Donkey Is A Journalith, A Lov-ah, An Author At Non-Existent BOOK, And … An Advanced Publicity Strategist

Next month’s Hive Entrepreneurial Retreat features only THE most esteemed speakers!

The last we heard re: Donkey on the “work” front, she was helping a former Chicago dentist turned woo scammer pose for photographs – with coffee cup, of course! – for the con artist’s webpage. Is our burro going to speak about what a flop Non-Society was? “Advanced” publicity strategies, indeed.

Clearly Ryan Allis paid for Judy’s Bali vacation from vacation-itis. No idea if he’s banging “bisexual,” poly-friendly Donkey as well, because Allis recently hooked up with a new piece, Danielle Blum, and these lovebirds are co-hosting this epic event. Of course, there’s no mention on the webpage of exactly how Ms. Blum got this gig.

This three-day shitshow costs $1500 PLUS lodgings to attend. Who’s fucking stupid enough to pay that much moohla for a weekend with America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen?

As for manboy Allis, he spent today learning how to scam, Ali Shanti style, so he should be good & ready to reel those retreat suckers in!

Bottom Picture! Donkey bestie Rebecca Jean Alonzi’s FB profile fauxto. Sweet Jesus, has she turned into Vampira? One of the undead in an old Hammer horror film? Someone hold me!

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105 Responses to Donkey Is A Journalith, A Lov-ah, An Author At Non-Existent BOOK, And … An Advanced Publicity Strategist

  1. Random Snowflake™ says:

    Donkey has been out of the loop for so long now I’m not sure how she’s relevant to talk about publicity strategy, or whatever her topic is there.. Her media/attention whoring days are long behind her, aren’t they?

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      People are going to be super impressed by her pink website that was last updated in 2013. Super advanced publicity strategies, bunnies!

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        I’m impressed that she hasn’t tweeted in how many years, doesn’t even have a LinkedIn entry, and has been trying to erase her carbon footprint for the last year. Hire Mulia Mallison for all your PR needs!

      • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

        You’ve clearly forgotten about The Margarine Factory, Al Bee.

    • Grammarian Dreams of Spring says:

      Audience member: So, what have you published lately?
      [ crickets ]

  2. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    LANDMARK? Holy shit. Good to know that grifters are getting grifted themselves, even if it’s by the horrible spawn of EST.

    That Yalom photo of Donk is like a reverse Picture of Dorian Gray. The Hiveniks will recoil in horror when they see her true horrible self.

  3. Kay says:

    Wow, I just stumbled across this site after googling “what happened to Julia Allison?”

    I was thinking about JA because I saw Michael Arrington speak at a bitcoin conference a few weeks ago. I remembered how one of JA’s friends accused Arrington of rape. It’s interesting to me that if JA’s friend had spoken up now everyone would be on her side because of the #MeToo stuff. But back in 2013 (?) everyone just called her a bitter ex and sided with Arrington.

    I cannot believe that this is what Julia Allison has turned into after her posh NYC media days. I’m born and raised in SF and so many in this weird new age scammer late-30s festival scenester people group have a shitload of common Facebook friends with me. Of course since Julia is and will always be a basic she lived in the Marina when she was here lol.

    • Eff You $$$ says:

      It’s always cute when one of the former sisters shows up.

      • Kay says:

        Wait, does this mean me? And by sister do you mean, like, a friend who had a falling out with her or something?

        I know of JA because of Gawker/Valleywag, I’m almost a decade younger than her and found her fascinating back in the day in a Tommy Wiseau sort of way, like willing herself to be relevant. Just found it weird that she rolls with people who are friends with the Burning Man sort of crew I was in when I was 21-ish. I don’t know her but lots of people I used to know do according to the internets. Which was a random thing to discover.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      I don’t think anyone here was siding with Arrington. IIRC, we were castigating Donkey for sticking her nose in where it didn’t belong, and wondering why people were covering up for him. I’m sure a search of the site would turn this info up. SMH.

