Yoo Hoo, Donkey! The Dashing Lord Welburn Wants To Make You His Kate Middleton!

A devoted RBDer introduced me to Lord Brian Welburn, Julia Allison’s greatest fan. Brian, a “24/7 computer geek” living in Birmingham, England, credits Donkey’s lipdubs with inspiring him to pursue his dream as a painter. Yes, our burro energizes creatives!

Donkey & Lilly. In oils.

Behold! Where it all began!

In addition to immersing Judy in boiling oil, this budding Van Gogh has subjected Jennifer Love Hewitt and DEXTER’s Jaime Murray to multiple canvases. Brian also created this captivating self portrait:

Pancakes McCain may not approve, but I think Dadsers will:

Hey, Judy, sometimes you just know when you know. Isn’t it time you leave Chad to his groupies and embrace your fate?

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48 Responses to Yoo Hoo, Donkey! The Dashing Lord Welburn Wants To Make You His Kate Middleton!

  1. Never the Bride says:

    Is this April fool’s day or something?

  2. Princess WideStance says:

    He’s no Telexfree, that’s for sure.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      He’s more like that fappening guy with the blog who was obsessed with Donkey..

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        That American who lived in, I believe, Korea? We’re not allowed to say his name, but I mercifully don’t remember his name. Besides, I think Brian is in a whole different class of loon.

    • DJ Telexfree Making Beeps and Boops at Dirt Festivals says:

      Thanks PWS! Incidentally, Puspito Vito Oo Nughroho is visiting this part of Chile next week, should be a blast

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        I miss old Pus. Let me tell you, you won’t be bored. That guy is one helluva raconteur.

  3. Maze says:

    Picture of Dorian Gray?

  4. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Image #4 –Theodore Dreiser is looking rough these days. Even for someone in the ground for so long.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Do you think having a soulmate who breathes matters to Judy Albertson? Sheesh, FLM!

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        Ha! Quick or dead, were the Lord title legit, she would have been all over that in two shakes of a donkey’s tail and not have “put a wrong foot forward,” to use her own garbled frocks-shoppe parlance.

  5. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat Whores says:

    I wonder how Wahli feels about this.

  6. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

    Jena la Flamme, AKA Desert Princess from the planet Mule, is still celebrating her birthday and passing along the joy to you!

    Jena la Flamme
    2 hrs ·

    ~ My party that lasted for 3 days & b’day special extension ~

    Woah! Turning 39 has been a whirlwind of joy and adventure. It began with a costume party I hosted at my place. Dressing up as an alternative identity adds magic to the mood! My costume was Desert Princess from the planet Mule. (If you’re not familiar with planet Mule, google it.)

    My divine Swiss hubby catered delicious food for the evening, and baked me a homemade chocolate birthday cake, with real Swiss chocolate. Yum! At midnight, he gathered the party in a moment of focused intention and delivered the cake with candles blazing.

    He and I sing together often and know many of the same songs, but instead of leading a happy birthday song to me, he asked me to lead it. At first I stubbornly resisted, but he insisted so I surrendered and opened my voice to lead the call and response song.

    The words go:
    Happy Birthday to you
    We’re so glad you’re alive
    You’re a gift from the Earth
    Bless the day of your birth

    The next day he told me, “Jena, the reason I wanted you to lead it, was so that you could declare for yourself that ‘you are a gift from the Earth,’ and not be waiting for your mother or father to say it for you.”

    Now it all made, sense. I felt the power in his message:

    It is transformational to celebrate yourself.

    It is life-giving to own that you are a blessing—a gift from Life and a gift to Life.
    Every day we can celebrate our birth, and the privilege of having a female body!
    Every day we can embrace what I call our Erotic Innocence, our childlike curiosity about our bodies and the worlds.

    In doing so, we catalyze our own metamorphosis.

    I mention this, because if you’d like my support in your transformation, where you
    want to
    — Lose weight in a pleasurable way
    — Walk the world with unshakeable body confidence and/or
    — Empower your sexuality to new heights
    …you’re invited to take me up on my birthday special of a 60-minute VIP Erotic Innocence Strategy Session by phone or Skype for 50% off. ($125, normally $250.)

    https://www.jenalaflamme.com/birthday/

    Because of my unexpected 3-day birthday festivities, the special has been extended to Thursday, August 3rd, at midnight PT. This session comes with a full money-back, satisfaction guarantee, so you can try it out with no financial risk.

