A Thanksgiving Horror: The Doomed Marsons Host A Burro In Her Bra For The Holibray

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So, they’ve now spent how many hours together? Did Judy head back to Bali after stuffing her maw with tofurky and impressing Bernie and Ellen with her intellectual acumen? Maybe she treated her beloved’s parents to a couple of episodes of Mess Despised – “Here’s where I panicked when having to write a 400-word article about myself for a women’s rag!” Or maybe she showed them snapshots of this year’s BM, such as the eyebrow-raiser below:

I showed this fauxto sans explanation to my oldest sibling and this was the reaction: “Good Lord, since when did you start consorting with bottom-of-the-barrel strippers? I think I can see the tall one’s vagina.”

In other vaginal news, Jena la Flamme is steaming her yoni.

Bottom Picture! Middle-aged DJ PhuturePhuckPhace will inevitably spin at Donk and Alex’s wedding reception. They’re still in each other’s lives as friends (after she PAID him back the 4k).

61 COMMENTS

  1. The yoni steamer is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Ever get a bad burn from steam? I have. Ever want your private parts all sore and tender from a bad burn? Not me! And I certainly don’t want the entire emergency department laughing at me when I describe the benefits I expected to receive from sitting on a chair I bought at a medical supply house with a pressure cooker beneath it.

    Off to start a Go Fund Me to purchase a shirt for Julia. You don’t show up to someone’s house for the holidays wearing your damned, stretched to hell Coobie, dumbass! It’s an undergarment. No one cares about your abs. Put on a damned shirt for your boyfriends Nan!

    • The yoni steamer looks like a combo medieval torture/potty training device.

      The lovely Laura Hollick, who’s looking forward to Jena sharing her steaming cooch experience, describes this exciting DIY project:

      I love my daily yoni steams! Whenever I mention yoni steams people often look at me sideways and ask what that is or how I do it?
      So here goes…
      I took the seat off of an old chair and added a seat top I purchased from Vibrant Souls for steaming. I place the steaming herbs below, sit, wrap my legs with a flannel sheet so the steam can’t escape out the sides, and sit for about 20-30 minutes for my morning journaling while I luxuriously steam. The only time I don’t steam is when I’m on my cycle.

      Indulging in my daily yoni steam keeps my creative juices flowing!

      • Why in the fuckity fuck are these people sharing this on Facebook in PUBLIC POSTS?!?!?!?! jfc

    • I cannot with the vaginal steam press. Bacteria like moisture you morons. Up next: Fivehead will be crowd souring for cures for yeast infections. These people are as shameless as they are stupid.

  2. I can’t believe this disgusting website still exists. Alex and Julia are obviously in love and will be together for years to come. Can’t you just be happy for her?

    • My despair for his bleak future kind of overwhelms any happy feelings I might harbor. I can’t believe you bother to read such a disgusting website, Krystal. What’s up with that?

    • Danish Mary! Are we being punked? She sounds suspiciously like Smellsberg. “I predict these kids will be together for at least five years.”

    • There’s no way this is actually Danish Mary. She had the good sense to distance herself from the Donkey 8-10 years ago and I believe she was well known to avoid Donkey and even laugh at her.
      Gilly and Jacy should probably remove her name to be fair to her.

      • I’d agree with you here except the real Krystal Kahler left a positive comment on Donk’s recent “I’m so in love with Alex Marson” FB post.

        • To keep things simple, I never trust anyone who has voluntarily associated with Julia Allison for more than a few days. Their judgment is pisspoor

        • In that case, I feel a lot less bad for KK.

          Out of curiosity, does the IP address actually indicate a KK type of location (SoCal)? (I realize Donkey is also in SoCal at the moment, so this is not dispositive.) It would be shocking to me if KK would openly associate with JA. If that really is her, LOL @ PIMCO’s standards these days.

          The other reason it would surprise me is that KK seems like she did the best out of anyone is Donkey’s circle, both career-wise and by marriage (except maybe Fatty Kate who dated a founder and broke up another founder’s marriage, but that’s another story). Her husband went to West Point and worked in finance after serving his commitment. No way they’d actually spend time with Donkey and her weirdo circle. Maybe she just feels bad for Donkey, like that Donkey is so dumb it’s cruel to mock her.

          • I don’t usually comment on IP addresses unless a commenter is an obvious troll; however, the IP address here does indicate California. Still, could this be the real deal? As you note, Kahler extricated herself from Donkey’s clutches very quickly and certainly didn’t invite her to her wedding, though Meghan was there.

