Tone-Deaf Jess Johnson, Donkey’s BFF, Comes Out Of The Closet, Sort Of

Greetings, RBD Familia! Wrinkle-free Jaahass Johnson recently posted something so poorly written that I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck she’s talking about. If you think we’d hit the skids with Donkey’s “fucoid fairies” drivel, get a load of this mess:

What are you willing to see about yourself that up until now you have been unwilling or afraid to see?

This eclipse has been perfectly timed with SO much of the collective shadow rising up to put some of the darkest aspects of humanity right smack in our faces…racism, sexism, anti-semitism, slavery, corruption, greed. Images circulating that look as though they may have been taken during the civil war…and as scary as it may seem and feel, I see the perfection that we (in the US) have elected a president who has given out a permission slip for all the latent hatred to surface like the zit of humanity’s shadow rearing up into a white head (you’re welcome for that yummy visual).

Perhaps we are in a moment of detoxification. Perhaps the parasites of power dynamics, scarcity, shame, blame and greed are being revealed and expressed in such an undeniable way that humanity is being shaken out of our comfort zones and that those of us who had the “luxury” of complacency, are being rattled out of our silence. Perhaps love and feeling and heART are ready to find the MOST creative ways of getting expressed, and it’s time of the masses to find their unique form of activism (protesting and marching and holding up signs is only ONE way…what lights you up? What ways could you use your voice and talent and resources that would light your fire and passion?)

For me, what the eclipse showed me is that my motto is not “love and light” (I don’t actually think I’ve ever said that except in a moment of parody), but rather “love and fire”.

What I have been unwilling to see is that on some levels I have taken an important voice out of the game of politics and social justice over the last 5 years. I have said “no” to the news, turned off my access channels to global issues that I didn’t want to pay attention to because my heart feels SO much that it would feel overwhelming to take it all in, and turned all my energy into cultivating myself as a heARTist…a human capable of feeling everything and helping others become un-numb.

I needed to go into my own little cocoon to hone this gift and I’m now being birthed out on the other side, ready to be used as one of the world’s great lovers. heart emoticon

Do you know what FB familia? I love so fucking much and I don’t care who judges me for that, who calls me
names, or who doesn’t take me seriously.

I am love and fire.

My fire = my truth, my intuition, my deep sense of what is no longer ok, my art, my “I don’t give a fuck” voice, my willingness to burn through the bullshit.
My love = my heart, my compassion, my kindness, my sensitivity, my fierceness, my mothering nature, my eternal soul.

So this is my own coming out moment of sorts. I help people free their voices, and I am committed to taking the next step in the ever-expanding journey to free mine. Speaking words of wisdom, love and fire.

Sweet Jesus! Did the caterwauler swallow a 30-day supply of Ali Shanti’s psychedelics before churning this garbage out? “I see the perfection that we (in the US) have elected a president who has given out a permission slip for all the latent hatred to surface like the zit of humanity’s shadow rearing up into a white head.” Lovely.

Sifting though Jess’s high school sophomore personal essay, I discovered something of a thesis: She is a lover who will now speak her version of truth to power? Ok, lady, whatever. But no one will ever confuse you with Rosa Parks or Urvashi Vaid.

Bottom Pictures! Feministas having fun:

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45 Responses to Tone-Deaf Jess Johnson, Donkey’s BFF, Comes Out Of The Closet, Sort Of

  1. dinkledonkle says:

    Is there a way to send her chapstick via her Patreon page?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Checking in … and she’s down to $85/mo, a far cry from the 8K she’d initally requested. I don’t believe she ever broke $300/mo. SAD!

      https://www.patreon.com/JessMagic

      • LickedRandisCake says:

        How awkward is it going to be for the poor schmuck(s) who are, at some point, going to want to back out of even giving her this nominal amount?

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        Never ceases to amaze that people want funded by others for just living on this earth. Arrogance + delusion = fraud

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

          A friend who had a fairly successful music career back in the 1980s posted a Go Fund Me link on his FB page re: financing a remastering project of several of his original recordings. He then posted the same link THREE TIMES on my Facebook wall AND sent me a message with the link. I’m not sure the project is legit and he hasn’t just fallen on hard times. If so, I would have been much happier just to have been asked for a hand out sans all the BS.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            Manic panic multiple posting asking for money always lack honesty from my perspective. It reads of needing cash quickly. To your point, if it hasn’t been remastered in 30 years, what’s a couple of more years? Or why wouldn’t the label be responsible for remastering from the original?
            I’m with you, I’d rather someone ask for what they need. Humility is worth helping vanity (projects) are not.

  2. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    Sorry, this is way too confusing for me.

    What on earth is she trying to say?

    That she is going to watch Rachel Maddow again?

    Is she joining the Marin County Liberation Front?

    Or the San Francisco Fire Department? (she talks about fire a lot)

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      “Coming out” apparently just means she gives a shit and will speak out about such in the future.

      Welcome to humanity, Jess. What will Wooville do without you?

  3. Stalker is the New Praise JEAN BRODIE! says:

    I got almost the same thing as you Gilly but instead of “She is a lover who will now speak her version of truth to power.” I got “She is a lover who will now speak her version of truth on Facebook just like before.”

