How’s Donkey’s Fake 30-Day Cooter Challenge Going?

Screen shot 2014-06-03 at 6.29.24 PMSo that lasted a whole two days. After immediately being exposed of lying about being a spokesdonkey for a bra company, Donks has seemingly given up on posting on social media to be accountable for her month long child’s pose marathon. It’s now Tuesday, and we haven’t heard anything since posted about how she wanted to overdose on dates while wearing a tie-dye bra. Sure, she went to Camp Grounded, but shouldn’t she be back already to meet her fake sponsorship duties?

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328 Responses to How’s Donkey’s Fake 30-Day Cooter Challenge Going?

  1. The Book of Donkey says:

    THIS!

    She went public on her Facebook saying she was HIRED as a spokesperson. And had the gall to tell her followers “How Being a Spokesperson SHOULD Work”. Then she gave up after Day 2. She is the worst. She can’t even be bothered to work at an imaginary job.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      That is brilliant and true. She can’t even do a fake job properly.

      • Tingolayo says:

        Give her a break– she just got back from “camp” and she’s exhausted from making Greg’s eyes from popsicle sticks and heating her curling iron over the campfire. She needs to recharge at the ashram ASAP.

      • Helena (Literally Fun In A Donkey HAHAHA Way) says:

        One of the moments that have defined Donkey for me was the unforgettable incident where she wasn’t embarrassed at all to reveal that the idea of writing 1,000 words for her “dream” “job” at ELLE horrified and overwhelmed her (because, yeah, the cameras in her face were “highly intrusive,” bwa ha ha). That was one of the moments that feel a bit like hallucinations to me. It’s not just a “YOU HAD ONE JOB” situation, because she didn’t even have a job! She got a fakey fake “job” that was very obviously connected to “her” reality show (in other words, no1curr about your “writing,” Donks, trust) and that consisted of puking out ONE THOUSAND WORDS on her one and only subject of interest, herself as an adorable heroine, and she just could NOT deliver that. So, this job 1) wasn’t a real job because the only reason she got it (for a few months) was the reality embarrassment, 2) wasn’t a real job because it didn’t involve anything a normal grown up person, let alone a journalitht who has published more than over 55,867+ 4 dollars a word articles, would consider work, and 3) she still failed at it hard and fast and in an unbelievably unprofessional manner. The mere memory makes me queasy.

        Many kind people, and I suspected I was one of them once, have thought and said that “if only” she developed an ounce of work ethic / integrity / hit the learn button / got cut off by Dadsers etc., she could get some bullshit / modest marcom job or a receptionist job or become a waitress or write dumb articles for some dumb paper or something. I think NOT, though. No way. She is literally, genuinely unemployable, more so than any other person I have ever heard about. Completely, ineffably useless.

        Tl; dr: no matter how fake a job is, Donkey will fail at it. You can count on that.

        • The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

          Donk will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory! :)

          • Helena (Literally Fun In A Donkey HAHAHA Way) says:

            I want this on a too-tight pink polyester t-shirt with ill-fitting cap sleeves.

        • ks says:

          Not to be a parade-rainer, but isn’t it likely that her drama over said article was manufactured for drama reasons because reality TV is all about drama? I mean, if you think Jules was 100% authentic during her TV stint, I have a bridge to sell you.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Eh, she was always late with all her actual columns, so I believe there was at least a seed of truth there.

          • Joan Bray-ez says:

            Good point, but is that the image you would choose to portray of yourself, that you’re lazy, whiny and unprofessional? Especially if you’re accused of being those things, wouldn’t you at least try to fake the opposite? She pretty much put the nail in her career coffin with that show. Of course she rejects all of it now…so changed!

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

      Fake work is hard, people :(

    • Craig Filek will teach you to get laid in Rochester says:

      Does she even mention the book anymore? She had to be prompted to talk about it at SXSW months ago, right? It’s as if she knows its not going to happen.

    • Inconsequential Titties says:

      That’s not even the craziest part of it. Her sending them an invoice is the craziest part of it. It’s maybe one of the craziest things she’s ever done. I still can’t believe she really did that.

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

        She is crazy, for sure, but just to be clear: the company said that “someone” or “some lady” I forget which called them asking where to send the invoice for the shoot and the company was confused. So it sounds like there are at least 2 possibilities: Donks contacted them re where to send the invoice or she told the photog that the co. would pay and the photog or their assistant called asking where to send the bill. Both possibilities are for sure nutso, but I just don’t want her coming in here calling us out for misstating things.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I can well imagine D0nk making that call in the presence of the fauxtog & then posting her “Hired!” bullshit to sort of substantiate the lie, as illogical as it all is.

          Going to this extreme to scam a fauxtoshoot?
          She really is batshit insane.

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

        This is how the original comments played out. Only the first comment, in which I sloppily fired off “this woman,” was re-posted in the actual post that followed. So the inference was drawn that it was Donksn who called. I’m pretty sure the exact words they used were “some woman.” Sorry for any confusion.

        Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:
        June 4, 2014 at 10:58 am
        They were not impressed. They were super confused about the “spokesperson” title. That is why I got put on hold. The lady was like, spokesperson? Uh, no . . . this woman called us recently about sending an invoice for the fauxtoshoot and we didn’t know what she was talking about.
        Grifty Shades of Cried-off Rhinestones says:
        June 4, 2014 at 11:02 am
        WHAT? She tried to bill them for the fauxtoshoot?????? She is INSANE.
        Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:
        June 4, 2014 at 11:11 am
        Grifty: the lady I spoke with was completely confused about her and volunteered to me that someone had called asking where to send the invoice for her shoot when I mentioned it.

  2. The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

    I do wonder how long Donk had an imprint of the manhole cover pattern on her forehead though..

  3. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    So many stupid things about that Cooter challenge. Presumably the company would want to be in contact with Donks the first 3 days after “hiring” her, either to discuss business or to ask why she claimed they’d “hired” her. But she went completely dark. Not only could she not promote Cooter, she couldn’t respond to calls or voicemails or emails. Great first impression for a new spokesperson!

  4. Hemmingway, Wolf and Bleeker says:

    She is too busy decorating the happiness RV and planning the 50 weddings in 50 states.

    Whatever little free time she has left, she uses it for the 365 days of happiness project.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      Oh come now. She also uses her spare time for supporting her local Republican candidates, taking pictures of her lattes, writing her Davos report and getting therapy.

  5. Wangs for Kevin Rose says:

    I can’t believe she can’t even stick to her scam for more than two days.

    Have some resolve, donks.

    It is to laugh.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off says:

      Ali Shitty could teach her a thing or two.

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

        That bitch always be grifting. It’s astounding. She’s grifted her way to another retreat in Canada already. For paid sex.

        • Grifty Shades of Cried-off Rhinestones says:

          Sounded to me in the taped session she posted a week or so ago that the lady wasn’t giving her a free ride.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Maybe she’s paying in Nordstrom accessories only worn once?

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

            Check Shanti’s fb. They are now co-creating.

          • Jack Is Bankrupt & Lovin' It! says:

            From Scammy Shanti’s endless post on why SHE (and you!) must attend amazeballs! Pamela Mardsen’s sex retreat, complete with the two grifters flicking each other’s clit in the comments.

            “It’s edgy. It’s not cheap. And, I know it’s exactly what She has been asking me to do for years. Come back to mySelf to heal the teenager who is blocking the Timeless one.”

            Of course it’s not cheap–that goes without saying–but if Scammy locates the Timeless one, what next? Reborn as Intergalactic Business Goddess, first in her class at Clit Academy? “For only $2550 you too … “

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I actually liked Pamela Madsen’s book okay, but her post-book career is just an endless fount of side-eye for me.

            Also, this is an unbelievable vagina-clencher. Team Dumpy Lady, Albino Lizard Man, Regular Lizard Man, and Hippie Charlie Brown are not going to get me in either a sensuous or sensual mood.

          • Tingolayo says:

            “Regular Lizard Man” made me choke on a cold jalapeno popper.

    • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

      My theory re why the Coobie challenge lasted exactly 2 days: she only had the 2 free Coobie bras like all of the other bloggers. She created this fake challenge thing and tried to pitch her awesome twitter following on her twitter account she hadn’t touched in months in exchange for 28 additional Coobies, and Coobie was like, tweet away, thx! But no more free Coobies. She can’t post 28 more days’ worth of shit wearing the same old 2 cheap bras, so, Coobie challenge ovah.

      • Princess WideStance says:

        But she swore she bought one in every color! :)

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

        The following day, after she has already been blown up here about not actually working there, the Unplugged Retreat guy commented on her post about a linked NYT article and invited her to reach out. She contacted him, spouted her outdated, exaggerated credentials and grifted a free trip. By late that night, she posted she would be going off the grid over the weekend. Which is literally 100% the opposite of being a spokesperson. Sloppy stuff.

