Stop The Presses! Congratulations To Nisha Moodley & Noah No Vowels On Their 3-Month Commitment Container!

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What’s a woo pair-bonding without the gobbledygook? Take it away, Noodles!

nishamoodley𝑰 𝑭𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬⁣

We’ve spent the entire 3 years of our relationship (we got pregnant within a month of being together) prioritizing everything else above Us. Preparing for baby. Money. Moving. Welcoming baby. Money. Moving again. My sick father. His job transition. Managing a household. Parenting. Parenting. Parenting.⁣

Our relationship has shown the signs of neglect.⁣
And the further we drifted, the harder to return.⁣

The truth is, in the last few years, I fell out of love. With him, and with the Divine.⁣

I went through a period of needing to feel all of my necessary, honorable, and stashed-away rage. The pain of my oppression, my mother’s, others’. ⁣

I cried with a kind of fury I hadn’t felt since I was a lonely and hurt 5 year old girl who screamed into her pillow and tried to rip apart her undershirts — destroying things no one would notice were destroyed.⁣

I felt my anger rise up, purged from the recesses of my lineage and my liver, and when the shame of expressing it was too much to bear, I saw the shame and rage burrow between my brows. Lines of longing and despair.⁣

I honor this.⁣
All of it.⁣
A necessary part of my becoming.⁣

And then, JOY.⁣

I’ve learned, not just intellectually but in my bones, the necessity of allowing joy amidst pain. Of making space for it, receiving it deeply, enjoying it fully when it’s present.⁣

Without joy, the rage seethes and nothing changes for the better. The joy alchemizes with the pain and rage into clarity and action. True aliveness.⁣

And so I invited joy.⁣
Reveled in it.⁣
Basked in it.⁣
And let it dance with the pain,⁣
both welcome guests in my heart.⁣

And I started to fall in love with the Divine again. Slowly remembering what it’s like to live IN love. Listening. Embracing the complexity of welcoming life and death simultaneously.⁣

And then Noah and I turned towards each other and acknowledged the truth: that regardless of how functional we were as co-parents, we were no longer lovers. Our romance was hanging on by a single thread. And we had a choice to make…⁣

We chose to go all in.⁣

To make a commitment to each other, with real vows…⁣

It took some digging to discover “commitment” consists of three months. Big whip. I guess she needed some attention, and/or was trying to drum up business for the “sold out” 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 | 𝐀 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠⁣ goddess fest in SF? Noah should be relieved he didn’t sign any legal documents.

Re: No Vowels, he’s out at Summit and has a new job. No, not in construction but organizing corporate adventure type events. Tim Cook & team are sure to adore Bali! Maybe Julia Allison, advanced publicity strategist, can come up with a PR plan?

Bottom Picture! Always the blowsy bridesmaid …

90 COMMENTS

    • So it looks like maybe a “handfast,” but maybe also a lot of gobbledygook that really means “we’re committed loving that we are coparents, but we aren’t going to be together.” OR maybe she’s expecting another baby.

      You’re right, Annie–one really can’t tell. The writing is incomprehensible.

        • First in her class!

          She posted more mumbo jumbo in the comments. They wrote their vows in a nest in Bali:

          nishamoodley…To make a commitment to each other, with real vows and detailed agreements and a ritual to signify the end of something and the beginning of something new.⁣

          We wrote vows in a “nest” above a river in Bali, and spoke them at the water temple with our son. A 3 month “handfast” – a container for our deep commitment. ⁣

          And in choosing to live IN love — embracing life and death at once — love is blossoming between us. It feels miraculous and beautiful and so very trustable.⁣

          So I am taking this in, the joy and pain and terror and ecstasy of dying and living into love.⁣

          Since coming home, we have been navigating what it looks like to actually live into these agreements. Anyone who has been in long term relationships will know that this is not always easy! But we’re committed.⁣

    • I think I’ve mentioned it a few times here before, but I’ve seen Nisha and Noah interact before, including within the past year, and she treated him with obvious condescension and disdain. He seems like a genuinely good guy, and their interactions came across as very toxic.

      • Unfortunately over the years I have observed women who are total narcissist who treat their husbands like that

      • This relationship would go against odds if it were healthy. They’d probably be happier co-parenting separately instead of living together given that this was an accidental (I’m just going to try to believe that) pregnancy with a stranger. She got what she wanted (baby), but she’s pushing the relationship because that’s what she’s selling.

  1. In typically Noodles fashion, not a word about how he felt about all of this. And not sure how this would change the constant arguing she says they do.

    • This. He was never that into you. Was spotted right from the get go, and having sex in the desert after meeting for a day and then having a child equals not how to do it. Blessings to the Raven one and kukuus to the other two.

      (PS getting errors trying to access website had to click on an old comment in the browe=ser then get here.)

      • jfaing to say i agree with you totally. body language in top photo: she’s leaning in and has the full around-the-neck-embrace thing going, when he’s just holding onto her for the sake of the photo; if anything he’s leaning back, away from her.

