Green Card Blues: Deadbeat Dad Is Off To Switzerland While Jena la Fraud Cruises Mexican Beaches

Six months, eh, Jena? Didn’t the INS appreciate your deadbeat husband’s cacao ceremonies?

Tell us more, Jena! No multiple o’s? Did the new roomie help out with the sensual oils? If you don’t post it to social media, it never happened.

Geez, Jena, isn’t Sacha in his antlers hotter than some stranger in a g-string?

Who’s paying for all of the leisure, Fivehead? Patricia Ellsberg? Any cold hard cash you might have netted from Insurance Scamming 101?

#pleasurableSTD
#shoulderpainisnothappening

Bottom Picture: That Harpo Marx always leaves me in stitches, and he’s so VERY GOOD LOOKING!

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87 Responses to Green Card Blues: Deadbeat Dad Is Off To Switzerland While Jena la Fraud Cruises Mexican Beaches

  1. melting marionette says:

    pic 1 hair loss seems worse

    #pleasurablefivehead
    #somethingisfallingout

    • melting marionette says:

      jfaing to say – doesn’t she mean “sayulita”?

      or did the san andreas finally split and a piece of northern california lodged itself on part of mexico’s pacific coast?

    • Dcmbr Song says:

      Oh, she looks good natural, not with the absurd caked on makeup and sausage dress and that one ankhish cleoptary “medallion” she always wears, but that five spot might be where some of her brain had to be removed. #dim

  2. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    Oh, Sasha! We hardly knew ye!

    We’ll save the blue antlers in RBD’s vault until your return.

    You can take your overgrown bush with you, thankyouverymuch.

  3. Rhinestone Technology says:

    So the Antlered One is jetting home to see his offspring for 6 weeks… at least he’s going alone. (And less than 24 hours later, Mrs. Antler is already drooling over the board-straddling yoni of some “California Babe.” ) Looks like the poetess is in her way to Mexico to get certified as a tantra teacher. And that can only mean one thing: More sex! More photos! More videos! More tax-deductible pleasure! More shilling! (Okay that’s 5 but it’s all related.) I have to say I much prefer her channel to the Julia show…

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      We don’t know if Swiss Mister is seeing his kids for six weeks. Jena said they would be reuniting in six weeks, but that doesn’t mean Sacha will be in the alps the entire time. Besides, the kids are quite young, I believe, and I assume they’ve forgotten their deadbeat father after six months.

      Re: Julia, it’s a little difficult to post regularly about someone when they’ve gone AWOL, but the site is called Reblogging Donk and she always has pride of place.

  4. Stalker is the New integrity-full mood face says:

    Objectifying women is still gross when it comes from a woman, Jenna. I hope that babe ditched you quickfast.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat Whores says:

      LaFraud is gross.

      There aren’t enough NAAAAAAAACHOSSSSSSSSSS in the world…

      • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

        Call the roller of terrible beats,
        The shirtless hooded one, and bid him whip
        In communal kitchens concupiscent sweet potato turds.
        Let Ali Shanti dawdle in such coat ghouls
        As she is used to wear, and let the boys she’s fucking
        Bring flowers in last month’s get-rich-quick scams.
        Let be be finale of Robin’s weird gazpacho.
        The only emperor is the emperor of nachos.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      She can’t be alone even for a minute; and, she can’t afford to live alone so it makes perfect sense to travel instead.

  5. Razzmatazz says:

    Yep, sexy stranger makes a move on sexy sexy Jena. How long until her other go-to anecdotal social interaction makes an appearance? Will the soulful, wise (magical?) black or brown person who wants to comment on how soulful, wise and magical Jena is please stand up?

  6. Dcmbr Song says:

    Someone I share a bed with leaving for 6 weeks or even less. Imma be up to see them off before they go to the airport no matter what time, and I have a morning J o b .

  7. Meh or Feh says:

    OT BUT MR. JACOBS SHAVED HIS BEARD THAT IS ALL

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Thanks, pretty dancer lady, I had just stopped laughing from the Eurovision and now I am giggling yet again.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        I will forever be reminded that if he’ll cheat with you, it’s only a matter of time he’ll cheat on you. Happy Anniversary to the parasitic, undynamic duo.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I don’t see a relationship status on Rain’s fb. So she saw this because Donks tagged him in her own status? Lord.

      • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Looks like Rain has scrubbed his public posts as well. Did Peter Baugher give him an ultimatum?

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      This post has disappeared, but Cake Liar may have a screenshot. If so, I will share here.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        What was the gist of it? Is that Cute & Tiny? Disputing the time frame?

        • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

          Yes.

          I read the whole thing yesterday.

          She says that the Donkeyphucker updated his relationship status, going back to two years, and that she now realizes there was an overlap of several months and that her “community” must have known about it but never said a word to her.

