Indulge! Julia Allison, Unemployed “Amateur Dancer,” Will Be Happy To Provide A Testimonial For Your BS Woo Happening

Donkey is now lending her name to her fellow woos’ shitshows. How fitting that she should provide a testimonial for Indulge, which is essentially a spa day in which goddesses eat organic food while men wait on them hand & foot.

Come indulge with us in a day of deep sensuous delight.

*A morning filled with practices to get us embodied and related
*Organic, healthy lunch with vegan and gluten-free options
*An afternoon of self-care experiences and sisterhood
*Snacks and beverages all day to keep you delighted and hydrated
*Men ready to serve
*Beautiful, vibrant garden
*Saltwater, solar heated pool and hot tub

You’ll have a whole day at beautiful private home in Marin where you can move about as you wish, talk, laugh, eat and take in many self-care experiences, all while being looked after by your hostesses and men tending to your desires.

One the organizers is Kim Iglinsky. Like Myka McLaughlin, a Julia bestie, Ms. Iglinsky is a former model “but even with all the money, fame and fun; her soul felt progressively more bankrupt” and so she went on a journey of EAT BRAY LOVE. Iggles is now ready to pass along everything she learned to you!

Another organizer is Jennifer Russell, Petey’s playmate at Donkey’s 36th birthcay, who, along with hubby Bryan Franklin, is a major con artist. Julie & Rain went to one of Jen & Bry’s couples events, and I’m guessing Donk owes her one.

Among the six testimonials:

“Indulge is the most enlivening, sensory delighting, trust building, empowering event I’ve ever experienced. This year will be my FOURTH time. It’s the not-to-be-missed sacred event to kindle your capacity to receive so that you can go back out into the world and give from a place of surplus. It’s so exquisite. Don’t overthink it, just say YES. Your heart, your mind, your body, your soul will bow at your feet and say thank you.” ~Stacey Morgenstern

“It was an honor and a privilege for me to serve the women. Watching the women take in the care and pleasure was deeply satisfying, healing and fun. Providing and serving gave me a real sense of being a Man!” ~Gregory Kellett, Ariel White’s bald piece

“Filled up. Nourished. Honored. Cared for. Empowered. Embodied. Radiant. Yummy. Delighted. Sensually uplifted. Serene. Grateful.” ~ Julia Alison [sic]

Has Donk forgotten how to write in complete sentences? I was reminded of this endorsement, which launched Debbie Seltzer’s brilliant career:

Please note: There will be absolutely no diddling, Gregory! “The intention of this event is for you to feel sensual, relaxed and safe. It’s about nurturing our bodies in a new way that allows us to come alive for ourselves. There will be absolutely no sexual content or behavior.” Jena & Ali will not be coming, as it were, so to speak.

Thanks to the RBDer who alerted me here. Check out the website, point and laugh, and enroll today!

http://indulge2017.weebly.com/

In other Donkey news, as reported in the last post’s comment section, Peter Baugher is opening up his own firm, AT AGE 68!

Is he working to keep Donkey in Yandy chaps?

Finally, look who’s still milking that yahoo article:

You should not be doing any work with children, Morass; a court order should keep you at least 500 feet from anyone under 21 years of age.

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109 Responses to Indulge! Julia Allison, Unemployed “Amateur Dancer,” Will Be Happy To Provide A Testimonial For Your BS Woo Happening

  1. Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

    Uh-oh, it looks like Noodles is experiencing true Internet hatred, not the light vitriol we do around here.

    I feel sorry for the baby but, really, she should think twice about using him as a prop for attention whoring.

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Yep, she’s the one who plastered Crow all over the internet and was foolish enough to talk to the press about a practice that she surely knew most folks would find ridiculous.

      Aren’t the woos supposed to be experts in branding and social media?

