Updated: Happy New Year, Bunnies! The 3 Most Outrageous Donktales Of 2017

Welcome to 2018, RBDers! Our burro tried to hide her carbon footprint for much of the past year, but what we did manage to see tended to be oh so Donkey.

Let’s rank Judy’s misdeeds for 2017. Coming in at third place is the conscious uncoupling of Rain & Rainbow. The lov-ahs issued joint break-up statements, with the former Chad McNally’s mea culpa sounding suspiciously like Devin Stetler’s break-up post of years prior. Julie couldn’t honor her contract with St. Martin’s, but she can always find time to write a boyfriend’s au revoir. “Jules, you were nothing but fantastic to me … ”

Judy & Chad Issue Joint Breakup Posts – They’re Still In Each Other’s Lives As Friends!

In second place is more dissembling, with “edgy” Judy confessing her bisexuality and outing her lesbian lover, Myka McLaughlin. However, the former high fashion model quickly shot down Judy’s Sapphic fantasy, indicating they’d only ever kissed. Was our burro trying to entice Rain back into her web or sending out a Yoo Hoo! to all the woo masculines?

Edgy, Vulnerable Donkey – Journalist, Television Commentator, Public Speaker and BRAVO Star – Supports Love In ALL Its Myriad Forms & Is Bi

#1! What else? The kids reveal what they really think of Rain’s six-year-old prerecorded set and Donkey’s amateur hoofing. Consumer comments on Donkey’s shitty dancing left her “literally shaking” and she got Facebook to remove the video of her clomping on stage in Al Pacino’s chaps, but a Canadian cat lady saved the day and left us with the funniest bottom video ever.

Updated, Donkey Responds! The Kids Adore Balding Middle-Aged DJ Chad Phutureprimitive & The Same Prerecorded Set He’s Been Playing Since 2011

Looking forward to more laughs, tears, and steamy scandals with you, my masculines and feminines, in 2018!

Update! Looks like Donk wasn’t at the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility for the holibrays. Thanks to Truckstop Trollope for the alert.

Rainbow becomes one of Charlie Manson’s girls:

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70 Responses to Updated: Happy New Year, Bunnies! The 3 Most Outrageous Donktales Of 2017

  1. Grammarian Emeritus says:

    first!1!1!1!1!1 pouring one out for 2017. better things for 2018. peace and love to all the cat people.

  2. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Ha! Great post!

    In other random news, I woke up the other day to my obviously-possessed Alexa playing, only Greg knows why, Delta Dawn, which promptly, only Greg knows why, stuck in my head as Rainbow Donk. Must have been the She’s forty-one and her daddy still calls her “baby” line that did it.

    Happy New Year, bitches.

    Carry on, Rainbow Donk.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      “Rainbow Donk” as sung by Helen Reddy or Bette Midler? Think about this one.

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        Rainbow Donk, with that raft badonkadonk,
        Could it be your expiration date’s gone by?
        Your hoof’s still got no ring
        And you can’t do anything.
        Your life’s just one ginormous phony lie.

  3. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Dance Video is the ne plus ultra of Donkey shenanigans thus far, in my opinion. Maybe because I feel such a personal cringe whenever I watch it, having choreographed a dance interpretation for sophomore PE class where my teammates and I reinacted the Story of Creation, starting out as tadpole-like entities wriggling in the primordial soup (shades of Harriet the Spy evincing an onion) and evolving through stages of existence (signalled by a lot of dramatic arm-waving) to Einstein and World Peace and beyond! Our excuse was that we were fifteen years old (or fifteen-years-old, as Donkey would have it), and by the time we were sixteen or seventeen, we had gained enough perspective to roll our eyes at ourselves. Donkey has never achieved such perspective, thus the existence of Dance Video.
    P.S.: At least we were way better at dramatic arm-waving than A Donkey ever was.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      The other funny thing about this video is imagining the likely backstory. Things heading south with Choad, Donkey begging him to make her be a bigger part of his life, and allowing her to express her own (haha) creative self in conjunction with his. Her desperate need to stake a public claim on a riding-the-coattail relationship that’s clearly slipping away. Realizing she is again, not the one. Lots of anger and sobbing through arabesques. He gives in, she embarrasses herself mightily and doesn’t get the NGMB-like attention and praise she expects. Does the ‘Wow, I’m being bullied’ schtick again. Lots more anger and bawling. He leaves. And…scene.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        I, too, look at Donkey’s stage antics as a desperate attempt to keep clinging to another masculine who was trying to run for the hills. Can you imagine trying to work, to do your job, even if it’s just pushing a button and playing prerecorded 1980s new age drivel, with a braying harpy constantly breathing down your neck? Hell on earth. And he still hasn’t responded to her Yoo Hoos! on his FB profile and cover fauxtos.

