Updated: Jena la Flamme’s Holiday Vaginal Workout

Did I read in the previous post’s comments of how low Judy has sunk in terms of both suitors and gal pals? Let’s sink even lower, shall we?

You’ve seen Jena la Fraud shooot out of her mother’s uterus and into girlfriend Rio de Janeiro. Now feast your eyes on this holiday representation:

jenavajay

Not surprisingly, the illustration accompanies a shill for one Amanda Noelle – do any these asshats ever use their real surnames? – founder of Aphrodite University:

Silent Night, YONI Night…

Women…Your yoni (Sanskrit for vagina, or pussy–not a dirty word anymore!) is the seat of your power. Of your confidence, creativity, and connectivity to all life.

This is the Lost Gospel.

Your pussy is connected to the brain via the pelvic nerve, which branches out from the base of the spinal cord to the cervix.

Your pussy is the “mind of the Sacred Feminine,” or “Lower Brain,” while your brain is the more logical, “mind of the Sacred Masculine.”

We just aren’t designed just to work solely from our heads in the dry old masculine manner.

Without an awakened pussy, women get stuck in their heads, manifesting relationships, businesses, and lifestyles that just don’t align with who they really are.

This leads to depression, insomnia, breakups, breakdowns, and burnout.

Yet when we unify the pussy with the brain at the heart–we can create anything out of pleasure.

That’s why in on January 3rd at 5pm Pacific, I am running a live workshop on setting goals with your Sacred Feminine energy, and I am gonna BONUS just you ladies complimentary access..

Because I want your 2017 to be magical, and for you to come into your sexy goddess superpowers in:

+Your bli$$ness
+Your sacred sexuality
+Your soul purpose
+Your financial freedom
+Your Twin Flame Union/soulmate relationships!

This 90-minute(ish) womb workshop is called New Year’s New Yoni: Manifest a Juicy 2017 With Your Sacred Feminine Power.

Call in your most juicy and successful 2017 imaginable with ORGASM.

Click here to nab your complimentary spot –

http://twinflamesinternational.leadpages.co/new-year-s-new…/

Beloved, I wish you a very merry Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and 2017, and I look forward to seeing you and your sexy yoni in the New Year right here.

XO, Dr Amanda

PS: Join me on January 3rd by snagging your $197 value ticket to New Year New Yoni!

grfiters

Not to worry, Dr. Amanda also shilled for Jena & DJ Deadbeat Dad’s Caca(o) fest tonight in Berkeley:

ayafest

Jena & Sacha, who didn’t see his children for Christmas and clearly has no intention of returning to Switzerland anytime soon, did manage to spend Christmas with patron and fellow bisexual Patrcia Ellsberg, as well as dear Rio:

xmas

pleasurableloafing

rio

#pleasurablegreencard
#childabandonmentishappening

Update: Green Card secured! Jena & Deadbeat are getting OMG! married:

marriagefraud

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63 Responses to Updated: Jena la Flamme’s Holiday Vaginal Workout

  1. grammarian says:

    untreated mental illness

    • So beyond says:

      Completely agree, I also live in the Bay Area so many untreated grifters scamming with their yoni craziness, chocolate orgies, and plain craziness unhealthy forms of self destruction pathetic la Phlegm.

  2. Never the Bride says:

    My hub and son just decided to open our second home to refugees. That sounds bougie but it we mean it. We have five bathrooms here. I’m sure that nobody would complain that the stove is electric.

  3. Dances with Hooves says:

    COMPLIMENTARY access to my own yoni?! Thank you, Doctor!

  4. Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

    These people are so gross. Gross gross gross with their pretentious hippie cocoa “ceremonies”.

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Oh I know. La Fraud appears to have mistaken hedonism for pleasure, and I wonder where in the hell she’ll be ten years from now. On the street, or will Patti E. leave everything to her fellow traveler?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        This group is such sleaze, I feel like the only reason they’re giving the older ladies time of day is to rifle thru their medicine cabinets &/or handbags.

      • Acme Bench Beep Beep says:

        The Chateau in Haarlem is in a trust so lafraud may be hoping for that too. She and mesh actually divorced? Maybe something untoward there, like witness to a bi pole incident or something and it is also hushy…. How can none of her friends goddesses point out that fellow’s #sacredabandonment of his own children is not very sweet #missingswissmister

        • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          Yep, I wonder what Goddess Nisha thinks about the kids back in Switzerland and Deadbeat’s inability to feed them because he’s too busy making druggie music.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            She’s too busy posting righteously about how wrong it is to profit from people who have problems. Like her grift is any different.

