Updated: The Woo Birdies Finally Sing


Donkey’s latest stolen boyfriend

Guess what? Once an asshole, always an asshole!

From our inbox:

“Julia had become friendly with a couple, a DJ, Rain Phutureprimitive, and dancer, Caeli La, who had an act called “Phutureprimitive” together, and were in a serious relationship for years.

Well, Rain cheated on her, broke up with her over email the next day, then completely disappeared and would not acknowledge her at all for over a month and a half.

She called Julia to get advice/comfort/whatever and then two weeks later, Donkey started fucking him.

Donkey and Rain started dating only weeks after he ended their relationship in such a shitty way — and before he had talked to her at all. Donk then convinced him to hide it from Caeli for over a month and a half. They made everybody in the Camp Septic community keep their  secret, causing a massive rift in the group.

There are now many of them who won’t even camp there because Julia’s there, and don’t want to associate with it anymore, because they don’t want to be associated with her.

Because of Julia’s scheming, lying, and forcing other people to lie for her, Caeli was the last person to know and had to find out from a third party who accidentally let it slip. When she confronted Julia, Ye Olde Braye was condescending and egocentric.”

And more:

“Devin refuses to speak to her and his current girlfriend hates her with a passion, due to Julia STILL sending him naked pictures and completely disrespecting their relationship.”

Update, from Gilly: Nothing new to report on FutureExBoyfriend, but I did come across something as I was checking for possible fauxtos/coverage re: tonight’s Camp Septic dance ensemble.  O.K., which one of you basement dwellers poked the gold digger?

future fuckface

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449 Responses to Updated: The Woo Birdies Finally Sing

  1. not obama's speechwriter says:

    And we’re back!

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

      This is too, too delicious – I really need to check my mailbox every morning!

      • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

        JFAing myself to note that Future Fuckface is SLIGHTLY better looking than Avocado, but then Joseph “John” Merrick was better looking than The Lollipop Guild.

        • Bunsy says:

          What’s with the rosary? So edgy!

          (And the undershirt, and that tats… wow.)

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            43 years old!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I don’t think it’s a rosary. I’m not seeing the lowest part as a cross, nor am I seeing the traditional five beads & five sections. That said, I am intentionally remiss in my Catholicism, so I may be wrong here.

          • Dust in your toot-toot says:

            Brayella, the rosary is ten beads. I did double check because I am an absent Catholic as well and here’s the wiki description:

            The prayers that essentially compose the Rosary are arranged in sets of ten Hail Marys with each set preceded by one Lord’s Prayer and followed by one Glory Be

          • Burro Butt says:

            The rosary has 10 beads than the one big bead. That whatever he is wearing has one bead then a bunch of beads so opposite of an actual rosary.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I just googled rosary bead images to refresh my memory (I thought I remembered the # ten in conjunction w/ beads per section — believe it or not, I had two aunts who were nuns & the one who remained a nun, I can remember her touching the beads as she went, like a countdown) — there’s this: http://www.cliparthut.com/clip-arts/1281/rosary-beads-meaning-1281129.png

            Wow. I really have blocked out Catechism.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Also, to clarify: what I meant by “five beads” are the five beads above the cross. I can’t tell if the part around his neck is five sections of ten beads.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

        Sweet muther of fuck (cited: Jacy) that was a treasure trove of Donkey Dung. DJ Dumps On Donk will crush her like he did the last one only much, much sooner.

    • crazytrain says:

      I forgot how much I missed when we had little birdies on the reg. Praise Greg they’re back!

  2. Pass the Nachos Please says:

    Wow, way to shit where you eat, Donk.

    And thank you to the woo tipster. First!

  3. Morrocanwear with Antlers says:

    I love birdies! She has evolved so much. It is a puzzle how she could still be unmarried.

  4. Super Anonymous says:

    Manna from Heaven.

  5. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Unbelievable (and by that I mean completely believable.)

  6. Who do you think you are? says:

    I don’t know why I am stunned, because this is far from my first Donkey rodeo, but holy shit.

  7. LakeWooBeGone says:

    I’m impressed with donkey outdonking herself.

  8. ShesJustStupid says:

    Is this saying that they’re still in a relationship?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

      Oh no! Still, Caeli looks like a young Theresa Russell and I’d take Theresa over Donkey any day of the week.


      • Super Anonymous says:

        I’m getting a LC vibe.

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        She blogged her heartbreak and I feel sad for her. I hope she is happier now.

        I mean, yeah, dim and privileged and woo-y, but she’s young and may grow out of all of that. A Donkey never will.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Wow, the poor girl. She was/is really suffering. She makes reference to a couple of wise women friends in some of those posts — shame on you, you goddamned dirty donkey! That is such a violation.

        • On 04-29-2015, she still considered Jackassilon a friend ( http://www.caelila.com/blog/april-29th-2015 ) — for how long had Julia Allison been fucking her boyfriend at that point, I wonder?

        • I have to say, even though I’m quickly skimming over her posts while I halfway watch a tv show, I do like her writing somewhat — she actually has things to say, rather than the typical word salad of the woo set, or the inane braying of la d0nk the backstabbing raftass.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            She is actually a pretty good writer, and extremely beautiful. A gorgeous woman. A woo, but seemingly more literate and guileless than the rest of them.

          • Jacy, did you read her poem? I thought it was very touching, & then her childhood pic at the end is so on-target. I admire her resolve to be strong & the way she reiterates it to herself in different ways.

          • Tingolayo says:

            It’s funny– reading anything that Julia has written, including back in her pretending-to-be-a-journalist phase, you can’t help thinking what a delusional jerk she is, how unfunny she is, and how you would never want to know her as a person. I couldn’t even make it through the “book” “proposal,” it was that bad.

            On the other hand, in reading just a few of CL’s blog entries, I was feeling empathy for her, enjoying her writing style, feeling her as a human and not a plastic poseur fake journalist like Donk. THAT is effective blogging, not Donkey’s dumb tee-hee-hee-I-like-a-boy or overblown I-fell-to-the-floor-sobbing.

            Mulia Mallison, ALWAYS doing it wrong.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          A Donkey never will. Nor be young again either. Supplemented that for you.

        • Delicious discharges says:

          Yes. I’ve been in a similar situation and I really feel for her. That amount of betrayal is really hard to get over. Glad people are supporting her, because it’s a lonely feeling

        • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

          I hate that I know this, but I wondered what had happened between Rain and CL, b/c they had a long standing symbiotic relationship and then suddenly not. Wowzers. I did not see hoof prints on this.

          • Tingolayo says:

            Who… WHO… would ever A Donkey? I don’t get it.

            So it’s sounds like FutureWhatever didn’t leave cute, young, talented, tiny CL for A Donkey; rather, they’d broken up and he rebounded into a fling with A Donkey and A Donkey was so desperate that she rutted with a sister’s ex while the sister’s side of the bed was still cold. Makes more sense than ANYONE leaving ANYONE for A Donkey.

          • Aggressively Stupid says:

            It sounds like the good DJ cheated when someone else then broke up with the tiny and cute. A Donkey capitalized on that broken relationship after the fact like a person of class.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

        She’s very pretty a cross between Miley Cyrus pre-meltdown and Miriam Shor.

  9. MY wet spot says:

    So is Calla Lilly at camp septic? At BM?

    Leave it to donks to violate the minimal rules of engagement of the woos. Never change!

  10. I think I said it best back in October of 2011 about Julia’s fetish for taken men.

    “Donk loves her some sloppy seconds”

  11. Albie Quirky in Exile says:


    Plus, Phutureprimitive is a pal and collaborator of Avocado’s!

  12. Gimme Pig of Love says:

    This guy sounds like a prize! So pretty much this is going to end when he cheats on Donkey, too?

    Also, lol, who calls Donkey for relationship advice???

    • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

      He’s going to be on tour from mid-September through the end of December, so you know it’s going to happen. Unless she goes with him as Ritual Stroke Victim Dancer, of course.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Well she did say she was going to be off the internet after BMW so maybe…

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          BM not the car

        • Random Snowflake™ says:

          Ohhhhh shit. This may explain the whole 2 months detox from the Interwebs, or whatever the hell she was going on about?

          Now that she might be a pariah within wOO circles she needs to step back, regroup and come up with a good scheme/lie to get back in their good graces?

    • Pass the Nachos Please says:

      Run, Phutureprimitive, run!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Who do you think you are??? Donkey is a relationship and happiness expert!!!

    • Also, lol, who calls Donkey for relationship advice???
      In future, everyone who wants to be rid of their SO.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      If she’s been involved with him for just a month or two, that means there’s only a month or two left until her typical expiration date with relationships.

      Derpin was an outlier because he was sort of dorky. These DJ guys have women flinging themselves at them all the time. No way he’s going to be sticking around with Ms. High Maintenance Hell.

    • Morrocanwear with Antlers says:

      She is a relationship expert! Can’t you tell by the way she relationships?

  13. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    I love the bonus tidbit about Derpin and his girlfriend and the naked Donkey pictures. Thanks, tipster!

  14. Grifty Shades of Bray says:


    I remember Caeli La white knighting Donks last year at the time when NE challenged them with “What does ‘Oakland type’ mean?” on Donkey’s FB. In fact it was Caeli white knighting Donkey that ended up getting NE blocked. And now she stabbed Caeli in the back by fucking her boyfriend.

    Do we know when she started dating Rain? Is Donkey dancing for him now? Are they still dating?

    Welcome woo birdies, and thanks.

  15. grammarian says:

    second verse, same as the first
    latest verse, even worse

  16. woopocalypse says:

    i know Caeli from years ago, and am actually facebook friends with her.

    i can’t confirm if any of this is true, but i know she went through a terrible breakup, i know she used to be friends with JA on facebook, and i can say for sure that they are no longer friends on facebook.

