Devin “Scarface” Stetler Can Hook You Up!

The Modesto Strangler, Donkey’s ex and one half of the greatest love affair the world has ever known, has dabbled in many fields, from fine cuisine to modeling to NBC correspondent. Now he’s co-owner of Flavors, a weed dispensary in Riverbank, California, next to Modesto. But not without some resistance from residents:

“I left Modesto because of this kind of crap,” Dennis Starkweather said.

Former city officials also showed up to argue against the application of Pacafi Cooperative, short for Patient Care First with a Modesto business address, according to weedmaps.com. The dispensary will be called Flavors.

A dentist said marijuana can alter brains permanently. Others worried about property values plummeting.

“We can be different,” Leticia Delgado said, “be known as the city that did not allow it here.”

Applicants, including Flavors co-owner Devin Stetler, noted that Californians a year ago voted to allow commercial marijuana. He said he hears that black-market operators are leaving the area because they won’t be able to compete with legitimate cannabis sales.

“We’re going to build an upscale, nice establishment here that’s ambiguous on the outside but properly run on the inside and outside,” Stetler said, vowing to allow no “trashing” or “sleaze.”

I NEVER think of sleaze when I think of Debbie Seltzer and our dear Donk!

But not to worry, bunnies! All five city council members approved Flavors, which is open from 9 to 9 on one of Riverbank’s busiest streets. Just be sure pay the dealer, or Devin’s alt-right ex-con brother, whose deleted FB page was scary as hell, will persuade you of the error of your ways.

Our Rhoda sent along more intel, bunnies, but this will have to suffice for now. My nanny is helping out poor, distraught Nisha Moodley and so I have to fix everyone dinner this evening.

Bottom GIF: Devin wishes you well. You sure blew this one, Julie!

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91 Responses to Devin “Scarface” Stetler Can Hook You Up!

  1. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Whew, doggies! Knew what was coming (I had just uncovered it coinciding w/ Gilly’s teaser the other day) — so worth the wait for yours & Rhoda’s scoop because, OMGreg, that top pic! Lulz all day.

    Also, I’d read that Flavors is right next door to a MMA studio … Hello, brudder … 😉

  2. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Al Pacino is kind of getting to be the patron saint of RBD

    • Nosferatu-tu says:

      Haha, yes. Now we know where Judy found the Scarface Dance Pants, from NGMB-approved darling Devin.
      Thanks for the great work Gilly and Rhoda. non-ironic smiley face

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        Thank you, Nosferatu-tu, and feel free to join Al, Rhoda, and me in the chatroom.

        al

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          OMG, I so anticipated you would post that Cruising dance gif here, but you have outdone yourself, expanding beyond the dancing-sweaty-Al-P-in-wifebeater image to show the raw naked emotion in our patron saint’s face. I can only hope the fisting scene from that movie does not exist in gif format, but if it does, please do not reproduce here, as it scarred my teenage-hood.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Ahem, this is a family newspaper! Well, most of the time, except when Christina Morassi and Ali Shanti and Jena la Flamme and Michael Ellsberg and … oh, well, never mind!

        • Nosferatu-tu says:

          Thanks for the amazing offer for chat, unfortunately i was getting ready and now on my way from misery to happiness aka the counsellor!

    • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

      I fully support and endorse his nomination.

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      Famous last words from RBD’s Tony Montana, Debbie Stetler to El Burro:
      “You know what your problem is, pussycat? You got nothing to do with your life. Why don’t you get a job or something? Do something. Be a nurse. Work with blind kids, lepers…”

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat Whores says:

      The Harlem shake video was when we realized that Devin’s friend was indeed little.

      • Stalker is ambiguous on the outside says:

        Nah, we knew during rainbow days at burning man when those little shiny shorts failed to be topographical.

        (actually not sure of the chronology)

  3. Razzmatazz says:

    D’s Famous Healing Crisped Brussels Sprouts Ganja

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Hey, it’s better than his burnt yams.

      chef

      • Morrocanwear kissed a girl says:

        He really was Donkey’s greatest invention; a vapid, empty vessel ready to be filled with her schemes and dreams. You don’t actually need any experience or education…liks tuh kook and a photo shoot are enough to call yourself a chef.

        • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

          Base model.

          • The Nose Knows says:

            Was Debbie Seltzer the base model, or was that Prom Wallet? Either way, it was hilarious when she got dumped by guys she believed beneath her.

        • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

          Also, thank you for this sentence, Gilly, it really sums it up nicely:

          “The Modesto Strangler, Donkey’s ex and one half of the greatest love affair the world has ever known, has dabbled in many fields, from fine cuisine to modeling to NBC correspondent.”

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Can’t. Resist. Must. Post. Fauxto.

            nbc

          • Tingolayo says:

            Please look at what he’s wearing to Fashion Week. Please look at the pink polyester rag smearing with Julia Allison’s pancake makeup and tears.

            His profile is worse than Tom Cruise’s, although they both have the huge schnoz and manic, gummy rictus. You’re not a model, you clown.

          • The Nose Knows says:

            Correct, Tingo.

            And if you’re only attractive in certain poses and under certain lighting conditions, you’re not actually attractive. He was never model material. Not even as a hand model.

  4. melting marionette says:

    i wonder who is bankrolling this?

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Same. It is so crazy expensive to start a dispensary here in Mass, I can’t imagine it’s much cheaper in California.

      Well, good for him, it’s an honest enough job. Give the people what they want, Debbois.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        This is actually the first time I’ve been impressed with any of Goat Soap’s bidnesses.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        An honest enough job for sure, but seeing lies from him (healing chef; 20-yrs-experience code monkey; etc), I wonder what he may have skirted around or embellished to get sanctioned to deal– if & when it catches up w/ him, doubtful I’d sympathize since that chef biz was such utter donkey-scale bs.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        And I always assumed you lived in New Mexico, Albie Quirky.

    • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

      Fatty Kate? Wali? Puspito?

  5. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    What could “upscale, nice establishment…ambiguous on the outside” possibly denote? Is brown wookie-fur bedding a design element?

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      Does “properly run on the inside” indicate furniture consisting of rickety Pizza Hut tables and chairs?

    • Stalker is ambiguous on the outside says:

      I think Dev is ambiguous on the outside. heh heh.

      What i really think it means is no garish signage out front like “MINDS LOST HERE” “CHILDREN CORRUPTED HERE” “TURN ON DROP OUT”

  6. The Nose Knows says:

    He’ll bring the best weed from Easter Island!

  7. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

    OT: Just when I think the woos can’t really be as delusional as they seem most of the time, I stumble across something like this insanity:

    Ali Shanti
    19 hrs ·
    Vocal empowerment anyone?

    I’ve been told by several people that I may want to consider working on my voice.

    And, it just so happens that my dear brother Elijah Ray, one of my favorite all-time musicians, is holding a Vocal Empowerment Masterclass this Saturday.

    So, while my son is skiing in Keystone, I’ll be on Zoom with Elijah and a group of friends, playing with the essential tools and practices ew need to gain the confidence to speak our truth, expand our vocal range, and upgrade the way we use sound to open worlds of possibilities within the music that is our LIFE!

    Want to join in the fun? Lynk below. Love! <3

    WTF? Skankatron 3000B, whose voice is like nails going down a chalkboard, is involved in some woo scam - the session is a couple of hours and costs $200 - to teach one how to speak?! Is "Paris Truther" Elijah Ray an elocutionist? As far as I know, pressing buttons and occasionally strumming on a guitar aren't skills required for debate class. Get this:

    Decker Cunov
    I adore your voice

    Ali Shanti
    Thanks! It's a hit or miss thing. People either love it, or, not so much. I'm fine with that. AND, I would really love to sing one of these days. 🙂

    Decker Cunov
    ah...ok yeah singing no idea, but your raspy yet sweet speaking voice says wry humor plus no-nonsense discernment to me

    Shanna Hoar
    i bet you can!

    HOLY MERDE! Ali Shanti sings. Kill me now.

  8. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

    OT: Magical tuning forks? BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! You can’t make these frauds up!

    Sacha Nielsen is with Jena la Flamme.

    7 January at 07:29 ·

    Hey dear friends of Switzerland. I am leaving now, after spending some awesome time with my love Jena la Flamme, back to NYC!

