Ali Shanti’s Tongue Needs To Be Surgically Removed From Bryan Franklin’s Rear End



SK3B is always working some angle, isn’t she? Prior to the FB post below, the old raunch put up another 50 paragraphs ass kissing BF. 401K? Who needs it? Not when one can pressure Mamma to hand over her retirement savings.

Flight to SFO delayed. Hopped on an alternate to OAK and all that was left was the middle seat. So smooshed in and a wee bit tired, but making it.

Some people would say it’s not worth the time, money and energy to fly to the Bay for the day for a book launch party.

But for this book in particular, I am choosing to do it because it exemplifies what the book is all about.

Over the past years, I’ve invested most of the money I’ve earned exactly as described in Bryan Franklin and Michael Ellsberg’s new book, “The Last Safe Investment”.

Rather than putting money into the market or my 401k, I’ve invested what I’ve earned into developing what Michael and Bryan call Super Skills, creating community (they call it Tribe), and participating in experiences that have allowed me to create a life I consider worth living.

You might worry that according to the traditional financial services industry advice, I don’t have enough in “retirement.”

Fortunately, I’ve created a life and learned how to create income in ways that I will never need to retire from.

I want to do what I do always. And when I want to shift, and slow down, I’ll be able to do that and still earn what I need, doing work I love.

You don’t have to wait until retirement to do that for yourself.

Trust me when I say, it’s way easier the younger you start. And, it’s never too late.

Pushing money into your retirement account simply is not the answer.

Instead, I have invested as the book “The Last Safe Investment” shows you how to do.

And today, because of those investments (which Suze Orman would have definitely disapproved), I am financially liberated.

I know I can earn what I need, when I need it, on demand, being all of myself in the world.

Most importantly, I love my life. Without question.

I couldn’t always say that before.

Today, I am flying to San Francisco (now Oakland) to take a stand for every single person who is still investing their resources with the old economy conditioning in mind.

It’s time to shift.

We are doing it together. I hope you (yes, YOU) will come along.

Link to the book and an interview with the authors in the comments.

Investing in BF & ME’s “Super Skills” has given SK3B “financial freedom”? Does this finally mean real, honest-to-goodness curtains in the master bedroom?

Stocks & bonds & real estate? Who needs ’em? Not when the always humble Bryan and Smellsberg co-wrote a book!


Bottom Fan in the ‘Stan: Panagiotis Giannakis!



  1. Dear Greg, she sucks. Good thing my boring old family stuck to the outdated, unenlightened concept of saving for a rainy day, and were thus able to cover the un-reimbursed costs of a catastrophic illness that would have sent most people to the poorhouse.

    Why do the woos think that everyone else is stuck in boring, thankless jobs; or slaving away for pennies; or spending their life savings trying to keep up with the Joneses?

    • Why anyone would ever take financial advice from this lunatic is beyond me.

      And Smellsberg knows he can count on an inheritance down the road, so screw him.

    • GMTA Tingo — Shantress’ plan only works until she develops breast cancer; melanoma (highly likely in her case); or gangrene of the clam dungeon and is unable to continue grifting.

      • It also only works if she continues to grift until she’s dead. She doesn’t seem to understand what retirement is. It’s not just getting away from your job, it’s being able to care for yourself because you can’t work. It’s nice to assume that you can continue to earn money when you’re in your 60s and 70s, but for most people that’s not realistic.

        • It is hilarious how she assumes she’ll just continue to be healthy enough to just keep working.

          She’s one burst appendix or melanoma away from bankruptcy again.

        • As my mother (and I’m sure a lot of other people) say, “running between the raindrops.” Explains why she’s never clean and broke.

        • It’s also about being able to do something other than work. Maybe you’ll try a different career. Maybe travel. Maybe spend time with your grandchildren. Fix up your house. Volunteer. Paint. Write. And you can afford it because you worked hard and saved up for this time in your life.

          It’s all the more disgusting that she went after her own mother’s retirement funds.

    • I know, right? I love what I do so much that I would do it for free. Instead, I get a flexible schedule and a paycheck that includes employer paid retirement contributions.

      I will never the woos.

  2. OMGreg!

    The picture of the fan-in-the-stans and his BMW-branded farm animal had me spitting coffee all over.

    But, of course, it makes perfect sense: he is a poseur who wishes he had a BMW and he likes donkeys.

    • That photo is the real deal, and Panagiotis has several donkey snaps. While not all bottom pictures showcase what we’ve defined as “fans in the ‘stans” – folks living in Middle Eastern countries who are PAID to “like” Julie – all pictures are of folks who have given Julia thumbs up on her posts.