  4. Eff You $$$ says:

    Also she is fat now.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Russian Girl lives and is changing her name to Christoper Life! winky emoticon

      • Eff You $$$ says:

        This is the so!

      • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

        What kind of moron changes his name to “Life”?

        I mean, couldn’t he be a little LESS obvious.

        There are like a bazillion symbols of life in religion, mythology, literature etc and he chooses the word “life”.

        What. A. Sad. Moron.

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

          The woos are always so gregdamn trite. At least he and Adelle aren’t planning on becoming the umpteenth Rainbows.

  5. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    I actually printed out her book outline for new year’s reading. It’s so saccharin cutesy, I don’t know how any agent got through this without gagging. But I’m confused and have several questions on how a book deal is made. Maybe the literary cat ladies could answer:

    1. The old which came first: the book outline or book deal?
    2. Was this her outline she sent out to several agents? Shopping it around?
    3. Would she have gotten the agent at Sterling Lord (as addresses on the cover page) first and then outlined this for him?
    4. Is an 81 page outline normal?
    5. How does one get an agent? This can’t be how…can it?

    The opportunities given and the opportunities blown is mind boggling and it proves a pretty face can get you far. She outlines visits to Italy and Mt. Kilimanjaro as part of her research … and she couldn’t complete that! How lazy can a burro be?

    Best wishes to all…even the Donk…for a Happy New Year!

    • The Nose Knows says:

      Unless you’re super famous (something else Donks will never be), you need a book proposal – for a nonfiction book.*

      Yes, she likely sent that shitshow of a proposal to multiple agents. And believe it or not, the Sterling Lord guy almost certainly signed her as a client after receiving the proposal.

      An 81-page proposal is a bit windbaggy. A better length is in the 25-45 page range.

      Yes, this is how one usually gets an agent. Granted, Donkey may have used some of her connections to short-circuit the process, but this is the usual way. And it’s not an easy one – most people never get an agent interested enough to represent them to publishers.

      *Nonfiction books are sold on spec, meaning that the writer puts together a comprehensive proposal (with marketing, audience analysis, chapter outlines, at least one sample chapter) first. Then it gets sent to agents, until one (hopefully!) agrees to represent you. The agent will likely make changes (both content and style) to the proposal before sending it to editors, in hopes that at least one publisher will buy it.
      Fiction is sold in the opposite manner. Except for superstars, novels are written, revised repeatedly, then sent to an agent. More revisions are done, then the agent sends to publishers and hopes to sell it.

      • The Nose Knows says:

        I just dug out my proposal. After my agent tweaked it and made some suggestions, it’s 45 double-spaced pages, plus a title page and a Table of Contents (for the proposal – a detailed ToC for the book is in there).

        When I was sending it out to agents, only the sample chapter was double-spaced, which came in at 26 pages plus the title page and proposal ToC.

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          This is very interesting, thank you for sharing. So in the Milo thing it went to the editor who pushed it on the publisher? I thought the agent went to the publisher who selected an editor? This whole process confuses me endlessly.

          • Grammarian Emeritus says:

            i believe that in the milo situation the editor was inhouse at the publisher, and while the manuscripts and comments that are part of the breach of contact lawsuit are amusing and revealing, the greater scandal is why a respected publisher gave that racist misogynist a book contact, and why an editor was attempting to make it marketable

          • The Nose Knows says:

            As a celebrity with a huge platform/social media following, Milo probably didn’t have to do a full proposal.