        Wonder if the photog’s bill ever got paid.

  6. All the Bralettes says:

    I feel like back in the day, she was at least able to maintain a blog and be consistent about going on tv and talking about stupid nonsense. now she can’t even complete a task of any kind, except jumping on airplanes and going to dirty festivals.

  7. Handbag Stuffed With Softness says:

    Nothing would have been easier than the 365 Days of Happiness. I have no interest in happiness in a concept, and I could find dozens of things in a day to take pleasure in. According to Instagram, her last post was 16 weeks ago. I don’t understand how she survives day to day.

  8. "Fuck it, let’s just go to Nordstroms" Spirit Animal says:

    Her laziness is truly beyond compare. I’m not sure why I would even be surprised given that she couldn’t even bother to do a half ass shill for companies that actually hired her, as opposed to a small bra company that pretty much sent product to any blogger that asked.

    I wonder when her paradigm will shift into a new persona. On one hand, this one would almost endlessly support her permanent navel gazing as well as her lack of work ethic and personal hygiene. On the other hand, I think this Julia is the most likely to get cut off from Pettifogger’s financial teat, and grifting money/services still requires some semblance of effort (see: Ali Shanti).

    Oh, and at what point does the publishing company tell her that they want their deposit back?

    • Thexy Thilver Trout Pout Luvs Guac Cock says:

      Or worse. Keep the change dear heart.

    • Bunsy says:

      I think when you start missing your deadlines and it is pretty obvious that there is NOT GOING TO BE A BOOK. I imagine that at some point, her agent will be pulled into the conversation.

  9. Craig Filek will teach you to get laid in Rochester says:

    Who gets fired from a fake job? I bet some women’s shelter is about to receive some old magazines and barely worn Coozers any day now.

  10. sexological phone call says:

    hhhmmm just when alibaba is getting filekin’ sexological

  11. Donkey is running scared. says:

    I worked so hard today it’s crazy

  12. stranded says:

    Completely OT but something happened to me today that made me squee with cat lady joy. I’m a frequent lurker who doesn’t always completely dial in to the peripheral characters co-starring in The Donks of our Lives, so imagine my surprise today when I was leaving my laser hair removal appt (hairy cat ladies are hairy y’all) in midtown, trying to leave a tip for my wonderful laser technician, but the office window area was completely taken over. By a woman in a strange long skirt with a knot at the bottom, a cropped furry vest, with her gold sequined visor and computer open to a document, taking up the entire reception counter. Because I had no choice, I looked at the screen as she scrolled through, seemingly awaiting the office staff to cater to her billing and appointment requests that they repeatedly explained to her were not in line with her recent request to cancel her membership. I noticed that the title of the manuscript was “pleasurable weight loss” by Jena la Flamme. I did a double take.
    Fyi, the dedications are still TK. And she was needlessly rude to the office staff.

    • BunnyBingo says:

      Fascinating to see them in the wild. She does have nice hair but it all seems to be the same grift. This was interesting:
      “She started coaching other women on how to do this, initially charging $100 an hour for her coaching sessions.
      Reading The 4-Hour Workweek inspired Jena to build up an outsourced backend office in India, which allowed her to handle a higher volume of business and ramp up her coaching to the masses, offering one-to-many Internet-based classes. She began studying marketing and sales (learning much of it from college dropout Eben Pagan), and her business exploded.”

    • I Cried My Rhinestone Off says:

      Smellsberg has a lot of cheek expecting that kind of grooming in exchange for what he brings to the sweaty, mesh-covered table.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I think he brings money & total submission?
        Dunno, but I sense a ring in his nose …

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think it’s more likely to impress the other goddesses at her dancy dance goddess blah-blah.

        Ellsberg has been oddly silent on FB for weeks and weeks, which isn’t his usual MO.

        • I Cried My Rhinestone Off says:

          I’m sure it is, but I never miss an opportunity to say Smellsberg.

        • Fameless Shamewhore says:

          From the Mesh Facebook, just now:

          Michael Ellsberg
          14 hours ago · Edited

          I won’t go into personal detail here–I’ll share that later–but I’m in the process of needing to become unattached to something very central to my life and identity. I suppose, if I were a perfect being, I would have some control over this exiting my life. Alas, I am far from perfect, and I do not at all feel in control. It feels like, through unexpected life circumstances, cords that were once central to my life and identity are being cut at an astonishingly fast past, in ways I cannot fully control.

          And yet, I still want to love. Even as I need to become unattached.

          Normally, we think of non-attachment as antithetical to love; love is the essence of attachment and vice-versa, we think.

          So what if, through life circumstances, we must become unattached to something, yet we still long to love?

          This is a question that has been central to my life for almost a year now. As a survival mechanism–that is, as a way for my love to survive– out of necessity I have developed something that is helping allow my love to shine through it all. I call it “untangled love”–a way I am learning to love, without all the entanglements and attachments that usually seem central to our experience of love.

          Perhaps this will resonate with you. Here is an audio and a transcript I just put up, describing and explaining this concept of “untangled love.”
          http://www.ellsberg.com/untangledlove

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off says:

            What did he and Joan Osbourne uncouple?

          • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

            Sounds like it. Guess that six-figure book deal shifted her paradigm. Popcorn, please.

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off says:

            Then just fucking say that!

          • Grifty Shades of Cried-off Rhinestones says:

            Oh no! He has to give away his mesh shirt!

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Shit, I was wondering if they were splitting up, but I thought I was being too nutty to speculate that.

          • Cooter Challenge says:

            “joan osborne” made me guffaw. Who gets the airbnb house?

            and How Cray will be JAxo’s return to thocial media?

          • Cooter Challenge says:

            Separated at birth?

            http://i.imgur.com/CQ5q8wP.jpg

          • JFA says:

            Joan Osbourne! /dead

          • JFA says:

            Well she’ll get a nice divorce settlement which is clearly all she probably wanted anyway. Lord knows she wasn’t going to spawn with that thing.

            Also how old is he, 40ish? Jesus Christ grow a pair. My god.

          • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

            Ohhh…soft spot for the real Joan Osborne. Please don’t insult her talent with comparison to a colossal faker.

          • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

            Is Jena LaFlegm’s pregnant or is she trade-marking a pose (hand over tits and abdomen)? She looks really poochy in one photo.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            He can’t “just say it,” JP. Like Ali Shanti’s bankruptcy, the split must be cast in universally resonant woo terms and made into a platform for future grifting. Watch for the book: “Untangled Love: the Shifting Paradigm of Being Dumped.”

          • Life is unfair says:

            A Donkey liked this FB post.

          • Grifty Shades of Pepperoni Nips says:

            Reading between the lines, it sounds like LaPhlegm is one of those All Woo All the Time types, all unicorns and goddesses and rainbows, and given that Smellsberg has been talking about his shadow side, maybe she got tired of dealing with his darker moods.

            Interesting to look through their photos to see how relatively groomed (for him) he looked like five years ago vs. the unkempt mess he looks like now. It’s also interesting to see how easily LaPhlegm can look dowdy without careful makeup and hair. And that fivehead…yikes.

          • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

            Christ, what assholes:

            Jena la Flamme
            2 hours ago · Edited
            There’s a new character in my life who doesn’t speak English, nor do I speak her mother tongue, Spanish. I speak to her in English and she doesn’t understand a word and vice versa. It feels like a power struggle. Who will make the effort to learn the other’s language? I think I am losing the battle as I am considering buying a Spanish dictionary. Or maybe that means I am winning… Ablas espagnol?
            LikeLike · · Share
            5 people like this.

            Belindissima James Turn romantic Spanish music on, and see what happens… there are no barriers for communication other than thinking there are…. music opens the doors… also, if you speak English and some French, the Spanish is within you
            2 hours ago · Like · 1

            Maru Iabichela Heart communication
            Telepathy!

          • Helena (Literally Fun In A Donkey HAHAHA Way) says:

            I’m still not even sure who those people are, but All Woo All The Time made me giggle a lot.

          • JFA says:

            What the holy hell? HOW FUCK DO YOU SPEAK TO SOMEONE IN A LANGUAGE THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

            This chick is a class A fucking dingbat. Make her go away. Honestly that is, LITERALLY, one of the dumbest things I have ever read, ever. Yes a spanish dictionary is going to help. Get a fucking clue. You are too stupid to learn a new language.

            These people are fucking bonkers.

          • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

            Woo to English transbrayation:
            I have a new maid that doesn’t speak English. Help!

          • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker says:

            Smellsberg is divorcing?

            Who is gonna get custody of the Donkey?

          • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

            Did we know Jenna LaPhelgm was a former Fatty McFatFat? https://www.facebook.com/PleasurableWeightLoss

          • Albie Quirky says:

            That’s her whole fucking shtick. But seriously, what did she lose, 30 pounds? That’s not really a life-changing epic journey.

          • ks says:

            God this is so stupidly obvious but I guess I just have to spell it out for this hairy fucktard who thinks he knows all and can barge in here trying to defend a donkey.

            Listen bro. Real men don’t fucking post to Facebook about their feelings in a pathetic attempt at pity sex. Yes. Its that obvious. No one posts “OMG IM SHO SAD” shit except 15 year old girls who want attention. Are you a 15 year old girl?

            Go blow your nose into a $100 bill, jerk off into your Fleshlight (black,ribbed) and take down your fucking snivelling audiotape. If you procreate your kids will get shamed with that. Is that what you want, pity-fucker?

          • Dances with Hooves says:

            Just a slob, like one of us… just a stranger on the bus…

          • Braying Lady Crony says:

            Maybe this is about LaPhlegm trying to untangle herself from the egg she’s about to lay:

            https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=638760102879051&set=pb.100002352015950.-2207520000.1402549072.&type=3&theater

          • Norse Horse says:

            And re: this stupid bitch and her maid: How fuck does an American over 30 not know the tiniest bit of basic Spanish? I can forgive forgetting it. And even if you took French in school, sometimes that’ll do? Imperfect but.. was she homeschooled?
            I did French and Spanish for years in school, it was a requirement I enjoyed. This supposed inability to even talk to her maid..whatever. I’m sure the maid is trying to learn and understand. And i’m sure there’s a fucking app for that, by making an effort to reciprocate. God.

          • BunnyBingo says:

            So is the next iteration Ellsberg plus Ali Shanti?
            Poor Jena and her maid. Very Karen Walker.

          • Brian Bukkake's Baked Ham says:

            OMG re: the Spanish speaking. There’s an APP for that! Upload on phone, chose a language, speak, it translates. Problem solved. These people are the most drama riddled.

  13. ElGuapo says:

    Next stop on the crazy train is burning man, isn’t it? Haven’t been following closely but has she already grifted an RV and shitty polyester highly flammable costumes? And more importantly, is Avocado joining in the clit diddling sessions?

    • Tingolayo says:

      I don’t think Avocado would be caught dead at Burning Man in an RV that’s been fully stocked by a third party. He’s still pretending to be a hippie. Ali and Donk will be radically self-indulgent in their mobile apartment, with a Princess Parking sign and a shopping cart full of pink, plastic, made-in-China “camping supplies” from Target.

      • Princess WideStance says:

        Yeah. And it ain’t just them. The Wal-Mart near there gets CLEANED OUT every year during the first few days. So gross.

        • mcakez: Juicy Coobie says:

          PWS – You mentioned recently hanging out on the Yuba River, and now the McCarren Walmart. If you don’t mind me asking, are you in the NV City region, or more south by Yuba?

          • Princess WideStance says:

            Mcakez, I was gonna ask you the same thing because of a comment you made a while ago. We might be close to each other – email me! paintorange at gmail

    • Beauchamp is a misogynistic, controlling asshole aka jane says:

      is it burning man four times a year now or what? jesus

      • Tingolayo says:

        Yes. One woman who has attended Camp Grounded said it felt like a BM reunion– cliquish– and people were even referring to it as such. She said that she flew in from out of state, expecting it to be like summer camp for adults, but it had a California hippie flavor and she was not into that.

  14. Fell off the Rainbow Raft says:

    Maybe those coobies just couldn’t support the cutlets?

  15. erg says:

    the thing about a 30 day fitness challenge, is you not only have to workout but you also have to WASH YOUR CLOTHES. If JA was smart she could’ve staged 30 photos during her vanity photoshoot and then scheduled them to post to her FB every day for the month of June. And considering how proficient she is in photoshop, she could’ve shot them all in one bra and then changed the color in post. That’s how being a spokeswoman works.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      You are right. And it’s about 99% more work than a Donk can handle in one month. I think she feels like she’s done exerting effort for a while. Time for more festivals!

    • Brian Bukkake's Baked Ham says:

      Right Erg? This donkey with all the claims of being techy just isn’t. And not because she doesn’t know how. It’s because she can’t be bothered to even try. So lazy.

  16. Dances with Hooves says:

    I like to imagine the email that she did not like the other day, was from the Coochie people telling her to cut the shit. But the most likely case is, she’s just lazy.

    • Grifty Shades of Pepperoni Nips says:

      I suspect they told her they were flattered by her initiative, but that she needed to stop inventing campaigns and ads for them because it conflicted with their own marketing communications. At least that’s what I would have done. I wouldn’t have shut her down but I would have clipped her wings.

  17. JFA says:

    In other “never to be heard about again” news, how’s that intern search going, Julia? Yeah, thought so.

    • AFF says:

      In related news, InternSushi.com has become CareerSushi.com

      And no, Julia doesn’t have a listing on there, I checked. I guess now that she’d have to pay to run an ad, she’d never do it. I assume bravo worked out a deal with the site back when MissAssvice was in development.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        As recent as a couple of mo’s ago, her listing was already relegated to cache-only before the change — maybe they wised-up to the taint & toxicity of the Julia Allison brand?

        • AFF says:

          Maybe that, but I also think CA in particular is trying to clean up its exploitative internship scene, so perhaps outfits like Intern Sushi were put on notice.

    • Helena (Literally Fun In A Donkey HAHAHA Way) says:

      Yes, where is that super brilliant hyper organized college or non-college person who will gradually become fully integrated into Donk’s life and eventually become her chief of staff? THAT’s a documentary series I would watch.

      • Norse Horse says:

        Because I love “Veep” and Julia Louis-Dreyfus so much- the superb finale makes me laugh and laugh at A Donkey seeking a “Chief of Staff” unpaid intern. OMg, quel loon.

  18. Monday, blowing the crack rocks says:

    The only thing she’s truly committed to is being a lazy, lying, moronic failure. Maybe one day her family will commit her to an institution. But I know they won’t.

    • darling-dearest with softness says:

      which is part of the reason im actually really impressed she can do a headstand — I know the bar is set really low, but I’m amazed she’s gone to yoga enough to be able to do one.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Don’t be so sure … someone could have been holding her back legs ups … fauxto-chopping them out would be a breeze (by just overlaying the pertinent portion of previously-fauxtographed background) … it’s not entirely unfathomable to me that D0nkey could balance her over-sized gourd in that nest of gunky pelts, but those industrial-sized calf implants would be so top-heavy …

        • Cooter Challenge says:

          hmmm now that sewer cap she is on starts to make sense, maybe they affixed a pole or something and it is behind her or she is holding something for better balance and grip, the way her thumb is oddly up suggests gripping something.

          • dirty grifter festivals by the bray says:

            It’s not a sewer grate. It’s a seal in the center of the dome at the Palace of Fine Arts.

      • Dances with Hooves says:

        Meh. I’m sure even Attila the Hun had talents.

    • JFA says:

      You can’t commit someone against their will unless they are like, documented a threat to themselves or others. And even then, she’s lucky if she can get held for a few days max. Also, she has no insurance and I’m assuming her parents aren’t going to want to pay $5000 a day or whatever the fuck it is to keep her there.

      Ain’t happening.

  19. Psycho-delic Jiant Dewsh fka Lurker says:

    No doubt she whined at Camp Grounded about her hater blog and folks told her to stop posting dumb shit all the time. Possible she took their advice . . .

    • Grifty Shades of Pepperoni Nips says:

      People have been telling her that for years. She never listens.

    • Grifty Shades of Pepperoni Nips says:

      JFAing to say, though, that the rapidity and intensity of the Shantitown Massacre may have given her temporary pause. But she’ll be back, attention is her heroin.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Of the Camp Grounded 2014 fauxtos I’ve seen (admittedly, just a few), it didn’t appear to be the costume party that La D0nk no doubt planned on, so she may have stayed holed-up somewhere, claiming to be busy writing her omg book, if her option was to look demented around the young, hot girls. Oops?

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

        Serious question:

        What kind of adults does this camp draw? I mean, as adults we can go anywhere and do anything and perhaps with select friends. Why choose a camp filled with other adults you don’t know…unless it’s for swingers (sorry, showing my age) the “polyamorous crowd.”

        Any thoughts?

        • whatever, jane says:

          maybe it’s an extrovert thing

        • delurking for a hot minute says:

          I have an acquaintance who attended, and is close friends with homegirl tagged by JA in the “bring your tutus to Camp Grounded” chat (who is, btw, nearly a decade younger than Julia). Said acquaintance is very into Burning Man/SF tech scene. I think the event was primarily attended by friends of the founders and friends of friends of the founders – i.e., other Burning Man/techies. Hence the above comment re: why it felt “cliquish” because, well, it probably was!

