“Creative” Donkey Brainstorms Award-Winning Title For Upcoming Garden Of Eden Smellfest

John “Like Buttah” Buttaz, founder of The Garden of Eden, the monthly woo shitshow in Encinitas, needs your help!

Leave it to creatrix Julia Allison to come up with a solution:

But will Sacred Earth be as exciting as the orgy-friendly smellfest “Unseen?

“Daddy, I’m scared of the loud glitter monster! Can we go home, please?”

Yoo hoo, Devin Stetler! If you’re not too busy dirty dancing with Papa Chevalier’s heterosexual husband …

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94 Responses to “Creative” Donkey Brainstorms Award-Winning Title For Upcoming Garden Of Eden Smellfest

  1. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    I take your “Sacred Earth”, scratch out the “h” and remove the bottom of the “E” and it instantaneously becomes what it truly is meant to be: “Sacred Fart”

  2. Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

    Entitled Earthling Extravaganza:
    We Pretend to Care, so You Don’t Have To

    Ignore Our Carbon Footprint.
    We are Special

    • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      I’m loving the taglines, Lurch! You could be a transformative marketing expert and consultant to the pantheon of woo superstars.

      The best part of Donkey’s contribution is that she simply repeats one of Buttah’s possibilities that he didn’t like. Everyone else actually offers a new possibility.

      #pleasurableidiocy
      #somethingdumbasfuckishappening

      • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

        I wonder which cheap, foreign-made petroleum-based synthetic outfit she’ll choose to wear this year?

        Someone should suggest that every part of their clothing should be made of a natural and sustainable material. Donkey would have to get a whole new wardrobe.

      • Dcmbr Song says:

        Did you not notice, the not one but two exclamation points she herself addendummed

  3. AWO says:

    Earth Stomp
    Oil Transported Us Here
    Make Trash to Care
    Waste Heat
    Global Smarming

  4. Albie Quirky says:

    Spaceship Earth could be a fun party, with other guests.

    • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      We’ll let Rebecca Jean attend – she did come up with the name – but that is an absolute no to Rebecca riding in on her burro.

  5. Helena (The Same Amount of NOT) says:

    How does “Earth” or “Sacred Earth” (which, yes, thanks for your input, Donks!) make it clear that it’s a fun / party event? I know I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said a million times, but the woo definition of terms like “fun” or “party” is really something else.

    • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

      The rule of thumb is just to add the word “Boogaloo” at the end of any of the choices.

  6. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    But Rebecca Jean, what are “reusable foodstuffs”?

    Yuk!

  7. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Was “Getting Trashed While Pretending to Save the Earth,” already used a previous year?

  8. Playa con dios says:

    Playa Planet

  9. Playa con dios says:

    Or Planet Playa

  10. Playa con dios says:

    Or Phrimative Earth

  11. Playa con dios says:

    Tag line: “the place where dead russian hookers come to rest”

    #somethingisfloatingashore

  12. BunnyBingo says:

    Condoms, Glitter and Regret.

    • Morrocanwear Loves You Rain says:

      Smells Like Thirtysomething Spirit
      Ugh, These Same People Again?
      Can I Purchase Some Environmental Credits From You So I Can Drive My SUV To This Event?
      Does My Butt Look Big at a Green Weekend?
      I’m with the Shitty DJ

      • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Smells Like Thirtysomething & Fortysomething Spirit.

        There, fixed that for you!

  13. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Butt-ass? That’s redundant.

  14. Tingolayo says:

    Sacred Polyester

    Recycling Peter Baugher’s Money

    Think Globally: Support the Chinese Economy

    The Loud, Obnoxious Party in a Residential Neighborhood

  15. KashMoney says:

    God, she is so utterly alone

  16. LickedRandisCake says:

    Gunts and Chlamydia.

  17. Sugar daddy in thd taxi cab says:

    ENCINITAS UBER ALLES

  18. Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

    That first picture is just so schadenfreudesque. Look at her with her coy little finger and you just know she asked Beargent Pepper to hold her leg. Wouldn’t be surprised if she asked him to pick her up instead.

    Gotta give Choad some credit, she hasn’t been able to con him into wearing costumes of her choice or forcing him into her favorite photo poses.

    • melting marionette says:

      for him, wearing clothes is hard.

    • Helena (The Same Amount of NOT) says:

      Re: the picture: My take is she tried to get him to pick her up, he refused, and what we see here is a compromise.

      I’m glad you commented on the cringeworthiness of it because it was almost too much for me to say anything. The FINGER, WTF is she DOING with it? The face, the pose, the whole CONCEPT. I need to go lie down.

      • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

        This blue mess is confirmation that Donk is utterly lacking in creativity. IIRC, she was supposed to be an “ice queen.” Give any one of us a few hours and a few bucks and I guarantee we could muster up something that would put this mess to shame. Putting on a child-sized plastic leotard and diving headfirst into a bucket of blue glitter is not the look.

      • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

        I recall some pics from her first Costa Rica trip (Bear was present) where she had him and some other guys pick her up for a picture. It is the one with her suspicious abdominal six pack visible.

