Updated: PR Maven Julia Allison Must Have The World’s Tiniest Rolodex

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nickanddick

Once again, Lizzie Grubman needs your help:

epicfail

Any guesses as to the “we” in “we’re looking”?

Donkey’s “many” clients must be so impressed with her contacts in/knowledge of the Bay Area. She snaps her fingers and top flight reporters, stylists, photographers, founders come running! Maybe she could throw a bone to former supermodel Debbie Seltzer?

debbie

debs-2

An encore performance: http://lookmodelagency.com/portfolios/devin-stetler

Update: You can’t be an epic PR goddess 24/7! Any BFF up for cultural tourism in a “third world” country?

thirdworld

http://www.balispiritfestival.com/

127 COMMENTS

      • Sorry, Brayella! I just discovered supermodel Debbie Seltzer’s portfolio and wanted to work her into the post. And hey, isn’t Donkey’s maw going gape galore in the picture with whatshisname from Wired?

        • Oh no prob, I thought it was funny. The other one shows stark white albeit slanted-looking top teeth & gnarly little bottom teeth of a tots different shade.

  1. Julia is involved in this scam:

    http://neurohacker.com/

    She posted about them recently. Wim Hof is a “daredevil” (per Wikipedia) famous for submitting his body to extreme temperatures for extended amounts of time; likely they are trying to contract him to endorse this product.

    The “Stanford neuroscientist” is likely Andrew Hubermann, who is somehow involved in this scheme (he’s listed on their page). Also listed on the page is Zachary Stein, who received an Ed.D from the Harvard Graduate School of Education. This is probably why she’s been posting nonstop about education and research. They’re yoohoos. Another person, Elias Ladopoulos, has listed himself as “rebel.” Another yoohoo.

    Their page features a lot of names which should be familiar to the basement. In fact, there’s a ton of people she’s probably yoohooing simultaneously on that page.

    • I knew I smelled a fraud, she had me at Stanford neuroscientist.

      • I mean, FWIW, he is actually a Stanford neuroscientist and has accomplished a lot (or at least seems to have accomplished a lot).

        • So did the fraud that started my former company, also OMG Stanford. But he stole a patent application, got sued, lied to employees and lied to FDA to get a medical device approved and the executives (also culpable) got convicted and he’s out free to repeat. Yeah Stanford.
          Also, fuck off Julia.

    • Typo on their website’s homepage: misspelled their own company’s name. Tell me again how to improve my brain.

      Also, so does anybody else find this scary?
      “We believe that it is now both possible and necessary for human beings to dramatically upgrade our individual and collective capacities and safeguard the wellbeing of all.”

      • You know she’ll alert them of the problem and take credit as a means to force herself into a “job”
        I’ve never seen so many people listed on a website before and none really of any importance or significance to this latest shill.
        Gawd, these people LOVE their own images more than anything else.

    • Besides a “rebel,” their staff includes a sorceror, a world centric warrior, a kokoro spirit, a smooth operator, a sharpshooter, and a culinary artist. We are not white suburban marketing dorks, we are WARRIORS.

      You’re selling a $150/month vitamin pill. JUST SHUT UP.

      • That’s a MAJOR red flag, anytime someone has to make up a nonsensical title=no discernible talent or skill set. I feel the same whenever I see the word “branding” which again as been misappropriated by the woo.

        • I know what you mean.

          When I hear the words “life coach” I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction.

          • Please add “entrepreneur,” “goddess,” and “transformative” to that flee-from-the-source-in-terror list.

    • Lol it’s a nootropic stack. Meaning it’s in the intersection between diet pills hucksters and digital nomad millionaire marketers.

      Buy our snake oil! Promised to boost your mind, slim your waist, and longer sex!

  2. If she wants to sound impressive why not drop the name of the (OMG) Stanford neuroscientist? Oh Donkey always so impressed with things that aren’t impressive. She have any idea how much fraud is developed at OMG Stanford?

  3. Bashful Debbois has removed the creampuff shots — I wonder what donkey who never reads here alerted him to RBD’s discovery? An excuse to call dudes who dodge ya, Donk — you’re welcome.

  4. Oh Derpin. He has a few angles but he needs to bulk a bit so his head doesn’t look so Easter Island Stetlers.

    I’ve seen him in person, he’s got a pretty decent vibe, decent as in normal.

  5. aw i have a soft spot for devin! i mean, this is better than healing chef, right? but yes, consume more milkshakes and less burned brussels, debbie!