          • Norse Horse says:

            In NYC and the Hamptons, that’s called a “ratfuck”. A party that’s not really a party, it’s all about networking and dick-swinging, a social event you have to attend but don’t enjoy because it’s all business and status and no fun at all.

          • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

            I went to the Camp Grounded site and it mentioned that “business was strictly forbidden.” Kind of like an exclusive club. I suppose one can network without doing business. Certainly Julia is there for that and spreading her charm like a rash.

            I guess my point was…so why go? I mean it’s less bullshitty and more honest to just conduct business outright without having to play “Capture The Flag” with fellow 30-somethings. Or are they really playing “Capture The Flag?” I guess sex would be an incentive to attend one of these camps. Still…I’d rather have polyamorous sex in Barbados with clean linen than in a cub scout tent full of grit and ants.

  20. AFF says:

    OT — MMBH admitted in her most recent blog post that her life is boring as fuck and she can barely bring herself to blog anymore. The whole time I was reading her post I was thinking “she needs some kind of structure and [non exercising] career” to move her mind beyond simple superficialities. She’s just exhausting.

    Just a snapshot of where these empty-headed NS people are 5 yrs after NS collapsed…

    • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

      I’m getting a craving for watercress…nutrient-rich, Szish-less watercress…

    • JFA says:

      I am always amazed the extent to which these bitches do not seem to understand that if you don’t have a fucking job or point in life, yes you are going to be bored/unhappy. And yes she has a kid but I lump Jordacted in this list. Newsflash, these griftery pseudo-careers are not gonna last long. Maybe it’s cute at 32 but when you’re 45 and trying to sell yourself as “fitness guru” or “happy healthy cute housewife” it doesn’t work.

      I don’t know how these people missed the memo to get a fucking job. Also does MMBH still live in Houston? No wonder she’s bored out of her skull.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I take vigorous exception to your characterization of Houston.
        I’m originally from New England, and I am happy to say Houston has never, ever bored me. It’s unruly and unpredictable and unpretty in any conventional sense, but damn is it interesting.

        • UV alert says:

          I moved to Houston after 20 years in NYC.
          It’s a strange place, but nice to have the sun
          and space.
          A little disappointed with the restos but love the
          high quality & low price veggies at HEB.

          MMBH’s dad is some real estate developer.

        • JFA says:

          I didnt’ characterize it. I’m glad you like it. But I would be bored out of my skull. You could not pay me enough to live in Texas. I was just assuming that might contribute to her boredom as she clearly was miserable there. Pardon me.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            Of course you characterized it. As boring.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            And please don’t patronize me by doubling down while saying “I’m glad you like it.”

          • JFA says:

            Meow! Guess it’s news to you that there is a large contingent of people who loathe Texas.

            You’re right, I don’t give a shit if you like it. xoxox

          • Dyspeptic says:

            You remind me of Julia. Really classy in your responses to people, and to the world at large. Copenhagen is really boring, I hear. As are you.

        • Grifty Shades of Pepperoni Nips says:

          Agreed. I lived there for ten years, ex hubby got transferred there, we got divorced there, so I was stuck. Houston is not boring. It has a vibrant arts scene. Great theater, opera, symphony, galleries, a very active gay community with a lot of personality. Wonderful art museums. Great medical center. I loved the food, there was a large asian community with terrific Vietnamese and Chinese food.

          I hated the weather, bugs, snakes, the high crime and the traffic, the underclass rednecks, the superwealthy airheaded progeny of oil money, the lack of interesting terrain (though the architecture of the downtown buildings was impressive).

          In the long run it wasn’t my cup of tea, but it was anything but boring.

        • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

          My Texas LOLyer friends love living in Houston / Austin, in part because TX pays NY salaries but charges TX prices. They also were largely insulated from the 2008-2009 catastrophic layoffs thanks to the oil & gas industry propping up the firms during that time. They report great restaurants and fun things to do. Virtually no one they know is actually from TX and they kind of laugh at the stigma of being a TX redneck.

          Dallas, though, nope.

      • AFF says:

        She lives in LA now and is a spin instructor for one of the trendy studios in West Hollywood. Before that she lived in Atlanta area with some kind of boyfriend who was a “tech founder”.

    • Shamoolia says:

      Her new boobs look nice, so there’s that…

      And JFA – she lives in LA and teaches spin a few times a week… and somehow is affording LA rent and a new Mercedes. She didn’t get the memo to get a fucking job because she didn’t have to. Girlfriend is clearly living off a trust.

      • NonSobriety says:

        Mary got boobs?

      • AFF says:

        The “bobbies” (as MMBH once typed) do look good, so there is that. The type of brain and ability for introspection/conversation that could reel in a decent guy is completely absent, though.

        • AFF says:

          I also love that her blog is full of “affordable tips” such as $200+ bathing suits and $10 granola bars.

        • JFA says:

          Ugh. Fake boobs are the worst. Sorry, no, frat guy. Get over your MMBH obsession.

          She’s a dim bulb. And with her 12 year old boy figure and anorexia I’m sure they look lovely.

          • Bunsy says:

            I know, I’m with you. For some reason — fake boobs just FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT! Years ago, I interviewed a famous Playboy photographer (what can I say? It was for one of my first piece for an alt weekly), and he said he would never let his wife/gf get breast implants… he said “unless you need them to earn money…” women shouldn’t get them. Now it seems that everyone in certain places have them (LA, Florida, Houston). Anyway. I think they look fake and weird. But that’s just me…

          • Norse Horse says:

            @Bunsy- And, don’t boob implants have to be replaced at least every ten years? Because the body recognizes them as a foreign invasion and covers them with scar tissue, literally tries to isolate them from the rest of the body. They might look good, make a person feel good, but the biology of a human body disagrees.

          • Bunsy says:

            @Norse Horse — And then I heard that you lose sensation in your breasts when you have this done, so I’m like — “why bother having breasts?” I’ve also heard they get hard, etc. I just think they look very fake and weird — like shoulder pads, very 1980s Reagan era. But that’s just me.

            I’m going the Audrey/Jackie/Grace Kelly route…

      • JFA says:

        She still needs to get a fucking job. Teaching spin a few times a week = not a full time job.

      • BunnyBingo says:

        I really thought Mare would have married well by now. Sad.

    • Tingolayo says:

      MMBH continues to blog about lettuce and sit-ups, and how a reader recognized she on the street, and how her is planning to wear a one-piece this summer. She also has helpful recommendations for foundation makeup to wear while exercising (bleeccchhh), and wardrobe inspirations from Coachella, which she calls “Woodstock for hipsters” and illustrates with a photo of that hipster Julianne Hough posed in front of a carefully weathered pickup truck from that hippie store, Old Navy. I ask you.

      • UV alert says:

        Isn’t it sad? MMBH is turning into a middle aged Calif exercise and food obsessed lady. Without the need or benefit of divorce. Just Daddy’s little gurl.
        I hope she meets someone to distract her from her boredom.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      Wasn’t she engaged to some dude who bought her those implants? Or did I totally imagine that? Is she single now? I haven’t looked at her spinning class diary of a blaugh in forever.

      • Braying Lady Crony says:

        Aaaaand I just read this whole thread and got the MMBH lowdown.

        SS;SF. I obvs need to get to spinning class, pronto.

      • Shamoolia says:

        I don’t know if she got the boobs in Atlanta or LA, but she had a serious boyfriend in Atlanta for a while. He was divorced and I don’t think he was interested in getting married again and then he dumped her the day after her birthday and she moved to LA like a week later. I kind of felt bad for her.

        • Bunsy says:

          She makes me really sad for some reason. Must be a drag to have a sister who is so “famous.” She’s like Lee Radziwill to Jackie…

        • Braying Lady Crony says:

          Oooh, that’s a harsh one for MMBH. Thanks for the update. I think the boobs may have appeared in Atlanta because the last time I checked her site she was still with the now ex and she already had the new boobs — she hadn’t moved to L.A. yet.

  21. Dances with Hooves says:

    I’m not naming real names but since there was discussion about no one ever calling the Donkey out (I don’t mean poking the Donkey.. but her “friends”) as opposed to the Shantitown BK implosion … I like that two people at least questioned JA on a couple of things recently. Someone asked “What’s wrong with Chicago?” when she threw the whole city under the bus, and someone else asked if she was still doing the 30 Day Challenge. Bahaha. Of course, both honest questions that I am sure she will ignore as usual.

