Donkey Gives Shout Out To PhuturePhuckPhace, “Keep That Helo In The Air, Babe!”

A loyal RBDer alerted me that our burro, once again, has been pissing on old territory.

I will not be ignored, Rain! Have you forgotten we’re still in each other’s lives as friends?

Same song, 5150th verse. I’m convinced now more than ever that Judy wrote Rain’s break-up novella, which reads remarkably like Debbie Seltzer’s break-up post. Anything just to shut her up.

If Rain wasn’t 45 years young, dumb, and full of coom, he’d know what a rhinestone treasure he had in Julia Allison. Now whose father will pay his bills?

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135 Responses to Donkey Gives Shout Out To PhuturePhuckPhace, “Keep That Helo In The Air, Babe!”

  1. PrincessWideStance says:

    She. Never. Changes.

  2. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

    He must have a new girlfriend who’s tinier, cuter and younger than she.

  3. Not! Random! says:

    OMG she is truly insane. Keep that help in the air, babe.

  4. ShesJustStupid says:

    She must be feeling those holiday blues about now. It’s Craymas time! Followed by some woo-filled New Year’s Eve orgy followed by OMGVALENTINESDAY followed by Birthcray! 37?

    It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Goodness, I hope Judy responds here. She was so eager to tell Harvard MBA candidates that she and Ford never banged – “It was what they all wanted to know!” Really, Donkey? People who didn’t know you wanted to know if you’d fucked a politician you’d been dating and who took you on a skiiing vacation from vacation-itis? Well, in fairness, her Ford fling was long before our burro became America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen, so maybe these students REALLY did care what Donkey did with her cooch.

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        I just love how self-assured Donk was that she could infiltrate DC, whether it was Harold Ford or Pancakes or crashing the WHCD dinners year after year, because she thought she was unusually attractive by Beltway standards.

        She always had a greater sense of outlandish dating confidence there than she did in NYC and literally thought she could land anybody. I could see an alternate universe where instead of going the reality show route she instead decided she was going to be Mrs. Cory Booker. He doesn’t eat meat, either!

        • The Real Afghani Dadster Friend says:

          To be fair, she’s right that DC as a whole really does lack in that aspect, esp among the people drawn to politics.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            If she’d stayed in DC, she could have been Obama’s speechwriter AND Kissinger’s piece.

            henry

        • Grammarian Emeritus says:

          politics is show business for ugly people, so there’s that

        • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

          I don’t know, is that really true even to some extent? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some really beautiful wives of American politicians.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        I am pretty sure she said that she told them she “never slept” with him, and we all know Donkey’s penchant for legalese.

  5. Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

    What is this “no photo credit” nonsense? Is she claiming that she took that picture?

    She is SOOOOOO embarrassing and cringeworthy.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Ten bucks says he ignores her, though I’d love it if he deleted those eye-rolling comments.

      • Morrocanwear With Antlers says:

        He wouldn’t dare delete her “witty” comments. He has seen her wrath up close and certainly doesn’t want to poke the burro.

        • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

          Exactly.

          He is like the terrified victim in a slasher movie, hiding in the closet desperately trying to make no sound whatsoever.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Do you guys give photo credits for your Facebook pix? I mean, I know we’re dealing with the woos, where everything is commodified and a vacation with a friend becomes a product, but really?

      Do you guys post “Photo of my lunch, by my husband”? “Photo of my dog, by my dad”?

      I wonder whether Donk hiredscammed a stylist for Choad’s Fresh! ™ costume?

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        She needs to add another thing to her deeply padded resume–err um bio. Jungle photographer (aka all-inclusive resort).

    • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

      She is a Facebook Picture Profile Consultant, I’ll have you know!

      (According to some mortgage scamference schmuck from a few years ago…anyone remember what the hell that was about? Was it a Shanti special?)

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Ol’ Donkey was just working the room at an
        airport lounge when she found that sad sap.

        Probably.

      • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

        That was awesome. I’ve always regretted she dropped it so fast. I really wanted to see her prove that Facebook Picture Profile Consultant is a thing, and a thing one can use to make a living at that. I hope Dadsers heard something to that effect at some point at least.

  6. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Bottom Picture reminds me that she is indistinguishable from a Claymation TM version of herself.

