Updated, Now With Mrs. Roper: Scoldy McScolderson Strikes Again!

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coobie cunt

It’s after 3 p.m. and Coobie’s former, self-proclaimed spokesperson is finally out of bed and posting away on FB, her favorite pastime.

If you ever find yourself saying “I could have done that” … “go fucking do it then!”

Of course we’d be happy to write your book for St. Martin’s, Donkey, you sly dog, you!

Bottom Photo: Jess Johnson, who just posted “I need a team! For real. It’s time.” playing cultural tourist. Better look out, Jena!

cultural tourist

Update: Why in Greg’s name did Julie update her FB profile in the middle of the night with a fauxto of Mrs. Roper in her best housecoat? Who cares if the snap was taken at “Bear Kittay + Katiyana Kittay’s Magical Dream Wedding at La Tierra”? This woodlands creature is frump city!

mrs roper

156 COMMENTS

  1. Said it before sooo many times, and I’ll say it again.
    We have written Donkey’s book for her. All She has to do is tell the truth.
    Which the “New Julia” should feel cathartic, no ? Maybe title it
    Colours (Bright!) Horror Story

  2. I know the hair is really important to the Singing One, and so even though I’m not the one for the bodysnark, I feel I have to say her this is not the day for the hair she’s rocking, and she has not the head.

      • I don’t understand the need for a “team.” To do what? Send out invitations to Jaaahasss’s next topless white goddess aya fest? She can’t pay her rent now, so just how does she plan on paying her team? By opening up a second patreon gofundmyass account?

        Checking up on that account and she’s $10 down from when I last popped in. Didn’t the caterwauler get anybody to sign up when giving that free concert in the foyer of her Mumbai hotel?

        https://www.patreon.com/JessMagic?ty=c

        • I’ve worked five years without a “team” and even transitioning into hiring people (with real money) I wouldn’t refer to them as my “team.” But none of these people understand the first thing about business. They just want to look important and busy, and they’re neither.

          • Speaking of trying to look important & busy, did you catch the video that Jess posted from Dubai, the one about how she was going to go into the lobby and wail and she’d tell us how it went down? Well, she never said another greg damn word about it, and she posted that annoying vid to both her profile page and to the Jess Magic artiste page, which doesn’t even have 200 members and has been up for months. A team, my ass!

  3. Seriously in total agreement. It is disgusting truly they are low life woos. Jess what are you doing to alleviate Indian slave trade, they are #1. What do you say to that? Too busy scamming seriously get the fuck out of SF.

    • But, but, but if Jess sings she will change the course of history and that includes alleviating the slave trade! Didn’t Cory Tanner Glazier claim as much?

  4. Does the guy in the video even have a valid point? You show up with cash and wave it around people of course are going to pay attention to you. And if strangers wanting to take selfies gives one validation, then stroll through Times Square some time. NOT ORIGINAL!

  5. She always looks dirty and not in a good way.

  6. “If you ever find yourself saying “I could have done that” … “go fucking do it then!”

    How’s that overarching music theory cram course coming along?

  7. I just realized that Milo Yiannopolous, the alt-right Breitbart writer who calls Trump “Daddy,” is a former Donk associate. I’ve been seeing his name pop up lately and couldn’t remember where I’d heard it before.

    • This has come up before. Some people seem to be confusing him with Milo Ventimiglia, a C-list actor whom Donk claims she dated, but Milo Yiannopolous (whom I am not unconvinced is a performance artist) wrote about Donk once for a previous employer.

  8. She also shared a rant from a mom about using sunscreen on her children (the rant is not woo, it’s just about her frustrations about never knowing which products are OK). What I don’t understand is why she’s sharing this stuff from mothers or children now. It’s so far removed from anything in her life that it has to be some scheme juice flowing.

    Also, I woke up and saw this new fauxto and for a second I thought I was having a lucid nightmare. WHY?! WHY IN GREG’S NAME?!

