Holibray Woo Roundup!

A can’t miss evening in San Francisco! Surely the greasy gargoyle will be in attendance. Have you gotten your ticket?


Now hold on Danny E.! Peter the Masculine isn’t spending $600 on tickets for Judy & Rain.


Hopefully, Donkey is being comped, as are Jena and every other member of tribe. I see massive fauxto ops!


Sadness in Frisco! Kc Baker, the most narcissistic of the woo grifter goddesses, and hubby David Hassell are pulling a Gwyneth & Chris, right down to the tacky jargon. Kc wrote an endless post to the entire world about their breakup, which I’ve mercifully edited:

My heart aches writing this post.

It’s a deep and challenging one to share.

David and I feel it is time to share with our broader community that we are ending our romantic partnership.

We have been in this process of separation for nearly a year and a half now, and it has been, and continues to be, one we are bringing a great deal of consciousness and consideration to.

It was not a decision arrived at easily because we have a beautiful son together.

And it is led more by my desire and my sense of truth than David’s, which makes it even more challenging.

It feels very vulnerable to share that.

Thank you for being a witness to our loving in various posts and pictures over the years. Though we are shifting the nature of our relationship, and though it is sometimes really challenging, what I can tell you is that our love remains. My hope is that this serve as a guiding light for anyone desiring to uncouple consciously.

Thank goodness! The world can now turn to Kc for advice on how to dissolve romantic partnerships.

Now we know why David was sleazing it up with Mia “Lips” Cara at Burning Man:


Over in Boulder, it turns out Rainbow Michael Haynes and Ali Shanti are still together. Their conscious coupling would explain this Rainbow’s new FB page, Rainbow’s Couch, which will no doubt be turned into a money making opportunity.



They met during a Smellsbergesque eye gazing exercise:

Bottom Video: Miracles follow Jess Johnson wherever she goes!

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97 Responses to Holibray Woo Roundup!

  1. Delicious Bowl of Wali Rahman says:

    Jess looks like a partially-melted mannequin–and Ali Shanti a discarded rawhide. I hope all of their howling at moon during the winter solstice filled their souls with new scams and plenty of opportunities to talk about themselves.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

      Ali, Jena, and Nisha are involved in a major holiday scam right now. Mentor Masterclass asshat Jeannine Yoder wants your email address and wants you to hashtag everything in exchange for FREE videos that are on YouTube. Of course, Yoder is also trying to get you to ante up for the full Mentor Masterclass workshop. These people have no shame.


  2. Ser DonksaLot says:

    Is Rainbow Michael Haynes being held hostage? Because he is wincing his way through that video (-as he is through his year-long ordeal with the Shanties) as though he were a POW.

    • Delicious Bowl of Wali Rahman says:

      Ali Shanti has learned everything she knows about relationships from Al-Qaeda hostage videos.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      Just wanted to post the same thing! That is truly the most unhappy-sounding “I love ya” that I have ever heard. So so so sad. If you didn’t understand English, you would think this is a suicide ‘cry-for-help’ video

      “…that’s not to say that it was all hunky-dory and perfect…(gulp)…we’ve had some struggles…and we’ve gone through a lot of strong growth periods…*I’ve* gone through a lot of strong growth periods with this woman…and it’s our one-year anniversary…(shrugs shoulders slightly, continues in a depressed monotone)…and how blessed are we to have that be on this amazing solstice day…”

      I think Ali doesn’t just fuck these dudes, she totally fucks with their minds. They have a horrible time with her because she’s a bitch, but she is also a master (mistress?) manipulator and convinces these young, probably not very bright, confused losers that them feeling bad is all their fault and that being unhappy is just a necessary “growth period”. Shudder.

  3. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Nice chandelears, Brainblow.

  4. Razzmatazz says:

    Why not just write “he wants to stay with me, but I want to fuck other guys?” Is that vulnerable or sadistic to state publicly?

    • Ali Shanti's Pubic Lice says:

      She does say that in code, though. Ugh, keep it private, you fucking narcissist. “My husband really wants me but I’m over it! But we loooooove each other. I’m so vulnerable because I’m the feminine!”

      Who has the trust-fund money in this relationship? I do not buy that they are both sooooo successful in either tech or love coaching…

    • BunnyBingo says:

      Yeah, “it is led more by my desire” must be the woo way to say you want strange.

