Updated, Now With Erotic Royalty! FYI: Wannabe Porn Star Michael Ellsberg Ain’t Cheap, But He’s Damn Good

Did you think I was referring to pleasurable prostitution? Smellsberg as dominatrix without mercy? Certainly not!

Speaking of Donkey, she must be posting to OMG! third-tier DJ Rain’s FB “fan” page, right?

Signing off with some brilliance from Swiss Mister. So. Fucking. Very. Good. Looking. (in person)

Update: OMG! OMG! OMG! Spending time with La Fraud & Swiss Mister is like taking a bath in a pool of warm chocolate – tho thexthy & delciouth!

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111 Responses to Updated, Now With Erotic Royalty! FYI: Wannabe Porn Star Michael Ellsberg Ain’t Cheap, But He’s Damn Good

  1. darling dearest is over this shit says:

    How do they not delete the Jean Brodie comments?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      I don’t post all of her comments on RBD and when I’ve tried to look for some of them again to post, they’re often gone.

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        Yet they don’t block her. Odd.

        • Raising My Hand says:

          I was wondering the same thing. Why would they allow her to continue her reign of terror (in the best possible sense)? I’ve blocked ex-partners and others along the way so I know it’s possible and simple. These people have such a low tolerance for negativity in their life (ugh, I just wrote that and sounded so woo) yet allow Jean to run amok.

  2. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Jean Brodie WILL go there.

  3. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    ‘if you dig down deep,’is he/she referring to the Vegas massacre? Nope, no reasoning or justifying some people are just evil sociopaths beyond redemption. I don’t care if that sick fuck had a bad childhood.

    Is mesh shirt counting Jules in his’ win’ colum? He’s expensive like a porn star’s classy.

  4. Giant-headed deadbeat dad says:

    Jean Brodie is my favoritest troll ever.

  5. Rhinestone Technology says:

    Oh Mr. D.J., if only. Yes, it is obvious most disturbed individuals come from disturbing backgrounds. But it is also obvious that serial killers and mass murders probably aren’t in the market for self- reflective healing or dancing with their inner child (children?) Perhaps you and your a tribe of healers could offer your incredible therapeutic services to this demographic? Instead of selling your services to privileged young white folk who seek to find tune their already cushy lives, you could volunteer to help those suffering PTSD and other real issues. But then again, that would require education and certification…

  6. Truckstop trollope says:

    Burner email for the overseers? Asking for a friend

  7. Razzmatazz says:

    The Dow is up 36% since “The Last Safe Investment” was published.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      Let’s hear it for The Greasy Gargoyle and Bryan “Nimitae” Franklin!


      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        The two of them look like they live in tree hollows. Little elven creatures.

        • Donkey in the Sky with Rhinestones says:

          Tiny & Cute recently called Bryan F out on a FB thread for being a sexual predator. The founder of Interchange Counseling Institute made a post about how he’s harmed women sexually, and generally has been a Gafni-like guru, and there are about 1000 comments, including her call-out of BF — apparently about ten women have come forward with the same accusation against him. Don’t think I can quote it here since it’s not a public post.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

            Michael “Fozzie” Jacobs wailed on Franklin when he broke up with Shantitown and left Boulder. Fozzie indicated “Nimitae” (BWA HA HA) gets really wasted at woo gatherings, takes off he shirt, and rubs his gut up against young women. I believe Fozzie wrote more about Smellsberg’s partner-in-slime and he didn’t back down when Franklin showed up in the thread.

          • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

            A guru turns out to be a sexual predator? How rare.

          • Not! Random! says:

            Srsly. They call it enlightenment until they’re forced to call it what it is. And the women who egg them on with their goddess complexes are complicit.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            Gut, indeed; he’s got quite a corporation on him.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        Nematode, more like.

  8. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

    Ellsberg should definitely keep his head shaved. Those curls are truly unfortunate (and I say that as an unfortunate curly girly. I look like Margaret Atwood, but with none of the talent).

  9. bitchface says:

    their “art” always looks the same

  10. IMeantItAtTheTime says:

    Whatever happened to Muse Magdalene?

  11. LickedRandisCake says:

    Most of the strife and conflict in the world is due to unhealed trauma. “hmm, I never thought of that”, said no one, ever. Thank you for your groundbreaking wisdom, oh great, hooded DJ.

    WTF is a book of persuasion? That even sounds gross and shady and, to reintroduce a blast from the past, a bit rapey.

  12. Dusty Documentary says:

    Is if the internet’s Jean Brodie really Baugher?

  13. Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

    Is it just me, or are all the comments suddenly in italics? I saw it last night and thought it was the heparin shots playing with my mind but it’s still in italics now.

