A Miracle In Boulder

Congratulations on paying your own bills, Fozzie! Maybe the much older Julia Allison will follow suit?

Oh dear, the more things change, the more things stay …

In other Boulder news, Skankatron has been shilling this loon’s upcoming emBODYment:

The trailer is nearly as funny as Kc Baker’s self-love commercial. Karen Finley has nothing to worry about:

Bottom Picture! Jena & Sacha hooked up with a blonde during a recent masquerade ball. The pleasure never ends when the kids are back in Switzerland, eh, Deadbeat?

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79 Responses to A Miracle In Boulder

  1. melting marionette says:

    she should learn to close her mouth. flies might get in.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      My mother used to tell my sister that her mouth would freeze in that pose if keeping it open for too long, and I fear that’s just what’s happened to Goddess Issy.

    • Fuckyo Nonburn says:

      Or out.

  2. Lulularouse says:

    Gawd, what are these people going to do if they/when they grow up and can’t get these photos off the Internet? I’m just glad there was no social media when I was going through my phases. Although those phases ended around 13 or 14 years old so…

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      Honestly, most of the people are no where near young enough to write their behavior off as a youthful phase.

  3. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

    I guess we have to take accomplishments when/where we get them from this crowd. #PayingMyOwnBillsSinceIWas17LikeMostAdults

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      #pleasurableresponsibility
      #somethingtraditionalishappening

    • Stalker is the New Ringling Brothers Pigeon says:

      How dare you, he’s the future GOAT. Chance the Rapper got nothing on ol’Fozzie Fozz.

  4. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Anyone here remember when the most annoying person Julia knew was Emily Gould?

    Neither do I.

  5. New Trier HS grad says:

    Do you think Fozzie got a small loan of $10,000 to pay his billls and be independent??

  6. Subtle Tweets says:

    OT: Former Donkey pal Leven Rambin divorces husband of 2 years. From the timing of their relationship, looks like her soon to be ex dumped his wife at the time for Leven. Strange how karma works like that.

    https://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/Leven-Rambin-Jim-Parrack-File-Divorce-2017-43290538

  7. Razzmatazz says:

    PIMP LION UP IN THIS BITCH PAYIN HIS FUCKIN GAS BILL YO

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Our little Fozzie is all growed up :’D

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      And it answers why Ali was with him, his parents were *funding* him and in turn her. And no parental funding does not make you a founder of anything.

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

        Exactly! And to think he gave a talk with Ali on how to raise children.

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          That was utterly laughable, the woos at their insufferable worst. I believe Ali & Fozzie broke up a week or two after their parenting seminar. I LOVE YOU BURGER KING!!

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      Can you imagine? Every single time he pays something it’s gonna be like that.

  8. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Why can’t he buy a hat that fits? Good for him for having a job, though, I guess.

    Now. Let us talk about why Flimme-Flamme is wearing a dirty bathmat over a 9-year-old’s pink hoodie from Justice, because that needs to stop.

  9. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE = monthly SSDI check for mental instability or what? He doesn’t even seem to know WTF is the true meaning of the term, cuz no freaking way is he $olvent & not looking for next month’s hoofout, same as Julia “Fuck You Money” Allison.

    • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

      How dare you? He probably made a fortune selling that spindly little pot plant.

  10. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Woman-ing? Is that a word? Or somehow a pun/joke on manning? But manning also makes no sense in the context of the sentence? Or am I missing something? The woos they do confuse?

  11. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Because the ticket is the only expense to Burning Man. Time off *work* travel expenses etc. How do people live like this and brag about it?

  12. Fuckyo Nonburn says:

    I can’t hate on Fuzzy for getting his shit together a little later than many, but I can hate on “woman-ing.” cwaa.

  13. Stalker is the New Ringling Brothers Pigeon says:

    That video!

    I do yoga, because I’m sexy!
    I’m not Beyonce, because I’m sexy!
    I eat a kumquat, because I’m sexy!
    I just don’t understand the Syria situation, because I’m sexy!
    I’m looking to see if the bus got here yet, because I’m sexy!
    I’m a martyr, because I’m sexy!
    I’m dropping an ice cube into my gin and tonic, because I’m sexy!
    Here’s a baby bird.
    My tummy hurts, because I’m sexy!
    I have the best tummyaches.
    Surprise Ironic Dracula!
    Never mind.
    I want the whole thing.
    Sexy mime writing sexy imaginary grocery lists on my sexy hand.
    FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY WON’T THIS IMAGINARY PEN WORK I HATE THE WORLD.
    Still not Beyonce, tummy pain increasing!

    I watched it with the sound off, that might not be what was really going on.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      “Flirtacious feline with lips fuller than the fullest moon … the wounded, fucked up feminine, that’s what … ” – all this while Nine Inch Nails plays in the background. Do you think Issy secured licensing rights?