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Noodley has her social media such that you have to go about seven pages before the articles show up. It’s pretty buried. Two of the sites had just a handful of comments, nothing too bad, one other had none at all. But there was a right wing site that had a lot of brutal comments, mostly about liberals in general vs. about Noodley. And the Yahoo article was also almost universally negative.

      One thing I’ve always felt about Noodley is that she’s naive and awfully dim. Exploiting your child for your own benefit is a stupid fucking idea no matter which way you look at it. I know she wants people to think she’s such a fabulous role model and is so thirsty for constant praise, so it isn’t surprising she’s chosen this route. But it is SO stupid, even for Noodles. And especially since she was so concerned about RBD posting any pictures of the baby. She’s ended up stumbling into something far worse, and it is completely her fault. She’s now saying she’s getting death threats. What a dumbass she is. I hope Noah is strong enough to tell her to knock it off and lock down her Instagram and FB.

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        Good luck with that. She just posted a dozen fauxtos of Noah and Crow.

        • Razzmatazz says:

          “Crooooow!”

          • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

            crow

          • Morrocanwear loves you dance video says:

            I am actually sitting with my husband and son as they watch this right now. Fun Fact: Joel Hodgson lives not too far from me and has taught classes on how to snark at movies at our local community college.
            Robot countdown! Cambot! Gypsy! Tom Servo! Crooooow!

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            MST3000K is a goddamn national treasure, is what.

      • Whatever says:

        Noodles eats crow for sure and is thirsty for attention. She isn’t the smartest tool in the shed is she? How stupid for her to talk to a reporter and ramble about what most parents do talk to your child, talk to anticipate what you are doing couldn’t articulate that instead; She is so desperate to be a role model, bestest figure woo so popular, reflective and proved us right she is dumb as rocks. The whole end rape culture was thrown back in her face,it’s more complex than figuring out a yes by your infant vs. your baby burped dumb dim witted noodles 🍝 Noodles wanted hashtags not have a discussion about ending rape culture. She uses this topic and so much more to be a attention seeking dumb bitch rather then trying to problem solve societal issues. Noodles RBD and the world knows you are attention seeking dumb ass it was all because of YOU.

  2. Tingolayo says:

    Gilly, do you want to come over this weekend and hang out by the pool? I’ll make some iced tea and we can get pedicures later.

    This event is entitled RELAX ™ and is limited to only two participants. If you reply today, you will get the special discount rate of $399.99 (valued at $4,999.99, which is what I’m charging my mom.) Don’t miss out on this life-changing opportunity.

    • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      Also see: Sisterhood & Snacks ™

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      Tingo, I am there! I was going to use that $399.99 to buy ballet lessons for my daughter but dammit, I need some me time. I hear Rain Phutureprimituve will be our attendant. Can’t wait until the shirtless hoodie hunk feeds me grapes!

      • Tingolayo says:

        You really deserve some “me” time! In fact, I deserve so much “me” time that I left my children in Switzerland.

        • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

          I like the way you think! I am SO TIRED of adult responsibilities and having to pay, pay, pay for those damn kids.

        • Morrocanwear loves you dance video says:

          I hope you are providing menfolk to serve at your event!

          • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

            And not the homeless men serving as sex partners at Pamela Madsen’s weekends du sleaze!

          • Tingolayo says:

            Excuse you, they are TRAINED PROFESSIONALS. They are TRAINED in serving The Feminine. They LITERALLY went to trade school (i.e., DJ Burger King’s parents’ basement) for this.

  3. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

    For a writer, that is one poorly written promotion. Grammarian, can you weigh in on all the offenses?

    BOOK left on its on volition.

    • AnnaPelt Is Happy at 138 says:

      “Filled up” made me all EW.

    • Grammarian says:

      it’s awful. like all cons, it makes vague, buzzword promises. no actual agenda, content or information. all bray and fury signifying nothing.

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      So profeshunal – they even misspelled Judy’s name.

    • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

      Possibly an attempt at legalese? She’s never been to the retreat and therefore couldn’t leave a positive description of her experience so she made up some nonsense string of consciousness?

