It’s not right but it’s also not okay that Donkey almost had it all.
Now I’m off to dance with somebody…..
I know it’s wrong but it felt so right making that. I am now obsessed with them. Made an epic one for my boss and working on one for my sister and my niece. The themes are hilariously cheesy.
I wish you’d make one chronicling all the years (& years) of Julia Allison tucking that same ol’ raggedy-ass black cardigan sweater into asst’d poofy skirts.
Misread your abbreviation as “assisted.” Still made sense given all the skirt pulling.
Or a compilation of D0nkey’s straddling-zip-codes wide-stances.
Or do one in response to her last two Fecebook posts where she put up a fauxto-shopped contortion pic from her Serious Bidness Lady stint, followed by a link she put up about her disconnected outrage at media for photo-shopping ALL THE GIRLS.
So much idiocy to work with; so little time …
PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO DO IT.
Jacy! I could finally watch it in all its glory. It’s just wonderful!! Tears of laughter, tears of joy and all that!
You are really good at these, Jacy. Maybe you should quit your day job. I know that I will be coming back to this for laughs again and again, as I have been for the Misty Watercolor Memories photomontage. If Donkey weren’t so terrible, they would almost make me feel bad for her. So much fail, hung out for all to see (not that she didn’t bring it all on herself.)
1) Nothing better has ever happened on the internet.
2) OMG! One of my photochoppes made the cut! I die!
One tiny question — I didn’t see Tucker Max, did I miss something?
He doesn’t count, he just bought her at an auction like a cheap whOH WAIT
What about Prop Thing?
Or Chaz Forman?
Chaz and Prop thing are in there. Did you watch the whole thing?
Busy desk erranding (watching while working). I thought I might have missed one or two. I didn’t see eater guy either. Ben’s LMGTFY post was one of the best Donk-disses of all time.
He’s in there.
Eater Guy is in there.
I think the response you have been looking for is, “This is hilarious, Jacy.” Or you could make your own video. Either way, give the bitching rest.
I appreciate that, Worrisome. Tough fucking crowd, my God. Buzzkills!!!
I wasn’t bitching, I was saying there are just so many dudes (and yellow teefs) it’s hard to remember if they all made the cut.
One guy who isn’t even in there is the ACTUAL fiancé from Georgetown Law. Do we know if Donks ever secretly pines for him or wonders what could have been? She could’ve been ensconced in Newport Beach, carefree and cared-for by someone other than her dad. Instead, she decided to f#ck a married guy 3 time zones away.
Jesus, Afghani. So fucking picky. Has the GU Law School fiancé’s mug even been shown on RBD? Would anyone recognize him? I sure as hell wouldn’t and I was at GU when he wrote Julia’s embarrassing defense in The Hoya.
Let’s celebrate Jacy’s wonderfully fun video, which features those figures known and beloved on RBD, from Pancakes to Yellow Teefs to an eye rolling Ricky Van Veen.
I did forget Ford, however. Will try to redo later.
Rob Ford?!? JK JK JK
The first thing I said was Bravo Jacy. I come off as pushy online and need to work on that, but I had ineffable gratitude for the video. As far as the poor chap from GULC, I still contend it’s funny that Julia has flaunted all these short term, uncommitted relationships over the years but that we still don’t know much about her _actual_ fiancé. It can’t be because she’s a good person and wants to protect him. And yet, of all these men, he is the only one that got down on dat knee and asked her to be his wife.
yeah, that was just a good raping, not TRUE LOVE.
Holy shit was she ever SMUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG during the Pancakes era. She really thought she’d shown everyone with that, no?
She just knew how much the little McCainlettes would appreciate those snaps of mommy and daddy’s first Christmas together.
Pancakes with a side of pancakes cracks me up every time!
McCainlettes – I die.
@Jacy – What program are using using to create these works of (f)art? I want to do a greatest (s)hits montage of my Donkey photochops.
One True Media.
One True Media to document the one true love… and that other true love… and that one… and that other true one… and, oh, hey, I forgot about that one!
The fact that Tim Ferriss is holding up fingers is just perfect.
He is soooooo creepy looking. What is it with Donks and guys who look like they dine on human liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti?
I do not understand his appeal at all. I know, money, but the fact that money makes a guy with such ample amounts of creepiness okay…ick.
I had a chance to bang an extremely loaded (as in private jet loaded) dude once when I was in my 20s. He was hot for me. He drove a Ferrari. Who knows, maybe the fucker would have married me — he married someone soon after. But he was hideous. I couldn’t even kiss him, never mind fuck him. No amount of money could make me fake-fall-in-love, or fuck, an ugly dude, no matter how loaded.
Speaking of which, if any of you have not seen Queen of Versailles, do it. It is fantastic.
I don’t even mean just physical looks with Ferris. I mean his ENTIRE vibe. He just comes across as sooooo full of himself (which I personally find repellant but I know not everyone does) and he presents as a total scammer. I’m not sure how he has any amount of fame.
I was completely enthralled with Queen of Versailles…wow just wow…Part of me feels bad for them but another part wants to smack them upside their heads and yell “WTF were you thinking!” One part that sticks out in my mind is the WalMart shopping trip where she buys bikes for her kids and then they show a pile of them sitting unused in the garage at home. Oh and her supposed best friend whose home was in foreclosure. She tried to help her with some money but it wasn’t enough to save the house.
You can see both sides of their story and you’re torn on which way to lean.
Exactly. And although she was clearly a gold-digger, she seemed genuinely sweet. The kid who was so attached to the nanny though was heartbreaking
The Q of V is crazy. I watched it on loop forever.
Fingers? did someone say fingers?
What about Finger-banger Zinceko-dude?
“Bang This, Not That!”
Bang This, Not That made my day ALMOST as much as Jacy’s epic motion picture.
Right after the Finger Banger, did you get that??? Did you see my directorial genius??!??!
[Redacted #1] really was a hot piece of stone crab.
I WAS JUST COMING HERE TO SAY THAT. Zomg, not my type but sooo cute. That is really the one she never got over. Man great fucking that one up. My god. Didn’t she dump him for Redacted 2?
