Donkey Sucks Up To Superstars & It Pays Off – Now With Rainbow-Approved EPIC UPDATE!

Our burro loves to kiss celebrity and/or moneyed ass, be it Dave & Brit or Bear & Kitty or even Julie Hagerty:

Missing Lilly, Donkey, or just hoping for another invite to Avocado’s moneyed momma’s Hawaiian digs?

Yoo hoo, High Fashion Editor! I’ll hook you up at Burning Man if I can do NYFW coverage for GLAMOUR!

Wow. Just. Wow. What a Bad Ass Burro! And you kittens were saying she’s all washed up. Donkey’s suck ups have paid off! Look what just popped up on our very own Goodnight Wangs’ Yahoo page:

Update: Rhoda, my dear assistant, and I had some big laughs this afternoon over Cory Tanner Glazier’s (the former mark who Donkey took home to meet Momsers) earth-shattering announcement:

Oh nose! Looks like the former Corsters caught diarrhea of the keyboard from Ali Shanti:

I’m changing my name to Christopher Life.

Name changing is normal in many cultural traditions to support the transition from boy to man, lending well to the recalibration of self-perception and drawing a line in the sand to powerfully claim a new phase of life. Over the last several years life has brought me an incredible son, an impeccably aligned wife, business successes and failures, deep transformation and growth, and a deeper spirituality. I feel like now is a meaningful time to step across a threshold from boy to man and signify that with the letting go of the name of my boy and embracing a new identity.

Why ‘Christopher’ and why ‘Life’ ?

The reason behind ‘Christopher’ as a first name is simple… it just feels right. If you know me and see who I’m becoming, then feel it out for yourself. Can you connect to the current, and even future version of myself at 40, 45, 50… as Christopher? I can. The name holds a certain tone that affirms in me a responsibility in how I show up each day with dignity, an open-heart, clear leadership, grace, compassion, ease, care and personal power.

The reasons behind ‘Life’ are more involved… This last year Adelle and I wed. (Side note: I had no idea being married would be so amazing! I’m so in love with my wife and with our marriage!) In this phase of marriage we are also thinking of children and posterity. A family name plays a central role in the identity of that family and the family line. It felt true for us to create a fresh start to our line, not in rejection of our past, but in service to new beginnings. We cherish our family lines that delivered us up to this moment, but do not feel an obligation to carry those name in order to live in genuine honor and respect of them. In exploring a new family line, we thought about the function of a last name itself… to signify the bloodline from whence you came. In thinking this through further, I left into my previous last name, Glazier, which is the name of a craft of cutting and placing glass. Well, who were my blood line before glass? How far do my roots go… to the beginning of Homo sapiens? What came before humans? Humans emerged from the animal kingdom and animals emerged from the plant kingdom. You could make a case that the first cells on earth are the furthest reaches of my biological ancestry, which is really a recognition that we have emerged from the line of Life itself. Furthermore, as we are waking up to see this planet as our home and all plants and animals and fellow inhabitants, even siblings sharing the same mother… than it is the entirety of Life itself that we choose to identify with. As individuals we are sovereign (first name), and as cells in the body of life we are united with all life today (unity). With this naming convention our very names themselves point to the true nature of our interdependence will all creation and our maturation into sovereignty and unity, which we call ‘sovereign unity.’

Why do people call me ‘Star’ sometimes? At Burning Man years ago I took on Star as a playa name. In homage to lineage, you may be familiar that all the elements that make up our physical body come from previously exploded stars and all the energy that makes up our electrical circuitry comes from the local star (Sun), and so it is safe to say that we are reorganized star-matter and star-energy, living as humans. The name Star reminds me of my cosmic lineage and our nature, as beings of light, able to emit light into the world.

Is Adelle changing her last name too? Yes. Going forward, Adelle’s last name will be ‘Life’ as well.

