Home Blog Page 2

Yoo Hoo, DJ Deadbeat! Delusional Jena la Flamme Keeps Embarrassing Herself On Social Media

47

Sacha Nielsen is gone with the wind, so much so he even gave an anniversary shout out to a BFF instead of to his wife on their second wedding anniversary! But the insurance scammer just won’t let go. From last night:

Such yummy deliciousness! The self-proclaimed erotic goddess was still worshipping Sacha this morning, despite the fact that he’s completely ignoring her.

Jena la Flamme
2 hrs ·
~ Hello 2019 & my 11:11 Anniversary ~

How are you, beauty?! Happy New Year! May 2019 bring you potent growth and expansion into your Erotic Innocence, sensual satisfaction, and body confidence. I hope to be part of your path this year and would love to hear your story along the way.

I’m finally emerging from my Winter Solstice cocoon of stillness and inward contemplation, to greet you, and the New Year, with pleasurable gusto.

Today, January 11th, is my second wedding anniversary to my beloved husband, Sacha. We chose this date to invoke the symbolism of the numerical sequence 11:11. The visual represents two trees standing side by side, with roots lovingly intertwined, yet each individually sovereign, resilient, and strong.

11:11 represents our equality as partners, and our nature as Divine Mirrors for each other.

So how are we doing after two years of marriage? The first year was a breeze, like living in blissful honey. And it’s true what they say about every couple reaching that painful moment of feeling that the “honeymoon is over,” which is where the real work of long-term relationship begins.

We’ve reach the second stage, and our current challenge is living on different continents. For personal and professional reasons Sacha needs to be in Europe, and I need to be in California, so for 2019 we are experiencing what it’s like to be in a long distance relationship.

So on our second anniversary, you can imagine how much I long to be physically in the arms of my beloved, to whom I am devoted with all my heart. However, we instead spent time together through the wonders of the web, and had a yummy Skype date, sharing our love to the fullest extent possible.

That included me sharing a romantic and groovy playlist. It’s only 4 songs. You can hear them here and sing and dance to them as we did. Enjoy!

https://bit.ly/2TMOpVr

Since he’s been gone I’ve been acutely aware of all the ways he helps and benefits my life, and how much more I have to make it all happen alone. I could count on him for so much support, and I felt so nourished and held. Great music, delicious gourmet food, and the mood of magic are guaranteed in his presence, which allowed me to become a bit passive in those regards. Now my challenge is to find the wonderful qualities I see in him, and have loved through him, also in myself, and to live them fully as my own.

Sacha has taught me so much. I’m a better person from being his partner. I know love more profoundly, and I have more to offer the world.

The mystery of our Love is unfolding.
I am a devotee of the Great Mystery.
I trust the twisting Path before me.

Thanks for being part of my world in 2018.

I promise you exciting offerings to come, and the adventure of a lifetime to sacred sexual empowerment, self-love, and body confidence, the vitamins we all need.

How’s your new year starting out? Any gems of wisdom for long-distance relationships? Please share them in the blog comments.

https://www.jenalaflamme.com/hello-2019-my-1111-anniversary/

With love,
Jena la Flamme

Any gems of wisdom for Jena? Nice job tying her epic marriage into her grift. The bullshit and the desperation stink to high heaven.

Perthithanth Payths Off: Alex Marson Is Making Old FB Posts Public

53

One assumes this piece of writerly writing is the missing attachment:

ONCE UPON A TIME, BACK IN SEPTEMBER 2007, A 26-YEAR-OLD NEWSPAPER COLUMNIST FOUND HER WAY TO A GOOD MAGAZINE PARTY IN NEW YORK CITY, WHERE SHE WAS LIVING AT THE TIME. ACCORDING TO A RELIABLE SOURCE, SHE SPENT THE EVENING BANTERING WITH A WITTY, HILARIOUS 28-YEAR-OLD PHD STUDENT.

AS THE LEGEND GOES, THE SASSY YOUNG JOURNALIST ASKED HIM A SERIES OF QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX, DATING AND ONE NIGHT STANDS, SUPPOSEDLY UNDER THE GUISE OF WRITING ABOUT IT FOR HER WEEKLY TIME OUT NEW YORK COLUMN. NO SUCH COLUMN APPEARED IN PRINT, AND TO THIS DAY, SHE’S UNCLEAR ON WHETHER THAT WAS A MOVE (ENTIRELY POSSIBLE) OR IF SHE JUST DIDN’T GET THE QUOTES SHE NEEDED. THE YOUNG MAN, SUITABLY INTRIGUED, ASKED HER OUT, BUT SHE DECLINED, CITING A CONFLICT OF INTEREST DUE TO “DATING SOMEONE ELSE” (TRUE). IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE.

