Wet Burro, Or, When The World’s Oldest Groupie Jumped Into Rick Rubin’s Hot Tub

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Earlier this year, shortly after Donk allegedly bragged about plotting to make former CEO Travis Kalanick fall in love with her, our burro was hanging with record producer Rick Rubin and other hangers-on at his minimalist digs in Malibu. Not content to simply enjoy whatever was going down in the hot tub, Judy frantically sent selfies to her tribe and to Rain, who’d dumped her raft ass several months before. We’ve caught a glimpse of those fauxtos. As you surely understand, we can’t share them.

We’re also hearing Donk might have been introduced to Rubin via Neil Strauss, consummate pickup artist. She’s on his FB friend list, as are Bryan “Tubbs” Franklin, Michael Smellsberg, and Shady Shanti. Now, who wouldn’t want to be associated with these folks?

Ellen & Bernie’s future daughter-in-law is one classy lady.

71 COMMENTS

      • I find animal donkey pics mostly adorable. The human kind not so much.

        Gilly, darling, couldn’t you just blur some bits out? It’s not like we haven’t seen her nips several times already, unfortunately!

        • Dear Heart, you know I cannot but note that I never indicated our girl jumped in without her undergarments.

          Judy, Judy, Judy. Every day I thank Goddess I’m not her.

  1. Pics or it didn’t happen!
    (I trust our overseers in their infinite wisdom though. )

    “Tubbs” ! Bless.

    • You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff that’s popped up in your dotty aunt Gilly’s inbox during the last four years.

      • If possible, maybe you can make a Blind Items Bonanza? Of course in a way that protects sources and limits potential liability

        • Hmmmmmm … I will share something that I’ve not completely revealed. It’s totally bonkers. As you might imagine, when folks contact us via email, it’s usually to drop off a fauxto, e.g., the recent SF snap of Donk and Dodi heading to the opera, or give us a juicy tidbit. We have one reader who’s been tipping us for three years. Anywoo, it’s fairly casual and we’ve gotten some great stories via email.

          About three years ago, one of Michael Ellsberg’s “best friends” kept contacting us. Not with any info, which is the point of the email address, but to inform us what a great tipster he would be. He’d tell us so much about what’s going on with the woos! There was even something along the lines of, “You can’t afford not to use me.”

          The guy’s name and info checked out – he clearly was who he said he was – but it was Rhoda who noted he seemed to be applying for a job! He never gave us any actual tips, just more and more pleas about using him in the future. Ms. Morgenstern and I were convinced he wanted to be PAID!! We NEVER responded and eventually the emails ceased. Did he think we were TMZ?

          • Wow! So bizarro that he seemed to think you would – or even could – pay him

          • Maybe we should’ve strung him along? Waited for him to make an offer?

            The woos would sell out their best friends for a quarter.

          • I love the tipster story.

            I cannot believe that Judy and Latka went to the opera dressed like that.

          • G you are much kinder than I am. I would have outted him on the site.

          • I live in a developing country with a pretty well-entrenched sugar baby culture, amongst impoverished young urban women. They’re usually pretty easy to spot, for a number of reasons (no judgement or blame on these gals) – but the reasons include shirt-length dresses, stripper heels, faux fur, cheap costume jewellery and excessive PDAs.

            Judy, please know that you dress like a young hooker at a grimy mall on a Saturday afternoon in the third world. But you’re a rich white middle-aged American woman at the opera. You’re not even TRYING.

          • Winchester, I initially thought he was working in cahoots with Smellsberg, but we hadn’t written anything about The Greasy Gargoyle in a while. The wannabe tipster wasn’t a woo, but he definitely knew members of Judy’s tribe, going on and on about how nice some of them were, e.g., Jennifer Russell. OK, so why did he want to become a PAID snitch and tattle on his friends?

  2. Ugh, I’m still mad the Kalanick thing didn’t pan out. They could have told their mini future felon-donkeys how they fell in love over God View before daddy lost his company went to federal prison. She’s definitely hitting the recycling bin for beaus. Wonder how far down new guy was before she landed one willing to take the bait?

  3. OT: Jesus, Noodles, have you been paying any fucking attention to your goddess besties?

    Liked by Mulia Mallison.

    This eyebrow-raiser really deserves its own post, but too much is going on in Donkeyville right now.

  4. I’m dead now. Dead. Dead. Defunct. Deceased. I have joined the choir invisible. Bereft of life, I Rest In Peace.

    Judy’s not the world’s oldest groupie, though. Lady Pamela DesBarres is alive and kicking, and so is Cindy Plastercaster!

  5. I don’t think Miss Baugher will have a kid. I believe somewhere inside of her there is a self-aware person who understands the horror show of a mother she’d be. I have a kid, and I’m raising someone else’s, and I’m not exactly a quality, patient parent, but I’m here every night at 6, and all weekend every weekend. Didn’t someone say 90% of life is just showing up? Anyway, I don’t think she will do it. I think she will skip the kid thing. Or she will hire someone full time and let a servant raise it. She won’t participate, which will be about the same as not having one.

    • I don’t if I’d call it self-awareness so much as self-protection, in Donkey’s case.

      In other words, it would be less “I wouldn’t be able to devote so much of myself to a baby” as “Ugh. A baby is gonna suck up all my time and energy, and everyone would dote over it and not pay me enough attention”

    • She’ll do it as insurance for 18 years of Donkey layabout child support when the wheels come off the marriage. Guaranteed.

      • I am a Classic Basement Spinster, but my observation is that when narcissists have children, those spawn simply become extensions of themselves (that is, living, breathing, exhaustively-Instagrammed extensions of their own massive egos…)

        Julie’s [real-time] expiration date might be rapidly approaching, but she may still manage to squeeze out some additional content for all of us to enjoy.

        • can second this. had the misfortune of working for a narcissistic boss and his equally narcissistic daughter. they were birds of a feather.

        • See southwest passenger that named her kid *abcde* (pronounced ab-city) who became incensed when openly and correctly was mocked.
          I see Julia playing futility issues for sympathy without ever intending to get pregnant.

  6. Rick Rubin is very smart and a great businessman, a great producer. He’s a cool dude, and he should scrap that hot tub pronto.

    • I wonder if donkey was telling rain she was going to get him a major label contract from that hot tub?

      • “Rainy, ineffable Rick – we were instant besties, shared karma – loves your mixtape, thinks you’re the new Yanni!

        • I can imagine the scintillating conversation they had about Taylor Swift and Disney music, along with third rate EDM.

      • So they won’t be filming themselves pestering elderly people in retirement homes as a means of raising their YouTube hits? NEVER FORGET!

        • that vid was awful

          the climax of disrespect was an old man sitting in a wheel chair getting patted on the head, like a little kid or a dog

          • That was beyond cringey. Even worse than Donkey in her undies, spread-eagle on that old guy’s lap during the Gawker fauxto shoot

          • Didn’t they LITERALLY drag some homeless guy off the street & into Gawker’s offices to pose with Judy and that deb?

  7. I am sitting in a restaurant where a woman on a date is loud talking and over talking the guy she is with. How do people think this a thing that is okay? And not just women. ANYONE?!

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