Right after she broke up with #1, there was… this (would you guess he’s rich? Bear, shit, woods, etc.), and a holiday trip to the Caribbean:
oh yeah, and this guy too (Candace Bushnell’s ex)
Stelios’ birthday party, a comment on this pic on Flickr:
I’ve always found Stelios incredibly frightening. And sweaty. And from the look of things…now balding. Good thing he’s got money.
Please dear god tell me she fucked that dude. Please dear god!
Wait. Who is that? I have never heard this story.
Greek Billionaire and REAL founder….
of easyJet in Europe.
She should have stuck with this one….really.
OMG! I remember her posting ages ago about the Greek billionaire who took her on a trip on a private jet, but I’m certain that she never posted his picture. And now I know why.
I take your snark, No Jobs By Bravo, and turn it into a large, sweaty Greek man who hovers over your bed nightly and drip, drip, drips sweat upon you until you wake up smelling like Tzatziki!
Wow. Is that man unattractive. I wouldn’t even meet him for a coffee @ Starbux.
But would you meet him on his private jet for champagne and then act shocked (SHOCKED, I tell you!) when he gets the impression that you might be willing to sleep with him? I’m asking for a sisterfriend.
Seriously how many cotton balls had to die for that shirt (and he coulda run a few over his face). Not sad I missed that era.
Now, let’s not put down the uber-mega-gazillionaire’s unfortunate physical looks. Rather, let’s mock who found his wallet attractive…and tit-thrusted him.
Then he should be able to afford a cotton ball, no? This site is dedicated to person we know her to be, and he doesn’t get of that easy because he’s attractively challenged. Use of plane on a date is gross. Don’t care how rich or how unattractive it’s not justifiable.
No Jobs, I was making fun of her generally. She has accepted at least one trip from a man she wasn’t ingerested in. I have no idea if this dude was involved.
WP my snark was for beep. bad day. sorry.
Wait who is this? I don’t think I ever knew about this guy. And here I thought I was just ABD with my Donk PhD research. Back to school for me!
Same here– and I still get my Redacteds mixed up. Remedial Donkology for me.
easyJet founder (for realz)
and probs very nice
He looks nice…. but a superficial Donkey is superficial, and never woulda been with dat dude.
Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou
Net worth minimum £2.4 billion
In June 2006, Stelios received a knighthood from HM Queen Elizabeth II for “services to entrepreneurship”.
He reminds me of Herb, the Jaguar salesman dear poor Joan had to sleep with to get her partnership on Mad Men. Joan found him loathsome, but goddamn if she didn’t get that partnership.
My point being, Donks sucks as a gold-digger. He’s a billionaire and knighted a “Sir” now? Who gives a shit about his looks, close your eyes and think of the money! She could be divorced with a nice settlement by now.
It worked for Jackie Onassis.
the expiration date for being arm candy for that level of rich is long since passed
Also, I’m not slut-shaming, but homegirl got around, didn’t she?
Gold digger-shaming is always acceptable.
And she will continue to do so!
Gawd I hope so. It’s so much fun for us.
Even more so now that she has discovered hard drugs and OM.
Totally jesus. How many goddamn boyfriends has she had? “11 dates!” my ass.
Brilliant. The era when she couldn’t move her upper lip AT ALL is one of my faves.
She has a shadow on her upper lip in a few of these pics, did she once have a ‘stache she waxes or had lasered?
Pancakes with a side of pancakes!!! For me, that will always be the BEST meme that was ever developed here. My kitten and I use that – or versions of that – *all* the time. Never gets old.
She was actually hot once. Like a painting gets overworked…. Plastic surgery has made her a muppet
After the first round of “work”, she was (at least physically) attractive. I think the first round was just the chin implant and nose job. When she and MMBH started getting botox/juviderm/restylane for “preventative” reasons was around the time things went south. There was also a second nose job somewhere in there, some veneers, and a host of other injectable goodies.
Actually, her first round of work in college left her looking a little pinched. The second round was the ticket. Then she kept going…
::ahem:: Looks to me like the first round of work done was an effort to offset severe bow-leggedness …
And iiiihhhheeeyieeee only know half of these guuyyyyyhhheeeieees….
I only recognize Derpin, pancakes, Ferriss, Jakob, greasy. Everybody else is, who?
Sorry, also JellyD and the black dude from MA.
JFAing myself to ask why yellowteef is in there?
Because it’s funny and Donk won’t let go of her either.
Bipolar dude is there – Jacob
Weren’t they all bipolar and refusing to take their meds? I mean anyone who fled from Her Supreme Hotness must be crazy, right?
The gaping maw with Dave Morin/purple dress…dying. She seriously unhinged her jaw there. You’re amazing Jacy thanks for the lulz!!!
OT, just read this:
“Doctor Who alum Karen Gillan is returning to TV. The actress…has been tapped to star in ABC’s Emily Kapnek comedy Selfie, The Hollywood Reporter has learned.
The modern take on My Fair Lady is inspired by the musical and tells the story of a self-obsessed 20-something woman named Eliza Dooley (Gillan) who is more concerned with “likes” than being liked. After suffering a public and humiliating breakup, she becomes the subject of a viral video and suddenly has more social media “followers” than she ever imagined — but for all the wrong reasons. She then enlists the help of a marketing expert at her company to help repair her tarnished image.”
I wondered immediately whether Emily K. walks among us? It’s not the Julia Allison (Brand) story as such – but parts of that description sound like it could have been inspired by RBD.
Now what we need is a girlfriend/goddess/soul sister/bffaeae version, which by my estimations would clock in at roughly the same length.
Yes! What should the song be? “We Are Family?” “Soul Sister?”
I vote for “We Are Family”! Pleeeeeeeeze do this!
It’s in the queue but would be funnier to wait til she’s had another public falling out with yet another “sister.”
Annie Lalala probably won’t last much la-la-longer!
There doesn’t appear to be a sacrificial blonde for this year’s birthcray …
TAG! You’re it, La Phlegm!
Meanwhile, howza ’bout something to:
Diana Ross – “I’m Coming Out” ?
me too. also, funny to see that “Media Personality” Julia Allisons’ videos are nearly all now private. “You better work, bitch!”
Irving Berlin’s Sisters, Sisters from White Christmas…
the final line alone sells it.
