Ritual Insanity: Nisha’s Naked Nutcases, Baby Sea Turtles & Cacao Bacchanale

Nisha “Noodles” Moodley, female empowerment goddess and clairvoyant, brought along tarot cards, holy oils, essential oils, and lots of markers to her latest girl grope, this one in Mexico:

Julia Allison, of course, liked this post. But I’m convinced the minute the camera was turned off, Noodles and her misguided charges slaughtered the baby turtles and smeared their blood all over each other while dancing under the moonlight.

A less disturbing ritual recently took place at Camp Septic:

Wow! What a turnout! I thought I was attending one of Ali Shanti’s money map talks at the Boulder Holiday Inn. Surely DJ Deadbeat Day will be able to send some of the revenue earned here back to his children in Switzerland?

How high are the revelers? They must have been tripping balls to be dancing that spastically, or else Julia Allison was giving free EDM go-go girl lessons at Camp Septic.

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87 Responses to Ritual Insanity: Nisha’s Naked Nutcases, Baby Sea Turtles & Cacao Bacchanale

  1. In A Coma Since 2014 says:

    Hey I just woke out of a coma and I just need to know how successful Julia’s book was. Did she get another show? Maybe some Fuck you money?

    I can’t seem to find it on Amazon. Or anywhere. And what happened to the guy granny sent?

    • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      The world’s gone topsy-turvy since you’ve been on life support systems. That guy turned out to be a girl named Myka, as the suddenly bisexual Julia Allison confessed in a recent FB post. And book? The old burro couldn’t meet deadline after deadline, so St. Martin’s finally asked for their money back. Oh, I nearly forgot, Donkey turned into a drugged out hippie living in a suburban commune with a balding 45-year-old, third-tier DJ named Rain Phutureprimitive.

      • In A Coma Since 2014 says:

        This is…not success! I was hoping to hear that she got back together with & was married to Guam McCain! Oh well. Back to reading about the 2016 election. WTF!!!!

        She really blew it, didn’t she?

  2. darling dearest is over this shit says:

    I thought the rule was “don’t touch baby sea turtles”

    Or did Paw Patrol lie to me?

    • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      Nisha and her New Moon Goddesses are endowed with magical healing properties, so I think we can make an exception here.

    • DJ Telexfree Making Beeps and Boops at Dirt Festivals says:

      Did she ask the turtle permission tho

    • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

      Seriously, it might be my landlocked dumb, but I don’t get what these servants of animals were actually doing. They collected baby sea turtles on the beach and put them in the sea, or what?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Artificial light disorients hatchlings & so they are drawn to hotels, etc — attn hoes are drawn to step over said hatchlings & enter the water where they lurk, nude, until people w/ baskets (‘people w/ baskets’ being a euphemism for ‘men w/ penises’) appear to re-orient the hatchings, then it’s go-time.

        So. Contrived.

        • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

          Ah, I see. Nothing Freudian here, indeed.

          I can see “people with baskets” becoming a thing.

  3. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Bottom Video! Yay! I will now re-watch 6 times in succession.

  4. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Bottom Video. My day is complete.

    • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

      My favorite things about the video, in this order:

      1) the arms, which I’ve come to recognize as Dancing Donk’s ultimate trademark;

      2) the location among the technical equipment; couldn’t get more random if tried;

      3) the attack on the wall. It’s like we’re in Berlin and it’s 1989;

      4) the costume (of course). This should be the new hula hooping (of course).

      • Ruby Two Feet says:

        “the attack on the wall”….omg. Dying.

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

        The outfit is known as Al Pacino’s chaps from Cruising.

        Of course.

        • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

          I never saw the movie, but the way you all reference it makes me want to. And I kind of love Al Pacino no matter what he does.

          • Stalker predated you says:

            even if he’s secretly Robert DeNiro?

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            It is very Of Its Time, but actually well done in many ways. Pacino is super hot as a faux leather daddy.

          • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

            Be forewarned: CRUISING opens with a very violent murder, so violent that I had to turn my head away.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            If I recall (despite having tried to expunge it from my consciousness) there is some intense fisting (or at least suggestive of such) action in that movie. But I do recall the plotting, charactizations, wardrobe (chaps!) were excellent. Would watch again.

        • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

          CONTAINS SPOILERS:

          Maybe I’m misremembering because I wasn’t a fan of the film (I mean can’t even remember the grisly murder scene Gilly referenced) but I believe it concludes with Pacino gazing upon his Gay, Leather self and thinking “maybe I like this?” To which I laughed out loud.

