Updated: She’s Baaaaaaack! Julia Allison Attends “EPIC” NYE Party in SF!

wink

Well, that was quick! A promise to go dark on FB during the month of January, yet Donkey is posting fauxtos from an “epic” New Year’s Eve shindig that appears to have been attended by four woos, including Avo’s roomie Jess Johnson. In the grand tradition of sleazebag schemer Ali Shanti, there’s even some lesbo teasin’ for the boys.

jess

meow

gown

Update: She keeps right on posting. More lists. Good luck with that book, Donkey!

brainstorm

Brainstorm: What emotional state do I want to experience in 2015?

Uh, balance?

2010

The more things change … the more they stay the same.

Other than your increasingly dusty physical appearance, we’ve always been in agreement here, Donkey.  You never ever learn.

goof

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263 Responses to Updated: She’s Baaaaaaack! Julia Allison Attends “EPIC” NYE Party in SF!

  1. Invisible Segway says:

    Why are all those cushions on the floor? Gross.

  2. Handbag Is A Christian Whore With Food Issues says:

    Gosh, she’s so cool.

  3. The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

    Yup. No way in hell she was going to stay offline for an entire month.

  4. ShesJustStupid says:

    Where’s the food? The champagne? Did they go out somewhere after these were taken ? Or did they just stay in and trip?

  5. Malformed Face says:

    Ruff!

  6. Malformed Face says:

    Frosted lips, skirt pulls, dead eyes, buck teef, white eye shadow, hyperbole for a party of 4.

    Check, check, check, check, check, check!

    • Wangs for Kevin Rose says:

      She looks old in the face (especially those enormous nasolabial folds!) and her boobs look droppy and saggy.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

      Oh she showed us in her shiny gold lamé channeling old Hollywood drag queen. Has to be poorly dressed at every event with photographic evidence or else it didn’t happen-check!

      • Bunsy says:

        I’m surprised the didn’t wear the red shoes…

        • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker (***PAID***) says:

          I was wondering what color are the stripper shoes she is wearing under that dress.

          Because you just know she is wearing stripper shoes.

          • Dyspeptic's Yahoo Happiness Vertical says:

            and the dress isn’t hemmed to the right length because she’s taking it back on Monday

    • grammarian says:

      clearance rack juniors dress

  7. Wangs for Kevin Rose says:

    Gold is not her color.

  8. Worrisome Pelts says:

    How does she always manage to look unshowered? The funk radiates off the screen.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Either needs a shower to wash the ghost of chocolate syrup
      off of her top lip, or she is in dire need of a good depilatory.

  9. Malformed Face says:

    Julia Allison
    December 26, 2014 at 12:39am ·
    T minus one week from deactivating from FB for the month of January. !!!! Book deadline is gettin’ realllllll. I’ve deactivated once before – when I was writing the book proposal, for about 2 months. (Oddly, I found that when I deactivated from Twitter at the same time, in 2013, I never went back.) The time apart was healthy. I needed it. That said, I’m not anti-Facebook the way some people are (obviously) – I’ve whittled down my newsfeed to only the people I care deeply about, people who tend to share really interesting, thought provoking, positive sentiments and photos – plus, I use FB as a fantastic tool to connect with a wide variety of people via messaging. That said … I think the break will be good for me. A cleanse of sorts.
    Like · · Share

    • wilmexpert says:

      She made it one fucking day. Is this a new record?

      • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

        It might be! Didn’t she last one whole weekend back during the Gawker days? All that ridonkulous fanfare about leaving the interwebs and she was back up and running on Monday because “I have a contract” with a mysterious source who was never named.

        Always. Be. Lying.

    • KashMoney says:

      “Oddly, I found that when I deactivated from Twitter at the same time, in 2013, I never went back”

      This is her pretending she didn’t delete all of 2014 on twitter. always always lying and scheming

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        Hilareballz. She is just embarrassing.

      • Dances with Hooves says:

        what the hell is she talking about? she just twittered 3 hours ago.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

        Guess daddy couldn’t find anyone to sue over the Uber/Stalker party story (the most action attached to her name this year) so she erased 2014 on Twitter. At least she has those stunning pictures of when she married herself.
        Ali is throwing some serious shade over stupid self-marriage. And putting all her expired eggs on the new cock-who didn’t see that coming?

  10. Meow Mix says:

    Sweet holy mother of Jesus. If you’re going to wear a gold lamé dress,

    DO:
    -get a tan if you’re a pasty white woman
    -keep everything else simple
    -make sure it’s to a really fabulous event

    DON’T:
    -wear ten pounds of fake crystal jewelry including a fake engagement ring?
    -wear a cheesy tiara
    -wear BODY GLITTER
    -wear bronze glittery LIPSTICK and EYESHADOW!
    -wear it to an apartment party when everyone else is in jeans

    Going through old Fashion Week photos here on RBD the other day was so tragic. She really has never been able to dress herself. However, it’s shocking how much prettier she was only a few years ago! I remember when the Valentines Day cheesy bedazzled sweater Fashion Week event happened I thought she looked like a hot mess but looking back in it now she was 10x prettier than then she is now.

    • grammarian says:

      E_X_P_I_R_E_D

      the fillers and the surgery and the cry face have made the possibility of graceful maturing, never mind aging, equal to less than zero

    • Side-eyed to eternity! says:

      Agreed that she can”t dress herself without too much makeup & junk jewelry .
      Boyz are turned-OFF by all that stuff, Jules.
      But, I must say, her hair looks GOOD, and she could have looked great if she just learned how to EDIT. The dress with natural everything would have been great. Really.