          She is soured on the whole Northern California woo scene and said that she is glad she has moved on and gotten away from those smelly losers.

          The post has now been removed or, at least, it has been made private.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            There were also several comments about how Rain was a shitty DJ who plays the same set constantly.

          • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

            Yes!!

            And someone also made fun of his shirtlessness.

            #incognitocatlady?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            May, huh? Sure thought it was March …

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina says:

        When your ex announces on Facebook that he’s been in a relationship for 2 years, and gives the exact date of their anniversary; somehow not realizing or remembering that he lied to you about when they got together… they both pretended to me that they hadn’t started dating until several months later. PSA: DO NOT date anyone who primarily cares about the money/fame/status game, because they probably don’t care very much about being an authentic good person. That was the most valuable lesson I learned from our breakup. I could be angry, but instead, I’ll take it as an affirmation that he really is that selfish; forgive myself for falling for the bullshit; and rejoice in the fact that I am far away from him now, and from everyone who called themselves our “community” who withheld it from me, who chose not to acknowledge the reality of what he was doing because they were so excited about his fame game, they didn’t want to risk damaging their friendship with him. I never understood why people called NorCal culture fake/superficial until I had this experience with him and that community. I’m so, so glad that I got out of that relationship and that camp. Counting my blessings today.
        Also a v valuable lesson learned: when someone appears to have an unbelievably perfect image all the time, be cautious. The most ‘perfect’ people can be the scariest and most unpredictable, because of what’s being repressed. The more someone actively deals with their own darkness, the more trustable they become.

        • Not! Random! says:

          That sucks. The dishonesty, in particular. These are two grown-ass mature adults and they should have owned their behavior from the start. It’s really pathetic the way they handled this.

          The irony, of course, is that you seem to have moved onto a much greater stage professionally over the last two years. But he’s still mucking around at the same mid-level fest. Those who have been watching the Julia show for years know: anyone who couples with her in the expectation of fame and fortune has ended up sorely disappointed. She’s the Road to Novato, nothing more.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina says:

            To clarify, the above is a copy/paste of what TnC wrote on her fb post folks apparently can’t see any longer. For some reason I still can — it’s still up. As are the comments along the lines of Rain being a shit DJ who does the same set each time he performs / doesn’t wear a shirt / etc.

          • Stalker is the New integrity-full mood face says:

            can you c’n’p the comments?

            Good for Tiny and cute. I’m glad she learned that lesson. It must have been painful but it will serve her well.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina says:

            There are over 50 comments, and the “put a shirt on, no one wants to see that” has several replies ending up in a discussion of male privilege (men can take their tops off at ecstatic dance; women cannot)… here is one of the crap DJ threads:

            Girl, I quit going to his shows bc I realized how much of an asshole he truly is. His music healed my soul, but he plays the exact same set at every show. Played the same set at bm both times i saw him play and when I went to say hi and gift him some items i had made, I got the cold shoulder. When they say “don’t meet your hero bc you’ll be disappointed”, they’re so right. :/

            I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. You were a beaming light when I met you. <3 happy to see you standing strong!

            Every. Single. Set. SAME. Same songs, same black sleeveless hoodie, same baseball cap….. how the heck does he keep even getting booked?!?

            Same end of set speech……

            Caeli La it is a great, unfathomable mystery. Imagine if I was still dancing to the same exact set?… I'd be creatively dead inside

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            No wonder he’s phucking perfect for Donk! SHE is also creatively dead & HE is sartorially-challenged.

            #suckcess

          • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            Thanks, Psycho, for sharing Tiny&Cute’s post and some of the comments. I didn’t see this at all and the post was gone by the time I’d received a tip in my email.

            So, he’s as creatively bankrupt as she is? BWA HA HA! Rain doesn’t seem particularly well read or well educated. Nutty Granny Moneybags should have sent a balding, middle-aged DJ the first time around.

          • Stalker is the New integrity-full mood face says:

            It’s ludicrous… WHAT FAME?????????? Julia Allison is only famous TO US… and she’s not even around any more. Gilly works her magic and keeps the site going with zero help from her. Are they expecting her to become Queen of All the Orgies? Once-and-Phuture Zero is never going to be the next Steve Aoki.

        • Fameless Shamewhore says:

          “…everyone who called themselves our “community” who withheld it from me, who chose not to acknowledge the reality of what he was doing because they were so excited about his fame game…”

          That is appalling, not least because – famous??? Hahahahaha. He wishes.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            Does either one really think they’re successful in or out of that ‘community’? Nothing sadder than a 50 year-old has-been except maybe the one in a ‘relationship’ with that never-was.

            They’re cycloning the drain.

          • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            Playing third-tier at smellfests that are attended by the same few thousand folks does not constitute “fame.”

            If Rain really thought hooking up with a busted-down burro for her “connections” would turn him into a superstar, he’s dumber than Donkey.

