Oh, Happy Bray! Devin Stetler Is Reportedly Married & Expanding His Weed Business

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A tipster insists Devin Stetler, Donkey’s “base model” and “healing chef,” is now married. We’re waiting on confirmation. But if our Debbie really has tied the knot, is this the lucky lady? Feel free to research!

Riverbank’s marijuana king is also expanding his business, now growing weed in addition to dispensing it. Unlike the woo grifters, Devin is actually a successful entrepreneur. He has also removed his modeling portfolio – not the image Tony Montana now wishes to project? But don’t panic: we’ve saved those snaps!

Note to Alex Marson: There is life after Julie Albertson and it tends to be a better life. Just ask Devin, David Block, Pancakes McCain, Eater Guy, OMG Alex, Cancer-Free Dan, [REDACTED], etc.

Bottom Videos! Misty water-colored memories of the way we were …

56 COMMENTS

  1. PS, If I wanted to get OMGMARRIED!!!!, I would just steer the man I loved into the arms of a donkey, so he could come running back to me.

    • Would you really want a man who’s been inside the Donkey?

  2. The montage!!!! THE BEST!

    Remember when Debbie (with softness) had 3 shaky Pizza Hut Tables and 1 chair? And Air Bnb’d his OMGDOWNTOWNAPARTMENT and people complained of feces in the hallway? It’s all coming back to me now.

      • I still crack up when underwear guy lifts him because it reminds me of Jennifer Grey jumping into Patrick Swayze’s arms during one of the endless dance scenes in Dirty Dancing. The guy in the undies grabbing his ass is just a bonus. (and maybe a boner or 2)

  3. Did you make the (Custodian Of Their) Memories video, Gilly? I was eating a biscuit when the hammock photo appeared. I’d forgotten about it, and when I saw those hairy legs I spit a bit of biscuit on my cat’s head.

  4. OT to Hroswitha: Thanks for giving my new avatar some love. It was hard to give up the JABA fire eating photo, but every time I use my google account to register for something it shows up. Last week it appeared when I downloaded the Live Like A Stoic Week handbooks, and when I updated my account on academia.edu, after getting a notification my name had been mentioned in 23 academic projects. I know only I find that hilarious, but after thinking about it a couple days I was like, nah, let’s don’t, Handbag.

    • But of course. And like Gilly said, I have a feeling that our worlds might intersect more than I previously imagined. I haven’t been on academia.edu as much as I should have been lately; it would have been truly fantastic to see the Jaba fire picture there.

      I was searching for an old article the other day and found a bunch of (new to me) citations to things I had previously written on Google Scholar. It’s still a strangely uncomfortable feeling for me, and I’m not totally sure why.

    • I was wondering why the avatar change because fire-eating donkey face is just so freaking epic. But I know now, and this makes sense. It must have confused some of your colleagues.

  5. Truthfully, she might do well to write the BOOK “My Life As A Wife Fluffer”; it would be an honest account. But GD’it!!!, she would shoe horn the happily-ever-after in (with Dodie) at the end and destroy her whole story arc to give it the Carrie Bradshaw ending she has never, ever discarded (even though she claims she’s Woo).

    • Her “wife fluffer” act is BORING. She’s been talking about it for at least a decade:
      2008:
      https://guestofaguest.com/new-york/julia-allison/julia-allisons-brilliant-new-dating-service-has-80-success-rate

      2010:
      http://juliaallisonarticles.tumblr.com/post/316058220/the-wife-fluffer-cosmopolitan-january-2010-by

      2012:
      http://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/julia-allison-on-being-the-wife-fluffer

      Even if she ultimately learns from this, who would want to take advice from someone who took more than a decade to learn?

      Also I seem to remember some [failed?] attempts at taking other people’s boyfriends, fiances, husbands…

    • Like many other things, that might be interesting and fun if she 1) could write, and 2) evered the learn button, and we all know that’s not going to happen. I only clicked the last link provided by Reasonable Woman and it sure is hilarious how Donk “ponders” “was I such a horrible girlfriend….” YES WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ASK AFTER IT HAPPENED 87 TIMES ALREADY? But we know she doesn’t actually “ponder” shit and most likely believes the reason this keeps happening is that she was too much of a Goddess for all those masculines who were intimidated by her beauty and intellect in the end, or something along those lines.

      • 3) She doesn’t have the discipline or work ethic to write an article in a timely manner, let alone a book.

        4) She’d trash her exes’ new loves and cause millions of headaches for a publisher’s legal department

        • All of this too, of course.

          OT, but not entirely (this is never quite OT, I believe): could someone who knows their way around the archives better than I do be a total bunny and point me toward the time / post when Donkey preached about resumés being outdated and things being all about bios now? There was something about how she likes to “purposefully take months-long gaps between projects” too. I’m sure someone remembers it. TIA and lots of love and light!

          • Thank you, SS, you’re a dear, and a great custodian!

            I enjoy that thread partly for entertainment, partly because, and I totally forgot about that, I bragged about my vintage compacts and posted some pics there, and partly because, and I also forgot that, the thread contains some solid desk-erranding-searching advice and I am currently at the stage of looking around.

