Happy Woo Year! Now With Donkey NYE Fauxtos!

caliwoo

While we wait to hear about Donkey’s epic New Year’s Eve and to find out if Ryan ever got back to her re: those “goal setting” templates, I thought we’d check in on her woo compatriots. Fozzie, back with his bros in California, told the “bullshit” crew he used to hang with just where they could stick their “spirituality.”

tinynnuts

TinynCute spoke up about how the polyamory racket privileges horny middle-aged men and Ali Shanti.

kenrussellhorrorshow

Ali Shanti spent NYE with Robert William Love, Jr., AKA The Jazzerciser, who looked like he’d escaped from a 1974 Ken Russell movie.

This one deserved its whole own post. Robert you are so rockstar.

Jess “Caterwauler” Johnson, Julia’s love-ah with the dulcet chords, and some equally ridiculous woo posted an annoying as fuck promo for an upcoming women’s empowerment shitfest. Hey, we all gotta eat!

Finally, Michael Ellsberg praised ex-wife Jena la Flamme for coming out of the closet. Uh, wasn’t she already out some time ago?

I’m so proud of Jena la Flamme for coming out publicly today. (See #11 via her link below.) Jena, you are such an inspiration for us all to follow our pleasure in life. I’m so happy you are now able to share out loud this great source of pleasure in your life. I love you soul-sister!

#11

In October I met a woman called Ria with whom I promptly fell in love. I’ve been bi-sexual since I was a teenager, and though I came out to my family and friends back then, out of caution, I never let my sexual orientation be known in my public profile. Until now.

When gay marriage was legalized this year, I thought, ok, Jena, it’s time to come out of the closet about being bi-sexual. Why are you insinuating that you only love men? Why are you hiding that you love women in this way too? What are you worried about? Finally the discomfort of concealing my truth has become greater than the risk of letting it be known, so here I am, coming out in my blog.

Again, I thought we’d been here before. Several times. But I wish Jena and Ria the best. Seriously.

inlove

Dammit to hell! Donkey posted her NYE fauxtos right after this post went up.  Behold, a quintet of tacky exhibitionists!

freakshow

wide stanc

tiarathief

wide mouth

creepazoids

Bottom Fan in the ‘Stan: Monika de Myer!

monika

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236 Responses to Happy Woo Year! Now With Donkey NYE Fauxtos!

  1. Fat and Drunk says:

    OMG JENA IS DATING ANOTHER BALDIE!!!!

  2. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    Donkers’ NYE photos are just up . . .

    • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

      JFAing to say I think her outfit is made out of holiday wrapping paper?

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Looks like another tacky flammable Yandy special.

          • Midwestern Verve Clicquot says:

            Ha! I hope she actually did grift this one, because paying 38 dollars for a yard of polyester that probably took some Bangladeshi orphan thirty seconds to assemble is a laughable use of funds.

            For most people, a piece of trashy club wear like this is a throwaway item worn once and given away to the local Salvation Army, but given that Donkey will wear this to every subsequent Burning Man, possibly it’s an investment piece. Klassy!

          • Aggressively Stupid says:

            I can’t even imagine buying actual clothes that I plan to wear out of the house from a website that offers a free pair of panties with each purchase.

          • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

            Good god. It IS from Yandy.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Holy shit, she has sunk so low that she is wearing flammable Yandy whorewear as evening wear. Whoa.

          • Toots McCracken (seeking a safe space to share your man's whole enchilada) says:

            Do people who wear outfits from Yandy actually wear panties?

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            The hookerwear on that site is super tacky, but Donkey could have picked something better than that rubber skirt.

            http://www.yandy.com/Its-A-Jungle-Out-There-Gown.php

            Maybe they picked it out for her. Grifters can’t be choosers.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            It is all prostitute-wear. It seriously is. Hookers must shop on that site. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a hooker. But this bitch is all WHY DO MEN STILL CHEAT ON WOMEN and she buys her clothes from a hooker site. Jesus, lady.

            I am surprised she didn’t go with something a bit more demure, like this …

            http://www.yandy.com/Hot-Pink-Keyhole-Front-Mini-Dress.php

          • Goodnight, Wangs says:

            tee hee… Donkey is actually wearing a $38 dress from YANDY!!! out in public!!! HA HA HA HA HAH AAAAA

            Remember when she was all “fashion week” this and designer fashion that… lol.

            This is toooooo rich.

            Can we have a post of just plastering her wearing this dress and then showing the Yandy listing over and over and over again.

            She has fallen, oh my how she has fallen. Trashy donkey is trashy.

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly, The Embodiment of Sarcasm says:

      Dammit to hell! Did she wait until I’d posted? These were not publicly available until 2 minutes ago.

    • Helena (Slutty Minnie Castevet) says:

      SSSF so not on FB or wherever this comes from: goal setting templates? W….TF?

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      Wow. That outfit makes the Chicago Bra Getup from her OMGJACKMCCAIN days look classy.

      • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Nose Ring says:

        The side boob!

      • melting marionette says:

        donkey’s left knee in her first pic – horse chestnut / night eye?

        • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

          WTH is going on there? And the way she bunched up the barcolounger skirt, as if it has a slit, why does she feel the to put the sequoias on full display?

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            She really does believe herself to have smoking hot gams. It is so weird.

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            She has the opposite of body dysmorphia. Body eumorphia?

          • Goodnight, Wangs says:

            Braymorphia

          • mcakez: Knob Polish Ambassador says:

            I think she thinks that showing them off will make them look less stumpy. Same reason she wears the hooker heels all the time.

            That isn’t body snark, by the way, just psycho-analysis.

  3. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    So did Donkey go to that sleazy New Years Eve sex party like she did last year? The one hosted by that skeevy Philippe guy from Burning Man?