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t31.0-8/13340218_10101464592536625_6089295459568565776_o.jpg

    • Oh dear lord! I haven’t had my coffee and can’t deal with the horror! When did they exhume Audra Lindley’s body?!

      • As Frequent Liar Miles pointed below, there are fucking trash bags in that fauxto! Is her narcissism so out of control that she only focuses on herself to the point that she doesn’t realize she is posing next to ROTTING TRASH BAGS?!

          • Exactly. Shut UP, toot-toot! She is a magical flower-crowned goddess in a magical garden. Also, see the pink coat, pink is for pretty princesses, don’t you know anything?

        • Kind of looks like a bucket of garden implements — maybe ultra-conscious planet warrior Mulia Mallison is digging up & poaching indigenous plants, sneaking ’em out in a Hefty?

          The sunscreen rant? Would have been more topical (see what I did there?) a couple of days ago, when it was still Melanoma Month.

          That fauxto is hilareballz! In 15 years, when Little Bro’ Britt’s local PD puts out a Demented Person BOLO, this is how they’ll be describing her appearance.

    • A friend of mine shared that sunscreen post– it was great. I was amused by the idiots (like JA) who read the title and assumed it was all about how sunscreen is bad for your kids, when it’s really a FU to the parenting hype and fear mongering that we face on a daily basis while trying to do our best and not be lectured by assholes about everything we’re doing wrong (again, like JA). What the fuck does she know or care about parents who drive themselves nuts trying to raise happy, well balanced kids? Does she ever read beyond the fucking title before she re-posts?

      • Veering OT, but just wanted to say that it’s this kind of thing that, for me, justifies online shopping for everything not perishable — I can take time to research product quality beyond simple “Do” / “Don’t” like reviews. I mean c’mon, how many years now has defective sunscreen been on the radar, but who remembers all the approved brands, so why leave it to an impulse buy?

        #ConsumerReportsIsWhereItsAt

    • Never mind the clever repurposing of the eyelet shower curtain and pink bathmat, can we talk about the low-slung flower crown? I know many preschoolers who favor headbands right across their brow line, but they are too short for most mirrors and don’t appreciate how unflattering that look is. Why on earth would an adult do that? Why?

  9. I did not know that Magical Wedding venues included pooh buckets and sacks of rotting garbage partially concealed in the shrubbery.

    • I am confused by that picture.

      Didn’t they get married at Burning Man?

      Those shrubs do not like playa at all.

        • Bear & Kitty’s wedding was so over the top, so excessive, so ludicrous, that it functioned as parody. I wrote about the nonsense on RBD and was annoyed that a few cat peeps defended their endless nuptials.

          • So few of those items have been fulfilled, and their first wedding was almost a year ago?

          • My God! The sense of entitlement is off the fucking charts!

            Remember that scene in Animal House where John Belushi came across a folkie playing a guitar and singing some limp dick ditty? The scene that ended with Belushi smashing the guitar to bits, shrugging his shoulders and saying “Sorry”? Yeah, that was great.

          • OMGreg! The smugness is off the motherf-ing charts!

            “Contribute to our 1st full plate set! We are planning a trip to Japan to pick out the perfect set.”

            (I did NOT make that up)

          • It really grinds my gears that these two have been together for so long and have traveled to so many places and are clearly so financially privileged and yet still expect others to purchase them basic household goods. I’ll do that for a young couple just starting out, but not these folks.

            I have a friend who is an OMG lawyer and married another OMG lawyer. They also threw a fancy wedding. However, they paid for it themselves, and since it was expensive for people to attend the wedding period, they requested no gifts and only donations to a specified charity if one felt moved to give something. I cannot fathom the balls of someone who had three receptions, each of which were expensive to attend, and still expects gifts on top of that.

            Also: RACIST

          • Jaw-dropping. Holy shitballs. These are our new overlords?