      But, it takes discipline to self evaluate —– even easy things like dressing oneself in a stylish, elegant way. Might be a good resolution, but we all know this will NEVER happen, ever. #clompers

      • Cuckoo in a Tutu says:

        If Julia had the ability to self-evaluate for even one fleeting moment of her tedious little life, we wouldn’t be here.

      • Feierce Mani says:

        I’m sorry side eyed. Her hair looks like twirling turds.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        My hair has been up in a slouch hat for longer than I’m willing to admit, & yet, I think she has managed to make hers look worse …

    • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Coobie says:

      Well, someone else was wearing a plumed red velour top hat, (warm) leatherette gauntlets and a largish white napkin in place of a pocket square.

      For someone who cares so much about appearance, she does an amazing job at always choosing the least flattering garments she can find.

      • melting marionette says:

        i originally thought it was a “great gatsby” themed party.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          There may have been a theme, but I’m not
          so sure that gathering qualifies as a “party”.

          It looks like D0nk snared ’em for fauxtos
          before they escaped her clutches & got on
          their way to an actual party. #Desperate!

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        That’s the Philippe guy who is in their burner tribe. He bills himself as some sex counselor/guru.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Last name is Lewis. And it looks like this was the party: https://www.facebook.com/fuzzyp?ref=ts&fref=ts

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            It was a sex party.

          • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

            Club Exotica? Bwa ha ha! Oh, and Lewis? He’s the nastiest piece in that grifter circle jerk.

          • mcakez: Trainwreck Enthusiast says:

            Pushing the edge of my gag reflex since January 2nd.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            Lewis is the one who organized the club erotica NYE party, so if he is in the pics along with other tribe burners like Ariel and Jess and Donkey, it’s pretty clear this is the NYE party they all went to. The website has descriptions of the kinds of exhibitionist touching allowed. You have to apply to attend the party and say what you plan to do to “contribute.” Gross.

          • grammarian says:

            SEX PARTY WHERE PEOPLE PAY TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE WHO PAY TO BE THERE

            nothing more disgusting

          • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Coobie says:

            Ugh…why is it that the people you least want to imagine at an orgy are the ones who throw a gosh darned orgy every time?

          • frequent liar miles says:

            GAHHH! My gorge. Risen.

          • Tatoo me a green card selfie sub says:

            Not a full on sex party. But some spirituality, lol.This is from the event page:
            http://imgur.com/bScvZrw
            Pretty sick.

          • stalker is gently buffered by unreadable slop says:

            are you FUCKING kidding me, a swastika?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Rather than the Nazi, German-inspired swastka, I think it’s the Greek-inspired tetraskelion, which literally translates to: “four legged” …

            Ah hell / heil / hail D0nkey!

          • stalker is gently buffered by unreadable slop says:

            oh sure. And the confederate flag is just a collection of shapes. But it sure sets the tone.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      How could she think bronze lipstick, eyeshadow and nail polish would go with gold?

      The first picture looks like someone jizzed in her eye. Given the kind of party it was, it may have happened.

  11. Craying Mantis says:

    Casual observation but the newly posted word lists, combined with the previously posted word lists, make it clear why she is never truly content. Basically all she seeks out is glee/euphoria/etc rather than the normal human states that ground people. You think her parents experience “GLEE” (high school or otherwise) every single day? No. It’s in the moments. Having a partner to cuddle with on the sofa. Kids or a pet to snuggle with. Tasting a perfect meal you spent hours planning and then cooking and then sharing with a loved one. Contentment not mania is the way to go.

    • Craying Mantis says:

      “Glee. Awed. Excited. Filled with wonder.”

      Seriously she doesn’t sound healthy or sane, she sounds manic. Or depressed and longing for the next manic state. Or some sense that the manic pixie dream girl is actually anything truly wants in a partner or friend rather than a made-up figure that is not well treasured in real life, because life is steadier than that.

    • Always be Griftin' says:

      This is the life as imagined by the sort of person who watches credit card commercials and thinks, “That’s what I want! The African safari, walking cobblestone streets, hot cocao in the ski lodge, barefoot on the beach” etc. The ads never include paying the bill afterwards.

    • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Coobie says:

      “grounded AND flying (balance)” is my favorite part.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        Mine is “deliciousness in community”.

        What I love most about all of this is that she never lays out any action plan, no concrete tasks to achieve the desired outcomes, never soul-searches around what went well in the prior year and what didn’t and why.

      • Nosferatu-tu is wearing a Karmic Yoga Funtime Happy Face says:

        My favourite part is “competant”. LOLZ for days!

        • Nosferatu-tu is wearing a Karmic Yoga Funtime Happy Face says:

          ss;sf already mentioned down thread.
          Guess I’m not competANt, either!

  12. mcakez: Trainwreck Enthusiast says:

    Someone said last week that nose number one is growing back. They win all the points. I further hypothesize that it is desperately trying to get to the surface before it smothers to death under all that make-up.

  13. fakekidneyinfucktion says:

    She needs to never the strapless dresses.

  14. Prom Party Burnout and Associated Pod Couples says:

    That party looks so lame. The pic with Ariel White and Jess Johnson…whoa! I can’t tell who is worse, jess at least looks natural, but I do not understand the head wrap or arm-slit/Rachel Zoe knock off dress. Ariel looks like she’s going to fall over with the weight of her gigantic boobs… if you knockers that big, a lace top with nude lining is not your friend…or is the cap sleeve/key hole neck line. She looks so wide. And then donkey sparkling in the middle with gold sequin dress, costume jewelry, body glitter, cheese tiara…I just KANT!

    • Handbag Is A Christian Whore With Food Issues says:

      Methinks Ariel White spent her entire allowance on boobies.

    • Prima_donkey says:

      Much class such taste wow.