    • I look forward to hearing Donk’s very casual “my ex, a model (why yes, I did date a male model! I am a model myself after all! How do you make an income?)”

      Speaking of male models: the other day I googled a local politician because I met him at an exhibition and was impressed by the fact that he was obviously slightly drunk BUT still chose to visit an art museum, all by himself. I strongly dislike his politics but I know he is smart (classical philologist). So when I googled him, I discovered there is a German male model, presenter and football freestyler of the same name as this 63-year-old classical philologist and member of the parliament. It delighted me disproportionately.

      Neither of these two guys of the same name evoke Easter Island, BTW.

      • Speaking of her modeling career, that Coobie incident might have been THE most bizarre moment in Donk’s unseemly existence. Just bonkers!

        coobie

        • FANS.

          Why is she always lurching forward or to the side? Is it some trick to try to look thinner/less stumpy? The outtakes from the fauxto shoot were just insane.

          • What’s wrong w/ you, Tingo?! In that very candid fauxto, self-appointed hoax-donkey Julia Allison is just on the verge of being doubled over in laughter — no one, & I do mean NO ONE, is anywhere near as relentlessly hysterical w/ giddy fits of laughter as our Julia is when she’s working her kraft!

            I wonder how often Coobie Bras responded w/ “Sorry, no international shipping”

        • WHY ARENT THOSE POWERFUL MOMS LINING UP TO MARRY OFF THEIR FANTATHTIC SONS TO A BRAYVO PERSONALITY.

  6. If I can go back to the previous post: does Dadsers NOT support Trump? I have no idea, but I seem to recall Donkey braying about how Republican Republican Republican her Dadsers is, so? While I don’t know much about the current political situation in the US, I know there are some Republicans who oppose Trump, but is Dadsers among them or what? Wouldn’t it be strange for Donk to go publicly against Dadsers’ chosen candidate? Or is it some teenage rebellion?

    • Dadsers would be unlikely to support Trump. As JP says, Mark Kirk is not on the Trump bandwagon, and we know Dadsers thinks Kirk is the bee’s knees. There are a lot of old-fashioned suburban Republicans who are not supporting Trump at all.

  7. One a.m., exhausted, just getting to bed but wanted to note that not a single person liked or responded to Julia’s query about Bay Area reporters. She even tagged three journalists, including Nick Bilton, and all she got was crickets.

    • JFAing myself to add that Donkey received a couple of predictable responses from the woos re the epic videographer request – how many times has she asked this fucking question?

      • The Julia M. suggestion should have been a given for her since she is part of the same tribe, and has actually produced some decent videos.

        Donkey just posted this to suggest she actually is working. Doubtful that anyone needing a documentary video produced is working through someone like A Donkey who has no experience in this field.

        • I hear you but who is she alerting re alleged employment? Her parents? Us? Chad? Taylor Greason? Kristin Thorne? Most of the woos aren’t working in any real sense so they wouldn’t give a fuck; they’re biggest concern would be Dadsers as potential mark. I just find it so bizarre, even more bizarre that NO ONE responds, not even one thumbs up or “best of luck here.”

          • All of the above. And herself. Delusional people have to convince everyone, including themselves, that they’re “important” and “doing things.”

            Most of the woos don’t have real jobs, but they have some pretty solid grifts going, and have branded themselves as “pleasure coaches” or “consciousness shamans” or whatever. So while this tribe of dorks might not be self-supporting, only Julia is non-self-supporting PLUS lacking any vocation whatsoever.

            “Lover. Rebel. Dancer [hee]. Friend.” isn’t a job. “Love coach” or “Social pleasure alchemist” aren’t either, but they might fool some naive hicks once in a while.

          • a former JIML who is a pig in so many ways has grifted himself into being a professional organizer for people too dim, wasted, ill to organize themselves. his talents consist of rearranging the clutter and maybe wiping down the counters.

          • Former JIML got laid off from her job in January, and – last I heard – still wasn’t doing anything. But oh, she loved to tell me about how “busy” and “productive” she was. Typically, this was measured in how many “meetings” she had.

            People who are actually productive don’t need to talk about how productive they are, because they have a body of work to show for it. People who are actually busy don’t need to tell the world how busy they are, because they are too busy to be focusing on what other people think of them.

          • Former JIML has been unemployed and supported by her family for most of her adult life, yet is “very busy” “working on a book.” It’s the perfect scam because who can prove that she’s NOT writing a book (unless one is A Donkey and one fails very publicly to write said book)?

