Don’t Be A Lazy Burro, Get Out There & V-O-T-E!

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Julia Allison holds a sign as she celebrates for Illinois Sen.-elect Mark Kirk, R-Ill., who defeated Democratic nominee Alexi Giannoulias Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2010, in Wheeling, Ill. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)

Julia Allison Baugher majored in Government at Georgetown and, as we all know, nearly followed her mother into a career as a political speechwriter. On the eve of Obama’s inauguration, Our Lady of Introspection writes of her close relationship with “Barack” and Jon Favreau while alluding to OMG! Harold Ford:

YOU KNOW, IT’S RARE THAT I LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE AND WISH I HAD GONE IN ANOTHER DIRECTION, BUT READING THIS YEAR-OLD TIMES ARTICLE ABOUT JON, BARACK OBAMA’S 27-YEAR-OLD CHIEF SPEECHWRITER, MY MIND PULLED A SLIDING DOORS. FOR A MINUTE I IMAGINED WHAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN LIKE HAD I STAYED ON THE HILL, HAD I CONTINUED IN POLITICS. I WAS ONLY NINETEEN WHEN I STARTED WORKING AS A LEGISLATIVE CORRESPONDENT IN THE 107TH CONGRESS – A BABY, HONESTLY – BUT ONLY THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY MOM WHEN SHE WORKED FOR NIXON (AS A SPEECHWRITER) AND NOT THAT MUCH YOUNGER THAN JON WHEN HE MET BARACK.

ACTUALLY, I WENT TO ONE OF BARACK’S FIRST FUNDRAISERS, IN MY NEIGHBOR’S BACKYARD BACK HOME IN CHICAGO. THERE MUST HAVE BEEN THIRTY OTHER PEOPLE THERE, AND I SHOOK HIS HAND, AND TALKED WITH HIM FOR A BIT. I’M EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT WHAT WE SPOKE ABOUT … (CRINGE) … IT CONCERNED A FORMER FLING OF MINE, WHOM WE BOTH KNEW. OF ALL THINGS. SIGH.

AND IT’S OCCURRED TO ME, FROM TIME TO TIME, AS I WATCHED HIS METEORIC POLITICAL RISE, THAT I COULD HAVE TAGGED ALONG. THAT I WAS THERE AT THE RIGHT TIME AND THE RIGHT PLACE WITH THE RIGHT BACKGROUND AND THE RIGHT DEGREE … AND I WALKED RIGHT ON BY.

I WOULD BE LYING IF I TOLD YOU THAT TODAY, READING THAT ARTICLE AND RIDING THIS BUS, THAT REALIZATION DIDN’T KILL ME JUST A LITTLE BIT.

It kills us all. Just think of the intellectual acumen going to waste as our burro experiences another happy ending massage in Ubud. Does she even know who’s running for office back in San Francisco?

Don’t be a Judy – VOTE!

(We’ll be back on Wednesday night with Dadsers, Dr. David Berkowitz, and an appalling video.)

78 COMMENTS

    • “And it’s occurred to me, from time to time, as I watched his meteoric political rise, that I could have tagged along.”

      Fuck off, Shamoolia.

  1. “IT CONCERNED A FORMER FLING OF MINE, WHOM WE BOTH KNEW. OF ALL THINGS. SIGH.”

    Oh my god she literally went up to him and said “I DATED HAROLD FORD!!!!!!”

      • On the steps of Healy Hall, screaming her lungs out for all to hear: “Who cares if I’m dating a congressman?!”

    • Of course she did. “A masculine has been attracted to me (according to me)” is her go-to opening phrase when she wants to impress someone. That’s how all real beauties do it.

      I can only imagine how impressed “Barack” must have been.

  2. I love it (hate it) how she calls him “Barack”, like they were friends.

    The delusion is off the motherf-ing charts!

    • I do wonder if Jaahass “Intellectual Acumen” Johnson believes Donk when she’s forced to listen to such horseshit, but hey, if Petey & Robin still believe Jackles was going to wed John McCain, I’ll bet our burro has a whole buncha folks buffaloed.

