UPDATE AGAIN: Misty Water-Colored Memories …….

UPDATE: Now with better video!

 

 

UPDATE: “Hey, baby, I honor you and our sweet, sexy, vibrationally congruent love this Valentine’s Day by cruising other ass on Tinder.”

 

puking

“Hey, baby, I thank you for giving into my shrieking Valentine’s Day demands to tell the world how awesome and precious I am while dumping my ass for other ass that you’re cruising for on Tinder.”

ordersobeyed

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238 Responses to UPDATE AGAIN: Misty Water-Colored Memories …….

  1. Cluck You Birthday Chicken says:

    Wow, not that he was particularly attractive, but his looks have really gone downhill.

  2. Bitch Be Cray says:

    Hi, Julia!!!!!!

  3. Nosferatu-tu says:

    Hilare-balls. Just hysterical. Greg, I love this site/cite/sight!

    • debatable dating worms says:

      That video may just be the most delightfully evil thing I have seen in my whole, entire life.

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    OMGreg! I LOL’d, cats scattered, & then I watched it again x2.
    Pimphats off to whomever compiled that steaming pile of BM.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I did but I wanted it to be better. Some of the png files wouldn’t download, and there were some classics. Will try to perfect later.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        If I understand right & you’re going to modify it, Ima try to find one fauxto in particular that you might want to use. Check your email later, if convenient, eh?

  5. Lets go donkers says:

    Who the hell is the pretty pony dude???

  6. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    Please please use the one of Donkey and Debbie in the hammock at Burning Man where it looks like Debbie’s legs are Donkey’s.

    And OMG, he looks like he’s aged 15 years in 2. Must be rough riding a donkey.

  7. for serious?? says:

    no longer in a relationship on FB. Sad times….

    When did this happen?

    Oh, pobre burrito.

  8. The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

    Oh shit.. Julia is gonna pirouette off her roof top when she sees this 😮

  9. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester says:

    Wait, did they really break up?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      It has been an honor …
      Not “it IS an honor” …
      Nah, he’s not honor / on her* anymore — the has-been has been had

      (*Hai, MareMare!)

  10. Albie Quirky says:

    OMG OMG OMG

    Oscar!

  11. JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

    that picture of her in her stupid american costume in front of the door of la catedral de sevilla gives me fucking brayges.

    this is why we are hated in the rest of the world. get the fuck away from teh cultural relics you asshats.

    Also did they break up? running so many desk errands…so behind.

  12. Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

    The brony. I’m dying.

  13. Bunsy says:

    Jesus wept.

  14. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    I am here, even if your mind tells you I am not.

    I am here, even if my running screaming into the night tells you I am not.
    I am here, even if having my mail forwarded elsewhere tells you I am not.

  15. Tingolayo says:

    So mental. Who the fuck plays this stuff out on Facebook? These grifters are so self-congratulatory with how they think they’re making the world a better place.

    • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

      And why the obsession with breathing? Notice that everybody in Julie and Derwood’s grifter circle is always pausing to breathe and savor the bliss of their vulvic moments of congruent happiness that no one else but them has ever experienced in the history of the universe? And for just $3,000 they’d be happy to teach you how to inhale and exhale oxygen while healing all your hurts with a side of blistered brussel sprouts.

      Speak fucking English. Or French. Or Spanish.

    • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

      he only did it because she threatened him. As usual seh has to save face. I JUST GOT DUMPED BUT HE STILL THINKS I AM AWESOME.

      also LOL!

  16. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    [img]http://s10.postimg.org/41xl7s4ex/you_dont_know_jack_2.png[/img]
    Who whore it better?

  17. LetItExplose says:

    “I’m here, even if your mind tells you I am not.”

    The fuck?

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      “I love you and part of my purpose in life is to support you with yours.”

      Huh?

      • Hemmingway, Wolf and Bleeker says:

        “I hate you. I can’t stand your selfishness for one more second. I find your appearance deeply repulsive. Your cackling laughter gives me heartburn.

        But if you need me to appear as a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend-who-remained-a-friend for commercial purposes, I would like to remind you I have no dignity and I will do anything, no matter how low, to further my career as cook.”

  18. Let's go Donkers! says:

    I do believe they have broken up. That’s what it sounds like to me. Also, what the fuck is wrong with these people?

  19. bitchface says:

    Is if Julia is jealous? Or has she evolved beyond pretty princess pink over the top birthday parties? http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/paris-hilton-celebrates-birthday-with-lavish-party-28213.gallery

  20. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    So these Facebook messages must just be for friends only and not friends of friends.

    Debbie is letting her down early for fear she’ll boil the bunny if he doesn’t.