  22. JFA says:

    Can I just say, that picture is freaking hilarious. “Take a pic of he doing a headstand!” My god, the narcissism never ceases to amaze.

    Jesus christ when will she get a life???

  23. Lurksa says:

    Did she remove all the Coobie posts?

  24. PassThePopcornPlease says:

    Found this video about Camp Grounded:

    http://vimeo.com/80178053

    • UV alert says:

      oh my, it’s like a fake trailer made by the Onion about
      infantile slackers.
      also, Dusty.

  25. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off says:

    Cat ladies and gents! I need you to send good thoughts. I have an interview for a full-time position with the alt-weekly that I’ve been freelancing for on Friday! It’s my first official job interview in a long, long time.

    • pink pestilience says:

      good thoughts!!!!

    • PassThePopcornPlease says:

      Waving both paws in your general direction, and sending many positive thoughts that you will kick butt!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Happy thoughts! Hoping they will recognize your amazingness.

    • JFA says:

      You go girl! :) You’ll rock it.

    • Drunken Polka Dot Feet says:

      Good thoughts! I always recommend people to askamanager.org, if you wanted any tips on interviews/interviewing. It’s a general career website, so while the situations might not be the same, it has really interesting general advice.

    • MY handfasting! says:

      Having just conducted 10+ interviews for an open position on my team, here are my 2 cents:

      If they are bothering to interview you they can already see hiring you. You got this!

      Goes without saying (I thought) – do your research & have 2 or 3 thoughtful questions that are specific to the position and company.

      Express interest without being desperate or needy. I swear, half my interviewees seemed like they were worried about being late to their next appt. and the other half seemed like they would burst into tears if I didn’t offer them a job on the spot.

      Be prepared for stupid interview questions like: what’s the most helpful criticism you’ve ever received?

      Send a motherfucking thank you email.

      You got this papi!

      PS: good luck!!!

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        RE stupid interview questions: be a solution to their headaches — company owner guy asked me how I managed stress, & when I said “I don’t ‘manage’ stress, I eliminate it”, he liked that, stopped the interview & hired me on the spot.

        Yes, you got this.

      • ks says:

        THIS. Good luck bro. And don’t drink at the interview. I got.passed over for that once. They hired me after that dickjead got fired but that’s old.news.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Softness says:

      Best of luck to you, handsome devil.

    • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

      Appendages crossed!

    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      I’m sure you’re a shoe-in – your writing is tight and witty and you have amazing work ethic. Good luck!

    • psychotic today says:

      Good luck!!!!

    • UV alert says:

      Buena Suerte, dude.!
      I hope it’s for the Reader.

    • solidarity cat says:

      Good luck, jp!!! Love, solidarity cat

    • PrincessWideStance says:

      The odds are very high that you will be the smartest person in that room. They will definitely see how brilliant and funny you are. Greg speed!

    • The Inimitable Greg says:

      good luck!

    • donkeycopter says:

      Good thoughts and fingers/paws crossed.

    • Jack Is Bankrupt & Lovin' It! says:

      Fingers and toes crossed, JP! They’d be lucky to get you!

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Best of luck, daddy.

    • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

      Good luck! You will be great. I don’t know anything about the writing biz. With that disclaimer, here is my interviewing 2 cents. Go over your resume / body of work / whatever it is that you submitted to them. They could ask you a Q about anything on any of that. So go over it and for each item, imagine they ask you some dumb Q like “what was your favorite experience with [resume entry]?” Think of a succint answer. I do on-campus recruiting and sometimes pick out the most random thing on a student’s resume and ask them about it. I generally either get a great story — great! Or they just sit and rack their brain trying to think of what the fuck they were talking about when they put that on their resume — far less impressive. Not saying memorize responses, just review your resume point by point and think of a short quip or story about each to jog your memory in advance.

    • frequent liar miles says:

      You are a total shoo-in, but you probably shouldn’t mention your association with a certain bullying cat-lady basement sect right up front, so as not to “queer the deal” … but, in the fullness of time, we will be there to support you in comments … 4evah!

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      Massive good luck to you. Your talent shines through on this site every single day.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      Rock it out, JP! And wear your dusty feathers. ALL THE FEATHERS.

    • Norse Horse says:

      Kissin’ ya and wishing you the best, JP! They’d be lucky to have you. xo

    • Pity Party for One Please says:

      Kill it!

    • Dyspeptic says:

      They already know you’re great. This is just a formality.

    • Grifty Shades of Cried-off Rhinestones says:

      So exciting, and I know you are going to freaking nail it. We are pulling for you.

    • mcakez: Juicy. says:

      How did it go?! How did it go?!

    • stalker is the new lurker says:

      Good luck !

    • Brian Bukkake's Baked Ham says:

      I’m late but wishing you well. You got this!!

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      How did it go? Hope there’s good news!

    • AnnaPelt is Happy at 138 says:

      No advice… just I’ve been there, and you’ll kill it.

    • Internationally Syndicated in the Telegraph of Calcutta says:

      GOOOOOD LUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

  26. Idle Hooves says:

    Seriously, where is this intern?

  27. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    How long did Donks actually manage to go dark during the whole announcing that she was quitting the internet but then not really event that was picked up by Gawker? Didn’t she realize she had to return after a few days or something because she was required to post something? Dark Donkey is strange.

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      she just posted a pic of Avocado meditating on some grass.

        • Dances with Hooves says:

          Yeah sorry. I couldn’t be bothered posting it, needed more wine. I’ll say one thing, I’m glad that when I used to do yoga regularly, I didn’t have to worry about someone taking my picture. But that was before every asshole in the world had a camera on them. What’s the point of yoga photos? Because it’s like anti-yoga to have your mind on the fact that youre posing for a fucking picture. And the person looking at the picture is not doing the fucking yoga, so they’re not getting anything from it, are they? Fuck yoga photos.

          • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

            I’m intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

          • Dances with Hooves says:

            if you want to know anything else, you’ll have to buy my book. which is actually a pamphlet. which I haven’t written.

          • Norse Horse says:

            Especially posing for yoga pictures on a piece of lawn at the Palace of Fine Arts that’s dog-shit heaven. Namaste!

        • Handbag Stuffed With Softness says:

          LOL white people.

          • Tingolayo says:

            Seriously. “Meditating” in public while someone takes your picture. Look at meeee!!!

          • Norse Horse says:

            @Tingo- she’s also facing a street about 12 feet away, and the (very nice) houses across the street. That dogshit piece of grass she’s on isn’t very meditative- friendly. But hey, nice background. She’s sending you the invoice by the way.

        • frequent liar miles says:

          It always shocks me that these suburbanites have no concept of how filthy the greensward in city parks is. Teeming with fecal coliforms! Liver flukes standing by! Just LOOK at the grass, Dumb-ass…

          • Braying Lady Crony says:

            This caused an eruption of chortles. Thank you.

          • Norse Horse says:

            Said before, I did a stint as a dog-walker (best job I’ve ever had, spending the day with doggies all over beautiful parks in beautiful SF) and I have personally picked up over 30 bags of dogshit from the exact spot she’s sitting in. You can’t really get it all though! Ooops, Spotty’s got diaharrea today! And, Donk’s sitting in it. So great.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think he’s on a lot of grass.

  28. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    Julia Allison
    13 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    One more time – anyone have any favorite “co-branded” couples for a big deal publication which is doing a story on them? You know, couples who both have large social media presences – Shira Lazar, Taryn Southern, can you think of anyone?

    • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

      I’m so tempted to suggest Smellsberg & LaFlame or Ali & Craig. Maybe the Get-A-Brain-Morins?

    • Tingolayo says:

      I swear to fuck, will she EVER learn how to use that/which?

      Also, why does she care? Did the “big deal publication” ask her? (As if.) Ehat the fuck is she braying about this time?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      One more time — which big deal publication needs Julia Allison, a plagiarizing hack, to flesh out stories for them? Nope, can’t think of a one. Or did AP hire her & she just hasn’t, via her personal Fecebook post, informed them yet?

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      NO, we don’t bitch! Do you ever post anything that isn’t fucking self-serving and pointless?

    • Hemmingway, Wolf and Bleeker says:

      What a major tool!

      She can’t be bothered to do any research (i.e. not even a Google search) for a “big deal publication”?

      SFTU, Donkey. Just STFU.

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

        Right, and isn’t SHE a SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT? Wouldn’t the identities of the most famous people on the webz be in her wheelhouse? The fact she has posted this stupid question twice now makes me think she is hoping to receive a certain answer that she hasn’t yet received. In her original post asking this dumb Q, she tagged Brit and Dave Morin. Then she immediately edited them out. So is she hoping someone else will suggest those 2 so she will have an excuse to poke them?

        “Someone suggested I reach out to you . . . ” Yet another situation where that “someone” would be Donks herself.