  7. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    “that’s because he was smiling at me,” (subtext because he knew he was breaking up with her). Ohhh that’s just sad, so sad. She’s mainlining chocolate syrup right in the grocery store, isn’t she?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

      Followed by a plant medicine chaser.

    • Never ever breaking up or getting a job says:

      I want to know what the original comment before it was “edited” LULZ

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        “Cause” intsead of “because.” Grammarian would be SO PROUD of that edit.

        • Grammarian Emeritus says:

          BLESS

          Also, it’s shitty that he used her fauxto and it’s shitty that she called him out on it — they so seem like a perfect match

        • Hroswitha says:

          For some reason that edit makes the whole thing ten times worse. Can’t you picture her squinting at the screen in the darkness, mashing her greasy fingers on the keyboard and muttering ‘No, ‘because’ really works so much better there’?

          THINK ABOUT THE THOUGHT PROCESS.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            Seriously if she took the time to edit it, you’d think reason would have won out and she just would have deleted the entire pathetic comment. But nope.

    • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

      It’s like, I kant even. After all the years here in the basement, I still can’t quite believe THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID, much less process it. He looks happy because he was smiling at you? You mean it was YOU who made him happy? That you’re such a wonderful person and an embodiment of love, whom he loves very, very much? That is what you want the world to know? Is THAT really what you are saying about yourself, a 48-years-old (sic) person and a “counsellor” on Greg knows what, on the internet, to people who weren’t even talking to or about you? My head hurts.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        Yeah she really doesn’t get that’s what Rain Rain go away should have said NOT her. If lacking in self-awareness were an Olympic sport…

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        She needs so much to believe she was the love of these dudes’ lives, even though they weren’t that into her after all. She demands that they knowledge that she mattered to them more than any other girlfriend. I will LMAO when OMGRain marries the next woman he’s involved with.

  8. LickedRandisCake says:

    After I read the second one, my involuntary response once again….”Oof!”

    • Handbag Is Not A Toilet Baby says:

      I know. As many times as we have screamed about how she needs real therapy, not the kind that takes place in a “nest,” I have to do it again. She responds to rejection in such predictable ways, and a therapist could help her so much. I’m not a doctor so I won’t diagnose her. (Borderline.)

      • Tingolayo says:

        By “nest,” I hope you mean the patented $99* rolled-up towels that the clit flickers sell, to go along with their $39.99* lube.

        If not, please forget that I know this little tidbit.

        *I have no idea how much this crap actually costs, only that they peddle it.

        • Handbag Is Not A Toilet Baby says:

          That’s exactly what I mean, but I believe it’s a whoooole lot more expensive than that, especially for the whole package. If I may.

  9. The Missing Davos Report says:

    Shit. Just her first post made me use up my Canklehause ointment…

  10. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

    OT: Noodles’s latest post popped up in my FB feed. I first thought she was challenging Judy for the title of America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen, but it turns out she was just pulling a Skankatron.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      So she almost endangered her unborn child’s life because she had some *image* of what birth should *look* like. Christ, I can’t with these people. As much as I get frustrated with fraud in the medical community there are also great medical advancements and to ignore those for some unrealistic and unhealthy ideal is the opposite of good parenting. She failed her first test as a parent. Not holding out much hope Crow will make it out of childhood needing massive amounts of therapy. She’s a selfish asshole from attending burning man in her third trimester to this mess of a post.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        She certainly failed a test in decorum. Why would anyone post pictures of their kid’s birth to one billion strangers? Why would anyone publicize what should be an intimate, private moment? She’s as garish as the rest of the woos, and I cannot believe Noodles didn’t realize the fauxto looks like a woman performing fellatio!

      • dinkledonkle says:

        I don’t really see her endangering her child here. My baby’s heart rate dropped during a long induced labor and I had the same outcome at yay UCSF!. The only difference was that I started in the hospital and she started at home. She picked up and went to the hospital when the baby’s heart rate dipped, which is reasonable and what should be done when you are beyond the scope of care of a home birth.

