Updated: Spend A Bloody Sunday With Nisha Moodley At Her Magical Home In The Clouds – Only $277!

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When she’s not providing tips on the care of uncircumcised males, our Noodles is busy hosting “intimate gatherings” for womxn and non-binary folk. Hey, even a woo goddess has to pay the mortgage! The latest con job offering:

A few days ago, I shared a bit about our journey of finding our home. ⁣

One of the elements of my vision was a gathering space for womxn. A lush, plush space that would have us feel like we’re floating on a cloudy – pinky hues, and the art of my ancestors.⁣

𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦.⁣

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴, 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦.⁣

In a few weeks, on the Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse, I’m hosting an intimate gathering in my home.⁣

The sky will be putting on a spectacular show, and this is our opportunity to speak our desires under the fullness of the moon, and exhale what is ready to be released. And as always, we get to experience the profound joy of doing it together.⁣

This is a longer event than usual & there are just 10 spaces available.⁣

𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐋𝐄⁣
𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ● 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 ● 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 ● 𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 ● 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐥𝐞 ● 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫⁣

𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝐭𝐡⁣
𝟐-𝟏𝟎𝐩𝐦 | 𝟏𝟎 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞⁣

Join me at my home in Mill Valley, California, for an intimate gathering.⁣

We’ll stretch out in our time together… We’ll circle together and explore our visions for this year, go for a short local hike, do a beautiful ritual, experience a healing breathwork practice, and enjoy a simple and healthy dinner together. We’ll end the evening sitting around the fire under the Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse!⁣

All womxn and non-binary folks welcome.⁣

$277⁣
Register here: bit.ly/lunareclipsecircle

Are Noah No Vowels and CROOOOOW! banished to a tree fort during the Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse? Speaking of No Vowels, how’s that three-month commitment container working out with less than two weeks to go? Take it away, Noodles!

A few days ago, Noah and I went on either the best or worst date ever, depending on how you look at it.

We argued about some ridiculous thing in the car, then spent the rest of our time together processing. 😑

It sucked and was also beautiful, because in the end, we let it all out, talked through our frustrations and desires, and created some new agreements.

We returned home exhausted and clear-eyed. We hugged tenderly and laughed in the kitchen, then Noah had to pack for his flight the next morning.

The next day, I was working from Noah’s desk. I opened the drawer to find a pen and found these photos.

This is the Noah I met 3 years ago. Sweet and joyful. Wildly optimistic and adventurous.
And he’s still all of those things. But parenthood and all that’s come with it has grown us up, made us too busy, and honestly has made us both f*ing cranky sometimes.

When I saw these photos, I was flooded with warmth and sweetness.

Some things are so easeful. But for the two of us — kids with divorced parents, thrust into parenthood by surprise, feeling a bit bedraggled from early-years parenting — partnership is a crucible. We fall, we learn, we adapt, we dance, we fall again, we make up. We’re learning how to be in a healthy partnership, every damn day.

#learninghowtodothisthing
#everythingisntalwayseasy
#realisbeautiful
#consciousconflictftw

Best of luck, you crazy kids! And please don’t dwell on how those crucibles turned out for Mulia Mallison, whether relationship or BOOK.

Bottom Picture! Donk has updated her FB bio:

Update: In case anyone missed it, Dodi and Donkey are OMG in love!

106 COMMENTS

  1. So she’s still fighting with him and going through his things.

    Hi sisters pay me to visit my home. How preposterous is this….

    Sister can you at least spare a Bowl of quinoa or cacao?

    • For only $277 you too can experience healing breathwork while sitting around the fire during the Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse!⁣

      If I only have $40 to spare, would Noodles be willing to give me a cup of cacao? I could sip my healing brew at the back door, no need to interrupt the sacred blood ritual.

      • Seriously, what the hell? Here sister friends, please come to my party where we will sit in a circle on the floor with some flower petals thrown on it, and take some deep breaths, walk around on public land and look at the moonlight and then I’ll make dinner.

        Oh, and sisters, it’s only $277. Bring cash. And at the end of the year, I get to deduct part of my rent money and expenses for the party because Tim Ferrett taught me I could call this a business.

        How she can live with herself, I don’t even know. I wonder where she keeps finding new marks.

        • Moldy flokati branching out into new frontiers.

          I say this every damn time, but I can smell it through the photo.

          • That’s why she calls out that it’s going to be “simple”. I’m surprised she’s not having them forage for their dinner while hiking. Less overhead=moar profit!

