Look At Me, Daddy! Donk Still Hoping To Pull Off Profethunal Cathual Persona

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The new (old) FB profile fauxto …

… which was taken at the same time as the previous (old) profile fauxto:

Is Donk about to sign a major endorsement deal – Coobie? Sony? Money Map? – and needs to downplay the slacker hippie lifestyle of the past few years? Or is she trying to tell Dadsers that she’s finally serious about her career? No more bald DJs and plant medicine, aka drugs? Well, except on weekends and all her goddess besities are going “mainstream,” anyway.

The internet never forgets, Donkey. Neither does RBD.

79 COMMENTS

  1. I smell a reinvention on the horizon! I’m just not seeing how “makeupless yogini with bangs” and “adorable, quirky writer lady” and “Sex and the City ruined my life” add up to a sustainable costume for Our Judy.

    • Guessing she won’t be going to Burning Man this year, because it’s off-brand for whatever the new brand is supposed to be?

      • Grifty is convinced she’s passing on Camp Septic. I’m beginning to wonder myself, especially since this new (old) brand keeps rearing its maniacal head and nosejobs.

        • She’s sort of the kind that stubbornly doubles down, so if she manages to swing an invite in another Camp and can assemble a small posse, she’ll probably go and try to cultivate a new group of gullible idiots who won’t bother to fact-check her resume.

          • A resume really tells one nothing about a person, Grifty. See below for an example that’s much more helpful to potential clients and employers.

            As an activist and strategic advisor, Allison teaches how to harness the power of both mainstream and social media to create a more conscious planet by raising awareness for transformational experiences, collective human potential, collaborative innovation, omni-considerate thought leadership and regenerative community building. She advises visionaries, artists, scientists, entrepreneurs and philanthropists to reimagine our world such that it is free, loving, healthy and joyous for all beings.

          • “omni-considerate” in that kills me every time. First, because it’s not a fucking word! And second, because Judy is mono-considerate, with an intense laser focus on what’s in it for her. Might as well learn how to be vegan from a cat.

      • I think she’s persona non grata but of course will spin it like she’s too good for BM. She’s quite bitter after any kind of breakup.

        • Maybe she’ll spin it that she’s too monogamous for a polyamorous camp. It’s actually true, but of course she’d never reveal she’s burned too many bridges at Camp Septic and no one wants her there.

    • When I saw John Mulvaney and that new girl gal on James Corden the other night, I was reminded that donk knows Mulvaney from school and that it seems like in the past she has tried to emulate that same gal. Need to mention that that same gal wears bangs? It was a weird coincidence.

      • John Mulvaney’s wife is Annamarie Tendler.

        Annamarie Tendler used to date Ricky Van Veen of College Humor, and Julia was all into Ricky Van Veen at that time.

        They split and Ricky Van Veen married Allison Williams of ‘Girls’ etc.

  2. She dresses up like this, has her tits out, acts like an asshole in public, and *RBNS* is to blame for ruining her reputation? Not gonna be easy for Petey to pin that on here again.

    • I’m betting Petey tries to pin it on Carrie Bradshaw. Can one send a cease & desist to a fictional character?

      • That bottom picture is beyond embarrassing.

        • One day, we should all put together a retrospective of her most embarrassing photos and maybe vote on them?

          • LOL I came up with that user name after seeing one of these fauxtos yes. I think it was the one where she was standing by some gigantic letters at BM or something. I never changed the name because I think she will always be dusty given her known lack of hygiene standards.

          • PS I also like “glamour tarp” (RE the cape fauxtos in the previous post) so trying to figure a way to incorporate it into the name

          • Ha! Love this name and knew it must have something to do with a half-nekid Donk rolling around the dusty playa.

  3. “Green juice on the porch in Novato” fucking kills me every time. Wendy Yalom has a gift for capturing punchability.

    • Yalom has a gift for capturing BLAND as a sci-fi project. Her coffee mug fauxtos of global trendsetters changing the world one cup of aya at a time tend to look otherworldly, as though the women had been created in a lab by Neolutionists.

      yalom

      • Easy on the fillers, ladies. Starting to look like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade balloon.

        • It is her. She wore that mustard colored skirt at the informal non-Hive Allis conference a few years ago where she pretended to be an expert about designing alternative communities. This was when Allis was looking to buy land in CA near Big Sur and create one. Before the Big Sur fire. There was a picture of her wearing this sitting on the floor talking with three guys sitting on a sofa. Don’t remember who they were.