      • I think Jahaaaaaaasss grasp on reality is very tenuous, so whatever happens around her may not register in the same way it does for ppl that are not Jaaahaaaaaaaas.

        Also, I think the Donkey’s braying must have become white noise for her, like it has for everybody else. Of course, they praise each other on social media, but I bet that when Jahhaaaaasss is not busy inventing lame portmanteaus, she must bitch about the Donkey left and right.

    • Thanks to Rhoda, I’ve started following Ramshackle for the eyebrow-raising larfs. Jordo’s greatest fan, “Staci Lawrence,” is the site’s Reader Becky, defending the “beautiful” blond goddess whenever anyone dares to criticize her lame content. I thought “Staci” might be “Dena,” who showed up in here to berate me, even though I’d only posted about Jordacted twice in four years.

      Staci Lawrence 6 months ago
      You are so powerful. I’m grateful for you. xo

      Staci Lawrence 9 months ago
      oh, i’m so sorry you are going thru this. of course you’re ok. you’re a warrior. and also…it sucks. xoxo thank you for being you.

      Staci Lawrence a year ago
      We are living parallel lives in so many ways that I want to cry with Joy. SOMEONE GETS IT! SOMEONE IS SURVIVING IT! I swear one day I’ll write you the best fan letter ever (that will for sure be too long to actually read). Thank you for bringing a spark of happiness into the world right now. xo P.S. I don’t give my littles (4 & 6) down time after school…I pick them up with M&C I just made, pirate’s booty, and fresh water, they watch a video on the in-car DVD player, and I dress them and do their hair – either in the car or at home – for dance/gymnastics/swimming depending on the day and off we go. I hated the time after school in the first few weeks where they begged for Netflix and Starbucks muffins so I filled it up with activities…on dance days I walk to the wine bar, on gymnastics day I read a book, on swim day I watch them swim because it’s Friday and we did it. =) I still feel like I’m doing something wrong but it feels fantastic…

      Staci Lawrence 2 months ago
      OMG I have a lipoma too! You’re amazing and I’m proud of you even though I’ve never met you. So there. xoxo

      Staci Lawrence Malibu Barbie 3 days ago
      Malibu is a city not an amusement park. Investments and planning are smart and have nothing to do with your actual expenses and income. Details about earrings aren’t really your business. Why are you here? Go away garbage troll, you clearly don’t get it. She’s an artist, business owner, and mom in SoCal. This is our life here. We need help and we need the beach. Go Figure.

  3. “I could have been Obama’s speech writer” is right up there in my favorite Julia Allison delusions with “I am going to Silicon Valley to marry a rich tech founder” and “I am going to sell my sideways scrolling Nonsociety personal blog for F*ck you money!” …. oh and “I am going to go to Harvard or Stanford for my MBA! What, like it’s hard??”

    So many potential failed successful futures… poor sad Donkey.

    • “I could have married a Navy flyer but I had to think of my career.”
      “I am going to buy a 4-bedroom house in Marin county.”
      “I am going to hire a personal assistant for my philanthropic endeavours.”
      “I m going to have philanthropic endeavours.”
      “I am going to marry my boyfriend Devin and have multiple weddings in different countries.”
      “I am writing a book on happiness.”
      “I am an columnist for Elle.com.”
      “I was a tech columnist.”
      “I am an official spokesmodel for Coobie.”
      “I mount summits for world leaders.”

      Oh, the lies and delusion.

      • Bravo on the list! And don’t forget, she was an INTERNATIONALLY SYNDICATED tech columnist. Because OMG Calcutta!

        • Wasn’t she in three newspapers max? I have to go back and look at those Tribune Media Services posts when I get a minute.

          • It was really a small number, and I believe only one or two were even in medium sized US cities.

            Also she was only there for maybe six months or so before they booted her for writing about herself instead of discussing general and emerging trends and issues in social media. The word was that Dadsers got her the job, but she had no intellectual curiosity about the subject. I’m sure that hiring a team of unpaid interns to do her work for her didn’t endear her to the Tribune Media Services people. I had dealings with that company in a past life in the early 1990s, and at the time they were very professional and respected. But as we all know, newspapers in general had great difficulty in understanding how to survive and thrive when the Internet started taking over the news business. Donkey was working there during their last throes.