  4. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Donkey finds herself “Yummy?”

    • Worrisome Pelts Needs Subtitles says:

      That’s kind of what this blog is about.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Remember when she said she wanted a dude who was “sexually delicious”? And yet here she is now with dusty turkey jerky Phuturephiphty.

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        Her original come-on to him was “Why don’t we fuck until we both find someone else?” So the whole thing is based on sex, and of course that will wear off.

  5. Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    “No sexual content” is that to discourage from Smellsberg for offering up his abusive services? That’s some serious shade to Ali, Jena and Mesh shirt.

    • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      JFA’ing (typos) and is this sensual day at donkey’s “beautiful private home in Marin”? Is someone having trouble making the rent again and airbnb isn’t an option? Hope whoever is “hosting” this event has a business license and or necessary permits.

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        These asshats are ALWAYS scrambling to make rent. Just ask Ali Shanti’s curtains.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I’d be willing to bet that this “private home” IS AirBNB’d … by the woos for the sole /soul purpose of having digs to monetize for the day … doubtful that owners have a clue about an event scheduled there & being promoted internet-wide as a ‘come all ye who may’.

        (If) it’s got Donkey’s hooves all over it, it’s dirty, doncha know.

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          They’re all so sketchy.

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        Donkey lives in Novato, this bacchanal is in San Rafael.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      They told the women attendees to wear sensual clothing, some are even saying they are wearing see-through outfits, but yet there will be absolutely no sexual activity at this event? I wonder if this is just an entry level grift to entice the women to graduate to OM diddling at the next party?

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        The website indeed has a Club Med attitude, so the sex ban seems rather bizarre. Maybe they’re just legally covering their asses?

  6. donkin donuts says:

    Cats I really, really fantasize about sitting down with 2007 Julia and showing her that video of 2017 Julia dancing, then describing the general state of her life… It is to laugh!

    • Worrisome Pelts Needs Subtitles says:

      The Julia who stood on the table at thr NYPL would call you a hater and remind you that she’s a MUSE for Gustavo Cadile and also that Rama-lama-ding-dong jewelry designer. #paid

  7. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    That model is very unpleasant looking.

    • melting marionette says:

      ‘Breastless as wallpaper. By all that’s sentient, my last postmortem had more go in it than the pair of ’em, turning somersaults.’

      Mervyn Peake – “Titus Groan”

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      She looks like a hologram that hasn’t eaten in months.

      scarykim

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      She looks like she’s made of plastic.

      • Dcmbr Song says:

        Body snark can go in many directions, jus sayin’

        • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

          For me, what makes her look unappealing in those photos is certainly not that she’s very tall and very slender (those are occupational qualifications for modeling just as they are for the NBA) it’s that she’s making the same “I just stepped in dog shit and it’s your fault” face in both. Doesn’t make me want to buy the fancy underwears!

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            But I really hope Judy brags about the Coobie campaign to Kim. Because car wash bras and La Perla are on par.

          • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

            There’s slender and there’s concentration camp. That second pic is just scary.

  8. Princess WideStance says:

    Gotta love that Indulge website. They’re asking woo women to stop giiiiiving so much for a change. Put themselves first. Yeah, that ought to be really hard.

    Donkey, why don’t you take a day that’s just for you? Because that would be different from literally every other day of your life.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      You, ordinary person, just do not get it — Donkey must learn how to surrender to being taken care of — that requires a nuanced calibrayshun of flow before nourished healing can be attained, & only the empowered masculine, playing waitstaff for a day at a rented abode, can kindle that nonsexual shizz.

      **Major credit cards accepted

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        Aren’t any of the participants concerned someone would illegally video this event and it end up as advertisements or blackmail material. That rent isn’t going to pay itself after all.