  4. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    Hahaha i KNEW IT! Found her awful cheap dress on Yandy: http://www.yandy.com/Black-and-Gold-Flare-Dress.php

    $37.95. Or $0 if grifted.

  5. Midwestern Verve Clicquot says:

    Julia looks tired and old in those photos, certainly more so than any of her girlfriends. I find it amusing that Mia Cara has already gotten two comments about how great she looks, while Donkey is the one who posted and nobody has said anything like that to her.

    Look at that outfit.

  6. Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

    The last photo of JABA, the close up one with the prostitute, is proof positive she has never changed, not in the slightest. She may have gone through a half-dozen costume changes, but she’s still the same pelt-wearing, duck-lipped, exhibitionist moron she’s always been.

    • Goodnight, Wangs says:

      New nose though. And new chin. maybe new calve implants.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Yes. And I also realized…where else have we seen gold metallic mixed with black and her flashing her tits and ass for all the boys?

      And then it struck me. This is her 2015 low-rent version of condom fairy. Oh, Donkey.

  7. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Just think about how far she has fallen in the past five years. She’s gone from wearing designer frocks at New York fashion week and hanging with a senator’s son to rocking a recycled $37.00 garbage bag and partying with a bunch of shady, sex-obsessed grifters.

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly, The Embodiment of Sarcasm says:

      Karma?!

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      You know she’d spin this as “I’m not materialistic anymore! I don’t care about price tags or designer labels! I bring happiness to people around the world and I am not random!”

      • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

        Exactly what she must have told Davidiot before he came here to scold us — “Julia changed!” — problem is, change was inevitable because D0nkey burned all the bridges to all the status markers.

        • Goodnight, Wangs says:

          Remember how Smellsburg came here and implored us how Julia had changed and found a real lasting relationship with Avocado and was experiencing legitimate twue wuv forever? Or was that Derpin, I can’t keep all of her failed relationships straight.

          • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

            Derpin, but smElls also revealed that they fought like mofos, & didn’t that tip come because a rando basement dweller struck up a convo w/ smElls on the street, & smElls let the cat out the bag?

    • my greg it's full of stars says:

      Just making my annual comment here to agree and share my astonishment.

      I mean this is what she deserves, no question, but how rare is it to see karma delivered in such a tidy narrative?

    • Goodnight, Wangs says:

      Totally. I just posted this exact same sentiment in the thread above.

      I fucking love it!!!

      If you know, she didn’t front 5 years ago about how upscale she was demanding all designer labels and driving to the Hamptons in her “borrowed” ex’s Mercedes singing about how she was first class and flying on billionaires private posing in the library after hours in designer dresses for fauxto shoots…. applying to Harvard & Stanford business schools, speaking at fake club meetings at MIT, being on magazine covers, bragging in an interview about she was going to make Fuck you money and gloating about bagging a tech founder, even getting a reality show and book deal.. … all that just deflated and she fell to where she is now with this lame existence scratching together money to pay rent via an illegal sublet and shilling flimsy bras.

      The juxtaposition between where she THOUGHT she was going to be (and bragged about it) to where she ACTUALLY is… is so fucking rich I can’t get enough of it.

      If she didn’t front about it and just embraced who she is “yeah that’s right I’m a trashy, unemployed cheap ho and I wear $38.99 slut costumes from Yandy while skanking it up at grifter orgy parties” I wouldn’t hate as much, but the fact that she refuses to admit how far she’s fallen or own it is the biggest, juiciest, popcorn munching trainwreck of all for us to enjoy.

      It’s actually really awesome.

    • Epictetus Joke says:

      Actually, if you go all the way back to college she’s gone from hanging with a Senator to hanging with a Senator’s son to a $37 garbage bag.

  8. my greg it's full of stars says:

    Copyright infringementS! Multiples of infringing!

  9. A-Game Content says:

    Are those woolen knee socks?

    CWAA.

  10. Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Nose Ring says:

    What is it that Robert Whatever Love is measuring with his fingers 2 inches apart? Not that anyone expected more.

    • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

      I thought Mr Fierce was clawing the air. #RAWR

    • brayola crayon sharpener says:

      that is the height of the stack of condoms she asked him to carry for her in his forward-facing fanny pack

  11. How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

    WTF? is Icky Bobby Luv wearing? Cuz it looks like a bellhop jumper & a fanny pack …

    • For serious??? says:

      Excuse you, that is not a “fanny pack” It’s his “gear” and it’s exactly as conspicuous as it looks. It’s his way of signaling to everyone else in the party that he has drugs and paraphernalia. It’s very Burning Man/rave culture circa 1999 and I still can’t help but laugh and point “Hahahaha!!! You look like a Midwestern tourist in Times Square, asshole.”

      • brayola crayon sharpener says:

        he seems to have it on in many pictures when he is at some kind of gathering event

        does that not make him a target for getting mugged, though?

        • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

          He probably assumes no one would mug him at one of these “transformational festivals” because everyone who attends them is white.

          • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

            Just don’t go to Oakland! Or anywhere there are Oakland types. ( remember that CL post?)

      • Grammarian says:

        Dick in a box

  12. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

    What in the fuckery is that shiny thing with feathers Donka is wearing in pic #6?

    It looks like the genetically engineered spawn of a duck, a disco ball and NGMB’s dressing gown.

    • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Nose Ring says:

      Why would she pose with her behind thrusting toward the camera?

      • Norse Horse says:

        Depraved indifference towards other people’s eyeballs and sensibilities. What else is new.

    • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

      Was it this coat or was there a similar one in purple/multicolored that she wore during the Female Stereotypes to Archetypes stomp-stomp-flail ‘dance’ she ‘performed’ at BM?