    Also, Jean Brodie really is the patron saint of internet trolls. *bows down*

  14. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

    PhuturePhuckPhace’s “epic” new video. Did they edit the footage with a blender? No sign of Donkey and very little of Rain’s face, but we do get to see his ass cheeks bouncing up and down. CANNOT UNSEE!

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      He really is a one-trick Donkey, isn’t he? The most unimaginative, formulaic “music” ever.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      OMG, is he wearing a shirtless hood AND a baseball cap? What an utter tool.

  15. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

    Jaahass in Bali. She tagged 80 people re this post, including Donkey! Gawd, that voice.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      It’s too bad she has such a gigantic head wound that she needs to wear that big ratty gauze bandage turban.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

        Wearing a turban won’t turn you into Odetta, Jaahass.

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          I can’t tell if I’m shocked or truly disappointed in society that she has 1,290 views.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

            Winchester, she tagged 80 people! Eighty! The most I’ve ever tagged is probably five friends.

          • LickedRandisCake says:

            Be encouraged by the fact that none of those views are translating in to pledges to her Patreon fund.

            Alas, they are just pointing and chuckling like the rest of us. She truly has no musical talent. Which wouldn’t be a big thing if music was her hobby and wasn’t her, um, career.

        • Tingolayo's Ridiculous Turban says:

          She looks really stupid. Also, the way she talks:

    • Walk? Not bloody likely says:

      These “musicians” are all so pathetically untalented. This one sounds like someone stepping on a cat’s tail and the DJ fella sounds like a loaded dishwasher falling downstairs in slo-mo. Someone gave my neighbours’ kids a vuvuzela (African screechy trumpet thingy) and it was less offensive than either of these two.

  16. Walk? Not bloody likely says:

    The website of the photographer who dunked Sacha and La Phlegm in hot cacao or whatever at Burning Man, is too precious. http://www.jeremydeweese.com/offerings/

    “Goddess Circle Photo Experience”? Could these woomeisters be any pervier and creepier?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      Owner of Running with Goddesses? What the hell does that even mean? I’m guessing Jeremy, who hails from Moline, IL, is trying to market to the woos and did Jean Gray and Antler Boy’s “erotic” fauxtos in exchange for a shout out. Gawd, he’s ridiculous.

      Most of my clients have big dreams and huge commitments to make a difference for others.

      They often hire me because they want to create an online brand that makes them stand out. And more importantly, a brand that makes them shine for the person they authentically are.

      What makes my photo shoots an “experience” is the coaching I do with my clients before the shoot. When we drop in together, it helps me “feel” who you are. The shoot then becomes about trusting our intuition.

      It is an experience of “Surrender.”

      Surrender to the reality that you are magical. You have gifts to offer the world. You are powerful beyond all measure.

      As a photographer, my #1 responsibility is to reflect back to you who you truly are. And I see the greatest version of each and every person I meet. It’s why my photography looks the way it does.

      Because I see you.

      And I love you for who you are. <3

      To set up a pressure-free discovery session, message me. Connecting with you is my favorite thing by far.

      I am offering some significant incentives for anyone who says yes to a New York Shoot this month. This is the last shoot in New York this year before the city goes into hibernation because of the cold. 😉

      From my dear friend and client Cora Poage, the original Goddess:

      "you are such a genius at inviting the soul to come out and play in your photography."

      So, Jeremy has to get a "feel" for these goddesses before shooting them? Yeah, I'll bet.

  17. Tingolayo's Ridiculous Turban says:

    You guys– I saw Jean LaScamme’s omg book on the clearance rack and had a look. It’s your basic “you can eat chocolate and still look sexy for all the boys” nutrition-lite, with the woo catchphrases thrown in to make all the girls feel omg spiritual. It doesn’t totally suck, in that some Basics might actually find it helpful. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but it’s not total garbage.

    The best part: she thanks a million people in the acknowledgements (all the usual woo suspects are there), including Donk… but she spells her name wrong.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      The remainder shelf? Hire the “damn good” Michael Ellis to help you with your book and end up in the clearance section. No wonder La Fraud and Antler Face are pushing cups of hot cocoa at $60 a pop.

      I’ve seen that acknowledgements page. Fivehead posted it to FB and we shared and had big yucks over “Julia Alison.”

  18. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

    In my inbox this morning:

    “This is a last call on your ability to secure LIFT this year with a payment plan.

    This is the perfect opportunity to say yes to LIFT when the barrier to entry is miniscule.

    We have brought the price down from $1,497 to $497 … and now we have broken the $497 into 3 monthly payments of $165 so that everyone can get access.

