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Guest Post: In The Wake Of The College Admissions Scandal, “Grifty Shades of Bray” Weighs In On Julia Allison & The Culture Of Deceit

I was reading a piece in the New Yorker about the college admissions scandal. One of the takeaways from the article was about how scamming and grifting have become so casually pervasive and almost permissible in the upper stratas of America.

What I find so abhorrent about the woo culture that Donkey has attached herself to over the last few years is how clearly scamming and grifting are at the root of this culture, yet these people claim to be so pure, societally-minded, and yes (sounds familiar?) so full of LOVE. This is not news or surprising to anyone who has read this blog over the years. We can’t point out the phoniness and hypocrisy of most of its participants enough times.

For Donkey, this even pre-dates her woo phase. How exactly did she get into Georgetown after a mediocre performance in high school and a disastrous year at a state school? It was clearly the strings her father pulled with his friend Senator Mark Kirk, from his position of privilege. Her mother, a former Nixon speechwriter, edited her Georgetown dating column. Her PR stunts in NY allowed her to start up a fake web business where she “hired” interns for no pay to elevate her status and visibility. In NY, she worked her contacts and access to influence as hard as the woman who ran those massage parlors in Florida, and compare all the selfies the two of them took with movers and shakers to enhance their respective images. She pretended to write for the WaPo so she could grift a free breakfast at a hotel. Uninvited, she crashed countless parties and events and bragged about how to do it. She bought more than a hundred thousand fake Facebook followers, ostensibly with her BFFs Randi Zuckerberg and Dave Morin looking the other way, so she could grift free swag and gift cards from sponsors that weren’t always passed along to followers. She used a purloined unconnected NBC microphone to scam her way into NY fashion week where she gave fake interviews that never aired. She got a book deal and strung along the publisher for years without producing any usable material, and allegedly had to return her advance. She pretended to be the national spokesmodel for a clothing company, paid for and produced her own advertisements, and had a press release issued about it in her hometown. She fraudulently subletted apartments via AirBnb and was evicted in SF for doing so. And now she is presenting herself as someone who advises and inspires global entrepreneurs, having no relevant experience at doing so, simply because of her connections and because she says so.

None of her shenanigans were at the same level as the college admissions scam, but she is another example of how grifting and scamming is a way of life for some children of privilege who would rather profit by faking it through life instead of working hard. And there are new kids of privilege being born and indoctrinated into this way of life every day. Rules don’t apply to them, laws don’t apply to them, and accountability and consequences are for the little people. But let them show you how socially conscious and full of LOVE they are!

The Return Of Fingernails & Erudition!

A Donkey suddenly values honesty in a relationship? HA HA HA HA HA! ::wiping away tears:: “I honestly went through your iPhone and email AGAIN while you were sleeping.”

Re: the above image, our burro is making several backdated posts public.

Missing the slimelight, Judy?

Call Lock Day will be happy to read the passage you’ve so helpfully underlined, Judy, but only after HIVE’s COO has healed the masculine/feminine rift for all the globe.

Be afraid, Dodi. Be very afraid.

A Reader Asks: Is Partypants Morfing Into Donkey, Circa 2009?

A reader wants to know if we can talk about Partypants, former RBNS moderator and creator of GOMI – is that site still functioning? Well, ok, though I may not be too involved in the conversation. Sure, I’ve read some of the tawdry tales, but I’ve never been a reader of GOMI and PP has never been on my radar.

The RBDer requesting this post insists Partypants is becoming a bit “unrecognizable” after many “procedures.” PP is also sporting blue contacts and allegedly telling anyone who cares that she’s Jewish, though she’s not. Sound familiar?

Breaking News: Trump Appoints Julia Allison, AKA Red Guard Judy, To Head The New Will Hays Office Of Motion Pictures

Julia Allison, groundbreaking journalist with Tribune Media Services and esteemed cultural critic, best known for her award-winning Weekly World News piece “Goebbels Got It Right,” has been appointed by President Trump to head the new Will Hays Office of Motion Pictures. As film czar, Ms. Allison’s first job will be to rid American screens of content that she personally dislikes. Instead of a new Jordan Peele horror film and other such atrocities, Ms. Allison promises only wholesome fare for the fall slate of American movies. Get ready for some exciting remakes of your favorite romantic comedies!

It has come to the attention of the White House that a handful of talented renegade filmmakers are refusing to play by the new rom-com rules. The two movies depicted below were produced without Office of Motion Pictures approval. Anyone having knowledge of the parties involved is required to report this information to OMP or risk arrest and detainment at the notorious Lakeside Assisted Living Facility.

Updated (2): Culturally Illiterate Julia Allison Would Like To Put David Cronenberg, Jordan Peele & John Carpenter Behind Bars

Nisha Moodley, who enjoys posting naked pictures of her toddler for all the world to see, has a not unreasonable request:

Julia Allison, whose life was destroyed by a TV show and whose father hates free speech, would like to take Noodles’s request several steps further:

I take it Simone and the two Julias didn’t see “Get Out,” which was nominated for Best Picture? I could suggest several smart books about the pleasures and cultural significance of horror, both literary and filmic, but what would be the point? Just asking Judy and her intellectual acumen to read anything other than the latest self-help slop would be like asking a bear to shit in a toilet.

Bottom viewing suggestion! Karyn Kusama’s “The Invitation,” a horror film about murderous California woos, is one of the best-directed motion pictures of the past few years. Frankly, maybe we should put the woos behind bars? Oh no, your dotty aunt Gilly is confusing representation with reality again!

Update:

I was VERY impressed with her use of “myriad” on the vocab test and with Dr. Donkey’s continuing attempt to make spurious alliances between artistic expression and real-world horrors.

Update 2: Donkey of the Red Guard is now blaming pop culture for U.S. school shootings and our “sick society,” while handmaidens Noodles and Jim Clark cheer whatever idiocy falls from the burro’s maw: