Julia Allison, Who Couldn’t Be Bothered To Attend Any Women’s Marches, Will Be Smashing The Patriarchy

Surely purchasing a tee-shirt for $50 will ensure Planned Parenthood clinics stay open?

Bottom Picture!

The Masculine rescues The Feminine and pays for drinks, dinner, frocks, and housing. In perpetuity.

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141 Responses to Julia Allison, Who Couldn’t Be Bothered To Attend Any Women’s Marches, Will Be Smashing The Patriarchy

  1. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    Bottom picture: why is she always pointing her toes down?

    (also seen in Novato stall Adirondack chair picture)

  2. My Tribe Doesn't Have an Easy-To-Spell Name So White Girls Never Appropriate us says:

    Accidentally typed that ‘wildfag.com’. Do not recommend.

  3. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    That site sells lesbian attire, not that there is anything wrong with it, and has absolutely nothing to do with la Donka’s “aesthetic”.

  4. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    Buying shit is Judy’s favorite political act.

  5. Tingolayo says:

    LOL, there is so much about this:

    Why are Donk and the woos always proclaiming how “wild” they are. This is the same person who idolized Paris Hilton IN COLLEGE, and stays in an RV at Burning Man. Wild!!!

    Feminist. Why don’t you do something really feminist and, say, get a job and support yourself?

    “Our aesthetic.” Since when is a baggy grey sweatshirt or unisex clothing Donks’ style?

    THE SHOES. Dear greg, can you picture Julie in oxfords or Doc Martens (30 years too late)? I like that wingtip boot– I’ll have to check whether it’s made in China.

    AS IF Donkey gives a crap that the models are “diverse” (young, thin, pretty, but BROWN!) And not wearing makeup? Since when is “no makeup” one of Julia Allison’s values? They ARE wearing makeup– you pretty much need it in professional photographs– it’s just subtle, and not insane like Julie’s.

    It’s as if she just now discovered, at age 35, clothes that aren’t polyester tutus, and she needs to tell the world that it is finally safe for women to wear a white cotton t-shirt.

    • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

      “Since when is “no makeup” one of Julia Allison’s values?”

      Since Choad. He doesn’t like it, so Donkey is happy to oblige.

    • Jenna's Lions says:

      Now she occasionally dabbles in psychedelics and isn’t married; therefore WILD WOMYN. Welcome to not being sheltered, Julia. 20 years too late. No one is impressed, esp not in SF. People do those things sometimes, have jobs and don’t mooch off their parents. Try it. It’s liberating.

    • Fell off the rainbow raft says:

      Shhhh, it’s not feminist unless the masculine pays for it

  6. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    “It’s our aesthetic!”
    I’m very sad I just ate.

    • Tingolayo says:

      She really is on fire lately with the hypocrisy and the mad scramble for a new identity.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Yep, it’s birthcray month and looks like Choad has flown the coop or soon will be.

        Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

  7. Little Orphan Lilly says:

    Lolololololol I know and greatly appreciate Wildfang and it is about as far away from Donk’s aesthetic as one can get without getting binders involved. It might be a toe in the water as far as admitting her true sexuality, though. (I don’t actually think she’s a lesbian, but the thought of her trying to hang in the Autostraddle comments makes me roll upstairs and out of my basement laughing.)

  8. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Julia Allison
    1 hr ·
    Indiegogo
    ·
    I just contributed! It sounds awesome, doesn’t it??

    Waterhouse Spa & Social Club
    Waterhouse is a private spa and social club for relaxing and rejuvenation. | Crowdfunding is a democratic way to support the fundraising needs of your community. Make a contribution today!
    INDIEGOGO.COM

    Oh Julia and Dead Russian Hooker Number 2 both donated: Hey ladies why not donate anonymously if you’re embarrassed about how little you gave. The point of giving is that people aren’t aware of generosity otherwise it’s just self-promotion. #ICK
    Ariel White
    2 hours ago
    Private

    Julia Allison
    3 hours ago
    Private

    • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

      How do you live in Novato with no job and justify $160 a month (just for membership, services extra) at a spa south of market?

      She is delusional.

    • donkey schoen says:

      Hi!! I just contributed to the ACLU!! It sounds awesome, doesn’t it?

      WTF is wrong with her?