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

        Kc Baker, “previously an investment banking analyst and assistant for two US Senators is an international women’s thought leadership & public speaking trainer, speechwriter, and two-time TEDx speaker,” will be performing at The Armory all through the month of January.


    • let us bray says:

      or that he never gave her a clear no to not bang his bros

  5. Acme Bench Beep Beep says:

    Jena burning all that money via free rent and equity in Harlem property and pointess travels could be used to help snowden, or help anyone…

    • Afghani RAINBOW friend (TM) says:

      One of the most dangerous things you can do the days is leak secrets about corruption. Snowden has no chance at a person but beegdahl might get one. And WikiLeaks had never been wrong in ten years of leaking, yet assange is a dead man walking if he leaves the embassy. Meanwhile not many ppl mad that media and dnc worked feverishly to deny Bernie the nomination… And still only barely succeeded. John Podesta walking around with his head up bitching about the election as if he is some upstanding, aggrieved person, assange basically can’t even get fresh air.

      • grammarian says:

        i wonder if snowden hasn’t been working for the us govt all along

      • Afghani RAINBOW friend (TM) says:

        *chance at a pardon

      • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        It’s sad that hacks are the only way we’ll get the truth in many circumstances. Those negatively exposed create distractions to focus on the “alleged” method of how the information was obtained opposed to the actual dangerous information that was exposed.
        I have reserved respect for Snowden, because he could not have released the information any other way and I can’t imagine to know his current financial circumstances but when he aligned with Summit at Sea it made me question his original motive.

        Podesta won’t be walking around free much longer unless he flips on Clinton, which he will, not unlike many former and current in her inner circle. The DNC gave her the election which she lost, she’s no longer protected like she once was. The reach of what Wikileaks exposed and Weiner discovery will not end well for the Clintons, and it won’t happen in weeks or months but within the next few years.

        • Fieierce Mani says:

          Interesting thoughts. I’m more leaning to the clintons just disappear into normal life.

          • Stalker is the New Regime says:

            I agree. And, what Weiner discovery? There was literally nothing there.

            Afghani, I for one am mad that the primary was thrown, especially since we lost the election from that. I wasn’t a Bernie fan but I think he could have won.

          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            I’m not convinced Bernie could have won, though I’m hardly an expert. In my understanding, working class people voted more for Clinton. It was my understanding, correct me if wrong, that it was middle class white people, especially white women, who went unexpectedly for Trump, putting class and race above gender. It seems unlikely that that group would have gone for a socialist Jew.

            In other news, Nate Silver is dead to me.

          • Not! Random! says:

            Ask Russ Feingold and Zephyr Teachout to show you the roadmap for Bernie’s path to 270. It wasn’t there.

        • Not! Random! says:

          Pssh. She lost the election because around 75% of eligible voters weren’t worried enough about a Trump presidency to vote against him. That is and will always be on all y’all.

          • Fieierce Mani says:

            Maybe so, but I also think she didn’t stand in front of much of America to give her message. Obama and Biden have said as much. This is a major lesson in thinking you’re entitled.

            Im going to hate the next four years…but for all that is good, please give me a candidate that I can root for.

          • grammarian says:

            she won the popular vote by three million

          • Woo says:

            This is absurd. She lost because people don’t vote.

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            Three million more people voted for her than voted for Trump. Obviously there were issues with individual state strategies, seeing as Trump won the electoral college.

            Voter suppression in Ohio and North Carolina were also part of the picture.

            I don’t think she was a great candidate, nor did she run a great campaign, but the margin of her popular vote victory was unprecedented for a candidate who lost the electoral college.

          • Fieierce Mani says:

            People! We live in a republic! She did not speak to the majority of the electorate…period. Until we change to the popular vote, it doesn’t matter. She wasted time in places she was already winning.

          • Slick says:

            Why am I not shocked that you’re all fans of avowed Socialist Bernie Sanders? A loser who has literally never had a real job in his life. Yeah, bumming off everyone else is so cool. Ironic since you rightfully shit on Donkey’s head for the exact same thing. Bunch of hypocrite clowns

  6. Afghani RAINBOW friend (TM) says:

    I don’t care about any of these grifters, but want to say — hope everyone here has a great Christmas or Hanukkah and finds what they’re looking for this time of year.

