Glossary

The RBNS Glossary (est. August 2009), for your viewing pleasure and erudition. Compiled by industrious commenters. Terms that haven’t been defined yet are listed at the end. Give your own definitions or corrections in the comments, or add new terms!


£ • The British pound sign. Used by the fake-Charlsie on NonSociety’s now-defunct Question of the Day section to denote that she was the “real” Charlsie during the period of many Charlsies (just before the period of “oops! Question of the Day is gone!”) (January 2009) (link).

11 dates • Before Julia will have sex with a guy.

2010: a summary • Another year full of fail for Julia Allison.

Alex Drosin • One of Julia’s many exes whom she lived with for two years in NYC after she dumped her fiance (late 2004) in Newport Beach. Alex was married with children when he shacked up with Julia. Here’s a pic of him. Julia thinks he is gay. He also likes “amazing design” and started the website DietTV.com. Alex allowed Julia to live in his house for eight months after they broke up, before she finally moved into the Pink Palace when she started dating Jakob.

Alexander Marquardt (the ineffable) • Julia’s more successful Georgetown classmate, ABC News Moscow correspondent, rumored Julia love interest, and “genuinely nice guy”; his Twitter.

Angry, Sort of Sad Adults • The haterz, and moderators and commenters of Reblogging NonSociety, which Julia calls “My Little Hate Site”. Julia gave her haters this nickname on July 13, 2009, after announcing that she would no longer be receiving Google alerts based on her name.

“At a meeting” Nothing is going on, Julia is trying to appear busy, she is having a conversation with her “business partner” Lilly, hanging around the Tumblr office annoying people, or she is doing a 10-minute interview in a shitty cafe with Severus Snape. On her LA trip in April 2010, Julia droned on about how her mystery meetings must remain a secret.

Authenticity Costume • Sweats, glasses, no makeup, and a webcam (link, link, link, link).

Backslash • A mark of non-geekdom. The backslash ( \ ) is a typographical mark. It makes its appearance in many episodes of TMI Weekly, but sadly it doesn’t belong there at all. Julia, Meghan, and Mary confuse the backslash with its more common cousin, the slash, otherwise known as the forward slash, stroke or right-leaning stroke oblique dash. Viewers of TMI Weekly tend to become infuriated and tear their hair out by this numbskullery.

Ballet / DanceJulia used to be dancer and loves ballet, though she never goes to any performances (unless they’re freebies!) and possesses the grace of a clomping donkey. see also Dancer’s bun

Balthazar finger banging • Though it didn’t make the Daily News or Gawker until April 16 2008, Julia is alleged to have let Men’s Health editor Dave Zinczenko slip her a little something under the table at Balthazar when they were dating back in 2007.

Bicoastal Birthday Bash • A pair of parties to celebrate Julia’s 28th birthday in February 2009. Updated with the added crazy of BBB #2 (Feb. 2010 parties), and Expiration Date Bash (Tahoe, 2011).

BINGO! • The original Baugher bingo, Julia Allison travel bingo, and Jordan Reid bingo.

Blerg • An expression of distaste that can be applied to anything, whether it be dating, food, the World Economic Forum, dating again, or online shopping frustration.

Bloat Print Cleanse Anorexia in a bottle. Julia credits her flat stomach to the green juices, but in fact they have wreaked havoc on her metabolism. Her hunger has caused her to go on cupcake binges while on a cleanse. NonSociety has disseminated a lot of misinformation about cleansing and juices.

Blow jobs Thank you notes, according to this tweet.

Boycott NonSociety Sponsors • Shilling is tacky and gross. A list of companies and products that have sponsored Julia Allison and Nonsociety. //forthcoming//

Braying • What donkeys do best; a vocal communication method perfected by Julia Allison. It involves a gaping maw combined with sounds such as those that might emanate from a donkey. Related terms include Bray for Pay, Gaping Maw, and Kissy Face. Here is a catalog of braying poses (regrettably without sound, though your eardrums will thank you) created by Chescaleigh.

