Donk, Jaahass, Avocado, Smellsberg – Like Spoonful After Spoonful Of Ipecac Syrup

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Where do I begin, bunnies? Well, bi-in-name-only Donkey gave an over-the-top shout-out to her non-lesbian lover:

And we love you, Judy! But if you’re looking for a place to stay when you come back to the states, might I suggest:

I swear to Greg that our burro has suggested or will suggest a housing arrangement with the neuro pusher and his oversexed, batshit insane wife. Yes, she’s that desperate.

Meanwhile, over in Shaktiland, Jess and the two stooges posed for another gregdamn fauxto:

Yep, Maria, when I see all the fauxtos of willowy white women posing by waterworks, I immediately think of art as activism.

Speaking of art, David “Avocado” Block has been creating masterpieces under a pseudonym:

Avocado posted the above nonsense as his cover fauxto three days ago. Thus far, he’s received four likes and this lone comment:

A woo who speaks truth to a poseur? We have witnessed a miracle!

Bottom Picture! Enjoy while I run to the bathroom to vomit …

67 COMMENTS

  1. “How avant garde of you.” Lol is that our fave jean Brodie thd commenter’s brother ?

  2. Non-lesbian non-lover Myka continues to have what Judy wants, i.e., money and a dude.

    I love that even someone who has the gall to call himself “Michael Divine” drags Avocado for being a phony.

      • Oh my god I have been on this guy’s email list for over a decade after he took a photo of teenage me at a festival and asked me to write down my phone number so he would send me a copy. Never got the photo, just spam to buy his book lol. SMALL WORLD

  3. Perhaps I’ll take a peak at Reblogging Donk while my dinner is the oven. Maybe dear Gilly has posted something new.

    Ooooh., look,Mika…chuckle. Isn’t that a ridiculous photo of Jess? Poor dumb Avocado should try to get a job. THEN…vomit, so much vomit. You know that scene in Team America? Worse than that. Michael Ellsberg is so completely greasy that up until now I have managed to convince myself that he doesn’t bathe and is a never nude.

    • More incredible still: He’s found someone willing to exchange microbes with him in a disgusting primordial soup?! VOM, indeed.

      P.S.: Why didn’t non-artist ‘Cado choose David Mikhail as his nom-de-guerre instead, given recent marriage to (assumably non-dead non-hooker) Russian bride?

    • Hey now, at least he’s in a bathtub and there appears to be some soap involved. Express a little OMG gratitude, why don’t you. (I’m sure there’s a hell of a bathtub ring AND hair clog, but that’s the maid’s problem.)

    • ” … while I save the world, one glamour shot at a time.”

      Jesus, these people.

  4. Also, Myka: defining someone’s value by what they do for you is pretty shitty.

    That dude looks pretty fly for 54 but I can’t see his hair, eyes, or caulk so idk

  5. Donkey:
    “I love how he cares for you. I hove how he protects you. I love how he respects you. He is a good man. And you deserve all of it.

    I love your love!”

    Transbraytion:
    “Why can’t I find a man that cares for me? Why nobody protects ME? Rain and Avocado did not RESPECT ME in the way I DESERVE. Why can’t I find a good MAN? WHat is wrong with you, MEN? You don’t deserve any of this nearly as much as I do.

    Why can’t men see my greatness?

    I am very jealous of you, and not in a good way. I really really want to boil your bunny”.

    • i love this comment, haha. Oops, didn’t mean to! The selfie just slipped out!

    • The Greasy Gargoyle ith thuch a teath:

      “Last spring, when I was on my “girlfriend search” to find my “One,” my friend Kate Niebauer suggested I do an intention/visioning exercise called a “CPR” – this stands for “Context, Purpose, Results.”

      I normally HATE these “manifestation/vision board” type exercises, as even I have my limits on how “woo-woo” I allow things to get for me.

      But, I was serious about this search, and I trusted Kate, she said it helped her manifest her own amazing partner, whom she’s been with for over a decade.

      I started with a list of “Results” I wanted in this area: specific descriptions of the partner and relationship I wanted to manifest. Then “Purpose”- the purpose of bringing this partnership into my life, for myself and my wider web of relations. Then “Context”- a brief phrase to remind myself and anchor how I will feel when I bring this reality into my life- so I can start feeling that way now, even before the results are manifested.

      Here is what I wrote:

      Results:

      *I am in a loving, deep, committed primary partnership with a woman who fills me with awe, inspiration, excitement, and desire.

      *We are collaborating creatively on projects that feel deeply meaningful to us and impactful on the world.

      *Our sex life is juicy, exploratory, tender, reliable, and freeing.

      *We are open and free and we have wonderful lovers with whom we share exploration, learning and adventure in our love lives while strengthening our primary bond.

      *We are able to resolve fights and disagreements quickly with clear communication, coming out even deeper, more bonded and trusting.

      *I am crazily attracted to her.

      Purpose:

      Our relationship of love, security and support has us feeling refreshed, energized, and ready for more in the world, thereby becoming the engine that drives our contribution of uplevelling the sexual culture in the world.

      Context: She is looking for me.

      I wrote this on Friday, April 14, 2017. That night, I went on a second date. The next morning, I started scratching my head, and thinking, “Wow, it seems she could fit everything I wrote on that list yesterday…”

      We went on another date that Wednesday, and another the following Friday (three in a week- sizzling! 🙂 By the end of the Friday date, I was certain the woman I was describing in the CPR was right in front of me. I am not one to let an opportunity like this pass, by over-analyzing it. When I know, I know. We saw each other on Saturday, April 22, 2017, and I “proposed” that we be boyfriend and girlfriend. She said “Yes!”

