Here Are A Series of Photos of a Hard-Working Donkey During Terrible Stays in Her Various Stress-Prisons

Life is so taxing and difficult and onerous in the Stress Prison created and paid for by her horrible, hard-working parents. Poor thing!

At that rate, I would never take a vacation – and, frankly, I rarely have. In fact, I can’t think of the last time I’ve taken a vacation that hasn’t been combined with some kind of justification / work / intense personal growth (a speaking engagement, a consulting gig, an article I am writing, an obligation of some sort – like the wedding for a friend – or including the experience for the book).

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Alana Joy Pops Into The Basement & Sets The Record Straight

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Hi Catladies,

A beloved basement dweller let me know I was mentioned here so I came by to see what’s what, and want to clarify some untruths I see floating around. This is TL:DR level, so for those of you who care:

I didn’t try to move to LA, I did move to LA. In November of 1999, before I had ever heard of a donkey. I also did not move to LA to be a blogger or internet fame ball, I’m pretty sure you can do that from anywhere, no? I also had never blogged before at this point. Not publicly anyway, though I’ve always been online and used to frequent LiveJournal…

In reality, I was 20 when I move to LA from Ft. Lauderdale/Miami. I was emancipated when I was 15 years old because my mother was all kinds of abusive. I went through a lot: group homes, foster homes, court cases to gain my independence from my mother and a broken system. Years of therapy, which I still attend because it’s good for you!

I wanted to move as far away from her as possible, somewhere I could create my own life that had nothing to do with my past. I did attempt music and acting and achieved moderate pseuo-recognition, but no kind of “fame” by any means. I really just wanted to try my hand at doing whatever made me happy and feel I was being creative, so that’s what I did. I’ve always love to write, make music, sing, was a drama nerd in HS… I just wanted a life on my own terms. I also worked in the fashion industry as a buyer and production manager, as I pursued creative interests.

Unlike a donkey, I have worked my entire life to support myself, since I didn’t have parents to count on. Hence my venom towards an entitled, spoiled, narcissistic, anti-feminist piece of shit. I started my first blog, a fashion blog, in the early 2000’s, I want to say somewhere between 2004-6 , which is when I first ever heard of a donkey. It was during the redacted era. I hardly never posted photos of myself or my outfits in any kind of “consistent content” way, nor shared about my life in great detail, so I’m not sure where the fameball BS comes from. Years later I was offered opportunities to host a web series on social media and a few other similar things, because that is the vertical I work in and I was prominent on a variety of social networks. Of course I said yes, this was great for marketing my services and establishing thought leadership to gain better clients.

When I created Life On Blast, which I remember as being well received by the majority of catladies actually, it was NOT meant to be a version of NonSociety. In fact the goal was to create a space directly opposite: that featured cool, creative projects and ideas made by OTHER people, and transparent dialogue about real world things we grapple with as we build our adult lives. At first I played with the idea of showing what the lives of a few actually hard-working, motivated women with unique careers was like in reality, because I hated how Julia presented a cotton candy, anti-feminist, filtered version of what the twenty something life was like. No pointing at shoes and notes in the margins: I was hoping we would talk about pressures, challenges, and earned victories. To motivate others and help them to realize that they don’t have to follow the same formula in their lives as whats presented to us.

At the time I was at the beginning of my career as a marketing strategist, (actually) working for myself. Another girlfriend wrote for a well known trash-mag, another was a production editor for an entertainment channel on TV you all probably flip through, another a makeup artist and stylist for TV and entertainment, etc. I never actually ended up implementing this aspect of Life On Blast fully, because I found it increasingly challenging to get everyone consistently creating content on a deadline in addition to their work demands. It was hard for me to manage on top of writing and reading content for the site and keeping up with OMG work.

Sorry guys but its annoying as fuck that if you create a website, make videos, or whatever… you must be a fameball. Some people are just ambitious with ideas and the ability to create a platform. I didn’t want to be famous I wanted to figure out how to make a living doing what I love, and I love to make things and share my story. I can see how that may appear somewhat narcissistic but that really isn’t where I’ve ever come from. My life has been unique from day one and I’ve overcome a lot of heavy shit. I’ve found it validating and cathartic. Not everyone is a donkey. I’ve always tried to give back by sharing my story, and continue to by working with organizations that empower young girls and abused kids, showing by example how you absolutely CAN overcome.

