Pics Or Sacha’s In Switzerland, Jena

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The creature formerly known as Jean Gray would like to wish you sexualized season’s greetings:

Traditionally Winter Solstice is a celebration of stillness and darkness, so if running around from one social obligation to another has you worn out, then know that Nature is on your side!

My husband comes from a snowy country where this principle is still honored and many people slow down their lives dramatically during the darkest times.

Here in California, there’s no sign of snow, but the days are short and I’m feeling the call for stillness. Let’s call it Sensual Stillness.

We’re going away to a quiet cabin in the woods, and hot springs, to soak and steam our souls under the full moon. Ahhhhh… it will be grand.

At the hot springs we’ll be naked so it’s a good practice in self-acceptance and letting cellulite and stretch-marks all hang out, in peace. At the cabin we’ll have time and space to bird watch, meditate, and explore each other sensually at a slowed down pace. We’ll make love in front of the log fire and celebrate the longest night, and the return of the light from here forth.

Love, may you be inspired by the season to enter the dark places without fear, and to be your own source of light.

Remember, the elements are highly sensual!
Nature is highly sexual!
The sleep during these nights is the most replenishing of the year, so give yourself the luxury of staying in bed, for whichever purpose that may be.

Thanks for opening and reading and for being with me this year. I look forward to what’s to come!

May your holidays be magical and sensual, connecting you to your roots and your Tribe.

Happy Sensual Solstice!

Love,
Jena

Geez, Jena, give the “erotic goddess” grift a break! We’re going to grandma’s house for the holidays and grandma isn’t Patricia Ellsberg.

Regarding your third husband, we haven’t seen a fauxto of DJ Deadbeat Dad in months. He recently posted about hosting a cacao ceremony in Geneva, yodeling in the new year with a comely Swiss woo. So, where is your very-good-looking-in-person spouse? Is interpol after him? Did he, or did you, buy his kids any Christmas presents this year? So shady.

Loooove the crotch grabbing! Very Madonna 1989, Mistress Trytoohard.

47 COMMENTS

  1. Be careful what you wish for. She may ask about the photos Ala one of her other ex husbands MAY I SHOW YOU

    • These asshats blither on and on about transparency and authenticity and yet nothing could be more rotten in Denmark, eh, Jena?

  2. Do we really need to know every detail about when and where they will “make love”? Everything is about sex with these people. I wonder how many relationships they even have where there is no sex involved. I’ve known so many young women who have run away from the woo due to being pressured into sleeping with everybody.

    Fun story: I went to a woo wedding in Santa Cruz once, where the officiant propositioned me. He told me that he was “highly trained in the sensual arts” as he tried to feed me a strawberry.

    • I wasn’t this sex crazed when a first-year college student, though I suppose the always-two-seconds-away-from-an-orgasm poses have more to do with la Fraud’s current grift than they do with her current reality.

      • JFAing myself to add that I can only see Patricia Ellsberg, Jena & Sacha’s officiant, feeding you that berry, even though you stated he was male. WAIT, now I’m seeing Tubbs Franklin! Oh, make that image go away …

    • I think “wild sex” is the only thing they really believe makes them different from us plebs. Hence the need to publicise all the time.
      Being married, people do tend to assume you have a sex life of some sort, but I guess nothing can be left unsaid with the woos.
      It must be interesting when they all meet up and are trying to outdo each other with how sensual and outrageous their sex lives are.

      • I would enjoy listening to an uncensored gathering of the woos. Someone close to them mentioned they only discuss how wonderful they are and how wonderful their friends are. They appear incapable of critical thinking.

    • They come off more as sexual predators than people really in touch with, and feeling good about their sexuality. ‘Cause I feel GREAT about my sexuality and I damn never need to blather on about it.

  3. Methinks the lady doth protest too much (about still being involved with Deadbeat Dad).

    Kinda looks to me like she read the post here about him being MIA and she’s eager to prove the catladies wrong.

    Pix or it didn’t happen. On second thought, no pix please. *shudder*

  4. The sleep during these nights is the most replenishing of the year

    FFS, is there nothing this / these asshat(s) won’t pull out of her / their ass?