  21. JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

    BWAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA. THE GREATEST LOVE AFFAIR OF ALL TIME THAT ISN’T ANYMORE.

    Jesus I had a breakup not too too long ago and if we both did this…christ we would never do this. SAVE IT FOR PRIVATE. my god. I’ve written various teary emails like this to my ex, whom I still love because that shit doesn’t go away overnight…and Jesus I would be SO EMBARRASSED to make it public…and you know, we are both NORMAL and would never do this. I can’t even go on more and talk about how much this is creepy and fucked up.

    And the language, my god. I’m almost tempted to post a few lines of my emails to show them how it’s done. this is clearly bullshit and you KNOW he made him do this…my god. She is a lunatic. At least he’s free. The short thing she wrote to him because she’s a lazy fuck proves that she does NOT give a shit and is totes angry at him.

    • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

      There is nothing more private than writing to someone you truly love about how you know you have to move on but will always keep them in your heart bla bla. Like my god. I just can’t.

      God it’s like no matter how low she goes, it’s never the rock bottom. Ditto posting so much about how ZOMG IN LOVE she was…when she eventually has to backtrack and look like a fucking moron. That’s why you keep your relationshit mostly PRIVATE And that is wtf I am doing right now on FB with the new guy I am seeing who is wonderful and fuck…I would never do this. Jesus.

    • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

      I know I just overshared but WHO DOES THIS. WHO DOES THIS. WHO DOES THIS.

      you either just…let it go on FB and your friends will realize why…or you fucking post something simple like, we broke up adn I’m sad but I’ll be okay. Jesus Christ! Or you change your goddamn status update and hide it and no one will give a shit! Yeah she’s really gonna “change the world.” By what, making everyone around her miserable?

      Now I’m just Lol’ing about how lame these people are. lalala, elsberg, his stupid ass wife who always wears leotard pants…all of them.

      • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

        Again my point was not about me or my sob story, my point was, WHO DOES THIS. Again,

        WHO DOES THIS.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          I love you.

          • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

            Back at you! I hope like, my replying to myself constantly does not signal a mental problem?

            🙂 <3 I love you all! It's true. You have all opened my heart and mind and I know you will all go forth and change the world in actual ways not like stupid bitches and fake healing chefs. The times we have spent together have been truly memorable and you are all goddesses except in our cases it is real and not the ramblings of two lame-inators.

            BFFL's. TTYL's. 2Good 2Be = 4Gotten.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            Handbag!

            Birthcray is truly the most magical time of year. It brings all the Cat Ladies home.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I love both of you. Mystical goddess 3some? My chakras yearn towards yours.

    • Bunsy says:

      I am SO with you on this. I read it and thought: wait — this is on fb? Man, if some guy I just broke up with posted crap like this on fb… insane. Do any of these people do anything in private? Truly strange. I am SO with you. I guess fb is okay if you’re in college, or like, 14. But a 30-something year old woman?

      When I break up with a guy (or once — vice versa), I write an actual letter. Typed, on really great stationary, so he can be very clear about what I am saying. And believe me, I can write a gorgeous gorgeous damn letter. And then I let it go, and don’t talk to the guy for, like, a dozen years. He’s not hanging around “we’re friends, you are so wonderful” posting crap on fb.

      I also go off fb about a year ago. It was just getting on my nerves, and I didn’t like the way they “own” everything you write/post. All my friends seemed to have 4 towheaded children, and they were always jetting off to places like South Africa in a private jet, and I was just like: I can’t.

      Now, I am just on twitter. I wish I could (somehow) give you my twit, so we could follow one another. (I am sorry for your recent breakup — they can be tough… but on the other hand, if you want an interesting face, you have to live an interesting life.)

      • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

        Search this space tomorrow…I know I have an email account associated with JFA, but I’m having insomnia right now and I”m too lazy to figure it out (my PW etc)…I would love to see your twitter!

        Breakups are the worst. Ugh. I love your handwritten letter idea. And I feel you. I can’t see/talk to the person either, usually. Too painful. But yes, this whole thing is just mortifying. I don’t understand how these are humans.

  22. Nickelodeon Chic says:

    What did I just read? I’ve re-read Devin’s post like eight times and I am still feeling like a Reading Comprehension Failure, even though I know it’s probably not my fault.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Run it through the Grifty FuckUp filter with the opacity slider set to “thick as two short planks” and it should become clearer.

      Related: Not even kidding, Donkey, a couple of community college night courses in communications would go a long way toward making your verbal shit comprehensible. Your mental shit will always be a primordial ooze of failure, desperation and grift.

    • Bunsy says:

      Zoolander-esque.