  5. ShesJustStupid says:

    How is that joker allowed to fly like that? Look at him. Does that…quiver…of blankets and feather count as one carry on?

  6. Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Fake PhD made recently popular by none other than known child rapist’s buddy Ken Wilbur http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/11/03/6-facts-about-transpersonal-psychology/
    Graduated from Duke in Sexuality Studies
    University of Metaphysical Science (so a coaching course now allows people to call themselves PhD?)
    Amanda Noelle Miller, PhD, received her transpersonal counseling degree from UMS in November of 2011. Amanda is a professional matchmaker and dating/soulmating coach who helps women find their Twin Flame through the Law of Attraction by falling in love with themselves first. She is also an alchemist of aphrodisiacs and organic raw chocolates made to invoke spiritual and romantic love. She provides group and individual coaching, and Aphrodite’s Apprentice Coaching Certification for those who wish to partake in a career as a spiritual matchmaker and/or professional life coach.
    Not enough off for these frauds to fuck.

    • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

      JFA’ing unaccredited (not at all shocking) and “insititution” changes names frequently (to distance from previous unethical behavior?) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unaccredited_institutions_of_higher_education

      • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:
        • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

          That’s quite a scam the unaccredited “Dr.” Noelle has going and is worth a reprint:

          “This rating should actually be zero stars. I contemplated long and hard before making this review (complaint) about Dr. Amanda Noelle of Aphrodite University and the 2015-formed Twin Flames International LLC, who are now located in North County of San Diego, California. The reason is that I really, REALLY, wanted to like her, and to like working with her. If this rating was for her sales ability, it would be 6 stars. Too bad the delivery doesn’t match.

          Despite her seemingly harmless appearance and what she very persuasively says, rather unfortunately, I can only perceive her actions and her (lack of) delivery as cunning, deceptive, unreliable, and compared to fees paid, worthless. She indeed does have good intuitive abilities, but her ethics and accountability need some serious work as she uses them selfishly to take advantage of people and situations.

          I tried very hard during this time to make it worth my money, and unfortunately, she did a “bait and switch” not once, not twice but THREE separate times of which if it were all the switches I would have never agreed, all while never actually delivering tangible real RESULTS.

          Yes, if you are searching public court databases for small claims actions in San Diego, legal action was in process, which then revealed a whole new level of her rather ugly craftiness: deliberate ambiguity in the contract, construed to work in her favor in part or whole, which at the time of purchase in 2014 wasn’t even provided until after the rescinding period expired. Unbelievable.

          Sure, I can see how lack of results could be of my doing, but I participated in the business courses as fully as was possible, despite the class/course filler (some were little more than glorified advertising), very little substance, and less-than-stellar support. Now, if I were the only one, I would of course realize the problem was my own. Further research from many sources, however, has revealed that NO ONE I know of has received the results she promises, where other business schools online that cost much less have hundreds if not thousands of testimonials.

          I took a chance back then, thinking she was just new at what she was doing, and no complaints were found anywhere at the time. So I hope to remedy that here, and help people who are on the fence about hiring Amanda and implementing her services, where I would advise you to RUN as far away as you possibly can. Consider this a warning that you hire Amanda or Twin Flames International LLC at your own risk, and certain peril.”

          No wonder whatever-her-real-name-is is buddies with la Fraud.

  7. LickedRandisCake says:

    I am not a religious person but that doesn’t stop me from being hugely disgusted and offended by that top picture. These people are vile. And think they are so out there and bad asks for using the word pussyfooting over and over. They are just basic, crass and vile. Even a free ticket is too much to pay.

    • LickedRandisCake says:

      God, I hate Kindle’s autocorrect!!!!!

    • bray kin the law says:

      ^^^ THIS ^^^

      a$$holes who mock religious symbols like this think they are being cute ‘n edgy

      they should try holding one of their yanipalooza events in a place like saudi arabia

      • Greg'sWife (literally) says:

        Thank you. It takes a lot to offend me or cause a visceral reaction in me when it comes to these goofballs. I admit though, that disgusting image of Mary really pisses me off. I feel kind of dumb, can’t explain why, and wasn’t going to even comment because to each their own, right?
        It really bothers me in so many ways.

