Donks’ Marriage (To Herself) Is Being Officiated By An Admitted Sexual Predator And Child Molestor

Some of you have uncovered that the man officiating Donkey’s marriage to her reflection is a man with a host of accusations of sexual misconduct. Meet Marc Gafni. This man needs to seriously start working on cleaning up his Google results FROM JAIL.

Marc-Gafni-Headshot-for-Your-Unique-Self-FINAL-small

I’m too delicate to dive into the icky details, but his Wikipedia page provides a summary. There is also this.

Over the last few years The Awareness Center has been attempting to warning the public and various rabbinic organization that confessed child molester, Rabbi Marc Gafni (AKA: Mordechai Gafni, Mordechai Winartz) has been in the process of reinventing himself.  The Awareness Center has been asking all rabbinic organizations to post public statements on their web pages denouncing this confessed sex offenders behavior.  Back in 2004, Rabbi Marc Gafni confessed to sexually abusing a thirteen-year-old girl in the state of New York.

And this:

An Israeli-based spiritual institute has fired its main rabbi over sexual abuse claims, less than two years after several prominent American religious figures rallied to defend him against earlier allegations.

At least five female students and staff members have come forward to accuse Rabbi Mordechai Gafni of luring them into sexual relationships through intimidation, psychological manipulation and deception. Late last week, Gafni, an Orthodox-trained rabbi who has become a star of the New Age-style Jewish Renewal movement, was dismissed from his position as the head of Bayit Chadash, a center on the Sea of Galilee that he co-founded six years ago.

Gafni subsequently issued a public apology for having “hurt people I love,” and said that he would seek in-patient treatment for what he called “a sickness.”

Just when you thought these hippies couldn’t get anymore disgusting. Way to go there, Donks. Somehow, you’ve made something as creepy as a self-marriage even more disgusting by association. I guess ALL THE GIRLS don’t matter on your “wedding” day. Whoops!

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173 Responses to Donks’ Marriage (To Herself) Is Being Officiated By An Admitted Sexual Predator And Child Molestor

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      Julia and Mordechai are a match! An outline of Mordechai’s personality traits from the Jewish Survivors blogspot:

      a. has a grandiose sense of self-importance – exaggerates achievements and talents.
      b. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power and brilliance.
      c. Believes that he is “special” and unique and can only associate with other special or high-status people or institutions.
      d. Requires excessive admiration
      e. Has a sense of entitlement – expecting especially favorable treatment or compliance with his expectations
      f. Is interpersonally exploitative; taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
      g. Is envious of others or believes that others are envious of him
      h. Lacks empathy; is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
      i. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

  1. Thexy Thilver Trout Pout's 5150 Letting it Unfold says:

    Oh he did all that last year (isn’t that usually her line to distance from any accountability?) WHERE THE FUCK IS JULIA ALLISON’S FATHER THAT’S PAYING FOR HIS 30+ DAUGHTER’S WEDDING TO HERSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME DIRT CRACKED OUT ON DRUGS OFFICIATED BY A PEDOFILE?
    I’ve never used all caps before-I’m better now.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      This is some high level fucked up shit and seriously disturbing. We all know that Julia will read about this here, so if she doesn’t do something to get this sicko out of her stupid stunt ceremony, it will mean that she is truly lost — beyond any help or possible redemption.

      • brayniac says:

        I’m never one to poke the donkey but seriously if i had more fucks to give I would email Peter Baugher. That shit be creepy.

  2. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    Reposting:

    “But he admitted to having had a sexual relationship with another girl, when she was 13 and 14 and he was 19 and 20, studying to become a rabbi.
    “I was a stupid kid and we were in love,” Gafni was quoted as saying in The Jewish Week. “She was 14 going on 35, and I never forced her.”
    The woman told Rosenblatt that Gafni had “repeatedly sexually assaulted her” when he stayed at her house for the Sabbath. The rabbi also told her that she would be “shamed in the community” if she told anyone.”

    http://forward.com/articles/965/rabbi-fired-over-sex-claims-defenders-offer-mea-c/?

    A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CANNOT CONSENT. Fuck you Julia.