IN ANY CASE, THE YOUNG WOMAN WALKED OFF INTO THE NIGHT, HAVING NEITHER EXCHANGED NUMBERS WITH THE YOUNG MAN NOR TRANSFERRED ANY PORTION OF THE EVENING FROM SHORT TO LONG TERM MEMORY.

IN FACT, THE ENTIRE FATEFUL INTERACTION WOULD HAVE BEEN LOST TO HISTORY ENTIRELY EXCEPT … IT ONLY TAKES ONE PERSON TO REMEMBER.

AND THE YOUNG MAN IN QUESTION DID.

HE HELD ONTO THE MEMORY OF THAT NIGHT FOR YEARS – 9, TO BE EXACT – UNTIL JULY OF 2016, WHEN HE MESSAGED HER ON FACEBOOK. HE HAD MOVED TO SAN FRANCISCO. DID SHE WANT TO GRAB DRINKS?

NO RESPONSE. SHE DIDN’T SEE THE MESSAGE.

UNDETERRED, IN OCTOBER OF 2017, HE MESSAGED HER AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH A NOW LEGENDARY LINE: “THOUGHT I’D REACH OUT AGAIN. I SUSPECT WE’D HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT. WANT TO MEET?”

AGAIN, SHE DIDN’T SEE THE MESSAGE. AND BESIDES, SHE WAS IN BALI, BEING CELIBATE. NOT THE BEST TIMING.

BUT THE WINDS OF FATE FINALLY SHIFTED, AND IN JULY OF 2018, AGAINST ALL STATISTICAL ODDS, SHE RAN ACROSS THE MESSAGES, AND POLITELY REPLIED. SHE HAD JUST GOTTEN BACK INTO THE COUNTRY AND, SURE, SHE’D LIKE TO MEET UP. ALTHOUGH SHE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO HE WAS (“REMIND ME HOW I KNOW YOU AGAIN?” SHE TYPED, PERPLEXED.)

AS IT TURNED OUT, HE HAD SUSPECTED CORRECTLY … THEY HAD A LOT TO TALK ABOUT.

SO IT UNFOLDED, SPECTACULARLY – AND YES, INEXPLICABLY. HE STARTED CALLING THREE TIMES A DAY, INEXPLICABLY. SHE FOUND HERSELF EXCITED TO PICK UP EVERY TIME, INEXPLICABLY.

NEARLY ELEVEN YEARS AFTER THEY MET, THEY WENT ON THEIR FIRST DATE, WHICH HE KEPT CALLING THEIR “SECOND.” CHARMING, THAT ONE. 😉 THE THREE MONTHS OF COURTSHIP SINCE THEIR FIRST/SECOND DATE HAVE BEEN NOTHING LESS THAN TOTAL MAGIC, BOTH INEXPLICABLY, AND VERY EXPLICABLY.

“I MET THE PERSON I WANT TO KEEP TALKING TO,” HE SAID ONCE TO HER, AND SHE WROTE IT DOWN IN A NOTES FILE DEDICATED SOLELY TO HIS QUOTES. HE’S EMINENTLY QUOTABLE.

FRIENDS, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE THE YOUNG MAN IN QUESTION, MY BELOVED, ALEX MARSON.

HE IS, IN A SENTENCE: WONDROUSLY UNIQUE, INCREDIBLY KIND, COMPLETELY BRILLIANT, UNDENIABLY SPECIAL, AND I AM TOTALLY, UTTERLY IN LOVE.

ALSO: PERSISTENCE WORKS!

Bottom GIF!

Donkey Is Moving Back To The States For “Work,” As In Monitoring Dr. Dodi?

85

Commenter Greg discovered Donk’s new Ubud rental listing. It’s very interesting:

No sign of Magic. Has she crossed the rainbow bridge alongside Lilly?

Bottom Picture! Once more, with feeling:

Updated: Spend A Bloody Sunday With Nisha Moodley At Her Magical Home In The Clouds – Only $277!