      • donkey schoen says:

        I think there is a coat of many colors that she wore at the stompy stompy stomp flail. Her closet must look like a Goodwill store for Liberace Halloween costume rejects.

        • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Nose Ring says:

          Apologize to Liberace right now!

          • donkey schoen says:

            I will. He totally didn’t deserve that.
            Apologies to the big golden piano in the sky…

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            The Liberace Museum in Las Vegas was one of the most amazing places on Earth and I am so sad that it has closed.

        • Bride of Donkenstein (The Me I Am When I'm With You) says:

          ok someone really needs to grab “stompy stompy flail” as a screenname because that made me guffaw like….well, like a donkey

  13. Jelly Roll says:

    Quick cat lady bat signal: FOR THOSE WHO’VE DEALT WITH NPD in real life.
    I’m at “Christmas” with the in-laws (it was postponed because NPD brother in law showed his true colors at Thanksgiving). But now, some time’s gone by – and all they want to do is act like everything’s fine. They’ve all said/done horrible things about all of us over the last month – now suddenly they’re all here, together, playing a game and acting like they just stepped out of a fucking Norman Rockwall painting.

    I thought I’d be able to handle it. I really did. But now Mr. Roll is in their laughing and shouting with them like they’re the happiest family ever an I feel like I’m losing my mind.

    This is probably super disjointed (forgive me, it’s being written mid panic attack) — but in case any of it does makes sense: can I just ask: DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE – for dealing with an NPD asshat when they’re doing their fake best person ever routine (and everyone’s buying it but you)?

    Any and all thoughts ideas are so so appreciated.

    Ps. I wish y’all could hear the laughter – I’m stuck in any one do Julia’s gaping maw montages – and yes, it’s as hellish as you’d guess

    • Helena (Slutty Minnie Castevet) says:

      Echoing what grammarian says below: first of all, stay calm. Don’t let the NPD asshattery get to you. You know what you know, if others want to play games, that is their kampf, so to speak. I don’t want to sound like an armchair therapist, but keep in mind that you can’t really control what others are buying or not; focus on yourself and on your safe way of surviving the ordeal, which, going back to what grammarian said, is most likely staying low and out of it as much as possible. I hope there’s some kind of pleasant-ish distraction or something that can help you with that. Lots and lots of Bach, maybe? j/k

      Been there, done that, heard the hellish laughter; thinking of you and wishing you strength!

      • grammarian says:

        yes, exactly. you can’t control them. you can only control yourself. deprive them of drama, and — poof! — no drama.

        the only caution is if they are seriously violent or crazy and then they will continue to provoke until you exit, but these clowns don’t sound that bad.

        be careful, be safe. also, fuck them.

    • Bunsy says:

      Are you in your own house? Maybe you could just go upstairs to your bedroom and chill, take a hot bath, lay down on the bed and read for a while?

      Even though they are annoying as hell — maybe just take a break from them and try to overlook?

      (In any event: please keep us posted.)

      Are they your family, or the hubs’? Just wondering…

    • Rife with breakups says:

      I’ve been on a steady diet of the subreddit ‘Raised by Narcissists” for the holidays and it has been a lifesaver. It’s just so great to hear other people going through the same crap. They have a worst presents from N’s thread going that I love…my Nmom gave me an awl. I have no idea why, I have never expressed interest in awls or generally pokey things

      • Tingolayo says:

        LOL. I’m picturing you as you open the gift: “Oh. It’s….. an awl.”

      • mcakez: Knob Polish Ambassador says:

        My present from nmom was a phonecall asking me to send her money and hinting that she needs a nannycam because someone is stealing the meat from her freezer.

        nmom is super crazy. My solution is drinking constantly when she is around.

  14. grammarian says:

    stay calm. stay out of their way. don ‘t expect realness. be glad if nobody starts a fight with you. be glad if nobody does anything awful or says anything awful.

    if somebody starts shit, call them on it, quickly and calmly, and inform them you are not having it and immediately disengage

    i’ve found that’s all you can do: stay low, and if they nonetheless insist on starting shit, inform them that you will not be playing, and exit.

    • grammarian says:

      JFA to add: NPD means they will never never ever ever apologize for anything, and the sooner you stop asking for apologies the more of your own power you will regain, and the sooner you can take their weapon of, “no, i’m not wrong, you are,” away

      that said, if it’s just words, let it roll off

      if it’s worse than words, become radically non-involved

    • grammarian says:

      last JFA on this one: go to the store, buy paper towels; put gas in the car; clean up the kitchen; be useful and distract yourself

      • Jelly Roll says:

        Thank you – thank you – I so needed that

        • grammarian says:

          you’re welcome

          this site / cite / sight helped me see the light; i am forever grateful to the cat people

          things that didn’t feel right; that feeling, “am i taking crazy pills?”

          the gaslighting, the twisting everything, the turning the tables

          their motives are unknowable and their tools are many

          avoid avoid avoid

          and, if you have to, speak plainly and then exit

      • Jelly Roll says:

        JFa info myself to add – I’ve like entirely shut down – I’m basically moving from bathroom to bathroom to kitchen to outside… And I’m nit a shy person/introvert by any means – it’s like the guy’s literally sucked my spirit out of me – and I wish I could bounce back (bow up almost) and regain control – yet here I am (in the garage now) hiding

        • grammarian says:

          hiding is good. take a walk around the block. it will be time to go soon.

        • grammarian says:

          you cannot win in a face to face fight

          you can only win by keeping your distance

        • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Nose Ring says:

          I don’t know what my in-laws’ problem is, but I always have a book. I excuse myself to wherever we are sleeping (usually a hotel room, or my bedroom when they are here) and read. My husband and kids need a relationship with them, I don’t need one. I am super polite and greet them and provide endless meals and snacks and drinks, but then I read. I have so little time for reading normally that I find myself looking forward to their visits.