  17. woopocalypse says:

    i will add, that she is a very sweet girl. very into the woo-life, yes, but doesn’t have a nasty bone in her body. i feel for her, donkey is the absolute worst.

  18. i.just.can't! says:

    this was donkey’s plan with bear and katiyana but no bite from bear. she is the worst. so fucking manipulative, is she ever not scheming?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

      As it has been no doubt her plan with Dave & Brit. My God, Julia Allison is a horrible, horrible excuse for a human being.

      • i.just.can't! says:

        and jena la flamme and michael ellsberg. jordan and kendrick? theres probably more.

        • Random Snowflake™ says:

          The only one I’m sure she wasn’t was Brant Stead 🙂

        • Dusty Documentary says:

          I got the strong feeling Kendrick nevered the Donkey.

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            Hence the Great Tiara Caper, etc.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            Agree, even before he lost his day job due to returning late from Donkey’s Aspen gig (grifted from Prom King) because of travel complications (and which Donkey thought was hysterical and tweeted about accordingly.) And of course Jordo’s and Kendi’s Donkey travails were blessings in disguise; they probably now sit around the pool in their new (OMG Silicon Valley adjacent) San Jose house and laugh and laugh about their brief besmirching with donkey dung. (But don’t let the laughter distract from toddler pool safety protocols, kids.)

          • Dyspeptic's Yahoo Happiness Vertical says:

            Remember when Donks showed up with Jordache at Kendrick’s band’s gig? Good times.

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            Was that in Brooklyn? The only time I believe Donkey has stepped foot in Brooklyn.

        • Sad Rat In Sidewalk (Would Only Go If I Spoke) says:

          OMGBears and Karp

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Her plan with Corey Glazier too, no doubt.

  19. My Parent's Gave Me Ten Measly Grand says:

    Wow. Christmas in September.

    She’s such a cunt.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat Whores says:

      Yes, and, once again, her cuntosity has outcunted itself.

      Just when you thought she could not be more of a cunt, she takes advantage of a “sister” and steals her bf.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        This is the only thing she is good at and keeps getting better at with age, outdoing her own horrid self.

  20. Tingolayo says:

    And how do YOU plan to celebrate National Sisterhood Day, Julia Allison?

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

      Has anyone informed Misha Noodley, self-proclaimed Women’s Leadership Coach and Loving Sister, of Donkey’s violations? Surely there should be some sort of tribunal?

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Moodley is currently on Necker Island courtesy of ferris no doubt.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

        I’m waiting for Shanti, with her slinky-like vagina, to saunter up to him cracked out with her rack out while Fozzie cries in the corner and Julia plots her death.

        • Braying Lady Crony says:

          “cracked out with her rack out”

          You have been *slaying* me with your Skank-accuracy.


          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

            Ha thank you-I’ve been re-writing/editing some stuff from when I had a more interesting life (or any life). The crow’s feet comment was originally attributed to one of my old managers who looked like one of those shruken shellacked apple heads kids make in school, when the girl sitting next to at sales training commented on his deep lines that was my response (we’ve been friends ever since). “Cracked out” was the response to one of my guy friends who insisted loudly & often he was gonna “rock out…” Asked one of my friends in Vegas to “take one for the team” since the hotel had bad cell reception and she was umm already rather “inviting” that trip anyway.
            weathervane-not mine (but an inside joke from an old movie) I had to google the movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRmLGYSc0XQ

  21. Donkey Dancer, Duh says:

    She’s never going to change.

    All the way back from the beginning when she cheated on her live-in fiancé with
    a married NY dude.

    Serious question: is this some weird payback for being dumped by PROM date?

    • grammarian says:

      i’m thinking the only men she can attract are the shitty cheating men

    • goodnight, wangs says:

      I think she never got over getting dumped by [Redacted]- that just hit her soo hard because she always thought she was above/better then [Redacted] (she wasn’t).

      • Random Snowflake™ says:

        I think the [Redacted] breakup really was quite a blow to her over-inflated ego, and she never got over it. Now I think “stealing” a man from another woman makes her feel “better” than the other woman in her feeble mind. Like she “won” something.. when the poor other woman never even knew they were in a competition.

      • Sake Bombardier says:

        Plus he vagina-lip-dubbed sister Leven right after Julia paid for their trip to Cabo.

        Mid-priced whore, you’re always doing it wrong, Julia Allison Baugher!

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        She was a cunt far before [Redacted]. What she never got over was being an ugly duckling in high school who got dumped right before the prom by her debate team boyfriend.

        • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

          Which came first, scamming her birthday party at the cunty club or stealing the relative’s Barbie? Because I vote for that as the start of The Bad Seed 2: Donkey Boogaloo.

          • Random Snowflake™ says:

            Her parents richly deserve all the embarrassment their idiot spawn has brought upon them.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            First was Barbirgate.

            If the birthcray story really happened, IF, it was most likely orchestrated by NGMB’$ in attempt to undermine Mom$er’s disciplining of Bratty McBrat.

            Then (I’m just thinking out loud here), Dad$er didn’t stand up to NGMB’$, & Mom$er said Fuck. It., never to discipline Bratty McBrat again.

            Hence, a Slutty McSlut was born.

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      I think this started when bitch stole her cousin’s Barbie on Christmas morning and got away with it.

    • Little Orphan Lilly says:

      I think Julia views men as a sort of currency among women/society. If a man is already taken that makes him worth more, so Julia managing to never him = Julia’s worth goes up.

      Meanwhile in reality, as someone smarter than me put it, dick is abundant and low value. But gold star for you, Donks, I’m sure this will definitely be the thing that makes your life perfect!

  22. Dances with Hooves says:

    I mean, she’s really never been a girl’s girl (despite valiant attempts to prove otherwise) but damn. Maybe just try to pretend you respect the females in your life whom you consider friends or sisters. POS Donkey.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      Agreed. She’s never been a real girl’s girl. There’s always been an agenda for every female “friendship” she’s ever had — and eviscerated.

      Pass The Nachos’ earlier comment about Donkey shitting where she eats pretty much sums it all up.

  23. Albie Quirky in Exile says:

    He is so defeating my Nancy Drewing of his birth name. All I’m coming up with is that he was a skateboarder and lived at one point in a shitty 355 square foot apartment with ugly carpeting.

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      That pretty much says it all.

      Of course, keep digging, LOL!

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

      AQ if anyone can do it-you can. Rain (not his real name-ha! really?) was a nickname given to him by an old gf. He was a DJ in the 90’s? or maybe a different one? That’d put him in or close to 40ish range. Guessing there’s something good under all the name changes.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

        JFA’ing I’m sure you already are light years ahead but last name might be Redfield from Oregon.
        Not sure:
        waveform records did his first album
        which then this popped up DJ R
        http://ssounds.com/meet-the-staff/rain-redfield/ but doesn’t look like the same guy. And with that my head hurts.

        • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

          Our Rain was born in California and then moved to Eugene, Oregon, probably as a child.

          There are like ten DJ Rains. It is infuriating.

          I think his last name begins with M, but if so that is a very common last name.

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            Awwwww yisssss! I have got it now.

            His birth name is so completely the opposite of Phutureprimitive, it’s hilarious.

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            He’s 43, it seems.

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            He was an Eagle Scout!

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

            This is why you are my hero. I’ve never seen such a carefully crafted story so consistently told over the internet. As a kid sitting at the piano (no photo support)…
            I am popping popcorn now!

      • Random Snowflake™ says:

        A’ight.. so am I to understand that Rain’s name might be totally made up, like all the other wOO’s, and his parents aren’t really Sally and Frank Phutureprimitive (complete with the moronic Ph in place of an F) ??? Of course I have heard of some folks changing the spelling of their name at Ellis Island when they arrived. 😀

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      But no Pizza Hut tables?!


  24. mcakez says:

    Someone needs to send up the cat signal, for we are so blessed! Blessed are we, indeed!

    We couldn’t be here without the normal, healthy Julia that she is today!

    Remember when she was sharing a condo with Jack McCain?

    I’m in the chatroom, fer the red.

  25. goodnight, wangs says:

    Remember when she thought she was going to marry herself a rich tech founder and get a Harvard/Stanford MBA and make Fuck You Money selling Nonsociety? Lolollololol. She has fallen soooo far and soooo hard. Haha, stupid donkey.

  26. Mainstream Entrepreneurial Donkicles says:

    FI-NUH-LY. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for YEARS!! The woo chapter HAS to be over, right?

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Probably will once he dumps her. Which is sure to happen.

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      all the Woos down in Wooville, the tall and the small
      will find they don’t like skanky donkeys at all

    • Dr. Gary says:


      What’s next? Back to Republican Housewife Who Wears Pearls?

      • Random Snowflake™ says:

        Definite possibility. What future Senator wouldn’t wanna hitch his wagon to some of this?


      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        I think Republican Wife has been off the table for awhile. If she ever tried to darken GOP’s door again Cindy McCain would take care of that. Also, no one with any political aspirations would touch Donkey with a ten-foot pole after her recent woo activities.

        I’m putting my money on Born-Again Christen.

        • Random Snowflake™ says:

          Born again christian would be a definite possibility.. And they say those TV and mega-church pastors do tend to make “fuck you money.” 🙂

          Have you kids seen the pastors driving Bently’s in Detroit? (Where the city is bulldozing homes because they can’t be sold).


          • Dusty Documentary says:

            Yes! This has long been my guess for next persona. Can’t wait.

          • Stalker is the New Sisterectomy says:

            She could be like the Rowan County clerk Kim Davis, who became a born-again Christian a few months ago and feels like that gives her the actual authority of God. & is now world-famous. I think Julia would love that.

