Oh honey. So so embarrassing.
If she wasn’t so inward-looking, some (most) of it would be obvious. The other 2% is butterscotch ripple.
I like the little hissy fit at Bear Kittay for failing to provide more detail. Jesus, lady. Sit down and shut up.
Especially since she went out of her way to tell people they could post what they wanted. Also, his answer infuriated her? Way to be histrionic, Donkey.
Maybe we’re wrongly assuming that Decisive Donkey is pretending to find
herself in the position of deciding to choose a partner for a life sentence …
Maybe (probably) she’s looking for a general consensus of some inanity or
another, such as: “Wear your dead granny’s pink nightgown to bed — guys
LOVE that shit so much, they wanna put a ring on it!”
JULIA ALLISON NEEDS YOUR HELP SPINNING HER NEXT PERSONA
There’s more in response to Bear
“Bear Kittay – if you don’t feel it’s obvious – or if you HAVE felt it was obvious in the past and those relationships ended … then I’m not sure it’s such a useful metric”
Also, in another comment she says she’s “known” three previous times.
dead granny, totally wrong. try again.
Yes, saw that, my screen capture skills suck and the app I like has been malfunctioning lately. Grrr.
Perhaps there’s an app that provides a useful metric for determining something so many others have figured out? Julia doesn’t have friends, a tribe, or a man who wants her.
I love it when she tries to use buzzwords.
Me too. It’s like a child that overheard the grown ups talking and quickly tries to use a previously unknown word in a sentence. #JuliasABigGirlNow
“Best practices” is the one that always gets me.
She may have “known,” but unless that feeling is mutual, it is worthless. Beargent Pepper is talking about a mutual knowing. Donkey decides she knows, and then pushes her agenda on her partner.
Whatever happened to all the wisdom she was supposed to glean at her attention-whoring self-wedding?
THIS IS SUCCESS!
She doesn’t know what “metric” means lol.
She’ll never “know” because she’s not capable of ever “knowing” which is why she’s also not capable of understanding what they’re talking about. You can’t fake “knowing.” The only thing she knows is how to fake emotion (cut to jumping in photos). She needs to stick to what she knows faking it alone…forever.
oh wow… she is snapping. no proposal from phuturfrimitive is forthcoming?
also she acts like choosing a life partner is one choice… like you just “say yes to the dress” so to speak and then you two are bound together for all eternity. you can have doubt in a relationship in a lot of times and for all kinds of reasons.
methinks her issue isn’t deciding so much as it is actually having any options :/
I’d like to respectfully ask that you change your user name since sugar is bad and triggered me since I have no self control and just used postmates to deliver a half dozen donuts. (clearly I’m joking but only about changing your user name!)
It is totally a pre-emptive face-saving strike because she knows she is about to get dumped, or has been already, and will spin it by saying she “decided against” him. Same as she ever was.
This is reminiscent of her posts when she got back from Europe with Derpin.
Yep, she just “knew” he wasn’t right for her and she needs to learn the language from people who are capable of understanding. They’re helping her write the narrative of dumped and alone again.
Relatives visit and I miss the good shit. Why did ANYONE even bother to answer her cri de coeur? Rain is clearly bored with her histrionics and the desperation has been showing for the last few months. Oh, and fucking Katrina Szish crawls out of the woodwork to trash Watercress?
Julia’s orgy wrangler comes to her rescue:
Destin Gerek I have two former fiancées, and am now engaged again. The two previous, it felt like something that I really *wanted* to be it. After the second one, let’s just say I was very reluctant to ever go there again.
And then Elie Prana stepped back into my life. My mind chatter came up w all sorts of stories trying to dissuade me or trick me into running/sabotaging. Yet, each time, I felt this deeper voice soothing me, telling me to let those thoughts come and go. Stay with it. As I observed my patterns but didn’t react from them (or minimally anyway;-)
Overtime their volume diminished more and more, as it became clearer and clearer just how well everything just ‘worked’ w Elie. The love kept growing more depth and dimensions. I became a better and better man the longer I’ve been w her. Even my thick skull was able to accept and embrace that this is it.
Kevin Kurgansky So many different ways/paths to it. seems like there’s no one clear answer, which is both a bit troubling to the mind who wants to know, but peaceful to the soul who knows it can happen in so many different ways 🙂
Julia Allison This is REALLY helpful Destin. Thank you.
Julia Allison I especially relate as I’ve been engaged before and part of what created a deep sense of fear and mistrust with my own knowing is that I “knew” … um … three times prior to now.
