Updated: Malodorous Woos: Donkey & “Tribe” Stink Up Encinitas

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Award-winning Tribune Media Services columnist Julia Allison gets her aya on during Jess Johnson’s July kegger:

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Jess, Ariel White, and Michael Hrostoski meditate – melding minds and changing the course of history:

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Post meditation, relax in the …

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As Jashssss caterwauls away, Michael Ellsberg’s batshit insane former piece, Amber Hartnell, looks on:

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The Encinitas experience wouldn’t be complete without a rap tribute from the new Eminem, Jonathan Budd, CEO & Founder at Empowered Entrepreneurs Inc. After claiming that we’d all be drug addicts if it weren’t for Jess Johnson’s music, the Buddsters really gets going:

Fuck the Son of Sam
It’s time for the Encinitas clan
To reclaim the throne of man.

Always so goddamn high on their own fucking fumes.

Update: Judging from the comments on Jess’s FB page, you’d think the Buddsters shitty rap was Joni Mitchell’s “Rainy Night House” or Beethoven’s 7th Symphony. #pleasurablestendhalsyndrome

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Over on Donkey’s FB page, she’s still busy getting back at Dadsers and Momsers for canceling her country club birthday party:

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Aw, shoot! Donkey deleted her crowdsourcing post re: contacts at Google, etc., and there was some interesting banter going on between her and other folks about Randi Zuckerberg. That’ll teach me to save the funny stuff immediately.

98 COMMENTS

  1. I swear to Cthulhu I what have no idea what any of these events are about. What is it that these losers DO there all the time?

      • *I meant “I STILL have no idea what these events are about.” I was too WTF to type good. Also, TL;DR alert, this just happened:

        In the kitchen (and elsewhere around here), there are pull-out windows, if that’s the correct term. You can pull out the window just a little bit, in the vertical direction, or you can open it as wide as you like, in the horizontal direction. I’m probably describing it stupidly, but hopefully you get the gist of it. About an hour ago I was washing the dishes (no freshwater pearls!) and a bug (not a nasty kind, thankfully, otherwise it might have been worse) flew into the sink and under the water. I freaked out and wanted to get it out of the room NOW, so I took it in my hand (not in a yellow plastic glove!), rushed to the (slightly opened, in the vertical direction) window and tried to open it (wide, in the horizontal direction). Having only one hand for this, because in my other hand I held the bug, I got the window in the dreaded position where it CANNOT be opened in EITHER direction, nor can it be properly CLOSED. This has happened before and it can be fixed but not by me, and I’ll be alone here till tomorrow evening. If a storm comes during the night, I’m probably screwed.

        On the plus side, I took the bug to another window and threw it out. Whew.

        • I feel that only Chekhov or Borges could describe this situation somehow.

          At least you are safe from insects if not precipitation!

          • Heh! Thank you for the well wishes. I have survived the night!

            Morroccan, that sounds HORRIFYING. Hornets really scare me to the point of mild phobia, even though (or because?) I have only seen one a couple of times in my life and they never harmed me. I think I have also heard they actually aren’t as aggressive as wasps, for example. Still, the idea of being trapped in a room with a hornet makes me hyperventilate with sheer terror.

          • I spend a lot of time bug wrangling at work, since I do a lot of outdoor education, so I was very brave with the hornet when it was alive. Now I can’t even bring myself to look in the window and may have to ask one of my kids to dispose of the evidence before I open the window again. It is a million degrees out here today so it isn’t a problem yet.

        • I had a hornet in my kitchen yesterday and I was able to throw the window over the sink open (mine are simple, uncomplicated sorts of windows, Helena) and swat him out with a dish towel. I slammed the window down and then noticed that the screen was closed, so I basically trapped him and couldn’t open the window to help him because he was now “as mad as a hornet”. I felt really bad the whole time I cooked dinner, watching my hornet battle to get out of his hot, narrow window prison.

        • Yeah, I don’t get it either. How many times a year do unwashed people need to meet and do nothing?

        • Oh! Yes! I know these windows but have only seen them in Europe. They’re genius!

          I’m sorry, I forgot the rest of the story. Was that too enthusiastic? I just really rate those windows.

