Updated: Con Artists Jena & Sacha Practice The Old Bait & Switch

Come for the druggy chocolate and enroll in a useless workshop in “creativity”:


Last night Sacha and I co-lead a Spring Equinox Cacao Ceremony in NYC.

In front of an atmospheric fire in a Penthouse in SoHo, we gathered in a circle and created a magical mood together.

However, it wasn’t just Sacha and I who created it. The event was designed to be interactive and participatory, so everybody who attended added their part. It wasn’t a lecture addressed to the mind, it was an experience addressed to the body, mind and soul.

Spontaneity and self-expression was welcomed. Exploring new eyes was encouraged.

It was an environment fertile for the feeling of magic and creativity to arise. Within 2 hours, the shift in the participants was obvious. Their eyes had more sparkle. Their voices sounded more courageous.

There was a current of aliveness and presence in the space that is a key ingredient to the generation of magic and creativity.

Our cacao ceremonies are a great place to have this experience, but it’s available to you, wherever you are on one condition: that you are willing to surrender and invite it to happen.

To choose to surrender, and therefore to invite more magic and creativity into everything you do, is one of the most valuable choices you can make in your life. Doing so effects EVERYTHING for the better.

That’s why we’re excited to invite you to our 2-hour playshop to show you how. It’s called, “The 3 Keys to More Magic & Creativity in Your Every Day Life”

In this 2-hour interactive playshop we will show you how to:

— Tap in to the boundless creative power of life itself, and plug it in to your career, your self-expression and your lifestyle.

— Open your awareness to how much creative potential there really is within you, and how to use it to make every day of your life a more magical experience.

— Overcome stagnation, restless and boredom, balance structure and novelty, and channel your creative fire into every area of your life that you’d like to transform.

Investment: $25 in advance, or $30 at the door
When: Saturday, March 25th, 2:00 PM – 4:00 PM
Where: The Alchemist’s Kitchen, 21 East 1st Street, New York, NY, 10003

We’d love you to join us for this engaging playshop on how to bring magic and creativity more alive in daily life for you. Reserve your spot here.


With a magical twinkle from my eye to yours,

With love,
Jena la Flamme

Sacha phones it in:

“Creativity is really tapping into this very core of creation.”

Thanks for that, Deadbeat. Surely you’ll soon have enough $$$ for that green card. By the way, how are those kids back in Switzerland?

Bottom Picture & Flashback: The Guinea Pig of Love attends Pleasure Camp!

I grew up going to camp: sailing camp, ballet camp, Canadian canoe camp, even debate camp. But I’ve never attended Pleasure Camp…until now.

Run by the effervescent Jena la Flamme, Pleasure Camp is a weekend seminar meant to “completely re-wire a woman’s mindset around her own attractiveness and body-image.” It is crucial, Jena insists, that I mend my broken relationship with my body if I want to have the relationship with a man that I’ve always wanted.

“The workshop,” Jena explains to me, “is for women who have struggled over the years with bouts of painful body image and emotional eating and find themselves conflicted about having an attractive body.

On one level they want it, but on another, they’re afraid of the consequences: being considered a threat to other women, reduced credibility in the workplace, undesired attention from men, to name a few.”

So why is finding my ideal man an issue for me? “When you’re in a state of disapproval about your body, men pick up on it,” Jena explains. “A woman who disapproves of her body, her appetite, her beauty, and her pleasure, has a disadvantage in the game of love, even if she’s gorgeous. Great looks may be able to attract desirable men for casual dating, but Mr. Right—the love of her life—is also looking for great self-esteem and inner confidence.”

To say I’ve struggled in the past with my body image would be an understatement. At 18, a freshman at college, lonely and miserable, I started binging on foods that would give me that serotonin kick for an instant jolt of happiness: pizza, ice cream, candy—you know the drill. Unsurprisingly, I gained weight. I hated myself, and I hated that horrible feeling I got after I stuffed my body to the breaking point. I just wanted relief, so I began throwing up. Binge, purge, binge, purge, binge, purge: a massive bulimic was born.