Julia Allison Clearly, of course, I was wrong. This creating a cycle of confusion.
Re: Katrina, I’ll AK Kitty myself.
Donkey just posted about dogs skydiving in South Africa. Are we in a full-blown manic phase?
I would venture to guess she hasn’t slept yet. No way did she wake up at 8:30am.
“I especially relate, as I was once engaged and then started fucking a married man…”
Did she take her exchange with the Bear down?
I did enjoy this response:
Ben Way It’s simple don’t settle, if you have to evaluate it then the answer is already it’s the wrong person. Love our strongest emotion is not something you should need to question it’s either there or it’s not; anything else is mediocre and probably will end in tears. It’s hard enough making love work.
I love Lalla’s comment. What she doesn’t know is that Donkey probably made a five-page spreadsheet of possibilities and reasons before she decided on that name.
Ummmm….Sunshine? Pretty Face? Unicorn Cheesecake? Rainbow!!!
I think Rain, not Rainbow, is the one having issues about choosing, and this is Donkey’s incredibly subtle way of nudging him–which is why Bear’s response *infuriated* her, as it contravenes this plan, what with Rain being far far away from “knowing” the “obvious.”
Which is also why she finds the Destin answer so helpful.
I second this theory.
Tiny&Cute indicated Rain was with her because of Donkey’s microcelebrity past. Surely he’s realized she can do NOTHING to further his music career?
related: watched HS Musical with the kidz; omg, ashley t*sdale
Curve game on fleek
This. She will cherry-pick the responses once she gets what she wants to hear, and forward just those to ILYRAIN to try to manipulate him.
Looks like conscious uncoupling time. Where will she move next? She doesn’t seem overly enamored with Marin except as a photoshoot backdrop with horses she never rides.
Good guess. I think you’re right.
Didn’t she come up with Rainbow because she liked Rainbow Brite as a little girl? I guess if you extend that logic maybe she’ll just “know” she’s meant to be with Luke Perry or some other early 90s Tiger Beat hunk.
As long as she keeps her sausage hooves off Jason Priestley. I called dibs on him after seeing Love and Death on Long Island (one of the world’s greatest movies) and those dibs have yet to be rescinded, which makes them valid dibs under international law.
Don’t worry your pretty head. She gets Ian Ziering.
Or maybe David Silver’s annoying friend who shot himself after spending the summer in Texas.
Scotty. His name was Scotty. And David Silver’s voice started cracking when he was all faking his emotional ode to Scotty. It was glorious.
Albie, I actually own a VHS copy of Love and Death on Long Island. It is a treasured antique. Sadly under-appreciated.
As we all know, she likes colors (bright).
not to be a grammarian, but the phrase “deciding to choose” is redundant, you either decide on a life partner, or choose a life parter, not both
having said that, most people are not in a position to simply “decide” or “choose a partner from a candidate lot, as if deciding or choosing which flavor to get when you are standing at the counter of an ice cream store
i also diagram sentences on the side for extra spending $$$
One could decide to choose from between two (or more) potential life partners.
Were one a total ho.
btw- few things are as entertaining as woo on woo crime
“Decide such an enormous question?”
Does she mean, “How did you come to that decision?”
Bad at writing; bad with instinct.
And when did you decide to put this “enormous question” publicly on social media for all to see? I can’t imagine how mortified I would be if my boyfriend posted something like that.
It’s so funny how she crowdsources the most personal shit and then argues with the respondents. Who, I say, who does that?
She argues with those who say what she doesn’t want to hear. The crowdsource itself is more apropos coming from a college sophomore, not a nearly 36-year-old journalith.
People incapable of understanding truth have *narratives* and anyone who does fit her *narrative* is wrong in her eyes.
She literally says, “Please go into as much detail as you want.”
We all know that she actually means, “please go into extreme detail, as I need to know exactly what thing I need to do to convince someone I am their life partner” but leave it to Judy to both not write good & excoriate those who do not divine her meaning.
Also: “Please talk in detail about how awesome I am and how I deserve the best of the best and any man who doesn’t see me for the beautiful, amazing goddess I am should let me dump him dramatically and publicly for all to see while still maintaining a ‘friendship’ afterward so he never has a normal relationship with another woman ever again.”
I just read it as she wants everyone to say, “omg you and rain are MEANT for each other. You are so perfect in every way, I WISH I had a relationship as amazeballs as yours.”
And Lala clearly can’t stand her.