  23. The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

    Hey guys.. Click the play button at http://sadviolin.com, and then read Devin and Julia’s missives up top :p

  24. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    I still can’t believe how much his face has aged since he met her. It’s shocking.

    • Ego Demon Pearskank says:

      Being in the final throes of a relationship with a fellow ego demon, it doesn’t surprise me at all. These people suck the life out of their significant others.

  25. Worrisome Pelts says:

    I’m actually not convinced they have broken up. For once, Donkey has found a mark as dumb, grifty and greedy as she is. Unlike her other “partners,” Devin *wants* his seat on the crazy train. Him breaking up with her would be an embarrassment to the Lalalalalas et al. and likely leave him on the outside looking in for any future circle jerks.

    Also, I don’t think there was ever a real relationship to break up. These people are just using each other; I think they will continue to do so until something better comes along. Unless he has actually met someone with more money and less common sense then Julia, the leech is not letting go.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Those FB messages are past-tense cheesy farewell messages.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Dated February 14th, no less.
        Hilareballz.
        #StuntDonkentinesDayMassacre

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        I’m sure you’re right, but they are such terrible writers that the more they say, the less meaning their words have. A normal person would never phrase things that way, but a normal person would never post any of that in the first place.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Where are these posted? I don’t see anything on her fb.

    • LickedRandisCake says:

      Im not convinced either but, if so, he did that shit on Valentines Day? Ouch.

      I actually dont think the lalalas would consider it a failure. In their world, they can spin any love as good love, even bad love. A growth experience. A necessary journey. Grifters always have an answer for every question, a postive spin for every eventuality. Thats how their bread is buttered.

  26. Ego Demon Pearskank says:

    Wait. What? I don’t follow. But then again, who does.
    Also, D’s word salad gives me a headache.

    Anyway, you brought tears of laughter to my eyes, Jacy. Thanks for that!!!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      It’s a healing word salad, with a piquantly grifty dressing of bullshit and butyl nitrate.

      • Ego Demon Pearskank says:

        Oh, the vibrationally congruent giggles this comment caused me. From now on I’ll always think of D’s attempts to communicate through random word strings whenever I drive through an area of freshly manured fields.

  27. The Marina, hell Bray (FTA This one is a no boner) says:

    This is the funniest (saddest?) shit I’ve ever laid my hardened eyes on! I guess this means they are remaining ‘friends’ and this was forced upon Debbie to save face for JA. Read: Easier to say something kind and slowly back away.

    And a FB post alert rather than a PRESS RELEASE about The Home They Shared? SMH.

    • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

      Ahem, “homes” they shared. In DTLA, where a punch in the face is like a tap on the back, to the horribly furnished OMG! SF marina apartment where the greatest con job the world has ever known came to a bittersweet conclusion.

      How will we all go on?

  28. JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

    Great Man. Capitalized. LOL!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I noticed that. What a freak.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Legalese, bunnies! Smellsberg is running a Great Man certification program! Attend a naked info session at your convenience!

      • Low Valleys Grifter says:

        i doth laugh at that comment

        so insane

        are they on drugs? all this nonsense only is possible with $, otherwise the vacuity would implode the nebluae, and yet might

      • Cluck You Birthday Chicken says:

        Goddamn it, I love it when he’s called Smellsberg

    • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

      Well, he is lean and tall like Great Man Abraham Lincoln, although I wouldn’t exactly call him honest.

    • The Marina, hell Bray (FTA This one is a no boner) says:

      If my huscat were to ever acknowledge me by my own name I’d be thrown for a loop. I’m sure he says my name to other people when I’m not around, but we call each other ‘baby’ in person and even written. If he were to say ‘You will always be the love of my life, The Marina, hell Bray’, I’d have to ask him who the fuck he’s talking to. The ‘proud to be your partner, Devin’ is Just. So. Off. Not at all the way intimate couples communicate. Relationshit expert!

      • Freeloading Musketeers says:

        hah yeah my huscat always gets weirded out when I refer to him by his name, and vice-versa. It’s usually an indication we are mad or annoyed with the other one.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          So much this.

          We never use each other’s actual names. Not when talking to each other, on a card, text message, etc.

          Like you both said, it would be weird for him to call me by name.

          These freaks have broken up and she demanded he post this stupid grifter-speak crap.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        My husband is usually called by his first initial, so I actually call him by his first name when we are alone or in emails as a term of endearment. When anyone other than me calls him by his first name, like someone calling him on the phone, the only thing he knows for sure is that they are not a friend or colleague.

        tl;dr: They sound awkward because they are awkward, not because there is only one way to address your partner.