    • Tingolayo says:

      “She was 14 going on 35″=”She seduced me”

      Fuck off you fucking rapist and the fucking do-nothing Donkey whose pointless vanity stunt you’re “officiating.” Don’t these people have anything better to do? They hold a big circle jerk in the desert and think they’re somehow making the world a better place.

      Gaza… Ukraine… Honduras… Ebola virus… children burned alive… Marry Yourself!!! Take more photos of yourself! Get professional makeup and hairstyling and a spray tan because you’re a “hippie” who’s living off other people’s money and haven’t done an honest day’s work in your life.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Don’t forget Alexis Martin Neely, AKA Ali Shanti — she’s going to put up video of herself every single day because …. ? Yeah, no; there’s no good answer for that.

        And this thread makes my ribs hurt.

    • iblow4shoes says:

      Why isn’t he in jail or a victim of vigilantism from the the 13 years old’s father?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Hebephilia: adult sexual interest in pubescent individuals approximately 11-14 years old

      I know … in the bigger picture, it’s a distinction w/out a difference. Still, if you manage to reconcile LaLa taking her baby girl to Burning Man again this year, you still have to wonder how she’ll justify having her precious child anywhere near a known sexual predator, & I daresay, this is it.

      Anyone know if Shantitown is planning to take her kids to BM?

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

        Gah! And be a mom? How repulsive! She wants & needs a full week of strange people rubbing her clit.

    • wtf says:

      this sounds just so crazy, why anyone would say/believe this is just beyond crazy. He needs help

  3. Albie Quirky says:

    Water seeks its own level. Her lack of awareness on this topic is always appalling, never surprising.

  4. LakeWooBeGone says:

    maybe she has finally found a husband.

  5. LakeWooBeGone says:

    . . . .oh and yay for polyamory, free love, open relating, etc. Such civil rights pioneers. . . .

  6. Coobies sent by Grandma crab crawls by the bray says:

    Is she going to stand up for rape or remain in bed until noon this time? Whatever. She was inside.

    • JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

      HDU! That was traumatic! This guy didn’t do anything to anyone Julia knows personally so by her logic none of it happened.

  7. AWO says:

    Well, if she is REALLY against climate change, rape, AND animal cruelty, logic dictates that her next pick for an officiate will be some infamous, fire-juggling, dog fucker.

  8. Aggressively Stupid says:

    It’s official: Donkey fucks up everything. Even a stupid stunt wedding.

    • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

      Stupid stunt wedding is fucked up by stupid cunt with stupid face…details at 11…

  9. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    This creeps me out so much, on so many levels. Also, & I say this as someone who has mostly liked LaLa (I can’t quite get past the Seductive Come Hither daddy-daughter dance though), I think the Eben Pagan name change is super sketchy now. Ugh, all these slithery, snakey people. Brrr!

    O/T BODY SNARK: In the screamgrab above, if you zoom in on Julia Allison’s nose, you can see what looks like skin graft about to be blown wide open at the seam. Is it really any wonder that her chinplant has dislodged, the way she wrenches her face?

  10. aqua polyester lace says:

    Remember how the threatening correspondent called “Morning Muffin” likened RBNS to pedophiles in a gloating e-mail while the site was briefly shut down? We’re not the pedophiles, Donkey–they’re on your team, not ours.

  11. Emoji game grammarian says:

    Horrifying not surprising
    It’s a straight line from grift to criminal
    These people are all fucked in the head; child sexual abuse is completely expected

    • Silver Cape LaPhlegm says:

      So true. This is sick. Sick in the head. All of them are so slimy and trying to monetize emotions and “self love” and sexuality is the opposite of what someone who truly gave a shit about helping people would do. I’m so grossed out by the rabbi. No snark, no jokes – this is mind numbing and a kick to the bagina. If Julia goes through with this, she is far darker and more fucked up then we have ever imagined. This isn’t embarrassing in a “haha” way – she’s fucked.

  12. All the Bralettes says:

    Didn’t our Donkey at one time exclaim on Facebook or Twitter: “Why do men still rape women?!?!!”

    Maybe she could ask this guy that question directly at her “wedding.”