Lalla’s just tire of Donkey never hitting the learn button or being willing to fork over Dadser’s money for any of her woo therapy. Donkey always crowdsources the exact stuff that they peddle, never takes their advice, and that asshole entitlement attitude has to be annoying. Some of them seem to be wising up to her tactics, particularly the ones she keeps using for free advice she never takes, or like others before them, those who finally figure out all the cat basement talk about her is actually true.
… Donkey always crowdsources the exact stuff that they peddle, doesn’t pay them anymore …. FTFY
See also: Where is book? BOOK DEAD.
i think you hit nail on head with crowdsourcing for free advice that the woos are trying to sell
anticipate fewer and fewer responses as time goes on
Or just fewer from the “professional” woos. She has refused to follow up on any free self esteem and relationship counseling help she got from Lalla or LaPhlegm, or the entrepreneurial support she could have gotten from, say, Noodles or KC Baker or Skankatron. I’m not advocating them, just saying she’s clearly dissing these “sisters” by not accepting that their programs have any value for her.
Oh so much of this. Or for someone to ask “what’s making you question your current relationship” but everybody knows (Phedra voice) that she doesn’t HAVE a relationship, she’s a doormat to a middle-aged carnival dj.
Hi! It’s Julia. Welcome to another Facebook episode of my as-if life!
Today my experiment in playing pretend is about getting married. Did you know I was engaged three times? No? Well, that makes you, and two of the guys I say I was engaged to! Yes, I was engaged once right out of college, moved to Los Angeles, and split for a married guy with kids who happened to be in the TV biz and owned an apartment in NYC. Can you believe? Haha! Well, I left him but stayed in his place for free for two years, pretty good, right? I like to claim I looked at rings with a very nice guy I’ve never gotten over, but you see I left him one Christmas after he’d flown out to Chicago, because I had a date! With a billionaire! So I went with the billionaire to the Caribbean, then his brother took me to Europe! But the nice guy and I looked at rings, I swear! And then he got engaged to someone else and I had to tell her he was still banging me when they met because, well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! And then there was Jack! We had such a great life together for a week or two! We discussed marriage! It was just like we were engaged! Just like it! And dear Derple! My Grandmother sent him to me to help met get another TV show! We pretended to be a happy couple for a few years, and you could feel the electricity in all of the carefully posed photos I posted of us together! If that isn’t being engaged, WHAT IS?
And now there’s Dwayne. I love Dwayne, but you know, I am a dancer, and he doesn’t invite me onstage to dance. WTF? I mean come ON. Now Dwayne is what I like to call a base model, I mean he’s really not making much money. He saves money by not buying shirts, but still. He’s a reason for me to stay in California, and lord knows I need reasons to convince my parents to keep sending me those checks! But Dwayne is always on the road and he’s single on Facebook. So this is a hard sell, let me tell you people. He goes into shock when I talk about commitment, but it just looks bad for me to be single and he’ll have to do until I find somebody rich.
But tell me, how do YOU go about making the decision of choosing a life partner?
Hahaha! Suck it, Judgy Judy!
Masterpiece. Didn’t she change her magazine subscriptions to Jack McCain’s parents’ condo? And snoop on his emails and internet activities when he was asleep? And she ate all of Cindy McCain’s Girl Scout cookies from the freezer? And they physically escorted her to the airport to make damn sure she was on a plane and removed from their lives forever?
Such good times! She’s all yours, fellas!
Donk needs another reality show to make the heartfake, I mean heartbreak go away.
I know exactly why Julia is so frustrated with the advice that “you will just know.” She’s been raised to believe that the world is all about Julia and that if she wants something, she can have it. Her parents never taught her the importance of thinking about others’ feelings, or the necessity of working hard to achieve success. Thus, she has zero conception of how to do that in a relationship. She thinks SHE gets to decide and then the male will just come along for the ride. Healthy relationships never work that way.
In sum, Julia’s question should not be “how do you decide on a life partner?”, it should be “what is wrong with me that I am still looking for a life partner at age 36?” She would get good, honest answers. Of course, she wouldn’t like them one bit.
“how do you decide on a life partner?” makes it sounds like she has this vast array of choices, ardent suitors pursuing her. In reality, her personality and selfishness and laziness and delusions are so off- putting, men flee.
Donkey just thanked Destin Gerek for his comments re: two previous fiancees. She also thanked Rain, though he never made a comment in the thread. Desperate Donkey Is Desperate.
Joy Rheman Thank you for sharing Destin
Destin Gerek Julia Allison I totally get it.