    • 1. Take drugs
      2. Engage in orthorexia
      3. Pretend to meditate and show off yoga moves to prove how spiritual they are.
      4. Discuss unrealistic utopian fantasies
      5. Pretend they mastered the art of fucking beyond what mere mortals have ever done before
      6. Adopt shallow and superficial aspects of ethnic religious and cultural practices for shits and giggles
      7. Call parents for money

        • I think it starts with 7 and ends with 7

    • I’ve been there. Listeners tend to look away from her and look towards each other, towards the ground, towards the sky, praying it will all be over soon.

  2. she actually looks nice in those pics

    there appears to be a microphone on a stand in the pic of small group in tent

    perhaps there will be a podcast or similar that can be downloaded for those of us who could not attend

    for a nominal fee, of course

    • She really does look fresh and lovely in that second photo. Her smile and laugh seem so natural and unforced. I am sure she is a delightful and supportive friend and the rest of you are all just jealous of her success. If you want what she has you need only go out and find your own untalented DJ and crowdsource a bra spokesperson gig from your local car wash.

      • Between the chiclet teeth and uncanny valley facial features (let them serve as a warning to anyone else considering cosmetic procedures in their 20s), it’s actually pretty sad that this is as natural as it gets for her now.

        This is mean, but she looks like a 40-year-old woman trying to wear a 22-year-old’s sliced-off face. She really does.

      • There’s something about the top row of teeth that looks weird to me in that second photo. I don’t think she looks good at all there, IMHO..

        • I think it was supposed to be sarcastic because she looks the opposite of fresh and relaxed. I paused at that photo because her eyes look so dead and her face looks so strained. The forced laugh looks more like a grimace.

          • Fer-real! Also love how even at her most “natural,” the white eyeshadow remains on the menu — top pic; not to be confused with Bottom Picture ™. Someone must have advised her, in the 90s, that this one weird trick would really make her eyes POP, and she has adhered to it ever since in all incarnations.

    • Really? You think?

      My first thought was that she has truly entered woman-hood. There is no girlishness or youthfulness to her, which is not a problem normally. But her childish behavior kind of relies on her looking young and “Well, I guess she hasn’t learned yet…”

      What I mean is, woman-hood is beautiful because most women are sane. And Donkey is not. Her face says, I have spent enough years on this planet to have earned wisdom. But her behavior says, I will foot-stomp, lie, manipulate, cheat and behave like a spoiled child so I can get what I want. In short, she is narcissistic, childish and emotionally immature. And not very womanly at all.

      • Added thought: the disconnect between how she looks and how she acts may make it harder to fool and manipulate people. Don’t you think?

        Because they’ll look at her and expect to encounter a mature woman, instead they’ll come across a wheedling, ingratiating over-the-top, hysterical child and, if they have any sense, back away slowly. Right?

        Or am I overestimating the people Donkey meets. Yeah. I’m overestimating.

        As you were.

      • You make a really good point. It’s why her FB pic with the Esalen hula hoop crew looks particularly awful. Julia is rapidly approaching middle age yet pretending to be a girlish 20-something. Never ever ever a good look.

        • Donkey’s wardrobe has pretty consistently been for someone 5-10 years younger than her. In her late 20s in NYC, she was wearing prom dresses. Now she’s trying to dress like a Free People festival chick when folks like Alea Rain and Tiny n Cute are under 25.

  3. That “cuddle zone” sign is giving me the shakes. Can someone in California please put on a haz mat suit, drive to Encinitas and cut the mess from the spiral notebook off for me, please?

  4. rich van every needs to look at the whole scene before pressing the shutter release. the jahsssss – amber hartnell photo: guy on the right appears as if dressed as a spiky pot plant.

    • There’s also one dude in the 5th photo who looks like he’s about to unzip his pants. Which is probably what happened next, come to think of it.

  5. Just put the turkey feathers in your hair already, Judy. You look like grandma Ali Shanti and you probably smell just as bad.

  6. Donkey is looking all her 35 years and perhaps 20 more. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her looking so rough. And those teefs.

  7. In the photo where Donkey is apparently holding forth on something, the dudes to her right look so uncomfortable. You can’t miss the body language/facial expressions. Even in settings like this she is still so off-putting.

    • Side eye from all three. I can’t believe marine how annoying it would be to be lectured by someone who has no direct or indirect experience on a given subject. Didn’t her own father say once that she doesn’t know what she is talking about but puts on a tone of authority to make it seem like she does? Such a bullshitter.