      • Aggressively Stupid says:

        Well, you have to refer to people by name on facebook or else no one will know who you’re talking about and it won’t link to their account and show up on all their friends’ feeds, and what’s the point of having a deep, meaningful relationship if the whole gregdamn world doesn’t know about it?
        Don’t who know anything about relationships at all?!?

    • Bunsy says:

      Great men. Robert Moses, Averill Harriman, Jonas Salk, Derpin.

      Like that.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester says:

      Oh, fuck them. I hate them. And I am only 18 seconds in.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      Really, JP? I love this song, and I think the video (which I discovered here on RBD) is really brilliant.

      • Dances with Hooves says:

        Yeah I realized afterwards that I posted it before, but I was still drinking at the time, so it doesn’t count 😉 Someone liked it, it must have been you.

  29. Low Valleys Grifter says:

    never fear:

    from book the face:
    Jc Cunningham “I also have a wild crush on this man.”
    hhmhmhm

  30. It floats! It floats! says:

    Well, I will be curious to see who gets to keep the grifter crowd and who must tuck tail and slink away. I’m thinking Julia keeps the friends because she has the book deal.

  31. Worrisome Pelts says:

    What a shame! They looked so cute together that Halloween they chased Leven and TK around LA.

    [img]http://i61.tinypic.com/j5xh7p.jpg[/img]

  32. mandy says:

    so, have they ended the greatest love ever? please fill a confused lady in?

  33. Hemmingway, Wolf and Bleeker says:

    How long is the list of the men ” she will always love”?

  34. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    What’s the plan now, Julia? Guess it’s time to update that checklist again.

  35. Fashion Girl says:

    That video just made me happy-cry and snort at the same time. Happy Valentine’s Day, you crazy bitches. May your lives forever be filled with high-status markers.

  36. chorus line grammarian says:

    waiting for the other hoof to drop

  37. ShesJustStupid says:

    This is awesome. Can’t wait to see what happens to that SF love nest. Will she just get a bunch of roommates or sublet the whole thing? Lol.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      If there is a way to stick Derpin with the financial fallout, she will find it. Lolyers are inevitable!

      It would not shock me if she got some of her grifter buddies to move in in an attempt to sell a new reality show based on the OMG Most Free and Enlightened House in SF. (Yes, I KNOW, but she has no idea.)

    • Tingolayo says:

      I wonder who’s on the lease– Donk? Deb? Dad$ers?

  38. That was two snaps in a circle kinda brilliant. Bets on how many times she’s watched it crying into her pre-paid wedding dress?

  39. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester says:

    I’m still confused. Did they really, truly, genuinely break-up?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Depends. Were they really, truly, genuinely ever a couple?

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      The consensus seems to be that Debbie shaved his beard. I can’t tell because my Little Orphan Asshole decoder ring is busted (like her face).

    • mandy says:

      I have the same question.

    • Ineffably Adverbial says:

      Me too.

      Brayella makes an excellent point, though.

      I guess all we can do is ask for what we need (answers, plain English, some actual semblance of real human emotion).
      And perhaps lean. Lean in to love. To breathing. To contracted face-saving relationships revealing the Goddess within. Love and light. (Hey, writing nonsense is easy!)

      Namaste, burro. Namaste.

    • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

      I don’t understand why those posts don’t seem to point to a breakup?

      THE WORLD’S GREATEST LOVE OF ALL TIME HAS ENDED. I KNOW IT’S HARD TO ACCEPT PEOPLE BUT LET’S ALL COME TOGETHER FOR EACH OTHER. AND MAYBE MASSAGE EACH OTHER’S CLITS.

      • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

        He left the door open. They will remain friends.

        Didn’t she just say on the radio 4 days ago that he was open to marriage?

        I’m honestly happy for him. He’s a gigantic tool and a moron, but he doesn’t deserve a sociopath for a gf. Fly away, Derpin bird. Fly fly away. You are free. Go forth.

      • Hemmingway, Wolf and Bleeker says:

        To the asrham!!!!!!!!

        • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

          “I cried…I called every one of my girlfriends…I cried some more. I called HIM, I cried some more.” That post when she broke up with Jack. So maudlin.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      Donkey speaketh in path tenth.

      I’m gonna go with dunzo. I mean, duntho.

    • No Jobs by Bravo! says:

      Deductive reasoning says so, or I’m just an asshole who wishes it true. Yep the second.

  40. JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

    EVERY TIME a new picture came up on that video I laughed so hard. I am kinda depressed today so. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Jacy, you are always my hero. I love you forever.

    So um…Can that be added to the page somewhere as a permanent link? Or I will save it to bookmarks because, if I can’t look at that every fucking day life is not worth living.

    You are all goddesses. I will always love you, all of you. You are Great Women (and Men).

    • Tingolayo says:

      My favorite is the Easter Island head with part of Donk’s back hoof to the side.

      • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

        Too many to choose from…way too many. I think derpin in an s & m mask and silver lame hot shorts dancing with an erection is the best one and most disturbing. Or the one where he is doing some sort of sexy dance with O face wearing his chef costume during that stupid amber rae shillster event.

  41. JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

    So that was a really good idea to rent a $4,000 apartment months ago when the writing must have been on the wall that they were not going to make it.

    I very, very highly doubt he signed that lease. How they even signed it with NO PROOF OF INCOME I cannot understand. I just cannot understand. WTF??? Who rents a $4000 apartment without a fucking job??? Is she a goddamn Hilton? She prob banked on Derpin making half the rent with his apartment air bnb’d and they’d air bnd this place out too. LOL! That worked out well.

    Good job Derpin for keeping the man pad in LA. he moves back there in 3..2…1…

    • Hemmingway, Wolf and Bleeker says:

      Dadsers was probably the guarantor and he will on the hook for the rest of the lease while Debbie goes back to the feces OMG sexy loft.

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      She probably used her book contract as proof of income. That and a guarantor (Hi, Peter!) will get you into a $4,000 a month apartment that you can’t afford after two.

      • جوليا أليسون هو العضو التناسلي النسوي (from the LOLfirm of Chesly, Manly, Bottomy, and Gorham) says:

        Lovvvvvve watching Dadsers set his cash on fire. Fucking LOVE IT.

  42. Dawn Kiebals: Heeling Kook ❤ Devin Stetler: Healing Cook says:

    But… but…. WHO WILL RIDE IN THE RV WITH HER HAVING “ROM-COM” LIKE HAPPINESS ADVENTURES ACROSS THE USA???!?!?!?!? There’s no way in H-E- Double Braised Asparagus spears Donkey is gonna get in that RV solo…

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/ew5iJsV.jpg[/img]

    That’s it… the trip is off! The book is on hold until her tender heart heals! DAMN YOU DEBBIE!!!

    • Tingolayo says:

      Looks like the guy at the left us wearing a [healing] chef’s jacket.

    • Aggressively Stupid says:

      She’ll get her “sisters” to do it with her! Mostly of them would happily accept a free ride to Circle K, let alone cross country. It will be just like Crossroads, expect with older much less attractive women who spend all their time discussing how to find happiness through their vulvas.

  43. BunnyBingo says:

    So, they tried an open relationship and it failed? That’s what I’m getting from this FB garbage.
    Awesome video. Julie will have it on replay for days.

  44. LickedRandisCake says:

    So, does this mean the 20 different marriage ceremonies thing is off?

    Le Sigh.

  45. BunnyBingo says:

    So what will Julia’s next personality be? I feel the Burning Man Free Love junkie was very Derpin specific.
    Plumping for a return to the Bree Van de Kamp / Pancakes era

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      It will be the same as always: whatever her next boyfriend is about.

    • Hemmingway, Wolf and Bleeker says:

      Travelling pointlessly around the country while pretending to be something she is not.

      Oh, wait…..

    • SURROUNDED BY BOOKS BECAUSE I AM AN AUTHOR WITH BOOKS says:

      Next personality? It’ll be the same one we’ve been seeing for years…narcissistic lazy asshole rage demon.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        The inner rage is percolating just beneath the surface, right? What else was that Valentine’s Day screed and that post about what makes a great relationship other than a YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE DERPIN DON’T YOU DARE THINK ABOUT BAILING IT IS FUCKING VALENTINE’S DAY AND I NEED TO CONTINUE TO CONVINCE PEOPLE WE HAVE THE GREATEST LOVE EVER KNOW YOU USELESS FUCKING LINE COOK I AM WRITING A FUCKING HAPPINESS BOOK YOU DICK SO YOU WILL STAY AND YOU WILL ADORE ME AND SHOWER ME IN VALENTINE’S DAY LOVE BECAUSE I AM AWESOME AND YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE SOMEONE AS HOT AND SMART AS ME YOU FUCKING LOSER.

        His V-Day message is actually pretty brilliant, right? As stupid as he is, he has realized that it’s best to back out gently and slowly, praising her publicly as a special snowflake whom he’ll always love and be watching out for — FROM AFAR — and lying boldly by saying she is going to change this world for the better, people!! The only thing he forgot to emphasize is how hot and sexy she is; he’s probably hearing about it via endless sobbing texts as we speak. But other than that, it was a pretty cunning strategy to disarm her with public praise.

        Well-played, Derwood!

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          She HAS changed the world for the better, just not the way she envisioned. Many of us have made some awesome, real friends via RBD.

          Keep on being a derptastic shill, Donkey!