Do I want you to start calling me Christopher? Honestly, I really don’t care. You can refer to me by whatever you like. You are welcome to call me Cory for as long as it feels natural and comfortable to you. Likely, over time, the name Cory will start to feel more and more stale… and as that occurs, you may find that it actually feels more naturally to use the new name to address me. If you’re gung ho, then feel free to address me as Christopher effective immediately.

My Facebook, email and other digital identity aspects will be changing as well. Yes, this will be a formal, legal, official name change.

Thank you for taking the time to review this share today. It’s time to step into the next phase of life, fully.

[a ‘Like’ would be useful to help me know that you have seen this]

Photo Cred: Pete Longworth

Jeus H. Christ, this clown is pushing 40 and he’s just transitioning to manhood? Good of him to issue a drug-fueled PR release, complete with faxutographer credit, celebrating this historic moment. Julia Allison and I are SO PROUD of Cory 2.0 or Star or Christopher or whatever the fuck his name is:

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89 Responses to Donkey Sucks Up To Superstars & It Pays Off – Now With Rainbow-Approved EPIC UPDATE!

  1. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    I was asking Sad Rat in Sidewalk the other day: What happened to Lilly? Is she still alive? Poor “Marshmallow”!

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Donk had Lilly way back at Georgetown, as well as Lilly’s brother or sister until Robin made her relinquish the second dog into her care. If still alive, and it’s doubtful, Marshmallow would be a senior senior citizen.

      • dr. cupcake cray cray says:

        Average shih tzu life span is 10-16 years, so you are probably right that Lily has passed by now. But I feel like, if she had died, Julia would have made a big deal of mourning het death on Facebook. After all, the relationship with Lily is the longest one of Julia’s life.

        If Langdon is in this year’s Craymas photos at the lakeside retirement home, I’m just going to hope that her parents have Lily now as well, permanently. Dogs deserve stability and structure and attention at all times, but especially in their declining senior years.

        *she says as she gives her own 11-year-old cockapoo ear scritches and belly rubs as he is half asleep on the bed*

        • Tingolayo says:

          I’ll keep my eyes peeled for those adorable Muttville Senior Dog Rescue ads that they show here in the OMG Area of the Bay, although I’m sure a cute little dog like Lilly will get scooped up immediately, especially considering her poignant backstory.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          The Rainbow Bridge a better alternative for poor Lily than the Rainbow Bitch.

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        Lilly was just a disposable prop all along. We called it, too.

  2. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    Is that “Drag Donkey” with the dogs? If it is, then our Judy really has become internet famous! Congratulations to her! Her life ambition finally realized (and an episode stolen from Sex in the City. She’s come full circle.)

  3. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Say for the sake of argument that Burning Man is considered “creative fashion” (FYI donkey that’s redundant), nothing she wears is creative or fashionable. She wants one of their creative directors to dress her and do a fauxtoshoot? Or is offering to do *style* the fauxtoshoot where she’d likely recycle other people’s creativity ideas, only less well executed? Honey, please, Burning Man jumped the shark and you were thrown under it years ago.

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Just like Donkey to latch onto the “Bitcoin” buzzword & attach a fauxto of her raftass in hopes that the image would gain momentum & at the same time, portray herself as rich.

    From what I’ve read, the going rate three years ago was more than $400+ — how’d she get a fraction of one for $15? Oh, wait … Julia Allison is a lying liar who lies, that’s how.

    • Failed Mercedes C Class Leasee says:

      Did she sell her photos to click bait farms?

    • Grammarian Emeritus says:

      the bitcoin exchanges will let you buy any fractional amount — it’s a humble brag. if it sells for $XXX.XX, you can purchase $X.XX and get the fraction.

    • The Nose Knows says:

      Many of the scammy/scummy clickbait farms just grab photos off of social media and use them in ads. Since the master (click)baiters are usually in foreign countries, they’re not going to be sued for using people’s pics w/o permission

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      No, either she sold that photo as stock, or (more likely) the click bait place just stole it.