Perhaps it’s not a surprise that I had some of the loneliest, most disastrous relationships with men and sex during those same years. It was not a period of peace, calm, or contentment in my life.

It seems obvious now: every area of your life affects every other area, and if you don’t love your body, you’ll choose men who reinforce your belief systems. In other words, your relationship with your body directly affects your relationships with men. But I didn’t connect the dots.

“Be skinny.” In our session, she explained that, “the turning point comes when you realize animals in nature don’t struggle with body image or over-eating.” Those in the room laughed at the idea of a dog thinking its “too fat” to be loved. “Understand that your body is a living, breathing, feeling, decision-making animal that already knows what to eat, how to exercise, and what it needs to feel great and look great. You just need to get into the ‘right relationship’ with your body, your ‘animal.'”

To further illustrate her point, she asked us all to imagine refusing to give a child healthy, nutritious food, water, enough sleep, access to fresh air and light, touch, movement, and play. What if we never hugged our child? What if we never allowed our child to play? What if we locked our child in a dark room and told him or her to type on a computer for 12 hours straight, stopping only to pour coffee down his or her throat to keep him or her working? The entire room cringed, imagining social workers taking our children away. Except that’s what many of us do to our own bodies.

“You can think of that relationship like your very own ‘inner marriage,'” Jena explains, “and the quality of that relationship—whether it’s abusive, neglectful, or deeply connected and loving—sets the tone for the type of relationship with a man that you will draw into your life.”

After that we broke in groups of five, with one woman in the center directed to dance slowly and sensually, getting into the flow of her body, while the other four support and empower her in a circle. At first I was shy. Being asked to dance the way I do when I’m in a really good mood—alone in front of my mirror, shaking my butt and thighs—in front of strangers was nerve-wracking. But once I let go, it felt so free, so natural.

I finally got it. In order for my future husband to find me sexy, I have to find myself sexy first.

Update: Lurch found scant information avaiable online about Sacha Nielsen, but she did come across this recent photo of the very, very good looking DJ and hot chocolate aficionado.

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NPD Nutcase Ali Shanti Continues To Celebrate Her Son’s Birthday By Talking About Herself

Skankatron began with a Happy BIRTHday to ME:

14 years ago tonight … just about this time, I left Courtney Blair‘s apartment to head over to the Hollywood Birth Center to give birth to Noah Neely.

I thought I was 8cm dilated, but upon arriving and being checked by the senior midwife, it turned out I was only 3cm dilated. Talk about a devastating moment.

They had me walk the stairs. Half naked. Moaning. I did.

At just that moment Martha Hartney and Joanne Rees Ehlinger arrived.

I moved to the birthing tub.

A few incredibly intense contractions there, and the one thing I remember from that brief moment in time was that it was the first time in my life I ever felt full permission to ask for exactly what I wanted, how I wanted it, without any guilt about how it might impact anyone else. Oh birth …

Suddenly, I couldn’t stay a minute longer in the tub. The toilet was the only place I wanted to be, but the midwives said “no, we don’t do toilet babies here.”

They guided me to a birthing stool where I squatted as JoAnne held me from behind and underneath. She was 7 months pregnant herself.

And with a roar and more intensity than I have ever experienced, around 5a on 3/21/2003, Noah was born, a successful VBAC.

Happy birthday Noah Neely, and happy BIRTHday to me. 🙂

Not a thing about her son’s achievements, his positive qualities, or his potential. But let’s celebrate Ali again for HER incredible birthing experience:

Wait! Ali’s not done yet:

Been thinking more about my birth experience with Noah Neely (full story in prior post) and wanted to share something about my pre-labor experience, especially relevant for ambitious working moms.

I was 29 and an associate at a big law firm in Los Angeles, Munger, Tolles and Olson (the firm founded by Charlie Munger, Warren Buffet’s personal/business lawyer).

I was one of the few women, and the only mom in the associate pool.

My husband was a stay at home dad, our daughter was 3.5 (she was born during my post-law school clerkship for a Federal Judge on the 11th Cir. Ct. of Appeals), and I was commuting an hour each way from Redondo Beach to downtown LA.