        • The sisters/marks have to sit on the floor on that disgusting rug while Noodles lords it over them sitting in the throne chair.
          Much evolved, so consciousness, many egalitarian.

  2. donk’s choice of profile pic is horrendous. sorry if i’m repeating – he’s physically restraining her arm, not holding her hand in a ballroom pose.

    envoi: the tagline: dodi is world-famous, so she needs to express that she’s doing something worldly too.

    and she thinks all this is cute?

    • Thank you! Just for this, I went over to read it and this made me die: “That community has the depth of a dildo folding table.” BRILLIANT!

  3. So, new boyfriend, new life’s purpose. Time for the Karma Chameleon to change her skin again, like she does with every new boyfriend.

    Run, Dodi, Run! It’s not too late.

        • Now she doesn’t have to answer those tough questions at her potential in-laws homes, “So, Julia, exactly which global leaders have you coached, and about what? What change movements have you personally alchemized?” “Um, err, oops?”

          • I keep wondering if Marson’s mother and/or sister have found their way to the basement.

            Be afraid, Ellen. Be very afraid.

  4. I wonder if catalyzing a global movement for love includes emailing your most recent ex’s estranged father about his son’s mental health issues like she did just a few months before meeting Dodi? Or harassing him and his new girlfriend, including sending unwanted nude photos and texts, and demanding he respond to her calls and texts fully six months after they broke up because she imposed some rules that they were forever in each other’s lives? Don’t believe this? There’s proof.

    GLOBAL MOVEMENT FOR LOVE INDEED. WHAT A PHONY. We used to have a phrase in advertising, “Saying doesn’t make it so.” The only movement needed is exiting stage right before the demanding stage five remora fish takes over and starts controlling your life. RUN DODI RUN.

    • Along those same phony lines, she doesn’t answer any emails sent to the xojulia contact address. You know, where you’re encouraged to inquire about hiring this “global strategic advisor” who doesn’t believe in resumes. She never responded to Slate and she never responded to a well-connected tech person who ended up in the basement and sent us an email.

      Where do you get your money, Judy?

  5. Oh, dear.

    Noodles is heading for divorce (what’s the woo word for that? Unfasting? Decommitting? I don’t need to know) very fast.

  6. GLOBAL MOVEMENT?? GLOBAL??? MOVEMENT???

    I guess since her pointless jetting now includes White woo-enclave Bali, she thinks she is a GLOBAL influence of some sort.

    The truth is that her delusion has reached psychiatric proportions.

  7. “Can’t get enough of him.” Donkspeak for, “I’m going to need a lot more attention from you, Dr. Dadbod.”

      • She’s working overtime on this one. I wonder when she’s going to post that lame quote about them falling into an intimacy from which they never recover, the same one she used on two of her past boyfriends. :::eyeroll:::

        • they’ve been together officially what – three months? her behavior seems a little obsessive compulsive don’t you think?

          • But past experience tells her that he is going to be running for the hills, or trying to, momentarily. She needs to lock this man down.

          • I though it was a little presumptuous (and telling) to caption the photo of her and Dodi with the Baughers as, “Merry Christmas from my family to yours.” And of course this phrasing was intentional. Wonder how the Marsons Sr. feel about all of this?

      • Post-breakup excuse:

        “I just couldn’t be a scientist’s wife. I have A CAREER. As a GLOBAL leader, you know?”

  8. So that’s how it works? Phlegm can have all the support, friendship and advice she could use in her time of need for the low, low price of $300 (keep a twenty spot for the bus ride over, hon) and wait for the wolf, blood, bear, platypus moon at the end of the month, ‘kay? “Don’t you worry about a thing, hon. We’ll get you straightened out. We’ll have lunch at that cute little place, have a spa day, see a good movie and catch up. And don’t you think about paying. I know time’s are tough with your hubby absconding with the Ovaltine. Our day is on me.” Or…replace that with a communal bucket of kale on a hemp mat on the floor while drum circling and deep breathing. Venmo me a three spot, so I can support you in the way you know you need. *Air kisses* *Serious nose-ring face* Fuck me.

    • You are on fire! “….wolf, blood, bear, platypus moon..”. Hahaha.
      Love the addition of platypus, that killed me in the best way.
      And “absconding with the Ovaltine” = world alchemising hilarity.
      Come over to my place, lovah, I have a special room we could have the sexy times in. May I show you?! 😉

  9. They’re all so full of shit. I recently went to a lovely day long yoga and meditation retreat that focused on pelvic health. It was ran by a woman with extensive yoga teacher training who also had an MPH. The location was rented, a small farm, and we had a decadent meal and snacks. And a salt water pool to swim in at lunch too! We left with an informative workbook and 2 small but well-made gifts. What I learned that day continues to improve my quality of life. And it was $100 less than what Noodles is shilling! I’m embarrassed for her, all of these people are shameless con artists.

