Donkey & Her New Species-Appropriate Love

Epic fauxto shoot! Judy transformed! So wholesome, so fresh-faced, so phony!

Amazing indeed, Wendy. No one but you could have made a beau-stealing layabout still living off her father look like Rebecca of Sunnywoo Farm.

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106 Responses to Donkey & Her New Species-Appropriate Love

  1. Tingolayo says:

    “Cherokee the horse” =not her horse, but someone else’s horse

    “At home”=wants people to think she owns a horse

    “In Marin”=Marin is a county; doesn’t want people to know she lives in Novato

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      This. This. This. That horse is on a nearby farm where Donk has done fauxto shoots prior.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      The avoidance of saying Novato tells you all you need to know. Insecure poser. Hasn’t changed one bit.

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        Novato!
        Say it loud, and it’s car horns honking
        Say it soft, and it sounds like a Donking

    • Goodnight, Wangs says:

      Ha- totally. Also the “at home” is her wanting people to think she OWNS HER OWN HOME vs renting a dirty room with a shared bathroom in a communal living flophouse.

  2. My Tribe Doesn't Have an Easy-To-Spell Name So White Girls Never Appropriate us says:

    I would be so peeved if my hair looked like hers does in that top pic, and the photographer didn’t point it out, so that I could use a brush to put it up, and avoid that weird root clumpy look. I wouldn’t care if it was a casual snap, but damn! It would take barely a minute to get rid of the dirty hair look. A photographer should have caught that, especially since she is clearly going for a very clean vibe. The second pic is good, although I question people who have professional photo sessions when they do not have an actual profession.

    • Rhinestone Technology says:

      She needs to take my upcoming Hair Mastermind class!

    • Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

      Actually washing your hair might help but we all know how much she relies on dry shampoo to cover up her nasty ass.

    • KC Baker's Appalling Baby Dance. says:

      I don’t understand what she has against washing the pelts. I wash my hair every day – it looks greasy like hers if I don’t!

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Well, you know what we ways say: dry yet greasy, frizzy yet limp–how DOES she do it?

    • bitchface says:

      haha that’s the first thing I noticed too… then the right side of her face slump

  3. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Is that a cuff burn on her right wrist?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      P.S. Love the fauxto name “Bestiality”, Gilly!

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Bwa ha ha! I always forget RBDers can see the titles I save these photos under!

    • Dcmbr Song says:

      Wow.
      Seems both. Some Fautlxtochopping in top photo.
      Horse has to have a cultural appropriation appropriate name

      • Donkicles says:

        This may be the one and only time I white knight – a horse with a Native-American-type name is actually appropriate, I think. Many breeds of horse in the US were cultivated by various NA tribes and, in fact, the Cherokee were quite prolific horse breeders. (In fact, based on this horse’s color pattern, I would assume it is of a breed propagated by many western tribes.) Naming a horse Cherokee is a great tribute to – and acknowledgement of – the contributions various NA tribes had in making these breeds what they are today.

        …..that said, the woos probably don’t know that.

  4. Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

    Equines in love!

    I am touched, moved and impressed.

  5. Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

    Just popped up in iTunes shuffle. My Martin! My Donkey!

  6. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    Are we to make something of the inclusion of the year “2016”?

  7. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Yet another fauxtoshoot for an imaginary Vanity Fair profile, or is she starring in a movie about Catherine the Great?

  8. Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

    Why do people have photoshoots?

    Just why?

    What a fucking goon.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Cargo culting a career, as usual. It’s always Donkey o’clock somewhere!

    • Epictetus Joke says:

      Usually it’s vanity. This time I assume it’s for a dating profile. How else is she going to get out of Novato?

  9. Rhinestone Technology says:

    I can’t get any photos to load here from my phone, but I just got done looking at Christina M’s Facebook page and it’s truly unbelievable. If I am not mistaken, she launched her glorious career with a business that purported to help you find the most attractive style to bring out your inner beauty. While the slinky, polyester floorlength dresses she favored (and encouraged) were anything but flattering, compared to what she’s doing (and wearing!!!)! now, they were downright elegant. You have to take a look at the group photos and selfies she posts to promote her bring-your-pussy-to-work nonsense… and tell me how anyone could look at that and think to themselves, “This woman has something valuable to teach me!”

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Have you checked out her website? It’s all parts appalling.

      “Wake Up to your TRUE mission…Discover How to Combine ALL Your Passions into a Super Lucrative Career”

      “What if the balance of wealth and power in the world were in the hands of the people who DO care…like the heart-centered healers & artists?”

      “Yes! Christina, I’m ready to make more money in less time when I Find My Ecstatic Brand!”

      Christina’s complete Find Your Ecstatic Brand Homestudy System to bring your gifts together into a cohesive brand, pinpoint your niche, create a signature high-end program, and find a marketing plan you love!

