Updated: Rain PhuturePhuckPhace Attempts To Grow A Pair

As noted in the previous post’s comments, Tiny&Cute, Rain Phutureprimitive’s ex, just discovered that he and Julia Allison were hooking up when he was still in a relationship with Tiny. The post was deleted but a reader took some screenshots:

This just in:

Will Julie be putting in an appearance, too?

Update: YOO HOO! Donkey finally made a public FB post, once again kissing Bear Kittay’s ass, with 15 minutes of the greatest love the world has ever known. See Randi Zuckerberg, Ryan Allis, Brit Moron, Elizabeth Gilbert, etc., etc.

Is our burro “working” for Sgt. Pepper? Is she “working” for Empact Labs, the woo “media company” that produced this crap?

http://empactlabs.co/

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116 Responses to Updated: Rain PhuturePhuckPhace Attempts To Grow A Pair

  1. My Tribe Doesn't Have an Easy-To-Spell Name So White Girls Never Appropriate us says:

    Good for her! I think women don’t call out asshole men often enough. We internalize their bullshit, take ownership of it, and forget that falling for a manipulative jerk is not our fault. I like this one.

  2. Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

    He is doing this for him, not for her. She should let him keep feeling guilty for what he did.

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      I wonder where Donkey fits in re: Rain’s response. Hmmmmm …

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        Can you imagine how freaked Donkey is that Tiny’n’Cute and Phuturephuckphace are getting together with a counselor (if only for closure?) She’ll probably conceal herself in the counselor’s office coat closet or something. No way will she not involve herself in this “closure” scenario.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          rain

        • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          I see her crouched next to the therapist’s keyhole and maniacally wolfing down chocolate bars.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            We used to play a game of “QUICK, WHO AM I?” (myself & a co-worker) — one day she mouthed the words to me, drops to the floor, then executed a righteous soldier-crawl on elbows to look under our supervisor’s usually-open closed door (re: ofc pet who’d snoop & snitch) — your comment made me flash back on that belly laugh moment — I can just imagine Donk’s scheme juices hissing now! 😉

          • Tingolayo says:

            My coworkers are pretty fucking cool, but yours is a treasure.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina says:

            Didn’t Julia have some “heart to heart” with CL when this all began and CL found out that Rain was listening in on the call?? Or Rain had a call and Julia was listening in? I agree there is no way Julia lets this meeting go forward without somehow controlling it.

            Also agree w below sentiment – CL, you in danger, girl. This can only be self-serving on Julia and Rain’s part. What if Shanti town is produced as the “counselor”??

          • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            Yep, either Rain or Donkey was listening in on a phone call with the cuckolded Caeli. I’m thinking our burro wants to shut Tiny&Cute up and is hoping this rather silly attempt at rapprochement will do the trick. But if Tiny is still obsessing two years later …

  3. Helena (Kismet Shamanatrix, CEO of PriestessSensei Inc.) says:

    Sorry, I don’t understand. This hooded loser (who, judging by the little I know, seems to be pretty far down my list of people with “an unbelievably perfect image”) said somewhere online that he’s been “in relationship” with Our Donk for two years? That’s something new, isn’t it?

    • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

      Maybe she was referring to Donkey? All the selfies and shameless self-promotion?

  4. My Tribe Doesn't Have an Easy-To-Spell Name So White Girls Never Appropriate us says:

    The best part is the multiple call-outs that he only has one set, and plays it over and over again. I can’t stop laughing at that.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      And the mocking of the ridiculous hoods!

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Must be why he’s getting the 9 am slots. Thank you for that, Morroccanwear!

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      It’s delightful. Not just a tweedler, but a hack tweedler. Sic transit gloria Donkey, that she had to engage in such skulduggery to hitch her wagon to this very dim star.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      He sounds as about as creative as donkey, they’re a perfect pair.

  5. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    CWAPhA&TDHRIO

    I sincerely do root for Cute & Tiny, but I don’t imagine she’ll come away from this having garnered the satisfaction she’s anticipating. Hope I’m wrong, for her sake, but it sounds to me like an attempt on his part to start grooming her if he can. He knows he traded all the way down — it’s a lot less likely that he feels bad for C&T & a whole lot likely that he’s just having buyer’s remorse. Or, Brayer’s Remorse, as the case may be.