        • Cindy McCain says:

          Indeed. We have people for that.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Home-shopping network hostess, grifted by Pettifogger.

        • Random Snowflake™ says:

          Yeah, she could hawk Coobies and the latest Ronco kitchen appliances.. But no, she doesn’t have enough of a work ethic to do even that. Lazy bitch it lazy.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      Yeah, once he dumps her — if he hasn’t already — Donks is DUNZO in Woo-ville. She really did herself in with the “sisters” this time.

      Never change, Donkey.

    • Jenna's Lions says:

      I’m genuinely curious where she could go next.
      Politico/Wonk groupie – Done.
      NYC Media Groupie – Done.
      Silicon Valley start up groupie – Done.
      Hippie/EDM groupie- Done.

  27. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Let’s hope our mole is able to get footage tonight. I think both Avocado and PhuturePrimitive (what an asshole name that is) are performing, too.

  28. Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat Whores says:

    It’s sisterectomy time at Camp Cystic!

    Pass the dusty bug-ridden popcorn.

    PS: CWAA

  29. ks says:

    My on-the-spectrum self isn’t understanding the outrage. Girl and DJ were bf/gf. DJ dumps her. Julia enters picture. Julia fucks single DJ. Now everyone is pissed at her? For what? All I can think of is she should have had a Conversation with the girl about it and not hid things. But maybe that was the dude’s idea. Julia’s not one to hide anything.

    This seems like really teenage drama for the woos. I thought they were all sexually liberated and fucking each other anyway.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      If JA is involved, you can bet she was banging him when he was still with Pretty Woo La. And to comfort the cuckold and provide her with counsel when she was banging him behind her back — that is a real violation of the sisterhood, sorry. Maybe you have to be a chick to understand why this is so cunty.

    • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

      It’s a girl code thing. You don’t fuck a “sister’s” ex just a few days after she’s been pouring out her heartbreak to you. And if you do, after a decent interval, take up with the bf, you tell the “sister” rather than letting her find out about it through a third party. And if she does find out through a third party, you don’t act like a giant thundercunt to the “sister”.

      Three strikes and an emergency sisterectomy for Our Julie.

  30. Dr. Gary says:

    In the words of the great poet @mcakez: what a Thundering Thundercunt.

    Where will she go after this guy dumps her and she’s burned all the woo bridges?

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Also, she totally Single White Femaled this poor girl. That’s why she’s now claiming to be a ‘dancer’.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:


      • Tingolayo says:

        That’s it! That’s why the bowed sequoias are clomping on stage.

      • Dusty Documentary says:

        It seems like only yesterday that Julia was kissing up to the couple on Facebook. OMG Caeli is so TINYANDCUTE ™. Her dancing is INEFFABLE and I am a dancer too RAIN, look over here, watch me watch me, MEMEMEME. And soon, soon I will dance for you.

  31. Bunsy says:

    Way to go, Donk — what a feminist!

  32. weathervane periscope says:

    forget it julia, it’s black rock city

  33. Random Snowflake™ says:

    I just remembered something that is apropos to the situation at hand. Pop a squat (see post photo) and stroll down memory lane with me if you will..

    “RT @dosomething: “There’s a special place in hell reserved for women who don’t help other women.” Madeleine Albright”

    » http://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/11/08/who-does-that/

    I searched Julie’s tweet history for the original tweet, but of course she deleted it (and had no business tweeting it in the first place).

  34. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    This Donk FB post was back in mid-June and we all knew it was aimed at someone because there is always an ulterior motive. What a cunt if Caeli was still on her FB friends list at the time. This was about two months after she got dumped and she seemed still to be reeling.

    What are your best practices for handling finances in romantic partnership?
    Do you have honest and transparent conversations around money often?
    When do you have the dialogue about who pays for what?
    Do you offer to split everything?
    Do you trade off?
    Does the masculine pay for more because it’s traditional or because it feels caring for the feminine?
    Do you take into account who is bringing in more resources?
    Do you take into account the ways in which your family of origin handled it?
    Do you consider what feels best INSIDE to you, what makes you feel empowered, or cared for, or taken care of in a juicy way, no matter what people think? Do you follow that?
    Are you scared to have these sorts of open conversations?
    Are you afraid to ask for what you really want or need?
    Do you take into account the feminine and masculine styles of relating with money?
    Do you consider the tenants of Sacred Commerce?
    All thoughts, opinions, ideas and recommendations welcome.

    • Random Snowflake™ says:

      The origin of our “the masculine” and “the feminine” meme when people started disagreeing with Donk in the comments. 🙂

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

      She was as of April 29 where she tagged JA and Guac for Folsom thing.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Tenants of Sacred Commerce… the home Sacred Commerce shared…

    • The money talk, so soon?
      Maybe, since he’d wrecked his home, he was staying up in D0nk’s stall.
      In which case, cue this old joke (& just substitute “dj” for “musician”)…

      Q What do you call a musician w/out a girlfriend?
      A Homeless.

      Or she’s simply gone from trying to make FUCK YOU $$ to counting her (Dad$er’s) FUCK ME $$

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Ohhhhhh…maybe he was staying with Donk? That would explain why Neha, the roommate, left this comment:


        ‘Cause Neha really doesn’t seem like the BM/woo type.

      • Random Snowflake™ says:

        Please don’t refer to a person who presses keys on their iBook as a “musician.” If Mr. Phutureprimitive can explain the difference between a pentatonic scale and the mixolydian mode I’ll regretfully refer to him as a musician. I don’t think he can.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      A few weeks before that, Donkey also posted the F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, “They slipped quickly into an intimacy from which they would not recover.” She last posted this when she fell for Avocado, so we figured she had a new mark. So it sounds like she started screwing him in May, and it seems from her posts that CL found out about it at the beginning of July and then had a burning ceremony.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      And then CL posted this in early July, which is when I think she found out about Donkey. The timeline fits with the tipster’s schedule.

      “Thank you God for shattering the too-sweet-always-accommodating-overly-pleasing-sugar-spice-and-everything-nice girl archetype I had been playing into my whole life, through what turned out to be the profound gift of extreme betrayal and devastating mistreatment. The depths of all my emotions, not just the ones sanctioned by the old world patriarchal paradigm, are finally flowing fully through my system, thanks to the encouragement of so many amazing friends to let it all out. There are no bad and good emotions. I no longer give a damn about trying to play out any gender role. I no longer repress my truth to try and please anyone. Thank you God for the ferocious waves of rage welling up from the depths of my soul, to make me more STRONG and REAL and WHOLE. A real person. Not a caricature of what a woman “should” be. No more.”

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

        You know…in between all the woo-speak…those are wise words. Been there, done that. If Julia is involved at all with her ex, she better give Caeli a wide berth.

        Besides, to her ex, Donkey was merely a poke…nothing more.

      • Delicious discharges (wink emoticon) says:

        Yeah, I like what she’s saying here. Maybe if we’re lucky there will be a ‘feminine’ fight if they run into each other

  35. Albie Quirky in Exile says:

    It’s not very Eagle Scoutly to ghost on your longtime GF/collaborator and then bang a gross donkey, Chad.

  36. Aggressively Stupid says:

    I’m 90% sure that Donkey post a picture of this couple at one of the woo festivals she attended with Avocado cooing over what a cute couple they were.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      This seems familiar to me, too. Maybe from Lightning [or “Lightening,” as only a dumb Donkey with unwanted facial and body hair issues would spell it] in a Bottle, where Dancing Stroke-face Donkey set the stage on fire with her terpsichorean talents.

    • Pass the Nachos Please says:

      I’m remembering a music video at some festival, where’s she’s in the DJ booth and flailing as she usually does. Perhaps that was Future Fuckface? Because it wasn’t Avocado.

    • Dusty Documentary says:

      She posted about Caeli La’s adorable-ness and amazing-ness multiple times.

      • Dusty Documentary says:

        Right around the time she also posted about the “midwestern verve,” of the singer performing with avocado.

        When Donkey compliments someone and/or draws comparisons to herself she is jealous. Always.

  37. Good thing Julia Allison had already planned a digital detox after Burning Man …

  38. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Is she only 25 to his mid-40? Meh. Hope for her sake that she fast tracks to that point where she’s no longer sad about this creep.

  39. Handbag Is A Master Spankstress says:

    Yep, this story has all the marks of JABA’s true character, especially the detail about how, when confronted by the heartbroken friend, she was “condescending and egocentric.” She’s the same piece of crap life ruiner she’s always been.

    • i.just.can't! says:

      julia, instead of feeling shame, is probably super fucking smugly proud of herself. gross. how is her shrinking woo tribe taking her now? isn’t that a fairly tightly knit group? those pics that shantitown posted of camp septic DID seem a little bare in members.

      i hope caeli la (even though the name makes my eyes roll into the back of my head) is okay. i looked at her ig and she is a beauty. bless her backstabbed little heart and i am sending whatever good juju out there in woo land.

  40. Such happy. Many blessed. So lies. says:

    So Donkey Allison can only keep her smug off the interwebz when deception is involved. She did it with Derpin (could only reveal him post-Mass Despised) and now with FutureExBoyfriend. I thought something was up when she went quiet. Thank source for birdies!!

  41. Braying Lady Crony says:

    Did everyone feel that mind-blowing shift through the astrological portal?


  42. Dust in your toot-toot says:

    In which chapter of her book is this latest betrayal going to be “deliciously” written about?

    A few ideas, sadly not included in her original pitch:

    – The bug infested RV we shared in the desert
    – The stained mattress where we rubbed dust against each other
    – Clomping your way to cuckolding a sister

  43. Aggressively Stupid says:

    It really is astounding how thoroughly A Donkey can fuck things up. She fell ass backward into a group of people who would give a pass to almost any vile thing she did. She could have skated for years with this group excusing away her behavior with “I was just following my bliss” and “all mistakes made to understand them” or what-the fuck-ever. Yet, she managed to find the one unacceptable thing and grab it with gusto.
    I guess there is judgement in black rock city after all.