        • KC Baker's Appalling Baby Dance. says:

          I remain totally confused/suspicious about her lower half. The apparent insensitivity to tight camel toe-inducing unbreathable bottoms, the calf “muscles”? The diapers?

          Someone please explain.

      • Tingolayo says:

        I really do hate myself for remembering this, but there’s also a fauxto where Greasy (her best friend, you know) is holding one of her hind legs like that, and looking like he wants to flee. I bet it’s another case of her trying to sit in a guy’s lap while he’s standing up (TM Philip Marlowe).

  19. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    “Reusable food stuffs”?

    Is Rebecca suggesting a Human Centipede-type scenario?

    • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      kitty

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

        My first AK Kitty!!

        And I didn’t prepare an acceptance speech!

        I am so proud. I can barely contain my tears of joy.

        • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          The first time is always the best. Re: acceptance speech, see Ali Shanti for guidance. She must give an endless Oscar speech at least once a month, when she’s reached the next level of woodom, and many a goddess is thanked, from Lottus Sattva to Rainforest Enema.

  20. Cowboys & Brayliens loves you Rain! We are NOT breaking up! says:

    “We’re too chickenshit to protest Trump”

    • Not! Random! says:

      Not chickenshit. Just worried that getting “too political” might alienate potential marks and/or parents who are still writing monthly checks to support their adult children.

  21. New Trier HS grad says:

    THIS is success???

  22. Telexfree Antofagasta says:

    Finally saw that documentary “Tickled” about the underground bondage “competive teen tickling” industry and lol’d when the villain was driving the same color make & model car that Peter Baugher drives

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      The greatest movie. Loved it.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      What a bizarre story! I thought it was great. Weird that the guy just died, he was just 55 I think.

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        Oh, I had missed that! Well, he didn’t look like he was in good health at all in the movie, so I am not shocked.

  23. Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

    Have any other catladies been reading up on the shitshow surrounding “feminist” brand Thinx? http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/03/thinx-employee-accuses-miki-agrawal-of-sexual-harassment.html

    Miki and her crowd are about half a degree of separation from Donk’s woos but tend to be richer and are taken much more seriously.

    • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Good Lord! Agrawal is the Christina Morassi from hell. Morassi is the nastiest creature I’ve ever written about on RBD and that’s saying a lot.

    • old man in the taxi cab with chocolate-dusted nostrils says:

      dafuk???

    • Tingolayo says:

      Burning Man might’ve been fun once, but it seems like there are just way too many annoying, self-important woos now.

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        Miki, from what I know about her (many mutual friends), reminds me of Donk if Donk had a work ethic. Huge ego, very calculating, chronic exaggerator, only hangs out with people who are useful to her and/or influential, and keeps talking her way into one opportunity after another even as she continually proves to have no management expertise or reliability.

        BUT she works her ass off and has realized that you can get away with a lot more self-serving shit if you have a “socially conscious” angle to it. That’s something Donk has never been able to even get close to pulling off.

  24. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    OT but always sickening: twice a year, Skankatron celebrates her kids birthdays by making it all about her, and this time, she managed to double down.

    Firstly, the usual birthday post.

    Ali Shanti
    6 hrs ·

    14 years ago tonight … just about this time, I left Courtney Blair’s apartment to head over to the Hollywood Birth Center to give birth to Noah Neely.
    I thought I was 8cm dilated, but upon arriving and being checked by the senior midwife, it turned out I was only 3cm dilated. Talk about a devastating moment.
    They had me walk the stairs. Half naked. Moaning. I did.
    At just that moment Martha Hartney and Joanne Rees Ehlinger arrived.
    I moved to the birthing tub.
    A few incredibly intense contractions there, and the one thing I remember from that brief moment in time was that it was the first time in my life I ever felt full permission to ask for exactly what I wanted, how I wanted it, without any guilt about how it might impact anyone else. Oh birth …
    Suddenly, I couldn’t stay a minute longer in the tub. The toilet was the only place I wanted to be, but the midwives said “no, we don’t do toilet babies here.”
    They guided me to a birthing stool where I squatted as JoAnne held me from behind and underneath. She was 7 months pregnant herself.
    And with a roar and more intensity than I have ever experienced, around 5a on 3/21/2003, Noah was born, a successful VBAC.
    Happy birthday Noah Neely, and happy BIRTHday to me.

    But this year, Ali changed her profile picture too, just before, to make it extra clear that it is all about her.

    Ali Shanti updated her profile picture.
    16 hrs ·
    Taken the week of my 40th birthday, 3 years ago. 40 is the new 27! As is 43.

    Marguerite Ayers
    Marguerite Ayers Um… is the first day of Spring your Birthday? If so, How appropriate!
    MINE TOO ❤💋💥🌹🏵🌷🌻🌼
    Like · Reply · 15 hrs

    Ali Shanti
    Ali Shanti Nope, this was originally posted in November. I just brought it back to life today. 🙂 Is your bday today? Happy birthday woman!
    Like · Reply · 10 hrs

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      She is not going gracefully into middle age.

    • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

      I am SO tempted to change my name to Toilet Baby.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Happy birthday, son! Remember, it’s all about my vagina!

      • Tone-deaf and beautiful MEMEME says:

        Who the fuck needs to know it was a VBAC?

      • Sugar daddy in thd taxi cab says:

        No kidding, i was half expecting the fox sports replay guy to do a still frame on the screen and make note of the dialation dimensions with the electronic pen

      • Sugar daddy in thd taxi cab says:

        Forgive my masculine nievitee, but do most women go into such tecnical ( some might say excruciating) detail when recounting childbirth experiences?

    • Stalker is the New Guacamole: The DJ Avocado Remixes says:

      Someone who thinks she’s 8 cm dilated when she’s actually 3 is the type of person to claim her trick pulled out her IUD in a hot tub.

      Also, what I do on my son’s birthday…….? is NOT give details of the fucking birth!

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Seriously…there is nothing in that post about how great her kid is or…anything. She may be the biggest narcissist of this whole crew.

      • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Unfuckingbelievable. Nothing about her son’s accomplishments, positive qualities, or potential. She even wraps up her tribute to herself by literally – LITERALLY, DONKEY & I TELL YOU! – turning his birthday into hers.

    • Tone-deaf and beautiful MEMEME says:

      Source she’s vile.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      So many weird things about that, including that Pa Neely was not present.

      My heart really breaks for the young Neelys. I can’t imagine being raised by this monster of narcissism and Thin Bruce Vilanch in the nest of coat ghouls and grifting.

      • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

        Your second paragraph is the sort of beauty only other RBDers can appreciate.

        • Tingolayo says:

          “Thin Bruce Vilanch” is a thing of brilliance. Isn’t he also Crazy Estelle Getty? Estelle Parsons? Estelle Winwood? All of the above?

          • Gilly Blake, Unicorn-Studded Rainbow Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            Ahem, Ali married Estelle Parsons.

            How quickly they forget! winky emoticon

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

      Transbraytion:

      My vagina is the center of the Universe.

      I am a selfish cunt in more ways than one.

    • Tingolayo says:

      I hope he has a better birthday than he did last year, when he had to go on a shamanic outdoor endurance test with a bunch of creepy suburban dudes called Sacred Eagle or Fire Warrior; or the time before that, when he had to build his mom a back deck. Kid deserves a pizza party; no creepy adult friends of his mom allowed.

  25. Handbag Is Not A Toilet Baby says:

    I have a friend who is obsessed with the birth and breastfeeding of her children, eighteen and sixteen years later. Trust me: it has everything to do with being the center of undivided attention during pregnancy, versus decades of thankless care after.

  26. ShesJustStupid says:

    Going OT to say that scene of Ewan McGregor making up a song in a Loyalist pub is reason enough to see T2 Trainspotting.

  27. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    Ali wants more of your attention:

    Ali Shanti added 4 new photos.
    10 hrs ·

    Been thinking more about my birth experience with Noah Neely (full story in prior post) and wanted to share something about my pre-labor experience, especially relevant for ambitious working moms.
    I was 29 and an associate at a big law firm in Los Angeles, Munger, Tolles and Olson (the firm founded by Charlie Munger, Warren Buffet’s personal/business lawyer).
    I was one of the few women, and the only mom in the associate pool.
    My husband was a stay at home dad, our daughter was 3.5 (she was born during my post-law school clerkship for a Federal Judge on the 11th Cir. Ct. of Appeals), and I was commuting an hour each way from Redondo Beach to downtown LA.
    Noah was due around March 27, or so. On March 19th, I woke up about 2a and felt an overwhelming desire to go into the office.
    So, I did.
    I spent all morning packing up my office. It turns out I was nesting, ambitious working mom style.
    When I left that day around 5p to head home, I didn’t realize that’s what had been happening and I expected I would be back in the office the next day.
    But when I woke up that next early morning, contractions had definitely begun.
    I never did go back into the office. In fact, the next time I went back, a few months after Noah’s birth, it was to tell the partner I had been working for that I wasn’t coming back. Instead, I would be starting my own law practice.
    After a bath, I went to the beach, swung on the swings, and waited for contractions to intensify.
    Around 3p that day, we drove across LA to my sister’s house in Hollywood, which was near the birth center I would give birth at, and where my daughter would spend the night.
    We ate Chinese food (I stood up behind my chair swaying to handle each contraction), I took business calls from the law firm partner I worked with (as my family got angry at me for being on the phone), and my sister fed me chocolate cake on the toilet in her apartment.
    And then, it was time to head to the birth center, which you can read all about in the prior post. I’ve attached some pictures here too.
    Here’s my point … yes, you can work right up and into labor. Your body will tell you when it’s time to stop. Nesting for an ambitious working mom looks different than for a mom who takes off a few weeks before work, and that’s okay.
    All the ways are the right ways. Choose your own adventure. Love yourself.

  28. playa con dios says:

    and here i thought that eating chocolate cake on the toilet was just an old wives’ tale that your grandmother told you to help induce labor

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