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Updated, Now With “Sassy” Jackass Writing In The 3rd Person : Jacy Is Finally Going To Get That Wedding

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juliaallisonI love him.
kate_ridesThis is everything ☝️💕✨✨ #love
aylanereoI love your love!!
oliviamhowellSo sweet 💕
sevenate99💚💜💙❤️😀
lacocinita😍 Did he buy you that tree?!
cmc2412Gorgeous couple 😊
juliaallison@lacocinita LOLLLL
farhadiniYay @juliaallison
lacocinita@juliaallison the perfect hippie gift 🎁 😂

A tipster writes:

LOL I know [Alex] Marson and this is a match made in heaven. While an extremely talented scientist, he’s exactly like Donk personality wise. Totally vain, totally pretends to be something he’s not (NOT a trustfund kid, although loves if people thinks he is). I’m sure he even thinks he is Mr. Big. I bet they get married at NY Library within a year.

One thing to note, these are very flattering photos of our scientist. Not that it matters, but he’s quite overweight.

Upcoming posts – “They’re in the queue!”

A pimpin’ pizza extravaganza
Bali Petco horror
The Donk orbit of a very reasonable man

Update: A lot of intel is coming in about Marson, including how he hooked up with A Donkey. I was going to wait until tomorrow to share some of this info in a new post; however, a new commenter beat me to it. Marson IS NOT Reasonable Man.

A true fairytale October 28, 2018 at 4:15 pm:

Not set up by Ryan Allis. This guy has been chasing her for years and totally knows what he is getting. This is her post, after long distance dating for a few months:

Once upon a time, back in September 2007, a 26-year-old newspaper columnist found her way to a GOOD magazine party in New York City, where she was living at the time. According to a reliable source, she spent the evening bantering with a witty, hilarious 28-year-old PhD student.

As the legend goes, the sassy young journalist asked him a series of questions about sex, dating and one night stands, supposedly under the guise of writing about it for her weekly Time Out New York column. No such column appeared in print, and to this day, she’s unclear on whether that was a move (entirely possible) or if she just didn’t get the quotes she needed. The young man, suitably intrigued, asked her out, but she declined, citing a conflict of interest due to “dating someone else” (true). It wasn’t meant to be.

In any case, the young woman walked off into the night, having neither exchanged numbers with the young man nor transferred ANY portion of the evening from short to long term memory.

In fact, the entire fateful interaction would have been lost to history entirely except … it only takes one person to remember.

And the young man in question did.

He held onto the memory of that night for years – 9, to be exact – until July of 2016, when he messaged her on Facebook. He had moved to San Francisco. Did she want to grab drinks?

No response. She didn’t see the message.

Undeterred, in October of 2017, he messaged her again, this time with a now legendary line: “Thought I’d reach out again. I suspect we’d have a lot to talk about. Want to meet?”

Again, she didn’t see the message. And besides, she was in Bali, being celibate. Not the best timing.

But the winds of fate finally shifted, and in July of 2018, against all statistical odds, she ran across the messages, and politely replied. She had just gotten back into the country and, sure, she’d like to meet up. Although she had absolutely no idea who he was (“Remind me how I know you again?” she typed, perplexed.)

As it turned out, he had suspected correctly … they had A LOT to talk about.

So it unfolded, spectacularly – and yes, inexplicably. He started calling three times a day, inexplicably. She found herself excited to pick up every time, inexplicably.

Nearly eleven years after they met, they went on their first date, which he kept calling their “second.” Charming, that one. 😉 The three months of courtship since their first/second date have been nothing less than total magic, both inexplicably, and very explicably.

“I met the person I want to keep talking to,” he said once to her, and she wrote it down in a notes file dedicated solely to his quotes. He’s eminently quotable.

Friends, allow me to introduce the young man in question, my beloved, Alex Marson.

He is, in a sentence: wondrously unique, incredibly kind, completely brilliant, undeniably special, and I am totally, utterly in love.

Also: persistence works!

Oh, Donk, you’re such a prize! Who wouldn’t wait years just to get a date with your sassy self?

A three-month whirlwind romance? We hear kids are definitely on the menu, though they’ve seen each other much less than three months. She was at Burning Man for two weeks after they met, then she jetted to Bali in late September. This is totally wack-a-loon, even for our aging, desperate burro.

Updated: Here We Go Again: Donkey’s In OMG! Love, This Time With A Reasonable Professor At UCSF

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You've got to climb Mount Everest to reach the valley of the dolls.

Holy Merde! Jacqueline Susann Donk is smitten with Alex Marson, a microbiologist with his own lab at UCSF. Did she meet him through Little Brother? Marson attended MIT and Harvard. There’s even a Zuckerberg connection. He certainly isn’t hanging with the woos … or is he? However you slice it, Marson is a giant step up from a philandering middle-aged DJ living in his sister’s basement.

https://marsonlab.ucsf.edu/

Update: Donk is still in Ubud, and Ryan Allis apparently introduced her to Marson. In addition to the woos falling all over themselves re: Donkey’s latest acquisition, Krystal Kahler, AKA Danish Mary, chimed in congrats, though she’s definitely kept her distance from our burro.

Tho EPIC! I wonder what he’ll be saying one year from now.

Julia Allison: A Life Coach To Life Coaches?

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Rhoda and I were speculating about Donk’s possible income sources when the lengthy share below popped up on FB. Writer Sterling Griffin is a “mastery coach to entrepreneurs” and CEO at LifeChanger Academy.

LIFE LESSONS FROM DAD PART 1

Today I got back to Louisiana to be with my Dad.

Back in April of this year, my family found out he has a terminal illness. Without getting into too many details, it was discovered he had late stage pancreatic cancer.