  13. pink pestilience says:

    It’s just an experiment, people! She wants to see how it feels to combine the greatest things in the world (marrying! yourself!) with the saddest thing in the world (serial molester confessed child raper!) will she still feel happiness??? Will it make her happier?? she will have to compare it to the other 20 weddings to be sure!!

  14. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    ‘A man says that he paid a princely sum for the purposes of facilitating “a good raping” and all the woman involved wants to do is clarify that she cost $1,700, not $1,600? Because, clearly, that’s the important point here.

    […] I think this comment makes [Julia] Allison the Benedict Arnold of our gender, a traitor to the cause. Because any woman who would not only permit, but encourage this horrendous behavior probably doesn’t have a drop of compassion, empathy or common sense running through her veins.’

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      BTW, how great would it be if Belle of CHS were [1] a basement dweller, & [2] also covering the tragedy that is Julia Allison’s official resignation to spinsterhood?

      • DonkeyElbows says:

        Dunno, has Belle recovered from the trauma of an artist being mean to her after Newtown?

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        She is or was in the past, at least.

        I opted to stop visiting her site some time back because I couldn’t get past her dream job = working for the NRA.

        • Defective LEARN Button says:

          same here. NRA lobbyist recommending everything in the jcrew catalog gets old.

  15. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    The brows in that final photo. WTF.

  16. failwhale says:

    Last night, I shared the last post with Mr. FailWhale because I couldn’t stop laughing at the list of Camp Mystic events and workshops. He sent me a link this morning to Ellsberg’s site and the video of his Temple of Erotic Innocence video.

    Another one down the rabbit hole!!!

  17. Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:
  18. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Julia, you never read here, which is why I am asking you to halt any and all communication with this sick and twisted individual. It will be awkward to do so, but you can do it – you really can! I’ve even created a dialogue for you to make the process easier. See below:

    YOU: Er, um, oops…Rabbi?

    PURE EVIL: Yes?

    YOU: You know that whole thing coming up where I marry myself in the desert miles away from a working shower?

    PURE EVIL: Yes! I’m officiating! And…helping you put on your dress…

    YOU: I, uh, kind of think I’m going to find someone else to officiate. I have been told you’re a pederast and child molester.

    PURE EVIL: As I help you put on your dress, I will have soft music playing. I will prepare drinks. You can examine the glasses for spots and select the one you deem cleanest. There will also be pretzels.

    YOU: Yeah, I’m going to have to sort of skip that whole plan. Good luck with changing your name and staying 20 feet in front of the pitchforks.

    PURE EVIL: You may wish to put a pretzel in your mouth and leave half of it hanging out for me to nibble at so our lips meet in a kiss. At that point I will ask you to admit that you are a whore before forcing you to commit indecent acts involving bar cheese.

    YOU: I’ve done some pretty fucked up things in my career. Like, I don’t know, pretty much all of them. Especially the bit with the jellyfish tank. But I am not marrying myself in the presence of a rapist. Rape me no likey. Wait a minute…did you say bar cheese? I love bar cheese! I…no, Julia, focus. Focus!!

    PURE EVIL: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese….

    YOU: Listen, get out of my motel room built out of couch cushions or you’re going to be wearing your nutsack as a skullcap.

    Good luck and report back!

    • Silver Cape LaPhlegm says:

      The thought of her admitting a mistake and admit she glommed on to the nearest fucking crazy train, self marriage, woo woo, trickery bullshit ORDAINED BY AN ADMITTED CHILD MOLESTER, makes me sick to my stomach – because it will never happen. This could be an out for her though, although she’d never realize it – “oh hey friends that have cut me off, notice I changed my profile pic to me in glasses and boat shoes? Yes, that’s the real me. You remember the real me? The liar and thief and horrible person but wearing pearls? I was influenced by the wrong crowd and realized it when my hate site pointed out that I was marrying myself in an orgasmic dance wedding, yes a wedding to MYSELF, that was officiated by noted rabbi rapist and led by a nude women dressed as a cockatiel. They took advantage of me! I’m throwing myself a party at the ole country club in Wilmette, it’s for the charitable organization IHAVENOFRIENDS, to celebrate my new, authentic self.”.

    • The Missing Davos Report says:

      “What’s a ‘pederast,’ Walter?”