    Happy re-birth to me and to you, every day of the year.

    Who do you want to become? Let me help and guide you to her.
    https://www.jenalaflamme.com/birthday/

    With love,
    Jena la Flamme

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Why do none of them know how to spell Whoa?

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

        May I show you?

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          Actually, Mesh-shirt is the only one among them whose spelling and grammar is usually acceptable.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

            We can also credit Mesh-shirt with helping Judy Albertson on that hilarious BOOK proposal. Do you think he suggested footnotes on every page?

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            An outrage to the memory of David Foster Wallace.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      Planet mule is where drug mules come from, right?

      Gift from the earth? Really, Jenna??? The woos are always humble.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        Excuse me? It is transformational to celebrate yourself. The self-proclaimed goddess known as Fivehead wrote that so it must be true.

      • Maze says:

        It’s Julie’s home world.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      It’s so wonderful she got to celebrate herself for a change. Because she never does that.

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      Jena has mommy issues. Second time her “mother” and “shame” have been mentioned in the past few days.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        Well she was shot directly from her mother’s vagina into lov-ah Ria’s pudendum. EW. EW AGAIN. Whatever happened to her Aussie GF?

        • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

          Haven’t you heard? Jena’s wasn’t born of a vagina, she’s a gift from the Earth. Swiss Mister allowed her to say it on her birthday so she “didn’t have to wait for her mother or father to say it.” The only way that thought makes sense if:

          1. Jena has mommy and daddy issues and hates them.
          2. They have more sense than to speak crazy-talk.

          • LickedRandisCake says:

            3. This gets Swiss Mister off the hook for abandoning his children so he can fuck Jena in fields of wildflowers. They don’t need him to celebrate their births. They can just do it themselves!

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      Jenna was featured in (logos galore): I read “Prevention” as Intervention. I also think prison will one day make that illustrious list.

    • Darling dearest communicates with grace says:

      “He and I sing together often and know many of the same songs, but instead of leading a happy birthday song to me, he asked me to lead it. At first I stubbornly resisted, but he insisted so I surrendered and opened my voice to lead the call and response song.”

      this sounds like code for a fight to me

      • melting marionette says:

        or a badly-written description of flim-flam trying to act coy.

        still shilling the pleasurable weight-loss thing, eh?

  7. Meh or Feh says:

    EROTIC INNOCENCE

    [vom]

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      … can be yours for only $125. That’s 50% off the regular cost. Take advantage of Jena’s extended birthday savings today!

  8. Whoa Donkey says:

    Opened Jena’s birthday post and immediately read this sentence: “Innocence is a greater healer than shame.”

    When is shame ever a healer?

    What the hell is she talking about. It’s like Mad Libs.

    • Maze says:

      Tedium is a better soporific than fascination.

      Love is a greater teacher than indifference.

      Blisss is a greater healer than a pair of old shoes.

  9. Tingolayo says:

    I say this all the time, but Donkey’s white plastic chompers… good Greg.

  10. Fieierce Mani says:

    He painted Trump in way more detail than donk or himself. What does this mean!!!!

  11. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Are these actual paintings (I mean painted with literal paint, as opposed to some kind of translate-photo-image-to-hand-rendered-brushstrokes app?) Because they sure don’t look like actual paintings. Except for the disinterred Theodore Dreiser one, which is somehow growing on me.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      They’re digital paintings. Surely you don’t think Lord Welburn would get his hands dirty?

  12. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Ha, isn’t that lip dub from the time she talked the garage into giving her the car of an ex-bf without his permission (the guy in whose apartment she continued to live rent-free for a couple of years)?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      That fiasco was just a little bit before my time. Wasn’t he married and wasn’t Donkey engaged to that Georgetown Law School schlub – unlike Ali Shanti, not first in his class – when they hooked up?

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        Yup. Same guy who “took her” to Paris and bought her the green sparkly shoes. She’s claimed she had some kind of development deal with Spelling in LA while she was living there with her fiancé, but surprisingly that zeroed out, so I guess she needed attention and decided to flee to NYC with a somewhat connected high income earner. She bragged about the development deal but never actually discussed what happened (that I saw), so it was like BOOK before BOOK.

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