  44. ShesJustStupid says:

    This guy looks like Phillip from the Danish TV show Borgen. If you’ve never seen it,watch it. iTunes just announced the whole series is available for streaming. Best thing I’ve seen this year.

  45. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    When thinking about Donkey’s karma, I can’t help but Envision something like the finale from ‘Freaks.’

  46. ShesJustStupid says:

    I don’t even think she really wants these guys like Rainman, avocado and that one with the baby. It’s just a power trip/validation for her. Derpin was a different story since she was looking for a ring. But even there, I don’t see her going through with a wedding. It’s all about appearing desirable.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      What she doesn’t realize is that most of these guys aren’t all that picky about who they fuck. It’s barely any validation to have hippie dirt festival mansluts want to screw you.

  47. It floats! It floats! says:

    I believe this will be the beginning of the end for her association with that set of woos. No, this won’t ruin her completely with them but if she’s comfy enough to screw a sister’s recent ex, play the good friend, get everyone involved in the deception, she’s letting her true colors shine so it won’t take long.

  48. Gimme Pig of Love says:

    What do you all suppose ‘being condescending and egocentric’ entails? I literally cannot imagine being anything but mortified and ashamed and apologetic if it was me, and apparently my imagination is limited. But seriously, what do we think Donkey said??

    • It floats! It floats! says:

      “oh, you poor thing, you really should move on… You are young. These things happen. We couldn’t help it that our attraction was so strong. We just fell in love. He says he has never met anyone like me. And he told me you guys were never exclusive anyway so I thought you’d be okay. Really, one day you will realize this is what the universe wants.”

    • Stalker is the New Sisterectomy says:

      “I just have this effect on men. Masculine, virile men like DJs. You probably confused puppy love with the real thing.”

    • grammarian says:

      1. cheating is the easiest and fastest way for cowards to end relationships

      2. people who assist in cheating have no self esteem

      3. see one and two

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

        What he does with you he’ll do to you.

      • Fuck You Money says:

        Meh. I disagree. I enjoy the sex act as an outlet and purely on a physical basis. It isn’t narcissism or need for acceptance. I just like sex. If I cheat, I found a hot piece and I took a chance. Im not a coward.

        • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

          Why not just have open relationships, though? Lying is pretty weak IMO.

          • Fuck You Money says:

            I agree. So is hurting people you care about… Or hurting anyone for that matter. These are big topics and big discussions…

    • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

      Just guessing, but maybe she was dismissive of CL & Rain’s relationship, suggesting it wasn’t important or real. Perhaps she implied CL is young and just thought she was in love.

      It’s also not hard to imagine a Donkey turning the conversation to be all about her, and her “greatest love of all time” (g.l.o.a.t.) with Devin, or any number of past relationships when they allegedly “discussed marriage” or “shopped for rings.”

      Donkey implying that she had had more serious relationships than CL would have been both condescending and egocentric.

      • Bride of Donkenstein (The Ho I Am When I Boink Your Ex) says:

        and now she can bray about the lice-ridden futon they shared in Black Rock City instead of the home they shared in Coronado

        guess that’s the plan now, Julia

    • Handbag Is A Master Spankstress says:

      I think she said something along the lines of how their relationship was over before she got involved, and thus it isn’t her problem. She probably also used anything the girlfriend told her in confidence as ammunition, then finished by pointing out the DJ can’t be expected to resist her forever just because CL has “feelings.”

      • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

        Yes, this, because a Donkey would make every effort to invalidate CL’s feelings. Textbook narcissist.

      • Dusty Documentary says:

        I’m thinking it went something like this:

        “Wow. Just…wow. I find it odd that you are would bring up how you “confided” in me about your “breakup.” That was weeks ago!! No one cares!!

        Why do you and society STILL project paradigms like “cheater,” “girl code,” and “backstabber” onto heartseekers brave enough to follow their truth into relationship!?! I am genuinely curious, Caeli. But I guess everyone has their shizz.

        As a ritual DANCER, my body, and who it does what with, is my ART. This, this is what the Experience Sphere (do people still say “world”?) needs now!!

        You confusion is exactly why I founded a happiness movement for all the girls. If you read ONE thing to gain clarity, read the BOOK I AUTHORED (Coming soon! Year TKTK!!) I urge you to underline, highlight, doodle near, and restate in the most cliched way possible, every passage that resonates. Take. It. In.

        I GENUINELY hope for you that one day the beauty of my dancing will inspire you as deeply as it has inspired DJ Rain, since the moment he first saw me.

        I invite you not to bully me into taking legal action against you for slander.


    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      I love all of these suggestions so much and can totally see Juliar saying any of them

    • Stalker is the New Sisterectomy says:

      Of all the speculation yesterday we didnt’ even come close to how horrible it actually was. I am still gobsmacked.

  49. grammarian says:

    ot — that person who posts a new Facebook profile fauxto teeth bared in a grimace of “laughter” and uvula exposed; why does anyone on earth think this is a good look?


  50. neverbotoxed says:

    How was she able to force people to lie for her? I would think that people would have been better friends with CL and ignored one of Donkey’s ridiculous directives, especially when the news was this shitty.

    Either way, bravo, Julesie, bravo, you are still a terrible donkey being.

    • Stalker is the New Sisterectomy says:

      Even more mysteriously… WHY WOULD ANYONE FUCK HER?

    • Dusty Documentary says:

      I suspect she used a blended technique of:
      1) Dangling a namedrop in this year’s followup NYT Burning Man feature or other imaginary media extravaganza.
      2) Making the case that she and Rain are in relationship at a higher vibration aby parroting their inane woospeak back in their faces and stroking egos by crediting the woo sister’s paradigm-shifting teachings for her evolution.

  51. Snow yells "Nachos!" says:

    So how is she still welcomed at Camp Septic? Ali, I’m sure, is in her corner, since Ali fucks anything that walks. But who else? Why isn’t she kicked out of the camp? Alternatively, why doesn’t everyone else leave and set up their own camp?

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Speculation: Phutureprimitive was performing there last night and he has had status with this tribe for a long time. So I think they’d be hesitant to kick Donkey out for fear they’d be kicking him out too. Also speculation: half the people in that tribe probably don’t know Donkey or care to, and couldn’t care less about the gossip. The other half might assume there was an “open relationship” between CL and RP, CL even indicated this on one of her FB posts I read yesterday from earlier in 2015, and if so that nothing they did was wrong. Also, don’t forget, this is a weird society where even child molesters and domestic abusers (hello, Ali and Craigers) are forgiven and allowed access.

      There are probably just a handful of these idiots with enough of a conscience to know that what happened here was shittier than hell, and that Donkey never belonged there in the first place. Sparkle pony superficial bullshit spewer, delusions of grandeur, narcissist. In some ways she fit in, but these other people at least practice a little of what they preach.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

      I think this explains why she wasn’t braying from June on about BM, I don’t think she knew she was going until the last minute. Grift I agree Phukeprimate has a blue check mark on Twitter, the woo love status despite their claims to the contrary. I see Ali pushing Michael Jacobs on this guy like a pushy stage mom.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        There was something very weird about her Burning Man silence. I assumed she couldn’t afford to go so she was pretending it wasn’t happening. This explains it all.

  52. Malformed Face says:

    The comment on FB with the attachment to the piece here – whose FB is that on?

    I feel sorry for CL but I also feel like these woos get what they deserve. If they are so in tune with themselves, each other and source, dear Greg, how did no one have a read on her before this? How is this behavior shocking?

    And if they are are about love, positivity, sisterhood, truth, how are they all scammed into keeping such a digesting lie for such a digesting donkey?

    • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

      LaPhlegm, I think? It seems like she is not entirely on Team Donkey already, though.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Remember when La Phlegm & D0nk seemed pissy w/ each other? (It was made apparent D0nk wasn’t invited to something that La Phlegm & others were in SF for; maybe a birthday celebration was involved, I believe). Anyway, whatever. La Phlegm is happy to eave that up, I’ll bet.

    • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

      It’s from self-professed gold digger Jena La Flamme’s FB page. She’s had something of a combative history with Donkey, so I’m guessing things were a little tense in Black Rock City last night.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        I don’t see that comment. I only see three comments under her post about dancing. but I seem to have this problem sometimes.

        • Wolf, Hemmingway and Khaat whores says:

          Not the it-s-been-deleted no-its-there game AGAIN!

          The comment is (as of right now, 2:55 PM EDT, Sept 3rd 2015) under the picture of JLF and her friend playing the ukelele on the D train.

          • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

            It indicates there are two comments, yet only Jean Brodie’s pops up when I press the link. It’s not me – everybody else has had the same problem.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            That’s because the hidden person has either blocked you or you have blocked them.

  53. Albie Quirky in Exile says:



    Checked the event page. Didn’t see Ms Brodie’s comment but not surprisingly Julia is there saying she can’t attend bc of Bear’s wedding. Not that she reads here!

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Ha, the mean girl in me is glad that this came out and possibly spoiled a little of her Burning Man experience. I wonder how she’ll manage to make Bear and Katiyana’s wedding all about her. Raising the roof during K’s first ecstatic dance with her father?

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots, Microphones & Book Deals says:

        This also explains why Donkey isn’t live posting, throwing herself an anniversary party,etc. She’s on thin ice and this is the closest thing to shame her personality will allow her to feel.