      • You’re probably getting errors because we’ve moved to a new host but the account with the old host is not yet terminated. When the SSL certificate goes up over the weekend, there should be no more problems.

  2. They didn’t fall out of love. They never knew each other in the first place. Way to spin a one-night-stand turned baby into something for the kid’s scrap book. I love how she thinks her manifesto is ground-breaking. Read back three years ago, the basement already called this.
    So she just publicly guilted him into staying for another three years! Is pathologically humiliating your partner publicly part of women’s empowerment? So evolved.

    • I remember he had a cool vintage Airstream he was fixing up in Utah. Of course he had to scrap that because Miss Must Live in the Most Expensive City demanded it. And they fight about money yet this hasn’t stopped her from her self-indulgent trips to Bali several times a year for “work.”

      I feel sorry for him. Wrap it next time, Novowels.

  3. One thing I like to tell the couples who ask me to officiate their weddings is it’s best to get married *after* they’ve fallen out of love and argue constantly and have a toddler, because those are the unions that really last.

    • I’m glad I didn’t take your advice when dumping Rainbow for the 20th time.

      “Rainy, I am crying with a fury I’ve not known since stealing my relative’s Barbie Doll, and Dadsers caught me and nearly made me apologize. Let us invite joy and dirt fest dancing back into our lives. I promise never to go through your emails and Facebook page if you promise to marry me. Choose to forget those groupies and let us commit with real vows!”

      Needless to say, I got the hell out of Dodge in seconds flat. A 20 year old with daddy issues never seemed so inviting.

  4. Jesus, Judy, put your split knish away, you brute. Panty elastic doesn’t last long with what you put it through, much like your relationships.

  5. Sorry if this posts twice but, what in the actual fuck is she saying. That two dopey morons, after realizing they didn’t love one another, looked in to one another’s eyes and decided to get married? How very Teen Mom of them.

    This should end well.

    • No, it sounds like they went on a pretty vacation and in that pretty place under unrealistic conditions, in a place where there are no cares in the world, decided to give themselves three whole months to wipe the slate clean and work everything out.

      I hope he finds a better woman next time.

      • I see the additional details in Gilly’s comment above. Only in woo world would a three month handfast…which is really just a handshake…translate to a DEEP commitment. I’ve had longer commitments with zit cream.

        • I had to change that fucking headline three times because the term of their “commitment” was hidden in the footnotes. I thought I was reading Donk’s BOOK proposal.

      • NoVo’s no prize, from what I can see. I think this whole gang tends to find the partners they deserve. My sympathy is 100% reserved for the children who have to grow up with these parents.

      • You had a child and now they speak of commitment, what morons seriously. They should be ashamed you had a one night stand a woman who is 40 with man not ready for fatherhood let alone a monogamous relationship. Girl you are the postal 40 woman so typical talking so much about knelling before single mothers well sometime you shouldn’t speak so soon right poodles.

    • I bet their lease runs out in 3 months, so they’ve decided to pretend to be together for that time to reassure their grifting market who have to think they’re oh-so-enlightened. Once they’ve hashed out all the new living and custody arrangements, she’ll make a lengthy, weepy announcement for both of them about conscious uncoupling.

    • If my husband/partner/S.O./co-parent of my child posted such a thing for his MANY FOLLOWERS to read about how he FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH ME and basically it was OUR CHILD’s FAULT BECAUSE WE PRIORITIZED CHILD and blah, blah, blah, everybody but ME), but somehow he committed to giving me another 3 months–my first move would be to call an attorney.

      The condescenion is off the charts.

      • This. Noodles is as big of a narcissistic, self-aggrandizing asshole as the rest of the woos. If my husband embarrassed me publicly to this extent, I’d be seeing him in divorce court.

  6. Good for Noah for going through volunteer training in something practical that actually helps people, and for actually having a community (someplace he’s lived for more than 5 days) to help. It’s a nice change from the woo’s typical “training” of reading 2 chapters of their friend’s online Sacred Divine Breathwork Shaman Crystal Therapy Manual and then proclaiming themselves to be an officially ordained Thought Leader in the Sacred Temple of Embodied Divine Healing Breathwork (i.e., a dirty sofa in Jaaahhhaaass Johnson’s sub-sub-subleased backyard.)

    • My 82 year old mother went through this same program and got certified. It is like neighborhood watch for disasters. Sort of a paramedic-lite, civil defense squad kind of volunteer group.

        • She did have a little uniform type outfit she posed in, but I’m not remembering a helmet. I’d have to dig for the pic, this was circa fall 2006. I remember it because it was maybe a week before she was diagnosed with lung cancer.

