Halloween TMI Weakly: Jordan Reid Snatches “Mother Of The Year” Tiara From Ali Shanti

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We’ll get back to Donkey & Dave in just a minute, bunnies. I promise! But our dear Rhoda was freaking out over Jordan Reid’s ramshackle brain and insisted I take a look.

Wow. Just. Wow. Nonstop whining about having the sadz because of her divorce – Did Kendrick take her to court for taking the kids out of state? Yet Jordo manages to strike glamorous pose after glamorous pose while experiencing the emotional turmoil of the ages. Most of her posts and poses seem tied to shills. Truly obnoxious shills.

Jordo has a teaser about the horrors of sugar (poison) in Halloween candy. When expanding the post, I was shocked to discover that she provides no healthy alternatives to Snickers and Tootsie Rolls, no apples or oranges, not even sugar-free candy. Instead, Jordacted recommends feeding shitty frozen pizza to your kids in what is revealed to be a shill for Red Baron Pizza! Sixteen gregdamn fauxtos of Jordo, her daughter, and the dog eating pepperoni cardboard. Christ, I would never feed my family frozen pizza, though I have been known to bake cookies containing OMG! sugar.

Other posts are equally appalling. Ali’s “Mother of the Year” successor took her son out of school twice this week, so she the family could go to the beach. Jordo allegedly can’t afford to send her daughter to preschool, but she can afford to live next door to the Kardashians, namedropping them on more than one post. And the whining! Sob Sister bawls her eyes out, stopping to shill a dress, and concluding the post with a pity party about having no speshul someone for whom to wear that comped dress. Boo Hoo!

Nisha Moodley could learn a thing or two from Jordacted. Hell, I hope her exploited kids are getting paid in something other than frozen pizza. I’d hate to see them end up like Gary Coleman.

Never travel without a tube of lube in your back pocket.

http://www.ramshackleglam.com/

Halloween Bottom Brain Teaser: Spot the Son of Sam and win a spooooky carton of Franzia! 👻🎃

81 COMMENTS

  1. While I’m no Jordan fan, shill’s gotta pay some bills. What other options does she have for a career at this point? I mean, I guess she could get an office job, but let’s be real …

      • I feel ya. I don’t even like it when the normals pimp out their kids for only social media likes. I once was taking a picture of something just randomly outside near a mall, and someone’s kid came up to me, ready to pose. Her mom then came, scooped her up and looked quite embarrassed.

        That said, people love pix of kids! … Take them away, and all you have are pix of another skinny blonde desperately holding onto what’s left of her youth …

    • You may recall how well that previous office “job” went. I believe it was the “truly spectacular career implosion” she mentions in her About Me.

      But she went to Harvard. And she can write (I’m not a fan of her style, but she does have a style). She could probably work in PR or marketing, at the very least.

      • She says she’s planning to be an “influencer wrangler,” whatever that is.

        I am no fan of Jordumb, but let us note that she has finished three BOOK, silly though they are; has two sweet-seeming kids, though I wish she wouldn’t make them work for her; and has (presumably) gotten her parents to unbelt some of her mother’s hard-earned money for a fancy new house. Are you dying of jealousy, Donkey? Clutching your stolen tiara?

        • I want someone to sue her pilates ass and for Jordo to agree to let Judge Judith Sheindlin decide the case. “You’re a huslah, Miss Reid!”

  2. I have been wondering for many years (okay, three maybe?) when RG would finally appear on RD. Today is that day. I have watched this slow-moving tragedy unfold for a long time–it’s been as predicable as noted by the many (few?) RG-watchers, but I can’t stop watching!

    • What’s weird is that she won’t say WHY this split happened. It’s all “I’m so devastated but it’s no one’s fault.” It just comes off so cagey.

      • Jordan did say that she got fired by her management company and needed to reinvent herself professionally. She also felt like she needed to be in LA to have any real hope of professional success. And, finally, she said that she was blindsided when Kenny decided not to come to LA with her. Reading between the lines, I’d guess that the marriage was in the pits and her move to LA was a logical turning point for everyone.

    • Blame Rhoda. I’ve paid very little attention to Jordan. The last time I looked at Ramshackle Scam was a few years back. Glamour shots, carefully choreographed overshares, shills – I was bored shitless. Also, reading her claptrap, one would never know she attended Harvard.