        • dinkle donkle says:

          I feel the same. It takes a lot to offend me and I’m a semi-practicing Catholic all for radical forms of art and expression. I think it’s so offensive because there’s no point to it and also symbolism, woos, have you heard of it? You do not have to visually bludgeon people with your edgelord “art.”

          • Stalker is the New Regime says:

            it’s stupidly literal. I don’t need to see the pee hole, goddam. It reminds me of Orange is the New Black when all the women are like “THERES TWO HOLES???”

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            Edgelords is such a perfect descriptor for these tiresome basics.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      That image not just crude in sentiment, it’s very crudely rendered. Morally and aesthetically offensive. I have that reaction a lot when it comes to the woos and their shenanigans.

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      The traditional iconography of the Virgin of Guadalupe is subtly suggestive of a vulva. Which is completely fitting for an icon of motherhood.

      But then to come along and just make it explicit and tawdry is childishly disrespectful to religious traditions deeply held by millions of people. And it’s at the mental level of a twelve-year-old acting out. Assholes, we all knew that this beautiful art meant to invoke a vulva! Thanks for being ham-handed jerks who don’t understand the power of allusion.

    • Bunsy says:

      I know. I actually am (kind of) religious (Roman Catholic) … and my first thought was — HEY — don’t drag MARY into your nonsense…! (esp at Christmas…) xo

  8. Nosferatu-tu says:

    Did La Fraud borrow that Santa costume from Donk? I bet it hasn’t been washed.

  9. JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

    These people have more fucked up views about gender than the most conservative right winger. Labeling a woman’s brain “masculine” while being unable to use the proper medical term for her vagina is asinine.

    • Stalker is the New Regime says:

      I totally agree. The idea that women just use their masculine head… sickening!

      • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        The gender obsession is totally wack. Grifters like “Dr.” Amanda and nutcase Christina Morassi sexualize women to an absurd extent, while Kc Baker and Nisha Moodley infantalize them. Both approaches are sick and counter productive.

        • Stalker is the New Regime says:

          It’s really bizarre. I think they are so high on their own fumes that they have lost all perspective. They don’t have talent, nobody actually earns any money, nobody works at anything productive. Hell, nobody even cooks (aside from chipping cacao) or keeps a home. When that’s your normal, sex is literally all you have left to measure yourself by.

          To a woo with a yoni, everything looks like an orgy.

          • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            They have nothing to say that’s ever worth listening to let alone pay for. They’re all most qualified for the oldest profession and that’s only because of anatomy, not because of work ethic or talent.

  10. Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker says:

    I started laughing so hard when I read “awakened pussy” that I couldn’t finish.

    I’ll try again in a few minutes.

    #alarmclockpenetration

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      #wokewookie

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      “Without an awakened pussy, women get stuck in their heads, manifesting relationships, businesses, and lifestyles that just don’t align with who they really are.

      This leads to depression, insomnia, breakups, breakdowns, and burnout.”

      Good Lord, how many women out there have sleeping pussies? I’m worried about the future of this country! Should we even allow women to run for office? It’s worrisome!

  11. Tingolayo says:

    Energy Pussy/Big Tampon’s ears must be burning, she’s being rung so hard.

    Wasn’t there a terrible Meshberg poem about crashing against rocks or fucking someone open against rocks? Kadooz to the cat lady who can find it.

  12. Ms. Snarksalot says:

    La Phlegm reports she’s getting married soon! What about the kids?

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I’m guessing they think getting married will allow him to stay in the US easier, but this is not actually the case. Dude is on a tourist visa until his status changes. Enjoy all the paperwork, you goofy fools! If he overstays the six months, he’ll have trouble getting back in. And, yes, the kids. Haven’t seen dad in what? A month? Maybe the mom is like “good riddance.”

      I guess they do benefit from the fact that he doesn’t need to work apparently.

    • Pass the Nachos Please says:

      That INS interview for the green card is sure to be a hoot.

      How did you meet?
      What did you dress up for at Halloween?
      How will you care for his children if they’re in Europe?
      You’re earning income by giving…cacao parties?

      I just can’t with these woos.

  13. Casa No Va says:

    She only seems to hang out around e.t.s while having no idea. I’m thinking she’s not sexual/unpredictable enough to have become the next black dahlia mystery case. and as others said years back, not audacious enough to brand herself as a female Tucker Max.

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