Worrisome January Snippets

Silence from Social Justice Donkey – the world has missed her dozen daily outrages. Are she and ILYR still talking a vacation from vacation-itis with Mary & Meaghan 6.0? A January marriage and honeymoon? Surely Julia doesn’t want another sistah to beat her down the aisle?

Scanning the woo landscape, I see Ali Shanti’s scheme juices are a brewin’. Her latest beau, like all prior suckers, is in recovery for alcohol and drug addiction, but the old raunch is making inquiries regarding Eau de Marijuana:

Meanwhile, beloved Rainbow Michael Haynes keeps posting yawn-inducing videos about his sobriety – do the woos ever do anything without recording it for posterity? He’s also posting creepy vids of himself and SK3B:

Jena la Flamme posted a new FB cover fauxto of the grifter goddesses:

Jena and her betrothed, Sacha, AKA DJ Deadbeat Dad, will be dancing for us tomorrow night in San Francisco, where they’ll be joined by Michael Ellsberg and the usual suspects. Amazingly, Jena found time to write some verse. Yes, the pleasurable layabout is a poet!

Finally, a self-proclaimed iconic moment with uke master Jess Johnson:

Bottom Picture: Sparkly, Spackley NYE Donkey!

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88 Responses to Worrisome January Snippets

  1. Gimme Pig of Love says:

    Bunnies, 2016 did it’s damnedest but IT’S GONE AND I’M STILL HERE. BYE, FELICIA.

    Thanks again for all the unbelievable love and support. And the hilarious commentary.

    PS. DONKEY

  2. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    I admire people who have made it through (a sustained process) and discuss it years after (which lends to their credibility), there is value to what many have to say. However I can’t help but think that Susan Sarandon’s daughter Eva Amurri’s recent baby skull fracture used as an inappropriate time to discuss her induced PTSD, is just like the rest of the ProfessionalVictims we discuss on here. They constantly create their own problems which allows them to falsely claim they can *help* others only for financial gain. It’s gross just like Ali Shanti, Jena la Flamme, Jess Johnson, Nisha Moodley and Julia Allison Baugher.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      I feel terrible for the baby, but appalled that Ms. Amurri made it All About Her.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        Me too, that poor child. I’d have sympathy for a mother who accidentally hurt their child but not in this situation. I don’t think anyone would have known (outside of family, hospital and perhaps CPS). I used to sell plates and screws for craniofacial surgery and saw first hand parents who brought children in with accidents and they were horrified and embarrassed (although they shouldn’t have been) but none acted like this which is a huge REDFLAG

  3. C says:

    She looks like a slutty mom in her NYE pic.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      The newest fillers were really not a succeth.

    • Norse Horse says:

      That last pic, with her “2017!!!!” shit?

      She is so. Basic. In the Dictionary of Basic, look up “New Year’s Eve”, and you will find that picture right there.

    • Energy Pussy (brought to you by BIG TAMPON) says:

      Does she have a ring on THAT finger?

  4. Telexfree Antofagasta says:

    Happy new year and thanks for the posts Gilly. Any predictions for 2017?

    Such as: how long can Choad last? Will he break The Modesto Strangler’s record for most consecutive days in a pretend relationship? Will Shanti get evicted? Will Avocado sample a Puspito Vito Oo Nugroho bassline on his next free album?

  5. Telexfree Antofagasta says:

    Seriously tho Choadster is getting close to being the Cal Ripken of the Clam Dungeness right?

  6. Princess WideStance says:

    Iconic image. Hahaaaa. Like that time Donkey said she was a “muse” to some fashion designer. These people are such dipshits.

    • Norse Horse says:

      Hey, she really is a muse for all of us here, so we can observe the depths to which lazy selfish entitled airhead narcissists can sink. Literally makes me muse, and also laugh, literally abysmal.

      She was probably a muse only for a fashion designer (rustic beauty pageants only) who wanted to save money on fabric, considering her freakishly short stumpy legs.

      • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

        The fashion designer probably said to her, “You amuse me,” and she misunderstood him.

  7. laughing at woos says:

    My my all the grifters it so American and euro to think of themselves as goodness and muse. Muse of what no talent, cray, ignorant, selish, inconsiderate and imbalance. Each one including noodles are ricidlous.

  8. Trainswrecked says:

    Is she wearing an engagement ring?

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      The $64000 Question?

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Maybe they exchanged pledges (“I pledge to warn you if I return from the road with a case of the clap”; “And I pledge that if I OBO you, you will be hired as the dj for the wedding.”)

      Though I do hope that Mama Jacy gets her Donkey wedding.

      • Princess WideStance says:

        At this point Donkey really owes us a wedding.

      • Trainswrecked says:

        It looks like an engagement ring to me, but that could be wishful thinking because I really hope so. The woo stuff has been so dull and samey for a while but a wedding will bring the crazy back to old entertaining levels I think.

        • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

          Please wedding! And then trying to live on Chad’s income.

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

          Like she wouldn’t have that thing plastered all over the internet. C’mon people.

  9. grammarian says:

    how can bewbs be both small and down to your waist?

    • Twitter Banned by Julie says:

      no bra, or Coobie-trained no-lift???

      That’s just a jumble of junk jewelry —NO engagement anything.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      A sequined polyester mini-romper apparently dug out of a middle-school tap corps costume closet is not a good look for a pushing-forty donkey.

      P.S.: DONKEY!

      • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

        Brings back memories of dance recitals at the Fairgrieve School of Dance in Pittsburgh, PA circa 1979. They never let us pick out our costumes from the catalog and we always would up having to wear crap like this 🙁

  10. woo hoo says:

    Is Ali renting her home???

  11. Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

    I’m a fan of CBD oil. Sakara makes yummy CBD chocolates made with cacao.

    *runs and hides*

    That said I don’t think it’s the OMG-cures-everything that the woos think it is. Just chills me out a bit after a long day.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      CBD oil is really helpful for my arthritis pain.

      For heaven’s sake, all marijuana products are legal in Colorado. Why doesn’t Shantitown just go down to the store and buy some CBD oil herself? Fucking woos are so Gregdamn lazy.

  12. Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

    Also regarding Donk, that’s an awfully conventional/non-woo outfit she’s wearing, and that looks like a nice vacation house behind her. Do we know she was traveling with Draino or is there a new, less woo-y wallet involved?

  13. Donkey Schoen says:

    Serious question….could La Phlegm attempt a combover?

    • Ali Shanti's Pubic Lice says:

      She could flip her part. I find that doesn’t help me because I unconsciously flip it back to where it wants to go, but yeah, she could get better coverage. But then she wouldn’t be so brave and so free.

      #somethingbaldingiswakingup

      • Theyrrrrre not great says:

        Her asinine waiting for Godot somethingpleasureableiswakingup is the diametrical opposite if the far preferable adage #woke
        #thingsthatmakeyougohhhmmm

        • donkey schoen says:

          She seems so manic to me. When she wrote and released her book, she seemed to be a lot more centered. I guess after her divorce and the Amazon #1 best seller of natural weight loss for people between the age of 35 and 36 fame wore off, she needs a lot of validation.
          I did notice for the shick/shitsa dance, she did not tag a certain person whose name rhymes with wonkey.

      • donkey schoen says:

        Those are my thoughts too. Personally, I would give it a shot if I were her. It’s a lot more natural and free than Rogaine. The scarf thing is a little played out too. She’s got great hair.

        #freeadvice
        #youreweclomeJLF

        • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

          Copper peptides and jojoba oil helped me. Now I have giant crazy hair again.

          • Woo Detective says:

            Albie, could you tell me exactly what products you used? Thanks!

          • World O' Gluten says:

            Yes, I’d like to know too. I am nearly six months post-weight loss surgery and my hair is coming out in handfuls.

