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Updated: Ease On Down The Road With Jess Magic As She Honors Martin Luther King, Jr. & Herself

Posted last night:

I’ve been working on a story to share with you that will eventually be modified for my book, Rise of the Heartist. On this day where we celebrate one of the real life heroes of our time, it felt relevant to share…in reverence for the Reverend.

My favorite researcher, Brené Brown​, says that vulnerability is “the only path to courage”. So fucking true.

A couple of nights ago I did something that terrified me more than my first time getting on stage as a skinny, awkward 7th grader belting out the opening song in “The Whiz”.

I was asked to speak at event and share a bit about my mission…to rise up a modern renaissance of “heartists” and storytellers who can help humanity remember how to create from the heart and live from love.
I was guided to open with a very intimate story of discovering my own personal heartistry, which happens to be one of the most tender (and heart-breaking) moments of my life.

It didn’t actually make any sense. The event was in a 500-person concert venue with an enormous bar, multiple levels, and hundreds of people who came to dance to rock music.
It would have been so much easier to say as few words as possible (knowing that half of the audience wasn’t in a space to really receive what I was sharing). I knew that I could get up there, jump around, get people to playfully connect, sing, laugh and dance, freestyle a little bit, let the main act take it home, roll off the stage on my knee scooter (for those of you who don’t know, I have a broken foot ;-)) and call it a night.

But this mission-o-mine has been ripening on the vine for years, and I knew this was an opportunity to grow beyond my comfort zone. To risk approval. To face rejection.
And I did.
In fact, while I was singing I heard one lady yell,

“Sing a song!!!”

She shouted this right in the middle of me sharing the vulnerable story, which is pretty much equivalent to saying “Shut your freakin’ trap and get on with it!!!” 😉

But there were some people there who were really ready for this message. I believe that most humans would actually feel more freedom, joy and love in their lives and be a bigger contribution to the planet if they spent as much time in their hearts as they do in their minds.
I can’t help but feel that I play a role in this shift.
I also know that the only way I am going to grow as a leader, as a speaker, and as a person, is to put myself out there and do what scares me. As my friend Clay Hebert said, “You don’t get the muscles by reading fitness books”… you have to get your butt in the gym.

I know that I am, as are many of you are, designed as a way paver…experimenting with new ways of being, based on environmental factors that are entirely different than the survival needs of our predecessors. We are psychologically programmed to be risk-averse when it comes to social rejection…and I am still, at the age of 38, uncovering tendencies to choose what feels good over what feels true.

But there is a cost that we incur when we modify ourselves, deny the gifts we’ve been given, and withhold the truth that we know, which is far greater than losing the favor of our peers.
It is the subtle dishonoring of our lifeforce.
The precious gift from our creator…and when we get switched on to knowing how sacred that is, we begin to lose our own approval every time we sidestep the opportunities to share.

I’m not here to coast by. I’m here to shape culture, and to offer myself undefended, so that hopefully, others can take down their defenses and be seen…and then perhaps we can actually connect with each other and feel the empathy, admiration, adoration and love that is so desperately needed on the planet at this time.

Have you ever noticed that the more we challenge ourselves to remove our masks and share the real stuff, the lighter and more relaxed we feel?

Have you ever noticed, that the more someone else offers up their fears, insecurities, and character-shaping moments of choice, the more respect and compassion we feel?

At the end of the day, whether our “gym” was the stage, a conference, the boardroom, or the bedroom, the more we invest in the muscles that take down the armor, rather than hold it up (or in), and the stronger we become.
It is this strength that helps us develop an unwavering connection to what’s being asked of us…even when it doesn’t make sense…even when it’s not exactly what everyone wants to hear…even when we’re defying the very voices that we’ve relied on to keep us safe for most of our adult lives. It is also this strength that leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. emanated and embodied that shifted an entire culture into way of being that so many people deemed impossible.

On this day where we honor one of the greatest examples of leadership in human history, I dedicate that my fears become my fuel. That my passion transforms into inspired action. That together we strip away the masks that we thought would help us be accepted, in exchange for the realness and courage that will allow us to be celebrated, loved and remembered…by one or by many.

In Loving Remembrance,


Photo captured from a video clip by the illustrious and rarely on FaceBook ~ Petey Pineapple

Oh boy. Does this woman not know how to paragraph? More worrisome, Jaahass played Dorothy and screeched “Ease on Down the Road” in a middle school production of “The Whiz”[sic]? Let’s hear it for authenticy! Her woo penchant for cultural appropriation began early. And I just Kant with the MLK lead-in to Jaahass patting herself on the back for her vulnerability and courage when muttering some gibberish about being a heARTist instead of singing some gibberish with her surgically modified throat.