      • Loving these new bottom photos more than I can say!

        In a way, a donkey’s life would be more interesting if she actually knew any of these people.

        • Those pictures are the perfect companion to the posts.

          This reminds me: somebody needs to tell the Mary Kay lady it’s time to put those tits away.

      • Grifty and I co-wrote a book about the BMW donkey. If you post a link to our amazon page, I’d be willing to give you 50 cents off.

  3. I’ve figured out Skankatron’s power word for 2016 (or whatever-the-fuck the woos call it):


    SK3B: you do not haz relevancy.

  4. By “the last safe investment” she means that they are actually investing in a safe for when Michael gets his inheritance. Ali will devise a secret code for the lock that only she can remember. Oh noes! Some partner of hers must have stolen the combo and made off with all the money! Don’t worry, Michael, such things are meaningless in a life of continually declaring that you are so much more centered than you were five fucking seconds ago. Are these Versace coat ghouls? Yes. Why do you ask?

    • Bryan Franklin also has some kind of inheritance coming his way. Look up his dad (he has shouted him out on a FB post). Former tech executive. BF grew up in either Marin or on the Peninsula, so he’s another insufferable third baser who thinks he hit all his home runs on his own.

      BF claims that his former company, FranklinMedia, was behind the film editing for a lot of prestige pics, including Memento (which he mentions was nominated for an Oscar in Best Editing). Impressive claim; however, when I google FranklinMedia and Memento, nothing comes up. In fact, very little comes up about FranklinMedia at all, which is odd for what was supposedly such a prominent group in the industry. My hunch is that FranklinMedia just provided the editing equipment for the REAL talent – the editors, the one whose names actually appear on the IMDb pages.

  5. Good luck with that, Shanti.

    I hope the ex husband is somehow providing health nsurance for the family. There’s no way she’s shelling out the thousands a month this costs. Isn’t her daughter two years from going to college? What’s the plan there? I know everyone thinks she’ll convince her kids that grifting is better than an education, but they have friends, don’t they? Friends who will go away to school while they’re stuck at the Raunch Ranch re-selling dream catchers?

    • Why would she plan for college? She doesn’t even want them in high school. She constantly trying to get her daughter to drop out and only put her son in school when her ex forced her.

      • She does not want those kids in college because she’ll have to submit a financial aid form, and the family will be expected to contribute financially towards some part of tuition. Not to worry, Ali’s already got her oldest kid grifting “dream catchers.”

        Also, the ex-husband lives with the family and doesn’t have a job, so no insurance there. Supposedly he takes care of the kids and Ali’s criticized that care in the “love letters” to her listserv.

        Christ, these people are awful.

        • It’s even more gross when you consider that she is depriving her kids of the experience and education she herself enjoyed and pissed away. She’s not giving her kids a chance. I just wrote what I think will likely become of her daughter in a few short years but then I deleted it because I hope what I think will happen doesn’t. Her poor, poor kids.

    • If those poor kids have health insurance, and that is a gigantic godzilla-size if, it doesn’t cover dental, hence the “health tourism” trip to see a dentist in Costa Rica.

      • She is the WORST. My parents grew up poor in another country and thus had extremely spotty dental care; for the last ten years, they have spent tens of thousands dealing with their dental problems (surgery, crowns, root canals, and so on).

        They came to this country with 50USD between them and absolutely no English, and they worked themselves to the BONE to make sure that my siblings and I had health insurance and twice annual dental check ups and proper orthodontia. Ali, meanwhile, was given EVERY advantage–she was born white, with good looks, in one of the richest countries in the world, and then educated as a lawyer at Georgetown–and THIS is the best she can do for her kids? I am genuinely angry and sad on their behalf. I know not everyone can give everything to their kids, but every one deserves a parent who at least TRIES.

        • She doesn’t give a shit about her kids. Not one single shit. She has subjected them to all manner of abusive, nasty, rapey, gross adults in her quest to be the most fucked Queen of the clit-flicking tribe. Can you just imagine having a mother who spends loads of dough on the likes of Pamela Madsen retreats but puts $0 toward your college fund or health care?? She’s the WORST.

    • See Smellsberg’s OTHER book encouraging people not to go to college anymore

    • College fund?! Pah – she has her MIND. Her mind IS her college fund. If college costs $50K/year, she’ll just wake up one morning and type “make $50K” into her money map and it will appear in her bank account.

  6. “And today, because of those investments (which Suze Orman would have definitely disapproved), I am financially liberated.”
    Sure thing, Shamti. That’s why your always strapped for cash. I swear these grift-woos (excepting the ones who live off rich parents or rich exes) remind me of 17-year-old me living on my own for the first time. I would always live like a baller for the first two weeks of the month then spend the last two weeks panicking while I tried to get together the money to pay rent. Shamti alternates between lavish vacations, desperate grifts and bankruptcy constantly.
    The difference between me and her is that I was a teenager and grew out of it. Living within my means isn’t always fun, but at least I don’t spend half my time worrying about the very real threat of homelessness. Also, I didn’t have children so the only person I was hurting was myself.

    • This – if I want to fill my hot tub with champagne and scabies I’m not hurting anyone but myself. She has children she should be looking after.

      She is absolutely disgusting. The things she brags about – I would be hot with shame about them.

    • It’s funny, because those are the kind of financial habits that some would accuse mythical welfare queens in the projects of having. How hilarious that it’s actually the college-educated, anarcho-libertarian woos who are actually cheating the government.

  7. Bless her heart, she’s launching a Money Map Founders Group:

    “Well this is exciting! Please meet the Money Map Masters Founder’s Group.

    I am so impressed by each of these women and the work they are doing in the world. And grateful they will be sharing the work of the Money Map far beyond what I could possibly do on my own.

    I look forward to introducing you to them in more detail soon — a lawyer, a PsyD, a former Administrative Law Judge, and two women with extensive experience in business living the reality of financial liberation and personal sovereignty already — it’s truly a dream come true.

    Monica Alanna thank you for supporting us so beautifully and making this banner. smile emoticon So glad you are with us. — with Allison Osborn, Amie Marie, Keirsten Quest, Josh Eros Rosenfield, Melissa Kristine and Ginna Larson.”

    Let’s see where they are in, say, 6 months, shall we?

    • In more than three+ months, but less than six, Allison Osborn, Amie Marie, Keirsten Quest, Josh Eros Rosenfield, Melissa Kristine & Ginna Larson will have been accused of costing Ali Shanti (AKA Alexis Martin Neely pre-bankruptcy) tens of thousands of dollars, & of stealing trade secret template forms, & any thing else she thinks of in her next business hiccup spin. There they’ll be.

      Spin, blather, repeat.

  8. Seeing her on a plane just brings home how absolutely kookoo crazy nuts insane she must look in a crowd of normal, hygienic people with those Gregdamn feathers in her hair.

    • She looks rough. She must need a vacation! Manifest that, Shamti!

    • I would have been so fucking pissed if someone like this were next to me on a flight. Look at her taking up all that room.

      How much money does it cost to change your flight the day of?

      • It only cost me $50 at Christmas on Delta, but I was going LGA-IND and just going later. I think if you are delayed and on the same airline in many cases you can change at no cost.

        What is she getting out of this? Is there time for a juicy session (gag) before the BOOK PARTY?

      • depending on the airline, class of ticket and seat availability, it may cost up to $200 plus the difference in ticket from what you originally paid.

        standby is a different story – sometimes costs nothing, but usually to the same destination.

        the latest money-saving airline flight thing is to buy tix that go “through” an airport as a stopover and get off at the stopover. example: i need to get from denver to sfo, but the cost of a one-way ticket to (e.g.: portland oregon) with stopover in sfo is cheaper. so i buy the den – pdx ticket and get off in sfo. not a lot the airline can do about this.

    • I know, I look at that photo and think: moisturize! sunblock! Don’t go to sleep with your makeup on!

      (They would find me ridiculous, I know…)

  9. it’s pretty clear that all these people talking about financial liberation were not raised by a working class or family in poverty. saying not to bother investing in retirement/savings/traditional education is pretty rich coming from people who had that provided for them – Ellsberg was raised by a wealthy family, Shanti seems to have been at least middle class, etc. They are just cooking up this bullshit to rationalize to their more successful friends and families why they are irresponsible and unsuccessful.

    They grew up not worrying about whether or not the lights would get shut off, or if they could even afford to attend college, etc. They act like its so courageous to shy away from financial stability. fuck that – I grew up watching my parents live paycheck to paycheck working service jobs. that life is stressful as hell.

    also it is SO telling that her barometer for success is that SHE loves her life. doesn’t she have two kids? what about their futures and success? my parents worked their asses off for me and my brother to have a chance at having a different life – we both went to college on scholarship and have professional jobs, where I have protection against being fired for no reason, recourse for sexual harassment, am not bullied into working on Christmas, and all the other bs my parents had/have to deal with. to me, the real freedom is knowing that I can weather a small financial storm. she has a teenagers definition of freedom – doing whatever you want at the moment, not realizing you are fucking yourself in the future. I know I’m rambling but this is some bullshit.