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            Folligen Hair and Scalp Cream, Nioxin shampoo and conditioner for thinning hair, and random pure jojoba oil that I bought at Whole Foods.

            My hair went way thin at the temples after a sudden unintentional weight loss, and using the copper peptide cream every night and doing a touch of jojoba after showering in the mornings, plus the Nioxin products, really helped me.

            My one caveat is that the copper peptide cream is not pillowcase-friendly, so be prepared with some cheap or worn-out pillowcases you won’t mind ruining!

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      What we’re seeing may *be* the combover. #PleasurableRickets

    • Afghani RAINBOW friend (TM) says:

      She’s already a Norwood 3.

      No hope for her. 😉

    • grammarian says:

      does pot cause hair loss? does prozac? do pot and prozac together cause hair loss? because the stoner depressed people seem to have hair loss in common

      • Hot Foot Lurch is Not My Guru says:

        I think past and possibly present eating disorders are the common thread.

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      Her right eye (left one as we look at her photo) looks like it received the “Swiss Kiss” for the New Year. POW!

    • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

      She could cut her hair. I know the “goddesses” all must have long flowing hair because Art, but REALLY.

  14. Afghani RAINBOW friend (TM) says:

    Let’s do an rbd meet up in Costa Rica.

    I’ll bring the pot edibles 😉

    Can’t believe I’ve been reading here over 7 years now. Happy 2017 everyone!

  15. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

    I know “Captain Fantastic” has been brought up by Shanti (she adored it) and possibly discussed in the threads here, but I didn’t read it because I hadn’t seen it. Now I have.

    SPOILERS AHEAD:

    Review: BAD. Really over-simplified and romanticized the life. The kids were annoying and everything so contrived.

    Anyone else see it?

    • Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      Yes, I fucking hated it because the last 30 minutes counter everything we’ve just seen, opting instead to go full-blown, completely unrealistic woo. No surprise the old raunch was bawling her eyes out over this horseshit.

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

        Those kids might as well have popped up out of the bus singing “Let Me Hear Some More Of That Good Time Music” ala Brady Brunch. It was that believable.

        Frank Langella’s performance was the welcomed slap across the face the movie desperately needed. He was terrific!

        • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          Langella has distinguished many a lousy movie. And lord, that production number at the end! I alternated between Brady Kids and memories of Coca-Cola jingles.

          • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

            And don’t get me started on transporting and opening the casket of a 5+ day dead body (as indicated from a phone call to Langella) or the science involved in cremating a person and having their bone turn to fine ash.

            A more likely scenario is the kids would be gagging and puking at the stench of burning flesh rather than singing at their mother’s funeral pyre. Plus the head would no doubt plop off the body and roll to the nearest child’s foot impressing a horror on all their brains forever and ever. Then I guess the family happily pulverizes mama’s bones and skull to get it to that “flushable ash” size.

            And the grand standing at the funeral!

            I hated this movie!

    • Veruca Salt Lick says:

      Unfortunately, I saw this on a date with someone that was friends with a person involved in the filmmaking as a producer or director or some other Hollywood BS. I had to keep my mouth shut. I found the family to be unlikeabke and the story ridiculous. In fact, I thought the idea of raising kids in the woods was borderline abuse.

  16. Fuckyo Nonburn says:

    Sorry, Leah Marie, a flower zit on your subject’s nose and a weed moustache on her lip is not artsy. It’s just bad photography.

    • Nosferatu-tu says:

      Thank you! I noticed this too and thought the weed mustache especially was awful. Made me think of a certain GOMI subject’s green juice ‘stache photos. Ugh. Why would La Scam think this was a good photo to post?