  3. Stealing a tiara… I see what you did there! Gilly > Greg

    • Now, now, it wasn’t that impressive. Who can forget Donk sneaking into Jordo’s apartment and running into the night with her tiara? One of my favorite Judy-in-horrible-New-York-City moments.

  4. Jordan is a grifter just like Donkey. Birds of a feather, an’ all that.

    Look at this lazy bimbette applying for financial aid for her daughter’s pre-school. Seriously, her parents are millionaires, Kendrick must be earning over 100k and this lazy piece of fluff is taking financial aid from the coffers? She is disgusting. Get a job, you lazy bitch.

    The poor me post about how she had to take “gently used” school uniform from the financial aid people, and then the next week she’s off buying herself a whole new set of black diamond earrings.

    And for all her “fame was taken from me” posts about Always Skinny in Philadelphia and bitching about it was because Rob dumped her, well now she and Rob are following each other on Instagram. Guess she’s been busy back in LA.

    She’s just Donkey Lite, she always was.

    • Dumping Jordo was probably the best personal/professional decision Rob McElhenney ever made. Kaitlin Olson is a great comedienne and someone I could imagine having a beer with in real life. Not so with Jordacted.

  5. Jordan’s kids are gorgeous. I just hope that Kendrick will be the stable role model they need as they grow up, cause God knows they’re not going to be able to look to their mother for that.

    Jordan’s mirror photo is insane. That is quite the body contortion. Julia would be proud.

    Re: David Berkowitz’ less attractive cousin: is that what people would call a weak chin? Because that chin looks pretty weak to me.

  6. Jordan didn’t take the kids out of state. She just moved them several hundred miles away from their father and the only schools they’ve ever known, halfway through the school year.

    I get her not going into detail about the divorce. But she keeps dropping major hints about it being dramatic — that Kendrick sprung unexpected legal shit on her, that she had the rug pulled out from under her, etc. She admitted to friends that she had to convince him to sell the house in the first place. Looks like he didn’t go for the “And let me use the proceeds to buy a house in LA” part of the plan.

    The worst was the poor-me blog about applying for financial aid for her daughter’s preschool. Every blog post that isn’t a shill is about some new purchase she’s made – jewelry, clothes, ugly house shit, shoes, pool chairs, trampolines, whatever. As someone whose family very much needed financial aid to get their children through school, even though they skimped on everything possible (including our birthday and holiday gifts), that is a bridge too far. Is she too stupid or just too shameless to know it was a bad idea to reveal such a cunt move in a blog post?

    • It is so unbelievably dumb to take kids out of superb public schools and replant them in private schools your family can’t afford. News flash: responsible parents often have to put career opportunities on hold to do what’s best for their kids.

    • I know someone who often asked for special treatment because she and her husband are so poor. They both come from privileged backgrounds, receive money from both sets of parents, but he is a grad student and she is too busy being smug to work. They had the older child on a full ride scholarship at a local private school and their younger one also had a full ride to preschool. They decided to pull the kids out of school for 6 weeks so they could spend some time touring through France and a couple of other expensive countries. You can’t imagine how stunned they were when their daughter was not offered a scholarship for the following year, and her son didn’t get into the school.

  7. are there not laws that restrict kids from being photo’d/filmed in advertisements?

    or is it ok if the parents approve it?

    • Good question. The Red Baron Pizza post is obviously nothing but an advertisement, in which her daughter is seen with the product several times. I wonder how child labor and exploitation laws impact professional blogger content.

    • Let’s not go crazy here. As parent/guardian she’d just at the most have to sign a photo release. Blogging isn’t something that falls within Union laws.

      • At some point there will be legislation. If it hasn’t happened already, an adult will sue Mommy and/or Daddy for using child images as a source of blogging advertising revenue, especially if he’s holding the gregdamn product in his hand.

        • I hope so. Inadequate as the Jackie Coogan laws are for child performers, they’re better than nothing, which is what blog kids get.