    • “ … so give yourself the luxury of staying in bed.”

      Yeah, Jena, I’m sure my kids will let me do that. You remember Christmas, right? When your current husband can’t afford to buy his children any presents because he’s been too busy drumming on a garbage can lid for most of the year?

      • My kids won’t let me GO to bed, let alone stay in bed.

        Some of us have actual responsibilities, FlimFlamme. Thanks for the brilliant tip though. Stay in bed. Who would ever think to do that on their own?!?! You really are changing the world with your unique ideas!

  5. Theory: Deadbeat Dad has convinced Jena that letting him go awol is the most spiritual evolved thing for her to do. Next step – he will return to live with his former wife and kids.

    • Unlikely. Irresponsible is Sacha’s middle name and he appears to have hooked up with another Swiss woo, not the former Mrs. Nielsen.

  6. From December 21… it’s an opus and I stopped to vom…

    “~ 3 ways to revolutionize your sex life closing tonight ~

    Yesterday I had an exquisite day. The evening ended with connected, dynamic, heart-felt love-making with my partner, but let me tell you how it began…”

    Mmmm-kay, no thanks!

    • The two posts are so contradictory. Your husband isn’t on the same continent, but you’re having sex with your partner? Which one is it, hon? Inquiring INS minds want to know.

  7. What is sad is of all these “sisters” she has no one to tell her directly leave that deadbeat dad? She was begging online for strangers to help her pre cross country move when he was ghost. No sister/friend to tell her leave that deadbeat dad alone?
    Only good story is if she got paid for the green card marriage, otherwise what a tragic tale for woo goddessess love jaded egg coaches etc etc as if there weren’t enough already-

    • Sister Jena, you dropped out of college, no degree or skills of any kind, but sly, Nisha founder of global $i$terhood told me to tell you leave that deadbeat dad already and run to Barbara of the deep throat

      -from 2015 as successful as the caterwaller, at least she has no brood or chapstick-

      PROJECT OWNER

      Sacha Nielsen
      Blonay, Switzerland
      2 Campaigns

      $97 USD raised
      0% of $10,000
      flexible goal
      Dear Ones, I am now at a threshold point where i am guided to live of my He-art and soul guidance and want to share my work and inspiration with the world, trough music, healing and sacred design. At this point i need some money right now to be able to continue and take care of my kids and family. If you also feel that the tribe we are, and it’s extension called the “society” should be supporting every single One for it’s basic needs, I am sure you will help me in the same way you want to be helped one day. This is really a movement from surviving drive to thriving and i am calling upon what we all want: to be helped and cared by our family in critical times! I thank you for all donations, and will be at your service for any needs or service for you! Namaste, and from the bottom of my heart, receive my infinite gratitude;)

      same year, different country
      He-art awakening
      PROJECT OWNER

      Sacha Nielsen
      Copenhague, Denmark
      2 Campaigns

      $30 USD raised
      0% of $10,000

      Dear Sisters and brothers I am in the process and realizing some amazing new design of what I call: He-Art awakening Art! Those Designs are all based on Sacred Geometry and Life symbolism, and contained all informations to Awaken our Being into Enlightenment. They all come from Vision quest, where I tune in with the hidden message of the Universe and it’s power of alignment. For being able to realize and then bring this Art to you, I will need your help and support to be fully dedicated to this project. Meaning that i could be able to not do another work for earning money, and stay focus on doing what I love and want to share in this world, for the planet and US! As some may know I have 2 kids, and for that I need money to support them also. So if you feel like supporting me and being part of this amazing project, please donate and you will receive some of the first Prints of this amazing work of He-Art. With Love and immense Gratitude to You!!!!

      • I didn’t know that you could be destitute in the USA and get a green card… how does this stuff get past the authorities… this stuff and his non-support of his children…? Ellsberg strings? Did this broke ass mofo use those campaign donations to fly here to get a complementary green card, and to what end if he ditches his green card wife so that he can fly back to Switzerland? He acts like someone expecting to get picked up on murder charges any day now …

        • I doubt he flew here on $127. The audacity of this hoped-for cash grab is just fucking unbelievable. We’re supposed to give him 10k so Deadbeat can scribble a few pentagrams and call them “he-art”?