  17. Curling Irons at Dawn says:

    Cat ladies and gents, I went to pick up an endtable I found on Facebook Marketplace (like Craigslist but less creepy) last night and ended up with the table and a rescue Chihuahua. She looks about a year from her white teeth. She wasn’t well cared for. She’s been bred recently and then gotten rid of. She’s scheduled for her spay at our vet (I have three other rescue girls). But her appointments in Feb. I’m worried about her eyes draining. It looks like mucous, not tears. Her eyes are not as pronounced as our other rescue Chihuahua. I know the basement knows all. Suggestions beyond cleaning daily with a warm washcloth?

    Also, while you have your Dear Abbey hat on, I woke up this past week really feeling my age and thinking I look it. I’m 43, but I feel like I should change some things in my daily routine to be and look healthier. I feel like maybe I should be buying better products or add some. I prefer Redkin when I can afford it. My hair is thick like horse hair and my skin and scalp both oily and now dry occasionally for the first time ever. I use Lancome moisturiser and whatever eye cream I can afford. I have the 11s and lines around my eyes. I’m very pale and lighten my hair to take the red out of the blonde. I usually use something in a box
    My hair is shoulder length but I prefer it shorter in a bob to set off my face. I have a very long face. My skin has pink undertones, so I wear cool colors mostly. My lips are always dry and I use lipbalm like some use crack. I get clogged and enlarged pores on my t-zone and back always. It’s a battle I’ve always fought and sometimes in tears. The acne subsided after 30-35, but not the clogged pores and some scarring. I tried laser. Doesn’t work. It just caused red veins around my nose and mouth where they did it most. I have to color my eyebrows so they’re even visible and wear powder foundation with a little bronzer to even out my face and help it to appear as I am nearly invisible I’m so pale (3rd generation American with Scottish immigrant grandparents. Anyhow, I have known a cat lady or two, not many at all, on Facebook, and I’m amazed at how young and fresh and well-groomed they look. They’re older than me but look ten years younger. Any suggestions for me? My eyes are droopy on the sides like a puppydog. So, I try to do things with shadow that make them look bigger and wider. But, I have barely drug store make-up knowledge. I heard exfoliating with a dry brush before showering can help with clogged pours and back and occasional facial acne. I heard that on Bill Maher. Go figure. I don’t ever show my back or get massages because the acne scarring from my teens and twenties is too embarrassing. That’s after laser didn’t work there either. I just want to stop looking puffy and pale and blotchy and dry and oily and saggy around my mouth with visible lines. All without looking like Michael Jackson. Halp! I am clueless and admit it. I welcome advice to dress and groom and feel and appear better. I prefer minimal make-up, but that could be my problem too. Who knows? I just don’t want to look like I don’t take care of myself and don’t have any knowledgeable women to ask nearby. Please save puppeh and me. I’m only two years into my first marriage as something of a very late bloomer. I’d like to look my best because he’s good people and makes me so happy.

    • grammarian says:

      take her to the vet

      — easiest: allergies, put her on allergy meds, it will go away
      — not so bad: simple infection; doggie antibiotic drops for a week
      — worse: injured and infected

      i’ve dealt with the first two with dogs and cats and feared the third

    • grammarian says:

      skincare: ladies here recommended Clarisonic Mia, and it’s awesome

      also, a bar of sulfur soap can be your best friend; buy it online or at the bodega if your local supermarket or drugstore doesn’t have it. kills germs, exfoliates, leaves skin smooth

      also, some lip balm can cause dryness; switch brands. i like the beeswax brand at whole foods

      makeup, i don’t use it; my skin reacts to anything so i don’t go near that stuff, and i still have oily skin long past my expiration date so i don’t even moisturize

      clean bob is always a great look

      • A-Game Content says:

        Looooove the Mia. After my second baby I felt similar to Curling Itons- looked my age for the first time. I started to try to do a multi step skin care regime (Korean? Style but w department store brands) and use a MIA 3-4x weekly. It makes a huge difference in the elasticity, firmness, and tone of my skin, especially around my eyes.