Brother Britt • A seemingly sane young man who beat his sister to the altar.

BrothGate“Pescatarian” Julia Allison (who rarely drinks) had broth made from chickens while ill after Thanksgiving 2009 (she even had Momsers make her catfish so she wouldn’t have to eat turkey). see also Dandelion Tea

CakeGate • A term coined by FormerGawkerEmployee; refers to Julia licking someone else’s birthday cake. see also Bicoastal Birthday Bash

Cake-lickingJulia has a problem keeping her tongue in her mouth, especially around cake. This ‘Lickomania’ is a form of the ‘Gaping Maw‘ pose. see also CakeGate

Calling Mary a bitch • Julia let her have it when Mary didn’t write New Year’s resolutions (link); Gawker saved the frenemy fight for posterity.

Cancer Dan • Julia’s lymphoma-stricken high school boyfriend whom she frequently blogs about to earn pity points.

Cankleshausen Syndrome by Proxy • Extreme embarrassment experienced by proxy due to Julia’s highly inappropriate and/or embarrassing actions, tweets, IMs, blog posts, interviews, lipdubs, TMI Weekly segments, TV appearances (e.g. Alexa Chung), Gawker comments, etc. Coined by commenter Dr. Gary DDS. cf. Munchausen syndrome by proxy

Can’t wear the same outfit more than once • Julia is a “media personality” who can’t wear the same outfit twice, or at least shouldn’t wear it more than three times. So why does the same DVF dress keep popping up all over the place? Other dresses too seem to be worn frequently. Smelly, kinda like those (free!) shoes she never takes off.

Celebrichauns with founder fetishes • Julia was publicly dumped by Charles Forman, see the video.

Charlsie NonSociety intern during January 2009 who kept a blog of her experiences with the banality trio until it was shut down. She is a college student in Virginia and blogs here. see also £

Chatgate • Around the time Julia quit the internet (March 2010), she engaged RBNS in the chatroom, and much was revealed. The unaltered chat transcript is here. Chatgate 2: The Reckoning took place on Oct. 14, 2010, here’s a recap.

cite/sight/site see Mary’s spelling

Clause-trophobia • (n.) A psychological state induced by exposure to the published writings or general grammatical stylings of Julia Allison; often characterized by rage, embarrassment, smug self-righteousness, and/or hopelessness. Coined by commenter ay yai yai. see also Cankleshausen Syndrome by Proxy

Coffee Art Project • An ambitious, abortive art project to photograph every coffee Julia drinks for a month. Sadly, only a single photo was taken.

Complimentary Grapefruit• Julia falsely claimed she worked for the Washington Post to get out of paying for a grapefruit at a hotel.

Corn on the cob • What Julia eats before fleeing (link).

Crashing Randi’s bachelorette party • Julia went to the “adorable, ineffable, indefatigable Randi’s bachelorette party” in Las Vegas (April 2008), though the two had only met the previous month at SXSW. Julia and Randi lipdubbed in matching bathing suits. Julia was not invited to the wedding.

Daddy Revenue / Dadsers • Peter Baugher, business litigator (Yale Law ’73 and Princeton ’70), and Julia’s dad. He is apparently going to sue the pants off RBNS, though he himself is the victim of privacy violations by his daughter, who has posted his voicemails (x2, and mom’s too!), emails, and picture (and more pics) on her blog. He is also politically active, which allowed Julia to get her foot in the door on Capitol Hill. The Chicago Tribune of Sept. 17 1972 profiled then-law student Peter V. Baugher under the headline “Nixon Aide’s Fringe Benefit: Eating Presidential Cakes”. Dadsers also gave some congressional testimony way back (scroll down to Biographical Information). You can see his latest (Jan 2011) legal threats to RBNS here.

Dancer’s bun • A simple up-do that is unusual for Julia, designed to make her appear refined (link).