  10. This just in: Daddy Warbucks liked Donk’s new profile fauxto, the Dodi snuggle. You KNOW Petey cringed whenever he had to see a fauxto of his beast of burden and Phuturephuckphace.

  11. From 2014!!!:

    Donk posts fauxto of Derpin with the brown chocolate Chewbacca bedspread pulled up to his chin, resulting in the disembodied Easter Island head effect, with the caption:
    “happiness is a soft, cozy master bed with this man in it, waiting for me….”

    JFA [the actual JFA] comments: Notice how she never mentions anything specific about him? It’s always “I LOVE THIS MAN! I CANNOT WAIT TO COME HOME TO THIS MAN!”

    LickedRandisCake comments: Every time I see her say “this man”, I wonder who she is trying to convince. Its just such a weird way to refer to him over and over again. Though I suppose it is progress that she has stopped referring to men as boys.

    2014, people! This Donkey truly never changes, except for her costumes.

    The thread is here, and we were on fire: http://rebloggingdonk.com/2014/01/20/today-in-nobody-asked/

      • No, BOOK real, no? BOOK soon to be print. Book no Lilly.

        (It was cous cous before at this sacred bamboo beaver moon shinding )

    • It’s funny, I’ve found that when women use “this man” it’s that they’re trying to convince themselves it’s love. (low-key insulting the man)
      When men use “that woman” it’s a way to demean and insult the woman. “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
      “This man,” seems like he doesn’t care, so they’re exactly what each deserves. Register for his and her divorce attorneys though.

      • It does seem forced, almost as if she’s trying to convince herself, convince him and convince the world all at the same time. Prethentation and pertheption.

        In the past, whenever she has started up with the whole “ILY [insert name here]!!!” on social media, it is usually because the guy isn’t reciprocating enough for her.

        • Haha nothing makes a man want to reciprocate love quite like forcing him to on social media.
          I sense he could be a cardboard cut out for her purposes which 100% appear nothing more than an attempt to show ILYR that she’s over him. Which clearly she is not.

  12. OT now five head is back to tagging advantage taking mesh shirt ::smacks fore head:: sisters help her, yikes

    • She’s giving shout outs to Daniel Ellsberg. “I love my radical family. I belong!” Uh, Jena, honey, you’re an insurance scammer who runs internet grifts, not a Pentagon whistleblower. Take your foot off the stage, please.

  13. I’m bringing over my comment from the previous post, as I’m curious what everyone thinks of my theory on la fraud and Swiss mister:

    I don’t know much about immigration, but I thought if someone overstayed their visa, they are sent back to their home county to wait through the visa process.

    I know for a fact that you cannot get a fiance visa unless you can show you have the funds to support a non-working fiance for x-amount of time. I don’t remember exactly how long, but I am sure it’s at least six months, if not a year. The immigrating fiance cannot get permission to work until they get a work visa, and my understanding is that takes some time. I cannot imagine cacao and yoni steaming makes her enough money to have the necessary funds saved up in the bank.

    I could see Jenna not bothering to look into what the actual process is to get a spouse a green card and not understanding what an involved process it is. I do believe she married for love and him for the green card, and once they found out how arduous the process is, he saw greener pastures back in Europe.

    • She owns a building in NYC and took out a $250,000 mortgage on it. And is probably renting it out and making at least to pay that. Would show money in the account. Plus mother-in-dildos may have vouched

      • I wonder how she got her hands on that building. Part of the divorce settlement with Ellsberg? I guess it does pay to snuggle with your mother-in-lust.

      • Could be somehow involved. From public records, she bought apartment in Brooklyn Prospect Park South sacred husbands ago, in 2007 for near 300 grand, maybe she had some BOOK money/family/alimony money, sold it in 2014 for 390, bought an apartment in Manhattan in 2015 for 366 sold it in 2017 for 450 not far from the cacao temple VBRO flophouse bought a 2 unit building in Bronx for 660 2017 (converted sans permits to 4 at some point, maybe prior) and has a 250 mortgage on it. All public records -might not be the full story since she variably uses Jena or Jennifer or Laflamme or La flamme. the creepy cult burner millionaire with a brothel in harlem she gyrated for at some point may be involved since his hubby the young Rosland also with antlers or whatever was a rental agent for the new place via papa docs company. According to rent pages the building monthly roll is $9090 there.