    Luxurious caulk for everyone!

    • Fieierce Mani says:

      2017 caulk will be amaze!

    • Nosferatu-tu says:

      2017 caulk. Just great. Very stuff. (Seriously, I lol’d at the luxurious caulk. Thanks, AFghani)

      Merry Christmas to all of the basement.

    • Stalker is the New Regime says:

      Right back at ya! I hope the sun comes back for everyone!

    • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

      Happy first night of Hanukkah! We just lit candles and are going to make spice cake.

      Then we’re watching the original recipe Grinch.

    • grammarian says:

      happy hanukkah, merry xmas, happy new year, and jesus fucking christ i hope carrie fisher will be ok

  7. BunnyBingo says:

    Barf. Happy Holidays and Frango mints for all.

  8. We are Never Breaking Up says:

    What’s the status of her relationship with “I love you Rain”? They do not post photos of each other publicly. He doesn’t acknowledge her crazy and random FB comments. He seems to keep a very low social media profile. And we KNOW that’s not her style.

    If you are involved with someone I think it’s pretty normal to take photos of things you do together. Especially around the holidays. Not every minutiae thing like Julia likes to do. But simple everyday things, like hosting a family/friend dinner etc.

    What’s in it for her to continue this non-relationship? It seems so odd because Julia loves to over share every damn thing about her boyfriends ( I want to forget that mutual maturation shit she posted on IG).
    If she is the rebound chick, she is holding on for dear life to make this ‘relationship’ a thing.

    • Fieierce Mani says:

      All great questions…I think the answers are in the non information posted. She thinks more of the relationship than he does. Relationship being relative.

  9. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Lying donkey who lies is gonna get coal in her hoof warmer …

  10. let us bray says:

    in terms of hair style, i understand the concept of a man bun

    but what is the term for the bun located on TOP of a man’s head?

  11. Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones, & Ghosted Book Deals says:

    Julia Allison (changed her profile picture to a primate in a Santa costume sitting on her lap) followed by:
    Just donated $750 on behalf of myself and friends (including Jess Johnson, Ro Palomo, Rain Phutureprimitive and Megan Kerins) to the Refuge for Wildlife in Costa Rica, which helps monkeys and other wildlife that were electrocuted due to uninsulated power lines and transformers.

    If you are looking for a last minute place to send a Christmas donation, definitely consider this one …

    Thank you to Doug Ingerson for the recommendation!
    Bet the primate in the picture met with a power line before being shameless exploited by Julia Allison, twice.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Fund total = $1,140 … & Donk is responsible for $750 of that?
      Lying donkey who lies is gonna get coal in her hoof warmer …

    • Fieierce Mani says:

      Just the fact that she is pontificating the donation and the amount, then tags on others to the cart is just spectacularly narcissistic. On the other hand, the phuterprimative brand and talent seems legit. His work looks amazing for the audience he seeks. If I were Rain, I’d be never the donkey post haste. I don’t understand why he hasn’t cut this off by now.

      • Jenna's Lions says:

        Yes! Exactly. It’s so gross when people broadcast the amount they donated to anything. I’m all for raising awareness but don’t say the amount. It’s obnoxious. Also, just when I started to wonder if the Bank of Peter Baugher cut her off, since she’s not flaunting the flights and trips and outfits and OMG YOU GUYS I’M A REAL DEAL SAN FRANCISCAN fauxtoshoots as much, she reminds us all that no. She spends her days partying and Facebooking AND has $750 lying around to donate to charity. Thanks to daddy.

        • Fieierce Mani says:

          Right? Plus post a pic of yourself with a domesticated monkey in a Santa suit at the same time you hitch your wagon to a cause for the same species… you basic idiotic asshole!! I hate her so much.

    • Nosferatu-tu says:

      Rain Phutureprimate. Dance, monkey, dance.

    • donkey schoen says:

      The attention seeking donation post combined with the monkey profile pic is so very, very special.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Ain’t it just? But the post between those two, of our FLOTUS who has been referred to as an ape, that’s effen cringeworthy tone deaf even for ditch pig fuckwit special-needs Donk.

        What’s she signaling there, naming a select few who don’t respond at all? Are they pissed at her, or avoiding her, so she is sucking up to them in particular? I could see that w/ the MK gal …

      • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

        It’s extra.