I didn’t get pregnant on purpose. It shouldn’t bother me now, to hear people who don’t know me or my life say this shit, but it does. No one can ever know what I went through. I started long distance dating my daughters father 3 months after I move to Oregon. He never did anything at all for my career, and at the time I was dating him I wasn’t making videos, music, or blogging consistently. I was working as a marketing strategist and my career had very little to zero overlap with what he could do for someone. I didn’t “move back to Oregon” – I’d never lived here before. Nor did I attend college here. I knew very few people in Portland and had zero support system. I’d met G at SXSW when I was there to speak (for work), a year or so prior to us dating. I genuinely liked him, we flew back and forth visiting each other for a few months, and then BOOM: pregnant. I was 31 and it threw me for a loop. I am pro-choice, but for me personally, as someone who had never been married and was only casually dating I wondered if this might be my only chance to be a mother, something I always saw for myself – so I decided to keep the baby, knowing I’d be at it on my own – G made that clear. The “wallet chasing” bull shit – REALLY? Tell me more. I got zero from him when pregnant, so supported myself fully through a pregnancy in a new city as a self-employed woman with very little local support. I didn’t start getting child support until well after my daughters first birthday, and what I do get is thankfully, enough to cover her pre-school so I can continue to work. It cost $60,000 in legal fee’s to get the child support order. You guys are so off the mark and its insulting on a deep level. I’ve busted my ass to get where I am, wherever the hell that is. G is no longer a deadbeat dad, to be fair. Once the judgement was official, he does pay what he’s supposed to and he’s been more involved with our daughter than he said or I expected. People grow to meet their situations, not all the time, but sometimes.

I have a career I love, a child I love, and a boyfriend I love – though we broke up last night so fuck shit suck, life goes on. But whatever you guys, I’ve never stopped peeping into the basement because I find myself occasionally missing the stench of cheetos and box wine, and Julia has always infuriated and disgusted me. I don’t even have the energy to rant about her anymore. It’s pathetisad at this point. I just wanted to clear up a few things about myself. Think what you will. Thanks to those of you who showed love. The rest? No1curr.

AJ

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Poor Donkey Who Spends Half Her Life On Vacation and High Simply Can’t Relax On Those Vacations, Please Send Help

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Hard at work! Not relaxing!

Her parents are to blame for this terrible, sickening affliction of Unable-to-Relax-itis!! Even as they pay for the all those stress-prison vacations!!!

Bringing Intentional Creativity, Adventure, Games & Play to Your Vacation (& Your Life!)

What are your favorite creative/fun/bonding games to play on vacation? (answer in the comments below)

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I was brought up in a family deeply inculcated with the Protestant work ethic. As such, we didn’t really “believe” in vacations – or play, for that matter. What served as relaxation? Chores. Libraries. Vigorous walks. Summer school. Listening to Teaching Company lectures. Intense discussions about politics, taxes and zoning ordinances. That sort of uplifting, free-spirited activity. wink emoticon

Even though I have rebelled against such a life externally, *internally* I’ve felt all the stress and strictures with which I was raised, no matter how free my life SEEMS from the outside. (You can take the girl out of the competitive, anxiety-ridden, perfectionist culture, but it takes a LOT of therapy to take the competitive, anxiety-ridden, perfectionist culture out of the girl. )

The internal experience is like I’m still 15-years-old tensely choosing AP classes and extracurriculars based upon “where I can get into college.” (My hometown culture was obsessed with such things; it was drilled into all of us from grade school.)

Even though intellectually I understand the value of doing something FOR NO REASON AT ALL … I find myself searching for the utility in nearly *everything.* It took me a year to finally color in my adult coloring book, and I really only justified it because I was going to write an essay on it.

Doing something JUST for the joy of it? Very challenging for me. (This is doubly ironic given that I’m writing a book about … joy.)

As a result, I’ve never really been a “let’s have an adventure” or “let’s play a game” sort of person. I always want to know what “the point” is, even when I understand that the point is that there IS no point.

In the month of January alone, I tracked 7-10 instances of immune system compromises (that’s what I call psychosomatic illnesses caused from stress and worry). I’m a health nut, so this level of physical breakdown is very unusual for me, and I paid attention. Breaking a pattern I’ve had for my entire life, I scheduled an “emergency” vacation about three days ago. I’m going to Mexico for a week, and I leave Sunday.