“And lord help the sister, who comes between me and my man”
Oh we’re family alright, until I call you a bitch on the public platform that’s supposed to be our joint business, or divulge the details of your domestic assault for one more chance to be on Gawker, or try to sabotage your birthday party that I was pointedly not invited to, or bone loudly on the couch you’re letting me crash on, or tweet about your husband being “scarily attractive”, or relentlessly patronize you with offers to be my “brilliant stylist” in order to infiltrate your circle of cool friends and get close to your successful boyfriend, or just generally be the sort of person that makes it even REMOTELY PLAUSIBLE that I would break into your apartment and steal your costume jewelry, sweet Jesus.
Heh. Whose birthday party did she try to sabotage?
Pretty sure that was Randi’s when Randi’s husband specifically didn’t want to celebrate R’s bday with JA’s
Julia Allison took to Gawker to out her ‘good friend’ Randi Zuckerberg’s husband when he tried to plan a surprise birthday party for Randi, just because she felt neglected that she wasn’t involved in that year’s party.
Awesome work Jacy!
Needs moar Harold Ford Jr and the Men’s Health dude. Oh, and that dude who flew her to St Barth’s.
Prop Thing was the one who flew her to St. Barths. He’s in there. Twice, I think.
those creepy dudes (pics above) also took her to st. barths
I don’t understand how she’s had this many bf’s. Granted they usually last a hot minute. But do guys like sociopaths? I guess they are cunning and you don’t know til they check your email that they are cray.
A certain kind of idiot man buys into the pop culture cliché that crazy women are wild in the sack.
Our Donkey is, of course, the example that disproves that rule.
She’s just a sackful of crazy.
You’re assuming that they actually knew they were her boyfriends at the time. JellyD sure didn’t know. So many of them look like they’re keeping her at arm’s length.
The picture of her with the Mark Kirk sign reminds me of a conversation I once had with a congressional field organizer. I asked him what a official watch party is like (I’d never been at the time). He said, “A lot of people who’ve never even shown up at headquarters get there early, eat all the food and shove campaign staff out of the way to get photographed with the candidate.”
Is it just me, or is there so much hair on her left arm it looks like she’s been photoshopped into the picture?
Future cite / cite sight of green skin tags.
I like Hirsute, natural, style, pura vida. xoxo
Good news, bunnies! According to Donkey, the only reason Miss Advised didn’t have a second season was because she was too madly in love with Devin to consider doing it without him and he didn’t want the attention ( http://rebloggingdonk.com/2013/01/26/julia-allison-apprised-of-miss-advised-demise-unwisely-tells-ill-advised-lies/ ) This must mean that MA IS BACK ON, BITCHES!
Rumor mill! Rumor mill!!!! MA had pathetic ratings. It was, in Bravo terms, a loser. I’d be very surprised if round 2 is cuming at us… and I mean shreiking OM right AT us, all over the screen toward us….
Think this was facetious. It got canned because no one watched. She was saying that ostensibly before they finally announced it wasn’t coming back, even though she obviously knew it wasn’t coming back.
It was indeed. LGD needs to adjust his/her dosage.
Courtney Kerr’s show was castigated for having shit ratings, but they were better than MissBegotten’s.
That show was equally as awful. She’s about as self aware as JA. The two of them in a room would suck out all the air in about 2 seconds vacuum sealing it shut.
She just linked to a Justine Musk post on strength through suffering and she hasn’t updated #365hateful in a week. She’s dumped.
Totally. There was never any doubt in my mind. All the signs were there. The only thing she hasn’t done is post a pitiful melodramatic screed about how hard she’s crying and how she can’t get out of bed and how WE DISCUSSED MARRIAGE.
Next, someone who totally isn’t her comes here to reveal something personal about Devin, then Julia herself comes by to angrily demand we leave him alone!
Am waiting for that. “He’s bipolar and wouldn’t stay on his meds!”
Your email inbox is about to be a festival of WTF.
“He’s bi-curious and wouldn’t stay in my Wookie bed!”
hard to imagine anything worse than what we already know
And she can’t possibly do this because she’s boxed herself into a corner as some happiness expert.
She’s botoxed herself into a corner
That wouldn’t comport with her new persona of being so happy and spiritually fulfilled.
Which is a lie.
I figured she’d been dumped when she didn’t post on Valentine’s Day. That she didn’t even have the desire to buy herself a bouquet of flowers and post a picture of it next to some candles burning so that the internet would think that she was having an awesome, romantic V-Day said dumped to me.
They are all gone, even though her mind tells her they are not.
What does it mean that she was dumped by the man her dead meemaw sent her?
Laughing so hard. Good point! GRANNY HATES YOU TOO!
Let It Unravel.
maybe if Jules had ever really “learned to grieve,” Gram would have let her keep him.
oh greg, that is funny.
Her grandmother prefers her with someone not gay and rich. Also, she tried her best. JA has to take the reigns after. Beloved Grandmother is done with this bitch.
I’m picturing Beloved Grandmother kickin’ it in heaven like Elaine Stritch, looking down. “What the FUCK is she thinking? Bartender, I’ll have another.”
Granny died the day she met THIS MAN! So… In some warped way…. Life is like a box of shit chocolates when you’re a shit person…
For those of us new-ish to the Donkey Show, would it be possible for some kind catpeep to name the guys in order in the video? I know most of their names, but for about half of them I can’t connect them with their images.
2. Dave “still raising $50M at a $500M valuation” Morin
3. Old Yeller
4. Alex, the married dude she left her finance for
5. Random Miss Advised dude from Central Casting
6. Another random Central Casting dude
9. RVV (joke, he never dated her)
10. Greasy (left); Wallet Thing (right).
11. The “ineffable” Alex Marquardt
12. [Redacted #2]
13. [Redacted #1]
15. Pancakes with a side of pancakes
16. Eater Guy
17. Wallet Thing (Prom King)
18. TK, or how Julia got Eggers on her face
19. Kevin Rose
20. Balthazar Fingerbang
21. Tim Ferriss, the 4-minute man (i.e. 33% slower than an ordinary egg timer)
You are a spirit goddess of softness.