    • I actually have a theory on this. Facebook isn’t showing this post to people in their feed, for a million different reasons, some of which are the fact that Donkey has so many purchased followers.

      Now granted, I’m sure Nick Bilton wouldn’t be all over this post in the first place, but I don’t wonder if Julie’s social-media-thuctheth caused Facebook to basically dump her posts into no-man’s-land.

      • You mean the FB algorithm is smarter than a scheme-juice filled
        Occasional FB poster??

        Maybe Randi to the Zee can fix that!!
        (Did Randi move to West Village? Or is that just a crash pad/mansion?)

      • Nope, because I follow her on my stealth account and this crap showed up in my feed. Unless it contains a picture, most of SJD’s posts receive few responses, usually no more than six. Wali, in some sort of incarnation, is one of those half-dozen dummies.

  8. Also her scoldy video post about fashion magazines. Posted by someone who force-poses for every picture and retouches the hell out of all her images to appear thinner and taller.

    • 1) That video is bullshit. Magazines make the money they need to produce the magazine and then make some profit, too (as companies are meant to), by selling ad space. That’s how print media works. How is this shocking to anyone? Why would anyone think this is unfair or immoral? Would the people who like this video and its message prefer to live in an authoritarian communist state in which magazines are funded and produced by a central state organisation?

      2) I have never come across a group of women more obsessed with and committed to conventional standards of female attractiveness than Julia and the woos. They are all about sucking your tummy in, standing on tiptoes, sticking out your tits, displaying your arse in skimpy bikini bottoms, doing the pouty duck face.

      A great example of this was in the video that Jules took at BM a few years ago that was posted here recently. In it, the camera moves around a circle of Camp Mystic-eers. When it lands on über-woo Jennifer Russell, she mistakenly thinks J is taking a picture and immediately twists herself to the side, tenses her legs, thrusts her boobs out, tucks her chin a little lower and makes doe eyes at the lens – all in a matter of seconds. So much for authenticity!

        • I’d like to see these fucking hypocritical dipshits wear anything that isn’t horribly insensitive to other cultures and religions or anything that covers +30% of their body and still feel speshul and thuper empowered.

          Nope, never gonna happen. Basics in bindi and shitty steam punk-y stripper clothes for life.

  9. There is something too soft about Debbie’s tummy in the shirtless photo. I mean, it made me write “tummy” instead of abs or six-pack.

    Man, do I dig penis veins…or whatever we call them.

  10. Yesterday she posted a link with a video about African-American social dance. Bitch, remember when you were one of the millions to appropriate the “Harlem Shake”? Fuck off.

  11. will never understand how the same folk who don’t have a pot to pee in casually discuss how perhaps they’ll swing by a festival in Bali or someplace else halfway around the world, as if money is no object

  12. The latest from the truth-telling LOLyer! Tho authentic – nothing was staged here!

    ‎Emerald Peaceful GreenForest‎ to Ali Shanti
    4 hrs ·
    Question for you Ali Shanti as a business woman who has been through the process of bankruptcy – how did you know when it was time to make that decision – what inspired you to choose that route – what inner work did you have to navigate in order to move through that process and what are the “signs” in a business that would indicate that it’s time to contemplate that course of action? And did your bankruptcy actions discharge tax debt in addition to credit debt?

    Ali Shanti This is a BIG question Emerald Peaceful GreenForest! I’d be open to doing some sort of an interview with you that you could post and share because I think the answers could help many.

    Emerald Peaceful GreenForest YES!!

    Emerald Peaceful GreenForest Let’s do that!!

    Ali Shanti Okay, I’ll PM you to schedule.

    • Emerald Peaceful Green Forest used to be known by a different woo name, Amethyst Wyldfyre, and she’s been involved in other dirty dealings with Mother of the Year Skankatron.

      • I guess you start by “Can I call you M?”

        Seriously, the woo names irk me to no end.

        It is just another desperate attempt at reinventing themselves without going through any experience that would make you reinvent yourself naturally or the hard work of shedding and old personality and embracing a new one because you just have to.

        As usual with the woos, they think that by doing something on the outside, it will have a profound effect on the inside, which is a completely ridiculous idea.

        It’s like thinking I am going to turn into Einstein because if I just start wearing baggy sweaters.

