Ali Shanti Wants To School You In Shit. Literally. With Shrillness.

Split personality Alexis Neely and feces – a match made in heaven!

That voice! Worse than nails running down a chalkboard.

“This is one of those things that is way better if you’ve got a guy along with you.” What the hell does that even mean? Only the masculine is equipped to deal with waste disposal? These woo women seem more intent on gender division than the mercifully dead Phyllis Schlafly.

If you’re a feminine, don’t join a grifting circle! Join Poopy Pants and become a hemp dealer in a pyramid scheme:

And there’s this:

One of her three favorite things is ingesting hallucinogens? Inducing a state of schizophrenia? Wow. Just. Wow. Considering the birth father taking care of her kids is an alcoholic who’s been known to fall off the wagon, even driving those kids to school when drunk, and Mommy is seeing things that aren’t there while banging boys young enough to be her son, maybe it’s high time – see what I did there? – those kids should be removed from that environment?

On a sad note, it appears one of Ali’s former pieces, Michael “Fozzie” Jacobs, is FB pals with her current piece in recovery, Doug Henning. Please tell me Fozzie isn’t hanging with these folks:

Bottom Picture! Post naughty bidness:

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57 Responses to Ali Shanti Wants To School You In Shit. Literally. With Shrillness.

  1. IMeantItAtTheTime says:

    Everything is sagging. No more videos, please!

  2. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    She needs a gifting circle of bras, sunscreen, and voice training.

    I am kind of appalled by these revelations about Thin Bruce Vilanch. Don’t get me wrong, I’d never stop drinking if I had ever been married to SKB3000, but don’t drive the kids when you’re boozing!

    Those poor kids. Maybe one of them will write the next Glass Castle, though.

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      She sent out that little revelation in a listserv email some time ago.

      Loose lips sink ships, Shantitown, and sometimes send one to family court.

  3. Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    I wonder if all her exs have a support group?

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    I noped right on outta there at “I’m gonna to do it barehanded.”
    ::hurl emoticon::

    And that voice! WTF, did Ali leverage her larynx in bankruptcy court?

    Okay, so this dumb bint has both an RV & a Sphincter Van, neither of which she uses to travel cross-country to take her mom on an RV excursion? YES, Ali Shanti, please tell us MOAR how you’ve mastered both money & caravan life, because you’ve clearly got a bare-handed handle on all the $hit.

    RELATED: Friend who is a hairdresser, for her daughter’s Crazy Hair Day at school, fixed the kid’s brown hair up in a poop emoji complete w/ cutouts for eyes & mouth. I nearly LMRO, it was such a perfect replica.

  5. melting marionette says:

    rv road-trip? julie could have hitched a ride with her cross-country and finished her book.

  6. darling dearest asks permission says:

    lower arm?

  7. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Gasp! Gag! Those pictures…!

  8. BunnyBingo says:

    Omg, Ali sounds like the Sexy Baby girl from 30 Rock. What a shocker.
    And those babies of hers need a bra, how can that be comfortable?

  9. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    SEMI-RELATED: There’s a sort-of-GOMI-like cite / site / sight called Turtle Boy Sports where shaming scammers is de rigueur, & quite often, like this 25-y-old semi-versed in woo vernacular & coincidentally already a hater of society’s ‘money conditioning’ POS, it’s quite Deja Woo over there. Poor mutt; he just needs someone to feed & water him.

    ::waives to Ali; stage-whispers “Fresh Meat!!”::

    • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      Disagreeing with “the concept of money” while simultaneously begging for money on the internet? If only we could put them all on one island and watch them parasitically devour one another.

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        It nearly happened! Lord of the Woos!


        • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

          I just realized that’s The Jazzerciser in the lower left.

          • Tingolayo says:

            Good (?) catch!

            I’m simultaneously vomiting, and encouraged by that the fact that they (probably) had to wash off the mud at some point, and thus inadvertently had contact with soap and water.

          • Worrisome Pelts Needs Subtitles says:

            I find myself unjazzed by his size.

          • Razzmatazz says:

            He’s a mudder, not a big brudder.

  10. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    Why is that every time she writes “gifting”, I read “grifting”?

  11. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    I am glad to see that Fozzie has money for essentials, like massive tattoos.

    A tattoo that size can cost about $1,ooo, I guesstimate.

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Last I’d heard he was working at a restaurant, so I’m guessing mom & dad paid for the big new tat.

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        JFAing myself because I spoke too fast there. Pimp Lion, the former host of Pursue Your Dream and the former CEO of SocialLink App, just dropped a new mixtape, which no doubt PAID for the ink.

        • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

          I am too scared to click on that link.

          What I hear may scar me for life.

          • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

            But “he’s back, into creative expressions and music. Man, I’ve just being hustling and trying to make money. I ain’t gonna lie. This music shit ain’t that fulfilling, either, but I’m gonna share it with the world … something important but I fucking missed it and I be tripping and I fucking … seems like I fucking lost it and I feel like I’m in a coffin from so much smoking … ”

            I’m not making this up. Don’t quit your day job, Burger Prince.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            Poor Fozzie. Still a lost soul casting about.

        • Dcmbr Song says:

          Rode hard and puttaway soft. But I say leave him outta evyting

      • Morrocanwear...I love you dance video! says:

        I don’t think a low wage worker can live in Boulder without mom and dad’s help these days. Rent there is crazy (says the mom who was paying rent for her full-time student there for 3 years).

  12. Tingolayo says:

    Does Donk just flat out admit to Choad that she has no plans to work, ever? Do they live off his dirt festival money and whatever Donk can cadge from her daddy?

    Or does she have a pretend desk with a row of purple glitter pens, where sits and pretends to work? Does she keep up this charade with Choad?

  13. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    I don’t understand the need to document what you do at a RV dump station. Who is this for, exactly? And FFS, wear disposable gloves when you do this, you moron.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      They literally have to document everything, including shitting, like they’re the first to ever do it. If you’ve owned or rented an RV this is not anything new. They are so unremarkable in everything they do.

  14. Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

    OT: Has anyone read The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly by Stephanie Oakes? I never heard of the book or the author but I somehow randomly picked it from the library today. I also don’t think I’ve ever read a fiction book about an insane cult and WTF the narrator has no hands (that is so NOT what I’m typically attracted to / excited about), but, somehow I picked it. If anyone has an opinion I’d love to read it.

  15. Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:
  16. Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

    You know, nothing like being a good woo and keeping your carbon footprint low than by driving around a giant tour bus that gets maybe 9 mpg tops. Good job, Shantitown.

  17. Psycho Shiller Qu'est-ce Que Bray says:

    Apologies if this has been discussed before (I am a couple of posts behind) but for how long has Julia’s Wikipedia page read “Julia Allison (born February 28, 1981) is not an American journalist, television commentator, public speaker and former BRAVO star.”?And “Upon graduating from college, she moved to New York and began working as a ho for amNewYork,”? It startled a belly laugh out of me. Well done, anonymous Wikipedia author.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      July 3rd, according to hx, but the better question is: how soon before Donkey-who-never-reads-here stomps her hoof & gets Wimmy to undo it?

      I give it <2 hrs …

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Thanks for the alert! Judy’s honest wiki update is now the subject of a new RBD post.

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