        • I watched a woman at the beach throw her baby in the air while her husband took pictures for so long that I was really concerned about shaken baby syndrome. Then she posed her older child on a skimboard, not riding it, just posed on it for maybe 30 minutes. The kid seemed resigned. She completely ignored them while they began to play and looked at the photos for awhile then went back to tossing her baby in the air while her husband took photos. It was such a rotten way to interact with her kids, but i’m Sure it looked great on her insta.

  8. Off topic but I happened upon Donkey’s love story about meeting Derpin and I thought how interchangeable it was with her recent proclamation. Maybe she just needs to keep a form letter on file for next time.

    THE MAN I MET THE NIGHT OF [ ] IS NOW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER [ ] MONTHS, AND IT FEELS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN ANY RELATIONSHIP I’VE EVER HAD. HE IS THE KINDEST, MOST HONEST, MOST HUMBLE AND GIVING HUMAN BEING I’VE EVER MET. IT’S LIKE EVERY MOVIE CLICHE: HE MAKES ME WANT TO BE A BETTER WOMAN. I LIKE TO BELIEVE [ ] SENT HIM TO ME. I KNOW THAT I CHERISH HIM ALL THE MORE FOR IT.

    • HA! Lather. Rinse. Repeat. In the same file she probably has the form letter for the breakup post that she’s forced each boyfriend to write.

          • Jack McCain? The son of the US senator? Did she date him? Was it serious? VERY serious? What about her career as a … um… her work as a … person who blogs about, um… eating cupcakes? She couldn’t sacrifice her career for the life of a military wife, could she? How on earth did she handle this dilemma? Are they still in each other’s lives? As friends?

  9. She invites a lot of reading between the lines about the divorce, but why on earth would she essentially eliminate their father from the lives of the children?!? Why move to LA? Why is he allowing it?

  10. Guys –

    Jordan doesn’t hurt people the way Donks does. She’s self-aware, loves her family, and is a pretty hard worker from what I can tell.

    I love reading the Donk goss as much as anyone, but including Jordan and hating on her for having sponsored posts and expressing sadness about a divorce (?!) is too much.

    • Not really. The divorce proceedings seem quite shady, and Jordo has helped to fuel speculation.

      I guess shilling for frozen pizza in a photoshoot constitutes some sort of work, but certainly not hard work and pimping out the kids in these shills is rather creepy.

      For the record, I’ve posted about Jordo twice in 4+ years.

      • You never talk about her, Gilly, and what should be apparent to anyone is that we are literally only discussing what she herself has made public. No one is out to harm Jordacted, for heaven’s sake.

    • Have you been reading Jordan’s content? Characterizing it as “expressing sadness about divorce” is a very incomplete evaluation. She’s also dropping plenty of hints about her children’s father pulling the rug out from under her and other implied wrongs. If she doesn’t want people to speculate, she should stop fueling speculation.

      Honestly, the best thing for Jordan and her family would be if she gave up her internet connection for at least a year. There’s no way she can stay off social media, though. She needs the attention like oxygen.

      • Give up the internet connection? It’s her main source of income, yes? Though there’s certainly something a Harvard-educated woman could do other than post vanity shots and shill pizza.

    • This is Jordan’s public, monetized content. We’re the public. This is our reaction to her public content that she shares with the public for money.

      I hope things work out for all of them and that the parents find a way to coparent well together at such a distance, and that the kids grow up happy and healthy.

      I’m still allowed to think Jordan’s a silly, thirsty lady. Based on her public persona.

    • Nope. It’s not too much. When people exploit their life (including kids and divorce) they have to expect not everyone is going to agree with the choice. She needs a therapist not a shilling blog. She’s vapid and bores me personally but she fits the image-based donkey persona.

  11. Kendrick gave up his band dreams, buckled down and got a real job. The fact that Jordo wouldn’t do the same was likely the end of their marriage IMO. She’s too special to be an average married mother like everyone else. I hope she finds some mental/emotional stability for the kids sake.

    • I genuinely cannot imagine someone so dependent on external validation from strangers being able to show up as an equal partner in a marriage. Neither can I imagine that person showing up with emotional availability for his or her children. It’s a very immature, unquenchable neediness. She will never get enough of it, but she’ll ruin her life trying. She might not totally ruin her kids’ lives, too, but they will suffer the most severe collateral damage of anyone in this equation.