    • Totally agree with you. It’s like not needing health care now because her parents were able to provide her with stellar health care growing up. She’d be less likely to throw vaccines to the winds if she’d ever had to deal with polio.

  10. Julia Allison, who “will be off the internet for the next few months to focus on creative projects,” has liked Shanti’s latest suck up to Smelly. Also, the woos are falling all over themselves praising this horseshit. One poor sap asked for “shorter posts please” and the enablers swooped down, basically telling Shitty how much they loved reading her long posts because they’re more like novels. Yeah, when I think of Dickens, I think of some deranged jackass with turkey feathers in her hair balling anything with a pulse.

    • “Hibernation mode” my ass!

      Just when you think she couldn’t be more of a phony, she outphonies herself.

      Well done, Donka!

      • Her raftass is in a constant state of hibernation w/ her overall low activity & low metabolic rate, so it’s no surprise that she lurks on FB when she’s not lurking here on her snark site / sight / cite — I imagine that pronouncement was for Dad$er’s benefit if D0nk is meant to be packing, job hunting, book writing, etc.

    • There’s a vewy, vewy exkwusive book launch party tonight in SF, with a guest list that’s limited to close friends/tribemates only. How to get on this guest list? Pre-order 2 copies of the book. Sigh.

    • Well, Dickens and Skankatron do have a poorhouse connection in common. Perhaps the Coat Ghoul of Christmas Future will appear in an aya-induced hallucination to warn SK3B of this potentiality.

  11. Gauntlet toss from Songstress Ariella:

    Hi Ali! I have a deep sense of trust around what you say, which feels good. And, I also was JUST able to start a RothIRA. Until recently, I had NO $ put away at all… I would like to know from your perspective more about this. For instance, what if one gets sick and needs to not work for some time? Will this model still work? I like – in general – to diversify my financial flow, savings, spending and all. And I realize the answer may be for me to read the book, and this may not be the place to ask the question. But at this moment, it’s the question that’s popping up: While what you’re stating is quite intriguing and may be very true, are you also saying it’s healthy to NOT have a retirement fund? (because it seems to me, in this society at least, that’s counter intuitive…. perhaps you mean once you have a chunk saved, there are other ways?)

    Thanks for reading. I’m happy to not receive an answer right now. I’ve always benefited from following my intuition, more than any person’s book advice, pretty much across the board.

    • The max that you can even contribute to a “retirement fund” (which I am taking to mean a 401(k) and/or Roth) if you have a real, soul-deadening, desk job is only $18k. If she is pulling down so much bank, $1500/month before taxes should be chump change.

      The whole point of it is compound interest, not that you are pouring big fund$ into it. She is so stupid and ignorant. I HAVE CRACKED.

  12. too bad that SK3B traveling to the bay during JA’s non-return from the midwest holiday homecoming

    I am still holding to my prediction, though, that they will be roommates at some point in 2016

  13. Isn’t this the same woman who was just whining that she couldn’t cover her companies 80K in refunds at the beginning of last year?? Guess the Money Map isn’t as great as she claims it to be if she’s got that kind of refunds 😉 (of course not her fault… not possible.)

  14. “…Super Skills, creating community (they call it Tribe)….” a useless group of parasites is still a useless group of parasite regardless of what name they choose to adopt.

  15. “Most importantly, I love my life. Without question.
    I couldn’t always say that before.”

    We should keep track of this with a web counter or something, like they do for jobsite injuries:

    It’s been 3days since I last had my world rocked by shifting paradigms.

  16. I’ve read approximately one metric ton of Ali’s writings about the Money Map, and I *still* don’t get how it will magically result in your always earning what you *need* and becoming financially free. It seems to me that it works thusly:

    Write down how much you need to earn per month (figure “1”).
    Write down what you are actually making each month (figure “2”).
    Now reduce figure 1 to figure 2.
    PRESTO!! Financial freedom!!

    Seriously, that my actual understanding of the Money Map based upon downloading her free worksheets / listening to her calls / I hate myself for having done those things / but I really did do them.

    • If the person buys the book, how can Amazon stop them from reviewing it? And Smellsberg has always been very clear, new paradigm or no, there are no book freebies.

        • I read the link. It doesn’t specify if the reviews that were removed were from people who had actually purchased the book through Amazon. I would think that would make a difference, but maybe not.