            I was using editor and publisher interchangeably because for most people, the order is: write a full proposal; send it to a bunch of agents; pray that an agent agrees to represent you; agent submits/pitches your proposal to publishing houses — the people he or she usually contact there are the houses’ “acquiring editors.”

            Once a publishing house buys a book, there’s a good chance that the editor who acquired it is not the editor who’ll be working with the author throughout the writing process. I used to be friendly with a guy who’s an editor at a huge publisher, and his sole job is making sure that the final layout of the entire book (text, photos, captions, index, etc.) is in order before it goes to print.

          • The Nose Knows says:

            Shame on Simon & Schuster for giving that hideous toad a publishing contract. They were trying to make some quick cash on an evil trend.

            The editor whose comments on the manuscript went viral was doing what he was paid to do — turn another celebrity turd of a tome into something approaching readable

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Donk’s endless, annoying-as-fuck book proposal was sent to several publishing houses. Those who read the mess found it as annoying as fuck and passed, except for St. Martin’s because it was agented as part of a package that included ghostwritten garbage for the Duck Dynasty yahoos, and that’s the ONLY reason this piece of shit got picked up.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        JFAing myself to add that one of the big publishers that rejected Donkey’s BOOK sent us the proposal and her press kit.

  6. Truckstop trollope says:

    Solstice “$I$TER” siting , not lakehhausse assisted living center
    https://www.instagram.com/p/BdDbwDeBr9e/

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Oh, FFS.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Oh dear. Updating. Thanks, you truckstop ho!

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      The cast of feminine asshats includes Adelle Juliet, soon to be Adelle Life, Jennifer Russell (pervy Bryan Franklin’s piece), and token minority Palomi Sheth, who hosted this horseshit. I assume Donkey will also be attending Nisha Moodley’s “magical spa” gathering on January 12. I hope this self-absorbed asshole never has kids.

      • Ruby Two Feet says:

        Julia is looking very wrinkled, dirty and dusty in this pic. You know, just like Shanti.
        Happy 2018 catz!

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

          Give her three years and you won’t be able to distinguish the two when they’re exiting the Camp Septic orgy tent together.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Just noticed that Kitty Kittay and Rebecca Thienmann, Ryan Allis’s piece, are in the fauxto. Of course. I’m in agreement with Grifty that Allis is paying for Donk’s vacations from vacation-itis.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Yeeeeeikes!

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      It really amazes me that these morons can’t see how cult-like they look. Or maybe they really are a cult and that’s why they can’t see it.

  7. Fell off the rainbow raft says:

    Sad, I was looking forward to matching Christmas pjs, bow legs, braying by the fireplace, and a glimpse of Lil(l)y.

    Also, the giant skirt with a sausage finger pull.

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      Methinks Robin and Petey will soon be making the trek to California for an intervention and deprogramming.

      • The Nose Knows says:

        I think they’re in such deep denial that they’ll never acknowledge how disturbed she is

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        They’ve looked the other way on behavior so much worse than this. I really think that Donkey could get inducted in a serious cult, like the kind that makes you shave your head and cut off contact with your family, and they would just be relieved that she wasn’t constantly calling to beg for increases in her allowance for more hair extensions anymore.
        I’m not sure that anything short of a multi-state murder spree would propel the Boogers off their asses at this point.

  8. The Nose Knows says:

    The top pic is all kinds of awesome.

    Jack looks like a grim cater-waiter.

    And then there’s Donkey, trying to look edgy and sexy, yet missing the mark once again. The unsexy old lady bra under the cheap, itchy-looking sheer top, and the too-too short flimsy skirt, while holding a bowl of a sad, limp salad

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Don’t forget the knees. Greg bless those freakin’ potato sack knees.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        One’s eyes IMMEDIATELY go to those sad sack knees. They should use the photo in art & photography courses when teaching how not to frame subjects.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          And that 2nd fauxto? ::shudder:: The “seductive” wink? Cover the open-eye side & you get half a Cry Face.

    • Grammarian Emeritus says:

      and, as always, who takes these fauxtos?

      • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

        Some poor schmo that has to endure the Donkey’s “art direction”.