          It would be fun to see it again!

          • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

            Isn’t Karen Allen trying on Pacino’s leather jacket in the final shots? Maybe she’s thinking about turning into a murderous leather daddy?

          • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

            Possibly! I do remember thinking that she & Al were doomed as a couple after his experiences. He was going to embrace the gay SM lifestyle from there on.

          • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

            I thought she figured out he was the killer

  5. Whatever says:

    Are they all on drugs? They are like zombies so weird. Moving like they are half sleeping it’s worrisome.

    Noodles poodles what is wrong with you I thought you were a clairvoyant with super duper goddess powers. Didn’t you all do this with your magical powers? Wow it seems she is getting worse now she does tarot cards and moos at the moon.
    Correct me if I am wrong aren’t you not suppose to touch these endangered species of animals? You are suppose to get out of their way and not touch them or make changes to their natural environment.

  6. Meh or Feh says:

    WHERE IS BABY NOODLES

  7. Ruby Two Feet says:

    So help me understand this… there were men with large baskets containing fragile baby turtles but the first assumption was they were stealing phones and clothing? Like some sort of gingerly walking beach gang preying on naked (optional) and hairy women?
    Does someone need attention?

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      A proper retreat would disallow cell phones. And include a dildo table.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      Well, Mexico is a lot like FUCKING INDIA!!!!!, where everybody is always trying to steal your backpack.

    • Razzmatazz says:

      Baskets: a telltale sign of cell phone thieves.

      • Ruby Two Feet says:

        I think I know what resort this is….they have an entire turtle nesting program there but I guess when you’re a self absorbed asshole you can’t be bothered with such trivial details. Much easier to assume your chic eco resort is being taken over by cell phone/clothing thieves. Much better story and did you know…some of them were NAKED!! Tho thexxxy!!

  8. Truckstop trollope says:

    Never forget she had a defender or two. HARD TO believe given repeated shallowness and scamming

  9. Stalker predated you says:

    Has anyone here ever done cacao? Is cacao the new … anything?

    Help me understand why Jena is so obsessed with it. Because I’m thinking cacao is to getting high as white girl arm flails are to actual dancing.

    • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

      I was wondering about cacao, too. Especially since Jean Gray sounds like Timothy Leary when extolling its virtues.

    • Tingolayo's Courageous Luxury Beach Vacation says:

      I think the Mayans used it for its healing properties, which is totally the same as a white guy from Switzerland who abandoned his children to live off his new fake bride’s former in-laws.

      It’s just chocolate, which is high in flavonoids or something. I have some that I got from someone who brought it back sourced it from the OMG rain forest. It looks like cocoa powder and, like same, you mix it with sugar and milk and maybe some cinnamon. Then you call yourself a shaman and charge your friends $60 to drink it.

      • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

        I know this sounds incredibly naive, but you don’t even catch a tiny buzz? Jesus, what a scam. No wonder she didn’t hesitate when attempting to collect on insurance fraud.

        • Tingolayo the Suburban Shaman says:

          It’s just chocolate. Which can make you feel good, because chocolate. Wrapped up in a bunch of white people’s New Age cultural appropriation, a big dose of “ceremonial” chocolate can make a basic woo feel like they’ve had a OMG transformative experience.

      • Walk? Not bloody likely says:

        Holy shit, it’s just cacao without any LSD or anything mixed in for $60? Wonder if they donate any of the proceeds of this mystical and spiritual coffee klatch to the rainforest farmers. Haha, it wouldn’t even cross their tiny addled minds.

      • Stalker predated you says:

        they’re not even snorting the powder? Yeezus, that’s dumb.

        • Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

          Where I’m from, in the times of mandatory military service cacao powder was snorted in order to avoid being drafted because apparently it shows in your lungs and seems like you have TB or something. That’s all I have. Never heard of any “high” coming out of it, perhaps except being happy about not having to serve in the army.

  10. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Noodles continues to be naive and dumb. Goes to a Mexican beach and gets naked to swim at night with a bunch of other naive women. Has an infant son at home and doesn’t think twice that the rest of the world isn’t all sunshine, lollipops and unicorns.

    I hope Nvmbr reads her the riot act when she gets home. What a dumbass.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      JFAing to say I hope she reads about that British woman who was killed last week while kayaking on the Amazon. Trust and kumbaya only go so far. Noodles probably thinks sending out ‘healing vibrations’ will keep her from harm.