        • Not! Random! says:

          Nah, communicating with the outside world during Burning Man is generally shunned, and JA has respected this most years. Don’t ever mistake her desperate desire to fit in for some innate sense of shame.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      I thought B&K’s wedding was Friday morning (tomorrow). Not sure how that would have affected a dance on a Wednesday night that Donk herself was supposed to perform at.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      JFAing myself to say that Jean Brodie’s comment is still there. It’s the only comment after that post.

      • i.just.can't! says:

        looks like caeli la has been introduced to the basement. (she just said ‘holy shit’ on la flammes post)

        welcome, tiny and cute one. may i offer some franzia and cheetos? and my apologies for our lady of cuntness?

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

          Are you friends with Caeli? I can only see Jean’s post on Jena’s page, and no one I’ve talked with can see Caeli’s comment either.

          • i.just.can't! says:

            ah no gilly. it was JUST there 10 mins ago. now poof. i guess she didnt want to rough up any feathers and deleted? nooo caeli, come and join us.

  55. Epictetus Joke says:

    Wow – I knew I should’ve checked in last night.

    I’m sure Ms. La is a lovely person and all, but IMHO if you ask JULIA ALLISON for advice on healing you deserve whatever you get. That’s like an illegal immigrant asking Donald Trump for help.

  56. Caeli La says:

    Hi friends,

    I did see this post on Jena’s wall (and deleted my comment to avoid any further drama) but I just wanted to say thank you to guys for all the support in these comments. Honestly, you’ve said things here that I think real friends would say, and I haven’t received any kind of support like this from the Mystic crew. I would like to confirm that yes, this is accurate, and I am so fucking repulsed by what she did and by the situation as a whole, that I am literally moving far away just so I don’t have to see her or deal with her ever again. Thanks for the nice things you said about my writing and yeah, it was incredibly dumb to call her for relationship advice. I naively believed that she had “reinvented” herself and actually cared about sisterhood. Ha. I’ve never been so badly mistreated and so viciously betrayed. My heart is completely broken and I’m gonna have a hard time trusting “sisterhood” ever again. Thanks for being real here… It’s so refreshing.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Hi. Welcome.

      Sorry for your troubles.


      We’ve seen her treat women like this for probably a decade. I wouldn’t give her any more power over your life, location, etc. she is that worthless. You’re blog posts have more insight, passion, and value than any of her terrible professional writing.

    • Caeli La says:

      I also want to mention that what the tipster posted is only the tip of the iceberg. She has done so many more horrific things in this situation than what was mentioned there. Some really, insanely, fucked up shit. I can’t believe a human could treat another human the way she has been. It’s been devastating. My faith in humanity has been pretty severely damaged by her. I wish I could tell you guys all the gory details, but I don’t want to play her game – I’d rather take the high road and just leave it at that. It was really, really, really fucking bad.

      • Caeli La says:

        And also, to the person who called out the “Single White Female” parallel…. So. On. Point.

        • Gilly Blake, CEO, Donkey Disparagement Industry Gilly on a Horse on the Beach says:

          My sincere sympathies, Caeli. Julia Allison is a terrible human being. She came into my life many years ago, and I feel sadness for anyone who is forced to deal with her dishonesty and sense of entitlement. I didn’t realize that people like Julia existed until long after she’d done much damage to friends of mine.

          Keep taking the high road – you’re lovely, a talented dancer, and a great writer!

        • Dr. Gary says:

          That was me.

          It was weird that this clunky, untalented, stumpy-legged Donkey was calling herself a ‘dancer’. We laugh hard at videos and photos of her ‘dancing’. It’s just awkward and bad.

          We’ve seen this before. She sets her sights on a new man. Then transforms into the sort of girl/woman that man would be interested in. She likes the cool Burning Man DJ who has a dancer onstage with him? Then she will become that dancer. Which is exactly what she did.

          Donkey is a fucking asshole and a fake, shitty friend. But fuck your dumb ex-boyfriend if he fell for her sociopathic bullshit.

          Do your thing. Move forward. He will get what’s coming to him.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Fortunately, ditchpig extraordinaire Julia Allison Baugher is the exception, not the rule — I’d encourage you to keep from letting her despicable actions influence your perception of sisterhood & humanity as a whole, because that’s no good for anyone, least of all you.

        I’d also encourage you to elaborate on the bigger story, as your writing seems to be a productive outlet for you — think of it as the anti-venom to the poison that is Julia Allison’s vile, black, toxic heart.

      • Delicious discharges (wink emoticon) says:

        Caeli, I can so feel you on this one. It’s a violating, sickening, stomach-churning thing to have happen. I had this happen on a much smaller scale recently (a ‘close friend’ started sexting with my ex just a few days after we broke up). It’s yucky but it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the scumfucks involved. There isn’t an excuse for treating people this way and I’m so glad you are getting the hell out of dodge. The bonus is, you will see who your true friends are and emerge from this stronger. Hang in there and be good to yourself!

    • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

      I am so sorry you had this experience. You are very talented and absolutely lovely, and I wish you all the best.

      Julia is a really toxic person. At the end of the day, though, the universe’s revenge on her is that she has to live in her own poisonous head.

    • TheFallOfTheDonkey says:

      Caeli, sorry that you had to endure that destructive asshole.

      I read your blog not just because I am curious but because you are a great writer! I wish you all the best in the world. Hugs

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Oh, girl. I just wrote this long comment about heartbreak and how with time, you will feel better. But it disappeared.

      I’m so sorry about all of this. But you will heal. And one day, you’ll wake up and the horrible, painful feelings will be gone.

      The Cat Ladies have your back.

    • Dyspeptic's Yahoo Happiness Vertical says:

      All the best. And it will BE for the best, eventually. Sorry for how it feels in the meantime.

    • Bunsy says:

      Hi Caeli,

      I realize I don’t know you from a hole in the wall, but I just wanted to (sort of) commiserate a bit.

      The thing with JA is — her whole thing is kind of a hustle and a scam. She got into G’town by the skin of her teeth (thanks to her Dad, I think), and scammed her way through classes, she’s not an actual writer, she doesn’t know a goddamn thing about politics, history, fashion, style, tech (etc etc).

      She’s created this meaningless persona, and as you can see from reading the site a bit, it’s just one in a series of personas. Not an actual friend/person — a created “thing” that lasts for a while… until she goes on to the next thing. (And she always does.)

      I think she annoys people here, because there are are gals here who HAVE ACTUALLY DONE THE WORK… graduated from college, work their way up the ladder to get to a decent job, written actual books (in less than six years!), kept their pets alive and well… (you get the idea).

      Someday you will look back on this (probably much sooner than you think) with a great deal of gratitude — you totally dodged a bullet, kid. And also — “someday this will all be an anecdote.”

      With regards,

    • I AM NOT MAINSTREAM! says:

      She is a vile husk of a person and you are not. You will come out on the other side of this and she is stuck where she has always been – a nasty, bossy, entitled, destructive toddler. Best wishes to you.

    • grammarian says:

      Not defending her in any way but don’t forget that the dude made his own choices

      Sisterhood is important but so is holding men accountable for their actions

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        Yes, Chad can eat a bucket of dicks as far as I’m concerned. I hope the clam dungeon gave him the chlam.

        • Random Snowflake™ says:

          He might not know it yet, but just as many others have found out he is going to be stalked for many many years after he ends this fling with Julie Albertson.. She’s harder to get rid of than herpes, and much less pleasant.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Hooking up w/ D0nkey right after cheating on his SO is the quickest crime & punishment ever. Too bad, sad, mofo, but you get what you give.


          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            Yeah she’s the perfect punishment for his douchery. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person!

    • Handbag Is A Master Spankstress says:

      You shouldn’t have to apologize for going to her for relationship advice. Her crimes are never the responsibility of anyone else, and she’s very good at convincing people to trust her.

    • melting marionette says:

      hi and welcome – your writing is beautiful.

      wishing you peace.

    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      CL, you dodged a bullet with your ex, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now. You are talented and young and so beautiful, and he is a gross cheating scumbag. As for the Donkey, she is a master manipulator and terrible person, and I am so, so sorry she shat all over your life. Be well, take care of yourself, and be sure that all us bitchy catladies are Team CL.

    • LakeWooBeGone says:

      Hi there, do not move far away just because of a Donkey. Do not give her that much power over you. (She may be moving anyways if her parents have to downsize when Petey retires).

    • Malformed Face says:

      I am sending you hugs. She is a terrible person and I really hope you are not further wounded by alienating people who could be true friends to you. Do not compare them to Julia Allison who has some kind of SERIOUS mental disorder. She treats people AWFULLY, has ruined relationships, careers and betrayed people like it’s a SPORT.

      She will end up alone, forever, if that is any comfort. I am so sorry again that this happened to you. And more so that you have not received support from people who should be better friends to you.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Rest assured on one thing. Your ex is going to rue the day he even spoke to that lunatic. This won’t end well for either of them and you will have the last laugh. That’s not just cliche support to make you feel better. Its not speculation. Its not a guess. Its 100% a fact. he will recognize the mess he got himself into with this sociopath and she will endure the “worst most heartbreaking moment of her life” and cry for months.

      Just grab the popcorn, sit back and enjoy. I promise.

  57. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Sorry I said upthread you were an idiot (about meeting the black guys in Oakland); obviously your heart’s in the right place.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      (That was supposed to be @Caeli La.)

    • Caeli La says:

      Thank you – but you know what? – when you guys called me out on that post, it did help me see that using the term “Oakland-type” and the overall tone of the post was pretty forehead-smack-inducing. My heart was definitely in the right place writing it, but you helped me see through some of my own white privilege / white guilt BS.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        <3. You are terrific!

      • Bunsy says:

        Hi Caeli — you might get a kick out of knowing that several people on this site are real, actual (like: published with major publishing houses) writers. So if someone commends you on your writing — stick with it…

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        I thank whatever gods may be that there was no Internet when I was in my twenties, because sometimes everyone speaks (or writes) before they think about how what they say is going to come off.