Does my life LOOK like I need a vacation? Not from the outside. But I was making myself sick from stress, so my body was telling me I did. [EDS note: LOLOLOLOLOLOL]

Did I feel I ‘deserved’ one? No. I feel guilty about it, and I haven’t even gotten on the plane yet. I had a long list of what had to happen before I ‘deserved’ a vacation. I had to publish my book (which won’t come out until 2017, so that’s a long wait). I had to have a certain amount of money in the bank. I had to have a new website up. I had to start my podcast. I had to hire a new assistant. I had to find the perfect new place to live. I had to … and so on, and so on, and so on.

At that rate, I would never take a vacation – and, frankly, I rarely have. In fact, I can’t think of the last time I’ve taken a vacation that hasn’t been combined with some kind of justification / work / intense personal growth (a speaking engagement, a consulting gig, an article I am writing, an obligation of some sort – like the wedding for a friend – or including the experience for the book).

On top of that, if I go on a trip of any sort, I’ll bring books, work and spend my time taking lengthy and copious notes on things I want to achieve when I’m home.

It’s a way that my subconsious stays in rapport with my family of origin’s values structure, which also has the effect of tricking my system into NEVER, EVER really relaxing.

It is not a boon for happiness, as you might imagine.

So it occurs to me that I need to mix up my default to stimulate creativity, instead of treating a week away like it’s another thing on my To Do list.

I do still plan to write, but I want to feel that not as a “have-to” but as a “get-to.” … and the boundaries I want to push for myself are the following:

1) I will stay in the present. No future planning. I can vision and dream … but intense mapping / anything that creates pressure and more items on my Goals List? No go.
2) I will do things FOR NO REASON! (Um … any suggestions for how to do this? Besides drinking or drugs?)
3) I will play GAMES. Does anyone have any they particularly like??
4) I will have ADVENTURES in serendipity.
5) I will allow myself to be bored. Which I never am and usually hate.
6) I will turn off all my devices for the majority of the trip except to write.

I’m up for other suggestions in transmuting this Stress Prison I have been living in … because, honestly: what’s the point of it, anyway? Stress has never improved a damn thing I’ve done. It’s only caused me creative constipation and damaged my relationship with myself, the people I love, and my health.

The free spirit caged within me would love to come back out now.

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Updated, Now With BOOK! Nobody Love-a Da Donkey?

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Posted nine hours ago and still not a single comment. I don’t have 136k bought & paid for “fans,” but I would have received several responses by now.

If someone were to say something completely truthful and courageous to you that would open your heart, what would that thing be?

In other words, what is it that you want to be loved for that you don’t currently feel you are being loved for, whether consciously or subconsciously, whether by others (your partner, your friends, your parents, your colleagues) … Or by yourself?

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New York City, 2008. Age 28.

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Ali Shanti love-a da Donkey!

In other news, I was watching a trailer for the new Coen bros. movie and another trailer popped up on YouTube immediately after. Usually I click off these followups, but this upcoming theatrical release really intrigued me. When I went to the IMDB to check out “Creative Control,” I discovered one of the co-stars was [REDACTED].  Wow, Donks, from a genuine founder and rather bright chap to third-rate burner fest DJs couchsurfing city to city?

I STILL LOVE YOU RAIN!!

Update: It’s 15 hours later and only one person has responded to Donkey’s adolescent “open your heart” query:

AJ Joy I would want people to be honest in their comments… and their questions. To say what’s really on their mind. For example, I am honestly wondering how your book is coming along. It’s been 2.5 years since you announced this and I’ve been on the edge of my seat… Is it ok to ask honest questions, or will they be deleted virtually and side stepped personally? Truly wondering. I think it’s courageous of me to ask about the elephant in the room. To the rest of your post, I’ll expand, since no one else has chimed in at all – out of almost 140,000 real followers: I wouldn’t want to tell someone what I want to be loved for, I would want them to discover what they love most on their own, because that’s most authentic. Had to go there, Julia. Because, for fucks sake.

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Bottom Fan in the ‘Stan: Preston Temple III. He’s been liking everything Donkey posts, she’s been liking everything Preston posts. Is a pointless vacation in their near future? BTW, that vacay crowdsourcing post has disappeared.

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Updated, Now With Vacation Donkey! The Company She Keeps: Another Thrilling Woo Roundup

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Ali Shanti, whose alcoholic ex-husband has apparently disappeared in Thailand, the sex tourism capital of the world, has decided what she wants for her son’s upcoming birthday:

My son’s 13th birthday is about 6 weeks out and I’m planning a rite of passage for him and could use some help.

I’d like him to have a vision quest type experience with the men in his life that would include a sweat lodge and a night of him camping out alone.

Greg Berry Marco Lam Jayson Gaddis Boysen Hodgson Craig Allan FilekJosh Zemel Nathan Otto Bu Nan Michael Brown Zachary Goldman Steve Dewart Lorene Wapotich Sujana Lorena Palazzo if any of you have ideas about where/how I could set this up relatively locally, I would greatly appreciate your input.

Anyone else too. Thanks!

The comments range from brief hosannas, from the likes of idiot woos Jena la Flamme – “cool!” – and Kc Baker – “Wow amazing” – to more disturbing contributions:

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“I still don’t know what occurred”? Things get really weird when Craig Filek pops in.

Up in Harlem, pleasurable layabout & stereotypical gold digger Jena la Flamme reflected on time spent appropriating Latin rhythms and encountering women who actually work for a living:

~ How I was In the Arms of a 100 Men & a Few Women Last Weekend ~

Yes, it’s true. I was literally in the arms of a hundred men and a few women last weekend. No, I was not attending a mass orgy. I was at a Latin dance congress.

What’s that?

It’s a weekend of dance lessons, dance shows, and dance “socials” which are parties with live music or a DJ in which participants social dance with each other, meaning they dance not for competition, but simply for fun and the love of it.

Generally dancers change partners after every song, for what my teacher calls a “4-minute love affair.” In those 4 minutes there is the potential for a beautiful unspoken intimacy with another human being. Plus, it’s an incredible opportunity for what I call pleasurable movement.

You know when pleasurable movement is happening because it feels more like fun and a great way to connect with your animal body than “work” or “exercise.” It’s the opposite of “no pain, no gain.” It may feel intense or challenging, but the key is that you’re enjoying the process.

Dance or partner dance, in my case Latin dance, is only one of a multitude of expressions of pleasurable movement—it can take any form that turns you on—but it is one I highly recommend.

Now you may be thinking, “that sound great for you, Jena, but I can’t dance.”

Before you decided that’s true, I want to tell you about Anya.

As one class was ending and another was beginning, I noticed her glittery gold dance shoes that I had myself been eyeing in the congress’s temporary shoe shop.

I approached her. “I love your shoes!”

She smiled and said, “Let me tell you my story: I have never danced before. I was born in Russia, and my mother told me you will be short and fat and you can’t dance. You need to study. As a girl I begged my parents to let me go to dance, but they wouldn’t let me. Now I am 43 years old. I work 60 hours a week, but I’ve taken this Sunday to come to class and learn to dance. I am being born anew.”

I hugged her in celebration of her rebirth. I pointed to the t-shirt I was wearing with an image of a lion on it.

“This is a symbol of your body, your animal, your lioness. May she be free,” I said to her.

“Oh my God! I am a lioness! How did you know I was a Leo?”

I giggled. “I have a strong intuition,” I said, which is true, but really it was just a coincidence. I felt so proud of her and deeply touched by her story and her conviction to dance, no matter what.

Later I danced with a female lead, Heidi Breslow, who told me her story:

“Dance changed me. I’m not a software engineer but I used to be in the military and I didn’t know how to communicate with civilians. Through dancing I was able to connect without even needing to talk. Now dancing is my social life. I barely drink. I’ll sip on a cocktail but I don’t like to get drunk. I’ve also learned to lead the dance so that I can connect with women too.”

All weekend the men and women I met shared their stories of discovering partner dance and allowing its magic to infiltrate their life.

“It’s not about perfect moves,” one of the teachers told me. “The most important thing is to smile and express your enjoyment through your face. That’s the key to great social dancing.”

I couldn’t agree more and I think that’s what makes me a dynamic dancer. I’m not hard on myself when I inevitably step on someone’s foot or worse, whack them in the face with my arm during a turn. (Yes, that happened more than once.) And though I admire dancers who are more advanced than me, I don’t enter into the miserable habit of comparisons.