Decimal dating • A skewed numeral system used by Julia Allison to count her dates with Harvard Harley: example “date 5.5 with Harvard Harley.”

Dr. BobbyBobby Buka MD is the dermatologist who is responsible for Julia’s lumpy face and Mary’s frozen face. He is featured in the documentary “Youth Knows No Pain” (see Expiration Date), and hangs out with Julia socially. Julia has used legalese to deny getting restylane injections, but we all know she is full of BS (and fillers).

Easter Slut Costume • A completely inappropriate, Blair Waldorf-esque ensemble worn by Julia to church in Chicago on Easter 2009. The outfit is documented in this video, head to toe desciption, and pic (note the contrast to Momsers’ conservative outfit). Julia also tweeted during the church service, as well as photographed it.

Exaggerbate • To massage the truth of one’s circumstances until climax is achieved. Example: Julia Allison is at home tonight, exaggerbating to thoughts of her 5.5 group hang-out sessions with Harvard Harley while wearing one of the gowns she borrowed for Monday’s fauxtoshoot.

Exes • (link, link) Cancer Dan (high school), James Fay (college), Jon (fiance), Alex Drosin, Michael Pryor, finger banger Dave Zinczenko, Jakob Lodwick (aka [redacted]), Kevin Rose, Charles Forman, Ben Leventhal, Harvard Harley, Jewish Writer, 6’5”, Code Name TK, Wild Card, Hipster Lawyer, Prom King, Tay Tay Greason, Pancakes McCain.

Expiration Date • In the HBO documentary “Youth Knows No Pain”, Julia claims that women have expiration dates (btw, it’s strange that she missed the premiere). She’s parroted the same thing before, though she’s also contradicted herself. In the TMI Weekly livestream of Aug. 6 2009 (partial transcript, see 16:48 onward), and in an email to a reader, Julia has tried to backpedal on her statement and frame the “expiration date” as a matter of fertility and menopause, instead of the deterioration of physical attractiveness and desirability.

Fat Melmans • Two dudes who own some restaurants and nightclubs; the source of lulz on RBNS; Julia Allison’s high school acquaintances. It’s questionable whether there are, in fact, two or only one Fat Melman brother. Here’s some discussion of the Melmans on RBNS. Commenter She’s Just Stupid is responsible for coining the ‘Fat Melman’ meme. Mentions of the Melmans on Julia’s blog.

Faux-ga • The Extended Camel Toe pose can be used to impress billionaire crushes.

Fauxtoshoot see Weekly vanity photoshoot, Podium Pose

Find a Man Roadshow • (link, link)

Fuck You Money • The money Julia Allison aspires to make, which will serve as a “fuck you” gesture to the Nick Dentons of the world. Julia filmed some clips for BigThink.com in Dec. 2008 and is listed as an “expert” on that site; the “fuck you money” clip is here. Here is a picture of the banality trio giving the world the finger as the fuck you money rolls in. see also Sausage Snappers

Gaping mawAn illustration of this phenomenon, compiled by commenter Can any of them close their mouths? Ever? see also Braying

Getting punched in the face by James’s sister • Julia dated James Fay (former drunk trustafarian* and Julia’s host on her July 2009 LA trip) in college, and when they broke up she allegedly ran off to do major damage on his credit card. Then James’s sister punched Julia. Girlfight! (Julia has a habit of not getting along with her boyfriends’ families.) *Watch the lulzy video of Julia and James’s conversation.

Google TOS violations/spam • Allegations that NonSociety has hidden keywords in their source code meant to drive more search traffic their way; see the posts on RBNS and Guest of a Guest, as well as Alana Joy’s coverage of the matter. Related: Google Sees Right Through Julia Allison

Granny MoneybagsMarilyn, Julia’s paternal grandmother and rumored trustfund source. Granny has not spoken to Momsers in 30 years, so Julia has to meet her at the Pancake House. Granny Baugher is the inspiration for Julia’s LIU wrist tattoo. She also did not like Julia’s Wired cover.