      • Stalker predated you says:

        There’s also, this was in the New Yorker a few years back, the story of the woman who got caught by a rogue wave in Mexico and died because she didn’t get health care (implication that Mexican hospitals aren’t that great for tourists). Roll them dice, Nood!

        • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

          My, aren’t you two jumping to conclusions. I’m sure Nisha did a tarot reading before taking the suckers outdoors to bray at the moon.

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        Of course I am sad for that lady’s family and friends, but sweet mother of Greg, that was an epic moment of hubris.

  11. Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

    lol so “empowered” and “proud” of their coochies until completely innocent men appear in the same space doing completely innocent things and suddenly, OMG WTF DON’T LOOK AT ME (even though I’ve shown the smelly white people at Burning Man my tits and where my surprise baby came out of just weeks before)

    Fucking attention whores.

  12. Dusty Documentary says:

    They can’t fool me. That is The Bad Place.

  13. Walk? Not bloody likely says:

    “Wow. One of the women had just seeded the intention that we stand as stewards of animals, and there we were.”

    I know this is just standard woo mumbo-jumbo, but this particular statement is extra annoying. If this gaggle of smelly freebleeders has some kind of magical power over the blind forces of nature, they couldn’t have taken a few minutes while lazing around their luxury resort scribbling odes to their genitalia on post-its to seed the intention that the recent devastating earthquake and hurricanes kinda not fucking happen?

    Wow, indeed.

  14. Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

    The poetry and profile pictures of Jean Gray:

    Nomads
    Minstrils
    Sun-chasers
    Moon-gazers

    Children of the Earth
    Keepers of the Flame
    Servants of the Soul
    Lovers of the Light.

    #pleasurableliving

    With Sacha Nielsen
    Photo by Jeremy DeWeese.

    ~ Merkaba Love ~

    Imagine two 3 dimensional shapes
    Colliding to form One.
    I present, the Merkaba.
    Here in aqua blue,
    It’s two tetrahedrons enmeshed.
    One enters from below
    The other from above.
    The meet at it each other’s center
    The Merkaba is our Love’s meditation.

    #pleasurableliving #pleasurableloving

    With Sacha Nielsen. Photo by Jeremy DeWeese

    • Tingolayo the Suburban Shaman says:

      Unemployed losers
      Supported by our parents
      Pretend hippies
      Party in the desert
      Burning Man costs the same as DACA renewal
      Fake white shaman
      Kids abandoned in Switzerland
      My only responsibility in life is putting on a costume
      SO EVOLVED!

      • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO says:

        Unemployed losers
        Supported by Michael Ellsberg’s parents
        Pretend hippies
        Party in the desert
        Burning Man costs the same as DACA renewal
        Fake white shaman
        Kids abandoned in Switzerland
        My only responsibility in life is putting on a costume
        SO EVOLVED!

        There, fixed that for ya!

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      I wish I could unsee those dusty feet.

    • Stalker predated you says:

      Simple-minded
      Can’t spell
      Only talent is fucking
      Li’l Miss Steal-Yo-Culture

      Junior High geometry
      Relates to my cooch
      Because that’s all I know
      I have no life skills

      Beyond dressing up.

      I meditate
      So I don’t
      have to act.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~
      In other news, that picture really brings it home what a wee little feller that Sasha is. Pocket-sized!

  15. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    OMG you guys, Chad has a new record! And he had an epiphany with the help of drugs and a shaman!

    http://www.theuntz.com/news/phutureprimitive-debuts-boundless-from-new-album-flow/

    • Stalker predated you says:

      untz untz untz untz

      Well it’s no “Blood on the Leaves” or “Bodak Yellow”… It’s kind of like the seltzer water of music.

    • Truckstop trollope says:

      Lol in the comments someone says her sister in law use yo date him. Did they overlap???

    • Ruby Two Feet says:

      His music is so boring. It’s like the worst version of space and drums ever.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      This should trigger Judy
      Monica · Winter Park, Florida
      See you in the 28th in Orlando. I’ll have to binge your new album prior to the show. Thank you Rain for all the beautiful music you create. Oh btw my ex sister in law used to date you lol
      Oregonians!!!!
      Like · Reply · Sep 21, 2017 3:58pm

  16. Giant headed deadbeat dad says:

    I bet his new album would go great with a 60$ cup of hot chocolate.

    Serious question though: where does one buy shimmery teal cut-out lace-up bell bottoms?

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