      • Lily's Third Eye says:

        I KNOW RIGHT? Our Constitution is under attack, things are CRAZY and JA is investing in a… spa? – One could contribute to refugees, the ACLU, independent journalists, people running for congress, BLM, the homeless,GLTBQ funds, Native rights, the list goes on and ON and ON ON. These people. GRRR.

        • Random Snowflake™ says:

          Julie already came up with the solution for the natives though :p

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            “Why are Native Americans still drinking fire water?!”

            Related: I’d still love to see the focus group responses from her IT Girls pilot.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            What? Focus group? Must be gold!

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            It’s the Holy Grail of Donkology. Those who have seen the info say it would have crushed a normal human.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            Focus groups described Donkey as “thoroughly unlikable.”

          • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

            This happened multiple times, yes? Also for hosting auditions, etc. People just didn’t find her likeable at all. We know that the majority of people watching MA also thought she was awful, including her co-stars, producers and Andy Cohen.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            I heard a great line today, similar to what Handbag has said in the past: You can’t fake truth. Animals and focus groups appear to be good judges in that area.

        • dinkledonkle says:

          Excuse you, Julia, happiness expert, declared all the world’s suffering can be eliminated with hot tubs, fucking and green juice.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      It sounds so awesome that only two people, both fans in the ‘stans, have given this shill a thumbs up since she posted it over 16 hours ago.

      Related, Donkey received two likes and no comments re: her crowdsourcing Dadsers’ visit. Maybe even the woos realize what an asshat she is for not knowing the myriad of attractions in her latest hometown?

      • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

        Especially after 3 years. There ar a million things to do in that town. She’s an ignoramus.

        • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

          The problem is that, during those 3 years, she spent a grand total of 17 days in the city and 13 of those days were dedicated to yoga fauxtoshoots at the Palace of Fine Arts.

          The other 4 days she spent doing NACHO-worthy things, drugged up to the eyeballs in windowless rooms

  9. ShesJustStupid says:

    She’s either dumped or Chad is out of town. Lots of deranged posts.

    “Evernote versus Trello versus Asana versus Wanderlust.

    Not for teams, but for solo work / lists (with an assistant supporting) – which helps you organize projects and complete them with the best interface?

    (I’m trying them all but wondering if there is a clear answer there)”

    ——

    “Fact check:
    1) public schools have been funded based on the property value of their communities, meaning poorer areas have received substandard, poorly/barely funded education for years
    2) police have been stationed inside many of these same schools, harassing, criminalizing, frightening, and *actively assaulting* students
    3) school boards across the country have omitted history unflattering to the US and included creationism and other anti-scientific ideas
    4) parents in supposedly liberal holdfasts like New York City itself have fought against integrating even with *better performing* schools with mostly minority populations, thus robbing all the children involved of the known benefits of diverse schooling
    5) etc.

    DeVos is beyond horrible, but the system was already a hideous, top-down failure. This year is not a moment in isolation, but the culmination of decades sliding downward.”

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Fun fact: Trello, which was recently sold for $425M, was founded by [Redacted #2].

    • Tingolayo says:

      WORK
      ASSISTANT
      PROJECTS

      I’m dying of laughter. She is out of her mind.

      PS Lists are best done on paper, in purple glitter pen.

      • Ali Shanti's Pubic Lice says:

        If she spent HALF the time working that she does on prethentation and pertheption, she could possibly have a career! This is to laugh, though. SAD!

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        Julia Allison
        May 20, 2014 · San Francisco, CA ·

        NEED! INTERN (summer) transitioning to ASSISTANT (fall) – could be virtual, would prefer Bay area

        Does anyone know a brilliant, SUPER organized, motivated college student or recently out of college (or frankly, any age) who would like to delve into some fascinating work as my intern this summer? The goal would be for us to work together in the summer, get a feel for each other, and then (hopefully, if all goes well) the internship to turn into a part or even full time assistant position come September. IF you only have the summer available (for college students), we can work that out too.

        The aforementioned fascinating work would include everything from working on the subjects of happiness (my book), the media (I’m developing a product on how entrepreneurs can hack the press), new age healers, technology, tv, relationships, etc. Would be working with me on everything from my book to my private entrepreneur clients to photoshoots for brands I work with to tv pitches (or potentially a show) to website / design to social media management to monthly events hosted here, in NY and in LA, etc etc.

        In other words, I want to find my “right hand person” or eventual Chief of Staff. My business is expanding rapidly and I cannot keep up!!

        Must be one of those epic hyper organized can-do types who will one day be running a company 😉 Or the country.