Green Vagina • The idea that Julia’s clam dungeon is unpleasant arose from a laser hair removal review she wrote on Lunch.com. The green vagina urban legend has since taken on a life of its own. “Plus, my skin is so light that even when I did shave (or wax) and managed to avoid ingrowns (which never happened), you could STILL see the dark hair in the follicles underneath the skin, creating an overall effect that could only be described as … greenish stubble.”

GriftcardGate • Suddenly dumped by Prom King and needing to get her tax payment on, Julia tried to sell some gift cards. These gift cards, for Armani Exchange, Sephora, and other retailers, were given to Julia for free by shill-master Izea so that she could distribute them as contest prizes. No contest winners were ever announced; Julia used a fraction of the gift card amounts for personal purchases, then tried to sell them for close to face value to make a quick buck. Way to seem like a shady grifter and screw your sponsors in the process. See the RBNS posts here and here.

Harvard Business Schoolsee Unfulfilled Proclamations

Harvard Harley • Brendan Brogan, a Harley-riding (actually Vespa) Harvard graduate that Julia obsessed over and decimal dated in May/June 2009. They met on a blind date. The last we heard of him, he was in British Columbia.

“Haven’t packed yet” • Usually presented as a question (“Ask if I’ve finished packing. No, really. Ask.”), this is another one of Julia’s peculiar traits that she thinks makes her cute and quirky. She usually posts or tweets it hours (sometimes minutes) before she’s supposed to board a plane. Exhibit A, Exhibit B. This bit of insanity is usually followed a few days later by photos of Lilly in her suitcase. Exhibit C, Exhibit D.

Hee-Hawsenberg Uncertainty Principle • (uncertainty in how Donkey will act in the future) * (uncertainty in public predictions of how Donkey will act) >= (the Donk Constant) / (4 pies or other glutinous treats Donkey will consume). Coined by commenter Tremendous Liar; Donkey of Repugnance.

Hideous Nails & Inane Notes • Julia Allison has a habit of taking photos of her latest manicure (exhibits A, B, C, D, E, etc.), and her bonkers “look how smart I am” note-taking in the margins of books, at lectures that are beyond her comprehension, analysis of newspaper or magazine articles, or random lists showcasing her inner crazy (“Things I Like: Colors (bright), rainbows“). More recent displays of nasty nails and overzealous underlining.

Houston’s • A touristy chain restaurant in New York City that sells overpriced hamburgers. It is also Julia’s favorite restaurant (as well as one of only four restaurants she knows of in New York) where she frequently orders the $14 poofy-enhancing veggie burger.

Horizontal scrolling • This complicated navigation method (the wave of the future online, apparently!) has been the default at NonSociety from the start, all the way through current version 2.0. It is universally disliked for its user-unfriendliness. An anonymous commenter best encapsulates the insanity of HorScroll here.

Indiana University, freshman year • A chapter in Julia’s life that might have been lost to time, were it not for the internet. It is documented briefly here, alluded to by Julia, and finally acknowledged by her at the very end of the the TMI Weekly livestream (see transcript/comments here). See Julia’s writing for the Indiana Daily Student here and here.

Ineffable see Ridiculously Ineffable

Is If The Internet is Female?see Meghanisms

“I’ve never had anything injected into my forehead or cheeks.” • (link) Julia only sees Dr. Bobby for her acne, right? (Update: Julia admits to Botox and Restylane.) see also Legalese

Julia’s misadventures • There are many. See Gawker’s list of the top 25 Julia moments.

Jackles, Jankles, Jowlia, Joolia, Droolia, Yulia, Foolia, Jowlia, Julverine, Our Lady of Introspection, Pink Lady, Jaba/Jabba the Butt, Shamulia, SHAMoolia, Jill from LIU, Mulia Mallison • A rose by any other name would smell as stanky.