          • Not according to the Amazon policy statement. Regardless of whether the book is purchased, they don’t want close friends and family to leave reviews.

          • “3. Can I ask my family to write a Customer Review for my book?
            We don’t allow individuals who share a household with the author or close friends to write Customer Reviews for that author’s book. Customer Reviews provide unbiased product feedback from fellow shoppers and aren’t to be used as a promotional tool. Please refer to our Help Page for more details. Your family and friends are welcome to share their enthusiasm for your book through our Customer Discussions feature.

            To find Customer Discussions, go to your book’s product detail page and scroll past Customer Reviews. Click on the ‘Start a Discussion’ button to provide your feedback. Anyone who visits can read a discussion. For more information, check out our Customer Discussion Guidelines.”

          • From the guidelines: “Promotional Reviews – In order to preserve the integrity of Customer Reviews, we do not permit artists, authors, developers, manufacturers, publishers, sellers or vendors to write Customer Reviews for their own products or services, to post negative reviews on competing products or services, or to vote on the helpfulness of reviews. For the same reason, family members or close friends of the person, group, or company selling on Amazon may not write Customer Reviews for those particular items.”

          • “We don’t allow individuals who share a household with the author ”

            what if they’re homeless?

    • In which case, Amazon needs to take a close, hard look at 5-star reviews on Jena La Flamme’s Pleasurable Weight Loss: The Secrets to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Loving Your Life Today, specifically those of Dec 2014 / Jan 2015 — more than 80% of those 5-star reviews are unverified purchases who coincidentally can be tracked back to Jena La Flamme’s Facebook Friends List & if that isn’t shady as fuck, I don’t know what is.

      • The policy was put in place just this past summer. I don’t know if they are enforcing it retroactively.

  17. Scammy Ashanti is going to address our concerns about health care and the ability to work into old age in future posts. Hi Ali!

  18. Nothing like flying home from a long exhausting business trip and having an empty middle seat to sprawl out in. Wonder what’s taking us so long to get going here. Hmm, think I’ll get started on the Sky Mall, gotta get me one of those Home Saunas they sell. Oh what’s this? We’re waiting on a passenger? *Rolls eyes* Oh here she is about time! Let’s get this show on the road! What dead animal is nesting in that hag’s hair? Wait why is she stopping in my row?! Wait NO! Not the middle seat!!! Oh God, what is that odor? Since when do 60 year old women take selfies???

    Awareness of surroundings and respect of those around you something you obviously lack Ali!

    • Aho, Sister Mary Rottencrotch! I am not leaning in; I am leaning away from your stank cooch.

      Ugh, how long is that flight?

  19. Here’s more of the same from Ali, one post earlier on her Facebook:

    Who’s in your corner when you need great advice?
    Five years ago, if I wanted great advice, I had to pay for it and I couldn’t be sure how good the advice would be. Mostly, it was very expensive and only sometimes good.
    I dreamed of being able to pick up the phone and ask someone who had already done what I wanted to do for help.
    Today, I get the best business coaching and support from the top performers in my industry, often for free. As an example, I spoke to Eben Pagan today about hiring a COO for one of the companies that supports my work and to @mayumi young about structuring a loan/royalty investment to grow the company.
    They each took the time out of their very busy days to talk with me, at no charge.
    Because over the past several years I’ve made the kind of investments that Michael Ellsberg and Bryan Franklin teach in their book “The Last Safe Investment” (coming out tomorrow, preorder it today).
    A traditional financial advisor would look at my “portfolio” and likely be shocked by how little I have in my retirement account. But, what I do have is so much more valuable.
    Because of the investments I’ve made (rather than shoveling money into retirement), I am able to receive guidance from the greatest business minds on the planet.
    This is True Wealth. With it I have the infinite capacity to create and the support I need to do it.
    Are you allocating your investment capital as wisely as you possibly can be given what true wealth really is? If you want to find out, use Michael and Bryan’s True Wealth Calculator here:
    And, be sure to pick up a copy of their new book The Last Safe Investment so you can start investing wisely for the new economy.…/…/ref=sr_1_1…
    The old ways just aren’t going to cut it. You know it, but maybe you haven’t known what to do about it. Now, you will.

  20. Eben Pagan the one the child rapist likes for his “criminal mind.” Enough said.

  21. What is it with the woo and fauxtos on airplanes and in airports? Planes and airports are small, cramped, uncomfortable, germ-filled spaces where everyone is cranky and just wants to get where they are going. No one is in the mood for your selfie stick or to step aside while your companion takes your pic for social media. How inconsiderate.

Comments are closed.