      • There is no businessperson photo cliché too trite for Wendy Yalom. Adjust tie? Sure! Bite pen and furrow brow? Yep! How Sip coffee? Pose with books and thmart looking glasses? Of course. Roll up sleeves and cross your arms? You bet! Pretend to be using a laptop, or an edgy vintage typewriter? You got it.

          • Could he look any more awkwardly posed or styled wrong for what he was trying to accomplish at the time? Business casual, an expensive jacket with no tie, maybe a collarless shirt. Natural fabrics. And don’t look like you are contorting yourself. That suit looks like a cheap and tacky clown suit, and if looks aren’t his strong suit, don’t draw attention to them so strongly. This is one of the worst portrait sessions ever. In one of the other outtakes, one of his friends said he looked like a pimp, and he actually got testy about it, even though it was totally true.

            See Rob Schuham for how to do it right.

          • very good photo advice from dcpg above. contorted is not a good look. also, the flash of crimson from the lining of his jacket makes it look like a UK passport has fallen out of his inner pocket.

            photographer is not good at directing her subjects, or checking parts of the frame other than her point of focus before she shoots.

          • jfaing: if you’re going to wear a necktie, learn how to tie a double-windsor knot, and make sure it’s snug. collar button should not show.

            black tie – was he on his way to a funeral? a splash of color other than aforementioned jacket lining would have made the photo so much better.

    • And the POINTED TOES!!! Who purposely points their toes in a candid photo sitting in a chair?? Such a ballerina, our donkey.

  4. What bugs me the most about the Burning Man pictures (or any other of her pictures) is that SHE NEVER SEEMS TO BE HAVING ANY FUN.

    Whether it is the condom dress, or the NYPL table, or Burning Man, she is always conveying “this is a fauxshoot to promote/sell/grift a product called Julia Allison, buy, buy, buy, I am desperate for your wallet’s contents, please, please, buy, NOW”.

          • This video really needs to be a pinned post at the top of this site. No one could ever call this a petty ‘hate blog’ after watching that video and getting the true insight into this tacky phony’s reason for being.

          • Exactly.

            If you ever feel any sympathy for the Donkey, it will go away within seconds of watching that video.

          • The comments are priceless!

            You are what is wrong with the world. What a joke. “Money is what garners respect”. You got it, genius. And is also why the world is accelerating to its own destruction.

            Wow, she is a complete fraud. This “commentary” would be more appropriate for some brainless reality TV show. She might as well have said I want to fight racism by making “fuck you” money. The term, “fuck you money” is generally only used, in my experience, by those who are unbalanced. Consider the twisted meaning, I will make so much money and spend it resentful of those who are not in my tax bracket. Massive fail “bigthink” this was pointless

            this is a joke right? “fuck you money” is the reason why bankruptcies occur. What a disgrace, i hope she reads this.

            I’m a woman and I started high tech consulting when I was 22 and incorporated when I was 25. I never even thought about it being unusual for a woman to be an entrepreneur. People hired me because I was young person to do something that had never been done before. When I got into my 30s people expected me to have years of experience doing the same thing already. But my specialty was solving brand new problems. High tech innovation is hindered by a prejudice against age.

            This isn’t a bigthink video. This is a nothink video.

        • It’s truly amazing how that one brief video contains such a richness of Donkey ridiculousnesses: frosty-white eyeshadow up to the botoxed brows, sausage-snappers at the ready to delineate the oh-so-provocative assertions she is positing (especially the clasped fists with conjoined jabbing index fingers, Charlie’s-Angels-sporting-handguns style), considering (considering!) Harvard Business School, selling (selling! for money! let alone for fuck-you money!) Non-society, that sideways-scrolling fount of A-Game content. How’d that all work out for you, Donkey? Oh, right — you chose (chose!) to go in “a very different direction. That’s what a crucible does!!!!”

        • Back then, when she was preening and swanning about whether she was going to grace Harvard or Stanford Business School with her presence, I actually lost my gold star on Gawker for a while because I dared to predict that she’s never actually apply to either. Too much work in taking the GMAT, putting together the applications, etc. I was also called “mean” and accused of crapping on this poor girl’s dream.