Jordache JeansJordan Berkow, Julia’s girl-crush extraordinaire and object of obsession since June 2009. A Harvard grad married to a Yalie (who’s in a rock band!), she has a tattoo and a shih-tzu, too! Julia met Jordan through Harvard Harley. Jordache and her wonk eye joined NonSociety (Sept. 2009) as the first new contributor since Mary’s departure, and left in March 2010.

Kissy Face, Donkey Bray and Blowing Kisses • The signature fauxtoshoot poses. A catalogue of kissy face poses.

Kitchen Cupboard Tampon Storage • At the 40 second mark of this video, Julia shows us that living differently means storing your tampons above your fridge (from Julia’s apartment tour, Aug. 2009).

Krystal KahlerNonSociety CEO and “Mary” in Danish.

Let It UnfoldA saying by Granny Moneybags; Julia’s has the letters LIU tattooed on her left wrist.

Long Island University • Since MIT doesn’t grant honorary degrees, Julia had to settle for tattooing the initials of a junior college on her wrist.

MacBook Air • See item #7 here. Baugher said it best: “[Julia] begged her ex-boyfriend to buy her a laptop, downplayed the impact of publicly disclosing his confidences, then accused HIM of playing the victim.” (Julia later apologized.)

Mark KirkIllinois senator, former Congressman, Baugher family friend. Julia Allison worked for then Rep. Kirk on Capitol Hill after her failed year at Indiana U. Julia describes herself as liberal, yet flew cross-country to vote for Republican Kirk (she calls him a “Republican in name only”). Kirk is divorced (Julia was maid of honor at his wedding) and rumored to be gay.

Mary’s spelling • It grates. //forthcoming//

Meghanisms • Wisdom from a “geekette”. //forthcoming//

Meghannaise • Also known as the Invisible Solid and “Money Shot” Asha. A trust fund child from Los Altos Hills, CA, Meghan apparently graduated from USC despite appearing to be completely ESL. Her father is Mihir Parikh and her mother is Nancy, often referred to as Snowflake. Her sister is fellow fameballer Elizabeth Shayala Parikh. Meghan has a NoHo condo that she has been redecorating for a long time; her “boudoir” was finally completed after some poor fools agreed to sponsor the interior decoration and furniture. She used to run marathons and is the victim of a persistent “tech curse”. Apparently no longer a (tech) blogger, Meghan has re-emerged as a designer of convertible leather scarves.

Mom’s special • A vomitous blend of frozen spinach, guacamole, salsa, cranberries, and collard greens invented by Julia’s mom. It is described by Julia in this video; check out the comments for additional disgusting ingredients listed by Rachel Billow.

Momsers • Robin Baugher (née Stickney), Stanford class of ’73, former Nixon speechwriter and Julia’s mother. She has been Julia’s behind-the-scenes editor, is a size 6, and has passed on her food issues to Julia. Momsers is active in philanthropy and her church. Though they are kindred spirits, sometimes Julia has gone for long periods without speaking to her mom.

My High School Debate Partner • Judy, a Columbia law student whom Julia always refers to as her “high school debate partner”. Julia and Judy were supposed to move in together in Fall 2009, but that fell through. Some more random info on Judy. Julia gave Judy a pass to a fashion show, probably so she could be lazy and shirk her responsibilities.

NonSociety • A rundown of your irregularly scheduled lifecasters, including the original Banality Trio, and the five 8 ladies who have since joined run screaming into the night, plus one gay and one straight other dude. //forthcoming//

Parents’ Downtown Condo • Did you hear, Julia’s parents have a condo in downtown Chicago? Surely you must be aware, after all the tweets and blog posts. Yet another example of Julia using her parents’ achievements and wealth to bolster her status. Commenter rage on the issue ensues. Julia is currently crashing at the condo, paying her parents nominal rent. In addition to the condo, the Baughers own two neighboring homes on the Lake Michigan shore in Wilmette.

Plagiarism • See Mediabistro’s profile of Julia, Julia’s response to allegations at Georgetown’s blog and on Gawker (multiple mentions), and this piece at Big Head DC. Julia has also repurposed her own work.