        Being able to sift feedback and take from it what’s useful and meaningful to you, and let the chaff blow away, is a crucial skill.

      • Super Anonymous says:

        You are light years ahead in wisdom than JA.

      • melting marionette says:

        caeli, you are amazing. hugs.

  58. peltamania says:

    Caeli La, As you must now realize, Julia Allison Baugher has a LONG history of such atrocious conduct. Her “reinvention” as you call it is all part of the act. You are right to steer clear of her and her cadre of narcissists. Be strong, keep writing (you have real talent), and life will improve. As to Julia Allison Baugher, karma is a bitch.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      RBD LESSON #1: Don’t go to Julia Allison for relationship advice.
      RBD LESSON #2: Don’t go to Alexis Martin Neely for financial advice.

      Sure, we point & laugh all the time at these two frauds, but honestly, no one here wants to say Told ya so!, because being proven right means yet another victim.

      RBD LESSON #3: Don’t not heed lessons #1 & #2.

  59. Caeli La says:

    @HowBrayellaGotHerHooveBack — thanks for the encouragement. I do feel like elaborating on it. Unfortunately, where I live in the Bay Area, I’m surrounded by people who were fans of my ex’s music before they became friends with us, so everyone just wants to stay neutral, so they can still be friends with him. As a result, I have had very few outlets to express how I feel, and almost no support from anyone in the Mystic “community” (pretty painful, since I thought these people were some of my closest friends).

    Julia has been an extremely polarizing figure in the community since she moved to the Bay. There are a lot of people who really didn’t like her off the bat (not even knowing anything about her history), and then some people who care a lot about money/status/material crap and basically, because she was on the cover of “Wired,” deemed her to be a desirable person to be friends with. It’s been really interesting to see the divide in the group since she came in — her presence caused a separation between the more superficial, materialistic people, and the people who see through her bullshit.

    From the get go, she became highly enamored with me via Facebook. She asked if she could interview me for her book, asked me to hook her up with my costume designers, consistently came to me for advice on what festivals to go to, how to become a performer, etc, and asked me to persuade a company I was working for to “sponsor” her and give her free costumes (my real job is social media marketing — needless to say, upon seeing the surprising lack of engagement on her posts for the amount of “followers” she has (are they real?)… the company was not interested).

    I had not actually met her in person. I only knew her over Facebook and knew we had mutual friends. Because I trusted them, I assumed she was someone I should help out. Then I met her for the first time, briefly, and wasn’t impressed… then we hung out in person only one time at one of David Block’s shows, and I was really turned off and uncomfortable around her. I actually left early because the way she was treating him, and the way she was behaving in general, was pretty much the epitome of what I DON’T want to be around (entitled, self-serving, egocentric, condescending, completely in her own head).

    But even though we only saw each other in person a few times and only really hung out in person once, for over a year and a half, she made a HUGE effort to be a “sister” to me. She sent me a shitload of Coobie bras, constantly reached out, was always playing the good friend/”sister” role when I would post anything indicating that I was sad or upset. She invited me to things constantly but I just never really felt comfortable with her languaging, her posts, the overall attitude, so I never went. The reason I posted about performing with her and David in April was because she invited me to, it was my first opportunity to dance since the breakup, and I wanted to perform to prove to myself that I still could without my ex (but was not stoked on hanging out with her, at all). But guess what? Surprise surprise, she completely flaked and disappeared that night at the very last minute, so I never got to do the performance.

    When I finally found out that she and Rain had been secretly seeing each other since only weeks after we broke up– before he and I had even a single conversation, and very shortly after I called her to pour my heart out and ask for “sister” support– it was because a big group of women in the community felt so disgusted with them for hiding it from me, they actually came to my house and sat me down to break the news. Rain and Julia had been asking everyone to keep it a secret from me for a month and a half. People were so uncomfortable keeping this secret for them, some of my friends actually just stopped talking to me altogether, because it didn’t feel right to them to talk without telling me, but they also felt like I deserved to hear it from Rain, instead of a third party.

    So by the time I found out, yes, ALL of my friends knew, and had known for a long time, well before I did. When one of the friends who broke the news to me called Rain to let him know they had spilled the beans, Rain STILL did not reach out to me to say anything. I waited for 4 days, in the most crushed, heartbroken state I have ever experienced, with no explanation, no communication, and no idea what the fuck was going on, except that my friends said she had been pursuing him hard.

    So I finally broke down and called her. He wouldn’t respond at all, and I was fucking dying, desperately wanting answers and an explanation. She picked up, and I let her have it for over an hour – super vulnerable, bawling, sobbing, pouring my heart out. She responded in the most condescending, belittling, demeaning ways you could possibly imagine. No apologies, no accountability, no compassion, at all. Just things like “oh, but I didn’t mean to fall in love with him” (how can you have sex with someone repeatedly and “not mean to fall in love with them”? It’s outrageous for a person in their 30’s to play dumb in this regard). She would only talk about her past experiences with Devin and how she had somehow been able to convince herself that this was all OK because of what she went through with him. Then, over an hour and a half into the call, Rain’s voice comes on the phone. Turns out, he had been there, secretly listening in, the whole time. She never once told me that he was there, or that he was listening to our call. Nobody has done that shit to me since middle school. I told them that I would never want to be friends with people who would do something like that to me, and told her that if she ever tries to contact me again, I will file a report for harassment. I texted her once after that and said “karma is coming.” She responded hysterically, saying I was “threatening” her.

    I could go on and on. It’s just been so insanely painful. And no, I don’t think she will be dancing with him, because I’m pretty sure she knows how awful that would look in the eyes of the community at large, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want her performances to be compared to mine. I honestly wouldn’t care if she did, because it would only make her look even worse.

    The only solace I can take in all this, is that my biggest fear was that Rain would start dating someone who I admired and respected. It actually makes it easier for me to let go of him, because if he could be attracted to someone like her, and blinded by her bullshit, then he is not the kind of person I’d even want to be friends with again.

    Oh, and I find the fact that she is writing a book on happiness to be so tragically ironic… how can you go around making so many people so unhappy, then decide you are an expert on teaching people how to be happy?


    Thanks so much for your kindness, everyone. I actually do feel much better now. I really needed this, and it felt really good to write that out just now. You’ll be happy to know that I have been writing a book for a long time, a collection of non-fiction stories about my life, and I will absolutely be writing about this, and will not be using pseudonyms or covering up who she is or what she did, at all. I have a meeting next week with a major author who is helping me get it published. I’ll let ya’ll know when its coming out. 🙂

    • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

      Wow. That is some Olympic-level bullshit right there. I’m appalled.

      Keep rising above that nonsense. You have gifts.

    • Super Anonymous says:

      Wow. Thanks so much for sharing. I do hope it is cathartic for you. And have faith in friendships. Your true friends will always stick up for you, won’t remain neutral and don’t care what the fallout is. As you get older, it’s easier to see and find these friends.

    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      She is a heinous cunt (I don’t say that lightly). Be well, sweet girl, work on your book which we will all buy and read, and know that you did nothing wrong and that those two deserve each other.

    • Cat lady #789 says:

      thank you so much for sharing, this was seriously disturbing. I met her once but she was incredibly rude so we avoided her after that. But what you have described is downright sociopathic behavior.

      An explanation with pictures!

    • Donkey La Scheme says:

      Wow. I have been amused/disgusted by Julia’s antics since her NY days circa 2007, but even I am amazed at how little she has changed. The single white female thing is CRAZY!!! It’s something we would make up here about her as a joke. Good for you for working hard and also following your creative dreams. Rest assured that this is something JA will never be able to do. Courage!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      YOU GO GIRL! Get that book deal!

      Damn. Thank you for sharing that. Evil Donkey is EVIL.

    • Random Snowflake™ says:

      Julia will never change. Ever. This is why it always amazes me when she dons a new persona and befriends a new group of people, and sure enough a few of them barge in here declaring what a nice changed person she is and how we should all be ashamed of ourselves. And sure enough she manages to achieve new lows and does the same shit.

      And David Block owes us a Goddamn apology. (See this)

    • Handbag Is A Master Spankstress says:

      The worst thing that could have ever happened to your ex is becoming involved with her. Their relationship will be short-lived, miserable for him, and then he’ll have a helluva time escaping it. Maybe that makes you sad, but it shouldn’t. It sounds as if they deserve one another, which is the harshest thing I can say about any man who dates her.

      • grammarian says:

        This this this

      • mcakez: Next Level Friend says:

        And as much as it doesn’t seem like it right now, him becoming involved with Jackle is one of the best things that could happen to you, Caeli: it shows who your friends are (and aren’t) and for all the brutality of the betrayal, it will hasten the mourning process. No more illusions or barely dormant hope, just the stark reality of who he truly is right there in living color. It’s hard to miss someone you don’t respect, and it’s comforting – when all the dust settles – to see with clarity what you escaped.

        I hope this place gives you some solace. Not only in venting, but in realizing how NOT ALONE you are.


      You’re such a great storyteller! You have a whole life ahead of you. Thanks for sharing. Unbelievably, eveeything we guessed about Julia and this scene is exactly as imagined. However it’s nice to know that enough of the woos are immediately turned off by her.

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      Caeli, you are well on your way to healing that heart. Take care! Julia is a middle-aged woman who still hasn’t gotten the clue. Gawd she’s repulsive!

    • Morrocanwear with Antlers says:

      She really is the worst. But you are also incredibly lucky not to have wasted one more second of your life on a guy who would treat you like that. I truly hope that they marry each other and make each other as completely miserable as they are able for the rest of their lives. No two people could deserve each other more.