Perhaps ask yourself, as time goes on, do you find yourself liking who you are being more, or less? It’s been a big indicator for me…
Julia Allison Destin Gerek much more!!!!!! Thank you Rain Phutureprimitive
WE LOVE YOU RAIN FOR MAKING JULIE LIKE HERSELF MUCH MORE!!!!!!
An interesting con, make ILYR think she’s doubting her love for him so he’ll feel “negged” as the kids used to say and lock it down.
Next: online flirting with Wali & Puspito
Did she just thank him for dumping her? Wow, this is getting weird, even for her.
No, she’s trying to counter something he believes, i.e. that’s she is too needy and insecure and lazy. He’s moving away, and she’s responding from a place of desperation. Like someone else said, she wants people to vote on who is right and proclaim them perfect for each other so he’ll change his mind. What she doesn’t realize is that it’s over. Her little social engineering experiment has failed. But what did she expect? If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you. Everybody knows that.
target already has valentine’s day everything
‘More much more’ = response to dude who asked if she likes herself more or less.
‘Thank you ILYRAN’ = pissing on his leg in the form of a ‘compliment’ saying he makes her a better person.
Oh my Greg, she needs to stop embarrassing herself. She can’t crowdsource him into marrying her.
Julia Allison I totally get it.
Destin Gerek much more!!!!!! Thank you Rain Phutureprimitive
My Cankleshausen is through the motherfucking roof.
This whole,public display of their dirty laundry should be enough for him to dump her.
I would be furious if someone I had been seeing for however long pulled such a public stunt. She never learns.
I wonder if ghosting her is his next step.
Don’t they live together?
She’s probably spitting tacks because she wasn’t invited to his Hawaii tweedle fest in early February.
DO they still live together? Seeing how she’s been in Encinitas, a good six-ish hrs away, it’s like she has no place she calls home. Not one she cares to be at, anyway, but she wants to lock that shit down w/ ILYR all the same? Sounds about right ..
This is like the second or third time in months too. He must be too stupid to know he should be insulted by these public manipulative posts.
Her next Disney lipdub should be LET IT GO!
How does this not mortify her, to do this again and again?
Insecurity is tho thexy 🙂
Wtf? Seriously what the hell is wrong with her. What did her parents do to her? In fact what did they not teach her she has life skills, emotional intelligence, intelligence, empathy or work ethic .
And yet her brother seems like a well-adjusted, productive person.
What the hell happen, one hell of a detour.
My theory for a long time was that Granny used child Julie as a pawn in her conflict with Robin. This may still be my theory to some extent, but ShesJustStupid’s username also makes a powerful argument.
Right there w/ ya re: NGMB’$ instigating the shit.
The difference between Britt and Julia makes perfect sense, if you think about their family dynamic. I’m not knocking Robin’s choice to drop her career and stay home with the kids, never to return. Women should be free to choose that path. But her example left Julia with an expectation that she would never really have to work. Meanwhile, Brother Britt followed Pettifogger’s “the male provides” model.
And yet, doesn’t Britt’s wife still work? Teaching?
Julia also had NGMB filling her head with Someday Your Prince Will Come fantasies and country club dreams.
Robin is by all accounts an active volunteer in the manner of rich suburban ladies. Judy has delivered burned yams once and used magazines once. Judy fails at stay-at-home-wifery (besides failing at wifery entirely).
What’s absolutely INSANE is that she has said openly that she should basically be allowed to “keep a comfy home” and buy flowers and tend to the social calendar while her man takes care of everything else. She believes she deserves this EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN’T HAVE CHILDREN.
The fact that this is never happening for her is one of the greatest things about continuing to follow RBD.
In NGMB’s defense, she would always tell Julia to “Let It Unfold” (hence the tattoo, LIU) as Julia would maniacally plan spontaneous “meet cute & marry” schemes and present them to her.
Eh – my family is fcked and I turned out well-adjusted and productive despite them not because of them. Perhaps Britt was smart enough to see the dysfunction and make a conscious (THERE I SAID IT!) effort to do the opposite.
Such an angry little girl.
The Noodles and Jena things are burning a hole in her, plus new baby for Britt. She can’t stand to see anyone else have what she wants.
Note that she hasn’t “liked” any of their posts–even the cute baby one in the bed that Noodles posted.
Related: her post about how women suffer horrific injuries when giving birth. Why post this?
Diapermonger scare tactics. She so jelly.
Totes jelly. But this donkey is so self-absorbed she doesn’t even realize the hard work of her parent-friends.