      For some yucks check out her eventbrite page. There are reviews galore, from entrepreneurs, lifestyle coaches, and anonymous – no one of any stature, whatsoever.

      “There was life before Isabella’s show. And life after Isabella’s show.” ~ Mary Catherine Shurett, Wellness Coach

      “She saved my life. I remember who I am.” ~Anonymous

      “Raw, deep, real, and vulnerable. I have never in my life seen an entire audience moved in this way. I was left craving more of her. Isabella is a brilliant thinker of our generation and I am certain that through her writing and performance, she will leave a lasting impact on humanity.” – Jolie Dawn, Business Coach

      Sure, just like Jess Johnson is changing the course of history. Jesus, these delusional fucks!

      https://www.eventbrite.com/e/a-pilgrimage-of-embodyment-in-boulder-co-tickets-31867638966?aff=efbnreg

      • Stalker is the New Ringling Brothers Pigeon says:

        Nine Inch Nails? You mean the feminist powerhouse Nine Inch Nails who wants to fuck me like an animal?

      • single white female says:

        why do the dancing woos always, always always always, turn every expression of whatever it is they are expressing into a strip show?

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          Yes, every goddamn thing is sexualized to the nth degree. It’s worrisome!

          • Playa con dios says:

            Even something as mundane as flossing teeth

            Im gonna make a play about checking the oil level in my car wnfine and how it relates to the masculine penetration of the feminine

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            Speaking of, I need to do an update on Dead Russian Hooker #2 and her yoni. She’s gone a bit off the deep end.

          • Playa con dios says:

            Btw, was there ever a drh #1?

          • Not! Random! says:

            No, the joke behind Dead Russian Hooker #2 is that on a show like Law and Order SVU, when actresses get billing in the credits for playing a dead body washed up on the shore, Ariel wouldn’t even be “talented” enough to get top billing as Dead Russian Hooker #1.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            The name was triggered by a photo that Ariel posted of herself washed up on some rocks and looking quite dead, anything but thexthy.

      • Whatever says:

        Jess the mess ,Jenna lafraud goodness they are all changing the world. With model loser boyfriend obviously there is something lazy and wrong with him if he is with Jess the mess. Currently in New Mexico singing even the wind stops to hear her screech.
        Then there is lafraud and her deadbeat husband shirtless aww the completely horror. Noodles talking about privilege, honestly this is all they do yes change makers they are, right sure that’s it’s it. All of them change makers give me a break loser each of them complete useless, lazy leeches.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      If nobody takes the handle Surprise Ironic Dracula, I will lose all faith in the internet.

  14. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    “She saved my life. I remember who I am.” ~Anonymous

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but the suspense is killing me …

  15. Lulu says:

    That video. Are y’all sure it’s not a parody???

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      No, it’s the straight up real deal. The woos aren’t sophisticated enough to do parody … or satire … or irony …

      • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

        And they have no sense of humor whatsoever.

        In Wooworld, nothing is ever about having fun.

        Taking drugs is self-discovery, dancing is self-expression, clit-flicking is meditation, sex is connection and……..

        Sorry for the interruption, I bored myself to sleep writing that.

  16. Lulu says:

    I’m so glad none of these people are relatives of mine or, God forbid, my children.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Re: parenting, I look at everything Ali Shanti does and attempt to do the exact opposite.

  17. Lulu says:

    Interesting that most of the woos never (or rarely) post photos with family of origin.

    • grammarian of happiness says:

      family of oppression, except for the sending of cheques part

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        If Donkey’s miserable parents hadn’t sent her to miserable New Trier, she’d probably hesitate to take another handout.

        #pleasurableguilttrip
        #daddywarbucks

    • Playa con dios says:

      Except for dads dirty dancing with daughters

    • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      Also see: never any candid shots

      • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

        THIS!

        Everything is crudely staged.

        The expression on their faces are ALWAYS either:
        1) Drugged out
        2) Fake smile
        3) Uncomfortable

  18. Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

    Note Isabella:

    Partially capitalizing a word makes sense only if the rest of the word means something.

    Since “em” and “ment” don’t mean sh-t, emBODYment is just plain stupid.

    You are welcome.

  19. Lulularouse says:

    A friend of mine was invited to a Yoni Steaming Circle. I’m not kidding. The price included a Yoni steaming pot and the privilege of being part of this sacred sisterhood thingie. If you couldn’t make it to the event, for about $100 you could get a private session with the facilitator who would show you, one on one, how to steam clean your vagina. Unfortunately, she did not attend so I have no more to report.

    My guy wants to start a Weenie Roasting Circle for men. For $5.00 you get an Oscar Meyer hotdog and a bun.

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