  8. It is still so obvious in all these pictures that she is just tryharding to fit in and to look the part for the photographer.

    Look at her expression in the first one with her hands raised. That is not the expression of a person who is honestly serene. It is the expression of an amateur theater actress who acts unconvincingly.

  9. Is this an event Judy would have been PAID to participate? Is she master-interviewing here? Asking on behalf of Journalism Schools every where who have never heard of that job but are wondering if they should write it into their curriculum.

    • You know what is always true is that she still can’t ever just BE someplace and be attending something like everyone else. She has to boss her way into commandeering part or most of it to be about her. She did this with the self-wedding at Burning Man, she did it with Camp Grounded, with Coobie, she had to stand up and ask Tony Robbins a question and ingratiate herself with his kids, she is doing it with this Encinitas group, and she’s doing it with Ryan Allis and his Hive thing. She has to be the one on stage pretending to be important so she can be admired and envied by others. Would that she actually DID something with her life that could be admired or envied by others instead of manufacturing a whole fake persona based on fart fumes and little else.

  10. Skankatron Sleaze Watch:

    Ali sent out the 9687th click-through email to her listserv, this one for her “friend” Tina Forsyth’s services. Blah, blah, blah about what an “innovator” Tina is and be sure to click here for a “super giveaway” on how to grow your online business. In the PS, Ali tells us what’s going on in Ali’s life, of course. I guess “humanizing” the email will make us more likely to click the link to her fellow grifter’s con.

    “PS — I am headed up into the mountains today for a few days with my son and his dad before my son goes off to his 13 year old rite of passage ceremony to bring conscious intention to his transition from boy to young man.

    Yesterday, I attended the funeral of a man who died very unexpectedly at the age of 56. He was fishing with his sons in the backcountry of Canada when he had a heart attack and died instantly. His sons were with him. One of them just 14.

    Both of these events have me in a great contemplation about my own life and what’s next. More on that soon. ❤”

    • She is gross beyond words. An acquaintance of mine died suddenly last week and everyone who knew her is all “What can we do for her family? What’s the best way to raise funeral expenses? Are her cats going to be okay?” not “What does this mean about ME and MY life?” a la SK3B.

      • The self-aborption blows my mind! After all of that navel gazing, reaching level after level, she’s still blissfully unaware of the solipsism.

      • My thoughts are with both of you. We lost a close friend recently and it was sudden as well. He left behind his lovely wife and three young children, all under 12. Our town has been incredibly solemn.

        It makes me hate the assholes even more because I almost used the word “community” instead of “town” but I though that would be disrespectful to my fiend. Because these woo “communities” are such a load of crap filled with a bunch of poser losers.

    • Unexpectedly v. Very Unexpectedly? Oh pls do explain the nuances, first-in-your-class at Georgetown Law, truth-telling-LOLyer Skankatron.

      This is so obviously a lead-in to her next eyes-wide-shut exhortation to fraudulently convey your parents assets before they drop down dead and statutory limitations interfere.

    • “great contemplation about my own life and what’s next. More on that soon.”

      wash, rinse, repeat

    • i am concerned about this whole sending a boy out into the woods with a bunch of men for some kind of rite of passage

      that does not sound like something that a minor should be doing because parents tell him to

      maybe voluntarily at 19, but not 13

  11. Anybody else watch that Tony Robbins doc on Netflix? How anybody can think that paints a flattering picture of Robbins or his marks is beyond me. The dude actually bullies a woman into breaking up with her boyfriend by phone in front of 2500 people … just because she can’t immediately say he’s “the one.” For a guy supposedly so intuitive about people’s feelings he is fixated on some weird 80s alpha male “masculine energy” bullshit that a dude can apparently resolve just by embarrassingly roaring like a lion. And every issue from the past seems to be dismissed with “well, it made you who you are today.” And every interaction between Robbins and an audience member was obviously pre-scouted by his team, somehow featuring beautiful women. The whole thing was like watching an X-Men character star in that Steve Marting traveling preacher movie from the ’90s.

  12. OT angry haters:

    Last night I met Albie. And she was miraculous. Smart funny beautiful and wise. I just say.

  13. I have absolitely no idea what really happens at these things but my best assumption is that they are all doing these grifts (at any random event like this) to get someone’s name/number for someone higher up than them (see Scientology grifts)

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