        • Jack Is Bankrupt & Lovin' It! says:

          Such a fucking amateur in every fucking thing that she does, whether “dancing” at some douchebag hippie festival or trying to make it look as though big time journalith at big time publications has sought out tech expert Mulia Mallison for her expert advice. Oh Donkey, never change.

        • PassThePopcornPlease says:

          Tagging and then un-tagging…is that like a subtweet?

    • Norse Horse says:

      “co-branded” couples simply nauseates me as a concept. Are we really at this point where people talk about their “brand” absolutely unironically? Much less, “co-branded”?

      Branding is for cattle and sheep. A scorching hot iron that leaves a permanent mark. Like Julia’s Internet history, lol!! Great “branding”, bitch!

  29. psychotic today says:

    Catladies this is OT but… The boyfriend and I are in the process of buying a house in shamshackle glam’s suburban town. (Yay!!) We have been in a long distance relationship and it is very exciting that he is moving his career, life and possessions to NY. I’m here asking for you catladies and gents for some help. I hate to be a Julia, but we are really struggling to find a moving company. We have gotten some quotes but it’s hard to find reviews on moving companies and we are nervous about picking a crappy company. Does anyone have any tips on how to find a good company? We have a time crunch because it is looking like the close for the house will be in a month. And, without signing up for Angie’s List how does one find a good contractor?? This is all new and stressful and omg exciting. Thank you in advance for any tips or advice you may have!

    • lol white people says:

      What’s wrong with signing up? I don’t know shit but I want to help. Don’t go with Starving Students movers. Honestly? I had my gf recruit good friends for our move and they Fucked Shit Up. Your best bet is to pack things yourself in bubblewrap and memory foam and assume anyone who touches your shit doesn’t give a fuck about it.

      If you have furniture that requires 1\8 a brain to disassemble, do it yourself.

      • Bunsy says:

        If you have china or anything decent, pack it yourself CAREFULLY. Point out the expensive stuff (furniture or artwork or whatever) and tell the guys — “Be careful with this!”

        • Brian Bukkake's Baked Ham says:

          Agree with Bunsy on this. Pack your valuables, and look on yelp for good movers….or do it yourself. BTW I hate moving.

    • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

      I was moved twice by these people: http://www.bekins.com/ and they didn’t break my shit. Disclaimer, I think they were pretty expensive but I wasn’t paying so didn’t care. But they show up and itemize and box everything and were very good.

    • solidarity cat says:

      I heart Moishe’s. Don’t expect any deals but they are great and straightforward about costs…

    • Wonkeye says:

      My neighbor just used Shleppers and they were great and cheap, despite missing a “c” in their name.

    • Wonkeye says:

      My neighbor just used Shleppers and they were great and cheap, despite missing a “c” in their name. I’ve heard bad things about Moishe’s so good to know they’re not universally bad.

    • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

      It’s a great town. I don’t live there but have a few friends that do and my parents are involved in some cultural stuff there. Great bookstore, near good hiking.

    • Bunsy says:

      I just used Big Apple Moving and Storage, and they were terrific. Hope this helps.

    • Norse Horse says:

      Wow. Good luck with your move, PT- I’m moving too, in August. And we have so much stuff- my books alone! And I am alarmed that Lol White People says, don’t go with Starving Students, because my bossypants sister suggested them and I went UGH at the thought. I’d rather pay the pros, “Starving” is not a word that inspires confidence when it comes to lifting and transporting a lot of heavy furniture. Yikes. Just, get competent movers with muscle.

      I’m anxious too about this move- I can relate. We both need to relax a bit and realize it will all be all right. Right? xo We’ll get it done and be happy in our new homes.

      • psychotic today says:

        Good luck with your move!!! It will all be ok in the end. We just need to keep reminding ourselves of that. And that we are going to have to get used to living with boxes piled up everywhere for a while.

      • Tiny and cute grammarian says:

        I’ve gotten moved profesh by big chirp paying for it, moved with just what fit in my car and everything in between

        Moving isn’t hard it’s the new roots part that is hard

    • dirty grifter festivals by the bray says:

      If you have a hard time choosing one, you can pack a crate yourself and the company will just deliver your “crate” at any address. There are a few companies that do this and require some advanced planning. Just fyi.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I loved Oz movers.

    • psychotic today says:

      Thank you all for the tips!!!! I really appreciate it. Dusty, I LOVE that bookstore. I grew up about 20 minutes away and use to go there a lot.

    • Ciaobella says:

      We have moved a lot and the best way to identify good movers is to ask them what percentage of moves have claims filed for damages. Any reputable company would 1) know this number and 2) have a low percentage (<5%).
      Valuable items like jewelry etc, I handle by myself during the move.

  30. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    She is trying to find her ghostwriter on fb. Welcome back, Julia.

    Julia Allison
    19 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    ***I’m looking for a really talented writer who wants to get some experience co-writing with me about dating/relationships/love for quite a large audience – please comment below or PM me

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

      “get some experience” = You will write the book for me, but I will not be paying you.

      • Grifty Shades of Pepperoni Nips says:

        “Co-writing”= writing by yourself while I’m off swanning around festivals and costume parties and unable to reach.

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      and of course she ignores the person who asked what was wrong with Chicago and the person who asked if she was still doing the 30-day challenge. typical.. this is why she is so boring and useless. at least shanti answers people before disappearing her posts.

      • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

        Some of Shanti’s followers turned on her after being led to public docs establishing that she is a sham. And she only provided an actual answer after 2 straight days of relentless poking. No one pokes a Donk, so.

        Serious Q: is it “against the rules” here to repeat questions nicely like “are you still doing the Coobie challenge?” on Donks’ fb? I get that not poking donks is because it would essentially prove her own point about this place, but is it really harassing to ask whether she is carrying on with her 30-day campaign she dropped after 2 days?

        • I’m intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. says:

          maybe in lieu of direct poke do a side prod and ask about the bras and how excited you are about them, and if u shld buy some, and where. not about the challenge, and add #cooberluv

        • Dances with Hooves says:

          I was being tongue-in-cheek about Shantitown, hehe..

          That said, I can’t answer your Serious Q but I’m sure someone can. In a perfect world, one of her followers would call her out, but they all seem to be in the grifty circle of life, or non-english speaking.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

            I realize I could never poke because the only reason I can view her comments is that I am a friend of a few of her friends, I clearly don’t want to out my actual self, and if I log on from a dummy account I can’t see the comments I would like to post on bc Jules has her fb settings set to all kinds of lockdown.

            Boo. But it is for the best; I would likely go off the rails poking her. ss, sf.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          Lurker, you confuse me. You first appeared here saying you knew Julia from Chicago, from the club, you said “mine is a face that would remind her of what could have been, and I’d frankly be surprised if she didn’t just duck and run pretending not to have seen me”, you told a story about her at the Cornell club, and yet you want to poke her on FB? Why?

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

            Because I got mad and stupid for a hot minute.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

            Also, see the post I posted right before yours where I said I realize I could never poke because I’d have to do it from my real fb account which I would never do.

          • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

            Lurker, my question isn’t about whether you’d ID yourself by using your FB account. It’s about your motivations.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

            My motivations? Really?

            OK. This is based on my recollection, not going back to double-check, but I believe I de-lurked a few months ago to say I knew Julia, and btw, I never said I knew her from Chicago, I said I’d seen her clomping around the club there, and that was at an event I was invited to by a mutual friend like a decade ago. I also said I’d seen her years ago at the Cornell Club and told a story about that.

            So back to my motivations, I didn’t really comment here that much until Shantitown happened. Unlike Jules, who is just doing her stupid thang, Alexis is a lawyer, as I am, and everything Alexis was doing set off all of my alarm bells. So I looked up her BK filings and posted them. Then I looked up her bar license and found she wasn’t licensed. And I posted that. I devoted a shitload of time in May to Alexis, not Julia, because each time I learned something new I found another law or rule Alexis was breaking. So I became a regular poster really not even because of Julia, but because of Alexis. The more I looked into Alexis, the more I uncovered. I even put together a letter about Alexis because I just couldn’t believe her stain on our profession.

            By contrast, I don’t go around digging up dirt on Jules. I just re-post (typically without comment) Jules’ posts that are only available to friends or friends of friends. Because I assume most here are not either of those things.

            And did I contemplate and post online a like 20 minute thought that maybe someone might call out Jules? Yes. But that is the extent of anything I have ever thought about relating to poking Jules. And I retracted that thought before you even asked your initial Q to me as I realized I would never poke Donks.

            I don’t really know what you’re getting at, but trust that this site has posted barely any inside info re Julia from me save from like one story from years ago. Aside from the one post about seeing her clomp at the Chicago club and seeing her alone at the Cornell Club, I have posted zero inside information about Donks.