        • Apparently Emerald’s reinvention consists of aping Shanti’s “heal the intergenerational divide” by getting your hands on your parents’ retirement savings. And we’re supposed to believe her exchange with Skankatron re bankruptcy is legit? Could these lowlife confidence men be any more transparent? (Note my use of woo term!)

  13. Interesting that she didn’t tag Nisha in that “goddess” roundup. Is she pissed that Nisha’s willing to engage with the catlady basement?

      • Haha you give Julia way too much credit, thinking of anyone other than herself.

  14. If she ever does follow through with this trip to Bali, I hope she enjoys the long flight, approx 20 hours! I feel extremely sorry for any passengers, especially those seated next to her, and can you imagine what a hose-beast she will probably be to the flight attendants by half-way through that flight?

    I’ve flown from Sydney to London with only a fuel stop on the way, approx 24 hours total and also from Los Angeles to Sydney with an emergency fuel stop on the way total approx 18 hours and it is pure hell, just being stuck on a plane that long. If I had had someone like Donkey on the flight I might have opened a door and thrown myself out of the plane.

    • Forcing everyone to sing songs? I would have seriously thrown something at her if I was on that flight.

    • I imagine she will place her filthy stained shoes (whatever is the current iteration of the nasty fake nude YSLs of yore — probs those velcro-strapped wedgie-sneakers) on the aisle and photograph and post them for posterity.

    • Christ I hated flying to Singapore, business class or bust. Economy seat will make you suicidal.

      • On a return flight from Singapore with a brief stopover in Germany, I was put in a middle seat (traveling for work and someone had booked the flight for me). I was crying on the inside!

        I asked a flight attendant if there was any way I might move, and she was kind enough to relocate me to a seat with no one next to me. Flying for so many hours is a completely surreal experience.

        • My catman screwed up and forgot to confirm our seats for a 13 hour flight from Asia, and we both ended up getting assigned to middle seats in different sections of the plane. I was trying really hard to keep my cool and not be enraged at him. But then he ended up wedged in between a chatty sorority girl and a 350lb guy, and I just felt awful for him.

    • Remember LITERALLY years ago when Julie would wear her Toddlers & Tiaras PINK ( or black ). velour track suit??? She was a klassy Manhattan gurl ??

      I hate that I remember this…

    • Also!!!

      I flew China Air non-stop Jfk>pek in coach BUT the duck was magnificent so
      I cheered up & slept contentedly with my fellow Comrades.

  15. I flew London to Melbourne. 26 hours with stops in Singapore and Abu Dhabi. Kissed the ground when I got off. Probably because of fatigue and also getting out of London.

    • newark – narita – sydney – auckland. that’s the last time i take the long way around the world for the sake of price.

      • Wow, that sounds awful. So do the other flights.
        I’m with SJS, I wanted to kiss the ground. I think my max flying time is 5 hours before I start inwardly chanting to myself “I want to die, I just want to die” over and over.

  16. I honestly feel like I can be fuckwad Julie’s dentist by now since a I’ve never in all my life seen so much of the insides of a person’s mouth.

  17. i am very jealous that julia and these woos can just go wherever the f they want. currently planning a disney (i know i know but ive got a kid!) 9 months in advance bc shit’s expensive and saving money is hard etc. i often wonder what i would do if i were in julia’s position– like what do you do with all that free money and free time? i’d like to believe that i would use the resources and time wisely, still have a job (but maybe just part time), hang out with my kid more, get a bigger place and have room for chickens and a garden.

    • I’m with you and this is why I delurked about 2 years ago. Julia is a waste of air, and is living pretty fabulously by doing NOTHING. When she was in NYC, fine, and had some semblance of a writer job. She was annoying and gross but seemed like she worked. But then she clomped into SF with all the entitlement of being a “real” SF resident where my friends and I barely make it working hard at real jobs and I just had to jump on the snark train. She’s one of many, unfortunately in SF, NYC, LA and elsewhere who live off ex husbands, daddies, and old rich men and think they’re artists or healers or philanthropists. And she doesn’t even have the shame/self awareness to admit how privileged she is. There is no way she’s just a good saver and has some well performing conservative investment portfolio. Daddy pays for everything, and she has the cajones to call out her mom for letting her get suspended from school, thus ruining her bright future at an OMG Ivy. It’s disgusting to me and I hoped she would have gotten her ass handed to her when the Airbnb thing happened, but no. She flitted off the Marin Area of SF and all is well in her world. Can’t stand it.

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