Wow. And thank you!
Thank you thank you thank you!!!! I will go over 15 minutes of OM for you.
No, all thanks to Jacy for putting together this sexually delicious montage!
Testing my new name. (The video is magic, Jacy. Kisses.)
I snorked softly in my ginger ale.
I would love to do a compilation of her non society posts about every time she gets a new boif and how they are “the most gentle, kind men she’s ever known.
Redacted 1 – “he drew me baths…”
PK – I think she gushed about him once.
Jack McCain i know she did that too.
And finally, Debby.
I think you meant:
This made me choke on my double stuff oreos!
Always with the superlatives, this loon.
They’re all men of honor and moral soundness who are also the kindest. They all really, really loved her.
Great Men, actually, if we’re being precise.
and good kids (not capitalized)
And Powerful Moms.
Damn, today I really miss the Like Button.
I was just thinking…. hasn’t it been about six months since Julia went mostly dark and then listed “six months off social media”* in her book proposal? I mean sure, this would be a first if she actually did something she set out to do, but I sort of expect her back in full Twitter/blerg/etc force any minute now… especially since she must be feeling attention-deprived now that she has lost the chance to be a Professional Performer of Love Relationship like Lala.
it has also been about six months since (right before she went darkish) she got “punched in the face” and I became possessed by the Julia-demon and wrote like eight thousand Tweets in her voice. I’m back.
She has been Facebook and Instagram posting for months. If she went dark at all, it was for a matter of weeks.
She was off about six seconds in the grand scheme of things. And crank up the crazy is in 2 about seconds. Grab a snack.
But it’s been much, much less than the good old days…
Live in the now soflty.
Oh man, the Forman/WANGS moustache pic brings back memories.
Is it too late to declare my undying love for Jacy?
I don’t understand how or why someone would make that face.
She hated him. Called him a “whiny little bitch” publicly.
This is the other interesting thing about her. She largely treats every single dude like shit when they first start dating. Then she completely loses her shit when they dump her. Despite her public proclamations about Derwood in the beginning, we heard from people who said she treated him badly and talked shit about him all the time. Lasagna told us as much. What a surprise that these dudes distrust her and want to flee. Imagine the crazy close up. Holy shit.
That loveumentary shit was pretty much Julia Allison Baugher trying to accept settling for Devin Stetler because no one else wants her and her expired cunty ass.
I can’t believe I made it thru to the end of it, but its the best part. the host guy kind of falls all over how WISE she is about love and her head just explodes and she holds forth for about 10 minutes straight about nothing while he goes “OMG MY MIND IS BLOWN.” Basically its her saying over and over how society, and “most people” have it all wrong and she and Devin have it all figured out. There is so much between the lines there about how shitty she treats him, even then.
I say it all the time, but I’m amazed at the talent on this page. The video was better than my wedding one (seriously). Thank you for the whore du jour world tour recap. Never saw so many male faces struck with donkholm syndrome at once before, it will haunt me for days to come. Pancakes with a side of pancakes is great and making me hungry. Thank you for making me laugh, as usual.
She really does have a superior class of haters.
Type-A haters, even.
Suggestions for Julesie’s new OKCupid (or whatever dating start-up will give her $15/Tweet) profile. I’ll start:
“Wired Covergirl wants to be yours in softness.”
Poofy, dusty Georgetown graduate past expiration date looking for love.
I work at book deal of happiness.
“I work at book deal of happiness” made me snort
Dry shampoo abusing Wired cover slut formerly of Indiana state wants soft penis but from a medical school or Dave Morin.
She doesn’t work anywhere.
Donkey has bolted for Central America to contemplate life.
Yep off to Costa Rica by herself.
If it were Brazil, I would say Lady D should watch his back until her plane takes off.
She’s going there for this: http://www.2014.envisionfestival.com
This sounds horrible:
No seriously what the fuck is this.
She got another spkg gig?
@JFA – This is Hell for people who value personal hygiene and spending a reasonable portion of their day sober.
Donkey should expect to come back with sand in her lady parts and lice in her pelts.
Never mind. Maybe it’s a cow donkey-tipping thang …
It’s sure to end up like The Beach, which I was unaware of prior to various catladies’ comparisons here to Donkey’s C.R. idyll but once discovered I enjoyed immensely. Blood poisoning and anemia and psychotic breaks all around. Highly recommend.
I don’t recognize a single name on that– except for John Perry Barlow. Who are these people?
Whaaaaa – t? These are, like, completely madeup names.
Also: John Perry Barlow completely sold out JFK jr after the plane crash and Caroline was maaaaad at him for talking to the press! xoxo
Wow, two full sets from “Tipper?”
All Gore must have sent her out on tour.
I feel itchy just by looking at this.
Jesus, WHAT ARE ALL THOSE WORDS??
So Julia Allison can’t be named a headliner even among this pack of losers?
Oh my, how the irrelevant have fallen…
I’ve heard of Rosemary Gladstar, because she’s an herbalist and I regularly order from a seed company that carries several of her books. Her workshops have titles like “Voices of Our Herbal Elders.” Make of this what you will.
That’s gotta burn, seeing Devin everywhere down there on the posters he modeled for pre-epic break up.
Come for the Goosebumpz, stay for the Cocofunka!
Ew! Starting at 2:22 there’s a dude that looks like the Missouri school coach who abducted & killed that 10-year-old girl yesterday.
And like the late-50-ish-looking dude who’s only 45, give D0nkey 2-3 mores years of this & she’ll be looking a raggedy-ass 50 herself.
Calm Down & Age On, D0nkey.
God dammit. Why do hippies do things?
Thank you for sharing video from an event that I will never, ever wish to go to. Is it me, or are there are two POC at the entire festival?
It was bad enough to be a hippie in the 60s. At least they accomplished shit though. My god. She really honestly found the absolute fucking lamest crown in the entire universe. You couldn’t pay me enough to go there. Wow, a dirt field with bad music and a bunch of losers who smell.
It’s Burning Man for Pig Pen from Peanuts.
what is with the lens on that camera? is this like the half-year substitute for burners who just can’t get enough? everything about that place screams dirty and gross.