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

      Well, let’s look at this logistically:

      1) I think she’s financially invested with the “Feelies” (my term for the new age hippies) for a while (Costa Rica, the dirty spa, clit club, and probably 2014 Burning Man).

      2) This Happiness book is based on her new life as a “Feelie” essentially (given the travel locations and LaLa’s presence).

      3) She isn’t the ashram type. Running water and curling irons are still too important to her. She still wants to live in San Francisco.

      Ergo: She wants to be an author who has “book deals” with a internet entrepreneur husband. They would both live in San Francisco and have a dream catcher in their window. THE END & HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

      • Ego Demon Pearskank says:

        I agree, except its never going to happen.
        Having said that, I’m surprised she hasn’t come to the defence if the widely loathed google and Apple coaches yet. Or maybe she’s been unceremoniously booted off after trying to hitch a ride on one of them in her quest for a wallet in tech.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        What she wants and what she is capable of getting and holding onto are different things. She’s wanted a tech wallet since her Kevin Rose/RVV chasing days at the very least. The closest she ever came to one that inexplicably liked her was C. Forman. The tech wallets in SF know that they can pick up a younger, smarter, hotter girlfriend than Donk any day of the week. She squandered her years of semi-attractiveness; now the Feelies are the best she can do.

  46. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot says:

    She wrote that exit note for him.

  47. JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

    Imma just leave this here, from the last thread. I’m watching it on silent at work again and it’s just…the gift that keeps on giving. This is one of the most insane, self-indulgent, hilariously misguided things I’ve ever seen (so is her wedding dress).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr6er5l6Fk8

    • burro butt says:

      Ugh she totally grew up in a naked house

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester says:

      WHY IS SHE EYE-FUCKING HER FATHER?!?!??!?!

      • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

        Because Mulia Mallison isn’t the only grifter with serious daddy issues. Please excuse me while I go bleach my eyes.

      • Snow says:

        Seriously, I keep thinking they’re about to make out

    • D says:

      I’m not one to usually snark on people’s weddings. Especially if it looks like they didn’t have a big budget and couldn’t really go “all out.” Plus, wedding culture and focusing on the pretty pretty party instead of the marriage, but seriously, they look like they are in a H.S. gym. I just expected so much more from two grifters. Seriously, I want a spectacle! I mean, this is a spectacle, but I expected something that looked a little more…grifted. Even Julia has the OMG University Club!

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker says:

        The whooshing sound in the background is Nina Simone spinning in her grave.

      • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

        It totally does look like a horrid venue. Like a gymnastics venue and they moved the gym mats away or something.

        I wish I knew how to screenshot and I don’t feel like learning now. Some of her moves are just too good.

  48. Meet my boyfriend on Tindr! says:

    I actually agree with JP; it’s not clear to me as to whether or not they’ve broken up. For all we know, this could have been some sort of Valentine’s Day assignment from their herp derp cult: “Write up a Facebook obituary of your current relationship so you learn to love with more INTENTION!.”

    The feedback from their cult leader would be amazing:

    “Devin, you seem to have misunderstood the assignment again. This is not a word jumble. Why do you always assume the assignment is a word jumble? By the way, my lupus is acting up again. In fact, it’s getting worse. Maybe we should increase my dose of green beans? Alright guys. See you at ClitStorm 2014. We moved the venue to the Best Western Airport Plaza in Reno — this is going to be the best conference ever!”

  49. Donk, Donk. Who's There? says:

    i think they are playing RBD. hinting at being broken up in a way that can be read either way. that word jumble from derp is so forced and phony. nobody talks that way. i don’t believe it as an exclamation of love OR a loving break up letter. is anyone responding to either of their posts asking if something is up? i don’t know, there is something “off” about all this.

    • Tingolayo says:

      When Donk posted the subletting thing, a woman replied “Are you and Deb going somewhere? How are you guys?” but Donk didn’t reply.

    • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker says:

      I have been skeptical of past breakups, but I think this time la Donka and Derpin are calling it quits for real.

      They have come to a mutual understanding to dial down the drama (he probably cooked her a healing gluten-free pizza with organic kale and Valium) and to write their breakup statements in facebook in a way that it will signal to the ladies (or gentlemen or bronies) that Derpin is available but without generating the kind of public attention that could damage the commercial prospects of the happiness project.

      She has been RESEARCHING for TWO YEARS, you know?

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      Also, the post by Derpy on Donksy’s wall was restricted to the two of their friends’ lists. It wasn’t public.

      Not that they don’t both know that multiple people on their friends lists tip off RBD.

    • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

      Typical when you find your bf on tinder, its’ over.