      Donks has clearly folded the straps of the gold monstrosity into her cleavage, and is the black dress her infamous madame outfit from way back? Maybe girlfriends also trade dresses and not just clit flicks.

      • Handbag Is A Christian Whore With Food Issues says:

        I thought the same thing about the Elvira dress.

      • mcakez: Trainwreck Enthusiast says:

        Holy shit. I didn’t notice, but you’re absolutely correct. You can see them poking up a little above the meat flaps.

        Like, why does she always feel the need to take ‘whore’ and multiply it times tacky + shameless to infinity squared? Why?

        Why, donkey? Your family looks like it was probably once ‘classy’ and well-mannered. Why do you insist on stepping up the trash game?

        You nasty.

    • BunnyBingo says:

      “I am the sexiest woo! No you are the sexiest woo! We are all the sexiest woos! Now which woo has the ayahuasca?”

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      I do not understand Jess Johnson’s do-rag with one bunny ear sticking up. And I do think she is wearing Donkey’s Brothel-Madam dress. What an odd combination.

      • Norse Horse says:

        I hate to say this, and just my observation, but a lot of women in SF have really terrible fashion sense. Always something offabout what they’re trying to pull off. I shouldn’t generalize like that, but it’s true.

        • frequent liar miles says:

          Whoa! Wait a minute! I believe old bunny-ear is SoCal based, thankyouverymuch (doesn’t she live in that horrifying cluster of rundown outbuildings surrounding a neglected and unsanitary-looking swimming pool? Donkey was shilling about that wannabe art compound someone months back, I believe.)

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      This was the party. http://clubexoticapresents.com

    • ARL says:

      Regarding the black dress: Donk totally did it first, and more whorish.

  15. Scooby Don't says:

    “Competant” at what, Donkey?

    We can definitely cross writing or spelling off the list.

  16. Comite Productores De Arroz Guayaquil (FKA Sparks...) says:

    She wants to be “well rested”. Her life must be so, so incredibly exhausting from all the work she does. Oh wait, no, she does NOTHING ALL FUCKING DAY. Does she even believe her own fables?!

  17. BunnyBingo says:

    She is really getting to the point where all of this gel pen written list of random words junk is not cute, but more sad lady muttering to themselves in the street.

  18. Malformed Face says:

    BONKERS, THY NAME IS JULIA

    Julia Allison
    1 hr · San Francisco, CA ·
    This New Years I attended an epically creative party with the theme “Living Art,” in which about 10 of the participants performed during a Performance section. Feeling held by the love of the other guests, friends of mine from Burning Man and San Francisco, I took a creative risk and chose to do an interpretive dance to this essay I wrote (read by a very talented girlfriend of mine). It was one of the most expressed moments of my life.
    TRANSMISSION OF TRUTH
    We are all artists, and our life is our canvas.
    We paint with emotion on a canvas of time and space. Our stories are our art, and there is a story in all of us that wants to be lived fully. Some stories are messy, some tragic, some shocking, some achingly beautiful. Some are well known, some aren’t ever told … but in the end, that’s all this “life” thing is. A billion stories, interwoven. Some threads tangled, some braided intricately, some long, some cut tragically short … Threads making up a massive fabric … this great experiment we’re all a part of … here for a moment, to create art, to dance together, to experience every possible permutation of this human existence, this living art.
    We are all artists, and our life is our canvas.
    What kind of art we created, what kind of love we made, how we danced, how we sang, how we walked through life … The aching beauty of the flickering flame, the flame of a tiny life. How can we live so fully that we break the boundaries of our minuscule existence, how can we leap so high that we fall into a world bigger than ourselves?
    We are all artists, and our life is our canvas.
    Through music. Silence. Breath. Dance. Celebration. Love making. Nature. Through words that lift us into another world. Stories that remind us that we are more than these bodies. Through gut wrenching, soul crushing heartbreak. Moments of darkness so black we believe we have become blind, fog so thick we cannot breathe, only to wake up and find unexpected clarity: sunshine so bright it’s a blur of white light, air so clear and crisp we’re inhaling pure consciousness itself.
    We are all artists, and this life is our canvas.
    Excruciating. Ecstatic. Sometimes in the same week. Sometimes in the same day. Sometimes in the same hour … sometimes even the same minute, then second, until you realize you’re living a paradox: you are experiencing simultaneously a sensation so intense, it is both agony and euphoria. You are alive; both chained and free in the same moment. Your choices set you free. Your choices chain you. It’s all perspective – and that can change in an instant, with a single breath. Inhale, mmm. Exhale, ahhh..
    We are all artists, and our life is our canvas.
    If we’re going to incarnate, we want to go ALL THE FUCKING WAY. We want to be ALL of who we are. So USE US, we scream to the divine. Use us up! Allow us to embody this life FULLY, all the extremes, as much as we can take, until we are exhausted heaps at the end of this incarnation … old, wrinkled, all of our lessons learned, all of our hard-earned wisdom given back, every ounce screaming, “We did it!!! We lived completely, there is nothing left for this go round. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, God. Thank you divine spirit. Thank you for this completely unique human experience. All of it. The pain. The confusion. The joy. The doubt. The magic. The moments of feeling SO LOST. The moments of feeling SO FOUND. The moments that we didn’t want to be here anymore … the moments we didn’t want it to ever end.”
    Because we are artists, and our life is our canvas.
    Inhale … Exhale … Inhale … Exhale … Inhale … Exhale …
    Like · · Share

    • Malformed Face says:

      SHE DID AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE, YOU GUYS!

      • Julia's Jowls says:

        I would kill to see that video

        • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

          Please baby Jesus, still snug in the manger, may one of the Wise Men bring a video tape of this interpretive dance to your cradle (i mean, what kind of gift is incense anyway?)