I didn’t notice any women with red lipstick and acrylic nails and pink platform shoes and pearls. Donk’s gonna have to work reeeaaaallly hard on an Authenticity Costume for this.
She’d better put her Princess Parking sign on her tent, so everyone sees how special she is.
Wait, what time was this shot?
I was in Montana this summer when there was something called Rainbow Festival near the ranch I was staying at. One of the ranch hands explained it’s like a music festival with no music. I verified that that meant a lot of drugs and no showering for two days and he answered, enthusiastically, yes.
I took a pass, but one of the girls I was friendly with went to check it out and informed me that near the end of the first day some guy told her that he wanted to purify her by drinking her blood. She spent the rest of the weekend in her tent.
“Off I go … Spending my last few days of 32 contemplating life and love, endings and new beginnings in the jungles and beaches of Costa Rica.”
Yeah, they broke up.
Daddy wouldn’t pay for Devin to go so he bounced.
She’s not going to be in the jungle. Her lazy raft ass is going to sit by the pool or probably just inside her stupid hotel room.
She really is always lying about SOMETHING in every single communication she makes. She is totally fucking insane. And I predict it’s about to get muuuuuuuccch worse.
One of the things that really made her snap after Redacted dumped her, was that she always saw herself as better than him. She was the hot one, goddamit! She was the hot SITC character and he was a little nerdy programmer. And then wham, he dumped her.
Well you better BELIEVE this ego demon thought she was above poor Debbie Seltzer, unemployed fake cook. And it’s so clear that he dumped her, so right now she has to be going in.fucking.sane.
Remember the chocolate sheets fauxdeo at Marina del Bray, where she brays that her boyfriend is moving in, and he corrects her that “it’s more of a soft move-in”?
I think the next phase will be younger guy (cubs need love too, tour) to prove to everyone she’s still got and to make Devin jealous. Problem is Devin would be jealous but because he’d want play with her cub.
Yeah younger men won’t want her. Trust. In my vast dating experience (LOL), I’ve dated a lot of younger men. Its’ ‘strange but I have to say a lot of younger men who appreciate older women (i’m talking men in their 20s dating women in their 30s and beyond) are actually really gentlemanly and mature and looking for a person with their shit together as opposed to dating younger 21 year olds. No way she could land a guy like that, because she’s functionally 14 years old. Unless it’s a poor schmuck who she will just abuse.
tell me more, please. Sincere for once, am I. I just got on OKC and I’m talking to a 27-y-o (I am 42.). He seems together enough for me.
And I just ended things with a 27-y-o IRL. I think we liked each other but we had ZERO to say to each other. I think this was cultural but ?!?
oof, pardon my grammatical errors too!
Okay, just so I get to mention my new bf again because I haven’t said it enough clearly. I’m mid 30s he’s late 20s, but I’ve dated younger guys before this too. I think there’s a difference between a guy who dates older because he’s cougar hunting or whatever (but hey sometimes that’s hot too to try once in a while), or a guy who is just honestly really fucking smart and mature for his age and realizes that older women are the shit for numerous reasons (better in bed usually, more comfortable with themselves and their lives, more established, usually have their own places and a career, etc). Most of the guys I’ve dated that were around my age had no desire to go much younger than they were and preferred older actually. I don’t really know why it’s a “thing” but it really is a thing in my experience. Maybe because it takes a certain level of intelligence and maturity to date someone older? Maybe because these are the kinda guys that cannot deal with the antics and hijinks that ensue in the lives of a lot of women in their 20s? I mean think of the psychology of the other way around – men who will only date younger (approx. 80% of men over 35, in other words). Why do they want to do this? Often it is because on some level, they want someone to dominate, they obviously conform to societal notions of what is attractive or “acceptable” dating wise. They don’t wanna settle down so they want to wait til the last minute so no way they will date someone their age, etc. It’s kinda the opposite phenomenon here, younger guys who are like “fuck all that noise.”
Im’ sure I don’t have to tell you teh amount of men on OKC who won’t even put their own age, let alone an older age, for women they would consider dating, on their profile. So I kinda just rebelled against it and was like, fuck you, you are 36 but will only go as low as 32? Fine, I’ll date fucking younger too. And it worked out pretty well sometimes.
But I swear to god, so many of the younger men I went out with or dated were like world’s away in terms of being kind, smart, not assholes than men my age or older. I don’t know if this is just my experience or what. But I would not rule out younger men at all.
WOW THAT WAS LONG
Thank you, not TL at all! Insightful. I’m going to play it out, why not.
and congrats on the new BF!
I am a divorcee around your age, and men ages 28-33 generally go nuts for me because I’ve got my shit together and I don’t pester them about marriage/kids/our future. Older than 33, and they are usually stressed about finding their life partner, so I don’t enjoy it. Younger than 28, and nah.
Agree! My BFF is 48 and dating a guy who’s 30, and he is super chill and a big thinker and loves that she’s wise.
She’s also absolutely gorgeous, which is another advantage she has to A Donkey.
That’s awesome! I always comfort myself by saying hey, if I end up single and childless ultimately…boo fucking hoo. I’ll just date a string of hot younger men. WHAT A SAD LIFE. 🙂
I’m not knocking dating younger guys. The few I have dated were more mature than those around my age. They just usually want kids, and I don’t.
(FWIW I didn’t read it that way at all.)
I don’t want kids either and am pretty sure that’s off the table at this point, but that’s a good point to make. I have a friend who just broke up with someone her age or maybe older about that. She said nay, he said maybe.
Ha. I have the opposite problem. Younger guys don’t always want kids at all, or on my time table. But I think it’s because i scare a lot of people away talking about that shit too soon. Now i’m sorta like more zen about the whole thing.
But guys my age that I go out with rarely want kids either. Fuck. I need to stop dating artists.
Guys, how relieved must Devin’s parents be? They seem like nice folks. I wish them a happy, Donkey-free existence.
So telling that she never mentioned them and only seemed to visit them once in almost two years. You know if they were wealthy and connected she would have been talking about them and visiting them with Debbie all the time.
Didn’t Papa Seltzer straight up call out some of her bullshit? Something about Paris or a glass of wine or something? I forget what it was, but I was def on Team Papa Seltzer after reading it.