  5. JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

    Right, when I think of Burning Man, I think of Reese Witherspoon.

    Said no one ever.

  6. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    “Can WE get you to Burning Man?” sez A Donkey, as though from a lofty OMG Founders’ perch on the OMG proto-Dirtfest.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      Using the plural when it’s obviously the singular always feels like the person thinks too little of their own opinion so they need to bolster it by seeming more important. But she couldn’t very well invite her to be her guest, that would require too much of her.
      Also, if someone from Glamour really wanted to go to Burning Man they would have by now and not needed a dusty donkey invite. She’s shameless.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      “I was nobody before Camp Septic, just a donkey, but now, here in this dusty tent city … ”

      tina

    • Never ever breaking up or getting a job says:

      “can WE”

      What a presumptuous ass bag.

  7. Aggressively Stupid says:

    Meanwhile in Arizona, the McCain’s annual Christmas card ran in today’s paper:

    pancakes

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      They look like shit.

      There.

      I said it.

      What ever happened to Christmas cards showing sleighs and ice skating and freeway pileups in black ice conditions and the abominable snowman and all that there?

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        The shadows are batshit insane in the top fauxto and everybody looks like hell. Is Monika de Myer, THE Monika de Myer, the McCain family official photographer?

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          The one genuine smile on the card is the adopted daughter.

          Granted, I know they are going through a tough time as a family, but maybe this is the year you just send brandied fruitcakes with tags reading “m’wah!” and call it a day.

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        Definately no one in the top photo felt the need dress up or even slap on a touch of make up for the occasion. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but they sent this to local new outlet so clearly they wanted to world at large to see it.

        Top picture also makes me worry for Yimmy. Are you OK, Yimmy? OK with your life? Is this happy newlywed weight or “I hate my life” weight? If it’s the former than maybe consider putting on a button down and taking your hands out of your pockets for the family photo, eh?

        • cakez says:

          Jimmy plays a lot of videogames.

          It’s one of my favorite things about him. So normal and dorky. He also struggles with homophones.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      However far from my own ideologies they are, they could be Hitler and I would like them because they abhor A Donkey.

    • Malformed Face says:

      The baby is so cute. Donkey done fucked up. I notice his tweets are protected and I gotta believe Donkey has something to do with that.

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        When I saw this photo my first thought was that this was what Donkey thought she was going to be – married into a high profile family that has their holiday pictures published in the paper. Instead she’s rolling around in the dirt with grifters. How the mighty do fall.

    • dr. cupcake cray cray says:

      Baby is adorable, Yimmy is no longer Yummy, and, eh, I can’t fault them for the shitty photo. If Sr. is going through chemo treatment, maybe that was when he was having one good day and most of the family was around, and so they decided to take advantage.

    • dr. cupcake cray cray says:

      Also, Meghan’s face/posture in that photo is SCREAMING that all she’s thinking is “SUCK IT IN, SUCKITIN, SUCKITIN, SUCKITIN!!!” If she wasn’t such an asshole, I’d feel sorry for her that, unlike every other bride in wedding photos, she does not look relaxed and happy on her wedding day. No bridal glow there whatsoever.

      • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

        Counterpoint: I’m no great fan of Meghan but it seems like it might have been an emotionally fraught day for her, under the circumstances.

        • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

          I agree. I’m sure they had to rush this wedding so that her dad could be there without discomfort and aware of his surroundings.

          • Grammarian Emeritus says:

            I agree. I’m sure they had to rush this wedding so the fiancee could be written into the will

            ftfy

      • The Nose Knows says:

        The wedding was rushed so that her father could be a part of it, while he’s still doing relatively ok.

        There is also talk that the groom wanted to make sure to be married to her before her father dies. Pictures don’t really show it, but the groom is head-turning handsome and not exactly lacking in women willing to be with him

        • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

          “head-turning handsome” is not my assessment (have met him briefly, agree he looks better in person than in photos) but horses for courses.

          • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

            Are you sure, Tingo, he wasn’t very good looking in person?

          • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

            Um, er, oops, Albie! I’m running around the mall with kids, last minute stuff. I anxiously await the day our Donkey has children and can’t find the time to attend a Tony Robbins shitshow because her kids come first. Like that would ever happen. (Seriously, she must never have children.)

          • The Nose Knows says:

            Well, I’ll put it this way: have you ever seen the old movie “The Heiress”?

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            Bien sur, Gilly has seen EVERY old movie.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Hey, I’ve even seen Jennifer Jason Leigh in WASHINGTON SQUARE, which I thought a much better film than Wyler’s THE HEIRESS. Blasphemy?!

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            No, Washington Square is definitely better. Though I love The Heiress, too.

            I cried so hard during Washington Square that afterwards all the movie theater staff were like “Are you okay?” and they gave me a free cappuccino.

        • The Nose Knows says:

          I haven’t seen Washington Square yet, but I will now – thanks, Gilly!

      • Grammarian Emeritus says:

        meaghaan perceives that her boyfriend is a grifter latching onto her as the will is being rewritten for the final time — also, her spanx are killing her

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      YIMMY! What happened to you?! Woof.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      This group picture sort of helps explain the Sarah Palin thing. Are the McCains just rich white trash too?

  8. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Last time I read a long-winded explanation by Cory Tanner Glazier, AKA Christopher Life, it was a plea for investors to understand why he was leasing aTesla & pricey digs w/ investors money — WTF might he & his aligned wife be dodging w/ this formal name change?

    Sketchy. Sketchy AF.

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      I wonder if they’re dissolving MediMeals and will soon be on the run from investors. The woos are constantly shuttering one scam or company while throwing up another con on the internet. The IRS must have a field day with these frauds.

      Also, re: Cory 1.0 and his long windedness, he’ll never top that six-minute video in which he rambled on and on about how we should give Jess Johnson 6k/mo because the visionary was changing the world. I wonder if he was getting a cut of what ultimately never went above $300/mo. This is success!

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        What is weird is that there is another Fb profile for Cory Tanner Glazier showing him as a former professor at NYU. There is a picture of him holding his baby. I don’t know if this is a hijacked profile, but it doesn’t seem so. Maybe he had identity theft issues, or maybe he is trying to duck something. Not clear. I do remember his child’s mother posting some confrontational accusations at one point when we first learned about him, that he wasn’t spending the quality time with his son he was claiming to. Those posts didn’t stay up long but they sounded bitter.

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

          It’s a fake profile. Our Cory 1.0 went to college in California and appears never to have lived outside the state. What’s weird is that the profile was put up in 2014 and it hasn’t been removed.

    • Random Snowflake™ says:

      I’ll never understand these dummies need to change their names.. so weird.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      Heh, I remember that, too. It was near Santa Barbara, right? Apparently he is back in Encinitas, so something happened. It looks like, from his resume you posted, he has a lot of big ideas that never seem to last very long.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        So, like nearly every other woo grifter? Some of these folks cycle through business schemes less than every two months.

  9. Razzmatazz says:

    Start a new occupational naming lineage, bro … Christopher Grifter.

  10. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Name change = to avoid accountability for previous unethical and or illegal behavior.
    I don’t of cultures that changes their names but a lot of cons & fraudsters do. Who ya running from Corey?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      There are some HILARIOUS comments re: Cory’s alleged attempt at turning from a boy into a man by changing his name. Most of the fawning remarks are from woos who have done the same, sometimes more than once, and appear to be running scams.

      Joy Phoenix
      Every time I’ve come back from death I changed my name, the old one just didn’t fit any more.

      Shannon Iris Christopher
      I was born Shannon Marie Carman. At 38 I changed my name to Mirabel Moss Iris, and at 48 I rest comfortably at Shannon Mirabel Iris. My name change was one of the most profound journeys of my personal life. POWERFUL. DEEP.