            The real KK and Donk’s exchange in the “I love Son of Sam” post:

            Krystal Kahler
            So happy for you!!!! Love looks great on you!! Xoxoxo

            Julia Allison
            And being a momma looks great on you, sweetie!

          • I’m catching up on last week, but I see the comment in question was posted at 5 am in CA on Saturday morning. If KK is a married mom, I can’t imagine she’d be busy perusing (and getting pissy with) RBD right after waking up at ungodly-early-o’clock on a holiday weekend; whereas it’s reasonable to assume our manic, insomniac donkey would still be awake from the night before. But KK is an interesting alter-ago for her to go with; it’s certainly no Beth.

    • 1. Julia can’t be happy. Ever.
      It has nothing to do with this site and everything to do with her own pathological history of unethical and illegal behavior where she place blame without taking accountability.
      TL;DR-Hands Julia a mirror.

  3. They sell “yoni steaming” chairs! Of course they do, but seriously? Stop the world, I need to get out.

    Judy and Dodi B. look like a very well-matched couple in that photo. Although she forgot her shirt.

  4. Marina del Bray!

    So many memories….

    “It floats, it floats!!”, the bike ride, literally throwing herself at that dude’s feet for a kiss, the 2nd-date BJ…

    #nevahforget

      • She probably thought she’d have a horde of stans rushing here to defend her and ruin the place. Instead, it turned out far better for us than for her

  5. After seen that disturbing pressure cooker / chair contraption, I will never be able to think of steamed clams in the same way again.

    La Fraud gotta be trolling us, right?

  6. I wonder how TG at the Hammaconda-Berkowitzes went.

    Since he is a bit of a famewhore and his parents seem to be as well, maybe they were impressed by the Donkey’s almost-famous for being almost-famous ethos, or maybe they saw her for what she is (a desperate gold digger with no class) and are now wondering how are they going to get her away from their precious son.

    Of course, after they spend another, let’s say, 40 hrs together, the cracks are going to start showing and Dr H-B may run for the hills without any parental nudging.

  7. I was trying to put my finger on it, and finally it dawned on me. In some of his pictures, Marson looks like Andy Kaufman.

  8. The first time I saw Marson, and ever since, all I can think of is he looks like someone in my field – J. Michael Bailey. See Google images. Then see the trail of dramas (like the fucksaw incident).

    • Yes, I can see the resemblance. I read a NYT piece on Bailey and vaguely remembered the controversy surrounding his theories on trannsexualism.

      bailey

  9. Oh COME ON Judy. Wearing a teeny crop top to the new in-laws? Was Marson Sr anxiously shifting in his seat, not sure where to put his eyes? Was Mrs Marson asking you blunt questions about where you met, and what your career as an “influencer” actually entailed? Were the siblings and their partners making a lot of eye contact with each other, then leaving the table 2 or 3 at a time to giggle in the kitchen? While they were away, did you hear something that sounded like a farm animal braying and stampeding, followed by a lot of shush-ing?

    I hope she at least helped clear dishes and didn’t just sit at the table with her hand on Hammaconda while flirting with Marson Sr.

    • Oh, she’s doing a major suck up to her future in-laws, even more so than Mama Avocado. Julie can sniff out money and/or power from miles away. “Can I help you with the dishes, Ellen? I feel like I know you as well as I know my own mother!”

  10. If anyone’s wondering why yoni steaming is a thing with the woos – that too-small one piece in the Goddess group shot, with the nylon seams stretched over the pudenda every time she arches her arse backwards to make her thighs look smaller, is a guaranteed ingrown-pube nightmare.

    • Yoni steaming may come the closest they ever get to cleaning out the old clam dungeon

  11. Hey guys-

    Haven’t posted here in years so I’m a bit behind. Is this one of the guys she dated a long time ago? Or a new guy? In related news, I was randomly at a small gathering with Code Name TK a few weeks ago. Had forgotten he existed. What a blast from the past that was!

      • Yes, Toph Eggers. She had great sex with him and posted immediately about weddings, though he was seeing someone else at the time. I believe most of those posts are available under “Code Name TK” in the categories to the right.

      • Yes Toph. It took me a minute to put it together and then I died. Just a tall dude with brown hair who lives in LA. Nothing crazy seeming about him!

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