She was crowdsourcing for “spiritual” things to do in Paris, and Papa Seltzer drily commented something like, “Just being in Paris, having a picnic in the park, is pretty spiritual.”
He should have told her to stay in her hotel room, watching grifter videos on YouTube.
Gawd, those glasses she and Derpy shared made Donkey look so authorial. I hope she got to keep them in the custody agreement.
Thmart-perthon glatheth ™.
“The glasses we shared.” Perfect image for that former couple.
I’ve now lived in Chicago, DC, NY and LA … but (I think) the Bay area is where I want to put down roots for the rest of my life. I’ll still travel to LA, NY & Chicago often, but I’m looking forward to finally feeling like I have a REAL home.
She made it a big, whopping 5 months. Good job, Donkey.
Her weird fucking obsession with listing shit. NO ONE CARES. remember she used to post her insane travel schedule?
You will never build a home because no one wants one with you. Ditto “roots.”
At least she was able to optimize her brief tenure here by networking important connections during fab events she hosted at the comfy & delightful wookie dungeon, not to mention all of those philanthropic endeavors.
Whatever happened to the personal assistant they were going to “hire” to help them with their busy lives?
It’s a sad story. The assistant climbed into the Happiness RV with the camera crew for Julia’s upcoming “experiments in happiness” TV show and on the way to meet Julia at the art gallery to buy paintings for her apartment, they VANISHED IN THE SAN FRANCISCO FOG!!! Now as you know, this fog is very very famous, even in suburban Chicago, because it’s like a Bermuda Triangle right in the middle of a major American city and isn’t it a shame that just when everything was coming together for Julia, this had to happen? She can’t catch a break!!! Worse yet, it happened on the day she was scheduled to interview Richard Branson, Mark Zuckerberg, and Tina Fey about happiness!!!
So that’s what happened to all the “art” that we didn’t see on the walls of Marina2!
D0nkey’s idea o (f)art is moar mirrors.
The soliciting of slave labor as though it’s this lazy-ass’s birthright is one of the most offensive things about her. Wonder if Debbie felt the same and imagine his working-class parents reading that post.
Cat ladies, Hacker News had a very interesting link to a post about a Tinder vulnerability that allows any Tinder user to find the exact location of another tinder user with a very high degree of accuracy:
i heart you. good work.
Ok ok… My meds have worn off and I’m wide awake wondering what the fuck is next for this pretty princess? Ok I get it some jungle shithole techno hippie fest but then what? March will be SF picking up the pieces? Looking for a roommate? April is the cruelest month… So the poem goes.
Her Stupid Season, Craymas to SXSW, ends soon. It’s always the part of the year where she does nothing but holidays, FW, birthday and Austin. Then there’s the What Now? Time when she runs out of places to run to. Should be good.
Her book deadline should be looming. If the book release date is spring 2015, I’d guess she has six months to finish it. Sound about right? My book had a very short deadline and then got delayed after all the editing, so I don’t really know what is typical.
I re-read the proposal over the weekend and she has a shit-ton more to do, unless the editor corralled her a bit, including ramping up the publicity machine and the fifty million blog articles she plans to write between now and release.
Where is the RV she bragged she bought? Is the happiness tour still on? What about Maylasia, and the adopt-a-granny program?
At any rate, she is screwed.
Six months at the outside.
They are publishing it because of her Documentary Series and her (fake, purchased) social media counts, period. The publisher does not care, and is not under any delusion that consumers will care, what is in the book. If she manages to turn in a books worth of blerg posts, fine. An assistant will ghost-write enough words to fluff it up, they will photograph Jules in a prom dress with blotaed face for cover, probably crying. No one is waiting for her to interview every famous person ever. They will however, be on her about those multi-dozen articles in national publications and celebrity endorsements.
Knowing Jules, she will crash and burn hard, but still manage to surprise us with a few media gets.
Cool thing that you wrote a book, Grifty.
Would love to know how many RBD’ers have had book deals? And roughly, what section of Barnes and Noble would we find your book?
Mine was remaindered six weeks after it hit the shelf. So it’s long gone. Victim of a bad publishing company buyout that changed the distribution strategy and the marketing. Oh well.
I’m sorry that happened to you, Grifty; it must have been disheartening. It’s depressing how much of publishing is still luck, even after you get an OMGBookDeal.
Grifty, I went through something possibly similar, some years ago. I signed a two-book deal, then my editor left THAT DAY. My deadline got moved way up, a legal issue was mishandled (can’t go into detail here) and then my agent went on maternity leave. I got out of doing the 2nd book. It pains me to look at the first book because it was put together so sloppily, with art and design so drastically different than what was promised.
Ugh, all that said, the book did give me a platform that led to a lot of magazine work and speaking gigs.
But, as I’ve confessed here before, the whole process shook me to the core and I haven’t pitched or finished a book since. (Cringing)
And BeepBeep, since you asked, my book is miscategorized!
Thanks, Doc Series, and I am sorry you went through a similar mess. I mentioned it once before that I went through 4 editors and a pub house buyout, and then they sat on the book for 2 years, during which time a competitive title came out with nearly the exact same TOC as my book. I had to fight for every image, as it initially was supposed to be lavishly illustrated, and that changed. Each editor would make verbal commitments that the next one would not honor. It turned me off so badly that I never wrote another one, and thank goodness I only had a contract for one. I got screwed financially by my agent, as well. But hey, I have a book I can hold up and say ‘I did this,’ and I am proud of how it came out after fighting tooth and nail for every freaking detail.
5 books. First 3, still out in hc. Second 2, now out in paper. They are in “Biography” or “Fashion/Style” in B+N. When they first come out, they are on front tables for a few weeks. (Did you know publishers pay extra for that? I did not… ) Or in the window (which is a total trip). My books have been featured in VF, NYT Styles section, People, Larry King, Today Show, etc etc.
My first book was the first book featured in the windows at Bergdorf’s, the entire 57th Street side. They had TV news crews shooting it. I sort of walked among the tourists and people gawking at the windows and nobody knew who I was. It was a blast. (And a bit surreal.)