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        Great work

      • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

        She reminds me of those people (when I used to attend Church) who would discuss how much they put in the collection plate, obnoxiously thinking that bribing your way to heaven twas a thing.
        I can’t help but think these morons are the CR version of burning man who stole electricity causing the animals harm in the first place. Aren’t they spending NYE in CR together? Scheme juices…
        As for FLOTUS and Oprah, who past the age of 12 says “top 5 role models?” I could see admiring someone’s decision on a certain topic or being inspired by someone’s specific action but to worship anyone is creepy as adult. Let’s not forget that FLOTUS sold out children in federal food programs to Monsanto & Oprah sold out to them as well putting an ethic family in a Monsanto ad in O Magazine-which certainly contracts the woo’s organic living.

    • Ali is MOOP says:

      How does cash help electrocuted animals?
      Electrocute, transitive verb
      1: to execute (a criminal) by electricity
      2: to kill by electric shock

      • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

        Most people use “electrocuted” to mean “injured by electric shock” as well. I don’t, because I am also a stickler, but since there is no word for “injured by electric shock” I can see how the lexical creep happened.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          It’s a portmanteau of electro & execution & I *know* this but I always forget the whole of the latter half & misuse it too, when meaning shocked. You wouldn’t know it to look at me, but I’ve been electrocuted at least twice.

          Our writerly writer who’s an author at BOOK more or less parrotted the fundraisers who are ‘rescuing, rehabilitating and releasing these animals’.

          • Albie Quirky Sending Hugs says:

            I think it’s lovely that this organization is helping animals injured by power lines.

            Of course since charity begins at home, maybe Judy could have set aside $30 for getting Lilly a damn bath.

          • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Microphones & Ghosted Book Deals says:

            But why this specific group of animals? She doesn’t do anything unless it serves her some purpose. Blindly throwing money at things she’s never mentioned before or won’t ever mention again is her *tell*

          • Fieierce Mani says:

            Because she has a picture with her and said animal…duh.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            On a fundraiser that conveniently does not list donor’s & amount$, Donk is most generous w/ Dad$er’s $$ — I think THAT’s why this specific group of animules.

            She’s lying.

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      I will never not think of the Jeff Koons sculpture of Michael Jackson and Bubbles when I see this fucking pic. (Google it and tell me I’m wrong. The resemblance is uncanny.) I had the pleasure of seeing it IRL in San Francisco years ago, no idea where it is now. Anyway, OT thank you Winchester for the kind words on previous thread where I ranted about my daughter needing surgery when she was a baby and her subsequent scars and how I don’t feel sorry for Noodle’s “brave” c-section scars. I agree with what your mom said.. Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/ Happy Festivus, catladies. Greg bless us, every one.

  12. Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

    Donkey changed her profile fauxto over 12 hours ago and has received only six likes and during a day when everybody is checking their FB accounts.

    This is social media success!!

    • Not! Random! says:

      Maybe because it is a truly hideous photo. Can you imagine the stank emanating from that chair?

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Ah, two chimps in Santa outfits, back in 2007, at the College Humor Christmas party. She’s wearing the slutty Santa outfit that cuntbunnies immortalized with the donkey shadow.

      What a perfect way to demonstrate her concern about treatment of primates.

  13. Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) says:

    16-year-old Judy Albertson weighs in on Tucker Carlson’s mistreatment of Teen Vogue writer Lauren Duca:

    “HOLY SHIT. You’ve got to be F–KING KIDDING ME. How is this misogynist asshole still on tv?????? WOW.

    Lauren did fantastic. Yes! Women can care about fashion AND politics, Tucker, you condescending turd. Unreal.”


    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      “Turd?” Pot calling kettle. And speaking of which, where is our scatological Pa, JP, at this, the most wonderful time of the year?

    • Midwestern Verve Clicquot says:

      What a stupid thing to be so angry about on Christmas Eve. Chill out, Donkey.

  14. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Also lol at the freedom concert Donk is promoting:

    • Razzmatazz says:

      Celebrities did so much good during the election, you know? Let’s keep that going. Could they all film some Funny Or Die sketches about raising the minimum wage while they’re all together, that would be helpful.

    • Midwestern Verve Clicquot says:

      You’d think someone who lists “journalist” in her bio would find fact-checking habit by now.

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