Hey, Magic One! We’re sure looking forward to “Portrait of the fARTist as a Young Dilettante.” Surely Donkey & her intellectual acumen, not to mention all those burned bridges, will get you a hefty advance from St. Martin’s. And if you can’t turn anything in on time and have to give back the money, well, that’s what a crucible does!

Full Disclosure: Petey Pineapple is Jaahass’s current fuck toy.

Update: MLK’s spiritual daughter wants YOU to become more authentic … by opening up your throat. #brokewoo #scamdrop

Oh, Happy Bray! Devin Stetler Is Reportedly Married & Expanding His Weed Business

A tipster insists Devin Stetler, Donkey’s “base model” and “healing chef,” is now married. We’re waiting on confirmation. But if our Debbie really has tied the knot, is this the lucky lady? Feel free to research!

Riverbank’s marijuana king is also expanding his business, now growing weed in addition to dispensing it. Unlike the woo grifters, Devin is actually a successful entrepreneur. He has also removed his modeling portfolio – not the image Tony Montana now wishes to project? But don’t panic: we’ve saved those snaps!

Note to Alex Marson: There is life after Julie Albertson and it tends to be a better life. Just ask Devin, David Block, Pancakes McCain, Eater Guy, OMG Alex, Cancer-Free Dan, [REDACTED], etc.

Bottom Videos! Misty water-colored memories of the way we were …

The Caterwauler In Crisis: 40-Year-Old Idiot Gets Naked, Does Cannonball Into Pool, Breaks Foot

No idea if Jaahass is still dating Aussie Petey Pineapple – her relationships tend to have a short shelf life – but she is apparently in Colorado and did recently break her foot. For reasons that elude logic, The Caterwauler’s recovery consists of posting naked fauxtos of herself to Instagram.

In other Jaahass news, the HeARTist lets her real-life sister know she still loves her and they’re still sisters, even though the woo goddesses call each other “sister” (and “mamma” and “lover” and “rainbow”):

Bottom Deep Thought! Judy promotes existential therapy, which I’m not entirely sold on but at least involves actual schooling and licensing, not just some sociopath putting up a shingle.

Look Who Just Landed In New York City!

Now hold on! Isn’t DJ Deadbeat Dad supposed to be in Europe for “personal and professional reasons”? Has he returned to New York because there’s suddenly a demand for hot chocolate ceremonies?

Honesty is la Fraud’s middle name. And though Jena NEVER reads here, we’re waiting to see how she attempts to spin this news in 3 2 1.

If you’re interested in seeing some of the designs that Sacha wanted you to fund to the tune of 10k, as well as how he would like to personally heal you via vibrations, check out https://sachanielsen.my-free.website/

P.S. Some interesting intel is coming in re: one of Donkey’s ex’s. Waiting on verification. Look for a new post tomorrow.

Bottom Video! The healing powers of the magical cacao bean:

Michael Ellsberg Needs Your Help In Becoming The Next Robert Mapplethorpe

The Greasy Gargoyle is hoping to monetize his penchant for voyeurism:

Photographer friends! I would appreciate some advice about submitting my first photo to a contest/art show! It’s not the one shared here–it’s much more explicit!–but it’s from the same shoot, of real-life couple and performers Dylan and T. After practicing photography for 3 years, the one I’m submitting is the first photograph I’ve ever taken at which almost everyone gasps with delight when they see it. Which means I think it has a good shot at getting accepted to the Seattle Erotic Art Festival, where I’m submitting it.

Here are my questions–any guidance would be much appreciated!

–> The photographs must be priced, for the gallery. What is a reasonable price for a quality erotic fine art print from a non-famous photographer? I really have no idea. $300? More? Less?

–> I imagine the first question also has to do with the size of the print. Unfortunately, I shot in JPG (I know, I know- rookie mistake, I am now shooting in RAW!) The pixel dimensions are 4240 x 2384. What would be an ideal size to print for a JPG of these pixel dimensions?

–> Any suggestions for how/where/format to get it printed? I’m a complete newbie at this. Should I get it framed? If so, any suggestion for types of frames that you think would work with this?

–> Are photographs sold at art galleries expected to be a single print? Or an edition? Or I can sell as many as I want in other places? I imagine this impacts the pricing a lot too.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated. THANK YOU! 🙂

Such a tease! Would you pay $300 for explicit 1990s alterna lesbian porn suitable for framing? Zzzzzz … And if anyone wants to accuse me of being a closet prude, we have two vintage Skrebneskis in the master bathroom. (Ha Ha, but we seriously do.)

First the “bestseller” on eye contact and now Bob Crane 101. Daniel Ellsberg must be so proud.

Bottom Picture! Smelly & Mark McKinney’s Chicken Lady: