It’s Halloween & 33-Year-Old Julia Allison Is In Third Grade

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While the rest of us are working, raising kids, actually paying our own bills, lazy 33-year-old fucktard Rainbow Allison has finally gotten around to choosing this year’s Halloween costume:

I grew up on Rainbow Brite. It was one of the only tv shows – along with Mister Roger’s Neighborhood, My Little Pony, Carebears and … Reading Rainbow (another rainbow reference; sensing a theme here?) I watched. Pretty wholesome stuff. In fact, I really just didn’t consume much else, media wise – my parents didn’t believe in television (a worldview I very much appreciate now), so mainly I read books.

That said, Rainbow Brite had quite a profound impact on me, and I’m re-examining that impact since I gave myself the code name of “Rainbow” at Camp Grounded and Burning Man this year.

In fact, the values of the tv show Rainbow Brite deserve a closer examination: what a positive message to send to the world – that color (an analogy in my mind for self-expression, kindness, care and love) can be a force for good. A superpower, if you will.

Plus, I mean, the sassy talking sidekick pony with the rainbow mane? He’s sort of the Horse Version of Lillydog. 

So obviously I need to be Rainbow Brite for Halloween.

Obviously.  She’s “re-examining the impact” of a cartoon character in relation to her woo name?  Jesus, I cannot imagine having this much time on my hands.  Be sure to add a few condoms to your Rainbow getup, Donkey!

Julia Allison Condom Fairy Halloween 2006

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Jacy Called It!

bigheadedsquatpieceofshit

No meeting with St. Martin’s, just another fucking wedding and presumably some wallet chasing:

At my high school debate partner’s (Judy Tomkins) wedding in Brooklyn right now … How many people can say they went to BOTH of the high school debate partners’ weddings?! (Shout out to Andrew Roin) ! It’s a random thing to be proud of … But I am. And Judy is just as witty, hysterical, brilliant and fascinating as she was when when we became friends in seventh grade and stayed friends – even after I lost us a tournament *spectacularly* – and in a rage she told me she wouldn’t talk to me again or get over it for “at least ten years.” I’m glad she was wrong about that.

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It’s Like This Useless Piece of Shit is Mocking Us

Screen shot 2014-10-16 at 10.57.35 PMDo you know what most 30-somethings did on Thursday morning? They went to fucking work, you misshapen shit stain.

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Obnoxious Yoga Enthusiast Corrected on Her Shitty Yoga Technique

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She also seems to have forgotten that she has an actual animal to take care of. Because she’s a weirdly proportioned piece of shit.

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What A Shocking Surprise That Some Idiot Running Around/Dancing in Her Underwear in Mid-October Would Get Strange Looks In NYC’s Financial District

I guess Carrie Bradshaw V.2 just forgot completely what New York is all about!!

Also — please, Donkey, shut the fuck up about yourself.

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