          • Column started March 1, 2011 and she was fired by Sept. 2011. I couldn’t find the list of newspapers the column ran in.

          • A friend of Petey’s definitely got her the job. I wonder if he still speaks to the Baughers.

          • Oh My God! Geez, Donk, could you be a little more obvious?

            Dear Julia: I’ve moved in with my fiancé and, in the past few months, I’ve noticed him receiving unusual texts on his cell, locking his computer, etc. The whole Weinergate situation, coupled with the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a love child, added to the Tiger Woods nonsense of last year, has made me even more neurotic. I’m no Sherlock Holmes but I know there are ways to find things out online. Any tips for me? I’d like to nose around ethically, if possible.
            — E-Snoop Dogg

      • The one that stings her the most is that nobody will marry her. She was SO FUCKING SMUG and assumed she was going to be married before 30 – and to a gorgeous, charismatic, famous, tech founder with bucks to burn

        • This alone would leave anyone else to cringe and be off social media for years at least. What. a. narcissistic. phony.

  4. Bahahaha. And now Jon, with whom Julz is also apparently on a first name basis, is at the helm of a successful podcast empire. If only she had given Barack more details about her assignations! That’s probably how Jon got hired. Everyone knows Obama loves some hot gos.

  5. I have to wonder if Donkey promoted herself from intern to “legislative correspondent” — don’t they usually have B.A. degrees and do actual work? Was she really entrusted with interacting with constituents instead of making copies and coffee and taking about herself nonstop?

    • There are real jobs and then there are fake jobs designed for big donors’ inept kids. Sometimes the titles are the same.

  6. Wait. Was this “looking back” post recently written? If so, what a slap in the face to her new beau! Because if things had gone in a different direction, she wouldn’t be with him now. Also, if this is recent, I see it as her letting him know she wasn’t always a woo.

    • She wrote it in 2009 for nonsociety.com, the horizontal-scrolling blog she sold for fuck you money.

      Sorry I didn’t make that clear in the original post, but I often write these entries on the run. Emended. With softness.

  7. I think the Obama campaign was probably looking for someone with her credentials too. You know, a white girl from the suburbs who identifies as a Republican and has worked on a Kirk campaign. She would have been a great fit.

    • Yeah, she “walked right on by” because she was drinking the republican koolaid her dad had fed her. She was at this fundraiser in 2009 but that pic with the gigantic maw was taken in 2010.

      We know the only reason she was “interested in politics” at all was so that her father could finagle her into a school like Georgetown after her disgraceful first year at IU, which she’s conveniently scrubbed from any of her resumes, er, bios, and never ever mentions. Georgetown was Plan B after Donkey failed to get into any of the colleges she applied for, and Kirk was the ticket. Donkey couldn’t even get in to Yale, Princeton or Stanford as a legacy student, that speaks volumes.

      She really is the queen of delusion and revisionist history. Pay attention, Dodi Berkowitz! This is who she is!

      • Anything to get Dadsers to look her way (and keep those checks coming). Donkey is VERY FOND of telling people that her parents didn’t love her enough during our jennet’s childhood.

    • She posted a pic of her absentee ballot in 2008, proudly showing off that she voted for Obama.
      Of course she was living in New York and yammering about being SUCH a New Yorker then…

  8. ALSO, back in early 2017 I remember thinking that Julia could have totally marketed herself in a manner to get work, written essays somewhere, started a podcast, even as a talking head on various networks.

    Like spun it as someone who used to be in politics, but had checked out b/c she didnt think it was that exciting or important but now (2017 now) it was time to get serious, do some navel gazing (her favorite) and figure out why white women voted as they voted. She could have been a concerned Republican or an energized Democrat.

  9. I feel like I should know (or have been told before) but I don’t remember how or why she was banned from Fox?

    • She was supposed to be on RED EYE with Greg Gutfeld and canceled at the last minute, feigning illness. Dumb Donkey proceeded to blog and tweet from a plane en route to NYC. Gutfeld went on the air and said someone named “Mulia Mallison” would never again be on Fox.

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