    Don’t do it, Caeli La! Something stinks in Donkmark …

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      I agree to an extent, if you have to ask for an apology, it’s not an apology. I just like her public shaming of him and the truth about his crappy lack of imagination with sets coming to light. That’s why he’s doing it. He’ll probably ask her to sign an NDA or Donkey will.

    • Tingolayo says:

      I actually got your acronym at first try. We’ll be finishing each other’s sentences next!

  6. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    #ForcedAccountability is a beautiful thing. Are we taking bets on if he attends this therapy session solo? Oh to be a fly on the wall in that waiting room as La Jackass is made to sit outside the session. It’s a slippery slope for old Donkey here. If Tiny and Phuckphace see each other again it’ll stir up the old feelings and will exacerbate every annoying bray of the donkey. Tiny wouldn’t be cheating, he was hers in the first place.
    Tiny should keep publicly shaming him if he cancels the appointment. He owes her.

    • Fell off the rainbow raft says:

      Maybe she goes so far as to get him drunk so he passes out and she hacks into his emails and checks for TandC therapy follow up I’vemissedyou chats?

  7. Morrocanwear with Antlers says:

    I think Caeli needs to spend a little time with her own therapist. That was demonstrably not the worst breakup of all time. She was not injured and is certainly still alive.

    Holding on to it two years later is pathetic.

    • Tingolayo says:

      I’ve always felt that going “no contact” is best– delete phone number, block on social media, block his new phartner, etc. It would be even easier for her now that she’s stopped hanging out with the woo crowd. She needs to figure out how to get closure without involving Choad. Moving on is the best revenge.

      What’s more, he sounds like a toxic cheating asshole, which is an especially compelling reason to have no contact with him.

      It IS hilareballz, though, to think that Donkey’s peaceful Novato love stall is being disrupted by thoughts of her OMG boyfriend’s Tiny & Cute ex.

    • Not! Random! says:

      “Worst breakup” is hyperbole for sure, but I’m going to cut her some slack here. They were more than boyfriend and girlfriend: they were also creative partners and life partners. When he cheated on her and then ghosted her, she was totally uprooted, physically, career-wise, and socially. It’s a huge lesson for a 22 year old to learn, but it’s clear that she did what she had to do to move forward with her own life. It doesn’t surprise me that she still doesn’t have closure, because he refused to give her any. It sounds like she repressed a lot and tried to focus on the positive change that was within her control, but that will only get a person so far.

    • Darling dearest communicates with grace says:

      agreed. caeli, let it go, let it goooooooo

      • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        I don’t have a lot of sympathy here, particularly after sitting through HOLY HELL last night. Caeli is an adult and she didn’t go through”the worst break up of all time” – a phrase best attributed to a 13 year old. As far as I know, there were no kids involved. This isn’t the Holocaust, though the typically woo histrionics apparently work wonders with her fellow woos, many of whom are appalling enablers.

        • Because, for fucks sake. says:

          There is a consistent theme amongst all of these people – they’re all emotionally stunted drama queens. Going to therapy with a boyfriend who broke up with you two years ago, with no intent to get back together, is something only a quack therapist would entertain.

          However, it does sound like he asked her to go since she says “He’s lucky that I’m willing to show up and even consider accepting his apologies at this point.”

          • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

            Mark my words: Donkey had something to do with this out of the blue offer, and I’m guessing they’re trying to shut her up.

          • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

            Yes, no doubt the Donkey is behind all this.

            Of course, she is going this to use this to show their “community” what a wonderful person she is and what deranged needy person T’n’C is.

            “We did a therapy session with her?? See how magnanimous we are? What else could she ask for?”

          • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

            With Judy’s luck, they’ll bury the phatchet…go out to a bar afterwards…and then pfuck

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Okay, I missed that last part before, or it just didn’t compute, but now I see it for what it is — what it is, C&T, is: it’s all kinds of Filek’d up — the phuckwit’s trying to get you to go along for the ride to his pity party themed: “I’m Not Happy & It’s All Your Fault”.

            Probably wants to stay w/ you while in town for shows so that a fight erupts w/ Donk, then he’ll ditch her deflated raftass.

            Their announcement triggered you, fair enough; don’t let him seize an opportunity to manipulate ya –the only guarantee there is that an old scab gets ripped off & you’re stuck w/ the festering wound. Again.

            Don’t do it, Caeli La! 🙂 Srsly, though.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            I agree someone is dotting i’s and crossing t’s. Maybe the parasites are going to slither down the dusty dirty aisle.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      Well, the worst breakup of all time in HER life.