      This is how it went down. He wanted to leave, she cried, he wanted to leave, she begged, he wanted to leave, she threatened suicide…she found him on Tinder, was humiliated by our outing him, demanded he write that awful breakup screed and publish it to the masses of don’t-give-a-shits.

      She’s still crying.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I think that’s far more likely than they’re still together and this was a bonding exercise.

      • Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker says:

        Being the clueless donkey she is, she was probably still expecting a Donkentine’s day proposal.

  50. LetItExplode says:

    Yeah. They’re done. “I’m here with you even though it might not seem like it” means BYE. Ditto to her “I will always love you.” The only time I’ve ever said that to someone is when it was over.

    Jacy you are totally right. Brilliant move by Derpin to praise her publicly as this Shining Light for the world then back out of the room slowly.

    This would be a perfect opportunity for julia to meet someone new and leave it OFF the Internet. She’s had a lot of shitty break-ups, so hopefully she’ll go this route. But who am I kidding.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      “I’m here with you even though it might not seem like it”
      TRANSBRAYTION: I’m here in spirit. Eat my dust. Buh-bye.

  51. Looking for a man THIS big says:

    (Sorry tech unsavvy, need to attend a playshop)

    Added to the list of requirements:

    A man this big, or a strap-on this big

    http://imgur.com/5LBrfJA

    [img]http://imgur.com/5LBrfJA[/img]

  52. eye bleach stat grammarian says:

    Do not stand at my grave and weep,
    I am not there, I do not sleep,
    I am a thousand winds that blow
    I am the diamond glints on snow
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain
    I am the gentle Autumn rain

    When you awaken in the morning’s hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quite birds in circled flight
    I am the soft stars that shine at night
    Do not stand at my grave and cry
    I am not there, I did not die

  53. جوليا أليسون هو العضو التناسلي النسوي (from the LOLfirm of Chesly, Manly, Bottomy, and Gorham) says:

    WOW. I missed a lot of shit.

    (pops popcorn)

    Remember when they were open to buying a 4 br house there?

    (munch munch)

    And why the fuck is she thanking the Lalla grifter for advice? SHE GOT DUMPED AGAIN. BY THE MODESTO STRANGLER.

    (munch munch)

    So who’s her next mark? Some trustafarian she banged in CR?

    • Looking for a man/thing THIS big says:

      curious, so had to look at googley translater, from the arabic username:
      “Leah and Allison is a cunt”

      I am not here, I am at the Armory Studios

  54. Ego Demon Pearskank says:

    OT: EMERGENCY CAT SIGNAL: paging all OMG published authors, ideally with experience with big University presses in the US.

    I just received a reply to my query from one of the big guns, asking to see my book proposal (based on my thesis). Would any of you accomplished cat ladies be willing to help a pearskank out with some advice? I think the proposal is pretty good as it is and has the seal of approval of my brilliant supervisor, but since this is a deal if epic proportions for me, I’d like to run it by other people whose opinion I value because I want to get this as right as I can.
    I’m at ironyslanket (at) gmail dot com.

    Thank you! Love and light and namaste, bitches 🙂

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Yay! I am traveling at the moment so not all that reachable, but I want to be sure you’ve seen this article from the Chronicle of Higher Education—it’s a great resource.

      Yay!

      • Hyperventilating Pearskank says:

        Thanks, Albie!
        I’ll be sure to check my Opus diletanti against that.
        Once I’ve calmed down that is…

      • fig (young, fun, feminine philosopher) says:

        Yay for Albie always! I had nothing helpful to add, but I so hoped you would!

  55. Worrisome Pelts says:

    Donkey Droppings via FB:

    The #SXSW panel I’m on this year with one of my idols, Dr. Helen Fisher:

    http://schedule.sxsw.com/2014/events/event_IAP22602

    Social media has made finding love easier: reconnecting with your college sweetheart on LinkedIn, broadcasting emotions on Twitter and maybe even finding our soul mate on a mobile app. But dating sites & social outlets facilitate infidelity & exploitation in a relationship as efficiently as they bring couples together. 2/3 of divorce cases have used evidence from Facebook. Tons of people learnt they were dumped by checking their ex’s FB status. A 2013 study shows people communicate more by text today than by phone.
    Technology & digital media have changed the way we digest information and communicate. However, our love lives are possibly impacted most of all. We will cover many provocative topics such as how online dating creates endless dates, making it more difficult to achieve lasting love; the impact of technology on long distance relationships—Mashable reported on “Fundawear” by Durex; whether porn is ruining our love lives; whether technology has made cheating impossible & more!