And then the paperbacks show up in Anthropologie and/or Paperie, which is sort of goofy and fun. Russian rights were just sold for my first two books (which is kind of wild). I have editions of my books in languages that I can’t even read (China? Korean?) Having said all this, I am SO looking forward to Donk’s book. If she has a reading in NYC…. I am SO GOING!
AS D0NKEY WOULD BRAY: I’m pretty sure that I just sort of nailed exactly who you are.
And I am visiting!!!
Yikes. Now, I’m a bit scared… (!) xoxoox
1) I see you!
2) I’m a fangirl.
3) If I were Donkey and you commented on my snark site I WOULD DIE.
Moar clues please! I’m so close….
Whoa! Nice going! Sounds wonderful, congratulations!
No way, I think I said quite enough… (!) Also, @NoJobs — you MUST visit, would be a total blast. I’m on twitter, if anyone feels like finding me. xo
Well, now I want to know!
I promise Bunsy! There is light at the end of a very long tunnel-I can’t wait! XO
Oh, I see. Good stuff!
Could I be so brazen to ask all of you who’ve actually seen publishers and editors in the flesh, for tips for the first meeting?
I have one of those next week…
You’re a bigger narcissist than Donkey, Bunsy. Can you hear yourself? On no, you can’t hear yourelf because you never stop talking about yourself.
Bunsy is the kind of person you avoid at parties, that kind of person who in 2014 is still talking about something they did in 2000.
Hey now!! Uncalled for!
i did a lot of trade writing back in the day, contract, topic, crank it out
the intro was from a friend of a friend; i had done communications for years and i can string words together in subject verb order and sentences of 10-15 words at the appropriate reading level.
not glamorous but it was extra money while i was junior in my career and was looking for cash on the side
HP, Bunsy has been nothing but kind and helpful to a total stranger (me) given me great advice and really helped me and encouraged me. I’m really grateful to this page and to her. Acting that way just makes people nervous to help others in the future.
@HeyPam — I almost did not say anything, but I sort of wanted to send a message to Donk that — we know our stuff! I also had a tough few weeks – one of my best friends died at the age of 41…three children under the age of 7. Lots of time at the funeral home and funeral (heartbreaking). So I guess I just wanted to entertain people and cheer myself up.
And no, I’m not like those Harvard guys who talk about HC 40 years later. If it were not for the anon of www, I wouldn’t say a word, believe me. If we ever met in person, I sure as hell would nevah… So, sorry if taken wrong way.
Me, although I’m shelved in the poetry section, which means all of the book deal paperwork with none of the money (lols).
Although I will take this moment to brag shamelessly because I still can’t quite believe it’s happening: I spent most of last year tooling around with a novel, sent it off to two agents before I went home for Christmas, had offers from both of them by New Year’s. I’ve still got a fair amount of editing work to do before it’s ready to go out anywhere, but still FUCKING AGENT!! and I really love the one I went with; she’s given me some really great suggestions on how to improve and just completely gets what I’m trying to do.
art for art’s sake money for god’s sake
Fantastic. Keep us posted. Will def buy your book.
I knew we had some real writers in this group! That’s awesome!
You haters have been cracking me up over the last few days. I’m giddy! Bring on Birthcray 🙂
On the treadmill this morning i listened to the Lovumentary episode interview of Devin and Julia where they lecture the masses about how to vibrationally congruent. Please…..treat yourself. It is so deliciously insane.
They meant it (contractually) at the time!
She just loves to talk about herself and act like she has something important to say, and she just goes on and on and on and on saying nothing.
Base model Devin 4eva!
I don’t see Bear Kittay wanting to hook up with a Donkey, even if he didn’t already have a tiny ‘n’ cute of his own. I do think that this is who told her about the event, though, and I suspect he was there back in January as well.
Bear Kittay w/ Cute & Tiny on a Costa Rican beach:
Beached D0nkey trying to horn in on that chit:
Does this spell something?
Jp you made me snort salad dressing.
Is she the bright white one with the flat chest?
‘Jp you made me snort salad dressing’
I almost choked on my Caramel Cone ice cream.
omg Dr. Gary. I’ve never been an ice cream person but I’m in love with Caramel Cone. Thanks for reminding me of it. Time for a few vats.
my god, even when she’s upside down, the softballs in her calves are so freaking prominent. her calves are literally twice the size of the calves of the guy next to her. seriously, how does that happen?
I know, right?
Also? Still bow legged.
I see they’ve arranged for a “gorgeous villa.” I guess rich faux hippies don’t camp.
Fuck her and OMG GORGEOUS VACAY SPOT, SUCK IT HATERS bragging. Italy has villas; Costa Rica has fincas. You would think she would know this…Oh, right.
It was actually Kitteh who posted it, but same thing.
Wonder if Donkey arranged a stall at the Chez Kittay villa? She doesn’t come across as the camping type.
2+ months since Julie tweeted a twat on Twitter.
All 195,000 followers are getting annoyed…
“I’m a journalist!!” She says.
I heard that as “I’m a thuper therious journalith!”
Hahaha – Facebook – her Costa Rica post – Libby Payne – “We’re waiting for you with open arms!” – *likes* – Devin Stetler. LOL!!! PARTY AT DEVIN’S PAD!
Watch D0nkey be lurking in San Fran still,
just wtg to catch Derpin blistering his nuts.
DERP’S SOUS CHEF-IN-TRAINING:
SOUP OF THE DAY:
Cream of Sum-Yung-Guy
I broke up with my gf today. I feel like Devin must feel.
Free? Liberated? Relieved and happy? Like you managed to escape prison after a wrongful conviction?
So who do you think got to keep the silver Lamé shortie shorts?
If she owns a mirror, then he did. On the other hand, if she owned a mirror, and actually consulted it, we probably wouldn’t be here.
But she has LOT’S of mirrors!
Oh wait; she’s “Legally Blind” …
“…and actually consulted it…”
the panties we shared…
Silver shorts are the new McCain belt
And what a sad emblem they are.
Honestly I feel bad or Debbie – I know what it’s like. I have been with some women who I could not keep up with. One because she had a rich father (like donkey) but also some admittedly gorgeous women who were simply playing the field… Or halfway playing the field… Weighing options – a weekend trip to Vegas, a dinner at. A nice restaurant. A better whatever. It’s emasculating and very disgusting. When your “partner” is never there when it counts – is always on some trip somewhere – you get burned out. They aren’t a partner. You are the convenient fallback position.