The best compliment I received all weekend was, “You’ve got the hottest personality on the dance floor.” The compliment was not about my outfit, my physique or my technical skills, but was about my willingness to let loose, feel joy and to connect with a fellow human being in a non-judgmental, spirited way. I danced with men who were a foot shorter, a foot taller and a foot wider than me, and I enjoyed every one.

After 3 days of classes in which you frequently switch partners every few minutes, plus 3 nights of dance parties, I’m sure I easily danced with 100 people, each a unique experience.

Latin dance is a beautiful expression of sensuality. The particular focus of this congress was a dance is called Bachata. Also known as the tango of the Caribbean, it is sensuous, but above all playful and joyous.

Here’s a video of me dancing with a wonderful dance partner I met on the beach. This dance was 100% improvised, with me following this lead and him responding to my body’s capability and flow. Look how happy I look! I was having a LOT of fun in that moment, going beyond the moves I technically knew, guided by the improvisation.

I share this to open your eyes to the possibility of partner dancing for YOU! There are lots of dance forms taught all over the world, plus many instructional DVDs you can learn from at home. As the ambassador for your female animal I want to inspire and support you to take the risk to try something new and different.

Partner dance may or may not be for you, but the spirit of moving in a way that is exciting and personally rewarding is for all of us. Cultures around the world celebrate the body and no matter your shape or size, you can too, with pleasurable movement.

Now I’d like to hear from you. What does this post inspires for you and your female animal? If there was no shame and nothing to prove, how would you like to further engage in pleasurable movement. Let me know in the comments or ask me any questions you may have about Latin dance.

Love,
Jena

P.S. If you are in NYC and want private or group lessons, I highly recommend my teacher Juan Calderon. He has changed my life and continues to. My female animal body has never been so happy.

I just kant. Last and possibly least, Myka Dunkle McLaughlin, Duran Duran’s favorite teen model and Julia Allison’s bestie until the arrival of Jess “Caterwauler” Johnson, reemerged on FB after going dark when we revealed her past.  Myka penned several wackaloon entries about her “business,” in which she sounds suspiciously like Ali Shanti. Even nuttier are the entries about writing a book, complete with accompanying videos of Myka in her bedroom.

Day 5 of writing. Completed Introduction Chapter – 30 pages this week. Thank you everyone for your witnessing of my post yesterday. Big. Energy. Moving. On. Thru. Hallelujah. In honor of my little girl from all those years ago (and the little ones in all of us), I made a Tribute to our Young Ones video.

Day 6. Writing Goal – develop Outline for Book Proposal; revenue model for publisher’s opportunity with WINC; talk to AMAZING author of Rich Bitch,Nicole Lapin (p.s. she’s anything but a bitch, more like gorgeously loving and uber generous). CHECK! As for the videos I’ve been posting, I must say, I am HOOKED. For months, I’ve been getting visions of making music videos. I was trained as a classical ballerina and modern dancer growing up, and suddenly, I want to reignite my relationship to this huge part of my past. And if there is anything clear to me about this time on Earth, it is that the time is NOW. Whatever you want, its TIME. And not because its all perfect. Because WE are READY. Seriously, my music video fantasies have costumes and lights and they’re filmed in my HoloWINC events space with ample room. But perfection is old paradigm, if you ask me. So (with a big lump in my throat and lots of hibbie jibbies about what you’ll think of me), I’m making my music video fantasy real right NOW without any of the bells and whistles, live from my home office. What are you personally READY for manifesting, throat lumps and all?

I’m wanted back on planet earth now.

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Update: Donkey’s been changing FB profile and cover fauxtos. She’s also planning yet another vacation and needs your help!

I trust that you brilliant jetsetters know more than any travel magazine …What do you suggest if I’m looking to get out of the SF winter ASAP (like, next week), criteria being:

1) inspiring
2) stress relieving
3) calming
4) nature filled & stunning – near water (NO CITIES and the less people the better!)
5) WARM
6) inexpensive ($750-$1500 a week)
7) 6 hours or less from SF – so no Bali or Maldives, but probably Hawaii
8) spiritually activated (you can interpret that however you like)
9) romantic (again, up to your interpretation)
10) healthy food

Super specific suggestions most welcome! Like, if you have a particular AirBnB or eco-yoga-resort or … whatever. wink emoticon Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

Bottom Fan in the ‘Stan: Zuki C’ottak Konsllet, Jr.!

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