      4 Training Audios + Transcripts so I can listen and learn at my convenience

      BONUS #1: Ecstatic Brand workbooks with detailed, easy-to-follow templates

      BONUS #2: Recording and transcript library

      BONUS #3: “Launch Your Ecstatic Brand with an Ecstatic Marketing Campaign” bonus training call, workbook and transcript

      Your Investment $997

      So for $1000, you get a couple of audio CDs, a couple of workbooks, and Morasshat or some lackey says “You go, girl!” on a phone call.

      She should be behind bars.

      https://christinamorassi.leadpages.co/christinamorassi/

    • patti with a p says:

      Coming out of lurkdom to say Yucky Morassi might as well be Wu-Tang name-generator inspiration. Forgive me if it has been said here before.

  10. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Oh, look, a borrowed horse on someone else’s property. Judy, Judy, Judy. You never stop Alice Adamsing like it’s your job, do you?

  11. Tonyamichaela says:

    This polyamorous video explains so much why the woos make me so uncomfortable!!

    “The kinda guy who’ll neg you at the like continental breakfast buffet” I die.

  12. Rhinestone Technology says:

    A female friend of mine lives in the Bay Area and keeps encountering men on dating sites who are polyamorous. And no, she’s not interested. Is this a Bay Area thing? ( I mentioned it to my 80-year mother who rolled her eyes and said, “And they probably think it’s some new thing,” no doubt flashing back to the 1970s when “Open Marriage” was on the bookshelf in our living room.)

    • Veruca Salt Lick says:

      I’m single in LA and expired by a few years. It’s the same here. When I didn’t return his messages immediately, a polyamorous man (I didn’t realize this) told me that I shouldn’t be online dating if I didn’t have time to message all the time. I thought, what is wrong with your relationship that you have so much time to message strangers and you’re constantly trolling for another relationship?

  13. JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

    Someone is pulling a Miley Cyrus! She can’t even be original in her transformations.

  14. Razzmatazz says:

    “You did it!”

    Took a photograph? It’s like they wanted to one up people who pat themselves on the back for being cord cutters or something.

  15. Julia's Chin Implant says:

    Question for you cat ladies. When is something a mastermind as opposed to just a class taught by someone with knowledge? I’m genuinely curious.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Don’t forget, there’s also a Summit. And a Circle. And a Mistressmind. And a Retreat.

      “someone with knowledge”…. hahahahahahaha. Knowledge is not a requirement for the woos.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      No one who is an expert refers to themselves in that way. It’s the same with class, if you have it, you don’t speak of it, it just comes across. These morons are always about the *image* of trying to be more important than they are.

  16. Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

    This horror show deserves its own post, but we just put up Julie’s fauxtoshoot. Ali Shanti and The Seven Woos of the Apocalpyse. For maximum impact, enlarge the video. I will accept essays on the topic WHAT THE FUCK IS SKANKATRON WEARING?

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      I spy: THE PANTS.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      All. The. Things.

      You see, she’s a graduate of the wear-everything-you-own method of packing for air travel, as taught by Disastermind, Jena La Phlegm.

      Nice hip-check to center frame, BTW — tRump has nothing on this asshole.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      This reboot of The Monkees is just terrible.

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      I can’t believe that all of them people involved in this saw the finished product and said, “Yes, that’s exactly what I had in mind! Facebook that shit, now!” Not one person said, “Hey, guys, this was fun and all, but the video looks like some experimental video crap college kids do when the first get Final Cut. Many of us are adults with children. Do we really want to put this out there?”

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        In the comments they’re patting themselves on the back for this middle school shitshow. Kc Baker calls the “dance party … absolutely epic!”Stacey “Hallelujah Breeder” Morgenstern screams with delight and desire over the “cutie patooties.” Ali Shanti is as cute as chlamydia.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I did not see so much as a single cute patoot.

          I saw a bunch of fucking 50-year olds behaving like the cast of Animal House does the Muppet Show.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      Cults on parade

    • Handbag Is Not A Toilet Baby says:

      Mister Handbag only yesterday encountered the concept of a silent disco, and has been asking me questions about them ever since. I’d show him this video, but I love him and do not want to hurt him.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        Why did I Google that? I remember actual parties where you knew some of the other guests and somebody played a mix cd. Am I old? Why are these kids on my lawn?

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      She’s actually naked.

      The coat ghouls are attacking.

    • G$'s Paddleboat to Hell says:

      I literally flinched watching this full screen. HOw dare u make me see this with my own eyes? If I saw this coming at me IRL i would run SCREAMING.

  17. New Trier HS grad says:

    I think the second picture is pretty!
    It’s real hair, right?
    Not too much makeup!

    Slow learner, but chugging along…10 years now?

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      What’s up with the dress?

      Is she marrying a Mormon?

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        One thing’s for certain: she ain’t marrying dj-with-a-groupie-at-every-smellfest Rain.

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      Her plastic surgery is much less obvious than it had been in years. Congratulations, Wendy!

  18. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    She also put up “serious” pose (I think this is an old one).