      Jenn Tasnim Savage
      I am in a similar contemplation about my name and deeply honor the mindfulness with which you have arrived at your more aligned and forward moving names.

      C. Ashleigh Caldwell
      Christopher! It’s really lovely, both the name and the story! I stopped going by my birth name when I was like 6 or 7 years old. It never felt like me and frankly I wasn’t having it. I never looked back. Then, 10 years ago, people started calling me Hollywood which felt so right as well. Now I have a few names I love that I respond to. I rarely think of my original name and happy to have discarded it the moment it sounded in-authentic. Here’s to authenticity, new beginnings and LIFE

      Eden Clark
      Such a beautiful expression and explanation. We (or really my husband) have had many tough conversations with family who see his name change as a slap in the face to their lineage and upbringing, sadly the fights and wounds are ongoing, despite it being about what you described. There is such love and honor. Thank you Christopher Life.. you are that vibrational essence in its entirety. ♡

      SUCH VIBRATIONAL ESSENCE! But wait, one commenter has dared to challenge the lemmings:

      Garrett Myler
      “A family name plays a central role in the identity of that family and the family line…. We cherish our family lines that delivered us up to this moment, but do not feel an obligation to carry those name in order to live in genuine honor and respect of them.”

      The second statement seems to largely negate the first, does it not? Are you hopeful that your posterity keep Life?

  11. Ethel egg says:

    OMGreg. I had a feeling in my bones that these tossers had been in my home country recently.

    I wish I’d seen them in the wild.

    NZ is pretty much neighbour see neighbour see someone we can all fucking talk about.

    Whitney from Southern Charm on Bravo was staying near my place last week. Omg. We love american semi celebs.

    • melting marionette says:

      merry christmas ee!

      i hope you’ve finished christmas dinner right now and are sitting down to a nice slice of pav with whipped cream and passionfruit.

      hope the pohutukawa’s are blooming wherever you are.

  12. wut? says:

    Hi everyone – I’d love to hear your thoughts on Cat Person in the New Yorker. What do you think woos would say about it, given their weird views of “the masculine” and “the feminine”? Thank you!

    • JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

      Back in the day we would have gotten at least one post about it, maybe a late night “by the light of my lamp” chat about how it profoundly affected her and maybe a TMI Weakly where Julia would hog the spotlight and make it all about her.

  13. Telexfree Antofagasta says:

    Is this her actual account?

    https://www.twitteraudit.com/Julia

    • Afghani DADSTER Friend says:

      yes.

      and someone else had the @julia account and Donkey kept asking @jack to give it to her since she was such a social media star (hehehe). so someone else lost it and now julia never actually uses it.

      • The Nose Knows says:

        Cheap bitch probably didn’t want to spend more money on fake followers, after whatever she already spent on them

  14. Never ever breaking up or getting a job says:

    ME ME ME ALL ABOUT HOW I WAS THERE AND I WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED AND I DID THAT AND YOU TOTALLY DID THAT THING YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO WHICH IS SO #BRAVE I WOULD NEVER DO THINGS I SAID I WOULD #SOBRAVE #NEWME YOU ARE INTHPRIATHION ME ME ME

    christ. have many seats donkey. shut your stupid pie hole.

  15. The Nose Knows says:

    Sorta tangential, but I just recently found out that one of my high school classmates is now a woo. She works in the family business: life coaching. And she not only goes to Burning Man, but dresses up like an idiot.

    Her family has (or at least had) big money and she was always kind of slack-jawed and lazy, except for the anorexia/bulimia thing.

    Sometimes, Facebook is the most awesomest thing!

  16. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Christopher and Adelle Life. Meet the Lifes. The Lives?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Oh (third) nose! Too confusing. Now they’ll have to change their names to Rain & Rainbow Star.

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