        • Who do you think you are? says:

          Me, too. My god, this is the funniest, worst thing ever. And on top of its worstness, she plagiarized the prosaic words of Amber Rae. You guys, this may be the end of me. I can’t take the Canklehausen.

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            Amber Bray plagiarized it. It’s from a poem (using that term loosely) by Kobi Yamada.

          • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

            And “Life was his canvas” was the headline for People’s obituary of Andy Warhol. So Mr. Yamada yoinked it either from there or from subsequent artist obituaries…

          • grammarian says:

            TRIBUTE. HOMAGE.

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker (***PAID***) says:

        Please please please, Santa, I have been good this year, let me see a video of her NYE “interpretative dance”, please.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        I NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO.

        Is there such a thing as ‘Pre-Cankleshausen’? Like pre-gaming? Only instead of drinking beers in the parking lot before the game, I am feeling intense embarrassment and shame in anticipation of watching the video. Whatever it’s called, I have that.

        • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Coobie says:

          Me too, Dr. Gary. But, God help me, I still want to see the video.

          • Nosferatu-tu is wearing a Karmic Yoga Funtime Happy Face says:

            Oh god, it would be like watching a horror movie through your hands over your face.

            The only way I managed to get through that shit screed was imagining how la Prima Donka would have been “interpreting” her profound words (profoundly disturbing words)…
            Inhale *nostrils flare* Exhale * braaaaaay*
            Inhale *nostrils flare* Exhale *braaaaaay*

            Category 5 Cringe Factor

    • Comite Productores De Arroz Guayaquil (FKA Sparks...) says:

      Isn’t her “essay” the same word salad she posted on Facebook last week? I suppose she couldn’t even bother to be original for her fellow “artists” in the party.

    • grammarian says:

      shorter: no job now or ever

    • Tingolayo says:

      “We did it! We lived completely! We lived off our parents’ money and refused to get jobs!”

      achingly beautiful, gut-wrenching, paradox, blah blah blah all the vapid hyperbole and trite woo catch phrases

    • Bunsy says:

      um, artists get paid for their work.

    • BunnyBingo says:

      Lady, get a grip.

    • CaptainGary says:

      So was the “interpretive dance” more or less “expressed” than the Four Non Blondes lipdub? Like…oh, I don’t know, POINTING UP THE HILL WHEN LIP SYNCHING THE WORDS “GREAT BIG HILL?” That’s art, motherfucker.

    • Donkicles says:

      tl;dr

      • Such happy. Many blessed. So lies. says:

        Too long. Half read. Regretted decision. Sprained eyes from rolling. Gave up.

  19. No Cuntry For Old Donkeys says:

    Remember when she sarcastically asked how long it would take Native Americans to “get it together”? That was 2013, right?

    The cunt-dom continues

  20. CaptainGary says:

    I also like how she tries to create a method for making resolutions – as if that’s all that fucking hard. Want to quit smoking? Stop smoking. And don’t kill yourself if you don’t succeed the first time. You don’t need all this bullshit from grounding to invocation to answering questions about intentions and shit.

    Gee, thanks for “codifing your process” that’s NEVER. EVER. Worked for you, Julia. Us mortals have a lot to learn.

  21. Comite Productores De Arroz Guayaquil (FKA Sparks...) says:

    I don’t have the time to do a transbraytion of the whole list but “union with beloved(s)” = desperately seek for a fucking wallet that’ll marry me.

    • KashMoney says:

      i think it’s more “I wish my family gave me attention again instead of caring about the baby”

  22. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Still sucking up to Momvocado. In the comments about her “performance”:

    Karen Block Russell I love that piece…so beautifully and expressively written, and I am quite certain your dance was the same. Happy New Year beautiful Julia! xoxoK
    1 hr · Like · 1

    Julia Allison Happy new year Karen!! Your son was one of the reasons I began flirting with my inner artist again. THANK YOU for creating him!
    27 mins · Like

    • Not That Interested in Europe says:

      Ok, that is all just weird. It is wincing me.

    • frequent liar miles says:

      Yeah, thanks a lot, Julie Haggerty, for releasing Donkey’s “inner artist.” You have SO been reported.

      • Nosferatu-tu is suffering Repetitive Eye Rolling Strain says:

        and they all fucked each other- at the NYE Exotica party. Yuck.

    • Dyspeptic's Yahoo Happiness Vertical says:

      Also, Karen, your son is the reason I have glommed on so hard to his new roommate, Jess Johnson, who is now my vocal coach and wearing my Elvira dress! So so hoping Avocado will see the adorbs fauxtos of us at the epic New Year’s Party and realize he wants to get back together with me agains.

  23. Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker (***PAID***) says:

    She looks high as kite in the tiara picture. I don’t know what kind of drugs she was on, but I know she took A LOT.

    Inhale, bray, exhale. Inhale, bray, exhale. Inhale, bray, exhale.

    Inhale.

    Bray.

    Exhale.

    • Nosferatu-tu is suffering Repetitive Eye Rolling Strain says:

      Hahahahaha I wrote the same above! ss;sf again, I should have read here first.

    • frequent liar miles says:

      Her iris in that first picture looks like a discolored penny placed on the eyelid of a bled-out corpse.

  24. Albie Quirky in Exile says:

    OMG this party looks like a fucking nightmare. Horrible people “performing” and then group “sexual exploration” led by Exquisite Lover Philippe, Creepy Sex Dragoon. Ugh ugh ugh never stop retching.

    I want to know what the giant lawn bag of lawn bags was for, though. Or maybe I don’t.

    • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

      Tho exquithite! I’d rather be waterboarded than attend this tacky, tacky, tacky raunchfest.

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        Aaaaaaah! Can you catch chlamydia over the Internet?

      • Not That Interested in Europe says:

        God these woos can’t stop enabling each other. The two pics this guy posted should have been laughed off the internet, but nah, a bunch of female woos fall over themselves to tell him how hot he is.

        • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Coobie says:

          I was wasting precious moments of my actual life thinking about the woos today and it seems like they just sort of pass money around, where does it come from? They all seem to be the only ones supporting each other’s various conferences, books, money maps, other nonsense. Part from parental support and gritting the elderly, where do they get the money?

          • grammarian says:

            well, we know from rhintstone teef, credit card debt that they then walk away from

          • Nosferatu-tu is suffering Repetitive Eye Rolling Strain says:

            Oh god, I walked past a salon the other day that had a sign in the window for getting a rhinestone on your tooth, all for the bargain price of $25, if I recall correctly. It’s difficult to remember accurately as I was too busy looking for a shower to vom in.

      • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

        No one flicks clit like Gaston
        Talks shit like Gaston

    • Invisible Segway says:

      Some loser on Facebook said “thank you for being so generous with us all” You know she didn’t bring everyone a tiara or some cranberry guac which makes these the grossest words ever written about julia. Some other creep said “really nice to drop in with you on new year’s” – lolz that she pretends to be drug/alcohol- free.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Didn’t she have “drop in” as one of her little stupid resolutions? That must be woospeak for molly or something.

      • Look up drop in @ urban dictionary

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          ” to literally drop in on a woman when she is bent over during sex; a combination of doggystyle and the jackhammer; where the male goes up and down in a vertical motion ”

          Oh, how I wish this is what she and he meant.

          • Invisible Segway says:

            OMG I have never heard of that! So very expired and of lower consciousness. Scroll up to long-faced Gaston and think about this for a second and try not to retch.

          • Snow says:

            Ew. Now JA is being passed around at sex parties? Please tell me I’m reading that wrong

      • Midwestern Verve Clicquot says:

        Maybe they all put up with Julia because she has a steady supply of drugs.

  25. RIP St. J'Lien says:

    Her face looks poopy.

    • RIP St. J'Lien says:

      JFAing myself to clarify: I don’t just mean she looks bad. She looks like she smeared actual poop on her face.

    • Handbag Is A Christian Whore With Food Issues says:

      I have a friend who documents a lot of what his four-year-old daughter says (she really is so precious), and one exchange went like this:

      DAUGHTER: I never said I love swinging at the park. I may have indicated I love it.
      DAD: Who taught you the word ‘indicated’?
      DAUGHTER: Some poopy head.

  26. Julia's chin implant says:

    OT, but have you guys seen Ali Shanti’s post about her new BF?

    • Handbag Is A Christian Whore With Food Issues says:

      I did. She’s something, isn’t she. He’s a CHILD.

      • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

        Excuse you! He’s a “manifestation coach” and “#1 best smelling author” of self-help eBooks. Who the fuck is he talking to here?

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          “The Secret” in practice. What an asshole.

          • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

            He’s an utter fool. As usual, the old raunch even manages to get in a shill for her fellow grifters while talking about her OMG! baby faced lover, even though she’ll always be The One. Nobody can flick Ali’s clit quite like Ali. Jesus Christ, does she ever shut up? ME ME ME I I I!

            “The no “relationship” diet is officially over.
            Back in mid-October after discovering my obsession with relationship and propensity to fall head over heels in love quite quickly, I declared a no-man diet and got engaged to myself. I commemorated that with my rose quartz “big rock”, as you may recall from the pic I posted a couple months ago. (Thank you Debbie Lichter)

            After just one night of trying on the idea of no men, I recognized the absurdity of that in my life (more than half my close friends are men and lovers, and I have female lovers too, so did that mean a no people diet?) + after a couple of direct conversations with Daniel Claussen, Daniel Schmachtenberger and Cory Tanner Glazier about relationship addiction, the ONE, and hormones, I recognized it wasn’t men I needed to break the habit of, it was this idea of partnership, the “ONE”, and my old concept of relationship.

            So, for the first time in my life, I really dropped in to single. And I loved it!

            I discovered this place of power where I love just being with me. It helped me see why I keep getting into long distance relationships and how that works so well for me. It helped me understand what I want my next relationship to look like. And, yes, to call that in.

            I shifted up the “rules” and replaced my no-man diet with a no-“relationship” diet. The #1 and only real rule: no telling any guy he’s THE ONE and not even entertaining the thought of it myself.

            It hasn’t been easy. Shortly after I made this promise to myself (possibly the following week), I met Michael Jacobs. I was speaking at Dmitriy Kozlov and Yanik Silver’s NEXT Mastermind and he was sitting in the front row, off to my left.

            I could feel our connection as I was speaking and could barely look at him, without risking breaking into a huge smile of nervousness and excitement.

            After the talk, he came up to me and we have spent quite a lot of time together since then. Perhaps you have seen some of the posts about us and pictures he has posted.

            Our friendship grew as he met me up in Santa Cruz for my birthday for a sacred ceremony on land we both love and to spend time with one of my favorite musicians.

            Then we road tripped down to LA (or I should day he drove me) while I did business on the phone the whole way. I was impressed with the way he held space for that and didn’t once drag on my energy or expect anything from me energetically that was not 100% aligned with what I wanted to give.

            It felt so clean.

            Repeatedly, as we got to know each other more, that was the feeling I had.

            This feels good. Easy. Clear.