          • The “I’m gonna go to HBS, what, like’s it hard?” / “Can’t bag a founder billionaire hubby so gonna become my own founder of my successful bizznaz Nonsociety!” is my ATF Donkey persona. Soooo fucking arrogant! And yet absolutely zero goals from that persona accomplished. LOVE how hard she crashed and burned on that one.

      • So… the Gimme Pig of Love-Your-Wallet with the Protestant Work Ethic had what it took to start a successful business right then, but in the eight or nine years since, she never did due to lack of a Fuck You Credential?

        Yeah Donkey, THAT passes the smell test. Every time, in fact.

        Such a loathesome bore, that one.

      • if these grifters worked as hard at anything as they work at grifting they might accomplish something

        arches of doom, burbling lips, pelts on pelts on pelts

      • she doesn’t even answer the question in the video.

        why here and why you?

        and she just rants

        lol 2010 was such weird times

  5. The funny thing is, in the profile pics of her, she looks really good, but she never styles her hair like that, does her makeup like that, or dresses that way. Every gregdamn thing she does is phony.

  6. Ali Shanti just read Matt Haig’s novel HOW TO STOP TIME and managed to make the 500-year-old narrator’s thoughts ALL ABOUT ALI:

    Ali Shanti
    4 hrs · Boulder, CO ·
    Someone asked yesterday in a post, if you could live forever, would you?

    My response then: No. For me, it is the prospect of death that makes this life so fully worth living.

    Maybe this is why I was so drawn to estate planning as my profession, even before I truly understood death and it’s meaning in the context of life.

    Synchronistically, my daughter suggested I read this book last night. How to Stop Time by Matt Haig. I had no idea that it would be about a man who doesn’t die (or age, really) and the life he leads over 500 years in that reality. So many feels!!

    I have discovered the clearest space of freedom when I have allowed myself to fully contemplate and even experience the reality of my death.

    Haig’s description of it matches mine:

    “And, just as it only takes a moment to die, it only takes a moment to live. You just close your eyes and let every futile fear slip away. And then, in this new state, free from fear, you ask yourself: who am I?

    If I could live without doubt what would I do? If I could be kind without the fear of being fucked over? If I could love without fear of being hurt? If I could taste the sweetness of today without thinking of how I will miss that taste tomorrow? If I could not fear the passing of time and the people it will steal? Yes. What would I do? Who would I care for? What battle would I fight? Which paths would I step down? What joys would I allow myself? What internal mysteries would I solve? How, in short, would I live?”

  7. Ah my favorite thing about the purple shirt picture is that there is no way that it’s comfortable to sit on an Adirondack chair like that. She’s pretending her ass isn’t tilting toward Dallas and her legs aren’t being contused by the sharp edge of the arm. It’s so bonkers I almost think it has to be photoshopped.

    The green juice in a mason jar makes it extra basic.

    • I often wonder if she even likes that green juice and all the “healthy” and vegan food she claims to eat while in this current persona. I love food so much and I can only imagine what it must be like to have to eat and drink based on a character rather than what you like and enjoy. You couldn’t pay me to drink those green juices daily. I know others love them and that’s OK, they are just not my cup of tea (or juice as the case might be).

      • Doubtful that she even knows how to enjoy food of any kind, unless it’s sugarcoated pancake house fare or chocolate covered.

        If she weren’t completely uncurious, she’d know how to cook beyond the scope of opening a can of Amy’s vegetarian chili.

    • OT but I have had this idea about writing a book that is just full of mundane detail and nothing much at all happens because sometimes that’s what I want to read to escape the news/my mom. I should aim for bestseller in the “Completely boring uneventful bland fiction.”

  8. OT: Skankatron is relaunching one of her oldest grifts and desperately needs your help!

    • captain obvious here again, but this launch, relaunch thing seems such a haphazard way to run a business, and only reinforces that it’s a grift. if she was truly an entrepreneur, she’d have a business plan that established, built and grew EWOL as a business, instead of her endless cycle lather, rinse and repeat.

      i didn’t have / create the opportunity to go to b-school but have friends who did, and am mentoring someone who is halfway through. one lesson all three taught me is “market hardest when you’re busiest, because it’s an expense you can ill-afford when you’re at your quietest”. when will these dummies learn that running a business takes sustained effort? it’s not some half-assed thing you pick up and put down when your other schemes fall flat.

    • I like the purple orange haze acid banner. Just fade out that batch of Turkey feathers and cocoons on the right.

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