I try to not play the “just wait…” card with expecting parents. But in her case, she seriously does not have the slightest clue of what it takes to handle a newborn, infant, toddler, preschooler…
Like all this talk about being a good person or growing or being the embodiment of love (barf) that she’s made for the last 10 years – despite all that, she’s just… not a good person. She isn’t capable of parenting. She can’t even care for a dog.
Ahem…what she DESERVES!
(She has the smarts to make F.U. Money and the looks to get any man she wants. Or does she? Evidence?)
if i am not mistaken, i do believe something missing from this conversation is the she is already married to herself
does that count as one of the 3 times she thought she got it right but was wrong?
I’m beginning to think her self-marriage was just a stunt for attention!!
Apologies if it this mentioned above; sometimes I fail at skimming, but one of this asshat’s first cryptic tweets about Pancakes (I think) was something like, “When you know, you just know.”
Yes, you are right!
Wow! I knew she’d said this but couldn’t remember which mark she was talking about. Pancakes was probably the least interested in Donkey than any of her unfortunate suitors and had to call in his mother to have her removed from the condo in Coronado. Fucking delusional and she’s learned nothing, not even with Dadsers funding those weekends with Tony.
How telling the only thing she knew is that it was all down hill from there.
Among the more pathetic replies:
“Do you want me to send you How to Be Married?”
Such a desperado. Why is she in Encinitas? Which woo is she crashing with? What about her lovely bedecked home in Novato?
The deck they shared…
I think this is the closest to straight talk that Julie will ever get from the passive-aggressive woo tribe. The underlying theme I’m getting from their collective responses:
1. A relationship must be mutual
2. You have to dedicate yourself to giving to your partner every day
3. They make you actually want to be a better person
Previously, Julia has whined about believing that her partner should treat her like a princess. I take this series of responses as the woos’ way of telling Julia that she’s not ready for partnership.
Oh wow. Jennifer Russell responded. Totally subtweeting her for her 72pt checklist
“I would say what we DIDN’T DO was tick the boxes off and decide that each of us met our pre-determined criteria…”
Yeah, Donks didn’t happen to “like” that comment.
Was that La Russell with the ice burn? Because in your befillered face, Jabba!
Didn’t Judy and ILYR go to their Las Vegas couples workshop last year? Possibly for free? Judy never learns.
I was hoping someone would drop the 73 point checklist on her.
Even dead hooker number 2 is tired of telling her the same thing over and over again. Julia just keeps asking until she hears what she WANTS to hear not NEEDS to hear. Even her woos would agree with that statement.
Excuse me goddess
It’s too bad we don’t know her mailing address. I’d love to send her a copy of “He’s Just Not Into You.”
ILYRAIN liked this post by Hot Foot Lurch’s son. Uh oh, Donkey!
Jairek Robbins: “Julia always interesting to look back and ask if it was truly your heart guiding or was it a blueprint made up by the mind that made it feel right.
It definitely changes as we journey through life.”
I guess that could be interpreted a few ways. Either he’s saying that she was more calculating before and forced herself to feel it was right when really HE is the correct choice even though he’s broke and bangs groupies.
He likes it because he thinks she’s a superficial list maker.
Survey Says! Choice number two.
So he IS following along. Hoping someone ELSE will tell Donk how it is. Same as when he was listening in on the ph call between Donk and Cute & Tiny.
Wimp much, Phuckphace?
Not sure why but Tony Soprano singing “Dirty Work” instantly sprang to my mind:
My first post in months and it was a fail. ‘Twas a reply to Brayella re: her spot-on Rain read.
OT: I vainly insist that everyone making the Heathers jokes a few threads back go check out my IG. We had an 80’s teen movie party for brah’s bday; my bfflz went as M. Dumptruck and I did Heather Duke. Complete with change to red + bow as I got drinker and meaner.
We also had a bottle of random booze with blue curaçao mixed in that I had a little too much of. Corn Nuts (regular AND BQ). Croquet mallet not pictured.
That is all.
That sounds so fun! What is your IG handle (I don’t think I follow you)?
Mcakez, I saw it and commented – looked amazing!
I loved it. Say Anything reference was fantastic.
Love it! Following you now (aka tillie).
This is great.
“Does anyone have more information or details about Levi Felix’s funeral/memorial celebration?
Missing this beautiful spirit.”
“It was yesterday.”
Riddle us THIS, Julia Allison:
How did you decide to choose @LillyDog as THE ONE to be the poor mutt you’d neglect when not putting through torturous contortions as a prop for endless, self-aggrandizing fauxto shoots? How did you DECIDE to be such an ENORMOUS piece of work?
Feel free to go into as much metail as you dare …
She is braying over on David Block’s page about ILYR
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