    • Never the Bride says:

      I found this site with the exact same Google query.

    • BunnyBingo says:

      Yep, she didn’t manage to marry her way into NYC society or land a tech bro and is instead the (paid?)companion of polyamorous woos. NonSociety indeed.

      • Grammarian Dreams of Spring says:

        grifters grifting grifters

      • name says:

        “nonsociety indeed” comment of the decade

      • The Nose Knows says:

        Even at her brief peak, she was never going to marry into NYC society. She always fell short – pretty, but not pretty enough; comes from some money, but not enough to hang with the megamoney she wanted to marry; successful, but not really; and so on

        • Walk? Not bloody likely says:

          Anyone not a raging narcissist would be very OK with being pretty, privileged and slightly successful; that’s the sad part. She could be happily married, go on holiday once a year on her own dime instead of every 5 minutes on someone else’s. Hell, she could even go to Burning Man and have actual fun instead of desperately trying to get attention.

          She could apply herself to work instead of her next fauxtoshoot, meet and network with real people who could help her further her career, instead of trying to curry favour with all those shallow delusional twerps. Woulda shoulda coulda.

          Plenty of people would kill for her opportunities. She’s her own worst enemy to a degree that’s actually quite fascinating.

  4. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Advanced Publicity Strategist Julia seems to have lost around 25% of her Twitter followers since the NYT published its exposé on Devumi last week. What advice could she possibly give besides buy fake followers, loudly associate with people in the public eye, and invent credentials? Her public career sort of seems more a product of illness than of strategy, but whatever.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Maybe Julia can show them how to buy lots of fake Facebook ‘likes’ from Istanbul like she did for Coobie to make them think she was relevant..

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        She’s at slightly under 130,000 FB followers, of which a huge percentage was purchased.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      How to buy friends and uninfluence people-she’s the cautionary tale of what not to do. She’s the only one who still doesn’t see it. Correction she and Ryan “creepy serial killer smile” Allis.

  5. Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

    LOL at make vegetables great again, apparently featuring the vegetable-in-chief, who is looking even more trailer-park truckstop-ready than usual in this picture.

    Stupid headline to use with a picture of a person, Rebecca Jean. For multiple reasons, not the least the political association with a charlatan.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Well, white trailer trash turned out heavily to vote for the orange menace, so the headline fits.

      • Stalker is the new spanky pants says:

        Along with white college-educated and white women. It’s white people in general that elected Trump and assigning blame to “trailer trash” is a deflection and a cop-out.

        • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

          It was a joke, Ellie Mae, and I’m not taking the bait.

          • Stalker is the new spanky pants says:

            I guess my comment was directed more as a howl of outrage at the universe than you personally, so sorry if it came off harsh. I just hate this revisionist bullshit that puts our mess on “economic anxiety” or “white working class” or whatever. If white women had broken EVENLY, Hillary would be president but they voted for Trump 53%.

      • Grammarian of Hope says:

        Suburban white women voted for trump

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

          The bourgeoisie is always a convenient target. The white working class also voted heavily Trump.

          • Grammarian Dreams of Spring says:

            the white working class is ignorant and racist and easily manipulated to blame others for their disposession and lack of skills

            people in the suburbs don’t have those excuses

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Do you even realize what you just wrote, Einstein?! The entire white working class is SOOO stupid that EVERY MEMBER is racist, easily swayed, and apparently not responsible for their voting decisions? I’ll be sure to alert my blue-collar paternal grandparents.

          • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

            The brainwashing of the middle / working class really picked up steam with Reagan and the repeal of the fairness doctrine, which allowed the birth of Fox News, Rush Limbaugh etc etc etc and completely transformed the media landscape.

            Just sayin’….

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            The abusive extremes of either end will ruin this county, the only hope is a rational middle. Failure to see blame on both *sides* is the problem.

          • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

            And the left’s equivalent to Alex Jones would be?