  19. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Julia won’t listen to us because all she does now is listen to her grifter woo-woo friends who have told her that she is perfectly fine the way her narcissistic ass is, and that there is no judgment in Black Rock City.

    This guy is well known to, and accepted by, her grifter friends. They are not going to listen because they believe his lies that he never did these things and they live in their own insular little world.

    With all the phony-ass “sisterhood” bullshit they spew, you’d think they’d be sensitive to something like this. It speaks VOLUMES that they are not.

  20. Donkin Donuts says:

    I hate all these fucks. I originally found these grifter types funny in a “well if you can’t tell it’s bullshit, you deserve to lose your money” type way but now I just really hate them. Preying on the young, the weak, the dumb, the sick to make money or get their kicks. They are not helping anyone.

    It reminds me of shady alternative medicine types (not saying its all bad) who appeal to people with illnesses traditional medicine can’t help yet, chronic pain, etc. I’ve had friends and family members throw thousands away on all sorts of stuff that sounds ridiculous up front but when you are in a dark place just looking for anything to work, seems reasonable.

    I point and laugh and cringe and groan at the Donkey show but this might be the first time I’ve really been truly disgusted by her – I came around after “I was inside” and all that. I doubt she will say anything to this guy as she won’t want to rock the grifter canoe they are all piled into, and I doubt she cares that much – 2006??? That was 6 noses ago!!! Fuck her and fuck this guy and fuck all these people.

    • Silver Cape LaPhlegm says:

      Yes to all of this. This new development has really changed the tone of how I viewed this whole Donk Shenanigans Show from what a ridiculous fucktard our Julsies is to holy shit, this is deranged, dark, sick and twisted.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Yes! “Preying on the young, the weak, the dumb, the sick to make money or get their kicks”</b is what I was thinking but didn't (couldn't) articulate in another comment (where I said that now the name change to Eben Pagan is so very sketchy, contrary to my previous 'Oh. He's one of those Kevin Trudeau huckster types.' initial impression) — I have an entirely new level of distrust of any & everyone who legally changes their name (w/ two exceptions that I can think of), & by extension, anyone associating w/ ’em is equally suspect.

    • JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

      It’s ok to say that all alternative medicine is shady, it is. When something has been medically proven to work we call “medicine”.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        DISAGREE — what you’re calling “medicine” (all those FDA-approved prescription drugs & surgical procedures that come w/ warnings but no guarantees) even the medical community calls “practice”.

        Alternative medicine is just one facet of the buffet of choice — people would do well to get informed about options, instead of blindly sucking Big Pharma’s dick & paying for the privilege.

        /rant Carry on.

  21. DJ Donkey and the Avocado says:

    What’s wrong with a donkey?

  22. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Oh my Greg, I effen love this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk&feature=youtu.be

    Isn’t that what “it” (happiness) is really all about, & thus what a scheming, cavorting, contorting, fame-whoring, narcissistic, psychopathic d0nkey will never truly realize?

  23. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    From last year’s Camp Mystic schedule:

    Thursday, 5 p.m. to 6:30 Lecture Series
    THE SEVEN TASTES OF SEXING: WITH KABALA (sic) SCHOLAR MARC GAFNI
    This experiential workshop cuts through the confusion about sex and sexing. Couples and singles welcome.
    MARC GAFNI ANNIE LALLA

    • mcakez: Juicy. says:

      Rabbi Gafni Sacred Sexy Sexing Lesson 1: If there is grass on the field, play ball.

      Rabbi Gafni Sacred Sexy Sexing Lesson 2: There is no such thing as a ‘hard no.’ Just a ‘soft no’ waiting to be discovered and alchemized into an ‘ok.’

      Rabbi Gafni Sacred Sexy Sexing Lesson 3: $1,700 IS a perfectly reasonable price for a good raping. He accepts cash, check and all major credit cards.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      This confirms my loathing of LaLa. Bitch needs to rot in Hell.

  24. DSM 5: JFA Edition says:

    I’m less interested in donk’s marriage to herself than I am in the inevitable divorce…

  25. DonkeyElbows says:

    Maybe this is all just cynical and she thinks “Julia Allison marries self in ceremony officiated by a sex offender” is too much for Gawker to ignore.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Then color me cynical as well, cuz that sure crossed my mind — I think Gawker coverage remains on the short list of Julia Allison’s *ahem* “career goals”.