        • grammarian says:

          yes to the mia. the korean stuff, i can’t even think about it; my skin freaks if i go on a trip and don’t have my regular brands of sulfur bar soap and ivory bar soap with me. i do the kiehls clay mask sometimes, and / or a sulfur mask but that is all

    • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

      For the pup, I think the best plan is to try to get her into any vet the sooner the better, especially since she’s a Chihuahua. They seem to have eye issues more than other dogs. If you need something for relief right away, this is a good product to have in your pet first aid kit:

      https://www.amazon.com/Peak-Marketing-Terramycin-Ophthalmic-Ointment/dp/B00063KGUK

      For make-up tips I love reddit: make-up addiction and for skin care I love reddit: skincare addiction. I really like Wayne Goss youtube tutorials as well.

      I’ve gone through so many hair phases with different colors and lengths and age that it always takes me a little while to find my holy grail of hair product with each new phase. I’m currently using (sparingly!) Leonor Greyl Magnolia Oil on damp hair, followed by a dab of Sally Hershberger 24K Superiority Complex scrunched into the ends (bottom ~5″) after it’s blown dry. My hair is fine but incredibly thick, collarbone length and has balayage which has dried it out a bit.

      I agree with grammarian that you should choose a different lip balm. (That’s pronounced “balm” as in LaFlamme, LOL). Some have phenol and other bad ingredients which cause a vicious cycle of needing more balm because you’re drying your lips. Jojoba oil, shea butter and beeswax are good for your lips; alcohol, phenol, menthol (the”ol”s) are bad. You can also exfoliate your lips gently with a soft toothbrush and some vaseline, that makes them softer. I love rosebud salve lip balm, available from lots of beauty supply places.

      Lastly, I think you shouldn’t worry about going for a massage. I think massage therapists have seen. it. all. and for sure whatever skin issues you’re experiencing are not the worst they’ve seen. Imagine the kinds of things they’ve dealt with before and don’t let it put you off! At home, plan a little relaxation evening now and then… I recently started using the TonyMoly cotton masks and I love them. A very inexpensive treat and I swear they refresh my face!

      https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SAT6GVK/ref=twister_B00X3COEXG?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

      • Nosferatu-tu says:

        I just stumbled across Wayne Goss on YouTube and second the recommendation. I’m learning a lot.

        Sorry I don’t have any recommendations for the dog or you. I’m your age and my face ‘gave up’ about 6 years ago. I have chronic pain and rarely go out, so I’ve really stopped taking care of how I look and it shows! All the best; the catladies will look after you.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Lisa Eldridge makeup videos are great for the very pale lady of a certain age.

      Exfoliating is the secret to glowy skin. You can invest in some very expensive thingies or just be cheap like me and use Stridex pads once a week. I am also all about oil cleansing: I use DHC cleansing oil, which is not cheap but lasts forever and is so much easier to get off your face than straight oil because it has an emulsifier in it.

      So here is my skin routine: in morning, wash face in shower with L’Oreal Revitalift cream cleanser ($5 at drugstore), put random moisturizer on. In evening, either do oil cleansing (2x/week) or Stridex (1x/week) or just wash face with warm water. Then random moisturizer plus ROC eye cream with retinol. If something weird happens with skin, put Mizon Snail Essence Cream in pink tube ($7 on Amazon) on unhappy parts of skin.

      Enjoy your new puppy and I hope her eyes get better soon!

      • Bunsy says:

        Oh my god — LOVE DHC (although not that many people have heard of it, I think). I use the cleansing oil and moisturizers and body bar soaps…. great great stuff, reasonably priced.

        I think the main thing, no matter what you use, is to be consistent with it. That, and watch the sun (which you might already be doing).

      • fig says:

        I am agreeing on all counts! Lisa Eldridge is amazing!

        Chemical exfoliation makes a huge difference. If you are concerned about congested pores, following it with basic clays, it helps a lot.

        The important thing about cleansing is not stripping your face, so I also recommend the micellar waters. Or a cleansing milk.

