We’ll get back to Donkey & Dave in just a minute, bunnies. I promise! But our dear Rhoda was freaking out over Jordan Reid’s ramshackle brain and insisted I take a look.
Wow. Just. Wow. Nonstop whining about having the sadz because of her divorce – Did Kendrick take her to court for taking the kids out of state? Yet Jordo manages to strike glamorous pose after glamorous pose while experiencing the emotional turmoil of the ages. Most of her posts and poses seem tied to shills. Truly obnoxious shills.
Jordo has a teaser about the horrors of sugar (poison) in Halloween candy. When expanding the post, I was shocked to discover that she provides no healthy alternatives to Snickers and Tootsie Rolls, no apples or oranges, not even sugar-free candy. Instead, Jordacted recommends feeding shitty frozen pizza to your kids in what is revealed to be a shill for Red Baron Pizza! Sixteen gregdamn fauxtos of Jordo, her daughter, and the dog eating pepperoni cardboard. Christ, I would never feed my family frozen pizza, though I have been known to bake cookies containing OMG! sugar.
Other posts are equally appalling. Ali’s “Mother of the Year” successor took her son out of school twice this week, so
she the family could go to the beach. Jordo allegedly can’t afford to send her daughter to preschool, but she can afford to live next door to the Kardashians, namedropping them on more than one post. And the whining! Sob Sister bawls her eyes out, stopping to shill a dress, and concluding the post with a pity party about having no speshul someone for whom to wear that comped dress. Boo Hoo!
Nisha Moodley could learn a thing or two from Jordacted. Hell, I hope her exploited kids are getting paid in something other than frozen pizza. I’d hate to see them end up like Gary Coleman.
Halloween Bottom Brain Teaser: Spot the Son of Sam and win a spooooky carton of Franzia! 👻🎃