            On the other hand, this site has posted several stories from me regarding Alexis Neely. All of which are backed up by public records.

            Jules is frankly boring to me. But Alexis shames my profession. My motivation to participate on this site has been 98% Alexis. Maybe even 100% Alexis.

            If you have any other questions re my motivations related to Jules, please do tell.

          • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

            Strange that a lawyer will come here breathlessly, nearly obsessively, to report on a potential bar discipline matter. Why would a lawyer post a draft letter to the bar here? And ask for advice here on whether to send it?

            You strike me as having a vigilante mentality that is as odd as any of the traits of the people this site has scorned. That’s all. Do continue.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

            I didn’t post my draft letter to the bar here. now you’re making stuff up.

          • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

            You are correct. You did not post a draft of your letter to the bar. I suppose I was confused the torrent of other things you’ve posted and your various statements about calling the CA bar, drafting a letter, having a friend admitted in CA send the letter, etc. But again, if you are a lawyer, why were you asking advice here on whether to report this matter to the CA bar?

          • Dyspeptic says:

            Sacred Scrapbooks, you are the custodian of our memories.

          • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

            “But again, if you are a lawyer, why were you asking advice here on whether to report this matter to the CA bar?”

            So you are disputing that I am a lawyer. OK. Upon hearing of Alexis’ BK claims, I pulled her BK filings on PACER. At least one of your resident lawyers here did the same thing and confirmed what I said. Ultimately, Alexis herself confirmed what I said. No one, including Alexis, has disputed what I reported about her BK. I also pulled her bar license. That’s a matter of public record, too. I just reported public facts about an apparent con artist. Alexis ultimately agreed with my statements about her BK and updated her status with the CA bar as a direct result of being called out for allowing her license to lapse.

            And why would I ask here about reporting her to the bar? Because I’m not about to rope my colleagues into her mess. Her shit is insane, and uncovering it has been my private splurge. Alexis (again, not Julia) is not water cooler convo around here. No one knows who the hell either of those people are. But I knew that there were some lawyers here familiar with the Alexis situation, so I asked here. I’ve never even contemplated reporting someone to the bar before, and so I asked the only people I knew who were somewhat familiar with the situation.

            You seem to have a problem with me, which, fine. But everything I have said here is true, and nearly all of it is public record. The only things I said pre-Alexis were two short stories about Donks sightings years ago. Go ahead and don’t believe those, no biggie. And go ahead and believe I’m not a lawyer, also no biggie. None of that changes the fact that the main things I have posted about here, which are about Alexis, are true fact public record. And some copy/pastes of Jules’ fb page.

            Finally, your statements characterizing me as obsessive / breathless and posting “torrents” of information are pretty on point. I latched on to Alexis (again, not Julia) hard, and my hours last month were horrible as a result. I’ll do my best to step back.

          • 8 dollar grapefruit says:

            Psycho-delic ballerina, I’m not sure why SS is being such a bitch. FWIW, I’ve really appreciated all your digging on Alexis, and I’m glad she got reported to the bar. I’m grateful for all the information and know-how you bring to the table – I’d never know how to look up any of this stuff ;-)

          • Bunsy says:

            @Lurker — my father, my sister in law, several of my cousins are lawyers… I just wanted to thank you for your research — WILD that that chick is representing herself as a lawyer and doesn’t even have a license? Thank you for unearthing this stuff. If I could report her — I totally would.

            Georgetown Law should know about this, too. Such an embarassment to the school and the profession.

      • PassThePopcornPlease says:

        I want to commend Psychodelic Ballerina on going down the rabbit hole and doing all the research she’s done on AS/AN. Didn’t strike me at all breathless, but methodical and detailed.

        The difference is that AMN is that while she has the law degree, she sat for the bar exam and passed. That makes her eligible to be sworn in as an OFFICER OF THE COURT. There are rules of professional conduct in effect in each state that govern an attorney’s behavior, so not being registered and yet proclaiming yourself as a personal family attorney(tm) is definitely calling BS on.

        And with her dozens upon dozens pages and social media, she never really says ‘what I’m about to tell you is legal advice but since I’m not your attorney you should always consult an attorney before you make a move.’ I’ve a big problem with that.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh this is delightful.

  31. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    And she needs a publicist.

    Julia Allison
    30 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    To the entrepreneurs and small business owners (or coaches, etc) who have had GOOD experiences with PR reps / publicists – which firms do you recommend?

    • Grifty Shades of Pepperoni Nips says:

      Haha, compare this with her boasting on her book proposal about what she was going to do.

    • Jack Is Bankrupt & Lovin' It! says:

      For what? To hold her hand as she stalks unsuspecting couples for someone, an actual journalist, at a big name publication? Christ, I love that. What reputable journalist would have anything to do with Julia Allison?

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      I thought she was the PR maven who could coach business owners to get their own cover story.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Hush now, that was days ago. She’s a different person now!

        • Tiny and cute grammarian says:

          Child drama shirt version a friend didn’t hove back my kittens precious drawings and they are gone now and my kitten is so sad

          Friends mom says, that was weeks ago why is she upset

          Bonus is that it was weeks ago because the psycho bitch junior kept not returning them

          Hunch that the little bitch said she made them and gave them to someone

          • Monday, blowing the crack rocks says:

            That bitch sucks and her mom sounds like a tool

          • Tiny and cute grammarian says:

            Thank you
            Bonus the mom is a fake hippie and the dad is a musician
            Child is truly a junior sociopath

          • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

            “Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life sized.”

            ― Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Emphasis on “GOOD”?
      Burn bridge, burn.

      BRAVO TV’S JULIA ALLISON SELECTS KEY LINK PR
      March 29, 2013, 10:11 am
      Filed under: Wins
      Bravo TV network star Julia Allison has selected Key Link PR’s Kirsten Texler as her new representative. Allison has made hundreds of television appearances on NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, VH1 and MTV, and is a journalist/columnist whose writing has appeared in a number of national publications, including ELLE, Newsweek, The Chicago Tribune, and Cosmopolitan.

    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      Didn’t she also have some guy/firm in Baltimore last summer (I can’t recall the named, the agency is probably gone now). I swear she has burned through so many agents, publicists, etc over the last ten years it’s impossible to keep track.

  32. Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

    Good Lord.

    Julia Allison
    5 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    Final question of the evening: who is the most influential woman – social media wise – that you know? Not “tv/movie famous” but “social media famous.”

    • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

      Alexis Neely.
      Ali Shanti.
      Jena La Phlegm.
      A Donkey.
      MMBH.

      Are any of the above your desired response, you social media maven, you? UGH

    • Scooby Don't says:

      The correct answer would be “Anyone but you, donkey”

  33. Dances with Hooves says:

    Julia Allison

    about a minute ago near San Francisco, CA.

    Camp Grounded was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Top 5, easily. And I’m including Burning Man and sitting with a shaman in Peru. THAT good.

    They still have spots left for Session 2 & 3 – use promo code CLAPTWICE to save $125 on camper registration. You won’t regret it.

    • Psycho-delic Ballerina fka Lurker says:

      She totally paid money to go there. As opposed to showing them her bullshit resume, bullshit fb followers and bullshit twitter followers and grifting a free ride in exchange for the promise of publicity.

      She’s advanced from grifting two cheap Coochie bras to grifting a $500 weekend retreat. Good on you, Donks, but you’ve a looooooong way to go to reach the $880,000.00 Shantitown jackpot.

    • Grifty Shades of Cried-off Rhinestones says:

      Her book, if it ever sees the light of day, is going to be so nauseating.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Good thing she posted that promo code so that Zakir Ughradar Zones and Ahmed Abd Algahny can go to Camp Grounded.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Telexfree Antofagasta is going to be busy, alas.

        • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

          Yeah I’m going to be at the Craig Filek retreat “When A Well-Fucked Woman Throws You Out Of Her Blanket-Shaded House And You Have To Move Back To Rochester To Assume Some Responsibility For Your Child”, which is that weekend, unfortch.

          • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

            Limited-time offer for a few very select participants. Act now for special price $10k. Why not?

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker says:

      CLAPTWICE sounds like a recurring STD.

  34. mcakez: Juicy. says:

    The thing about all of her stupid ass questions is they give the impression she is doing BIG IMPORTANT SHIT, when they’re all ultimately rhetorical. “Does anyone know a dazzling, determined, proactivating PR publicist which can handle public relations/promotion/branding for a handsome prince who took a certain someone to the the burn in a pumpkin and gave glass slippers for a tiny oral favor? Namaste!”

    The question has no bearing on reality. Legalese, namaste!