Podium PosePosing for fake pictures in front of a lectern at MIT to make it appear as if you addressed a very important audience (link). (In fact, this audience was a student pizza club.)

Post Donkmatic Stress Disorder • Dealing with the emotional trauma and fallout after escaping the clutches of Julia. Recent victims of PDSD include Jordan Reid Berkow and Mary Rambin. Coined by commenter Princess WideStance. Additional risk factors for PDSD (from Donkeys Have Expiration Dates): Moderate levels of fame and/or wealth, being too nice to tell donkeys to STFU, employment in the tech industry. Symptoms: Tinnitus, Cankleshausen by Proxy, bankruptcy due to Donkey-related financial strain, being deluged with spurious legal letters, facial tics, frequent repetition of phrases such as “Why didn’t I notice her hooves until it was too late?”. Indicated treatments: Participation in Reblogging Donk therapy center, changing/deleting all phone numbers and social networking handles to avoid future Donkey-induced trauma. Contraindications: donkey rides.

Pottery Barn (for kids/teens) • Just read through this list to see evidence that most of Julia’s apartment decoration and gift-giving are centered around Pottery Barn products. see also Pretty Pink Pony Palace.

Pretty Pink Pony PalaceJulia’s old NYC apartment, also known as the Flaccidizer due to the abundance of pink and tutus. Julia has taken a cue from RBNS and started referring to her apartment as the pink palace. The apartment is a cramped studio, but can always fit in a motley array of douchebags if need be. The apartment was on the market for $479,000 (350 West 53rd Street #6B, link, link), and has now been sold. The Pink Palace was profiled on AOL’s ShelterPop over two months after Julia had moved out.

Prom KingJustin Weitz, one of Julia’s over-the-top codenamed flings. He took her on extravagant dates (prom + limo, skydiving in Miami, Central Park carriage ride, Rockettes Christmas extravaganza, Valentine’s Day, with yet another limo and frilly dresses), and in Feb. ’10, Julia proclaimed she had a boyfriend. Prom King apparently paid (“surprise gift”) for all of NonSociety to go to St. Barths (staying on PK’s family yacht) and Aspen (staying at his family’s place). She met his folks, but wasn’t in love with him, brayed about getting married, then was in love with him, but things went south. Julia seemed to be living with PK when the Pink Palace was for sale, but then she moved back to her apartment. Additional pictures of Prom King.

Rambo • A vapid former handbag designer from Houston.

Read Tori Spelling’s book on the plane • On her sad appearance on Chelsea Lately (June 2008), Julia claimed she read sTORItelling on the flight to LA; she was, in fact, asleep the whole trip. Ugh.

Reblogging NonSociety (RBNS) • The website that has parsed Julia Allison and NonSociety since January 2009, first on tumblr, then Blogger, WordPress.com, and now on its own site (as Reblogging Donk). A list of RBNS-related pages, including best-of comments and posts, is here forthcoming, as is the list of RBNS predecessor and spin-off blogs. see also Angry, Sort of Sad Adults.

Returning freebies for cashsee GriftcardGate

Rosie O’Donnell • Rosie has many homes, one of which happens to be in Julia’s old building in NYC. Of course Julia’s tried to hobnob with her, but Rosie is not in very often, and is not neighborly towards donkeys. Julia’s two middle names are “Tact” and “Discretion”, so she tweeted about a screaming match between Rosie and her wife. More bad press for Julia. It’s worrisome that Julia also mistook Rosie’s SUV for a cab.

Roombasee Meghanisms

SAT Word Tourette Syndrome • Julia suffers from this condition, marked by outbursts of “Word of the Day” vocabulary builders such as “sartorial levity” and “apropos”. SWTS may be comorbid with CSbP. Coined by commenter Julia’s Fat Ass. see also Ridiculously Ineffable.