        You will meet amazing people, be a part of incredible events and (if all goes well) be fully integrated into my life.

        Doesn’t *HAVE* to be in the Bay area, although that would be nice.

        Direct message me or email me at JA@JuliaAllison.com

        • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

          Good times.

          • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

            Come to think,of it, whatever happened to Tina Yothers Hackett?

          • Tingolayo says:

            She must have graduated from that horrifying Stars ‘n’ Stripes University or whatever dumb diploma mill back east, and is now trying to get a job with “Ran Errands for Crazy Reality Show Has-Been” on her resume. Or she could fall back on her modeling career. ;/

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          Scheme juices are gearing up circa 2014 for the big parental visit. Pretending to be busy must be exhausting.

        • Tingolayo says:

          If the “assistant” (hahahahaha, oh god I’m dying) does all that, what’s left for Donk to do?

          MY BUSINESS
          MY CLIENTS
          MY PRIVATE CLIENTS
          MY BOOK
          INCREDIBLE EVENTS
          BRANDS I WORK WITH
          FULL TIME ASSISTANT

          How’s that working out for you, Julie?

          • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

            And a year before that, she was shilling for an assistant to work with her and Derpin, helping them manage all this, plus their charitable projects.

            Of which there are (and were)…none.

            She really is in lather rinse, repeat mode again.

          • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

            Have you forgotten about the sweet potato turds for the homeless?

            #nevahevahforget

        • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

          Does…does she know that unpaid internships are almost always illegal in California?

          Because I don’t think she does.

          • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

            Silly, laws don’t apply to her. Until she gets caught like she did for illegally subletting and was evicted and sued.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          Julia comes up with a list of 10 or so people she knows who earn more than $30k a year and might take her call.

          “Hi, just wanted to let you know that I’ve started a company, the Reimagination Factory! I’m so excited!”

          “That’s great, Julia! So what does your company do?”

          “Well, that’s my question exactly! What do you think my company should do? Please be as precise as you can.”

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            Her last business endeavor was as an entrepreneur of a blog, so I don’t think she’ll be offering anything of value. It’s pertheption and prethentation all over again. Of course, the website will have lots of photos of her, that’s what’s important. That and having a “business” that she can use to try to finagle free stuff.

        • melting marionette says:

          BOOK IS CANCELED, YET IS ALIVE.

        • Razzmatazz says:

          It’s amazing how far her business has come in these last 2.5 years. What’s next? IPO? Fuck you money? A nostalgic resumption of the Velveeta Cheesy Skillets partnership?

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            I was trying to think of all the PAID things she’s done since Miss Advised finished airing in 2013. Here’s the list I came up with:

            – Hosted two dating seminars and whined on Twitter about not being paid
            – Wrote one NYT story that took four months and seven rewrites. Will never write for them again.
            – Was at some Ben Way presentation in LA that never amounted to anything. Not sure if paid.
            – Was on a panel at some Hive thing at Harvard.
            – Spoke about hacking the media to a small audience of Woos at Envision
            – Insulted Native Americans on a CNN panel
            – Provided some unknown consulting work to one woman late in 2016.

            Did I miss anything? This is all she’s done in the last four years.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            Oh, also was on some women’s studies panel at Penn. Again, not sure if paid.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            — Supplied gratuitous rebound sex.

          • Tingolayo says:

            How many items on Grifty’s (already brief) list were based on Donk’s lie that she was an author of a book on happiness?

        • Moroccanwear Loves You Rain says:

          I remember this because I thought about asking one of my kids to apply. He was a college student at the time and shares my amusement at people who insist on making a spectacle of themselves. I spared him the request, since he had an actual internship at the time.

          Since that time he has turned the internship into an exciting and lucrative career. Julia is much older and still doing the same nonsense. If she was likable, I would feel sorry for her.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            Is the same child who also knew Fozzy? We already owe him so much.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

            I love that Fozzie did something SO DISGUSTING when in college that your son couldn’t even bring himself to tell you what it was! The mind baughles …

    • ok says:

      What a noob question.

      You can tell she doesn’t work in a digital office because a 21 yo GEN Z kid knows more how to get shit done and she hasn’t worked recently because none of those software are cool when the coolest thing now is Quip–obvi.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat Whores says:

      Not sure if #1 is true.

      #2 to #4 are policies pushed by Republicans, ALEC, Americans for Prosperity (Koch brothers), etc.