          These people are delusional and horrible.

        • >destitute in the USA and get a green card
          theoretically, you can’t. one of the requirements is that you have ways, means and connections so that you don’t “become a public charge”.

          catwife and i acted as guarantor for one of her cousins who had been sponsored by his mum, already resident in the US. for marriage, the minimum income is around $20K for spousal support – cousin had to wait to prove income before they could bring spouse over.

          also: the “flying back to switzerland” thing – the good-looking horned one needs to be careful that he doesn’t spend excess time outside of the united states. if he can’t prove he has a permanent address stateside, after a certain number of re-entries or more time outside the US than in, they’ll take his green card off him.

      • Would that someone could write a “Confederacy of Dunces” style novel but instead of the protagonist being Ignatius Reilly, make it a ne’er-do-well woo.

        • I’ve begged our two author-at-BOOKS commenters to write a novel about the woos, but they’ve begged off, citing no desire to create characters so thoroughly loathsome. Who can blame them?

  8. Where n the world is she really? One of her other current solstice scams

    https://www.pleasurableweightloss.com/solstice-celebration-happy-holidays/

    “It’s Summer Solstice for half of the world, including from where I am writing to you, my Motherland, Australia, and the Winter Solstice for the other half.”… Love and light,
    Jena

    P.S. Here are some pictures of Sacha and I exploring the rainforest of Australia. We’ve been having a blast unplugging and getting back to the roots. May we all go outside, whether it’s winter or summer, and feel the direct embrace of the womb of Mother Nature.
    … Since early December I’ve been on an incredible retreat in Australia (the land of my birth) and then Switzerland (the land of my husband’s birth), and this is my first live offering of the year.

    I’m really excited to share this Masterclass with you. Reserve your spot here. If you can’t make it live, I’ll send the recording!

    With love,
    Jena

    • I can’t figure out if all of these woos have childhood sexual trauma or if they’ve rebranded prostitution under the guise of “sexual freedom”. You know? Where they’re really just saying “I’ll f*ck you if you give me a place to stay or something monetary in return”. Either way, it’s off the charts embarrassing. It doesn’t seem that most of them are orphans and have no family with access to a computer. They must know that cousin so and so and nana are reading about them screwing and partaking in drug infested public orgies. It’s all just so ewwwwwww. Its the exact opposite of “sexual empowerment”. Regardless of the why, they all seem like used car salesmen who like to play dress up.

      • I’ve always believed myself to be fairly non-judgmental about others’ sexual practices. Imagine my surprise when I came across the woos – thanks, Donkey – and discovered I had pearls and was clutching them. But who wouldn’t need smelling salts when stumbling upon Christina Morassi’s post about Jena’s bachelorette party, in which she engaged in sexual play with her elderly former mother-in-law? What? Why in the hell would anyone post this mess on Facebook?

    • Because the webpage is for her older “pleasurable dieting” grift I’m guessing Jena was too lazy to write a new post for the 2018 holibrays and just threw up an old one. No time to be grifter responsible when she’s enjoying the luxury of staying in bed.

      • i tried to pull EXIF information from the photo to pinpoint person, place and time, but all i could come up with was the fact it had been resized from a larger image.

  9. “During darkest times in Old Country, we honor principle by slowing down marriage to no contact, six months. Parenthood same. “

  10. Let me get this straight. We are supposed to believe that Jena and Sasha are together for the holidays… But there are no photos? This from a couple that posted photos from their pre-wedding hot-tub retreat, their pre- and post- coital bed, their every-intimate-naked-moment together? Uh, I don’t think so…

    • I’m waiting for the cryface post, in which la Fraud announces that they’ve moved on but will always be in each other’s lives as friends, which will be followed by an appeal to take zouk lessons with her or sign up for Frisky Fridays or enroll in the revamped pleasurable dieting program or …

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