    It is REALLY IMPORTANT that you have a solid foundation in your life so you can thrive.

    Please, consider doing this for yourself , your family , your team , your partners, your customers and the world.

    We all get a better version of you when you have taken the care to build a solid foundation of legal, insurance, financial and tax systems for your life and business.

    Everything you need to know about the program and the ability to take advantage of this offer can be found here: LIFT Foundation Systems & Toolkit

    This offer goes away for good at midnight, Pacific Time, tonight.

    I love you.

    To your eyes (and heart) wide open life and income.


    Hey, Skankatron, it is REALLY IMPORTANT that you pay your bills on time and not resort to begging on the internet. Tho profethunel!

    • melting marionette says:

      offer goes away for good, until the next time.

      the “we all get a better version of you” sentence – yeech. paging grammarian!

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

        How did such a terrible – I MEAN TERRIBLE – writer graduate first in her class at Georgetown Law?

  19. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Just a guess.

  20. BunnyBingo says:

    Sex, sex, personal growth. Someone forgot to take out the trash. Again. Cacao!

  21. Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

    Catladies! I had a LaFlamme sighting in midtown NYC yesterday. She was wearing the denim onesie and turban that she’s wearing in her most recent pic about the Zouk Festival. She’s very petite, clearly in great shape, and has a fresh-faced look to her that comes across as very all-American, as though if her life had taken a different course she would’ve been a cheerleader in Wisconsin rather than running around naked in face paint at Burning Man. Made me wonder whether that’s a reason as to why she clearly tries too hard to be more interesting than she is.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      Land zouks, Sad Rat! Jean Gray, All-Aussie, er, All-American Girl? Very good looking in person? Seriously, she has a fresh-scrubbed look that’s appealing, though I’m at a loss as to why she wears the turbans and goofball jumpsuits.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        She’s going to get blood clots if she keeps squeezing into onsie that’s too tight around the legs. No snark, that outfit looks all kinds of uncomfortable and bad for circulation.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        This reminds me of a time in the fairly distant past (90s) when I had cause to burst into my friend’s office, where he was convening with a mutual friend, to announce: OMG, you guys have to go up to Admin and get a look: Mary Guthrie is wearing a Short. Tight. Knit. Romper. They did get a look and ever after when any discussion of what-to-wear or who-wore-what came up, a Short. Tight. Knit. Romper was cited. Jean Gray’s is more revealing in the chest area, but thankfully at least does not appear to be knit.

      • Whatever says:

        I see a balding woman unsure all American what does that mean? All American personally offended now, since being blonde and skinny = all American. Sorry but not sorry you are so wrong, she maybe skinny and those pics with her stubs as thighs she is not in great shape. When your hair is falling due to starvation that is not being in great shape.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Holy edema, Batman!

        Gurl oughta hie thee to a lymphatic masseuse, tout suite.

      • Curling Irons at Dawn says:

        I think she wears those turbans because she’s self-conscious about her hairline, but there are so many other options like stretchy wrap hair bands. I will say I envy her Linda Hamilton arms. The chicken wing runs in my family, and I’ve never really understood what exercise beyond the impossible pull-up one does to get arms like that.

        • Tingolayo says:

          Let me introduce you to the secrets of pleasurable weight loss! For only $1,497* you can join my online summit of goddesses, priestesses, and thought leaders. You will learn how I went from an enormously obese 130 lbs to a delicious, juicy, embodied 110 lbs.

          *Did I say $1,497? Sign up within the next 30 minutes and it’s only $97. Tomorrow it’s $14,497. Next week it’s free. Act now.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Well, she’s Irish via Australia, so any All-Americana is mere coincidence.

      But a sighting! Glad she looked fresh-faced rather than grubby.

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        Yeah, she has a look that is perhaps best described as “cute but plain.” Certainly did not look grubby, and younger than her late 30s (?) But a little bit generic and boring. I wonder if that’s at the root of why she’s constantly trying to look “exotic,” dabble in various tribal customs, and wear face paint.

  22. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

    Is Rain, and/or Donkey, looking at becoming the next Louise Hay? Re: the Rumi quote in this post:

    Tovia Ben Shapiro
    Good thing you figured it out! World Peace is on the horizon now!
    Yesterday at 10:35

    Rain Phutureprimitive
    Thanks for sharing, Tovia. Do you disagree?

    Your response is an example of what I’m referring to. Notice that, of the infinite number of options you had, you responded with cynicism.

    I would guess that cynicism is a reflection of unhealed wounding within you.