They were two parastic peas in a pod.
@NJbyB — can you email me? Something fun happened, wanted to tell you about it. Can’t find your email… xo
Yabbut, when we were first meeting Debbie and he was doing his crab boil thing, I remember thinking/posting that at least he was *doing* something. He arranged the crab boil thing, signed people up, did all the prep work, hosted it, and people had a good time. Compare that to Donk, who never does anything for other people. He took some initiative to meet people by planning an event. Donk is a taker, not a giver. I think he is the stronger person, as far as I can tell.
He’ll be okay. If I had to bet, I would say he’ll be back to full-time web design or dev by the end of the year. He was a productive member of society before he met her.
I dunno… He’s making sometimes $4500 a month on his place by Air Bnbing it – also takes a $55 cleaning fee, even if you stay one night. I don’t think guy is too much into working.
Without Donkey’ advance/her dad’s support, how long could he keep two places? He’ll either have to go back to the Sexy Downtown Loft or get rid of it at some point.
Well, though, he probably doesn’t rent it out at 100% occupancy each month, maybe half that if he is lucky, and the cleaning fee goes all to the cleaning person between guests. He also has his travel back and forth when he chooses to stay there. I am in this biz now so that’s how it works. Don’t forget he probably pays 1800-2K per month rent there plus utilities and cable/Internet, plus whatever he pays in SF. I suspect he is just squeaking by if he is not moonlighting with coding jobs. I doubt he is getting much omg healing “chef” work yet.
My point was what I believed is his relaxed desire to work which he probably got from a Donkey. I believe you’re right, that he is just squeaking by — and I’m guessing that kind of financial pressure VS, a Donkey telling him he’d have his own TV show right now — is why he broke up with her.
That said, check out his calendar – he only has a few days a month open the next few months.
Eek! If I were him I would be terrified about having to couch surf for months while my place was rented out. But I also wouldn’t let strangers rent my bed, so clearly, my mileage varies.
He has only a few days open because maybe he is staying there himself? We don’t know.
He’ll also be engaged to someone sane, which will be hilarious.
I’m sorry you didn’t get your wedding, Jacy, but I think this break-up/down can still bring the lulz.
I’m heartbroken we did not get a wedding. I could already picture the grifter set at the University Club. Dadsers face as Anniewalked around naked. Brother Brit and his wife and child looking on in horror as she and Devon OM’ed in lieu of a first dance…. It would have been fantastic.
OMG, MOM, you promise!
99 percent of people on the planet are better people so that’s faint praise
I totally agree. Debbie is a giver and he, like me, gave far too much to te wrong person. He’s actually impo a dorky albeit- possibly-closeted regular dude.
live and learn love and light
if it sounds too good to be true it is
I just wanted to thank you for the 10cc vid upthread. That song gets quoted a lot chez Bray. And I love 10cc.
I totally agree. Debbie is a giver and he gave far too much to te wrong person. He’s actually impo a dorky regular dude in a fycked up world
Derwood? Is that you? If so, welcome! We embrace you with softness!!!
I’m not Derwood, Jacy. Just another troll. I love your work.
Jacy, just want to let you know I made a video for my boss and she was all — stunned silence drops phone. THANK YOU!
Anybody else you an extraordinary websites to make fun things? Any tips, tricks? (see what I did there) I would love to look as favorable with my boss as I did today!
I’ve used some Apple iMovie templates to make some really cool videos, and they were super easy. People couldn’t believe I did it myself (and neither could I).
Thank you kindly.
I know this is kinda late to the game, but I just hafta say that Jacy, this was AMAZING!
So many lulz, thank you!
Hey, C-Bunz! How’ve you been?
I’m doing well, still kicking cancer’s ass. I got into that genetic study I wanted, and I’ve been watching a lot of olympics on the intertubes. Life’s been fairly low-drama lately, which is lovely. I haven’t barfed in almost 3 weeks, so yanno, I’ve got that to celebrate.
(And, I know this is kinda macabre, but BF has instructions to come here and update if I should suddenly take a turn for the worse or die or whatever. So you all won’t be left totally in the dark, tho I fully intend to stick around forever.)
yo catladies. i havent posted in uh a year. im the catlady with the dog who bit my face and whose roof blew away during superstorm sandy.
every day i pray to beyonce that my now one year old daughter will not grow up to be like donk. no ballet, no spoiling with material objects (just love, duh), pretty pretty pink dresses kept to a minimum.
ANYWAY, i still lurk and i still love every one of you.
aaaw little girls love ballet there’s no harm in it. mine does it and it’s indoors, which beats hell out of soccer — no standing in the rain
Your kid, your rules – but there really is more to dance than pink and tutus.
I took up ballet as a very uncoordinated adult. If I had learned more about movement as a child, I probably would have been a happier teenager. Don’t let Donkey spoil a beautiful form of expression and healthy exercise with her braying.
Co-sign re: ballet; it can be a strict discipline if pro pursuits are an idea or goal, otherwise it’s often enough another fun (and movement/body awareness encouraging and supporting) activity for the kids and anyone else who just likes it. It’s one that donk can’t stop mentioning because it implies grace, elegance, capability for discipline and – particularly in her case – monied-ness. She wants to claim ability or excellence to many activities purported to be limited to the wealthy: ballet, horseback riding, tennis, for example.
exactly. my little dancer works harder at ballet than at anything. will she be a professional? nope. but it’s keeping her fit and strong and focused. it’s also leverage — do your homework or no recital.
OK, how to embed a video in the comment?
PS this is amazing the fun the grifting the love and light
The Onion perfectly captures the Julia Allison & Devin Stetler Love Saga:
We must have a Great Catlady working on the inside.
Do we have any birdie tweets about the breakup or the SF apt. situation? As Donkey moves more and more in her hippie grifter circles, it seems we are becoming devoid of intel.
Haven’t seen donks in the neighborhood lately, she’s out at weird times during the day and I don’t think Devin can afford to do much in town. They seem like home bodies when not being grifty creeps.
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