    Also, why the horse? Her “business” has never had anything to do with animals, nature, etc. I wonder in 10 years when she looks through all her fauxtos if she’ll ever feel how empty and sad this all looks. I’ve never seen anyone with so many pictures of just themselves. It is the epitome of pathetic.

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10101943477172975&set=ecnf.1402715&type=3&theater

  19. Wonder of wonders says:

    I mean this with nothing untoward JAB, but are these photos part of a high-end prostitution situation? I don’t understand the point.

    • Fuckyo Nonburn says:

      I’m guessing the photographer is trying to get a gig at Marie Claire and he needed some generic pics in that mode.

      • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        How dare you! Wendy K. Yalom is a woo extraordinaire and certainly doesn’t need a gig at Marie Claire!

  20. Not! Random! says:

    Oh Good Greg. Nisha has posted a picture of her baby wearing a tight braided necklace. There’s a reason they call these things “chokers.” And there’s a reason you don’t usually see them on babies.

    • Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Every goddamn photo has been of that kid. Noodles posted a snap of narcissistic loon Kc Baker at Noodles’ latest retreat, but the infant was in the lower corner of the frame because she knew we wouldn’t post it.

      • Morrocanwear with Antlers says:

        Unless her Facebook is locked down, I want to post every damned picture of that kid on the interwebs. It is her responsibility, not ours, to protect his privacy.

  21. Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

    Looks like Jaahass’s “sisters” found suckers willing to fund their trip to Lightning in a Bottle. No idea if Donkey is attending. I looked at footage and fauxtos of Ryan Allis’s recent HIVE “leader” event in SF and didn’t see our burro in anything. Camp Grounded is also in session now. YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER, JULIE!

    “I don wan nobahdy fuckin’ with me in these streets.” Lovely.

    • Razzmatazz says:

      Yeah, between this and the “funny accent” video I’m just ready to say these chicks are straight up racist.

    • Tingolayo says:

      I think Jaahhss and her sister grifters have stupid faces, esp. when they sing. Sorry not sorry. Just got back from a Memorial Day ceremony and I kan’t with these dipshits who constantly congratulate themselves for changing the world while never lifting a finger to do an honest day’s work.

      How does anyone outside their immediate circle of fake hippie friends benefit from anything they do? They probably charge their own friends money to listen their “performances.”

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      One of them is always flat.

    • Fuckyo Nonburn says:

      So “fierce.”

  22. BunnyBingo says:

    Maybe Momsers and Dadsers are trying to marry her off and need some head shots?
    Hope they are paying for an internet scrub with bleach also.

  23. Whatever says:

    All smoke and mirrors reality the Jaaa magic less scammers are just that. They have and will never change the world. You actually have to do something and actually have something to say I have done this…. you can see I produce ….. you can measure what I created….
    more like I am sh** and will be forever more. Bitch I will fu** with all three and wouldn’t know it, you three tone deaf waste of human beings, you are all losers who are broken from the inside; nothing to offer this world but screeching, and lousy quotes this goes for, la fraud, la donkey, noodles and the biggest scammer of them all the hag in Colorado.

  24. Gilly, Real Housewife at Dirt Festivals Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

    Is Noodles Moodley having a crisis of conscience?

    Nisha Moodley
    12 hrs ·

    “I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of “good” vs. “bad” flying around lately, as it pertains to the worlds of coaching, healing, and personal development.

    Coaching isn’t bad.
    Therapy isn’t bad.
    Groups aren’t bad.
    Investing (even significantly) in coaching, therapy, or healing isn’t bad.
    Being a coach, therapist, or healer isn’t bad.
    Adding to your training isn’t bad.
    Not adding to your training isn’t bad.
    Having your own wounds you’re working through isn’t bad.
    Sharing honestly with integrity isn’t bad.
    Being more private isn’t bad.
    Structure isn’t bad.
    Growing quickly isn’t bad.
    Growing slowly isn’t bad.

    There is a time and place when a thing is appropriate, and times when it is not. Only you can feel what is true for you.

    There are coaches, therapists, healers, and teachers who are humble, genuinely caring, embodied, and aligned. There are some who are not quite there. Only you can feel what is true for you.

    Having lists of what is good and bad can be a way of building a wall of fear between us and the world, rather than cultivating a relationship with our bodies and intuition – our inner truth – then trusting ourselves to feel what is for us and what is not. We can trust ourselves more than we think.

    And any teacher, guide, or healer worth their salt will be able to feel and honor that deep truth.

    I would love for us to be less afraid to walk our path and engage with what we feel called to, knowing that we are more resilient (and less fragile) than we often give ourselves credit for, and that every experience we feel TRULY called to is an opportunity to grow and learn.

    It all comes back to connecting with the source of our inner knowing.”

    So it’s the consumer’s fault if he or she signs up for a Jena la Flamme, Christina Morassi, or Nisha Moodley-type scam?

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      So coachers, healers, therapists and “teachers” (she can’t mean real teachers) are completely useless: just do what you feel like and you will be fine.

      OK, Noodles, you may be unto something.

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