    I’d love to see the woos actually confront the hipster racism and passivity and victim blaming and heteronormativity (a word?) that their kind engages in. But this drivel sounds like, “Nazis? in my USA??? Who knew?!”

    It’s kind of like “I have white privilege, ask me how! Special introductory offer!” that Morassi was doing.

    Nothing new to see here. Another shifting paradigm that leads the woos to look even further down their navels.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Stalker, you’re probably right in that I don’t see Jaahass actually getting involved in any resistance movement. Other than Noodles, I don’t think any of the woo goddesses even bothered to participate in January’s Women’s March.

      Like you, I found her addled epiphany, presumably written while under the influence of drugs, rather pathetic. “I have discovered there is oppression in the USA!!” So glad Jaahass could take her head out of her ass long enough to learn the obvious.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      These woos live “their” truth. Nope just there’s JUST truth, they all have narratives.

  4. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    “Greetings, RBD Familia!” <3
    And <3 correct punctuation used in direct address, which old Fissure-lips has no inkling of, making her sentence nonsense.

  5. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Those sure are words.

  6. Tingolayo says:

    “The Klan is marching– did you even know they existed anymore? I bet you didn’t! It’s shocking, isn’t it? Because I am a much, much more sensitive soul than the average person, I had curled up in a cocoon but now I have awakened and need many, many pats on the head for being SO BRAVE. I want to help black people so please give me money for playing my ukulele on Facebook NOW.”

    • Stalker is the New Praise JEAN BRODIE! says:

      “I want to help black people”… nah, she just wants everyone to shut up about it. Less help, more ignoring.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        Isn’t giving gang signs with Donkey Allison helping black people?

  7. Stalker is the New Praise JEAN BRODIE! says:

    My imaginary husband and I were talking recently about how sociopaths and empaths sometimes share characteristics. Loosely (because I had had a sip or 2) sociopaths maybe have so many feelings they shut them all off and become ruthless. This may be a similar concept to what Jasss is saying. She just FEELS TOO MUCH… and turned into a sociopath.

    It is hard to really confront the ugliness in the world but tuning everything out isn’t the answer. You’re not going to save the world one ukelele at a time.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      Feels too much = depression
      sociopaths = no feelings from around the age of 8 on

  8. LickedRandisCake says:

    Every time she writes heARTist, my brain changes it to fARTist.

    ‘Tis juvenile, I know. But, it makes me laugh every time. And I’m only in this for the yuks so, that works fine for me.

  9. Stalker is the New Praise JEAN BRODIE! says:

    These are the people whose orgy warehouse burnt up and killed 30+ people and never said a word about it.

  10. Whatever says:

    What in the world is she saying? Really not getting it she most likely on heavy duty drugs and was on one. Magicless she is more like
    Scammer
    What a dumb ass, oh I agree with everyone chapstick girl $ 1.29 seriously. She is aging faster must be the drugs

  11. Pass the Nachos Please says:

    How about shutting up about the speaking, and go volunteer in a soup kitchen, or read to children on a regular basis?

    Speaking of privilege, someone on FB posted this:

    Dear Burners…have a nice trip down to your bubble of lame.
    https://tryingtobegood.com/creativity/dear-burners-have-a-nice-trip-down-to-your-bubble-of-lame/

  12. Tingolayo says:

    Mouth just like a butthole
    Hair like Miley Cyrus
    Unemployed at 40
    Brave suburban assclown.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Fry voice from hell
      Insecurities writ large
      Hay-textured hair
      Weeps nightly.

  13. Razzmatazz says:

    If that was a video, I assume some caricatured racial stereotypes would have been thrown in.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Donkey would be so down with racial mockery.

      gang

      • Tingolayo says:

        That’s quite the study in terrible pelts, kissy face, and old nose.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          And chola brows.

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

          Whatever became of Sklarge? Talk about being high on her own fumes. That nutcase used to come in here under a fake name and exonerate her shitty behavior. Bats in the belfry!

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            She turned up on my Twitter feed as a retweet the other day, so I half-assedly Nancy Drewed her. She has a baby and some kind of Internet network thingy for lady bidniss ladies. Wevs, sklarge, wevs.

  14. DJ Telexfree Making Beeps and Boops at Dirt Festivals says:

    When is Judy going to get The Margarine Factory started, that’s what I need to know

    Hopefully Rain doesn’t drop one of his hoods in the vat

  15. ShesJustStupid says:

    Lol Alexander Marquardt aka the donkey fucker in the friend’s TriBeCa apartment was just on CNN talking about the Sheriff Joe pardon. Can’t take him seriously even though he’s talking about the latest fuckery from our asshole in chief.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      He has not aged well, probably God’s punishment for having once banged a barnyard animal.

      donkeyfucker

  16. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

    La Fraud’s new cover fauxto. Are she and her fellow performanth artith taking a dump?

  17. Darling dearest communicates with grace says:

    “Images circulating that look as though they may have been taken during the civil war”

    wtf is she talking about?

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