      To think that naming a staunch Republican billionaire, that has donated millions to those very same groups and politicians, we’ll improve anything is beyond stupid.

      It’s like believing that electing Donald Trump is going to do something to improve the life of the little guy.

  10. melting marionette says:

    >I’m developing a product on how entrepreneurs can hack the press

    shorter: free coverage by grifting the media.

    didn’t kevin rose already do this?

  11. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:
    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Hee! I assume that lady’s attorneys are going to argue that the restaurant’s donkey is an “attractive nuisance.”

      Unlike our Donkey, who is only one of those things.

  12. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    So.

    Are those chicks or dudes?

    I know a guy who is a dead ringer for the person on the right. Although he usually doesn’t look as if someone in the room just stepped on a duck.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Never mind, just read a bit about the website. Woo hoo, I guess, although spending $50 for a T-shirt doesn’t seem very feminist to me.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Yeah, same. Those guybrows throw me every time.

  13. Fieierce Mani says:

    How does this even appeal to Joey Primiati. She is insane.

  14. Donkin Donuts says:

    it has to be KILLING HER that redacted #2 had a company sell for 425 million dollars, while she can’t even get a barely there DJ to commit to being in an open relationship with her.

  15. Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

    Scheme juice desperation edition formula for success in 2017:

    1. Identify young up-and-coming SV movers and shakers.
    2. Use connections (whatever is left) to place you in the same room as them.
    3. Massively suck up to them in person, drop lots of names, and overinflate your bio.
    4. Tag them incessantly on FB stressing how much you have in common.
    5. Pretend to be more important and more connected than you are on FB. Humblebrag and be the best slactivist SJW ever.
    6. Create a Hollywood set of a website with no substance, no case studies, no credible third party references, no business proposition. But lots of professional photos to make you seem more than you are.
    7. Fail.
    8. Ask Dadsers for more money.
    9. Repeat steps 2 through 8.

  16. Woo Detective says:

    The internship ads are hysterical but also scary in a way. She’s been posting the same ad for a decade now. She wants the best, smartest most capable person out there but then always states that they don’t have to be in the same town. Wtf?

    • Tingolayo says:

      A rambling internship ad about how “amazing” and “incredible” the job is… with no actual job description.

      Remember when Talking Tina Hackett let it slip that one of her “internship” duties was helping Donk pick out her (polyester, Chinese sweatshop) self-wedding dress for Burning Man.

  17. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:
  18. Tingolayo says:

    OT but not really: I wasn’t around in the Tribune Media Faux-Services days, so what exactly was this “technology” column that Donk bra(y)gs about? It wasn’t a real column, as in “5 Projects You Can Do with an Arduino” or “How to Jailbreak the New iPhone,” was it? It was a faux column, like “OMG I just got a pink case for my iPhone!” right?

    It’s just so funny and delusional that Julia Allison would try to pitch a show called IT Girls, when she has never worked in technology (and was an alleged adult, not a girl.)

    • Random Snowflake™ says:

      You’re giving her too much credit. It had nothing to do with tech, and she mostly bitched about concert festivals lacking adequate wi-fi, the wonders of rent-the-runway.com, and completely ignored the Arab Spring that was happening concurrently as she had this column.

      She had a column with Tribune related to the topic of social media and the Internet, while the Arab Spring had just recently started popping off, and completely flushed a primo opportunity down the tubes.

      Once again Julie Albertson snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory.

      Here’s a sample of what was going on back then.. http://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/08/09/julia-allison-criticizes-lollapalooza-for-not-providing-enough-distraction-that-would-prevent-her-from-enjoying-the-moment/.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        Best line ever: Once again Julie Albertson snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory.

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        Oh, my heavens, that was an exciting time. She ditched Billow to go to Tim Ferret’s dumbass seminar, where she met her woo clan and got her first invitation to Burning Man! Looking back on the whole thing, it’s like we were right in on the moment where her life started going completely to shit!

        Still can’t believe Billow had her in her wedding party after those shenanigans. Judy is a terrible friend.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      She either talked about herself (the one about snooping through boyfriends’ phones was a classic) or repurposed press releases about her acquaintances’ businesses. It was insanely bad, and they pulled the plug on the thing after maybe five months.

    • HollyO says:

      You’ve just reminded me that one of her ‘tech’ ‘columns’ was about shedding tarantulas. I’m laughing so hard I might expire (jk I’m over 30 so that’s already happened).

  19. Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

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