        • Titless Rainbow Romper says:

          I hear you SO HARD, Jelly. My NPD Mom will tear the house down and set it afire with her painful, horrific evil cuntery. Then, a few weeks later, it’s as if nothing happened, and what the fuck is your problem? Why are you not happy? Why are YOU bringing everybody down?

          I have spent 40 years trying to figure that shit out. I thought I was handling it, and then my father-in-law died last spring, and somehow, that brought out a level of asshattery never before seen in my mom. After a horrific scene, she was acting like nothing happened two weeks later.

          My husband literally leaves town when my mom comes to visit.

          Courage! And remember, you are NOT the crazy one.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            You are describing my mother. I am no longer alone.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Seriously – y’all are getting me through this.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            The only thing to do is disengage. My mother came to visit once and was a total asshole for three days, and by the end of it, I wouldn’t look her in the eye and responded only in one-word answers and pretended to be very busy on my computer working. That shut her down finally and when the cab came to take her to the airport, I cheered. But it honestly took me about three weeks to decompress from a three-day hell weekend.

          • grammarian says:

            the day i stopped asking for apologies and explanations was the day i started winning

            the bewilderment and befuddlement at the loss of power was enormous — you’re not going to cry and ask for explanations and have it turned around on you? nope, nope, nope. ha, ha, ha.

          • JB's PRISON OF FACEBOOK SMILES says:

            OMG everyone in my damn life!!!! I can’t anymore with all the forgetting. It’s like own your cray shit, at least I do.

          • Rife with breakups says:

            I know I already said this, but seriousl the Raised by Narcissists subreddit is great! Plus, it has the same initials as our RBN!

          • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

            Wow, bringing up a lot of crap for me.
            Talk about pretending nothing has happened…
            My brother (18mths older) used to terrorise me after school until my parents got home a couple of hours later. We had recently moved cities so didn’t know anyone and mom had to start working full-time instead of her previous job where she would be home for us after school. This was from approx 13-16yrs old.
            I would race home from school, tryng to beat him home so I could lock myself in my bedroom. I couldn’t even leave to go to the bathroom. He would scream and kick the sh*t out of my bedroom door and I had to pull my wardrobe against the door. He would take the door off it’s hinges. He would get a ladder and climb to my window and try to unscrew it. All to make me feel I wasn’t safe. The abuse, the degrading comments, ugh. When my parents came home I had to pretend nothing had happened and put a smile on my face and play happy families. I had told my parents about this but they became angry with me and yelled at me, told me to deal with it, hence me having to pretend everything was ok the second they got home. My parents couldn’t deal with him themselves but left me home alone defenseless against him and didn’t want to acknowledge what I was going through every day. He pulled crap all the time. As an adult, when I confronted my mom about it, she denied I’d ever told her. She would deny she knew it was happening, but at the same time say she couldn’t deal with him so what was she supposed to do? Dad refused to discuss it.
            Little messed up things, from my parents not just my brother, all through my life. With my parents everything has to be on their terms PERIOD. One of the last conversations I had when I confronted my dad about some other stuff, he was yelling and I told him to lower his voice, he said he could speak to me however he wanted, that I owed them for them raising me and all the money they spent when I was growing up. (Normal raising a kid expenses, not anything extravagent or owing them money). I’ve now been no contact from all of them for over 5 years and it was the best decision I made.
            Sorry for the overshare. The catpeeps with your stories and links to resources etc have helped me see a lot of what was going on and help me process it.
            tl;dr Families- ugh!
            Hope you are ok, Jelly Roll. Please let us know how things turned out. You’ll probable need to decompress and process for a while, so try to be easy on yourself and know that YOU are NOT the problem in this situation!
            Oh Greg, sorry this was so long!

          • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

            Dear god, this is disturbing. What became of your brother as an adult?

          • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

            He became…..a nurse! I sh*t you not. He works at a hospital for severely mentally retarded and physically handicapped people (sorry for this term, but people who are actually vegetables or extremely extremely low-functioning). He doesn’t abuse them but I think he likes having complete control and they can’t talk back/argue with him. He grew up and mellowed a bit; thank god he moved out when he was 18; still very aggressive if you stand up to him, nice on the surface but only if things are done his way immediately. He’s now a step-dad and was so controlling to the boys I said something during a family dinner when I was still in contact, and my whole family just wanted me to shut up and act like noing was wrong and there was no bad history.
            Another thing my mom would say is that she wouldn’t have been surprisd if I never spoke to him once I was an adult, while simultaneously denying she ever knew he was emotionally/mentally abusing me.
            Ugh. Sorry for another rant. I don’t actually feel rant-y, it’s just hard to answer succinctly.
            tl;dr basically they think he’s all grown up with his act together and pretend that nothing ever happened when I was younger and that we’re the perfect family….until I left!

          • Stalker is the New 5150 says:

            My son went to visit his dad and they got into an argument on the last day and his dad slammed his head into a window. Son came back here, two weeks later his dad’s calling “I have some of your stuff, you should come get it and we’ll hang out!”

            Like, this just happened (I found out about him slamming his head into the window on Xmas day and he went and picked up his stuff yesterday.)

            Luckily, son did not grow up with the dad around much so he can see it from a “isn’t this interesting” perspective to some extent. Still… it’s his dad… that put his head through a window.

          • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

            Stalker, that’s terrible! So sorry for you and your son; thank Greg his father isn’t really around much and that he has you there for him.