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          It sounded like she was pushing back on the medical staff at the hospital when she and the doula but their hands on her stomach and passive-aggressively asked her struggling fetus to essentially *decided* if he’d like to come out vaginally that he should do it *now*. The heart rate dropped twice in this time frame at the hospital and it’s unknown how many times at home. Her selfishness could have caused permanent harm.
          The best line in the movie Parenthood (paraphrased) you need a license to fish, you need a license to drive a car but any asshole can be a parent always comes to mind with the woo.

        • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

          Have you ever been in traffic jams in the Bay Area?

    • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

      I wonder if she asked Raven for permission before the C-section.

    • Truckstop trollope says:

      This shallow gold digger scamming sisters had defenders here….

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

        She is just another Donkey, with professional photographs and better business sense, but a Donkey nonetheless.

  11. Hroswitha says:

    OT, but wanted to thank you all you writer catladies; I have been reading through the past few years of the RBD archives. My desk-erranding of late has required me to do a lot of difficult writing – basically trying to explain unfamiliar material to the public in a way that is clear and interesting without dumbing it down.

    This site has been an amazing resource for me. I know I have a tendency to overwrite and overexplain, and so much of your collective advice has been spot on in that regard (as much as I hate admitting having anything in common with JA, I can get hyperbolic if not restrained).

    Sincerely, thank you. I’m in your debt.

  12. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

    Rebecca Jean, Bay Area Hee Haw Honey, liked Donkey’s comment to Soren Fristeen about Rain’s joy actually emanating from Donk’s presence. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

  13. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

    OT: Ali Shanti, the worst goddamn person on planet Earth, is using the fires in California to shill her New Business Law Model. While so much is being destroyed on the west coast, Skankatron is celebrating a birth!

    “As so much is being destroyed and my heart is weeping for the loss of so many, I also want to share a celebration. A birth.

    Today, I saw the realization of a long-held dream come true. I’ve shared an image from the launch today, and as you can see it’s the exact opposite on the spectrum from the StarHouse project that also birthed through last week. But oh so equally delightful in my system.

    Once upon a time, I invented a new law business model for serving families and small business owners.

    Some of you know this, for those of you who don’t — surprise. It’s what I do for work. 🙂

    Back when I was in my private practice, I dreamed, dreamed, dreamed of a single-entry web-based system that would allow me to automate the systems I had created. It took up to 5 databases to make it all work. Ugh.

    This was back in the day when Infusionsoft was brand new and I did the best I could to use it to automate much of my systems, but there was still a lot we had to do manually.

    And that made it harder than I wished to deliver the kind of service I dreamed of providing.

    Over the years, I’ve taught my systems to hundreds of lawyers who have made the new law business model work in their practices with clunky, cobbled together technology, or with an Infusionsoft build-out we created that was better than nothing, but less than ideal.

    Even with the clunky technology, our lawyers went on to build multi-6 and 7-figure practices, and be loved, loved, loved by their clients. And love their law practices.

    And yet, I continued to dream of a better way.

    Today, in partnership with a lawyer I trained years ago, who then went off and got Infusionsoft-Certified, a new company was launched that fulfills on my original vision.

    The New Law Business Model systems powered by a fully customized Infusionsoft app = NLBM Accelerator.

    A big dream come true.

    As we hosted our launch webinar today and showed the lawyers we serve what we’d built, I had moments of wishing I was back in private practice just so I could use it.

    This new company has been birthed into the world with an incredible amount of ease and grace.

    From negotiating the operating agreement and licensing agreement with my partner (we’re both lawyers, yet we still hired a lawyer to help w that part) to creating all of the content and systems and financial model … each step of the way, I have thanked the Universe for each and every slap in the face I got over the years showing me where I was screwing it up and how to do it right.

    I am infinitely grateful for every single past mistake that led me here. And for second chances. And for knowing what’s mine to do and partnering with people who are awesome to do what they do best, and then getting out of the way.

    Happy birthday NLBM Accelerator. I love you already.

    Image: snapshot of the drool-worthy dashboard we built for our lawyers to use in their practices. *Swoon.*

    ASSHOLE.

    • Eff You $$$ says:

      She is a sociopath. LITERALLY.