  9. Ruby Two Feet says:

    For only $400,you can come to my house and treat yourself to an assortment of random nail polishes and homemade slime. I’ll provide a couple of snacks and if you would like, you can run through our sprinkler system. If you really want to tickle your fancy, you can even cut the grass!!!
    JFC. Nope.

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Running through your sprinkler system would far preferable to listening to all that woospeak and being fed by Ariel White’s creepy piece. ::shudder::

      • Ruby Two Feet says:

        Even better than having the male specialist whisper poetry in your ear?
        Honestly, nothing sends a louder red alert to my personal space invasion neurons more than some patchouli/BO smelling male specialist idiot whispering poetry in my ear.

        • Tingolayo says:

          Shirtless. You forgot shirtless.

        • Stalker is the New dancing among the tech equipment says:

          Fucking poetry. Why does it have to be poetry? Can’t I get some hot steamy stock tips whispered in my ear? Some salacious celebrity gossip? Maybe some welcome political news.

          If it must be poetry I choose “Fox in Socks” at max speed.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            Can’t I get some steamy stock tips whispered in my ear? D.e.a.d

          • Helena (Surprise Ironic Dracula) says:

            Real live guffaw occurs at desk-erranding place.

            (Sorry about the delay in email, I’ll get back to you soon! mwah)

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        What, was Albino Lizard Man busy that day?

        I feel like this event should be outlawed under the Geneva Convention. I would personally prefer waterboarding.

  10. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    RE: Noodles death grip on that 15 minutes of fame:
    (seen four days ago; didn’t seem worth mentioning)

    Even a criminal justice blog saw fit to lampoon her goofiness — this comment was gold: ‘Strangely I’m not confident that “feel(ing) for his yes” is a great way to end rape culture when feeling for a yes is a great way to be accused of rape today.’

    • Worrisome Pelts Needs Subtitles says:

      I terror-guffawed at this. The blogger isn’t incorrect. (Claiming to “feel for a yes” also sounds like a classic *excuse* for assault. “Oh, sorry. Your no felt like a yes to me.”)

  11. Razzmatazz says:

    Dadsers is gonna be a mediator (pretty standard aging attorney stuff, really).

    Nearly four decades of being a Donk-Momsers go-between has probably prepared him well.

    • Stalker is the New dancing among the tech equipment says:

      Wow I’d think twice about hiring someone who can’t put his foot down with his aging brat of a daughter. Those negotiation skills!

  12. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    It’s worthwhile and amusing to look at the event site. I was stunned by how relatively inexpensive (if I read it right and didn’t displace a decimal point) it is (compared to, say, Skankatron’s scams), and it makes me wonder how they can possibly deliver, even to the extent of providing meals (or Nourishment, as Donkey would say) and beverages (even taking into account you are encouraged to supply your own vessel for same.) Also the What Should I Wear in the faq section is intriguing: if you pack less-than-inspiring wardrobe choices, there is some kind of costume bank ready to supplement. That settles it: for $179, I’m IN, on the off-chance that a certain pair of teal mylar chaps may grace my very own raft-ass come July 22.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      P.S: site also has horrifying image of Jen’s denuded “area” on display. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE that they think this is some kind of selling point?!

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        She and her husband are so creepy. They both look like ugly woodland hobbit elves.

    • Stalker is the New dancing among the tech equipment says:

      Girl get it, get it girl! EMBRACE YOUR PLAIZHAIR!

  13. BunnyBingo says:

    WTF: “There will be absolutely no sexual content or behavior.”
    I thought woo’s definition of pleasure was “sexual”.

    More:
    “The attendants will offer an array of non-sexual experiences
    including foot rubs, hair washing, serving delicious refreshments to your specific request, cooling you with scented water and if it’s your jam,
    whispering poetry in your ear. Each man will have a menu of services* he can provide and YOU get to ask yourself: ​”What do I want?” (*but no happy endings)

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      It says something about what I’ve come to expect from The Woos that I was actually impressed that she specified no sexual contact. Finally, a Woo Mama who isn’t looking to be a glorified madam.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        I feel like they’re only saying that as a legal disclaimer. Also, the photos are hilarious. The shirtless dude however get ver the two women having a conversation and participating Ina group hug? Lol.