          • Stalker is the New 5150 says:

            Thanks, Nossy! :-* Here’s to everyone who hangs on to sanity even though someone who is supposed to care for them is peeling it away fingertip by fingertip.

  15. Jelly Roll says:

    I’m not doing great – got annoyed with the hubs (at least I only did so privately) but this is so foreign it’s feeling like fits and starts – I’ll do okay for 20 min and then feel like I’m falling down a rabbit hole. It’s exhausting – and I’ve had like ; glasses of wine (wish I hadn’t – but Lord so much cortisol)

    • Titless Rainbow Romper says:

      See my comment above. Also: I live 1000 miles away from my mom, as does my bro. I only see her when she visits my kids. But that twice to three times a year does my fucking head in, even at a totally expired 41 years old.

    • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

      Anything that doesn’t involve setting the house on fire is a victory with families as fucked as it sounds like this one is.

      Serious comment: think about taking up knitting or needlepoint. It is very calming when one is surrounded by other people’s crazy.

      Hugs.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Crosswords and sudoku — also helpful. Or a gigantic jigsaw puzzle.

      • Jelly Roll says:

        Not a bad idea – I need something – self medicating today with two much wine and lorazepam and my heart still feels like it’s going to come out of my chest

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

          Everyone has given far better advice than what I’m about to, so please take that into consideration. Before I was married, I built a home. Christmas Eve dinner was always dinner out with my family + my bf + his kids. The FIRST Christmas in my home, my (not yet/now former) MIL, who lived in the same city, told my BF who lived with me, that while we were at dinner with my family on Christmas Eve they’d like to use my house for their Christmas Eve party & were spending the night, and my bf agreed without even asking me.
          I called his mother and said respectfully, when we came home from dinner we’d like to spend our first Christmas eve after dinner in my new house alone & they were free to come over in the morning. She said she wasn’t going to be around forever (she walked out on her kids when they were young). I told her she should have thought of that before she walked out on so many Christmas’ when they were young. She called me a selfish bitch and said her son said it was ok and she was going to be at my house on Christmas Eve, then I told her that would happen over my cold dead body. She said no one had ever talked to her like that before and I was going to put her in her grave to which I responded, “Hurry up because I can’t wait to dance on it when you’re dead.” I’ve been divorced almost 10 years and I’d still dance on that woman’s grave.

          • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

            I’ll dance with you. Let the music play!

            What a messed up woman,the sense of entitlement to your home!

          • Grammarian says:

            Perfection

          • Jelly Roll says:

            No – honestly – all of this has been incredibly helpful – I can’t even thank you enough

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

            I guess my point, which I really forgot to make, is that my ex felt the need to please his mother who walked out, constantly overlooking abuse, which he, in turn, exacted on others. These people were the training wheels of learning about sociopaths & NPD for me.
            The upside in your situation is that your husband recognizes he can’t change them but is still a good person to you and others or hasn’t picked up their bad habits & selfishness.

    • grammarian says:

      there’s no point in trying to make sense of it because it doesn’t make sense

      recognize it and disconnect from it.

      • Jelly Roll says:

        That’s got to be the key.
        “No point in making sense of it because it doesn’t make sense” I just wonder how long it’s going to take me to be able to pull that off? Everything in my nature is about trying to understand people so “don’t try to figure these people out” is like saying “go live underwater”. What a mess.

    • Pass the Nachos Please says:

      @Jelly Roll, sorry I’m late to the discussion. Hope you got through the night ok. Please check out the Raised By Narcissists subgroup on Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/).

      • Jelly Roll says:

        Nachos – thank you – I’m sure I’ll become a regular over there
        And @Nos above – thank you for the story – I’ll take ’em all – they’re making me feel just so much less alone

      • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

        Glad you survived the night *hug*

        Pass the Nachos: thanks for linking this again. I’ve read it in the past when it has previously been linked here, and it wasn’t exactly right for me as I’m not sure if mom or dad were N’s. But I decided to have another look when you posted the link, and this time I found the ParentlessByChoice subreddit they had listed. It’s for anyone who is NoContact, and it’s helping a lot. Gotta love the CatPeeps <3

    • Lily's 3rd Eye says:

      My friend! I have a severely mentally family with a very severe NPD mom. My advice is:
      Go for a walk. Like 20 times a day, if you need to.
      if you do yoga, find a class and go, or go for a run.
      GTFO of the house and see normal people doing normal things
      Invent a work crisis and go to a coffee shop.
      If you fee you can’t get that far, just step outside and breathe
      The only thing that really hurled me with my crazy family stress was Al Anon they have phone meetings ( google them, you can just listen. ) .
      You are not alone.
      Al Anon

  16. AFGHANI DADSTER FRIEND says:

    *THE* Monika de Myer??? The one and only?

  17. JB's PRISON OF FACEBOOK SMILES says:

    Hey the CL link is to a post about girls who try to be the cool wife. Kinda like the Gone Girl stuff. Anyway, did she have a different post about polyamory? I can’t find it but I want to read that.

    I know some of you listen to the podcast “You Must Remember This…” I think you guys turned me onto it, esp the Charles Manson Hollywood series. She talks a lot about how sexist the whole “free love” of the 60s was. I think it’s pretty amazing for CL to call out sexism in polyamory! I always got that vibe from that world, but I couldn’t articulate it when I was younger, because it seemed like everyone was having fun as a willing participate.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Yeah. It is no surprise to me, since many of the dudes in that tribe are ex PUA. They’ve just figured out a way to sell promiscuity and cheating and coercion and wrap it up in a neat bow carrying a different name. If you don’t ascribe to the culture and are hesitant to want to screw the skeevy tribe leaders, the implication is that you are sexually repressed.