          • I cannot tell if these people are more full of themselves or full of $hit

            btw- that video clip of him playing guitar is hilarious- the people in the background are like “STFU, can’t you see we are hungover and trying to sleep!!!”

        • According to divorce-lawyer-to-the-stars Raoul Felder (he did Giuliani’s second, among others), the more lavish the proposal and the wedding, the more acrimonious the divorce.

          The fact that she is much older and he looks very gay may also have something to do with it.

          • She’s only two years older than him! KIDS, THIS IS WHY WE USE SUNSCREEN, SO WE DON’T LOOK TEN YEARS OLDER THAN WE ARE.

          • Are you sure?

            She looks like she could be her mom and he still looks super duper extra gay.

          • Yes, unless she graduated from high school several years late. She graduated from high school in 2002 and he in 2004.

          • It will probably work since she has the body of a 12 year old boy and is probably poly enough to find amusement elsewhere if need be. And need will likely be.

    • Poo buckets — the Naugler family??

      blessedlittleblog.com <– RBD for those individuals. Beware: rabbit hole.

      • Oh, Greg, I cannot stop rubbernecking at that horrible trainwreck. The Nogs are the worst people in the world, and the Kentucky child protective services are apparently the worst child protective services in the world.

  10. Wearing white to someone else’s wedding.

    Interestingly enough, that wasn’t the dress code. The dress code from the wedding website was “ethnic chic.” (Google La Tierra and Bear Kittay and it oughta be your first hit.)

    Seriously? I move out of the Bay in a few months, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve lived in several different states in the US and I’ve never encountered more casual racism than among the supposedly progressive, inclusive liberals of San Francisco. Meanwhile, I truly believe the JIML in my life has only been permitted to thrive as a terrible human because SF has so many like-minded folks with whom she can surround herself who are either too self-absorbed and/or passive-aggressive to call her out on her bullshit.

    So. “Ethnic chic”? Fuck YOU, Bear Kittay and Katiyana, you ignorant fucks.

    • The dress code from the wedding website was “ethnic chic.”

      The dress code from the wedding website was “cultural appropriation.”

      • As a woman of color living in SF you are so right on. Its like look you all pretend to be liberal and progressive but sweetie you are just a racist entitled piece of shit. KKK minus the white hood; that makes you no less racist. It is disgusting the assumptions of people of color, ethnic chic wearing reality cultural appropriation, entitled, scammers, greedy and selfish assholes.

    • I worked a lot of conferences for a very large SF based, “liberal & progressive” tech company. Holy shit. The intolerance was off the charts. It was pure comedy when the employees would spew their opinions to (paying) attendees and not even realize that the person’s response was not one of “Awe and wonder” but rather, “Awe. This sucks. You’re such an asshole and now you’ve ruined my perception of you!”.
      And it never ever went through their heads that this was what the people walked away thinking.

      • The JIML – also a pampered, elitist, entitled teenager-pushing-40 – was laid off nearly six months ago and has been on unemployment since then. Instead of spending this time looking for long-term employment, she has been traveling aimlessly and pestering the local police nonstop to break up the homeless encampments in the neighborhood (which have always come with the territory. This is San Francisco.). The latter actions she has justified as being “out of concern for the community and her personal safety as a single woman.” Because, you see, potentially these homeless men are rapists and home invaders! They don’t look like “the good kind of homeless people.”

        She called the police claiming that they were an organized crime ring involved in selling drugs. When I inquired as to what evidence she had of that occurring, she said, “Well I didn’t see anyone exchanging drugs, but I did see about five men standing around looking shady and thuggy.”

        Well, then! And this coming from a person who routinely describes herself as being kind, caring, and passionate about social justice issues. I cannot.

    • I know this is probably a second language issue, but I have always been slightly disturbed by this English / American use of “ethnic.” And I am not usually easily disturbed by this sort of thing. Sorry, but “boring WASP” is an ethnicity too, no less so than, um err oops, all those people who wear headdresses and bindis. “Easter Kinderwhore,” for example, is an “ethnic look” too, although few people would call it “chic.”