      She is very young, he is not, and he is also a manipulative faker at every level, from his music to his relationships, throw Despicable Donkey in the mix, and I can’t help to feel some sympathy for T’n’C.

      Having said that, I would stay away from any connection with the gruesome twosome.

      Donkey will somehow find her way into that “therapy” session (ironic quotes because woo healers are not real therapists), whether it’s in person, or over the phone, or Skype, or whatever and, all of a sudden, it is going to turn into a ME ME MEEEEEEE-fest and she will play victim and serve T’n’C a bunch of backhanded attacks.

      T’n’C should cut her losses and cut these two smelly losers from her life and thank Greg that she got away and she is much younger than them and has many decades to make up for lost time.

      Once a cheating Donkeyphucking scum, always a cheating Donkeyphucking scum.

  8. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Can I just reiterate how I love original Bottom Picture? What a stupid ass (with a stupid ass.)

  9. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    If there’s anything funny in all this, it’s that Dwayne thinks he’s going to become rich and famous making beeps and boops at dirt festivals. There’s something about him that make me picture an adolescent with Star Wars posters all over his bedroom.

  10. BunnyBingo says:

    So Julia has waited two years to get acknowledgement on Facebook? Imagine what kinds of tantrums she had to throw to finally wear him down into accepting that.

    So Rain has to be using Julia for her money or connections or something right…

  11. Stalker is the New integrity-full mood face says:

    CL you in danger girl! Don’t go! He’s not going to make you feel better, it’s just going to make you feel worse. LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Where is this therapy taking place? Does he have a gig in Denver?

      • Stalker is the New Emperor of Nachos says:

        Also we’ve been around long enough to know that Julia’s “Let’s meet! You’ll love me!” is just a wormy excuse to attempt to manipulate someone.

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      100% percent agree with you, Stalker! Somehow it’s going to turn more distressing and “Julia Allison” will get wedged into the conversation (either by name or by her actual face) and that’s just plain unpleasant.

  12. Who do you think you are? says:

    Parking this link here as it reads eerily like many an observation we’ve made here over the years re: Donkey.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2017/05/16/i-wrote-the-art-of-the-deal-with-trump-his-self-sabotage-is-rooted-in-his-past/

  13. ShesJustStupid says:

    Donks posted publicly yesterday. She shared some shill about Mr. And Mrs. Bear’s timeless love. Also, that relationship status only shows up in her page, not Rain’s. So she made it public, but he kept it private? How does that work?

    • Energy Pussy (brought to you by BIG TAMPON) says:

      I only watched 2 minutes of that video, and my only thought was, man, it must be nice to be stupid and rich.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        That’s about how far I made it. It’s, like, 15 minutes long! Self indulgence off the charts.

        • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          WHO THE FUCK COULD SIT THROUGH THIS RIDICULOUS EGO TRIP, OTHER THAN BEAR, KITTY, AND THE FOLKS WHO SPAWNED THEM?! And comparing their love to the birth of time? I didn’t make it past two minutes, either.

          Fucking insufferable.

          • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

            Too stupid; didn’t watch. Looking forward to the divorce vid tho

        • Tone-deaf and beautiful MEMEME says:

          I watched the whole thing. Sure must be nice to be pretty, rich and white.

  14. Fuckyo Nonburn says:

    I knew these people were effed up, and extraordinarily, once-in-a-lifetime in love with the smell of their own farts, but I never knew they were “go to couples counseling with my year-plus long ex” effed up, and extraordinarily, once-in-a-lifetime in love with the smell of their own farts.

  15. burro butt says:

    Noooo, don’t do it gal!!!! It’s a trap!

    Not sure if TnC still reads here but just in case: Manipulative people manipulate. I have a manipulative family member and sometimes I soften up to let them back in to explain their ill treatment of me in the past. But each time I do I get burned each and every time. And each time it hurts a little worse than the time before. It’s a normal human thing to want some acknowledgement that they hurt you and that they’re sorry. But these are not normal, self-aware people we are dealing with here. They are never truly sorry even if they tell say it. That would mean they would have to take accountability, something I just don’t think these people are capable of. You’ve made it two years, that’s an accomplishment. My advice keep living well as far away as you can from this asshole and his sociopathic donkey.

  16. Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

    OT: The sky was falling on Chicken Little, until it wasn’t. Thanks, Boulder!

    Ali Shanti updated her profile picture.

    Yesterday at 09:33 ·

    I woke up this morning a little lost, confused and stuck in the sadness of life.