      • grammarian says:

        exactly. complete bullshit.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        And yet Donkey is so very smart! She reads the Economist, people! She grew up in a home without a television set, with lots and lots of Bach!! She once spoke at MIT!!! She pondered Harvard Business School!!

        How could she not have figured this out?

        • Goodnight, Wangs says:

          excuse you … she not only reads it, she UNDERLINES, puts exclamation points, arrows and margin notes, then instagrams her fat sausage snapper pointing at it!! … helloooo that’s like a billion more comprehensions points than actually just fucking reading it. Because all the social mediaizing about how sthmarth you are makes you even more smthath.

          Bonus points if you post lame nerd jokes and articles that your dad sends you because if you show how your dad is also sthmath you are smarth by association.

      • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

        @Grifty Yes, and furthermore, it appears that if you have doubts about joining in their polyamorous lifestyle, they will harangue you for hours on end until you break down. It’s so fucking weird and culty. (See Ali and her recent dalliance with a man who was *in relationship* with someone else, trying to break down his partner, and blaming/shaming Fozzie for being unevolved because he was uncomfortable with an open relationship. So it’s not just the PUA dudes and rabbi rapists, Ali is also predatory and manipulative.

        • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly, The Embodiment of Sarcasm says:

          Six hours “conversing” with Ali Shanti and I’d agree to anything, from letting her fuck my husband to giving her everything in my 401K.

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        Looks like she made it private.

          • Such happy. Many blessed. So lies. says:

            Faaarrrk. The face-palming idiocy and gross generalization of this girl is almost overwhelming. “I realized how much happier I am being around other millennials (after spending the last 5 years hanging out with people mostly in their 30’s and 40’s). Millennials & the younger generations are simply amazing. In general, there seems to be a huge leap in a person’s ability to express themselves, depending on whether or not they grew up with the Internet and rap/hiphop. THANK YOU RAPPERS for bringing the concept of being real into the mainstream, and for inspiring my generation to want to be.”

            THANK YOU MILLENNIALS for inventing everything essential to being human. Nothing real or expressive happened before you or rap came along.

          • dr. cupcake cray cray says:

            And she fails to acknowledge that some of those thirtysomethings ARE millennials. Different publications have different cutoffs, but generally they say the millennials start with those born around 1981, all of whom turned 34 last year. Duh.

            Personally I think we ‘early’ millennials got the best of both worlds. We didn’t have our noses glued to devices from birth so we all still knew the joy of playing outside, but still grew up with computers and the internet so we’re not technologically illiterate.

            Fucking know-it-all-twentysomethings…get off my lawn!

          • Such happy. Many blessed. So lies. says:

            Not to mention that rap and hip hop have had a strong influence on pop culture since the 70s. Kanye and Jay-Z didn’t invent rap. Or realness. But I’m almost prepared to believe that Caeli invented solipsism. CWAA.

          • Norse Horse says:

            After 5 years in 3 massively painful open relationships (which I am very grateful for, but will never do again, at least not until long after I meet my babydaddy & build a solid long-term relationship & have kids)

            This has me howling laughing. “5 years in 3 massively painful open relationships”. What a trainwreck, I mean, what is wrong with this enlightened millennial that she racked up such a disastrous mess of a personal life? Sorry she thought that recipe for disaster was ever going to work.

          • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

            Rappers brought the concept of realness along?
            W.T.F??!
            Um, yeah, so thankful for that realness. Without it I wouldn’t know that women were bitches, ho’s and gold diggers, that real men use guns and violence, drugs are awesome etc (yeah, I’m generalising and exaggerating but that’s part of the point for CL).

            Without the internet allowing millennials to be more open, we wouldn’t have snark sites and RBD wouldn’t exist, so I guess that’s CL’s revenge on a certain sister-backstabbing Donkey?

            Not all Expired’s are closed off, uncommunicative or tech illiterate. Just like, thankfully, not all Millennials are prone to believing the garbage that CL just spouted. I hope she does some fast growing up.

          • grammarian says:

            the technology that the millennials grew up playing with: INVENTED BY PEOPLE OLDER THAN THEY ARE

            the stupid, it burns

          • Helena (Slutty Minnie Castevet) says:

            Yeah, sorry, but girl is an idiot. How old is she? Not THAT young, is she? At any age over 18 this is inexcusable. “The concept of realness”? “The ability to express themselves”? Has she ever had a history class or read a book? I ask as a rap lover.

          • Not! Random! says:

            I’ll give her this much: She’s more literate than Donkey, an OMG writer, and can actually analyze herself and where she’s gone wrong, unlike most of our woo friends.

          • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

            CL’s cognitive abilities are not exactly top notch: she is a 9/11 truther.

            If she wasn’t a very hot chick all those DJs wouldn’t give her the time of day, her dancing is just contorting her hot body while on drugs.

          • Grammarian says:

            911 truther? No bigger fools.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            “THANK YOU RAPPERS for bringing the concept of being real into the mainstream.”

            Methinks Rich Tong needs to have a talk with this girl.

          • Tingolayo says:

            The woos act like punk rock is just some obscure thing that happened to other people, and then Phuture God Rain Shaman Experience started bravely plinking away on his computer with two fingers and radically shifted the world’s consciousness. ENLIGHTENMENT REPRESENT Y’ALL.

            Also, Dr Dre is 50.

          • Grammarian says:

            None more basic

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            They forgot about Dre.

  18. brayola crayon sharpener says:

    looks like the JZCR and SK3B are going through the “honeymoon” phase of their relationship

    Vegas is now taking bets on what will be the tipping point that sets things into a downward spiral.

  19. GiggleFairy says:

    PAID? UNPAID? WHAT DO I CHOOSE?