            THIS IS SUCCESS!!

        • Morrocanwear with Antlers says:

          I have shared this before, but it is worth sharing again. One of my children is successful in a different field but makes a little money (and mostly has a lot of fun) writing beats and, as a result, goes to a lot of musical events. He has attended a ton of festivals with his friends. A couple of years ago I said something about Rain to him and he nearly fainted that I had ever heard of him. He said he had gone to a terrible festival while he was in college and Rain played at 9AM.

          He said it was the worst music he had ever heard.

          • Handbag Is Not A Toilet Baby says:

            NINE AM? That amuses me so much, for some reason.

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            “I told them a hundred times to put Phutureprimitive first and Puppet Show last!”

  8. Kenneth Ellen Parcell's Donkey Fits says:

    why have i seen the pube stubble of this woman

    i wish i had not

    can’t delete from brain. please send bleach

  9. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    OT: Thanks to the cat ladies who suggested Nick Bilton’s new book, American Kingpin. Just finished it. The writing itself is not brilliant imo but his research was incredible and the story is extraordinary so it was a really entertaining read.

  10. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    LOL. Listening to Sen. Sasse discuss his BOOK: The Vanishing American Adult

    Wondering if Donk’s hooves are burning …

  11. Purple OMG Rain says:

    This just in:

    Caeli La
    56 mins ·

    hey y’all, I just wanna say that for the last two years, I’ve been terrified of sharing anything about the Worst Breakup of All Time or anything that might even hint at what I was going through. I’ll spare you the details (for now), but trust me when I say that the level of lies, betrayal, ghosting, deception and manipulation has been literally almost unbelievable.

    So, when something happened the other day that felt like the absolute last straw, I finally snapped and posted about it. I sent my post to my ex and his partner. I was pretty scared of the blowback it would bring on. But you guys… IT WORKED. I spoke my truth and it finally fucking worked. He is now, for the first time, fully taking responsibility and apologizing. We are going to meet with a counselor next month so he can properly acknowledge and apologize for everything in person. This is nothing short of a miracle. And I do believe it’s because I finally held him publicly accountable. Lesson learned, don’t be afraid to speak out and stand up for yourself. It worked!

  12. Tingolayo's Polyester Wedgie says:

    OK, I need to ask, because I can’t figure it out on my own: when DJ Deadbeat Dad clenches his teeth and juts out his lower lip, is he trying to smile or is it something else?

  13. Rhinestone Technology says:

    Jena’s latest post on Facebook declares “the world has gone stark raving mad and as a result, women’s lights are dim.” I don’t know where she’s been the past hundred or so days, but seems to me women are on fire lately. ( Ah, but acknowledging that doesn’t sell books, does it?) l

    ~ HOW TO WAKE UP YOUR FEMININE GENIUS ~

    You know as much as I do, that the world has gone totally stark raving mad, and as a result women’s lights are dim.

    We war with our bodies, minds, hearts, souls, and precious selves.

    To end this battle, we need to unlock what my friend and colleague LiYana Silver, calls our Feminine Genius.

    She describes Feminine Genius as a life-force energy that is equal parts intuitive, divine, sexual, and somatic.

    As with a candle flame, Feminine Genius is the LIGHT, and also the woman who is LIT. What a powerful definition!

    To enlighten the world with her brilliant ideas, she’s written a book called, Feminine Genius: The Provocative Path to Waking Up and Turning On the Wisdom of Being a Woman.

    http://bit.ly/2qGgeRQ

    The book is about reintroducing you to your Feminine Genius so you can stop your war, enjoy your life, and help to light and lead our world.

    I had the privilege of reading a preview copy and without exaggeration it’s one of the most impactful books I’ve ever read.

    Feminine Genius comes out with Sounds True (the same publisher as my book Pleasurable Weight Loss) on June 1. If you pre-order it before, then you’ll get access to an exclusive webinar and a potent interview series called “Hello, Glass Ceiling, Meet Feminine Genius.” Included are change-makers Dr. Christiane Northrup, Sheila Kelley, Amanda Steinberg, Regena Thomashauer (aka Mama Gena), Sera Beak, Chantal Pierrat, and me.

    Our female bodies, our desire, and our sensuality, are areas that women are notoriously afraid of, ashamed of, and at war with, but are paradoxically pathways to our power. This book is a flaming torch guiding women down this path so that we all may dance together in the light of our collective glow.

    Learn more about this amazing book here and how to access the pre-order bonuses that go away on June 1 : http://bit.ly/2qGgeRQ

    I’ve known and loved LiYana for 15 years and I’m so incredibly proud of her evolution and how she’s synthesized it into this book. I can’t recommend this book enough, so take a stroll down this provocative path and see for yourself what the buzz is about.

    With love,
    Jena la Flamme

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