      • No, it’s weird as hell and not an English as a foreign language issue at all.

        If anyone made the mistake of inviting me to an “ethnic” party, I would either break out a full L. L. Bean outfit or go the full Braveheart complete with limed hair, face paint, and a great plaid.

        • My choice would be “White Northern European tourist on summer vacation” complete with Nike sandals + socks, cargo shorts and an ill fitting dress shirt.

      • Like others said.

        Bear and Katiyana are clearly using the term “ethnic” to mean “brown people.” The implication is that white is the default and race-less, and that brown people are the deviations to the norm.

        It’s the same kind of prejudice encountered when people refer to someone who is blonde and blue-eyed as “all-American looking” or when some white folks, when asked about their background, respond, “I’m just American,” but then will push and push a brown person about “but where are you REALLY from?”

        • Leslie Knope: You moved to South Carolina from where?
          Tom Haverford: My mother’s uterus.

    • What would you do if you had two such clueless friends? I could not imagine myself at that wedding, but not one person seems to think it is anything but fun and lovely.

      • I tried imagining it and couldn’t, because I would never deign to be friends with assholes like these.

      • They are all happily and sometimes seriously posing with the provided ethnic gold headpieces from Oriental Trading Company.

      • you got noodles, ali Mcscammie, la phelgm, donkey, Jess dumb bitch among others. These are all sick, disgusting, ignorant, racist, entitled woos.

  11. Y’all, I finished “The first bad man” by Miranda July last night and I was SO DISTURBED by it… the sex was so gross, the foot funk, oh my god. I was really glad to get to the end but I couldn’t just walk away either.

    • and is that Bear is singing the whole time?

      yeah, Donkey had to be silently sobbing the whole time

    • Wow. Judging by those few photos, Donkey received more than a few side eyes at her interpretation of the dress code.

        • Why are Ali & RibbonHead girl nuzzling what’sherface neck & armpit? I think Ima toss my cookies …

          • Also? If that wedding ring is 6.5 – 8 carat canary diamond? Probably in the neighborhood of $60 – $75k. Boofuckinghoo, Donkey!

          • And they expect people to chip in to buy them plate sets that they intend on purchasing when in China?

            FUCK THESE ASSHOLES.

          • Oh my god, I just saw the Skankatron feel-up pictures and I did toss my cookies!!

          • JFAing myself to add that those pictures are worse than Shanti’s giant dildos & dope table!

            NEVAH FORGET!

        • That one guy with a big halo of frizzy red-blond hair cavorting around in the white furry coat and white top hat gives me intense douchechills.

        • First I thought Skankatron looked out of her mind wasted. Like rolling HARD. Then I saw Bear, who just looks, like, sad wasted. On the other hand, Kati kitty Kat kittay actually looks relatively composed and cogent. That marriage won’t last.

        • I am exhausted just looking at how hard they are trying.

          I am also seriously fucking embarrassed to even know these people exist.

        • you just KNOW how hard she elbowed her way up to the front and center of the photos, right next to the bride

          i’m a dude, and even i know that a woman is not supposed to wear white to a wedding, let alone a wedding dress, isn’t that just like a common sense common courtesy thing?

          • It’s always surprising how she looks when she can’t control the pic. Girl is looking ruff.

  12. I was soooooo waiting for an update on the photo of the old lady on a pre-dawn raid of someone’s food garden.

    Mrs. Roper. Never disappointed.

    Thank you!

  13. I do not understand why Julia Allison cannot just leave her head alone. And unadorned. From the Easter bow to the huge flower crowns. She just cannot possibly look at herself and think these things look good. If your headpieces need to be architected, then they are better suited for a Vegas revue than everyday wear.

    Would that everyone could drink from this nectar that I am sharing. I’ve made myself rock hard. May I show you?