Shifting Paradigms • Julia periodically experiences epiphanies, manic bouts of clarity/happiness/zen, and tries to reinvent herself (plus she has a solution for the woes of journalism (hint: it involves paradigm shifts!)). She also thinks dying her hair constitutes a major life change. In 2010, visits to an ashram in upstate New York joined Julia’s paradigm shifting repertoire.

Six word memoirs • (link)

Tearing up at everythingAt the ballet, on her blog (link, link, link, link, link), at acupuncture.

The [insert overused adjective] [insert name here]Ridiculously Ineffable and retardedly illiterate //forthcoming//

Unfulfilled Proclamations • Harvard Business School, New Year’s Resolutions, Taking care of Cancer Dan, Moving in with roommate, etc. More discussion of these on this RBNS post.

Weekly vanity photoshoot • Part of Julia’s “job” is staging a continuous stream of photoshoots. During her tenure at Time Out NY, shoots were a weekly affair (sometimes mistaken for low-budget porn!), but even since being fired Julia has kept up the pace (birthday shoot, red-head romper whore shoot, defiling NY public library shoot). Girl’s gotta have new headshots after each visit to Dr. Bobby! Meghan has also branched out into photoshoots (her calling!) for her shilltastic sponsor (seems this earlier shoot was too crappy to use for shilling). Mary has taken part in her share of photoshoots, but also schooled Julia on the “selfish, tacky” nature of impromptu shoots. PS. Couldn’t leave out this little gem.

Wheels up!/Wheels down! • Tweets frequently sent by Julia Allison when she is traveling. Behold this example. Here is a tweet of the “wheels down” variety. And another insufferable one. Commenter NewtoLife! defines “Wheels up!” as “twittering from your iPhone when the plane is already in the air, despite FAA regulations outlawing this behavior”. Pelts to the No adds: “Don’t forget that “wheels up” is stolen from The West Wing, where it was used to describe the whereabouts of POTUS while on Air Force One. Julia Baugher is Just. That. Important.”

“WHO DOES THAT?!” • A rhetorical question posed by Julia after she has described some inane action or impulse of hers (such as wondering if she should tweet that she accidentally wore her headband in the shower) to indicate to her vast audience how quirky and weird and original and adorable she is. A recent indignant use of “Who does that?” can be found in this rant.

Women have an expiration datesee Expiration Date

YSLs bought by fans • After tweeting about Yves Saint Laurent shoes that were beyond her means, Julia announced that a “fan” was actually purchasing them for her. Mary has also been the recipient of fan-bought shoes and a bag.


These terms need definitions!

  • Bobby Pin Mullet
  • Bray for Pay
  • Brayge
  • Bunnies
  • Calling everybody “dude”
  • Carrie Bradshaw 2.0
  • CES
  • Claiming she has stalkers
  • Code Name TK
  • Colonics
  • Condom Fairy
  • Could have been an Obama speechwriter
  • Crowdsourcing
  • Cupcankles
  • Custodian of her memories
  • Dandelion Tea
  • Date rape
  • Davos
  • Disappearing BFFs (Randi Z., Shira Lazar, Courtney Friel, Caroline McCarthy…)
  • Disclosure
  • “Don’t read into it!” and “Don’t over-analyze it!”
  • DOPAMINE!
  • Egoblogger
  • En route to…
  • Facebook Friend/FanGate
  • Fanboys (Loren, Milo Y., Paul Carr, David Karp, Dave Morin, Chaz)
  • Fashion Week Umbrellas
  • Fauxtographer
  • Filthy Jumper
  • Fishing for Freebies
  • Freshwater pearls
  • “Gawker is ruining my life”
  • Georgetown
  • Getting sponsored Smart car towed aka “I parked in a legal spot”
  • Girl-crush
  • *grin* :)
  • “Hells to the no”
  • “HERE’S THE THING, HERE’S THE THING!”
  • Hipcheck (from Becoming Julia Allison)
  • Honkbray
  • “I have a talk show on NBC”
  • I Just Say
  • “I’m an artist!”
  • “I’m a journalist”
  • “I’m a media personality”
  • “I’m not random!”
  • “I never drink”
  • Insomniac Confessions Video
  • Internet Think Tank
  • Interns
  • Izea
  • Jabberstalky
  • Jewish Writer
  • Kevin Rose
  • Lake Michigan Spring Break
  • Legalese
  • Liecast
  • Lilly Shit
  • Living differently
  • Mary’s homelessness
  • Massaging the truth
  • Megan Lasagna
  • Midol High
  • Miss [insert name here]
  • My Friend David Karp
  • New Year’s Resolutions
  • Orange Arches of Doom
  • Othering
  • Paultato
  • Peltergeist
  • Pelts
  • Per usual
  • Pink Padded Cell
  • Poofy
  • Poor. Punctuation. For. Emphasis.
  • Putting a hashtag on dumbass phrases on Twitter (#OuchOuchExerciseHurts, etc.)
  • QotD
  • “Reader” emails
  • Sausage Snappers
  • Save Lilly!
  • Seaworld shilling
  • Spackled on Makeup
  • Spartacus
  • The Hair
  • The Little Mermaid
  • The Shoes
  • The Skirt Pull
  • Throwing in the Slanket
  • TMI Weekly
  • Um, er, oops?
  • Unhealthy addiction to gingham
  • Wangs
  • Wedding dress
  • Werewolf
  • Wonk eye
  • Yay.com!