        • Because, for fucks sake. says:

          I think it’s a legal disclaimer too. At the end of the day, it appears every event these people host is some woo BS fronting for what it really is – a pop up brothel.

          • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

            The masculine presents his menu of services, and guaranteed there is a thinly veiled item that mentions a private room.

    • Handbag Is Not A Toilet Baby says:

      I’d possibly pay $14.72 for a talented interpreter to recite Eliot’s Four Quartets to me, but I’d need the entire poem to be memorized, and get away from my ear.

  14. Dcmbr Song says:

    Of all the scheming, the pay for sisterhood ones seems most insidious, besides the cultural appropriation ones too and the rest of the predatoriness under the guise of faux gorgeous love and light

  15. Helena (Surprise Ironic Dracula) says:

    Let’s not let this go unnoticed: “Emerald Peaceful GreenForest” is a person’s name.

    Lord, I am such a homophobic asshole.

  16. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    People are shits, and people being shitty to Noodles about that piece are shits. Stupid people should be allowed to write vapid public love letters to themselves without responses threatening mayhem.

    That said, I once got a death threat for talking smack about Martin van Buren in a feature on 19th century politics. And this was back when assholes had to go to the trouble of scrawling their bile on a piece of notebook paper and putting it in a filthy envelope and mailing it to the newspaper.

    My brother got his car egged for his perceived bias in covering a school committee meeting in southern Maine.

    For people who are such arrant douchebags on a consistent basis, the woo grifters have awfully thin skins when the douchebaggery is inbound.

    • Stalker is the New dancing among the tech equipment says:

      For people who are so thirsty for fame they have no idea how to handle the public.

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

        That’s why the woos need to hire Mulia Mallison, social media expert!

    • Helena (Surprise Ironic Dracula) says:

      It could be just me (also because I just don’t fully get why people want to be searchable on the internets), but I don’t understand how someone who had their first ever baby four (?) months ago believes they should make their ideas about parenting public. Oh, I know you just want to “share,” but why? (Rhetorical question.) People do lots of things that are more interesting than talking to their firstborn babies without “sharing” these things.

    • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

      “That said, I once got a death threat for talking smack about Martin van Buren…”

      This will never not be funny.

  17. Meh or Feh says:

    FLASHBACK

    http://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/whered-julia-allisons-73-point-checklist-come-from-her-mom

    At around :35 of the video:
    JA: “Do you think I’m going to be 35 and … not married?”
    JA Mom: “You need less control. You need to let go and let people into your life. You need to work on listening skills.”

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

      Sometimes I wonder if she and Rain are secretly married, though I suppose we would find the public record online.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        Oh and miss the opportunity to rub it in CnT’s face? She couldn’t resist making her page public again and planning her ‘royal’ wedding via humble-brag crowd sourcing.

        • Morrocanwear...I love you dance video! says:

          If Rain told her not to brag about it, she would be silent.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            He has no pictures of her published on his ‘business’ page nor does his family seem to have any pictures of her posted after two years of dating. He’s just not that into her.
            I’m sure he’s requested a low profile and she’ll agree while he dangles the carrot in front of the donkey. If she was engaged everyone would know it. Or the girl grift group would post thinly veiled comments around ‘our friend’s upcoming wedding’

          • Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

            Fuck buddy on the DL kinda. Wow, she’s really moved up in the world….again.

        • Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

          Pfft, she’d fuck herself silly at Burning Man with crystal healing dildos that looked like her own face and out whore even herself out for attention than when Bear got married but like, 400 less people would give a flying fuck.

