From Routledge’s Studies In Whiteness: Jess Johnson & Her Singing Sistahs

Julia Allison’s BFF and her soulful blond “angels” just won’t stop giving it to us a cappella. “Oh, porno, porno, oh, oh, porno, porno … ”

Sure, Cory. But until that miraculous event occurs, you may have to keep supporting Jaahass. Her Patreon monthly donations have shrunk to $132/mo, though they never came anywhere near the 8k/mo initially requested by the caterwauler.

I thought it would be fun to check out the latest FB posts from the caterwauler’s partners-in-slime, the two women earnestly singing along and the third (unseen) woman tagged by Jaahass. Wow. Just. Wow. Scam Central!

Ms. Davis appears to be channeling KcBaker:

Annie Anton in the shower. With Pearls. “What up, bro?!”

Bottom Picture: Thrilled to be away from the braying donkey, middle-aged DJ Rain PhuturePhuckPhace smiles wide:

#pleasurableescape
#achecklistfailureishappening

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90 Responses to From Routledge’s Studies In Whiteness: Jess Johnson & Her Singing Sistahs

  1. Worrisome Pelts says:

    First!

  2. Can-Swiss says:

    whoa, Rain looks WAY different in this photo compared to his promotional material. He looks like an aging uncle. Is he like in his late 40s?

    • Malformed Face says:

      It’s worrisome!

    • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

      He is.

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

        Unlike Avocado, who LOOKED like he was in his late 40s, but was only 29.

    • AWO says:

      Completely unrecognizable in a shirt.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        IKR? Julia not there to help with his fauxtos?

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        The most annoying & unnecessary character on Schitt’s Creek, ILYR aka Chris Ellitott.

        • Morrocanwear Loves You Rain Babe says:

          Chris Elliott is a genius. Bob Elliot was also a genius.

        • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

          I adore Chris Elliott. Oh my god, Get A Life was so magnificent and weird.

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          Sorry, I’ve never seen the appeal of his humor. In my defense I’ve very pedestrian, so it’s me that’s the problem, and not your taste.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            You and my husband are an army of at least two on that. He is completely unamused by Chris Elliott, even as I am rolling around on the floor in hysterics.

      • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

        “I am a male model, not a male prostitute!”

        • Morrocanwear Loves You Rain Babe says:

          my husband came in to see what I was laughing so hard at and said, “Oh, when he was modeling for Fancy Lad.” We were made for each other.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            I love that he remembered Fancy Lad!

          • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

            Should have read farther before commenting! We are brain twins.

          • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

            “Is that reggae?” Oh my god.

          • Morrocanwear Loves You Rain Babe says:

            If you are ever in the area, Handbag, we can watch a little Cabin Boy together. Do you remember the guy under the seats on David Letterman? It may have been when it was a daytime show.

          • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

            I do remember him. I go aaallll the way back with Letterman (we have the same alma mater and everything) but I didn’t watch him much after he took over the Tonight Show. I liked him best when things were wacky and lower rent. Yes, I’d love a Morrocanwear Cabin Boy viewing party!

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I stayed home “sick” from school to watch the final episode of the Letterman daytime show. I thought I would burst some internal organ when the rose petals fell from the roof and caught fire on the old people’s anniversary cake.

            My brother and I still say “Mrs. Marv Mendenhall” at each other at the most inopportune times.

    • Morrocanwear Loves You Rain Babe says:

      Put the hood back on, please.

  3. Malformed Face says:

    Almost want to change my name to “Love Bath Evening of Intimate Discovery”… almost.

  4. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    He can’t tell the difference between nights and night’s?

    No wonder he likes to pork a Donkey!

    I HATE YOU APOSTROPHE!

  5. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    From Jess’ Patreon page:

    “This creator hasn’t posted anything yet!
    When they do, you’ll see it here first.”

    Actually I assume I will see it here first.

  6. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    “The Bay.” No.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Right? NOBODY calls it that. Maybe if you were actually in a boat on the water, you could say, “I’m sailing around the bay.” But only then.

      Every time one of those hick woos calls it “the Bay,” I think they’re talking about Old Bay crab seasoning, or some location in New England. Go back to Wilmette.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        Also the condescending reference to “little town” Santa Cruz. It’s bigger than hicksville NOVATO, you ignorant hick.

        • dinkledonkle says:

          Santa Cruz native and yes to all this, plus where is Novato’s elite public university? (I also went to UCSC. Literal town and gown in one person.) And and and, most of us who live(d) in SC consider it part of the outer Bay Area, but that’s a point to quibble with.

  7. Fuckyo Nonburn says:

    I cannot understand how these people can tolerate themselves.

  8. JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

    The song in the car is the creepiest thing ever. Sounds like something you would here the Manson family singing.

  9. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    They’ll take infinity love baths, but not one actual shower.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      This. I enjoyed Annie Anton’s remark about how badly she needs a shower. P-U!

  10. LickedRandisCake says:

    Tonight at 11:00…a band of self proclaimed woo priestesses veered off of a cliff and to their fiery doom today. Authorities believe that the driver, instead of looking at the actual road, was enthusiastically singing to Gaia and making googly eyes and duck lips at the onboard dash cam. Unfortunately, it was during this inattentive period when Mary Magdalene decided to presence in the middle of the road. The driver swerved to avoid hitting her and drove over the cliff.