And as it stands now, he only has a short time to live. At most a couple months.

So I’ll be spending almost all my time here for the next few months, at my Dad’s side.

I have so many questions for him, so much I still feel I have to learn, so many lessons I want to carry on from him and bring to his future grandchildren.

The grandchildren who, unfortunately, he’ll never meet.

So each day while I still have him able to, I’m asking him questions about his life, learning from his genius. (Shoutout to the wonderful Julia Allison for help on the questions to ask).

And each day I can, I want to share them with you. Maybe the lessons my Dad passes on to me, you may find meaning in them to.

TODAY’S LESSON: PROTECT THOSE WHO CAN’T PROTECT THEMSELVES

In asking my Dad about his time in high school, I was curious if he was popular, more nerdy, or a loner (like I was).

I wasn’t surprised to find out my Dad was extremely popular, and even was voted “MOST FRIENDLY” his senior year out of all his class.

I went on to ask him if he dealt with bullies, and his answer surprised me.

He said I was never bullied, and so worked hard to keep others from being bullied.

“When someone was being bullied, I always stepped up for that person, whether I knew them or not. Everyone deserves to have a friend, and so I tried to be a friend to everyone.”

He stopped fights from happening, he spoke up when bullies tried to make fun of others.

My dad, was, and is a protector. Especially of those who can’t help themselves.

I’m asking myself, where in my life can I be a better protector of those I know (and those I don’t).

How can I protect others financially through giving or paying well?

How can I protect others by how I speak well of them and to them, whether or not they ever hear me?

How can I treat everyone I meet with care, love, and presence? Whether they are a cashier at Chipotle, a Lyft driver, or anyone anywhere?

The lesson for today is: Protect those who can’t protect themselves.

Thanks for being that protector for me my whole life Dad, and thanks for being a protector of others.

I love you Dad

Oh dear, this is something of a quagmire. Having lost a parent to cancer, I found Griffin’s words quite moving, but is sharing such a post with 2 billion Facebookers an act of bravery, of “transparency”? Griffin is friends with the usual suspects, e.g., Ali Shanti, and has papered the internet with testimonials for his coaching business and humblebrags re: his alleged income.

https://www.sterlinggriffin.com/

But the headliner at this blog is Julia Allison and we’re more interested in where she fits in here. Grief counselor to self-proclaimed web millionaires? Is she turning into a self-help guru for the tech exec and entrepreneurial-type folks she knows? A life coach of sorts, as well as facilitating connections among various marks? Her name has cropped up on lots of random little posts this past year that are similar to Griffin’s.

It’s all just speculation. We have it on good authority that the only gig Rainbow had when with Rain was HIVE, so Her Laziness would had to have been pressing nose to grindstone during the past year and that’s out of character.

Rogues’ Gallery: Avocado & Melania Tie The Woo Knot At BM Wedding Of The Century

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Avocado’s Camp Septic wedding was mentioned briefly in comments when we were transitioning to the new host, but I thought the EPIC event was worth revisiting. Enjoy!

Stop The Presses! Congratulations To Nisha Moodley & Noah No Vowels On Their 3-Month Commitment Container!

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What’s a woo pair-bonding without the gobbledygook? Take it away, Noodles!

nishamoodley𝑰 𝑭𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬⁣

We’ve spent the entire 3 years of our relationship (we got pregnant within a month of being together) prioritizing everything else above Us. Preparing for baby. Money. Moving. Welcoming baby. Money. Moving again. My sick father. His job transition. Managing a household. Parenting. Parenting. Parenting.⁣

Our relationship has shown the signs of neglect.⁣
And the further we drifted, the harder to return.⁣

The truth is, in the last few years, I fell out of love. With him, and with the Divine.⁣

I went through a period of needing to feel all of my necessary, honorable, and stashed-away rage. The pain of my oppression, my mother’s, others’. ⁣

I cried with a kind of fury I hadn’t felt since I was a lonely and hurt 5 year old girl who screamed into her pillow and tried to rip apart her undershirts — destroying things no one would notice were destroyed.⁣

I felt my anger rise up, purged from the recesses of my lineage and my liver, and when the shame of expressing it was too much to bear, I saw the shame and rage burrow between my brows. Lines of longing and despair.⁣

I honor this.⁣
All of it.⁣
A necessary part of my becoming.⁣

And then, JOY.⁣

I’ve learned, not just intellectually but in my bones, the necessity of allowing joy amidst pain. Of making space for it, receiving it deeply, enjoying it fully when it’s present.⁣

Without joy, the rage seethes and nothing changes for the better. The joy alchemizes with the pain and rage into clarity and action. True aliveness.⁣

And so I invited joy.⁣
Reveled in it.⁣
Basked in it.⁣
And let it dance with the pain,⁣
both welcome guests in my heart.⁣

And I started to fall in love with the Divine again. Slowly remembering what it’s like to live IN love. Listening. Embracing the complexity of welcoming life and death simultaneously.⁣

And then Noah and I turned towards each other and acknowledged the truth: that regardless of how functional we were as co-parents, we were no longer lovers. Our romance was hanging on by a single thread. And we had a choice to make…⁣

We chose to go all in.⁣

To make a commitment to each other, with real vows…⁣

It took some digging to discover “commitment” consists of three months. Big whip. I guess she needed some attention, and/or was trying to drum up business for the “sold out” 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 | 𝐀 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠⁣ goddess fest in SF? Noah should be relieved he didn’t sign any legal documents.

Re: No Vowels, he’s out at Summit and has a new job. No, not in construction but organizing corporate adventure type events. Tim Cook & team are sure to adore Bali! Maybe Julia Allison, advanced publicity strategist, can come up with a PR plan?

Bottom Picture! Always the blowsy bridesmaid …