    • I think from now on we should all just show each other. We’ve been here together for years, after all. We’re all wearing the same metaphorical flower crown and Muppet bathrobe. This is, in essence, our intentional community with garbage bags and Franklin Mint commemorative plates. We are changing the world!

          • Please allow me to be its acolyte and bathe its funky feet. Everyone else can form a line for afterwards.

      • We are the real Non-Society community she accidentally birthed.

        We really ARE her only fans, you guys.

        She ought to be happy she has us. It’s not the worst feather in your dusty hairnest.

        • Like, when KS showed up to try and see her dance at 1015 Folsom, she probably was the only shitty random stage fluffer there who had someone pay actual money (TWO tickets!) and come in… JUST FOR HER. Just for HER dancing.

          She hates her only audience.

          Meanwhile, we love every idiotic, miscalculated, false and fucked up step she takes.

          God bless you, Jules. Keep on fuckin’ keepin’ on. Don’t ever change.

  14. So other basement dwellers may have already been hip to this, but La Tierra is an “intentional community” in Sebastopol, most likely the one in which Kitty Kat Kittay grew up.

    Which explains Julie’s latest crusade, maybe?

  15. To the cat ladies a couple threads back- Brayella and Grammarian especially- thank you for the gardening advice. This year we are playing with annual flowers and then potter herbs that I’m growing from starters. Thanks for your help!

  16. I haven’t even read most of this thread and I’m sure you all have moved on from the registry but holy fuckballs. These fucking people!!!!!

    “If you have a vacation home and want to offer it to us for a weekend/week long getaway, we would be extremely grateful! Email katiyana@kittay.com to let us know you have a vacation home you would like to offer. ”

    I would like to offer a big fuck you.

    Also, my dad is always telling me not to slouch – seeing Juliar in her Grey Gardens getup has really reinforced that.

    • Also, when asking for assistance with your “Turkish and Morrocan Rug Fund” maybe you should learn how to fucking spell Moroccan.

      I thought he was rich(ish)?

      • Has to be. Nobody tastes poverty and then flies to Japan to get their first fucking full set of dishes.

    • My Aunt has a beautiful Dutch Colonial right on the Sound.

      Dock and boat. Six bedrooms, master bath, red room, bleeding walls, gateway to hell, etc.

      I bet the front door will sweep up a treat.

      GET OUT

  17. Donkey has edited her post to call that maxi schmatte a “gown” and brag about the brand and designer as if it is some couture piece. Face it, Donkey, you were too broke to buy something new that actually fit the theme.

    • She always has to do this for this “gown”. She did this for some fauxto shoot where she was wearing the same “gown” (I CANT EVEN, IT”S A FUCKING MAXI DRESS FFS) and she had to lift the dress to show those ugly, god awful white fucking hooker pumps.
      I bet she’s wearing those same goddamn shoes in that stupid muppet outfit.

      • The one with her posing with cheap flowers from the petrol/gas station, complete with elastic band still on them?

  18. Another day, another lucid nightmare when I check what she’s been up to overnight:

    “I hold this belief that the world we live in should work for – get this!! … everyone.
    I know, I know, crazy, right?”

    The fuck does this even mean? The world should work? Maybe she should try that herself for a change…

    • transbration: “i should be able do anything i want, whenever i like mee, meeee, meeeeeeeee”

      rules, they don’t apply.

      • JFAing to add that whenever i see anything like this from her, i think about the scene from “the fantastic mr. fox” where foxy is telling badger to buy the tree – “the cuss you are – are you cussing at me – don’t point and cuss you little cuss – snarl, growl, hiss, hiss”

      • Well, this asshat has expressed Eckhart Tolle/ Secret-adjacent opinions (that bullshit book about the “laws of attraction”). Taken to its most logical conclusion that disgusting ideology implies that people who have been victims of pedophiles/rape/human rights abuses etc, simply caused their own pain. So yeah, I assume she also includes those because in her pea brain, the victims are at fault for not being positive enough.

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