    Julia Allison
    13 mins · San Francisco, CA ·
    Hibernation Mode: I will be off of Facebook for the next few months to focus on creative projects. Please do not FB message me, as I won’t see it. Enjoy your New Year smile emoticon

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Oh my God how many times. The next few months? Sure.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

      Cleaning up her truthful negative SEO. It’s already happening.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Or she doesn’t want anyone to know that she’s moving back to Chicago with her tail between her legs?

        • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

          I’m wondering if it’s all part of a deal she made with Pete. Pay to clean up her SEO, move back home & get a job or no more $. This would shock me none.

          • Helena (Slutty Minnie Castevet) says:

            Moving back home, I can definitely see that. Getting a job, not so much. Perhaps I under/overstimate Donk/Dadsers, but I don’t know.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

            Oh, silly rabbit, I mean she’ll agree to get a job, but we all known (including the two of them) that’s it just a smokescreen for cost containment.

          • Grammarian says:

            Such a lovely time of year in chicago

        • Goodnight, Wangs says:

          …. please… please be the case!

          I think she needs time off from social media in order to cook up her next persona and develop her newest schemes.

          • Not! Random! says:

            Exactly. Her return to Chicago has to be spun as a triumphant return, and that’s going to take some time and a whole new persona. Let it unfold.

        • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

          Yeah, & “Creative Projects” = where in the omg! downtown stall! to display pictures of herself.

          • Tingolayo says:

            Hiring a Task Rabbit to hang her pre-fab Target curtains, then braying about how she spent hours lovingly decorating her comfy, delightful home.

    • Bunsy says:

      BOOK? BOOK? BOOK? BOOK?

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      OVERARCHING MUSIC THEORY SCHOOL AND FAST TRACK VIRTUOSO.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      She just doesn’t want to turn 35 on FB…

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Is she actually suspending her page or is she saying she’s just not going to look at it?

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        She just says “off Facebook.” Sounds like the profile stays up, but with the prethentation and pertheption of theriouth buthineth laydee, with lotth of profetthional makeup but without the glitter nailth.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Oh, and of course, I bet BOOK lie will remain up until she unveils her newly revised self. Because BOOK DEAL is what mattered most. Not actual BOOK.

  20. How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

    Donk’s new profile pic: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10101312429587395&set=a.677691992665.2245391.1402715&type=3&theater Hmmm … new fauxtoshoot for (another self-arranged) announcement of (another) homecoming & (another Dad$er-procured) Chicago gig?

    • grammarian says:

      unless the gig includes, “do you want fries with that?” it’s not legit

      • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

        New gig = expert in the field of music?

        • grammarian says:

          maybe the parent$ know a progressive daycare that needs hippie clowns and entertainers to sing and dance for the littles.

          • bobluv's forward-facing fanny pack says:

            yes! or one of those overly-energetic day camp leaders at resorts, cruise ships, etc. who takes the kids out on excursions and activities

        • grammarian says:

          cruise ship entertainer!!!

          • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

            I’m still holding out for her final gig as a home-shopping network hostess before she becomes the next ex-wife of Dad$er’s late-40’s CPA.

          • bobluv's forward-facing fanny pack says:

            worse yet- REALITY TV show about a struggling artist who starts her way at the bottom doing cruise ship gigs

            series title: The Love Boat (reloaded)

            remember, that’s how shania twain got noticed!

          • How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

            Faking her way into a gig booking balding DJ’s, I mean: musical acts, would surprise no one.

            Whatever it is, I already want to jump ahead to the hoofball pot where we wager how long it lasts.

            I’LL TAKE “WHAT IS FOUR MONTHS”, ALEX

          • Not! Random! says:

            It lasts until she has something to bray about again. A boyfriend, a gig, a Yandy photo shoot … the sky is the limit.

          • Tingolayo says:

            I’ll take The Rapists three weeks, Alex.

    • grammarian says:

      that skirt is so short, there is bare ass on the chair

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Steven Grossman liked it, isn’t that her (maybe ex?) agent?

      Nice Joker face, and wow, scheme juices are flowing, and a Hail Mary reinvention is clearly in progress. Looks like a woo-ectomy is a possibility, if these are the two ID pics she’s chosen. Unless these are her first images for some coaching grift she is planning to launch after that enlightening moment at Tony Robbins when she realized her true calling (*snort*). Whatever it is, it will end up just being a phony façade just like everything else she has pretended to do. She will never do all the hard work it takes to actually succeed at anything.

      And I wonder how the Morins feel about her continuing to co-opt their Brit&Co ‘think creatively’ event exhibit materials as her main FB image and playing all spokesmodel in front of it?

      Desperate Donkey is desperate.

    • Tingolayo says:

      That is frightening. And pointless.

  21. bobluv's forward-facing fanny pack says:

    i hate to say this, but it kinda reminds me of those groups of women in college who go out at night dressed up all slutty thinking that it will get them attention from men, when in reality, it is only the drunk and desperate dude just before bar closes that will approach them

  22. How Brayella Got Her H00ve Back says:

    YOOHOO I LOVE YOU FAMOUS PERSON WHO DOESN’T KNOW ME
    https://www.facebook.com/jasonlsilva/videos/1643397459257866/

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Gilly, The Embodiment of Sarcasm says:

      Maybe he’ll send her those goal-setting templates that Ryan forgot all about?

      • Helena (Slutty Minnie Castevet) says:

        Yes, this reminds me, sorry, I still have no idea what this is about. Don’t know if the whole mysterious “goal setting template” thing is worth a new post, but I for one have a feeling I could probably use it for a laugh.

        • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

          I’ll find it for you.