            When he shared his true feelings with me (that he had loved me from the minute we met), I was ready to receive his words. And to acknowledge my feelings for him as well. Without engaging in the past fantasy of the ONE (and ridiculous amounts of future projection) as I had found myself do in the past.

            What I wasn’t ready for is “relationship” in the sense that while Michael and I were exploring relationship without question (as he wrote about a couple weeks or so ago on his page before I felt really ready, but was really happy to see), I was still following the rules of my no relationship diet, which meant doing exploration of relationship differently than I have in the past.
            Stay present. Limit the future projection as much as possible. And definitely no talk (internal or external of THE ONE). Remember, I AM the one.

            So I haven’t posted about our relationship here. It wasn’t time.

            Now it is.

            The time frame for the no relationship diet ended last night.

            I promised myself I would keep my focus on my self being the one until 12/31 and then re-evaluate.

            I did it.

            And I am never going back. The idea of THE ONE other than this one (me) is released. At the same time, I AM ready to tell you I am deeply in love with Michael.

            I have a LOT more to say about this, but for now this is enough.

            I spent the new year with my children, close friends and lovers and a man I love who is loving and accepting all of it, facing his fears and showing me what it really means to love.

            One thing I am keeping from the no relationship diet and that Michael is regularly reminding me with his modeling is how to be here right now, loving what is fully. And to stay present with myself.

            I am so grateful to share this love with you as we step into the new year and say thank you to 2014 for so much growth and learning. Finally, a few pictures.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

            She’s just happy some joker wants to juggle her hard-boiled eggs.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            How can you look at those videos and not feel such extreme canklehausen? I would be mortified to be with someone that ridiculous. This is a SNL skit waiting to happen.

          • Gilly (and the entire Cosmos) Mrs. Gilly Blake says:

            Those vids just get funnier & funnier. “Welcome back to the Money Manifestation Miracle Series.” Ah, of course he’s with Shantitown.

          • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

            Closed eyes looking up to the right trigger for lying (people tell him “money is the root of all evil”) Dude, you’re 12-no one is discussing anything but your bedtime with you.

          • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker (***PAID***) says:

            So la Shanti was disillusioned after her relatioshipTMI with Gross Fillet came crashing down so she said “no men ever again”, then she met this dude, fell in love and changed her mind.

            Sounds familiar? Of course it sounds familiar, it is what has happened to every human that was ever in a failed relationship at some point in his/her life.

            But since now it has happened to her, it must be special and unique and trailblazing and groundbreaking and NEW and needs to be explained in 25 paragraphs in a facebook posting to her hundreds of followers.

            What a stupid vapid cunt she is!

          • frequent liar miles says:

            “Much growth” = Human Papillomavirus.

        • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

          Who was the art director on this? What was the point of looking way, way off camera…like 75 degrees off camera?

          Also, VIZZZualizing.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            The thousand-yard stare? (I only got about 2:45 in before I bailed; I’ve managed to block w/e the hell I subjected myself to)

            Was he trying to convey deep contemplation?

  27. Malformed Face says:

    OMG! SHE DIDN’T…

    I’m pretty sure Donkey used Aliie and Britt Baugher’s first born to shill pajamas…

    Julia Allison added 4 new photos.
    5 mins ·
    “Every year I purchase matching Christmas sweaters for my family, but this year, I thought we needed to up our game … we needed matching personalized plaid Christmas PJs from PajamaGram! Unfortunately I waited until Xmas day and everyone happened to be dressed already so they didn’t wear the plaid bottoms (that I was sporting) – but next year, we’re going to go full out and wear them from the moment we wake up!!! I highly recommend getting these for your own family – for any occasion (they have all kinds!) — with Robin Baugher and 2 others.”

    She uses two photos of Noah and tagged the company. When you go to the company’s page, they have Katherine Heigel and Patrick Schwartzneger (sp) photos (in the pjs) splashed on their FB. Will Noah end up on PajamaGrams FB page? Did donkey get free PJs in exchange for these photos? Is Britt Baugher ever going to throw her in the lake and be done with her?????

    • Reeks of desperate tutus says:

      Who looks more completely freaked to be held by her, lily or the baby. That might be my new favorite fauxto.

      • Morrocanwear with Antlers and a Coobie says:

        She can’t possibly have been paid for this. It has to be Coobies part two. She is posting and tagging the company in hopes of becoming a spokesmodel for them. Despite what we learned from Star Search, spokesmodel is not a viable career, particularly for sturdily haunched donkeys who will soon be 34.

        Nonetheless, I am looking forward to several pajama photoshoots this winter. Please let there be at least one yoga photoshoot in pajamas and one with her joyously leaping (with cry-face).

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          PAID w/ shilled PJ’s which she tries to pass off as thought-out, PAID-for Xmas presents = Broke. As(s). Fuck.

          #JuliaAllisonCraymasGrift

        • grammarian says:

          if i had the misfortune to be related to that trash, YOU CANNOT TAKE MY PICTURE EVER AND YOU ESPECIALLY CANNOT TAKE MY CHILD’S PICTURE AND IF YOU EVER POST A PICTURE OF ME OR MY CHILD OR ME AND MY CHILD I WILL DESTROY YOU

      • Wilmexpert says:

        Note that in the last pic the SIL is covering both her name and the baby’s, everyone else’s is clearly visible, even the dogs who are turned around to show it. Love the shade.

        • Albie Quirky in Exile says:

          I love her lack of tolerance for A Donkey’s shenanigans. And that bb just slays me. I think he has the cutest face.

          So Roommate was there to photograph shill-trolling? Nice. I hope she enjoyed the sad ham.

      • My Parent's Gave Me Ten Measly Grand says:

        It looks like Brit isn’t letting her tag him anymore? Good for him.