            To Steve King (R-IA)?

            Rush Limbaugh?

    • Fell off the rainbow raft says:

      She’s so contorted too, and you can barely see the vegetable. Just another look at how sunken I can make my cheekbones seem?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      WHO? posed her, Monkia de Myer?
      All I see is:

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        Hahaha! Perfect. A contorted simian pose as if scratching head lice is such an appetizing way to present food.

    • Grammarian Dreams of Spring says:

      that giant white blob behind her, which is the chair, looks like a hunchback

    • melting marionette says:

      broccoli a la chair

    • Walk? Not bloody likely says:

      Google informs me the Vegetable Lady has an autoimmune disorder of the digestive system, I’m guessing Crohn’s Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. Horrible things to suffer from; but knowing these Woos, she’s not getting any proper medical care because then her magic-healing-diet-and-meditation cure is all a lie.

      She looks like a skeleton with a cheap wig on. That is a horrible photo she picked for herself and a bad advertisement.

  6. Telexfree Antofagasta says:

    Facebook Profile Picture Consultant, neva foget

  7. BunnyBingo says:

    “I’m banging this chick, let’s put her on the panel!”
    “Whatever you say, broheim!”

    Ryan Allis sounds fairly douchey:

  8. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Maybe Advanced Publicity Strategist as in: PR for Geriatrics
    (see Dad$er Dispute Resolution websitesightcite)

  9. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    We really nailed it when we said she’d be milking Allis for all his money’s worth. Who else would have hired Donkey? She hasn’t had any direct experience for a decade, which might as well be a century in technology years, and even so, it was all phony as hell. What’s she going to talk about, “hacking” the media? Lying and faking it, which is all she ever did? I hope there are some people in that audience that realize they’ve been had. Who hires a phony layabout when there are people with actual experience he could afford to bring on board? He must be stupider than dirt or just another awkward geek too gullible to know he is cuddle puddling with gold diggers.

    • I Meant It At The Time says:

      How long has this web site existed? Ten years? Andvshebis still out there lying?what the serious fuck?

      • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

        Yep, it began life as Reblogging Julia in 2008 and Donkey is still a lying, lazy gold digger, now with a whole lotta drug intake in the last few years.

        • Fell off the rainbow raft says:

          The only thing that has changed about her is the outfits and sisters.
          Some solid growth there…

          • The Nose Knows says:

            She also aims her sights A LOT lower these days. Instead of trying to nail wealthy, powerful men, she’s desperately trying to hang on to balding, awful-sounding DJs who only “perform” at dirt festivals full of other grasping, drug-addled lackwits

          • Twitter Banned by Julie says:

            excuse you, he was an ARTIST

          • Never ever breaking up or getting a job says:

            Don’t you have bills to pay or something

  10. Hroswitha says:

    Impactful? IMPACTFUL?!? BRB, vomiting with rage.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      The woo vocabulary leaves me in stitches. My hippie parents spoke in such silly jargon at one time, but they grew up and look back on those years with a smile and a bit of embarrassment. However, I don’t expect Mulia Mallison and most of these folks ever to grow up.

    • Overarchingly Fug says:

      That one did me in, as well

    • Tingolayo says:

      Vomiting with rage is the new shower vom.

    • melting marionette says:

      commentator called the new england patriots “the bestest team” over the weekend. could have cheerfully slapped him.

  11. Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

    Just visited Rebecca Jean’s website and, unexpectedly, I actually like her a lot. She doesn’t seem way out on the woo spectrum. I watched her 2014 presentation to the Hive on ‘real food’ and I think she is offering really good advice. Her presentation is genuine and she comes across as very smart and likeable. Unlike A Donkey, she’s worked very hard at what she does, has continued to grow and learn, and is having a lot of success as an entrepreneur. So the question is, what is she doing hanging with these layabout trustafarian bozos?