        For moisturizers I recommend oils. Three generations of woman in my family are in love with plain argan oil. I like to slather it on morning and night, but I don’t think that works well with powder foundations in the mornings, so maybe just at night?

        And most important: price point does not mean anything. If you find a cheap solution that works, it does not mean you are not taking care of yourself. Cosmetics is all a huge scam (unless and until it works for you of course.)

        Also, it’s Raclette season in Europe, so let’s eat all the melted cheese!

    • Never the Bride says:

      As an elder stateswoman catlady, I got my best skincare tip right here on RBD. I have not put soap nor cleanser of any kind on my face since someone here recommended “micellar water.” The idea is that is has tiny “micelles” of oil in it that go right to the gunk on your face and gookum in your pores and sucks it out. It also has a light moisturizing quality (I still use a day cream with spf 50). It also removes makeup, although to remove waterproof eye makeup you have to hold the cotton pad on there for a few extra seconds. I have not had a zit since, my sisters say my skin looks more even-toned and glowy (I am fair and pink like you), and my pores look tighter. I also use powder-style foundation and it seems not to collect around my (symmetrical) nostrils nor build up in my pores the way it used to. There are plenty brands, but I order the Bioderm via Amazon. The duo-pack for about $30 replaces makeup wipes, cleanser and soap, and toner, so I consider it a bargain! Thanks again to the (clearly youthful and hip) catlady who recommended this.

    • Tingolayo says:

      I’m always happy to chime in about skincare. I’m even more expired than you are, and my skin gives me no problems at all. I follow the so-called Korean skincare regimen, which can sound complicated but can actually be adapted to whatever works for you.

      Some main points of K-beauty are 1. know what skincare ingredients are and what they do, and pick the ones you need for your particular skin issues, 2. keep your skin’s pH low/slightly acidic– this means no baking soda or foamy cleaners, which are usually too alkaline, and 3. go for a glowing, not powdery, look. This can go against the typical American practice of scrubbing/stripping your skin, going to the high-end department store counters because they’re “the best,” and powdering away all traces of shine.

      My own routine looks something like this, more or less, depending on how my skin feels (and how lazy I feel):

      Cleansing: oil cleanse, followed by low-pH foaming cleanser such as CeraVe (drugstore brand)
      Treatment (in recommended order):
      1. Vitamin C serum (brightening, anti-oxidant)
      2. BHA (beta hydroxy acid aka salicylic acid; clears pores; e.g. Stridex red box)
      3. AHA (alpha hydroxy acid; exfoliates)
      Moisturizing: Hyaluronic acid, or fun Asian sheet mask. Face oils (argan, rose hip, green tea seed) if needed

      Daytime, I add sunscreen, such as the Japanese versions of Biore, Nivea, or Shiseido from Amazon. They are watery and non-greasy; much more pleasant to use than the US versions.

      Some people swear by retinoids, but they’re kinda irritating for me.

      TL;DR: check out Reddit Asian Beauty

    • pink pestilence says:

      sometimes super chapped lips are because of B-vitamin deficiency, so try a nice bottle of vitamins (I like garden of life) and see if that helps after a few weeks.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Well written article! It doesn’t make me like AJ any more than I ever did, but I think I understand him better.

      • Gilly Blake, PowerpussyCEO Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Certainly eye opening. Daulerio still doesn’t want to take responsibility for his lack of journalism ethics or his drug addiction – why didn’t Nick help me? – and the “recovered memory” horseshit wouldn’t have been believable 30 years ago, long before such nonsense had been debunked.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Eh, I can believe someone touched him inappropriately as a child, if for no other reason than the childhood insomnia/chip the size of Gibraltar on his shoulder/drugs and booze/etc. Been all of those places myself.

          But it’s not a get out of jail free card, it’s just one shitty deal in the poker game of life. You can choose to be a survivor, or you can choose to be a victim.

  18. BunnyBingo says:

    Um Jena, the “cement of domestication” has already seeped into your boyfriend’s soul. He’s got an ex and kids.

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