    In a statement following the tragedy, Ms. Magdalene felt horrible about her part in the accident and told this reporter that it was her intention only to slow the priestesses down to a gentle stop and to politely ask the them to stop claiming they are interpreters of her primary message. “That’s some bullshit, don’t you think?” proclaimed Magdalene.

    After further thought, Magdalene realized she didn’t feel that horrible about the events of the day after all.

  11. Whatever says:

    Ouch it truly does sound like a cat being strangled. Jess that face truly looks like they are taking a dump. Yeah like yikes and gross not a cute look.

  12. Curling Irons at Dawn says:

    Your “enoughness”?! That is not a word. None of these are words. “When I presence the energy”?! Better. Presence is a word, just not a verb. You may be a special snowflake unique in your priestess breederdom, but the English language is not.

    These folks are Owen Wilson movie characters, just not the interesting ones. These are the Bradley Coopers before Silver Lining. Well, maybe, in that too. Wasn’t the “butterscotch stallion” Owen the one that coined the phrase “your ‘ness’ness”? As in your wooness, your looniness, your cuckoo for Cocoa Puffsness? They should stick to their Nessness as far as making up words. And quit trying to make “feel into it” happen. It’s creepy and takes me to weird visual places like when you’d stick your hands into a bowl behind a black sheet at a Halloween fair and they’d tell you that spaghetti and Jello was guts and those frozen grapes were eyeballs. No. I’m not going to “feel into it”. I don’t know where that Jello’s been. If it’s even “Jello”.

    • Curling Irons at Dawn says:

      And why is the backseat middle one all Tracy Flicking the camera?! Sit back. Don’t thrust your chest. Put your seatbelt on and stop being a Sally Show-off. FGawdS!

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Sally Show-Off, AKA Annie Anton, followed up her Jaahass singalong with an insufferable video of herself mugging and singing in the shower while talking about how she literally stinks.

        WHERE DO THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE?!

      • Tingolayo says:

        Why do these unemployed, self-proclaimed hippie woos all have nice cars with (non-vegan) leather seats?

    • Never the Bride says:

      Bottle Rocket 4ever! How I adore Dignan.

  13. Playa con dios says:

    Will give credit where due, he is in good shape for his age, earns an honest living, can attract younger women, not all guys in 40s can do that

    • Not! Random! says:

      Especially not the broke-ass 40 something men. He may in fact be the world’s tallest midget.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Thumbs up when you’re so developmentally stunted that you’re dating and banging women young enough to be your daughter, and I ain’t talkin’ burro.

      • Stalker is the New Guacamole: The DJ Avocado Remixes says:

        attracting young women is a bug, not a feature.

    • Morrocanwear Loves You Rain Babe says:

      At some level it really is pathetic, though. Here he is, a guy in his mid-forties, not actually successful, traveling by van from venue to venue to play the 10 AM shows at second rate festivals. He’s never going to be more famous (since that seems to be what he wants). His music is awful. He’s not cute.
      The music could be a fun hobby. He could play a few weekends a year while he pursues other businesses or jobs which are sustainable long term. A good friend would help him to find other ways of living his life. Of course Julia thought her former boyfriend could be both a healing chef and a model, and encouraged the poor man to pursue these both as careers. With her helpful marketing genius, that clearly has never, ever worked, she will launch Rain’s career into the stratosphere.
      The upside is that eventually her father will have to support both of them.

      • Tingolayo says:

        My friend is a classical musician AND has a full-time job of some responsibility. She gets to be an artist, and also has health insurance and benefits, and owns a home. No couch surfing in her 40s.

        He will be in his 50s, working as a part-time “DJ” at dirt festivals, with no insurance and no permanent place to live. I guess that’s better than being in your fifties and unemployed and sub-sub-letting and still calling yourself a journalist and a columnist because of things you did in college, which is where A Donkey will end up.

  14. Tingolayo says:

    OT, but 2 more examples of people who beat A Delusional Donkey to the finish line:

    1. The dude who did that silly Christmas song with Flusher Price has published an OMG book on the music industry, and it’s getting good reviews from actual people, not just woo friends.
    2. I was watching Say Yes to the Dress (I know) and one of the brides had a white wedding dress with a rainbow tulle petticoat underneath. She was marrying an actual human being.

  15. melting marionette says:

    it may just be how i have the display set on my laptop, but krista richards’ photo looks like someone did a really bad photoshop job on it.

    her forehead and cheekbones: oh-so-smooth mannequin-like plastic.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      It’s been photoshopped to oblivion. The person driving the car is also Richards and she looks nothing like the hologram in the Glamour Shots photo.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I feel like the Fauxtochopper was presence-ing Minnie Driver …

  16. Aggressively Stupid says:

    Hey driving Woo Singer, stop looking at yourself in the lens reflection and watch the road!

  17. Energy Pussy (brought to you by BIG TAMPON) says:

    OT (or is it?) A hot take on the endless panel discussions that our woos love so much. (Full disclosure, I just went to a special education conference in Dallas.)
    http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/panels-are-shit-1793257677

  18. The social media struggle is Real says:

    Will Donk hoof it to the ny manor d’elsberg as a new roomie with a cot in the cuckoo cacao chateau with birdies

    Should we be concerned about our overlords? We thank yous! come back

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