    Anyway, I like her. So there.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      JFAIng to say, though, that her presentation to this group of budding entrepreneurs was about eating right, and not about how she started and successfully grew her business, overcame obstacles, got inspiration, funding, etc. That seemed a little odd. Otherwise, thumbs up.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      I find HIVE rather cultish and creepy, and mistrust anyone who has anything to do with them, but I’ll take your word re: RJ’s Q rating. As for the donkey connection, maybe it’s a mother/daughter thing?

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        I admit, I prejudged her by her appearance, which has often been on the trashy side. This is a case in point. She looks like she’d be vapid, but she is pretty sharp. I get the impression she came from a lower middle class family with a strong work ethic, and she is reaping the benefits. I have to give her credit, she’s the first non-grifter type I’ve seen proof of in this ‘tribe.’

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

          Then let’s help soften the sight! Grab the bleach, she’s seen the light!

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      Realized she is likely hanging with these morons because they either are her clients (e.g. Allis), or they (e.g. Kittay, Noodles) can hook her up with promising client contacts.

  12. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:
  13. Not! Random! says:

    Julia “lives in” Ubud now, according to FB. Since when? Has she become a digital nomad again?

  14. Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

    OT, and asking for advice:

    I’m expired. My grandpa, sorry, Beloved Grandfather is almost three times more expired (he’s going on 92). He was sort of seriously ill and spent some time in the hospital in July – September, then got better, now he’s back at the hospital. I know this sounds kind of crazy / assholish because we live in the same city and the hospital is also in the same city, but I haven’t seen him since Christmas and I probably won’t for another couple of weeks. It’s partly that I’m really busy with work and partly that his son, my dad, has also been ill and, believe it or not, also spent some time at the hospital with post-surgery stuff. So anyway, thing is I haven’t seen grandpa for some time and I’m not sure when I will. In a fit of something, I got it into my head that I could at least make a DIY “get well” card and send it to him. I went so far as to get an A3 sheet of paper at work today because in my head this get well card is enormous. My idea is to write something really stupid and use the text to connect drawings and photos clipped out of magazines (it would be much easier if I could simply search online for what I want and then print it but I don’t have a color printer). Like, “hope you can soon get back to this” *red Ferrari picture* (no, he never drove one, I want to use this as an “in-joke,” ha, ha). If I feel really cocky, I might draw something original like a little heart with my most expensive nail polish and then I too can be very proud of the heart I drew.

    My question is: is all of this appropriate and acceptable among adults, or does it sound like an idiotic Donk-like attempt to imitate an adorable 8-year-old, with stick glue any everything? I am an adult with some semblance of qualification, career, etc. My grandpa is not senile and doesn’t see me as a little girl. I realize you don’t know him, and ultimately it is his hypothetic response what matters, but in general, as a independent observer, would you say I can go for this, or rather I should stop being an asshole and organize my time so I can go visit him like a normal adult? (Unlike evolved free spirit Donk, I am so unenlightened that I actually WANT to be normal.) If you were ill and received something like this from an adult family member, would you think “looks like I’m not the only one who needs to be hospitalized?” I’m asking because I kind of suspect I might.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      I think that’s sweet, and if you can’t be childlike with your grandfather, who can you be childlike with?

    • Hroswitha says:

      Super sweet, and I guarantee he’ll value what you make way more than anything you could find in a store. I did something similar for my mother before she had major surgery about 15 years ago. I wasn’t quite expired then, but nearly, and my card/booklet thingy was full of family jokes and was honestly pretty goofy. But she loved it and still has it today.

      I feel compelled to point out that the only acceptable reason for not visiting your ailing grandfather is Comic-Con, though.

    • Stalker is the new spanky pants says:


      wouldn’t it take LONGER to do a card than to just go see his ass????

      I think the card sounds sweet but YOU AND I BOTH KNOW he would rather see YOU!!!!!!!!!!

    • darling dearest is over this shit says:

      is your plan to mail the card? Why not drop it off in person?

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