  26. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Has anyone here known anyone who has changed their name or gone by an alias (with the exception of stage/pen names, obviously) who WASN’T at best a deeply deluded person with issues out the ass and at worst someone who should be rotting in jail?

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      John Stewart?
      Bob Dylan?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Yep. [1] a very good male friend legally changed his last name after turning 18 & finally reuniting / establishing a lasting relationship w/ his biological dad, & [2] female victims of DV.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Yes, I should have allowed for people in protection programs, etc. And taking or dropping a parents’ name is usually a legitimate thing, although the person I know who wound up going by his mother’s name was a fucking evil piece of shit.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          It didn’t immediately come to mind, but I recall finding out that my paternal grandmother’s family added one alpha-character to their surname so as to escape the connotations of being associated w/ a notorious outlaw — what I do *not* know is if there was an actual shared bloodline or not.

          Had two schoolmates whose last name was “Rape” & I know for a fact that the girl legally changed her name ASAP after HS, but no idea about the brother.

          Any other Mark Gafni out there should get a name change for free.

    • Helena (Literally Fun In A Donkey HAHAHA Way) says:

      My grandfather changed his last name in 1945 because it was German. (He was Jewish, lost his mother and sister in the holocaust, actually physically fought against the Nazis in the Slovak uprising etc.) I understand it wasn’t unusual at that time and in this part of the world, either. But that is obviously also something different than what you had in mind.

    • Smooshed Macaroons says:

      The US Military regularly offered to change people’s last names to sound more American during WWII – that is how I ended up in an Americanized version of my family’s real, Croatian last name.

      [By offered, I mean did it without actually legally changing it – they just did their military paperwork with the new name, and then naturalized them as citizens – wham, bam, thank you new name and no EU citizenship for me…]

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I have a relative whose middle name was changed due to error on the part of a census taker back in the day.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I had a great-great-aunt whose legal name was Harrinina, because that’s how the priest filled out her baptismal certificate (it was supposed to be Harriet Mina).

          • Albie Quirky says:

            She was also married to two undertakers (in succession) and buried both of them (not literally, but her employees did it). And she had a dog she taught to poop in the toilet.

            Sadly, she died before I was born.

          • mcakez: Juicy. says:

            My mom went to school with a guy named Fallus (pronounced phallus). His mom had no idea. He found out late in high school and was apparently mortified.

        • Tingolayo says:

          Oprah was born Orpah, IIRC.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I think the story goes that Orpha was supposed to be her name … don’t hold me to that though! So *not* a fan.

        • Smooshed Macaroons says:

          There were a number of people who immigrated to the US via Ellis Island who had their names changed because of a mistake by the immigration office and/or the immigrant couldn’t spell the name (or was completely illiterate). Lyons became Lyon due to error, etc.

          The whole way names have changed through history is fascinating to me. I’m in the process of getting all of my grandfather’s naturalization and military records so I can see if there is any real documentation of his name change.

    • Jane says:

      “rhetorical”

  27. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    A rundown of this rape dude’s involvement this year. Looks like he’s tight with Bryan Franklin, who is the head of the camp.

    Speaker Series at Camp Mystic
    The Emergent New Story of Humanity’s Evolution:
    Panel discussions & keynote talks with Integral Wisdom Community at Burning Man
    “The Future of Love & Sex” with Marc Gafni, Jennifer Russell, Bryan Franklin
    “Awakening as an Outrageous Evolutionary Lover: A Personal Politics of Eros and Love” with Annie Lalla, Marc Gafni
    “An Unconventional Wedding” with Julia Allison, Annie Lalla, Marc Gafni
    For full lineup, dates and times, visit http://campmystic.org/events
    Aug 26-31, 2014
    Camp Mystic (3:30 & E)
    Black Rock City, NV

    • Silver Cape LaPhlegm says:

      Um…will Marc Gafni be ruminating on his personal politics of love that are based on child abuse, harassment, violence and intimidation? How evolved! WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. I feel the angry spirit of JFA entering my soul and typing fingers. Bewbs Lalla is a mom – not that all persons that live and breathe should not be completely appalled by this person – how can they possibly justify giving A CHILD MOLESTER, ADMITTED CHILD MOLESTER A PLATFORM TO TALK ABOUT LOVE! Have I died? Is this the Twilight Zone? I need a day drink. This is….truly the fucking worst.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      From Mesh Shirt’s 2012 busted flush-o-thon “Blow Your Mind Conference (Rated R)”: “Bryan Franklin, my main evil-genius mentor in life and business.”