    I picked up my phone and saw the headlines of the emails from the financial fear mongers I let into my inbox (don’t ask) and I even bought a sky is falling, better buy gold book from one of them.

    I just felt worse.

    Then, I remembered it was Daybreaker this morning.

    And while part of me wanted to revel in my sorrow, a bigger part got me moving and out of the house.

    Just like that, my day turned around.

    I remember.

    I remember who I am, what I’m doing, and why I don’t need to be afraid.

    The best investment isn’t fear or even gold.

    It’s community, connection (to self, other and the planet), creativity and resourcefulness in the face of any crisis.

    From this place and connected to my breath and body, all is always well.

    Grateful for the reminder.

    Thank you Boulder community.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Ali’s cheeks = Bottom picture

    • Meh or Feh says:

      “I remember who I am, what I’m doing, and why I don’t need to be afraid.”

      Who ARE you? What ARE you doing?

      I thought the best investment was the money map.

    • Tone-deaf and beautiful MEMEME says:

      Man she looks rough.

      • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        No sunscreen and 50 miles of bad road. The old raunch just sent out two interminable emails through her listserv.

        “Yesterday I wrote to you that I would be sharing with you about where I’ve been and how I’ve learned to make choices about how best to use my time, energy, attention and money (TEAM) resources in support of a life worth living.

        So, here we go…

        Now, the first thing for you to know is that I am far from perfect.

        I’m sure you already knew that.”

        Oh yeah, SK3B. Blah, blah, blah.

    • Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

      When vile GRIFTER types get swindled. LULZ FOR DAYS

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I am glad to know that the best investment is not fear. Or gold. Or sunscreen, evidently.

  17. Purple OMG Rain says:

    Rain would have had to accept the relationship status on his end in order for his name to appear there on her page however if you go look at his page he does not show any relationship status. So even in his acknowledgment of her, he is still not really acknowledging her. She is prob the one who asked for this and she is the one who probably added the date. He would not have thought of it and she was definitely, certainly aware of what that date would reveal. This was 100% by design.

    Meanwhile, how can anyone stay in a relationship with someone for almost two years who never, EVER mentions them, shares photos of the two of them together, never publicly engages, seldom even likes a post, and flirts more with Morganstern than you? Pull some self-respect out of that lard ass you absolute twit. So embarrassing. Pathetic. I can’t stand these morons.

  18. Princess WideStance says:

    Man, that Kittay video was silly. But what’s funny is, the thing Julia Allison wants most in this world is to have a man she can parade around and make stupid videos like this.

    She doesn’t even want the love – just the videos.

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      And the money. Never forget the money. She’d kill to be Kitty, traipsing about 38 countries and being worshipped by people of color. THAT was the lone moment in the vid that gave me pause.

      • Fell off the rainbow raft says:

        Can you imagine all of the late to airport photos we would have witnessed?

        • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

          Oh, yes, followed by pictures of the Donkey splayed on the airport carpet with poor Lilly in a box.

          FREE LILLY!!!!

    • Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

      She is the most shameless famewhore in the universe. I’m surprised she didn’t try to worm her way into some crappy VH1 z list celebrity dating show even as a not even a have been.

      She’s so dumb she will try to steal a man instead of being a not so shitty person and getting her own person. Being a fake ass whore is the only way for her to get the kind of attention she wants…also fuck her and her rah rah faux feminism, she gets off on fucking other women over for a win. She truly is a remorseless pig.

      • Tingolayo's Polyester Wedgie says:

        Love Connection in making a return, hosted by none other than Andy Cohen. Maybe Donk will dump Dwayne.

        • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          But Cohen loathed Donkey, just loathed her, and Mess Despised was one of Bravo’s lowest-rated shows ever.

          • Tingolayo's Polyester Wedgie says:

            Dammit, why does she ALWAYS ruin everything for me? I didn’t get a Derpin wedding, I didn’t get OMG BOOK… she’s even half-assing the ridiculous Reimagine Faux-tory website.

          • WTActualF Bunnies says:

            Fios just re-did their OnDemand and you have access to like ALLLLLLL the Bravo shows for free but there’s nothing under MessAdvised.

  19. Tingolayo's Polyester Wedgie says:

    “Till” isn’t a word in the way they think it is.

    #EPIC

  20. Never Ever Breaking up with slimeball DJs or getting a job says:

    People actually latch on to Bear Kittay? Are you all fucking for real? Christ, the dumbs are painful.