    • LickedRandisCake says:

      You know what she never, ever does? Actually name or have a blurb from a law practice or lawyer that uses her system. None of the “hundreds” of law professionals and offices whose businesses she has helped. Only woo friends. That says all I need to know about her “new model”.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        I’m two degrees of separation from one of Skankatron’s mentors, Morgana Rae, and her webpage is filled with lies. At some point in the near future I will have to meet Ms. Rae (not her real name) and I’m dying to ask her about Skankatron.

        http://www.morganarae.com/meet-morgana/

    • melting marionette says:

      so she customized a CRM platform to help you run your (law) business better. ima just going to leave this here…

      http://lawbusinessmentors.com/why-did-alexis-neely-file-bankruptcy/

      • Energy Pussy (brought to you by BIG TAMPON) says:

        Funny how she never mentions the malpractice suit. Also funny that she is profeshinal business lady who can’t or won’t hire a goddamn proof reader. Jesus.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        She just sent an email to her listserv that’s setting up a future scam targeting idiots who’d be dumb enough to invest in her Starhouse, or whatever the name is of that Boulder woo shithole she allegedly just bought.

        “Since my birthday, a huge amount of magic has happened and I’m ready to share it with you.

        There’s both a lesson and an invitation here for you.

        If you want to read more than I’ve shared here, you can begin here.

        If you’ve been here a while, you’ve watched the ups and downs of my journey with some degree of up close and personal.

        If you haven’t, you can review the history by starting here, and then going here, and then finally here.

        And, if you want to read about the backlash I’ve received along the way, just google my name. It’s all there in living color.

        It would have been so easy to give up at any point along the way, and believe that I had screwed it all up beyond the point of no return, and I should just hide out in my bed until the end of my days.

        But, all along, I kept trusting my heart, knowing that while it appeared that I was making wrong choices from the outside, I was simply taking the road less traveled and facing the resistance each step of the way, in service to something far greater than even I could necessarily see, at any point.

        I’ll be writing far more about the journey over the coming months.

        But today, I want to share with you the culmination of many years of commitment to trusting that my heart knew what was right, and if I could keep listening to her, I would be guided to the clarity I needed to understand the purpose of it all.

        This past week, I signed the paperwork to “acquire” a very special land in Boulder, known as the Starhouse.

        I put “acquire” in quotes because this land cannot truly be owned, at least not in the traditional sense.

        She was created for the purpose of being the connection point between heaven and earth, supporting those of us who are here to remember why we are here, what is ours to do, and how to do it.

        Anyone that has tried to come in and acquire this land for any other purpose over the past 7 years it has been on the market has been unable to close the deal.

        I could feel that the land herself was blocking each transaction. I know that may sound crazy, but it’s true. And for one reason or another, one buyer after another dropped out.

        Two years ago, I began working with the current owners to have a better understanding of what they needed (this is the core of my work around “Enough” and the Money Map) in order to transition this land to her next stewards.

        And to understand what the land herself wanted.

        I watched many potential purchasers come and go, some of them had great ideas, plans and visions. And it became clear to me over that process that each one, despite the best intentions were overlooking something integral to the transition.

        They were unwilling to commit without being able to see exactly how they would profit from the transaction.

        While some of them could see the huge potential on the land, they could not get their minds to align with the reality that they would have to make a full commitment to this land before being able to see exactly how the land would support them.

        Full commitment precedes clarity.

        I want to repeat this again here because it’s the number one lesson I’ve gained from this entire experience …

        Full commitment precedes clarity.

        About three months ago, I realized that what Starhouse was asking for was my full commitment without the full clarity of how I would make it all happen.

        And, what Starhouse was asking for was for David and Lila (the current owners/stewards) to make a full commitment without the full clarity of how it would all happen.

        So, I felt the fear, and said yes to doing it anyway. I committed. Ring on the finger, “I have no idea how I am doing this, but I am doing it and giving it everything I have” commitment.

        In the process, David and Lila agreed to finance the sale, effectively no money down to give me plenty of time to raise what we would need, which none of us had anticipated at the time of our mutual commitment.

        And we signed the first stage legal documents and had a big engagement party to celebrate last Thursday night.

        Since the moment of my commitment, the most magical, synchronistic, I wouldn’t believe it if I wasn’t getting to watch it ringside events have occurred.

        The exact right people have shown up, moment by moment. The money I’ve needed at each step of the way has shown up, moment by moment.