      He got the “evil” part right, to judge from current company kept.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        “Everyone is responsible for their own arousal.” Marc Gafni at the Mystery School of Love 2014 at Venwoude International
        http://buff.ly/1qM1EWe

        ::sigh:: I don’t even want to know …

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      Someone please ask this stupid bitch ANNIE LALLA on Facebook how proud of a Momma she must be to be associating herself with a child molester? She makes me SICK.

  28. Fat sack Julia says:

    I’m sure ole’ Pete Baugher is super pleased.

  29. DJ Donkey and the Avocado says:

    I love what she became – a complete loser.

  30. Albie Quirky says:

    Gosh it would sure be a shame if any professional book reviewers were aware of the morally abhorrent aspects of her book’s culminating stunt. Yep, that would certainly be a shame.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Another thing that would be just awful would be if “Sad Loser Married to Self by Rapist Rabbi” got covered in the New York Post.

      • Manifest Dustiny (OMGPearskank) says:

        Another horrible thing to happen would be mention of this in big Chicago based publications, I assume.

        Apparently AS and the women-hating CF were only the first in a growing list of increasingly dark characters. This development hurts my soul.

      • Handbag Stuffed With Softness says:

        Albie, you’ve just said the only two things that will make a difference to her. Watch and see.

      • Malformed Face says:

        She’s creaming in her pants to get publicity like that. That’s how fucked she is. Don’t do her any favors.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          St. Martin’s doesn’t want publicity like that, though.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            So if she goes through with this nonsense, that’s a big potential PR liability for them. With no upside.

            I get that she prefers notoriety to obscurity, but publishers not so much.

          • Braying Lady Crony says:

            WORD. I know nothing of publishing, but I do know about PR. My guess is St. Martin’s would drop her like a hot potato.

          • Pink Palatian says:

            Nah, at best it’s a WTF moment for her in-house publicist. Her associating with criminals isn’t something that would get her dropped; it just makes SMP’s job harder.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off says:

        Oh, please, Donkey’s reaction to a disgusting rape comment was to dispute the price someone bought her for because it was too low.

    • Thexy Thilver Trout Pout's 5150 Letting it Unfold says:

      Or products an ambASSwhore promotes

    • Bipartisan grammarian says:

      st. martin’s press in deal with devil; author allies with convicted child rapist

      • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

        St. Martin’s author in illegal ritual with drug-fueled cult, officiated by scorned rabbi child molester forced to flee Israel.

  31. Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

    In Shanti-town news- She’s falling out of her one size Coobie, she is no longer accommodating or compromising in her relationships and she’s making her son feel like a dick for playing Farmville. Sounds legit.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Huh, I didn’t think Queen Shantitown was all that generously endowed.

    • Silver Cape LaPhlegm says:

      Wow, I never thought that ratchety, crumbling mess Ali Shanti would be a palate cleanser. One of the things that tie all of these grifter fools together is a complete and utter lack of a sense of humor. Play Farmville with your kid you idiot! Maybe consider doing something for someone else instead of yourself – or not, since you are such a self obsessed, grifter carny who needs to spend hours a day videotaping herself talking with hard p pronunciations.

      • AWO says:

        4SERIOUS! Does she ever stop and think that maybe her kid is tried of playing Shantiville. What an exhausting and fucking pointless game that is – constantly gathering feathers, sobbing into webcams, and the like. Farmville seems like a pleasant escape from the insanity.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Softness says:

          I love you.

        • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

          I’d give that kid $1,000 if, after his mom went on her “this Farmville game is just a stupid waste of time that will never enrich you spiritually or contribute to society” rant looked at her and said, “I learned it from you mom. I learned it from you!”