        • Malformed Face says:

          That is sexually delicious. Makes me think Britt Baugher reads here. I wonder if he confronted her. Using his son as an #UNPAID model so she could scam $100 bucks worth of Made in China pajamas is seriously despicable and shows she has no boundaries whatsoever.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            $34 apiece for the dog and baby outfits. $73 apiece for the adult PJ sets.

            All from a company that advertises on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          LIKE

      • mcakez: Trainwreck Enthusiast says:

        Wow. I know someone mentioned Lilly’s cataracts, but I didn’t bother to look. They’re so glaringly obvious in these photos you don’t even need to make an effort to spot them.

        TAKE CARE OF YOUR GODDAMNED ELDERLY DOG YOU VILE FUCKING EGO MONSTER.

        By which I mean let her retire peacefully in a stable environment with her sibling. The selfishness of carting around that poor feeble dog just makes my head explode. The JIML was obsessed with adopting a puppy after seeing those Facebook posts of the baby growing up with his puppy. She doesn’t even LIKE dogs. Now the dog lives – ignored – in the small garage, where she has lived almost exclusively since she was adopted and it breaks my fucking heart.

        I just wish these narcissistic assholes would leave other living creatures out of their dysfunction.

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

      Her bully marketing (not to be confused with bull market) is so vile.

  28. DeLurking Cuz She' A Dumbass says:

    Julia Allison
    3 hrs · Muir Beach, CA ·
    “You are so good for me,” she said. “And isn’t that how it should always be?”
    May our relationships in 2015 bring us to ever higher levels of consciousness, love, delight and laughter.

    Why do I feel like the next personality *is* lesbian?

    • Julia's Chin Implant says:

      She’s copying Jena la Flamme. She writes like this. How sad that I know this!

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        I had the same thought, so don’t feel bad. We have learned the woo language by osmosis.

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      Yup. I bet Ali Shanti has already convinced her to take female “lovers.”

      • grammarian says:

        someone said a long time ago that attempting to like men is part of the problem, though the other team wouldn’t want her either

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

        Yep #OneTaste

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        You know…if someone really feels they want to do this then good for them. But to do it just because it’s edgy or woo or whatever…that’s not the right reason. And people can get hurt in the process. So FUCK YOU Ali and whomever is forcing this on people just to make them feel they’re with it. I don’t think sexuality is made, it’s born and there are a lot of bullshit poseurs who are fucking up others’ lives just for their own ego gratification. And that is WRONG.

  29. Such happy. Many blessed. So lies. says:

    So what she is saying, is that she is none of the things she has listed.

    Seems about right.

  30. Miss Cast says:

    Pic #1 – Full-blown stroke
    Pic #2 – Complexion inspexion for all the boys
    Pic #3 – I’m tho fiercth! Rawrrrr (or incipient stroke cramping)
    Pic #4 – Fall-down-go-boom face
    Pic #7 – Smiling through the tears

    • mcakez: Trainwreck Enthusiast says:

      Pic #1 — Gangy, please stop winking at me.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker (***PAID***) says:

      Also accepted:

      Pic #1 – High as a kite, and not in a good way
      Pic #2 – High as a kite, and not in a good way
      Pic #3 – High as a kite, and not in a good way
      Pic #4 – High as a kite, and not in a good way
      Pic #7 – High as a kite, and not in a good way

  31. BunnyBingo says:

    All these people are insane.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      It just underscores what a sad, desperate life she’s living if she has to hang around with losers like this just to feel accepted.

  32. Woo Dunnit says:

    Way OT but had to share: Was just at a dinner in Palm Beach with Harold Ford and I couldn’t help but think what Julia’s life could’ve been. Of course I didn’t bring her up but OMG I wanted to!

  33. Dances with Hooves says:

    Julia Allison
    4 hrs · Muir Beach, CA ·
    Deactivating tonight (Saturday) to focus on the book. Message now or forever hold your peace! Well. Maybe not forever. But until Feb 1st at least
    Like · Share

    And of course she changed her profile pic to the one of her with her books. Because, she is writing a book. See what she did there? Hahha!

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Ramy day book lover!

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Rainy. Also…WTF is she doing in Muir Beach? Must have the Marina stall rented out.

    • grammarian says:

      maybe rehab finally?

    • Dyspeptic's Yahoo Happiness Vertical says:

      Message now, Avocado. Didn’t you see the NYE photos? message now, dammit.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Message now. I even complimented you to your mother, dammit. Answer me. I will not be ignored.

    • Ciaobella says:

      I though if you deactivated your page, it would no longer be accessible, yet her page is still there?

    • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

      All threat and no follow through. What she really means is that she suckered someone into taking picutures of her writing Facebook posts while she pretends the book will write itself.

  34. INCONSEQUENTIAL TITTIES says:

    Far from being embarrassed, I think she practically makes herself wet writing these things. She lovvvves her own handwriting, and her little annotations make her feel tho thmart…just like when she notes up a book.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      It really is such a smug affectation. All the little stars and circles and underlines. It’s just like anything else in her life—she thinks that simply by showing up, she’s accomplished something. That by spazzing out on a stage to a bad poem, she’s become a dancer and an artist. By writing these words on a page, she’s clearly become an expert in making goals and resolutions, even to the point where she feels she has to instruct people how to do it. Never mind that she never follows through on any of it, to Donkey, the accomplishment is in the faking, and finding people dumb enough to not see through her phony existence.

      • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

        I FUCKED A HOMELESS CARNY AND MARRIED MYSELF

        I HAVEN’T PAID MY OWN BILLS IN SIX YEARS

        THIS IS SUCCESS, BRITT! MOM! DAD!