    (Namaste is the new bunnies, bunnies!)

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

      I think this nailed it..

      Poseur Donkey is posing.

    • PassThePopcornPlease says:

      I think she who doesn’t read her is engineering a mindfuck, but what do I know?

  35. Donkey is running scared. says:

    Camp grounded looked like a big dumb puddle of nothing.

  36. ShesJustStupid says:

    She also posted a screed about hating team sports like the World Cup. She’s such a downer. She doesn’t like that someone has to lose for someone to win. God.

    • crazytrain says:

      She doesn’t like anything where there’s a winner and loser because she is always, forever, the loser.

    • The Manta says:

      THIERY HENRY FLASHBACK! HOLD ME BACK BEFORE I KILL AGAIN!

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Wait, wut? Is this her thinking that she deserves a trophy for thinking about showing up somewhere? Cuz Julia Allison certainly didn’t mind that a woman lost her husband & father to her kids when it came to the competitive sport of Snagging a Married Man …

    • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

      I have to post her whole rant here. It’s an f-ing gem.

      Julia Allison
      6 hours ago near San Francisco, CA
      A potentially controversial post.

      “I don’t care about The World Cup. I mean, I really, really, really don’t care. I also don’t care about football. Or basketball. Or baseball. Or frisbee (actually, that sounds sort of “underdog” so it could be interesting.) Basically, I do not care about popular organized sports AT ALL.

      I DO care about people. And I care about physical activity. I care about staying healthy and I care about loving your body. But professional sports bore me to tears. I don’t care about the competition, I don’t care about the players who are paid way too much, treated like Gods (WHY???) and have outsized egos to match.

      I felt cut off from my own physicality for far too long because competition and traditional team based sports just didn’t resonate with my psyche. As it turns out, I love dance. I love ballet. I love jogging (short distances). I love yoga and hiking and beach walks and bike rides. I love hula hooping and headstands in the park.

      The kinds of physical activities that we do when we DON’T want to compete are often (almost always?) seen as “less than” in this world of hyper competitive testosterone infused professional sports. Perhaps it’s a tribal thing, to cheer like rabid dogs for people we don’t know doing things we can’t do. But I think it’s sad that mainstream media and society in general feel that the only physical activities worth covering or worth cheering for are those in which SOMEONE WINS and SOMEONE ELSE LOSES.

      That’s not the world I live in anymore, and it doesn’t have to be the world anyone else lives in either.

      Just a thought.”

      • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

        “But I think it’s sad that mainstream media and society in general feel that the only physical activities worth covering or worth cheering for are those in which SOMEONE WINS and SOMEONE ELSE LOSES.”

        Transbraytion:

        “None of the magazines or TV shows I contacted were interested on doing a story on how I do yoga in the park wearing a cheap padded bra. I want World’s Cup-size crowds to follow me around and cheer me on as I do utterly mundane things. Christ, I’m such an asshole.”

        • pink pestilence says:

          Exactly!! And didn’t she just do some long post about how she knows how to hack the media, and they are looking for a story, a transition, a hero, or some such?? What story is there in non-competitive headstands? or hulahooping? And really almost every single activity she listed IS competitive. and really, fuck her for shitting on a competition that brings the world together and is quickly becoming one of the most popular sports in the US for students.

      • Princess WideStance says:

        I DO care about people.

        Biggest lie she’s ever told.

      • Tingolayo says:

        Attention, all you soccer fans in South America and Europe: you’re supposed to care about ballet and hula hoops, you uncouth swine. God, she is so tone-deaf to the world.

        Donk, when’s the last time you supported the ballet? I didn’t think so.

        • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

          Break out of your limited belief system! While boring normals like Momsers support cultural institutions, Julia seizes around on a piece of plywood in a dusty leotard. WHO is doing more to support ballet?! BOOM paradigm shifted! :)

        • Tingolayo says:

          She also posted that at 2 a.m. on a weeknight– wasn’t part of her fake Coobie challenge about adopting healthy sleep habits?

      • darling-dearest with softness says:

        yes, when i think of something that’s not competitive and easily accessible to everyone, i think of ballet

        • Princess WideStance says:

          Right??

          And she needs to be real – when she’s “dancing” at these festivals, she is 100% competing with other, hotter chicks.

      • Nickelodeon Chic says:

        I don’t know why I’n even bothering to be surprised that her new personality rejects elements of the old at random, but I love football and remember being like “are you effing kidding me” when she pretended to like football briefly a few years ago. I think this was in her living in Chicago phase? She made some comment about defense or something? It was brayge inducing and I just had a flashback.

        Don’t forget, she almost married Jay Cutler. *snort*

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Julia Allison, consummate hater of organized sports, attended Miami Superbowl Week because WHY? To try & land a wallet, natch. Julia Allison also tried (& failed) to bag Jay Cutler.

        I defy D0nkey to identify even one person (Mom$er does not count!) who gives the remotest sliver of a shit whether or not she likes what they like.

      • like a basilisk, but with lies says:

        “Just because it gives many, many other people pleasure to follow a team, cheer for a player or individual athlete, train for and participate in recreational competitive sports, teach their children to play, and conduct drunken arguments over minutiae of game history and theory with friends, neighbors, and countrymen is no reason that we should collectively pay any attention to these things, which are boring and useless because I do not personally like them. Just because many, many other people are capable of understanding that, as Little League coaches tell children every day, ‘it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game,’ risking the pain of failure for the possibility of the pleasure of victory, finding the joy in training and practice and competition regardless of the outcome of that competition, picking themselves up after a loss to hope and prepare for the next victory, and seeing competitive sport as a metaphor and model for more important kinds of behavior is no reason that we should not spurn anything competitive, because I personally view any kind of loss as catastrophic and self-destroying, the kind of event that might reduce an individual to the shell of her former self, unable ever to attempt anything ever again.

        “Also, I apparently haven’t picked up a mainstream publication or perused the blogosphere in some time, because I think there is too little attention being paid to yoga. No one ever talks about dancing or dancers, and very little collective attention is being devoted to lionizing exercise.”

        • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

          She absolutely pitched herself as a cover girl to some yoga magazine to show everyone she was the omg #1 winner of yoga, got ignored, wrote that post.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Julia Allison is no doubt still scrambling to get someone, anyone, to pay Daniel Cohen for that faked “I’m the newest Coobie Bra HoaxD0nkey!” fauxtoshoot.

            Heh. Good luck w/ THAT, D0nkey.

            P.S. D0NKEY!

      • Telexfree Antofagasta says:

        Oh god the brayge-inducement!!! Where is a fake punching homeless man when you need one?! Hold me…

        “But I think it’s sad that mainstream media and society in general feel that the only physical activities worth covering or worth cheering for are those in which SOMEONE WINS and SOMEONE ELSE LOSES.”

        I think it’s sad that a 33 year old donkey won’t get a real job and will have to be bankrolled by her parents forever.

      • 8 dollar grapefruit says:

        You know, I have to give her credit for being consistent. I’ve spent, what – almost 8 years of my life now learning about this girl’s life? And the one constant that this coobie thing and that world cup-related drivel is that as much as she thinks she changes, she’s still the same.

        It’s sad, and yet – I don’t know, it just makes me feel bad for her in a way.

        • MY handfasting! says:

          This comment is kind of killing me.

          On the pot so forgive but yes, I feel bad for her too. I also wonder how bad I should feel about myself. For being the same as I ever was despite the external (and true) appearances to the contrary. For spending so much time following this loon – I swear, when one of the custodians links to something from years ago to illustrate a point I almost always have a vivid memory of that old post and think to myself, shit, that was 4+ years ago. What.the.fuck. Why are you even interested in this loon and these type a haters and for soooo long! Go pay some bills or do some yoga.

      • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

        LOL, why don’t people cheer for meeeeeeeeeeeee???? Also, wasn’t this bitch on a high school synchronized swimming team? Did the exhibitionism of that not resonate with her psyche? Or perhaps it was not psychically vibrationally congruent? LOL forever.

        • AnnaPelt is Happy at 138 says:

          If she keeps up writing at this rate, she’ll have a book in no time!

      • Nickelodeon Chic says:

        Bless you, Prof F. Camping for preserving Julia’s ode to “good ol’ college ball!” I needed that good laugh.

        http://rebloggingdonk.com/2012/02/03/this-is-julia-allisons-current-profile-picture/#comment-323875

        • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

          haaaa

        • CaptainGary says:

          Oh, man – this one really chapped me, for whatever reason. Probably because it was an indication that she can never just be wrong or unheard or whatever – she has to have the last word, always.

          • Dusty Adorned Documentary Series says:

            She wrote more words about the fact that a thing does not interest her than she ever writes about all the topics she has declared herself to be an expert in.

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