      You keep writing and keep moving forward. If you ever feel a little down, come on back and join us here. You will never hear a kind word about Julia from us.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I am so glad you did this, & that’s not even the voyeur in me saying that from a selfish be-a-fly-on-the-wall standpoint — I’m truly glad for ya if unloading that was cathartic for you. I have been where you are right now & after a decade of ‘keeping it all in’, I’d made myself sick, literally. Chronic stress *will* resurrect whatever ill(s) are lying dormant, trust, so unloading to an audience, be it a psychologist, be it a friendly shoulder, be it this basement, whatever, is highly beneficial, IMHO.

      When you say that D0nkey was enamored w/ you, I totally get that. I think I even said something here yesterday to the extent that who she admires the most is whose man she’d target, because she reminds me of a “friend” (mere acquaintance, actually) who I’d brought into a group of friends who set her sights on my very good friend’s BF. These cockroaches (maybe ‘cockpoachers’ is more apt?) do serve a purpose, but still, ugh to the fucking eff.

      Your ex sounds like a real piece of work. Did you already, on some level, suspect that he was a weak POS? That disappearing act is so chickenhit, but to have the gall to hide behind D0nkey’s raftass & eavesdrop rather than at least have a bit of sympathy for your misery? What a limpdick little man he is, eh?

      The night D0nk disappeared on ya, I think that was discussed here, as to why she didn’t do what she’d been bragging about doing — we were wondering why Davidiot was putting up w/ her again — any idea(s) on that front? Especially since she treated him badly & all.

      So, so VERY happy to know that you will call D0nkey out in your tell-all. You can likely count on the basement collective as guaranteed pre-sales. I’ve been saying forever that Lasagna or Derpin need to capitalize on their time w/ her, but YOU are truly most deserving of making fuck you money off this asshat.

      It’ll get better — hope you stick around for the laughs when this is behind you.


      • Caeli La says:

        I did, already, on some level, know that he was weak and extremely easily manipulable. I couldn’t really admit it to myself at the time, but looking back, if I had been paying more attention… it was pretty obvious.

        David was a super dorky, overweight kid in high school who grew up in LA and never got the girl, and now froths at the mouth to get attention from someone who has the superficial social strata that she does (even though she hasn’t had it in several years). Even though she’s treated him like crap, he’s like a hungry puppy around her. He feels validated by her attention because she had some modicum of mainstream visibility, and she feels validated by his because he’s a “cool Burning Man” DJ (yuck).

        David has admitted to my best friend that Julia is a “tribalista” — which means someone who takes on the fashion, the lingo, and the appearance of being in “the scene,” but does not actually do inner work or walk the walk in her personal life, at all. It’s like she’s wearing a hippie costume. David is so caught up in the materialistic bullshit that she represents. No matter how bad she treats him, he’ll keep hanging around, because it makes him feel like a cool kid, since she’s older, richer, and more (ahem) “famous” than he is (which is what he really cares about).

        Poor Devin. Honestly, a really sweet guy. He said it took over 2 years to get out of her grip. Like Rain, he’s extremely passive, easily manipulable, and very young in a lot of ways. But he does have a heart of gold, and he sees now who she really is, and how much she traumatized him. He has made it clear to Rain and to all their mutual friends that he wants nothing to do with her. He and I are currently supporting each other in the mission to eradicate her from our lives completely.

        • Super Anonymous says:

          Tribalista!! I love it. She’s such a poseur and that is the perfect description for this persona.

        • Dusty Documentary says:

          Her costume is painfully obvious. These zookeepers pull off the Panda look better than Julia pulls off Hippie.

        • Random Snowflake™ says:

          It is not surprising someone would say Julia is just wearing a hippie costume. She has always done this, we often call her a poseur for it. 🙂

        • MY wet spot says:

          Aww, that is sweet. No consolation but you two are not alone. The legions who have been harmed, insulted, and victimized by Julia Allison could/should launch their own festival, perhaps on an island off of Florida (never forget!), to BURN her out of their memory/lives.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          This is stunning intell. David Block still hasn’t cut her loose entirely? Jesus. And poor, poor Derwood. Tell him the Cat Ladies have his back.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          You know, we did make fun of Devin a lot here for his willingness to naively be Donkey’s doormat and to have chosen to be with her in the first place, but after he had the courage to leave and found such a nice girlfriend and a new life, we have been rooting for him. We know how badly he was treated by her, but just like with your situation, I’m sure there was far more beneath the surface. We always suspected she used her high-profile tech contacts as leverage in manipulating him.

        • Grammarian says:

          The basement is unerring

          • Bride of Donkenstein (The Ho I Am When I Boink Your Ex) says:

            it is where truth comes to drink Franzia and say “I told you so”

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      She used you and manipulated you for her own gain, and she has a very long history of doing this sort of thing to people. She is a sociopath.

      I am sorry you became a victim of it. Thanks for having the courage to share – we are nice, compassionate, funny people here and we are rooting for you.

      • Sincerely Curious says:

        I imagine Julia is like a fisherman with lots of poles up and bait on the line, waiting for bites.

        She worked this con for months, probably is consistently working lots of them and they pay off at different times with different people.

        • Who do you think you are? says:

          It sounds so exhausting, doesn’t it? Like, why not put that energy into actual work?

          • Bride of Donkenstein (The Ho I Am When I Boink Your Ex) says:

            I think because she enjoys the pain she inflicts. She is the meanest of mean girls. A normal job would not give her the satisfaction of wrecking other peoples’ lives.

            She is a pit viper.

    • It floats! It floats! says:

      I’m willing to bet that your book will be published before that book on happiness.

    • Bunsy says:

      Hi — if I can do anything to help with the book thing, let me know.

      Maybe the site people can get you my email. Or, I guess I could contact you via FB?

      I have written a few books, and would be happy to help. Just, you know, for karma’s sake.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      You are lucky to be rid of her, that cowardly, cheating asshole and that collection of flea-ridden fake hippies.

      The listening-in-on-the-phone thing actually creeps me out. What kind of person does that who’s not the black-gloves-wearing killer at the end of the badly dubbed Italian horror film?

      If that shitsmear did something like that to me, the forecast “Rain scattered throughout the area” would take on a graphic new meaning.

      • grammarian says:

        the kind of a person who would phuck a donkey

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        What kind of person does that who’s not the black-gloves-wearing killer at the end of the badly dubbed Italian horror film?

        Chad. Chad does that.

      • Delicious discharges (wink emoticon) says:

        I’ve had a total shithead dude do something like that to me. He started sleeping with his roomate, dissapeared on me, and when I called him to vent about it she was sitting in the room with him listening in! It was so creepy and a total violation. Ugh.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:


      • Dusty Documentary says:

        A chill (literally!) ran down my spine when I got to the part about the ex listening in on the call.

    • Malformed Face says:

      I’m just stunned that Julia Allison can still trade on a Wired magazine cover that is nearly a decade old. She was barely employable then but has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, ZERO, zilch since. She’s burned every career contact to the ground. What do these leeches think they can get from her?

      I am sorry you discovered what a horrific person your ex-boyfriend is – the behavior, to listen in on a conversation, gleefully, while you are on the other end so devastated, well his karma is coming for him. I truly believe Donkey is a sociopath, so I don’t believe any of this touches her – except that she will never know true happiness or real love. And that is her ultimate punishment.

      • Malformed Face says:

        I also believe, as the case with David Block, is she worms her way into men’s pants by promising she can work magic with their social media/use her contacts/get them noticed. I think the “star fucker” type guys will do anything to get their careers ahead, including fuck a donkey.

        They don’t know her apartment is paid for by her daddy and her social media is 100% bought and paid for. It’s all lies. They figure that out eventually, though.

    • Dusty Documentary says:

      Welcome, Caeli.

      Count me among those who recognized a spark in your writing. I am a little embarrassed; I didn’t realize you were here telling your own story while I was writing my imagined version of how Julia condescended to you.

      I am not finished reading everything you wrote but thought I’d chime in to answer your question. NO her followers are not real. She buys them cheap.

    • Barfing in a Bottle says:

      I read here mostly for the witty banter, and I have to say I would 100% read your book. Your writing is fresh and honest, and I wish you the best of luck. Let us know when the book is ready for pre-sales!

  60. Sincerely Curious says:

    This is a sad tale.

    Unfortunately, as with anything, there will always be predators that seek out situations where they can prey on the vulnerable.

    I believe that religious/spiritual endeavors are kind of like all you can eat buffets for the predators of the world who are looking for an easy mark. Whether it’s Shanti looking for her next Money Map (TM) victim, or Julia Allison searching for the next husband/love interest…

    I feel for those who honestly believe that these sorts of settings are places to let your guard down and allow yourself to be vulnerable. On the contrary, I think retreats and ashrams, churches and temples and “festivals” are likely the the kinds of events where you guard should be even higher.

    There are mostly wolves in the sheep’s clothing, some of them don’t even know that’s what they are. And the sheep that are truly there will have a hard time fending off the constant barrage of attacks from so-called friends.

    It’s unfortunate that more folks are not aware of the way predators work…but essentially they will always tend to congregate where the easy food is.

    • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

      Yes! One of the problems with “no negativity” communities is that they often wind up as “no accountability” communities.

      • Super Anonymous says:


      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:


      • MY wet spot says:

        Agreed, but I can’t help but hope that someone who is loyal to CL in camp septic loses their shit after being around her bs for days on end and just rips her a new one. I would even endure BM in order to witness it.

        She is such a hollow, dead soul bitch on a daily basis but this is some next level shit. Caeli – you are doing great – don’t give this bitch another thought.

        • Malformed Face says:

          “Dead Soul Bitch” would be such a good user name.

          • PhDonk says:

            Or playa name for a certain conniving donkey that nobody really likes…….