      That was 8 days after I wrote the CPR. Wow, didn’t know it would happen that fast!

      Yesterday was 11 months of bliss together. She moved in with me recently, and I count my blessings every day. I feel so so lucky and grateful.

      **Special thank you to Kate for being the manifestress who got me over my resistance to manifesting/visioning. I didn’t believe it would have any effect- and I was very happy to be proven wrong on that. Thank you for sprinkling your Cupid dust all over us! <3 **

      PS if you're wondering who this special woman is… it will be revealed in due time. We decided to go against my longstanding impulse to live everything in my life in real time on social media, and give our relationship time to grow in relative private. It feels healthy to us.”

      Smellsberg’s “juicy” sex life?

      via GIPHY

      • our contribution of uplevelling the sexual culture in the world

        I decline your contribution. Maybe try literacy or saving the whales?

        • Why is it that every gregdamn time a woo takes a sip of water or takes a shit or experiences sexual climax, they think the impact will be felt globally for the next 30 years?

          • Narcississm and also, there’s no actual standard to hold them accountable against. He can claim he’s a stellar lover but never be required to produce actual data. Anyone who disagrees is just uptight or unwoke. It’s an easy way to call yourself “the best” at something because there’s no way to disprove your assertion.

        • Hahaha, that jumped out at me too! One can assume they’re writing a book about their sexy sexy sex, so maybe that counts as literacy?

          By the by, does anyone remember the guy who had a fantasy portrait done of his dream girl? Has he manifested her yet?

          • Oh, that was Hitch McDermid. We should check and see. But I kind of doubt it.

          • He seems not to be on Facebook, and his Twitter’s been idle since 2013.

          • I’d completely forgotten this guy!

            Teaser Trailer: I’d completely forgotten one of Donk’s BFFs until a civilian (someone unaware of RBD) pointed me in her direction. Holy cow! ? You’ll have to check in tomorrow.

      • Purpose: To smugly exploit said relationship online for profits.

      • the smellsburg-equivalent of a certain seventy-three point checklist on how to find a mate.

      • Yes, someone who refers to another as a “manifestress” really has issues with being too “woo-woo”.

        Get the fuck outta here!

  6. Soooooo…Myka like the fact that her husband or whatever he is acts like the Gallant from Goofus & Gallant’s Tiffany’s Etiquette Guide for Teenagers. How evolved.

    WTF is that swimming pool picture? It looks like a Clairol ad circa 1992.

    List a whole page worth of shit you claim to be and then tell me how humble you are, I never asked anyone to do. Then when someone calls you out on this, simply reject their argument out of hand because you don’t actually have one yourself.

    I am trying to decide if the bathtub pic would be less or more gross without the female leg involved. I am thinking “more” because the dynamic shifts from “maybe jerking off in the tub” to “definitely jerking off in the tub.”

    • Ha! I’ve been carrying this image around of Smellsberg as a chronic masturbator, an old school raincoater at a blue movie and a teen who can’t stop pulling his pud, and well, one can only imagine how Patricia Ellsberg handled THAT!

    • and if a double-decker bus – kills the both of us
      to die by your side – is such a heavenly way to die…

  7. Dammit! I knew there was something I forgot to do yesterday!

    • If I lived in a house surrounded by trees, I would not furnish it with fuzziness, because you know that all smells damp and moldy.

    • Great nonexistent lumbar support on that floor. No wonder their backs hurt.

  8. Does being a goddess and saving the planet consist of posing for endless, pointless fauxtoshoots? Candid, my ass, Maria!

    • Being in front of a camera is outside of your comfort zone? Bullshit, Maria.

      • the cause of her painful strained back (medical term: lumbar contortis-selfis) is due to twisting too much for the camera.

      • “in months between Costa Rica and Bali” = don’t hate me because my life is one long sojourn from tropical paradise to tropical paradise.

        P.S.: Is that one of Skankatron’s nit-ridden turkey feathers?

        • Maria must have plucked it from Skankatron’s head when the old raunch was experiencing orgy (see what I did there?) during Camp Septic.

          Donkey must have been in seventh heaven when hooking up with these ridiculous con artists who focus on ME ME ME transforming into the divine while engaging in fauxtoshoots and lazing away out by the pool. What useless pieces of dogshit.

          • “I plucked it from Ali’s head!”

            Photo by the exquisite Gaelyn Miriam Larrick:
            being captured by her lens has become a yearly tradition now and has yielded some of my favorite soul portraits of all time. If you have the opportunity to work with her: don’t walk, run to meet her! You will be so delighted by the results, I promise ?

            http://www.shakti-rising-radiance-retreats.com

      • she hasn’t worn makeup or brushed her hair, but she has had her Botox and her eyelash extensions and her brow wax.

        God these people are sickening.

      • maybe im projecting, but I read this as “I’ve been painfully depressed and in a dark place, but I put fake lashes on and I’m telling you im not comfortable because I desperately want external validation.”

  9. “Tedious” and “insufferable” are pretty much the only words that occur to me when I read about these people. Otherwise I’m speechless.

      • Oh that poor thing! The last I saw of her was a video she’d posted to FB in which she was driving a car while a vibrating egg was inside her vagina. You sure can pick ’em, Smelly!

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