        Oh, and did you notice how she somehow managed to place herself at the center of the picture?

        • Grammarian Emeritus says:

          i did notice that — elbowed aside anyone in the way

          • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

            The sisterhood of me ME MEEEEEEEEE!!!!

            Tho evolved, tho tranthformed….

        • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

          Yes, with little forced posing pray hands. She can never just BE. Always posing, always wanting to be the center of attention.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            No one fakes happy quite like she does.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            When I zoom in on that fauxto, it looks to me as if — compared to everyone sitting w/ hands clasped around knees, leaning into ea other, etc — Donk is squatting on her ample haunches, momentarily in the mix, because HELLO, CAMERA.

  9. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

    If Donkey’s not still posting the woo drivel on PhuturePhuckPhace’s “fan” page, I’m wondering why in the hell they broke up.

    Phutureprimitive shared Tony Robbins’s video.
    6 hrs Β·
    Motivation for your New Year’s Day! πŸ’₯
    One of my most revered teachers, Tony Robbins, on the necessity of both healthy psychology AND action for success. πŸ’ͺ🏽

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Because nothing says success like tweedling one’s years-old pre-recorded set at random dirtfests across the land while togged out in pre-worn hoods. Thith ith THUCKTHETH. At least he seems to have thuckthethfully divested himself of A Donkey.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        Never forget Tony Robbins sat on the board on known child rapist, Marc Gafni at CIW.

    • Morrocanwear is 2018’s Rainbow says:

      I had a Tony Robbins moment last summer when I was discussing a business relationship with someone and he was all β€œblah blah great thinkers…Tony Robbins…” I literally jumped up from the able and said, β€œOh no, that is not something I am interested in, β€œ and never made the connection with this guy. A bridge too far, dude.

      • melting marionette says:

        i have a similar reaction to the people on “shark tank” that use tim ferris as a business advisor.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        But were you literally shaking when you jumped up from the table? Ba donk donk!

  10. Stalker is the new trickle-down rage says:

    HAPPY NEW YEAR Y’ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL

    I have a question about Milo’s book proposal. When the editor says “Add something like this, only less self-serving”… is the “this” wording that the editor suggests? Like, does the editor add in wording to the text? (page 10 here https://iappscontent.courts.state.ny.us/NYSCEF/live/EXHIBIT_B.pdf) and I LOVE YOU ALL

    • The Nose Knows says:

      Yes, I believe so

      • Stalker is the new trickle-down rage says:

        thanks, I know jack shit about publishing so for some reason it seems weird to me that the editor is writing text.

        • The Nose Knows says:

          I assume it’s mostly because Milo is a mediocre writer and if they take away his biggest tool – being a provocative asshole – he is not particularly interesting. So, the editor has to try to keep the book out of lawsuit territory and make sure it’s not so “edgy” (offensive) to trigger massive boycotts of S&S. And since Milo is resistant to common sense and lives to stir shit, the editor has to be more heavy-handed than he might be with a sane writer

    • Stalker is the new trickle-down rage says:

      My other question is why the editor keeps telling him not to mention the book advance or talk about the publishing process. Are they afraid to show us how the sausage is made or is it just tacky? p. 135 for an example.

  11. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

    OT: Skankatron is rattling on about “sovereign unity,” “a new way of being in relationship,” in her latest FB drivel. Look for the old raunch to become a “relationship expert” in the near future when launching a new scam.

    The best thing about the post are the comments. I think Mental Dental speaks for us all.

    J Mathias Bennett
    Love it 😍 !!! Sovereign Unity; Unified, Fully responsible, and Answering to know One. πŸ˜‰

    Swain Bailey Ryan
    Thats a fuggin ton of words!!

  12. Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

    Camp Mystic shout-out in this VF piece about Silicon Valley sex parties: https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/01/brotopia-silicon-valley-secretive-orgiastic-inner-sanctum

    This explains a lot about Woo Julia that we have already speculated: putting on a bisexual “goddess” free-spirit image is her attempt to land Silicon Valley wallets, not homeless DJs.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Thanks, once again, Sad Rat. I’ve included the VF piece in a new post.

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