          Her self wedding was a cringefest, actual wedding would be mental.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Glorious gallop down memory lane. I am not one to think that everyone needs to be married, but it is perfectly schadenfreudelicious that Judy has never made it happen, as desperately as she wants it.

      • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

        All the more so since she’s got pinterest boards packed full of engagement photo inspiration and wedding magic. The only thing she’s pinned more is the hundreds of ideas for fauxto shoots of herself.

  18. Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals says:

    OT: Ever humble Ali Shanti wants YOU to help her name the new fuck van. Unfortunately, Emerald Peaceful GreenForest is already taken.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      “A legacy worth leaving?”

      She is always so humble.

      So I guess this was the reason why she was looking for a mortgage broker a few weeks ago. I already feel sorry for the bank.

    • LickedRandisCake says:

      Is her legacy going to be….the van? Does it come with coat ghouls?

      My submissions for van name, which must be painted on the side. Shanti’s Blow and Go. Neely’s Shart and Park. Stinky Pete’s Erection Connection. Ali’s House of Rhinestone and Bone.

      All names will work nicely with that classic 80’s bumper sticker “Gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free” in the window.

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        “Sorry about the ‘no high school diplomas’ thing, kids, but at least your mother left you her smelly plywood fuck van!”

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Camel Tow
        Shills on Wheels
        The Vangina Travelogues

        • Stalker is the New dancing among the tech equipment says:

          I want everyone’s suggestions poorly translated into Chinese and tattooed on my lower back.

    • Tingolayo says:

      My computer screen is vibrating with the stench.

    • World O' Gluten says:

      PLEASE tell me it’s parked down by the river.

    • Stalker is the New dancing among the tech equipment says:

      She’s in her harpy place.

    • Razzmatazz says:

      Ali Foley, motivational speaker, livin’ in a van down by the river.

  19. Dances with Epilepsy says:

    “It’s the not-to-be-missed sacred event to kindle your capacity to receive so that you can go back out into the world and give from a place of surplus.”

    That means either “cash up front,” or “I’ll help you out, but I need a little ‘me’ time first.” Probably both.

  20. ShesJustStupid says:

    GOD, Noodles with the stupid article again.

  21. Afghani DADSTER Friend says:

    I haven’t had time to read the comments above, but what Peter B is doing isn’t that bad of an idea. It’s surprising to me he didn’t do it 10 years ago. Many commercial matters end up in arbitration through AAA (no, not the automotive AAA). In my experience, a 3-arbitrator panel, but it you can also have a single arbitrator handle things. In certain industries, almost everything ends up in arbitration. It’s also arguably better when there are very technical issues involved or when the only issues are regulatory (licensing fees, citing someone else’s data, environmental issues, etc.).

    Peter was likely doing this type of work years (or decades) ago. It’s grown dramatically since the 80s and 90s. The rates are good but not good enough if: a) the other partners at your firm are actually busy with originating new litigation or transactional work, b) your firm has high overhead like well-paid support staff and expensive office space, or c) your firm wants to become more leveraged, i.e. equity partners bringing in enough work to keep at least 3-5 junior associates busy, plus a midlevel and a senior assoc.

    He likely got “the talk” from partnership once the firms merged and they looked at who was worth keeping and who was not. He probably had a “runway” of a year to ease his way out of whatever he was working on, simply as a courtesy for being there so long.

    TL;DR version: Law firms aren’t collegiable like they used to be. If you’re not bringing in new work and driving profits, you don’t last. If you hit targets, those partners make serious money. Kill or be killed.

    • Afghani DADSTER Friend says:

      Also, don’t feel bad for Petey — commercial arbitrations with AAA can often pay $300/hr and I’ve sometimes seen as high as $750/hr. But the engagement parameters often limit the amount of time the arbitrator can charge for certain things (like reading the submissions and writing opinions).

      At this point in Petey’s career, he can look at templates from prior similar work and crank out the work pretty quickly and he seems like the type that would rather read dry legalese than do something interesting with his retirement anyway.

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