106

When she’s not providing tips on the care of uncircumcised males, our Noodles is busy hosting “intimate gatherings” for womxn and non-binary folk. Hey, even a woo goddess has to pay the mortgage! The latest con job offering:

A few days ago, I shared a bit about our journey of finding our home. ⁣

One of the elements of my vision was a gathering space for womxn. A lush, plush space that would have us feel like we’re floating on a cloudy – pinky hues, and the art of my ancestors.⁣

𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦.⁣

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴, 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦.⁣

In a few weeks, on the Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse, I’m hosting an intimate gathering in my home.⁣

The sky will be putting on a spectacular show, and this is our opportunity to speak our desires under the fullness of the moon, and exhale what is ready to be released. And as always, we get to experience the profound joy of doing it together.⁣

This is a longer event than usual & there are just 10 spaces available.⁣

𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐋𝐄⁣
𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ● 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 ● 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 ● 𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 ● 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐥𝐞 ● 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫⁣

𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝐭𝐡⁣
𝟐-𝟏𝟎𝐩𝐦 | 𝟏𝟎 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞⁣

Join me at my home in Mill Valley, California, for an intimate gathering.⁣

We’ll stretch out in our time together… We’ll circle together and explore our visions for this year, go for a short local hike, do a beautiful ritual, experience a healing breathwork practice, and enjoy a simple and healthy dinner together. We’ll end the evening sitting around the fire under the Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse!⁣

All womxn and non-binary folks welcome.⁣

$277⁣
Register here: bit.ly/lunareclipsecircle

Are Noah No Vowels and CROOOOOW! banished to a tree fort during the Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse? Speaking of No Vowels, how’s that three-month commitment container working out with less than two weeks to go? Take it away, Noodles!

A few days ago, Noah and I went on either the best or worst date ever, depending on how you look at it.

We argued about some ridiculous thing in the car, then spent the rest of our time together processing. 😑

It sucked and was also beautiful, because in the end, we let it all out, talked through our frustrations and desires, and created some new agreements.

We returned home exhausted and clear-eyed. We hugged tenderly and laughed in the kitchen, then Noah had to pack for his flight the next morning.

The next day, I was working from Noah’s desk. I opened the drawer to find a pen and found these photos.

This is the Noah I met 3 years ago. Sweet and joyful. Wildly optimistic and adventurous.
And he’s still all of those things. But parenthood and all that’s come with it has grown us up, made us too busy, and honestly has made us both f*ing cranky sometimes.

When I saw these photos, I was flooded with warmth and sweetness.

Some things are so easeful. But for the two of us — kids with divorced parents, thrust into parenthood by surprise, feeling a bit bedraggled from early-years parenting — partnership is a crucible. We fall, we learn, we adapt, we dance, we fall again, we make up. We’re learning how to be in a healthy partnership, every damn day.

#learninghowtodothisthing
#everythingisntalwayseasy
#realisbeautiful
#consciousconflictftw

Best of luck, you crazy kids! And please don’t dwell on how those crucibles turned out for Mulia Mallison, whether relationship or BOOK.

Bottom Picture! Donk has updated her FB bio:

Update: In case anyone missed it, Dodi and Donkey are OMG in love!

Khalil(SP) Gibran Helps Jena la Flamme Navigate The Well Of Loneliness

88

RBDer Curling Irons at Dawn first alerted readers that self-proclaimed erotic empress Jena la Fraud is single again. Quelle surprise!

I just read an Abraham Hicks quote that “the best thing you can give someone is your happiness.” A timely reminder of an easily forgotten obvious truth.

This is especially relevant for me at present, as my partner and I will be living apart for 2019, in different continents, and I feel very sad about that. We are both clear that we need to be in different places for the time being, but this clarity does not defeat the sadness and loneliness that weighs on me, at least not yet. It’s an evolution, day by day.

My mission is to feel, embody and live my happiness, even without his divine presence in my daily life. I love him profoundly and that has not changed. The love is present, just not shared daily rhythms of life, the hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. God, I miss him.

This is the Koan of my spiritual journey at present.

This weekend I’m engaging in an amazing Brazilian Zouk dance festival in Reno. I’m surrounded by curious, open-hearted people.

I am the butterfly and the empty space.
I possess deep knowing and I know nothing.
I am the sun in my heart.
I am the water in my tears.
I am the blood of my moon.
I am the wind beneath my wings.
I am the Earth under my feet.

If you’re in the Bay Area, think of me when you gather.

Love your sister in magic, xo Jena

Who could have foretold that Sacha Nielsen, AKA DJ Deadbeat Dad, would abandon Our Lady of Insurance Fraud, only to take up with another woo goddess on another continent? Was the marriage a sham all along? Did the “musician” and cacao master only want a green card?

Not to worry! Like Gloria Gaynor, Jena will survive:

Poetry to help make sense of our current physical separation. I feel a bottomless anguish that I am trying to dissolve with dance and music. I pray for strength to navigate the distress in my heart.

“You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

By Khalil(sp) Gibran

Together evermore, eh, Jena? Or at least until husband #4 comes along. #zoukyourpainaway #somethingtypicalishappening