  21. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    The Kittays’ “Keeping Up With The Woodashians’’ video is hilarious.

  22. melting marionette says:

    i doubt very much that JA is working for empact as this would actually mean having to do some work, and creatively she can bring nothing to the table.

    also: empact website: not the smartest idea putting biometric information (fingerprint) on each of the core team / “industry expert’s” profile pic. steal that puppy, can’t reset it.

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      I think she’s doing piecemeal work here and there, a few things for Ryan Allis, none of it very demanding.

  23. Rhinestone Technology says:

    I’m not a FB friend of Donk and when I go to her page, I can’t see any photos or posts or relationship status – other than the fire pic. And I looked at the Kittay’s pages and can’t see the video. Wahhh! I wanna seeeeee.

  24. Rhinestone Technology says:

    I found the video on someone else’s FB page, but thank you for posting it here. Do these people ever work? My guy and I can’t even afford a local vacation this summer, and we are both employed and old. How did these young adults afford to travel to a zillion countries in several years???

  25. Fell off the rainbow raft says:

    Ahahahahaha. Always a donkey.

  26. Goodnight, Wangs says:

    She should build a bridge and get over it. It’s been two years. Yeah, he was a stupid cheating asshole. But stop harping on it and move on already. Meeting him for a therapy session?????

    • Goodnight, Wangs says:

      Also, she has a ton of photos of her and Rain kissing and smiling still up on her facebook page. She’s clearly still in love with him. Sad.

      • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Doesn’t he also have some snaps of Caeli up on his public “music” page? He’s NEVER posted a single snap of Donkey.

  27. It floats! says:

    Ah, Caeli. “When someone shows you who they truly are, believe them the first one.”

  28. Ethel-egg says:

    ANYWAY! Back to us New Zealanders.

    We have a desperate need to be told how friendly we are and how fab our country is. Any feedback from the amaze! (obviously) tour that Julia Allison took through our land?

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I will be pleased to assist you.

      Hello Everybunnies! It is me, Rollsshucksherclam. I know it had bean a long time since we toked but that is because I have been down in beautiful New Sealand, Austrialla! I went there with Uncle Marv, Mom’s wired brother who is always telling mom and also my dad to that economee is going to crap and that they should buy gould and also a place in Snew Zeeland because when the shit hits the fan the black man is going after honkey with a hockey stick whatever that meens. Anyway he said he was buying, like, a million acres of something in New Zeland and did I want to go and I saud yes because I think little hobbits are just so cute and I really wanted to see a giant hopping mouse thing whatever they are called.

      So we went down to Great Aucklanding which is like if LA fell over a little bit and then stopped a hour before it usually does and then we were int he cunrtyside which was very green and pretty and full of sheep. Plus there were trees and very pretty moutains after a while (a short while) so it was like if the Rockies kind of sneeked over from Rocky land and were more close to where the big coffee shop for the truck drivers right outside of Encito is. Uncle Marv kept on rolling joints and saying do you want a toke and I kept saying yes and then he said do you want to take your top off and I said no. We druve a long time and then we were in Wellington which is the capitol of Hawaii and it is mostly made out of shipping containers. No hopping mouse animals anywhere but there was a really big spider in my shoe that morning. Not as big as the ones that grabbed the hobbit but still bigger than I wanted it to be.

      Later, once I had smacked Uncle Marv some times, he stopped fiddling with my halter and then we saw the place he was going to buy. It is really beautoful with a view of the water and also of the sky if you look up. Marv said that lots of really rich tech bros and libertarians and alt right billion hares are buying up this part fo the world to hide when the rest of the world decides they need to have their balls kicked off which probably means lots of loud parties from the nayhboirs (when they move here, not the balls-kicking).

      Then we went on to Christchurch which had an earthquake back a while ago and used to be cute. Now it is mostly in little piles. But the coffee was good and everone was nice (regular height, though). I kept looking for the giant hopping mice and everyone said they were in Austria and then some smart ass said that there was a bridge. Ha! A bridge to Austria, what dumbass does he think I am I know you can’t drive from Christcursed to Long Island, Brazil is in teh way

  29. Rhinestone Technology says:

    I want to invite all the woos to a big weekend festival/event… and when they arrive, tell them there are no photos allowed for the entire weekend and they have to leave their cell phones in a locker for the duration.

    #masshysteria
    #existentialcrisis

  30. Rhinestone Technology says:

    Also, no mirrors. Or feathers.

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