        The creative ideas and visions that I had years ago, but had long forgotten or put on the shelf (to be done twenty years from now, I thought), are coming back alive, and ready to be made manifest.

        Things I said I would NEVER do (because I was too scared, frankly) are being called forth from and through me.

        Each step of the way I am being reminded that commitment precedes clarity.

        And it is so often our waiting to know exactly how something will happen that keeps the first step from being taken.

        Please let this message be an inspiration to you to stop waiting for full clarity of how something will happen and to dive into your commitment of what you Desire to create in this world.

        Allow your Desire to lead you into the space that’s necessary for the magic to happen to support your dreams.

        Yes, magic is possible. When your life is aligned with all of Life, the Universe conspires to provide everything you need.

        There will be a founder’s circle coming together in the next few weeks, made up of people who desire to commit their time, energy, attention and money to this land in service to Her as well as to their own personal evolution.

        It will include support from me and the other founder’s circle members, as well as from the land Herself, so you can see your own dreams of a new relationship with yourself, with others, with work, and money, and business and the planet be realized.

        If you have an inner knowing that you belong to the Starhouse land, or if you have a sense that it is time for you to belong to sacred land, please hit reply and let me know. We should talk.

        So much more to come.

        With so much love,

        Ali

        • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

          The owners financed her no money down “purchase”

          The bitch went BK just a few years ago

          • MOOP says:

            I thought she makes millions and millions of dollars a day. Why does she not have money to finance this purchase?

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Something is very fishy here. I’m guessing Shantitown is functioning as realtor, not owner. There is no way in hell she could finance a 5 million tract of land, especially after BK, with or without no money down, and I guarantee she doesn’t have the cash sitting around.

        • Tingolayo says:

          1. Are we the “backlash”?
          2. I was going to ask how this dipshit was able to buy land, but I see that she paid for it “by magic” (i.e., other people’s money.)

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Magic is indeed everywhere, even mysterious $5,000,000 land purchases, when you are dating, or you were dating, Doug Henning.

            doug

          • Tingolayo says:

            Bless you for this gift. He is one woo whom I find ridiculous, but don’t hate. There’s something rather poignant about his thrifted polyester work uniform.

          • melting marionette says:

            bizarro world wolverine.

        • Aggressively Stupid says:

          Jebus her emails are long.

        • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

          Oh, no. She better not be draining her mother’s retirement savings for this grift.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            Excuse me? That money has been strictly allocated towards stoner woos videotaping Ali as she stumbles around the orgy tent at dirt festivals.

        • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

          Ha, so she basically did a lease purchase deal, and the savvy owners will get it back when she ultimately defaults because she’s spent any donors’ money that comes in on herself.

          So now she starts up a foundation and solicits donations. Seriously, Ali, there are vacancies in the White House right now. You’d fit right in.

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          It’s listed as a ‘church’. So is she starting a cult for a tax shelter with other people’s money? Oh this will not end well. This is the Dateline special we all knew would happen eventually.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

            This hustle seems particularly risky, particularly because she’s tying the New Bidness Model into the Starhouse. The feds have to close in at some point, yes?

            “And so it begins. Integration. Sophia, the wisdom of Life, supports New Law Business Model as we invest the next three days together solidifying a company culture that reflects the becoming of a new humanity.

            I am deeply grateful to allow my company to serve as a microcosmic representation of how we can work together to create a world that works for everyone.

            Expertly led by Josh Levin and Olivia Broughton and held by Steve Dedrick, 14 of us dive in together for the weekend. On the land of Starhouse. Creating a company culture of truth, vulnerability, authenticity, productivity, and impact.

            I call this easeful success. And yes we have had to move through plenty of dis-ease to get here.”

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      ”… the StarHouse project that also birthed through last week.’

      BIRTHED THROUGH? That anything like ‘play through’ on the golf course;
      is the StarHouse project clearly the faster scam on the shilltastic spectrum??

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry says:

        Some StarHouse scam is a brewin’. She’s always up to something shady. See her listserv email above.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I wonder if “StarHouse” is the name of that renovated frame house in commercial zoning that questionable “businesses” are using as a false storefront / brick & mortar address in CO …

          I went down the rabbit hole several weeks ago on some of her shite & I think it was a website registration & listing for her CA licensing that led me to an address of hers where a Google search of addy shows kajillions of businesses supposedly officing there – looking further into who & what revealed a scammer’s wet dream of incestuous overlap.