          • Donkey's Calcified Pineal Gland says:

            Or, ” Well, Mom, if you lose *this* game farm due to your incompetence, you won’t have to file for bankruptcy.”

    • LakeWooBeGone says:

      she thanked julia on fb for sending her one of her coobies. Seriously. They are exchanging each other’s coobies and I did not make this up.

      Also, she has a new page (ANOTHER new page): “The Way We Are Now”. there is a video of her today with some guy (the guy appears about seven minutes in) — he is so high or drunk on something that he is mumbling and slurring and getting up and staggering around. Shanti explains to him that she is now “Ali Alexis Queen Shanti”; and because she is sitting across from this drug-filled loon she sounds entirely rational.

      Also, her business partners in the Eyes Woo Open business almost fired her, but she doesn’t say why.

      We need a betting pool on who is going to finish going up in flames first; Donkey or the Queen. Maybe they should both get thrown onto the pyre at Burning Man . . . . .. .

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        She’s going to introduce new business partner, Mr. Masculinity, in coming days! Please let this caped crusader be Devin Stetler …

        • Silver Cape LaPhlegm says:

          Caped with metallic hot pant girded loins! (insert him dry humping maniacally with gimp mask gif)

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Ooh, I think she poached Regular Lizard Guy from Pam Madsturbation.

          • Tingolayo says:

            Who was the other lizard guy? Ginger lizard guy? Charlie Brown lizard guy?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Albino Lizard Guy.

          • Psycho-delic Jiant Dewsh fka Lurker says:

            Whoever made up the regular lizard man etc. names, Jesus Christ I love you and I am so glad I’m laughing now because that other issue is SO MADDENING.

      • Tingolayo says:

        Used coobies? Are there no car washes in Colorado?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Did she lose her farm? Move out in the middle of the night to the “River House” aka dump w/ a leaky roof & an exterior door that suffers from an obvious foundation problem? Damn, i wanna see her new curtains! She’s a millionaire two time over, right?

        • The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

          Wouldn’t be surprised to learn the windows were sealed with inferior caulk, too..

        • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

          She lost the farm a long time ago, and the actual property owner sued her to gtfo for not paying rent. The suit shows up on her BK — he claimed 25K in damages. She’s been living in that bonkers bath towel curtains home with ex and kids.

      • Thexy Thilver Trout Pout's 5150 Letting it Unfold says:

        Was it a typo cooties?

  32. LakeWooBeGone says:

    It might be this guy — he appears around seven minutes in. At the very end he gets noticeably paranoid and stands up and staggers around.

    He goes by “E”. These people with the names.

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=811454595554401&set=vb.810756992290828&type=2&theater

    • Psycho-delic Jiant Dewsh fka Lurker says:

      Wait, what the fuck? Ali has ANOTHER RelationshipTMI-like page??? Just all about herself??? Never change, Ali. I am looking forward to checking this out tonight.

      • LakeWooBeGone says:

        Marrying yourself is a thing right now, apparently.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off says:

        I can’t wait for her to dry up and realize that nobody give a shit about her.

  33. Dusty in the Wind says:

    He kinda looks like Dadsers, if you squint.
    I soooo want him to marry Julie—his 5th Wife!! FIFTH
    So enlightened! So Changed!!

    • Handbag Stuffed With Softness says:

      I said the exact same thing!

    • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

      This crowd clearly has the answer to true love and stable (ahem) marriages. And it can be yours for 3 easy payment of $$$$$!

  34. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    His disappearing top lip reminds me of THIS: http://imgur.com/DiIcb3g

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      (meant as a reply to Dusty)

    • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

      We have a rescue dog who has very few teeth because he ground them all down trying to escape the crate he was in at the shelter and he makes this face ALL THE TIME. He made it at me when I came home tonight and all I could think of was this. Thanks?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Sounds adorbs! My sis has that breed of pup pictured above, & her expressions are priceless (& she never blinks, so strange). My dog has developed a sneer that’s very off-putting but still funny.

  35. ShesJustStupid says:

    Julia Allison
    about an hour ago

    My very talented beau, David Block, is releasing his latest EP, “When Worlds Collide” with his friend & collaborator Knowa Lusion this August 5th. I’ve had the privilege of listening to his process as he puts the finishing touches on the album this past week in Calabasas, and it has been quite a beautiful experience in witnessing full on creative expression. I’m so proud of him.