Noah was due around March 27, or so. On March 19th, I woke up about 2a and felt an overwhelming desire to go into the office.

So, I did.

I spent all morning packing up my office. It turns out I was nesting, ambitious working mom style.

When I left that day around 5p to head home, I didn’t realize that’s what had been happening and I expected I would be back in the office the next day.

But when I woke up that next early morning, contractions had definitely begun.

I never did go back into the office. In fact, the next time I went back, a few months after Noah’s birth, it was to tell the partner I had been working for that I wasn’t coming back. Instead, I would be starting my own law practice.

After a bath, I went to the beach, swung on the swings, and waited for contractions to intensify.

Around 3p that day, we drove across LA to my sister’s house in Hollywood, which was near the birth center I would give birth at, and where my daughter would spend the night.

We ate Chinese food (I stood up behind my chair swaying to handle each contraction), I took business calls from the law firm partner I worked with (as my family got angry at me for being on the phone), and my sister fed me chocolate cake on the toilet in her apartment.

And then, it was time to head to the birth center, which you can read all about in the prior post. I’ve attached some pictures here too.

Here’s my point … yes, you can work right up and into labor. Your body will tell you when it’s time to stop. Nesting for an ambitious working mom looks different than for a mom who takes off a few weeks before work, and that’s okay.

All the ways are the right ways. Choose your own adventure. Love yourself.

Indeed. Love yourself, Ali, love yourself.

Posted in Uncategorized | 102 Comments

“Creative” Donkey Brainstorms Award-Winning Title For Upcoming Garden Of Eden Smellfest

John “Like Buttah” Buttaz, founder of The Garden of Eden, the monthly woo shitshow in Encinitas, needs your help!

Leave it to creatrix Julia Allison to come up with a solution:

But will Sacred Earth be as exciting as the orgy-friendly smellfest “Unseen?

“Daddy, I’m scared of the loud glitter monster! Can we go home, please?”

Yoo hoo, Devin Stetler! If you’re not too busy dirty dancing with Papa Chevalier’s heterosexual husband …

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La Fraud & Deadbeat Dad Still Desperate For Roommate, Double Down on Sex & Caca

Yet another ad on Facebook. So inviting!

Knowing Jena’s track record, this marriage should last at least six months:

Desperate for attention and some cold hard cash, J&S tell all! Lovin’ the manbun. Is Sacha permanently stoned? The dynamic duo begins sharing their sexual secrets at the 41:00 mark:

“Please, please, please, come to our next Cacao ceremony and awaken your sensual intelligence! Wednesday, March 22 in a private Penthouse in SoHo. Imagine a fireplace, delicious hot cacao and sound healing, shared with like-minded souls.”

Bottom atrocity: Ali Shanti teamed up with Donkey’s lip smackin’ sweater sistah Myka “Electric Barbarella” McLaughlin for a scamfest in Boulder.

Seriously, women (and men not afraid of a roomful of women), if you’ve got ANY money stuff that has you not feeling 100% confident about how you are investing (or not investing), how you are using your resources, and what you are doing with them, show up tonight, if at all possible.

Sure, Ali, invest my retirement savings for me.

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From Routledge’s Studies In Whiteness: Jess Johnson & Her Singing Sistahs

Julia Allison’s BFF and her soulful blond “angels” just won’t stop giving it to us a cappella. “Oh, porno, porno, oh, oh, porno, porno … ”

Sure, Cory. But until that miraculous event occurs, you may have to keep supporting Jaahass. Her Patreon monthly donations have shrunk to $132/mo, though they never came anywhere near the 8k/mo initially requested by the caterwauler.

I thought it would be fun to check out the latest FB posts from the caterwauler’s partners-in-slime, the two women earnestly singing along and the third (unseen) woman tagged by Jaahass. Wow. Just. Wow. Scam Central!

Ms. Davis appears to be channeling KcBaker:

Annie Anton in the shower. With Pearls. “What up, bro?!”

Bottom Picture: Thrilled to be away from the braying donkey, middle-aged DJ Rain PhuturePhuckPhace smiles wide:


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