    But I’ll be back soon for some more delight and the mountains, on the first of February:)

    I would love your help to find some work in the mountains or any service I could provide during the month of February. I’ll be available for personal healing sessions, with the magical solfeggio tuning forks that I use now.

    If you want to book me for concert or ceremonies, please reach out by MP.

    Many blessings on your new year 2018. It’s starting with greatness and delight, by showing the way of leaving with passion and commitment!!!

    Thanks for your help and support all the way!!!

    Namaste beloved!

    • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

      Transbraytion:

      I don’t want to do any real work, but if you let me sleep on your couch, I’ll hook you up with some really good weed I acquired in the USA.

    • melting marionette says:

      leaving again, so soon?

      the green card application must not have gone well.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        Surely Daniel Ellsberg can help here? THE POST is receiving raves and Smellsberg will be dining out on its success for the next couple of years.

      • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

        She is going to Thailand to stick rocks in her cooch and needs to AirBNB the Harlem pigsty.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Meanwhile, in La Fraud land:

      It’s less than a month until I go to Thailand to participate in the Mystical Dance Teacher Training led by the one and only phenomenon of a being, Monika Nataraj.

      Why am I doing this? Well, we only live once. and as my friend Tonya Leigh says, “What would make your 90- year old self proud?”

      My current answer is going to the island paradise of Koh Phangan to study Mystical Dance, meditation, ritual, Jade Egg pracitces, and personal transformation. It’s a 6-week, 200-hours. Feb. 5 – March 17, 2018.

      I’m going to be staying in a Bungalow right on the beach (for a fraction of NYC rent) and (fingers crossed) will be sharing my space with an incredible sister I greatly admire. Wowza! It’s going to be epic. I’ve ever been to Thailand before, but everyone practically drools when they speak about it.

      Monika is summoning all sisters who yearn to awaken the feminine in its myriad of forms. I hear the call!
      She still has a few spaces left, so if you’d like to join, reach out to her and check out the link in the comments.

      • Tingolayo says:

        She’s spending 6 weeks in Thailand to learn how to put a rock up her cooch? These people are ridiculous. Nice going, Julia.

      • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

        “Everybody drools when they speak about it.” Good verb choice, La Fraud, after all, Thailand is the sex tourism capital of the world.

      • Truckstop trollope says:

        Generic NYC rent, not her rent, since smellsberg fam let’s her live in their Harlem townhouse to be quiet u til she strikes gold. And Swiss dumb ain’t got it

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        Oh, give it a rest, Baldy. There’s only one Monika in our book, and that is: MONIKA DE MYER, MONIKA DE MYER, MONIKA DE MYER.

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

          You know it, FLM! Monika de Myer, yes THE Monika de Myer fauxtographed my wedding and the lifestyle layout for my blog: monikademyerisbetterthanannieleibowitz.com.

  9. ShesJustStupid says:

    Grift season is really gearing up!

    From Noodles

    💥IT’S HERE!💥

    8th annual: TheFreedomMastermind.com

    16 women | 8 spaces left

    * Bali & New Mexico Retreats

    * Guest Mentorship with Danielle LaPorte, Hiro Boga, Jadah Sellner, Elayne Kalila Doughty, Kc Baker, Layla Martin, & Jennifer Racioppi

    * 1-on-1 coaching with me

    * Group circling & coaching

    * More, more, more…

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      The comments, lol

      So beautiful Nisha! You hold the most beautiful containers for women. <3 <3 <3

      Wow!!! Congratulations, keep up leveling my sister

      This is breathtakingly beautiful Nisha! Celebrating this for every woman who receives the gift of being in circle with you.

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        Containers for women makes me think of serial killers and 50 gallon drums, steamer trunks or chest freezers. It is a creepy word.

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      Oh, honey, you scooped me. This was the next post.

    • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

      I wish I could attend just to see KC Baker do her baby dance in person.

  10. Random Snowflake™ says:

    I wonder if Derwood could hire Fozzie since he’s also into the cannabis entrepreneur stuff and probably needs a job?

  11. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Meh.

    Not gonna task him for this.

    He’s a foot soldier in the war against Jeff Sessions.

    Good for him.

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