      • Grammarian says:

        The people in the big houses where does their money come from, why do their parents write them bigger checks than mine

  35. Norse Horse says:

    This whole page has been a feast of awfulness, it’s pretty great. From Goldie Strokeface to Pajamascam, and everything in between. What a world she lives in, mental.

  36. Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker (***PAID***) says:

    Are catladies familiar with the great thpiritual works of J P Sears?

    https://www.facebook.com/awakenwithjp?fref=nf

    He is brilliant, because he is almost indistinguishable from the real (fake) thing.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Look at his actual webpage though…I don’t know if it’s a sophisticated case of Poe’s Law or what, but it looks like he also has a legit (ha, if you can call it that) coaching biz.

      His video on Ayahuasca is also hilarious.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Check out his website and tell me what you think: http://www.innerawakeningsonline.com/

      • Tingolayo says:

        Hmm. On the one hand, he’s another “coach” without any apparent psych training; on the other hand, he mentions specific goals like “stress reduction” and “add more meaning to life” (as opposed to “dancing in the pure divine light of leaning into spirit” or whatever.)

        He actually calls out the vapid California brand of woo-speak in his article “The Bliss Bunny and the Grounded Gopher.” Maybe I’ve had too much of the meaningless babble of Donkey’s dumb “tribe” of poseurs, but Sears seems downright sane and insightful compared to them.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          He does come across as pretty down to earth for a woo. I watched a couple of his non-humorous videos. He seems pretty genuine, if awfully long-winded.

          If you watch his humorous video about Ayahuasca and see how he handled people in the comments getting angry with him about it, he’s very anti-poseur. He’d have a field day with Donkey for sure.

    • grammarian says:

      real fake thing, speaking of

      themarinacook.com

      Devin Stetler, The Healing Cook on Vimeo
      vimeo.com/71181420

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

        The Marina Cook | Private Chef in SF’s Marina and Pac
        Private Chef=Fraud

  37. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Wow, the PajamaGram people are getting flak from Facebook posters for advertising during Rush Limbaugh’s show.

    Way to go supporting right wing assholes, Donkey.

    Also, you just KNOW she grifted those PJs. The dog and baby ones were $34 apiece including monograms and there were two for that baby. So that’s four right there. Add to this the monogrammed tops for all of them. I couldn’t find a price for those but they had to be at least the same price. So probably $300 alone for just stupid Christmas PJs.

    I thought Allie looked pregnant in one of the pics. Let’s hope so, it will continue to drive Donkey insane.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker (***PAID***) says:

      Oh, honey, she would support NAMBLA for 50 bucks and a fridge magnet.

      • Winchester House of Fauxtoshoots & Microphones says:

        Coobie also supports this chick-her personal page is filled with her killing animals.
        Angela Jennings
        Another GREAT company I work with has stepped up to support the cause and donated 500 Coobie bras to everyone registered to run in the Komen Race with Williams …

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        WH&B…/slain.

    • Malformed Face says:

      You know Julia Allison got free pajamas from PajamaGram by trading on her fake 144,000 FB followers and promising cute pictures of Britt and Allie Baugher’s son. She is now involving her family and their privacy in her grifts.

      I would seriously lose it if my sister used my kid’s photo in her careless scams.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        I love how the family refused to change into the pajama bottoms for the picture. Ruined Donkey’s dream of getting posted on the pajama company’s FB page. I bet she brayed about this for the rest of the day.

        • Nosferatu-tu is suffering Repetitive Eye Rolling Strain says:

          Yep! She was up too late (as always) and they were already dressed. So, she stays up all night googling herself and posting old pictures of herself then sleeps in to an ungodly hour and expects the household to revolve around her timeframe and wait until the Speshul Snowflake is finally awake. Imagine the hoof stomping that occurred when they refused to get undressed and put on her Speshul pajamas. Sweet baby Jeebus, what kind of fucktard gives pajamas but either doesn’t give them the night before or doesn’t wake up at the same time as everyone else to give them to everyone if she wants them to wear them. Ugh, too many ‘them’s, so sorry, so non -Grammarian.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Britt & Allie shouldn’t let her see him again until she’s made to sign non-disclosure & confidentiality agreements.

        No I wonder what her griftery agenda was w/ the Noah Way 5k.

        The more I think about it, this may be what I consider her all-time lowest of lows.

  38. BiPolarMacbook says:

    I realize this has been asked eleventybillion times but

    HOW DOES NOT ONE PERSON IN HER LIFE TELL HER HOW BATSHIT CRAZY SHE IS / LOOKS? LIKE NOT ONE SINGLE HUMAN BEING!!!?

    That material looks like the packing material Fredericks use to send me with their crap 15 years ago!

    My 5 yr old niece wouldn’t go within 10 feet of that tiara.

    Side note – help, in 4-6 sentences, how do I explain this “thing” to hubs – he asked “what’s that?” – ha.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Internet celebrity with serious untreated mental illness who puts herself on display 24/7, including boasting about attending New Year’s Eve orgies.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Auntie Batshit decides to LET IT UNFOLDonline, IRT.
      A cautionary tale / tail / tell …
      Supporting Cast includes IRL-frauds, hucksters & dancing woo.
      Play along — debate who’ll be on a criminal investigative show firsst!1!
      :yawn:: Predictable, boring D0nkey is predictable & boring.

      * SPONSORED POST * #CoobieBras * #PajamaGram * #TRESemmé *

  39. BiPolarMacbook says:

    Bingo…I smell a haiku contest coming on!

    Top three submissions get tickets to the next interpretive clit flicking self wedding

    Hub got bored and went to take a nap, while muttering “is she a mom who wears her kids clothes and tries to hang out with them?

    She wishes!!!

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