        • Aggressively Stupid says:

          Not that big of a deal. She met a founder at the Tony Robbins event who runs a founder collective thing and she bragposted that she texted him personally for a goal setting template. The template she linked to in that post is publicly available on the collective facebook.

  23. bobluv's forward-facing fanny pack says:

    why does SK3B have “beauty” written in marker across the knuckles on the back of her hand?

  24. Jelly Roll says:

    Really really thank you guys for last night – we had to stay overnight, the NPD left (although now I’m thinking he got it from his Dad, so I should probably ammend it to 1 of the NDPs left). Feel like now I have to go me miss perfect Mary Sunshine. And…clearly still trying to play their fucked up game. Greg help me

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I have learned that NPD tends to wither away in the face of Complete Sadistic Psycho. Opening up with both barrels can be a way to clear the air. The NPD Stepford Smiler greeting “How are you doing?” when answered with “Fine until I saw the sugar-coated asshole you call a face” tends to shut them down.

      If you can’t manage that, Cleary Cray-Cray sometimes leaves them so puzzled that they have no idea how to proceed with the usually round of mind-games.

      Attend the next family dinner wearing a bunny suit and hand them chocolate eggs when they open the door. Or arrive carrying a set of fire extinguishers and attempt to sell them one along with a free set of steak knives. Name your elbows and apologize to them when you put them on the table. Start a discussion about how a brandied fruitcake could theoretically collapse into a black hole. Demand that the remains of the turkey see a proper Christian burial.

      Hours of fun, really.

      • Grammarian says:

        I bow

      • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

        I hope the turkey kindly donated its feathers to the Shantress before immolation.

      • Eh... says:

        I want to marry you.

      • Dean says:

        I have some very self-centered, very arrogant family members (I won’t go so far as to say NPD), and I sort of take this approach with them. They know me well enough to know when I’m approaching scortched-earth levels of pissed and cut the shit.

        I think the difficult thing with in-laws is that your spouse is stuck in the middle. My MiL got drunky last time I visited and raged at me for not ‘showing enough respect’ to my husband (there are some wild culture differences at play, and I think I’m very respectful… I’m just not subservient). Now, had that been my mother, I’d have it shut down in 30 seconds flat. But it wasn’t my mother — it was his.

        I’m dealing with the worst person I’ve ever met as a senior (not actually — lateral position, but both older and more experienced than me at work, which is a big thing in this culture — I’m not allowed to even use her name, for example) at work, and it’s more of a tightrope. I don’t want everyone there to think I’m crazy. I have found that a confused, very mildly disgusted look and the equivalent of, “Um… yeah, so anyway…” gets me a lot further with her than anything else. Trying to answer back either plays into her hands or gives her the opportunity to make another move. It might be worth a shot in an in-law situation to just express very mild disapproval for whatever’s just been said and then rapidly change the subject (derail whatever the person is playing at).

        I’m sorry you’re going through that, Jelly Roll. I know how it feels to be trapped in an in-law situation — stuck between wanting to make a good impression and form relationships and not wanting to let someone walk all over you. It’s very claustrophobic. I haven’t been back to visit my in-laws since that incident for the same reasons.

    • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

      You poor thing! I thought you had managed to escape and were safely home.
      I’m imagining you doing your Mary Sunshine act as a scene from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but kinda inverted where you’re making that horrible screaming noise on the inside.

      You can do it, don’t engage if you feel it will push you too much and if you need to hide, do it. Busy yourself with packing to go home, say you want to take a quick walk (weather permitting), whatever you need to do to get through it. Find some cute cat, dog or bunny clips online if that works for you, I find it can temporarily help distract me from some stressors. When you get home, maybe make Mr Roll deal with Mini Roll/s for a while so you can have some time to decompress. Take some ‘Me time’ … just don’t use Lah Lee as an example! You don’t need a bullet in your ass when you already dealt with many pains in it last night/this morning 😉

  25. Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

    On the subject of the Woo’s NYE pictures, SK3B posted this pic and asked people to caption it (brave girl!) and one Chris Durante wrote “Always on my back?”.

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1061610087214998&set=a.181817165194299.39249.100000980508989&type=3&theater

    My caption would be “Drugs are bad, mmmmmmmmmmmkay?”.

    • Handbag Is Merging Her Two Identities says:

      Could someone remind me why we call her SK3B?

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        Skankatron 3 Billion, I think.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          I never quite understood the Skankatron reference. I thought it might be some pop culture thing I wasn’t aware of. Like a robot prostitute or something.

        • Wolf, Hemmingaway and Khaat Whores says:

          Skankatron 3000-B.

          In the beginning it was Pocket Skank, that more PC cat ladies changed to Pocket Raunch.

          Then when aforementioned catladies realized what a Major Skank she is, we started calling her Skankatron 3000, like she was some kind of sex machine that would f-ck anything that moves.

          Since she likes to announce the birth of a “new me” in every newsletter, Skankatron 3000 became Skankatron 3000-B, a new model, abbreviated SK3B.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

      In top picture (post) it’s painfully obvious she should never pose next to jazzersize, two of his legs make one of hers. I’ve never known women outside of this woo-thing that this needy for male attention; and, I had a friend in college who gave out blowjobs in lieu of handshakes.

      • Tingolayo says:

        What makes a grown man want to wear spandex unitards? “What are you wearing to the party, Robert?” –“A spandex unitard.” “Do you guys remember my friend Robert?” –“The one who wears spandex unitards? Yes, I remember him.”

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          To Achieve Maximum Exposure of Junk: don spandex unitard.

          To Cover Lack of Junk: don frontal fanny pack

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        THE MASCULINE

    • Norse Horse says:

      She looks like one of those elderly hoarders who get pinned down when their junk crashes on them and they die alone. Premonition of the future for her?

Comments are closed.