I Dream Of Donkey With The Bright Red Hair

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Monday chuckles. Our burro back in the bray. Most of these fauxtos have never been on RBNS or RBD.

54 COMMENTS

  1. Wasn’t she a redhead twice? The first time was when she was trying to be “edgy” to snag Harvard Harley, and the second was a few years later for Miss Advised so that the show wouldn’t have two brunettes.

    • Yep. These fauxtos are from 2009, when the fright hair looked like it belonged to Cookie the Clown and she was salivating over Harvard Harley and Toph Eggers. The Mess Despised dye job was far more subdued.

      • It might be, but it does make some sense given that the producers wanted Toilet Julia to go by “JP” so that there wouldn’t be two Julias on the show.

        • Well, but two of the same names would be more confusing than two women with the same hair color. I don’t see Bravo requiring hair color equality on any of their other shows. I still think it was Donkey’s idea because it would make her stand out more and (in her mind) make her sexier, and she pitched the reason for it as “Oh, we can’t have two brunettes, it will be too confusing.” Scheme juices.

  2. fat melman!

    man, jordan has had work done too, right? Or fillers / botox have changed her face somewhat?

    • She can still do handstands and cartwheels on the beach! BECAUSE SHE CAN AND EVEN DOES EVEN THOUGH IT IS WINTER BUT NOT WHERE SHE IS LIVING THE CAREFREE LIFE OF BLOGGING AND BEACHING AND SHIT

  3. She looks like the product of a one-night stand between Michael Jackson and Ronald McDonald, styled by Phoebe Price.

    She has LITERALLY never looked cool or relevant or stylish.

    • Some of the layered cuts with this color were pretty, but then she almost always reverts back to the severe pulled back bobby pin mullet, dancers buns, and sausage curl styles with extensions she wore years ago. I remember back when she was doing the Star thing, she got a layered cut that looked great, but all she did was bitch about it being the worst cut she’d ever gotten. She truly has no idea what to wear for her figure or how to fix her hair in a flattering way.

    • OMG, I had forgotten about Feebs! What’s Ol’ Chicken Cutlets up to, anyway?

  4. Just in case you need some practical words of advice to kick off your week, Sacha The Feathered One posted this on Facebook.

    “As Hermes never tires of telling us, over and over, over and over; the One thing and the One mind are One. He means that mind and body, Soul and Spirit, male and female, positive and negative, Above and Below, are all One. All sexes, all races, all species, all life is One. All life, all death; all heroes, all villains; all angels, all demons; all gods, all devils are One. Unless you find the One Presence within you, you cannot escape the illusory theater of duality, even for an instant.”

    • In case it’s not clear, Sacha’s post following this nugget of wisdom reads, “Re-member All is One:)“

      Hey, maybe cut down on the aya and cacao, buddy? Just a bit?

        • speaking of such sisters and letters, no vwls and beaver 3 months handfast is nigh and done, no update at the Super Cous Cous Super Moon circle she held?

          • No time to discuss that commitment container, bunny! Noodles is preoccupied with a Hay House ho, Doreen Virtue (not her real name), who became a Christian and is trashing the woos and “new age” horseshit, telling folks to stay away from sweat houses. Nisha won’t stand for this “toxic cocktail” that disrespects indigenous peoples! Madame Couscous ends her indignant FB post with a shill for Meggan Jane Watterson’s “Goddess Guidance Cards.”

            How anyone ever gave this asshat a pass is beyond me.

  5. Jena posted she was heading to NY. Sacha posted he was IN NY (which I doubt). If they were both in NY, WHERE ARE THE FAUXTOS????

  6. second to bottom photo with stripper shoes and lilly against the cyclo wall: could someone please remind me what the purpose of this self-promo shoot was again?

      • it is incredible how much time she has spent having useless photo shoots. Even her latest persona, Junior League wannabe, and future wife to Dad Bod, has had lots of photos taken by a third party. It seems pricey and it seems pointless, beyond scratching a famewhore itch for her. I don’t know.

        • It’s pure narcissism and vanity. There really is no reason for it other than self-aggrandizement. It’s Phoebe Price, it’s Welcome to Me, it’s most of those sad creatures on the Bravo Housewives shows.

      • gonna take more than the little beauty dish flash on the right to make her look beautiful.

        i guess this was a practice jump, for the benefit of taking a “behind the scenes” shot – the camera is sitting on the chair in the front of the shot.

    • Same fauxto-shoot where Donkey (in same rayon mini-romper and hooker heels) pops a squat in the most disturbing fashion, like the First Girl in a slasher movie who wandered off into the woods to relieve herself. Also same shoot where she brandishes unlit cigarette in a sultry manner. “Edgy” Donkey was one of her most risible iterations to date.

    • I was just going to WTF over that picture. She looks like she’s 200 ft tall AND weighs 120,000 tons AND is just about to eat Tokyo.

      And poor, poor Lilly (pbuh).

      It’s all so horrible.

  7. I’m truly perplexed why she seems to indicate that not having a boyfriend is a prerequisite or at least a good reason to get her hair dyed.

  8. Dear God I forgot about Jordan Reid….the sister that only lasted one year. It’s so crazy to think how much her life has gone up since leaving Donkey back in 2009…she’s now a mom of two living the Cali dream and still being an influencer…Donk pathetically still wallet chasing in a Coobie.

    • She’s an “influencer”? Well, I guess if pimping your kid out in Red Baron frozen pizza ads constitutes influence, ol’ Jordo is indeed making her mark on the world.

      • JFAing myself to add that if “living the Cali dream” consists of not being able to afford preschool for your kid because you’ve chosen to live next door to the Kartrashians, Jordo is winning!

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