          • PhDonk says:

            Jfaing ….. I live that I posted the above before seeing that Juliar had already been called a conniving bitch three times downthread ….. Well, when the shoe fits, you nasty little cunt……

        • grammarian says:

          or that dead soul dude

          on the phone and hearing your pain? that is beyond phucked up

          • MY wet spot says:

            Yeah, I think the DJ is actually a bigger asshole than donks in that regard. How could he eavesdrop on the pain of someone he presumably once loved? And then reveal his presence after an hour & a half of mess? Horrifying. He might actually be perfect for our Julie.

      • Delicious discharges (wink emoticon) says:

        YEP! Hung out with a bunch of crusty anarchists once, same story. People behaved terribly toward eachother cuz ‘no rules’. I was in a super shitty relationship with a dude who kept trying to get me to have an ‘open’ relationship (ie he could fuck other women). When I wouldn’t stand for it, he ended up trying to kick me out of the ‘community’ by talking a bunch of shit and spreading rumors. It was a really dark time, but I found out people’s true colors fast. Fuck the people who try to stay neutral. The ones who stand up for you and actually have your back will surface. Just like the woos, these folks talked a big game about equality and breaking down paradigms, but it was still the same old game. The ‘masculine’ did the building while the ‘feminine’ did the cooking etc. And power and status within the group definitely mattered. I’ll always be greatfull to the people who actually treated me like a person in that situation. I learned a heck of a lot about human nature….Bleh, sorry, Caeli’s story is giving me the feels.

  61. Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

    I remember when Donk first started with her whole ‘dancer’ thing. She was obviously SWF’ing Caeli that far back. I know cat ladies commented on it back then, that Donk wanted to become the ‘new’ Cali and do ritual dancing with avocado. Donk has been weaselling her way into Caeli’s sisterhood all along, and you can bet would have been involved in trying to break apart the relationship with Rain.

    I really liked Caeli’s writing as well. In a different world from the fake crap Donk has always posted. I’m sorry for what Caeli’s has had to go through, first from what her ex did, then to the further betrayal by donk. Much as I would love to hear about all of Donkey’s underhand doings in this situation, we’ve all been following the Donkey show for long to imagine what a total cuntwitch she was to Caeli.

    Caeli, if you ever do want to vent either as yourself or anonymously, feel free. Don’t think you would be lowering yourself to donkey’s standards. Not many people could do enough bad stuff to win that comparison. Part of this site is to try to hold Donkey and those like her to account. She relies on her victims not sharing her heinous actions so that she can spin the situation to make herself look good. That’s part of the way she gets away with her “I’ve changed/the new,healthy Julia I am today” crap she pulls. She hates this site because it’s evidence of her misdeeds and proof that she doesn’t change. She just changes personas and moves on to a new group, but her horrible self-entitled, narcissist and damaging (to others) behavious continues. Telling your story could feel cathartic and it would be here where Donkey could not pretend it didn’t happen.

    Sorry you ever got caught up in her schemes. Don’t blame yourself in any way or trust less. She counts on you doubting yourself. Wishing you all the best in going forward. May you find a guy that’s worthy and true friends you can trust. Keep dancing,take a moment to laugh at Donkey’s pathetic, stroke-faced, herp derp attempts at dancing, then move on and forget this silly cow and have a wonderful life.

    • Nosferatu-tu is Animated by Envy and Spite says:

      jFA’ing to say took a while to post this. My cat was trying to get smooches and kept getting in the way of my typing, so since I started writing it took a while to post and much has since been said up thread. ss;sf so redundant, but my wishes to CL stand.

    • Malformed Face says:

      How hilarious to write an article about a woman being a conniving bitch and stealing your man — all while posing as a happiness expert? Sounds like a great movie, too!

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I’d rent that movie!

      • Caeli La says:

        Are you referring to me? Or did Julia write an article about a woman being a conniving bitch and stealing your man at some point?

        • woopocalypse says:

          i think the point was, julia is writing a book on happiness, while being a conniving bitch and stealing someone’s man. i dont know how the writing an article fits in, but that may have been a typo.

          btw – hi Caeli, we haven’t seen each other for a long time, but id imagine we would give each other hugs if we saw each other. really sorry you are going through this. i fell upon this site randomly a few years back, and actually thought to say something to you on FB when i saw you getting “closer”. Perhaps I should have. Anyways, keep your head up.

  62. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    What a great RBD day. Can you imagine how Donkey’s donkey ears (and probably other assorted body parts) are burning at Burning Man?

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I don’t think anyone at BM is paying attention. Hopefully this will put a damper on her return to reality, ie she’ll get ragey. She’s incapable of feeling bad.

      • grammarian says:

        definition of a narcissist right there

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          Also too hilarious that she’s, once again, “in love.” Sure, Donks. Hopefully, Rain Puddle exercises his BM right to screw anything that moves on the playa and she loses her shit.Sorry, CL, but this guy is better off gone. Listening to that phone conversation? Wow, just wow. What kind of “man” would do that. He has no balls. Better that you know.

          • MY wet spot says:

            I want to punch him in the face for doing that!

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            I want to punch him too. I want to know what fucked up explanation he gave to Caeli, if any at all.

            One can only hope he’ll be part of Donkey’s long-overdue karmic smackdown.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        I just meant the old wives’ tale that if your ears are burning it means someone is talking about you. We are a whole LOT of someones talking about A Donkey right here, right now (over 400+ comments), and the number will increase exponentially when the Burners return to to the grid. Her ears will be incinerated.

        • MY wet spot says:

          I cannot wait for her to find this!

          I wonder how many hours after she reads this CL will receive a threatening text/call/letter from an “attorney”?

          Sadly, I am a little worried for Caeli because donks is clearly next level crazy right now.

          • woopocalypse says:

            i know i would chip in on a gofundme campaign to help CL with any legal fees if JA’s fuckhead dad does anything.

  63. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    Wow. Woooooooow. Good for you, CL, sounds like you dodged quite the bullet. I just do not understand the appeal of boning an expired, stroke-faced, clomping Donkey after being with a graceful tiny n cute for years. I also can’t believe she’s still able to trade on a decade-old magazine cover. Surely Chad’s pal David Block could / should have let him know any promises Jules may make to hook him up with her “connections” are bullshit lies and that her fb fans are indeed fake bots. And that she is a nightmare succubus stalker. Chad/Rain has it coming, and boy is dating Donks a good start to his karmic retribution.

    It also sounds like the old raunch Shanti may be among the Camp Mystic sisters who turned their backs on you. If so, good, you don’t want her stench on you either, trust. Good luck with the book and thank you for sharing your story.

    • Caeli La says:

      Yup, I definitely don’t trust Ali, or any person who considers Julia a friend. Luckily, there are very few of them, and I’ve been thoroughly enjoying weeding them out.

    • grammarian says:

      “rain” should have been the tipoff right there

  64. Caeli La says:

    For the record, cause I think its interesting for you all to know — Ali does read this site, and takes a lot of what you say to heart … sometimes learning a lot about herself by the ways you call her out and hold her accountable. The huge difference between AS and JA is that Ali, at least on some level, does care about how she affects people and uses this blog to try and learn about her blind spots. I am not defending her posts or anything at all — I fully understand how they appear sometimes, and why people react to them the way they do. She’s one of those people who is pretty different in real life than she appears to be online. But at least she is self-aware and empathetic enough to actually take this site seriously and reflect on the things you call her out for. Julia…. not so much.

    • grammarian says:

      my .02 is ali is bright enough to say all that but none of it is true

    • Sincerely Curious says:

      Be careful. You are way too trusting.

      You seem very nice and kind and believe the best about others.

      Some people deserve that, but many many do not!

    • Super Anonymous says:

      I can see what you are saying. The thing is Ali might be aware of what she’s doing but actually changing that shit behavior is another thing altogether. And I guess my main disgust with Ali is that, despite any truths we’ve handed to her, she chooses to behave the same way.

    • Stalker is the New Sisterectomy says:

      Ali has not actually changed her behavior so no, she’s not actually better or nicer or more honest or any of that. She doesn’t have “blind spots”; she has actual predatory habits. She might talk a good game but look at her actions not her words. Look at her kids.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Ali reminds me so much of Sante Kimes, and I can see her becoming more and more like her as she ages. Maybe grooming her kids to be in on it with her like Sante did. All Ali cares about is money and how she can cheat other people out of it, or game the system in her favor.

        • Stalker is the New Sisterectomy says:

          OMG I read that kid’s autobiography, what an insane story! I agree. It’s the same old pattern of GET WHAT YOU CAN.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Sociopaths/con artists can be very charming and chameleon-like. This is how they rope you in. She is NOT to be trusted. This is someone who likely has a jail cell a day/or an episode of 48 Hours devoted to her in her future.

  65. Sincerely Curious says:

    FWIW, When I talked about wolves in sheep’s clothing that don’t even know they are wolves, I specifically was thinking of Ali.

    I genuinely could believe that she doesn’t understand her own motives, and that she is actually quite predatory but doesn’t realize it about herself.

    • Dusty Documentary says:

      THIS, Caeli!

      Ali may be sweet and likable in person (as unlikely as that seems from here) but she is a con artist. Fact, not speculation.

      She makes subscribers/clients/marks sign a contract stating that they will not negatively review her services in any way. She advises people to convince their parents to hand over retirement accounts. She repeatedly goes into debt with clear plans not to repay.

      All I am saying is please, please do not ever give her any of your money.

    • Bunsy says:

      People who “don’t think” they are predatory are probably the worst/most dangerous predators.

      (I had an ex BF like this.)

  66. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    When using Firefox I’m getting some weird interstitial malware warning on this site. It is geared toward Windows users and I have a Mac, so I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t click on it. But it’s come up three times now.

    Just a head’s up in case anyone else sees this.

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