Come One, Come All! Menudo Party Tonight in Swainyville!


Anyone who wants to come hang out at my place tonight is welcome!!! My best friend and Unicorn Superstar of Love Mr. Ash Ruiz will be hanging out starting around 8pm!!!!

We may even do some music together!!!!

He was the best lead singer that Menudo ever had!!!

Tonight at my Pad!!!

Surely Ryan Swain will make the evening ALL ABOUT HIMSELF.  If interested, here’s today’s 15 minutes of Ryan Swain talking about Ryan Swain.  The things one has to do just to pay the rent, eh, Elliott?


In other Boulder Woo news, Ryan’s sometime piece Ali Shanti is launching yet another business. HOW MANY GREG DAMN SCAMS IS THIS WOMAN OPERATING!? HOW DOES SHE KEEP ALL THE GRIFTS STRAIGHT!?

New moon. New company being born. The media projects are beginning. I am ready. Scared. And stepping in fully.

Need to pick a date for the actual birth of the new company. Verdarluz CelestiOwl you were spot on with the feedback you gave me on the launch last Winter. Would you be willing to share what date in the next two weeks would be the best to create a new business entity?

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Reunited & It Feels Sooooooo Good

couple 1

Having fled Porn Valley, Michael Austin Jacobs, the wittlest jedi, is learning how to eat & digest tree bark while balling romancing Skankatron 3000:

So happy to be re-united with my love.

Parked in the desert for a few days for a wilderness skills gathering.

Learning to make rattles out of raw materials!

Grateful for this life.


Day 1 of the Wilderness Skills Gathering:

Yesterday, I spent the day making the rattle with a crystal handle.

It’s filled with different types of crystals and incense.

Love being on the road smile emoticon

Goodness, I first thought Fozzie’s rattle was a sex toy pilfered from the home of Pamela Madsen!

Grateful for being a bum and palling around with your leathery faced lover’s kids while drinking jugs of ayahuasca – THIS IS SUCCESS!


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I Blinked; I Missed Her / Shantitown Shakedown

Donkey showed up in FB for a New York minute and quickly fled the scene … but not before our dear Brayella did an image capture. Fans in the ‘stans at 143K?  The scheme juices, they are a-boilin’.

julia fb

Meanwhile, back at the Swainwreck, not only did Andrew Thompson, in the grand tradition of Nancy E., politely inquire as to Ryan’s drug usage and why he was renting space to former Menudo member & spiritual quack Ash Ruiz, Mr. T also gingerly, yet firmly tried to get to the bottom of Skankatron 3000’s role in the collapse of the Swain marriage:

Ok this is a long-winded question. According to to your New Year’s Eve video on the state of your marriage you stated you had split with Bree and you both agreed to be free. You had the kids with you and so I’m assuming she felt you were a good dad at that point and “safe” with the kids. So you come back from New York and then for all of January you don’t see your kids but everything seems fine between you and Bree because there is no mention of any problems by you. Then at the end of January you announce on Facebook that you are in an open relationship with Ali Shanti and she acknowledges it as well. That seems to be the time that Bree left with the kids and all this chaos with court orders and prolific posts and videos by you starts. So obviously something triggered it. Was it your relationship with Ali? And if not, what do you think set Bree off? Just trying to understand….

I only ask because before I saw your post about your relationship Status with Ali I knew her as Alexis Neely thru another dentist friend who followed her or liked her so I would get sponsored posts from her on Facebook selling webinars, business systems etc. When you posted her alter ego name Ali Shanti I googled her name and pages and it linked the two names with pages of crazy stuff about her and her lets just say less-than-stellar-reputation came pouring out the computer. So I just assumed Bree may have seen and read the same stuff I did and fearing the Ali would be a negative influence on the kids she did what she did. Which only seemed to make more sense when a couple days later you changed your profile to not include her and she all of a sudden went back to being with a guy more than half her age!(not that there’s anything wrong with that). So I assumed you were trying to right the wrong and get Ali as far as possible. How well do you know her? Did you know her back in Rochester before moving to Boulder?

Ryan does a little sidestep around the questions, never speaking directly of Shantitown and, of course, blaming everything on his wife:

Hmmmm. I think what you’re suggesting could very well true. But, I tend to think it was a secondary trigger….and the primary trigger was when the kids went back to her house the last time I saw them and when they went to her house and felt her rules and more constricted vibe, and they through fits. That must’ve been scary for her. On some level, conscious or not, she probably realized that the kids were liking my house better. I think that’s the main thing that really through her off kilter. 

I’m threw through for now.  If you’ve been following this batshit reality show – some cat peeps love it, some hate it – Thompson and Swain’s conversation is worth a read:


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Michael Ellsberg Knows What “Ladies” Want


OK ladies, I want an honest answer. Would it turn you on to see a guy in this–lingerie designed for men? If he had a nice body?


In addition to choosing his fall lingerie line, New York’s premiere dom found time to weigh in on “that movie” –

Fifty Shades of Boring.

– as well as to provide helpful information for men interested in sexually stalking ladies:

GUYS (who are into women): 4 Ways to Make a Woman Feel WAY Safer Sexting With You (which will also likely lead to the sexting getting WAY hotter too, because she feels safe with you…)

1. Ask for consent before starting to sext. Asking goes way better once there is already flirtation in the texting. You could ask: “I have some very naughty thoughts about you I’d like to share. May I?” Or, “May I talk dirty with you for a moment?” If you’re already flirting, usually the answer will be “Yes”.

2. Set up safewords. “I want you to know that you can say ‘Red light’ at any time for any reason, and I will stop immediately, and ‘Yellow light,’ and I will tone it down.” Aside from making her feel safer and more in control, this has the added benefit of liberating you to be more daring with the naughtiness of your imagination as you type, as you both know she can stop it or slow it down if it is not to her liking.

3. If you ask for, or she sends nude selfies, say to her (and absolutely commit to it within yourself): “I will never ever send these to anyone, and will never even show them to another soul without your permission.”

4. NEVER SEND THE DREADED UNSOLICITED DICK PIC! Really, the unsolicited dick pic is one of the things women repeatedly tell me they hate most about interacting with men on the Internet. Think about it. You wouldn’t flash a woman on the street, would you? Well, sending an unsolicited dick pic is essentially the same thing.

However, there is one simple thing that can turn dick pics from a dreaded occurrence, into a source of delight for you both: consent!

Try this: once you can tell she is aroused by your sexting–and particularly if she is already sending you nude selfies–simply ask if you can reciprocate. For example: “Whoa, you’ve got me rock hard. May I show you?” With this one simple question, a woman is often very curious to see the effect she is having on you, and the dick pic gets transformed from something dreaded and scorned, to something that turns her on, in the context of your ongoing sexting.

Wow, the power of consent.

Sext away today, lovelies!

top hat

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Just Because We Miss The Bray So Much

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