    If you’ve never heard his music, please check it out: The Human Experience – David Block. Or you can go to http://thehumanexperience.bandcamp.com/ to get any of his albums for free.

    • DonkaBoobieCootie says:

      Looks as if Donks is pissing all over Facebook in an attempt to mark her territory. Not but a few hours prior to her posting that, Avocado posted this in defense of his cute and skinny Hailey:

      David Block
      4 hours ago · Edited
      I am having a moment of experiencing HATERS at their finest. My good friend/collaborator Haley Reinhart just released a new music video. I really love it. A lot of other people really love it, AND, a lot of people are just straight HATERS! Granted, since she was on American Idol and has a lot of “Fans” who want to see what they saw on television (and this video is certainly not that), they can’t seem to wrap their heads around a person as talented as she is having multiple forms of expression. My call to the world, EXPRESS YOURSELF HOWEVER YOU WANT. Also, recognize that people like Haley have multiple “voices”. Also, it’s bringing up for me that not everyone has to love what you do. People WILL hate on you, even if you’re just having fun. Lighten up world. We will be much better off when people START expressing themselves and stop judging each other for HOW they express themselves. Also, check out her video, it’s DOPE. Daniel Gutierrez

      Too bad Avocado has never taken the time to defend the Donkey.

      • iblow4shoes says:

        How do you defend the indefendable?

      • AWO says:

        WAIT! Haley, just now, has haters?! That seems pretty convenient. Do they have names like محمد بن سعيد بن عبد العزيز الفلسطيني and congregate on a hate site called haleyisavervelessbitch.com? If so, David, you might want to clean out the stall sooner rather than later, if you catch my drift.

      • Norse Horse says:

        Wow, he sounds like a hothead.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      BEAU!
      IN CALABASAS WHERE HIS LOLYER FATHER LIVES AND HE LET ME BE THERE WITH HIM!
      SO THERE OTHER GIRLS BACK OFF!

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Quite possibly she “listened” over skype …
        LEGALESE, BUNNIES!

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      “My very talented beau, David Block”

      Well, there we have it. She has finally called him her boyfriend. Unless she has no idea what ‘beau’ means, she has basically confirmed it. Personally, I was never quite sure what the fuck their status was, with her telling people on FB that she’s SINGLE.

      Pick a lane, desperate Donkey.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Remember, she didn’t love Prop Thing until he bailed …

        • Internationally Syndicated in the Telegraph of Calcutta says:

          Oh sigh remember prop thing. Those were the days. Hope he went on (I mean, escaped) to live a happy and fun life, and hope he found a girl who loves him not for his wallet, and not for taking her on stupid expensive theme dates, but for himself.

        • Braying Lady Crony says:

          True ‘dat!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Knowa Lusion? Rain Phutureprimitive? Avocado gets points from me for going by his wallet name, at least.

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

        HAHAHA Knowa Lusion!!! Like No Illusion. What a loon.

        And Donkey is positively seething about Hayley and I love it.

    • Bipartisan grammarian says:

      lie / legalese: “listening to his process” = begging for information over email, sms, skype, facebook

      “i’m so proud of ___”

      “creative”

      3 for 3

  36. Handbag Stuffed With Softness says:

    Okay, I’m lost. Ali’s table dude is one of Pamela Madsen’s OM flickers? How’d he get all the way to Boulder, which is so far from his nest?

  37. Certain Trees Remind Me of Eben says:

    Wow. This is fucking ridiculous, and not in a trainwreck kinda way. This has gone from laughing at Donk’s insanity to really worrying for her. It’s like when you watch any Real Housewives franchise and laugh at how shallow and vapid and stupid and materialistic these women are, but then all of a sudden, one of them shows very clear signs of mental illness or instability and it goes from being funny to being disturbing. I really hope that someone, anyone, can get through to Donk on this one thing. But who knows.

  38. Reeks of desperate tutus says:

    The face saving out would be an announcement that it turns out he has a conflict and can’t officiate after all. Awkward wedding announcement amendment!

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