12 Responses to Glossary

  1. mcakes: Taste the passion! says:

    I need a Hipster Lawyer definition. I wasn’t around for that stage, and I kind of missed how HL = dad$er came about.

  2. KrakenSkulls says:

    *grin* :)

    Julia does this in a tweet (often without any text) when she has recently fucked somebody with her vagina. That or she is feeling ultra crazy and sarcastic. See also: wink ;)

  3. “Don’t read into it!” and “Don’t over-analyze it!” says:

    Typical donkey talk for “Whatever I said that wasn’t popular or disagrees with the truth, ignore that” Basically a stupid fucking way to get out of getting caught in a bald-faced lie.

  4. Legalese says:

    Legalese is Donkey’s main defense against the truth. Being the daughter of a lawyer, she has learned that as long as what you say can SLIGHTLY be tweaked to mean something else, it is THE TRUTH and will hold up in court. Examples will be of use here:

    ex: “I never called Jack about being a thundercunt and reading his emails.”
    Truth: She communicated via email, semaphore, skype, tin cans with strings, twitter, facebook, direct voice, a note pinned to a door with a knife blade. Also, she may have actually called him, but not ever said the WORD “thundercunt” and “reading his emails”.

    Basically she is being a slimy ass bitch and avoiding the basic question. It’s sickening and exhausting and this is how she goes through life.

  5. Bunnies says:

    I need an explanation for this origin. I assume she called RBNS this once and it stuck?

  6. Brayge says:

    A combination of Bray and Rage, Brayge is felt by a reader when Donkey does something so annoying you could punch a baby. Brayge never refers to Julia being angry, simply the poor plight of those reading her drivel and reacting. Usually this word is reserved for EXTREME posts where a reader snaps and says something out of character because of their heightened emotional state; i.e. a button was pushed.

    Brayge is closely related to “Cankleshausen Syndrome by Proxy”, as it is an emotion experienced by a reader in response to Donkey’s actions.

  7. Request for Origins! says:

    site/cite/sight
    poofy
    i’m guessing it’s biology

  8. Donk-a-dee-donk says:

    When and how did Señor Jack receive the honour of being forever known as Pancakes?

    • Greg says:

      Greg would like to know this as well. Greg sees everything but shit, there’s a lot to see and sometimes Greg misses tiny, cute details or gets distracted by the shiny.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

        Julia posted a trophy photo of Jack at what she calls the “world famous” Pancake House in Wilmette. He had a plate of pancakes in front of him and another plate of pancakes on the side.

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