          I don’t even recall why I abandoned my sleuthing … I think it became too convoluted &/or I just got bored, much like the effect her written word has on me.

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      I wonder what happened to the hemp oil scam she was peddling a couple of months back.

    • Walk? Not bloody likely says:

      Is she celebrating the discovery of the Higgs Boson? Honey, that was a while back. What you’re doing is scamming people who hear the words”universe” and “technology” and think it means something groundbreaking is happening.

      Also, “partnering with people who are awesome to do what they do best, and then getting out of the way.” I.e. give me your money, then fuck off and don’t complain when “the universe” doesn’t realise your investment.

      Utter. Filth.

  14. Rhinestone Technology says:

    “Each step of the way I am being reminded that commitment precedes clarity,” scams Ali. In other words, don’t worry about your concerns, don’t question the vague answers, don’t pay attention to your doubts, don’t be alarmed by any lack of solid information. FIRST you gotta make a commitment by turning your $$$$$ over to Ali. THEN you’ll understand it all. Sound investment advice, Mizz Lawyer Lady.

  15. Eff You $$$ says:

    That full of coom conversation will never, ever get old.

  16. It floats! says:

    I notice that Jules was left off Ali’s very extensive thank you list, even the part where the goddesses held her inner little girl or whatever. Seems like she is always left off the thank you list. Wonder what she did.

  17. The Tortuous and the Hair says:

    Oh, man… they’re at Indian Springs, donkey-pooping all over my happy place. 😠

  18. Walk? Not bloody likely says:

    How does a good-looking, educated, privileged person end up this shallow and insecure??

    Donkey, you can still pick this shit up. Dump this crowd, go incognito, get some real therapy, start writing, get a normal job, get real. Happiness comes oozing in once you relax your fucking cracks. Everyone loves a reverse Cinderella.

    • Razzmatazz says:

      That would require work that involves more than highlighting self-help paperbacks.

    • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

      It may be too late for a job.

      Would you hire someone that, at 37, has never ever held a steady job?

      • Because, for fucks sake. says:

        ^^^THIS! Except I’d replace “It may be” with “It’s”.
        My friend had a boyfriend like this and by the time he woke up, at 35 mind you, even interviewing at a high end city book store (because “writer”) was greeted with a “So you’ve had no steady job *at all* in 20 years? And you also haven’t had anything published in 10?”. And was shown the door. He would have made like $15/hour. The end to that story is that a small town book store finally hired him and he never showed up because it was “below him”.

        • Grammarian Emeritus says:

          a friend who failed out of grad school worked at an indy bookstore with a bunch of similar never was, never will be types, “musicians,”writers,” who somehow had apartments and clothes and food and spending money making minimum wage, and the owner just laughed and laughed at how deluded the store workers were, and how their parents were subsidizing his store.

          • Because, for fucks sake. says:

            Yes! His parents paid for everything. It was crazy… When they sold their house many people said they acknowledged they had run out of cash from supporting him. I don’t know how people can look at themselves in the mirror knowing Mommy and Daddy are the only reason they have a mirror to look in.

          • Grammarian Emeritus says:

            mommy and daddy owe it to them, obvs.

  19. Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

    OT: Noodles Moodley posted 10+ pictures of Crow’s big day for 1 billion people to see. So glad she wrote us that earnest letter about not posting pictures of her spawn on the Internet. HA HA HA HA HA!

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      lol, noodles is silly

    • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

      She says that his kid does not eat grains, flour, sugar or dairy, it seems, because she decided that.

      I wonder if she asked Raven for permission before such a draconian ban….

      • Truckstop trollope says:

        No dairy? Hhmm. Fake news. Unless she’s a formula one

        • Wolf, Hemmningway & Khaat Whores says:

          She is very proud she made him a flour-free dairy-free sugar-free cake for his birthday. I bet he was delighted!

          I am sure Crow will grow to be a happy well-adjusted adult (NOT!).

  20. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    OT: Billy Bob Thornton PSA for donkeys

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPBET18ZGmk

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