        • Look at those artificially pointed toes!! Donk would be proud.

          You can tell this is attempt #5 to get a good shot because of all the other failed handprints in the sand.

          Those poor kids, really weird and sad to watch an over the hill single mom flip out and go full Fameball. 🙁

        • Ugh reminds me of Elizabeth Hurley getting dragged for making her teenage son take provocative pictures of her. She starting tagging him as *photographer*. The older they get the more insecure they get.

    • I’m shocked, shocked I say, that her marriage to a guy she’d known six weeks didn’t work out.

      That said, idgaf what anyone says Kirkland frozen pizza is hella good when you’re lazy, as I am, and frequently inebriated, as I am. No shame for my frozen pizza game.

      • I saw what you did there, shilldebeast, but I’m still not feeding Kirkland frozen pizza to my kids. winky emoticon

  12. What i dont understand about the pizza ad photos is serving it and eating it on the fromt porch of a house

    Am i missing something?

    Is that a california thing?

    • It’s a “I need an aspirational backdrop but my front door is the best I can do, what’s going on inside is tragic” thing.

  13. It seems like Kendrick grew up tremendously in the past decade. Quit the band, got an MBA at YSB, took a real job at a respected tech giant, was a good father to his kids, provided so that Jordan didn’t have to work, and tolerated her blasting their lives over the internet. Jordan seems like essentially the same person who was fired from a gimme office manager position and ended up blogging on the Sideways Blog Start Up with JuLiar.

    Her stock as a potential partner can not be high (neurotic, high maintenance, doesn’t work, has 2 kids, “wrong side” of 30, etc). Guys who would meet Jordan’s requirements in terms of income or lifestyle can almost certainly do better. Especially in Los Angeles. I don’t think she would date someone ugly or awkward like Donkey is, so I can’t see what the path forward is for her.

    Also, her house doesn’t look fancy. I’m sure it’s expensive because of location, but just like her house in SV, nothing special.

    • Jordan was working the whole time, though (as she was while Kendrick was in school). She published three books, had a store, did sponsored blog stuff with some pretty big clients, made some online video stuff, shot a couple pilots that didn’t work out, and basically never stopped hustling. It doesn’t seem like she ever wanted Kendrick to “provide” for her, or to stop working (that certainly isn’t the family model she grew up with, either).

      • She actually says that she has typically been the larger earner between the two. People may not respect what she does for a living, but, she does work. Her assertion that she HAD to move to LA for jobs, is a load. She filmed pilots, wrote books, garnered plenty of clients and wrote her lifestyle site quite effectively from. NYC, Tarrytown and, yes, San Jose.

        Her marriage problems sounded like nothing more than middle-aged ennui. Maybe Kendrick didn’t pitch in with the housework enough. But she has said there was no cheating, they love one another still. She has also said she has always been up at nights, worrying about getting this or that done. Worrying about stuff that, after thinking about it is really not anything to worry about. So the “I always have to do everything or it doesn’t get done” type, when some of the stuff she feels HAS to get done may not be stuff Kendrick felt needed to get done. Maybe Kendrick left the remodeling to her because he really didn’t see the need for an “island” built out of PVC tubes in his kitchen. I sense he is more relaxed and maybe they just didn’t fit. She says their counselor called her out for some of her behaviors.

        Actually, this move is a perfect example of this. Did she HAVE to move or did she just freak herself out, get herself all in to tizzy of worry and make quick decisions to sole “problems” that weren’t really problems. That and just running away from any place or thing that might remind her of him and the pain of a failed marriage.

        Now, if anyone wants to talk about her taste in jewelry, decor, remodeling fails, etc. She and I just do NOT have the same taste at all. I shuddered, often.

  14. All the stuff she blogged about her divorce is weird.

    She announced the separation and like, a month later, said she had finalized the divorce, which is just not possible.

    Then, she says she bought the house in Calabasas with her money, which implies she had a ton of cash in the bank, or got a huge mortgage, which would require a ton of income, and now she is playing the destitute card (low-key Halloween, daycare affordability issues etc).

    Very strange…

  15. Speaking of mother of the year skankatron posts about her daughter’s birthday, “Happy birthday to me and my daughter…” not made up…

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