  7. Inspired by changes in the footer at the new RBD, Avocado will LITERALLY no longer be using the term “retarded.”

    David Block
    16 October at 11:21 ·
    I’d like to publicly declare that I desire to change some use of language that no longer serves me. I invite you to do the same. The words we speak are powerful. They literally reverberate and interact with your surroundings (so do your thoughts btw). I am actively removing divisive language from my vocabulary. Phrases like “God damnit” “stupid, retarded, idiot, or anything angry”. “The idea of SHOULD or OUGHT TO do something, and “CAN’T” are on my first list to get under control. What would you like the see evolve in your vocabulary?

    Love, Blockhead

  8. Three months is “all in”? Most leases are longer. Although I guess leases are just licenses to Air B&B in wooville.

    • Thanks, Popcorn, but we’re not accepting donations right now. There were enough batshit insane behind-the-scenes shenanigans going on during that fundraiser for a four-episode sitcom storyline with major character arc. The good news is that we got enough money to revamp the site, move it to a new server, and keep it going for at least a year.

      • Hey, wait! For a mere $77, you TOO can get…

        I expect at least a photo of a fake attorney and a cuddle….nah.

        Gilly, you are intrepid, and so is Rhoda. Resist. I’m so sorry you were hacked by boggers.

      • Please let us know if donation time rolls around again. Mind got shanghaied by the patreon mess before my first monthly pledge could go through. Site looks great, and so fast!

  9. For $77 you can do some breathwork while sitting around the fire. Noodles will even serve you “simple” couscous for dinner.

          • We are fast approaching the holiday season, and we all know that means: sweet potato turds!

            #nevahforget

          • Buying* a whole new set of matching Christmas sweaters and childish pajamas for whomever she can coerce to spend the holibrays with her.

            *”Buying”… who am I kidding? Repurposing the holibray sweaters of people who no longer speak to her: “Myka is about Derpin’s size; I’ll make her wear his old polyester Craymas sweater.”

      • Is Noah allowed in the house when she’s holding one of her suckerfests, or are he and Croooow! banished to the woods?

    • “All womxn and non-binary folks welcome.⁣”
      But what about FOLX???

      Meanwhile my world just collided with the woos. Mackenna Held commented on that linked Noodles FB post. One of my dear friends calls Held her “gooroo” so I had to check her out recently. She is as batty and wooey as it comes, currently in France trying to regrift old marketing courses to the tune of 2.5 k a person so she can finance her current pregnancy. The only good thing is my dear friend doesn’t have the money to give her.

      Also, my friend wanted me to help Held out with some graphic design work and I was tempted just for the entertainment value but I knew this wooster would balk at my 35/hr rate even though she talks about offering 300/half hr consultations as being at a low price point she never thought she would offer again. (That came after she only sold 5 of the 20 spots for her regurgitated marketing course, which is still 12.5 k more than she deserves smh.)

  10. I dont understand the constant rediscovering oneself over and over again with the woos

    Nor the always accompanying naval gazing

    Who has time for that anyway

    • One of RBD’s funniest posts involved Rain’s list of self-help slop that he’d read or enrolled in during the prior year. Just unbelievable! I pray this clown never has children.

  11. I just wandered thru NoVowels’ Instagram page and there are lots of happy, loving posts over the past three years, and no indication of any problems. I guess this just goes to show that we never really know the whole story.

    • This is the decent thing to do. If you’re going to post to the world about your family, at least be respectful to your child, who will read these things someday.

      I’m sure Noodles thinks this is open and helpful and people can learn from it, woo woo de woo, but in the end, this is a bad chapter in your family scrapbook and nobody but you and novowels cares. If it had to be written (if one can call this “written”), the only appropriate outlets I can think of are your own diary or a private letter to novowels.

      Look at that, I said “appropriate.” What am I thinking?

      • Meanwhile, the woos are patting Noodles on the back for her “transparency” and “sharing your vulnerability.” Everyone from “Mother of the Year” Shitbag Shanti to Ryan Allis. A tribe of enablers. No wonder Donkey loves ’em.

      • I think it is awful that she posted something this personal in a public forum. It seems incredibly manipulative.

        • Exactly. Now it will be even more difficult to extricate himself from her clutches. And when he does, Noodles has already set him up as villain.

          • I’m still trying to figure out what this off-the-charts rage she talked about stemmed from. Sounds like all the things she listed are just typical life happenings, and Noah seems to be more than accommodating for even hanging in there, if she was being such a hosebeast or rage and fury. What was her gripe, that she didn’t get to go on enough little fancy vacations with her paid friends?

  12. Nisha wasn’t getting the good D and wanted some strange/the divine D. Now she wants Noah to do more chores and is willing to settle for the semi-divine.

  13. I just wanted to say that the “Categories” section of the new layout is the greatest thing on blog design since horizontal scrolling.

    I love to spend hours walking down memory lane reliving the Burro’s shenanigans and the woos’ (mis)adventures.

    I predict that Gilly will sell RBD for f-u money in 3 years, maybe 5 because of the economy.

    • Thanks, Wolf! We haven’t even categorized one-tenth of the archives as of yet, so more categories are sure to pop up.

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