    • Your theory seems highly plausible, cupcake. I, too, believe Jena put aside her gold digger values and married for love. Nielsen became bored very quickly, both with Jena’s neediness and with the green card process, and took off because he has little or no sense of obligation.

      • I agree. This scenario was an all too predictable twist on the classic cheating adage: “If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you.” Someone should have warned Jena that if Peter Pan was willing to abandon his kids to be with Jena, he would be abandoning Jena soon enough for the next new shiny thing. But of course the woos’ only advice is “Follow your bliss.” There’s surprisingly little bliss in wooville these days.

      • I still say that he’s acting like it’s just a matter of time before the law catches up with him over some really bad shit back home.

          • I’m hard-pressed to understand how he would be able to get a green card in this country if he is wanted for child support in his home country.

            To answer your question: I’m thinking worse than being in arrears in child support.… He just looks that fucking creepy and everything we know about him is sketchy as hell.

          • am beginning to think that he didn’t have a “green card” per se, but was only granted I-130 residency approval, based on the fact they were married.

            i entered the US (mumble) years ago on a L1-A visa, applied for green card (lawful permanent resident status), then citizenship after that. permanent residency has stages and i’m pretty sure the process hasn’t changed since i went through it – criteria maybe, but not the process.

            a change in status to LPR may be nigh impossible for him to complete unless he could prove he was “without the potential to become a public charge”; and just being married may not cut it. can’t really see drumming in the park, or selling cups of milo for exorbitant prices meeting the income criteria for this requirement.

            the I-130 would allow the horned one to travel in and out of the US unhindered, until limited by the “non-travel period” prior to issue of green card, that is if he even bothered to lodge a change of status application. based on his inability to sit still for more than five minutes, doubt this was the case.

    • Immigration law is very complex but, in general, after you get married you can immediately apply for a green card and, while your application is processed, you get a work permit and a “parole” document that allows to get in and out of the country for a year (nothing to do with jail-related parole) and can be renewed if necessary.

      Having said that, the Very Good Looking One doesn’t strike me as an I-can’t-wait-to-get-a-job kind of person. He is a more of a I-have-never-worked-in-my-life and have-no-plans-to-start-now type.

      He probably got bored with Jenna and the American woos and decided to follow his “passion” (sex and drugs) to Europe, green-card be damned.

      • Also, in order to stay and work in this country, you need an employer (or work adjacent authority) to vouch that the work you produce is vital and unique to a business and cannot be replicated by any other human being who might be in the US legally.

        As an artist who also works for an art organization , I have known many artists come to my boss for this very important letter. It’s a tough process by a tough jury.

        We lost “the extremely good looking one in person” at the word WORK.

        • That is for work-based immigration (such as H1-B visas, or the “extraordinary ability” visas), not for marriage-based.

          If you marry a US citizen, your work doesn’t really count.

          • Noted. Wish “Master of Cacao Ceremonies” was recognized as a unique job of extraordinary abilities. Sigh.

    • I had a feeling that when he had to go back to work after the holidays, and given that she has no job or hobbies other than vacationing and obsessing over whatever dude she’s banging, he’d start feeling pressure from her need for constant communication, reassurance and attention. Because she’s blown up this few months of dating into this huge thing and paraded him around like some prized steer she’s purchased, I wouldn’t be surprised if things start cooling off pretty quickly. Especially if she pressures him into letting her move in to NoPa house. Her Bali lease is up on Feb. 15, so that could be a critical point where she pushes for the cohabitation thing.

      • I tend to agree, though she always goes for guys that are fame thirsty and she’s good at acting like she has the connections/experience to get them that fame/recognition.

        She’ll exploit his weakness and he will feel indebted enough to look the other way for a while.

    • Conspicuously absent from this and the Xmas family photo: his mom and sister, sister’s hubby. So maybe they’ve got her number already. One can only hope.

    • Anything to get her out of his duran hair, maybe, and out of Colorado

  14. But you guys are all missing the point that Swiss Mister does have a job. He works for Pleasureable Living! It’s right there on his Facebook page, so you know it must be real. (Even though he took down his “married” status.) Oh Jena, you need a mom, not a brood of sisters.

  15. Note she posted recently about her “father in love,” Daniel Ellsberg. And no, I would say Pat doesn’t count because I meant a mother who would knock some sense into her kid. And I do consider Jena a kid based on her naive, self-centered, adolescent behavior.

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