          • Helena, are you looking for a dish-towel friendly environment? Are you leaving your sooper sekret foreign agent job? I’m sure someone will snap you up quickly as soon as you express interest. Just tell them that Billy Idol once bought you bracelets!

            Best of luck with the search you gorgeous chocolate goddess!

          • Thanks, Nos. Yeah, the dish towel and all it represents has been building up for a long time to a point where it becomes unbearable. I’m actually determined to leave by the end of February whether or not I find something new by then.

            I’m also planning a trip to Japan for late March / early April (cherry blossoms time), so it might be best if I don’t find something awesome that would require me to start the new desk-erranding gig right away. Purposeful months-long breaks between projects, bunny!

    • I can’t see a marriage to Dodi (if it even happens, and times ticking IMO) as a Carrie Bradshaw ending. Dodi isn’t rich, can’t wine and dine her, doesn’t have better alternatives, isn’t good looking, and is a lab scientist. I don’t care that he has his own lab; he lacks any domineering traits.

      With Dodi, she’d be settling down with a guy who is a lot like her father or brother… even her grandfathers, from what we know about them. Nothing wrong with that other than the fact it took her 2 decades post-HS to accept it. Dodi is about saving face more than anything else. There’s no way she’s actually attracted to him. At least with him she’s not rebelling against get parents’ expectations. The real question is, if you’re his parents, you have to be thinking WTF.

      I don’t know if Dodis parents are self made or if they inherited themselves, but as a parent I would be so disappointed to know what I built could end up being taken by someone like Julia. Of course I have a long way to go and of course I don’t think you can dictate who your kids marry, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with preventing your kid from getting scammed.

      • You underestimate his future earning potential with the connections he has, who are salivating at the chance to make money from his discoveries. Look at who is investing in him. He is considered a rising rock star in a very hot scientific field.

        Also, he gets invited to speak all over the world, so he can wine and dine her, and on someone else’s dime. She’s already been to China and Switzerland as his guest.

        His parents are highly educated and his father is a major NYC architect.

        I agree with some of what you say, but you are selling him short as far as his earning potential and status.

        • Hmm I guess I didn’t look into Dodo’s details because I’m an asshole and my version of Occam’s razor. If you’re a 40 year old and you’re educated and work hard and Julia is the best you can do… there’s something wrong with you. So maybe his parents can’t do anything.

          • Again, Dodi was allegedly dating strippers prior to dating A Donkey and his original IG page appeared as though it belonged to a 16-year-old boy. I doubt he has much self-confidence around women, so perhaps being love bombed by a former(?) celebutard is making him giddy. Julia may have indeed hit pay dirt.

          • Once the honeymoon period is over with these two, we’ll see how much staying power is there on both sides. We’re assuming he wants to settle down because that’s how she’s framing it.

      • JFAing to add one more thing: “I don’t care that he has his own lab; he lacks any domineering traits.”

        If you look at Donkey’s history, her so-called masculine energy (her need to control and manipulate and change a guy) has worked best with a more subservient partner, for instance, like Derpin here. Someone more like her doormat father. Derpin had none of the traits you hold up as key, particularly financial, but yet she was desperate to marry him at one point. A guy with more assertive traits is more likely to push back against her need to control-freak the relationship. Dodi seems passive to me but I do see him pushing back (or just ghosting her) if she tries to fuck with his career.

        • This. Donks has always been looking for a rich adoring pushover, not a guy with any “domineering traits.” You (AFF, for example) may say that richy rich guys tend to be more dominant, and you may be right to an extent, but that doesn’t cancel Donk’s desire to have a guy who “won’t throw a massive fit when I want him to be on TV with me,” i.e. who will pick her up for lots and lots of non-photoshopped fauxtos, frequently post serenades to her beauty for the internet to see, pay for everything and lots of it (OF COURSE), and generally let her art-direct “their” life.

    • But that feeling quickly departs because your dead dog sent you OMG! a research scientist who flies your raft ass around the world in 80 brays!

  6. We’ll always have Tahoe, Debbois. And the memories of your Brussels Sprouts à la Terre.

    Mazel tov to him, though. I’m sure The Donkey Years are but a horrible dream to him now.

  7. If Dodi was smart, he would reach out to Devin… it must be easy to think we’re all sad, jealous haters… until he speaks to an ex.

      • And let’s not forget (but at the same time, let’s not SEE!) the nude pics she allegedly continued to send to Debbin long after they consciously uncoupled, he had a girlfriend, AND she was already with (or “with,” whatever) Rain.

  8. OT: When cataloging the 2009 posts, I stumbled across Donkey’s NonSociety entries re: attendance at her five-year Georgetown reunion. She had the gall to include a picture of Wisemiller’s Deli & Convenience Store, from which she was thrown out and banned after putting candy bars in her dog satchel! The caption reads: “Nothing in the world is quite as good as a Wisey’s egg & cheese croissant.” Or stolen merchandise, eh, Donk?

    http://juliaallison.tumblr.com/page/365

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