    You don’t have to agree. And I may be wrong. But if you could be a happier, more fulfilled person by doing some self discovery, find what is at the root of your dissatisfaction actually is, and create an empowering alternative, might that not be worth considering?
    Yesterday at 13:50

    And if you were being sincere and I misread, I apologize. 🙂
    20 hrs

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      UGH. If only it were that easy to type a few words of pseudo-wisdom and heal the world. If donkey is writing his content she does understand that self-reflection isn’t staring at yourself in the mirror for hours on end, right?

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Chad (or his donkey amanuensis) can fuck straight off with that bullshit.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Donkey’s new version of “don’t you have bills to pay?”

      So! Changed!

  23. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    So if His Mesh-Shirtedness is such a gosh darn successful author, wouldn’t he make more money writing a book instead of trying to tell other people how to write theirs?

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      Those who can, do. Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach woowoo bullshit.

  24. Never the Bride says:

    Were any of you catladies at ACL?

  25. Scooby Don't says:

    Sharing this which I read this past Thanksgiving weekend.
    After reading through another post on these false mystics, it was nice to read a more…..mature take on religion and spirituality.


  26. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Big wildfire situation in the counties north of SF…lots of Donkey friends and Donkey herself possibly in the path. I don’t like these people, but I do hope they stay safe.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      My in-laws got evacuated this morning. Scary stuff.

    • Tingolayo says:

      You can smell it all over the Area of the Bay of St Marin Francis.

      Considering Donk can’t find/wipe her own [raft]ass, somebody had better show up at her door with a grifted Mercedes and forcibly escort her out of harm’s way. (Actually, it’s nowhere near her grifted Novato stall.)

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        There was a brush fire in Novato near 37, but apparently they got it under control.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      I woke up in the middle of the night and the smell was so strong I was convinced that my mom had finally burned down her flat (in my basement.) I left for work this morning when it was still kind of dark so I didn’t notice the layer of ash all over everything (especially in my bedroom, where I keep the windows open) until I got home. And my poor cats, snuffly at the best of times (Persians), are kind of miserable. In fact, I think I’ll send them down to my mom; it’s a little less pungent in her space.
      Hope all Bay Area-adjacent catladies are OK!

  27. darling dearest is over this shit says:

    Have you guys read the New Yorker article on Harvey Weinstein? It’s awful


    (trigger warning: sexual abuse)

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      He’s a sociopath who’s only sorry he got caught. It’s alleged that his brother outed him (finally) about 30-years too late. I imagine we haven’t heard the worst of it yet, because something prompted the brother to finally come forward, something they couldn’t sweep under the rug. The 2015 NYPD investigation likely tipped it all off but it still feels like there’s more. (Cosby-style)
      Also, Donna Karan, who designed the same thing season after season for thirty years and ousted from her own company like Weinstein, is a POS for blaming his victims.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        RBD connection: Mare-mare-beach-hair was convinced that DK had blatantly stolen her design for the Testicle Wrist-purse ™. Also one of the dummies in that long-dissolved sisterhood referenced “Donna Karen” in a post, and I seem to remember it was Donkey in her Head-to-Toe OMG Fashion Week days. Unless it was that groundbreaking-thesis fashion writer, Katrina Schmutz, who referenced something like “Van Carpal” when she meant Van Cleef & Arpels. Those were fun times; fake fashion Donkey is my favorite iteration so far.

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

          It was Donkey who wrote of “Donna Karen.” I thought our burro had interviewed her during NYFW but couldn’t find anything on YouTube. As for Karan, her attitude is disgusting re: the Weinfield brouhaha. I would expect better out of a grey flannel suit troglodyte, circa 1957.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      Glad to see Fishstick speaking up, finally. I somewhat suspect she acquiesced to HW to get roles and is lying about it now.

  28. Because, for fucks sake. says:

    So in my FB feed, JA is on a rampage of angry liking articles against Harvey Weinstein. Ummmm, don’t all of these women basically preach letting men dominate them sexually? I mean if they aren’t preaching it with their words, they’re acting out the behavior of the most submissive and non-feminist group of women I’ve ever seen. So gross.

    JA, if you’re reading this – seriously check yourself and your friends. You’re all huge contributors to rape culture.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Mulia Mallison’s association w/ sexual assaulter Marc Gafni tells ya everything you need to know about her hypocritical raftass.

    • Tingolayo' s World-Changing Ukulele says:

      If Donk had ever met HW, there’d be fauxtos galore of her jumping into his lap, begging him to pick her up, making kissy faces at him, etc. She’d blow him for shoes, for sure. (See: Donkey in a too-small polyester prom dress, hanging all over men in business suits.)

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Someone put up the photo of her in underpants with the old dude! Super feminism for all the girls!

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