    Needless to say, she stands out as the skunk at the garden party when you read the presenter list. I do hope a catlady can attend this one and report back on the blinking, smacking catastrophe.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Her bio is a hilarious mish-mash of legalese and outright Brussels sprouts a terre. When the fuck did she “host” anything that was actually broadcast on television? I’ll save you the research: she didn’t.

      • Lurker says:

        de lurking to point out that Donk has assigned herself the title “Media Personality” at “The Julia Allison Brand.” WTF is the Julia Allison BRAND???

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Who is D0nkey trying to kid?
      Julia Allison’s only idol is Julia Allison.

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      UGHHHHH IAN SCHAFER DON’T BE PART OF THIS YOU ARE A RESPECTABLE BUSINESS FELLOW

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      What can she possibly contribute to the proposed topic set? Who on earth thought she would be right for this panel?

    • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

      There is 100% absolutely no way in fucking hell that 2/3 of divorce cases have used info from FB. Care to cite that statistic? So fucking retarded. There is no way. Not like there is a national repository of divorce actions. Did they do a state by state survey?

      Ugh.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Two thirds of people over 21 aren’t even on Facebook!

        That does seem like the kind of useless pseudo-statistic the Rutgers Marriage Project would cobble together, but my guess is it’s sourced from the Raftass Institute of Bray and Cray (Marina Campus).

        • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

          2/3 of people aren’t even on FB LOL. Yeah I’m sure Greg McGillicuddy of Sheboygan is really chomping at the bit to use his wife Mare’s posts on her knitting circle FB group page as ammunition to inherit the alpaca farm.

          So fucking dumb.

        • Snow says:

          He must be in line with the people at the National Marriage Project at UVA and their inability to understand and interpret statistics

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Julia Allison obvs pulled that “stat” out of her deflated raftass in one of her typical “I have no clue what I am talking about so I’ll make this horseshit up on the fly” routines — her “2/3” has as much validity as does “tons of people”.

        Also: “learnt” … oy.

      • JFA - Deranged Loser in Life says:

        Like what does that even mean? I WANT CUSTODY. YOU SLUT, STOP “LIKING” YOUR COWORKER JIM-BOB’S PICS OF HIS HARLEY. YOU’RE SCREWED JEMIMA!

  56. marina bitch says:

    Did she finally get dropped on that raft ass on v – day? Lulz 4 days. They were probably at home on Friday night, donk on her grifted laptop furiously pounding away sending emails to all her ex bfs (they talk several times a day! Wow much friendship.) begging one to send her some flowers or a casual meet up/photo op to make Derpin jealous. Meanwhile in the healing clitflicker kitchen of no weiners, Debbie is desperately scrounging together the funds to escape chez donk back to palace of fine pizza tables while his healing cream sauce a la floor sprout simmers and his iPhone buzzes ever so reassuringly with tinder alerts near his invisiballs…

  57. Wolf, Hemmingway and Bleeker says:

    I wonder what Puspito Vito Oo Nugroho thinks of all this.

  58. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    So it basically took a month to play out after this: http://annielalla.com/2014/01/14/wants-break/

    Timing is that they had an “amazing” New Year’s Eve, according to Donkey. Posted about the tacky fireplace sex. Took off for Costa Rica and Debbie wouldn’t go with her. She posted that she was returning there the next month for VCray and birthcray and hoped Debbie would be joining her then. Then she posted weepy stuff in Costa Rica about missing him. Posted that she wanted LaPhlegm to go to have an ecstatic dance with him in Oakland. Came back and had a Smellsberg visit and did the OM thing. Went to LA to see bald Julia and Lilly. Took photo of disembodied Debbie head in the Wookie bed proclaiming eternal love. Went back east to stupid pointless U.Penn lecture and to Britt’s. And then mostly radio silence, except for a FB countdown to VCray and BirthCray, and an ill-timed radio interview about love and happiness.

    I have a hunch that Debbie may have posted an ad on more than just Tinder, which was why the Grindr dig in the radio show. Perhaps he finally became “open” enough to go where we all suspected he wanted to. And to do that, he had to break it off. Total speculation on my part, but I always felt that he wanted an “open” relationship to be about more than women.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Wow, that really might be her. Sure sounds like it, and how many “clients” can this dipshit possibly have? So does she charge Donk every time she calls? That’s hilarious.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I’m kind of on board w/ your speculation — I think Curious Chef (under duress & contractual obligation) spent enough time w/ D0nkey that he’s disinclined to pretend anymore — something tells me he’s completely done w/ the vajayjay.

      #JuliaAllisonGroomFluffer

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Holy shit, that is the worst advice ever. She is basically telling her to refuse to let him go. Fuck these idiots are fucking idiots. RUN DERPIN!! RUN!!!!!

      Get this:

      3) No matter how bad it feels or looks right now…stay connected to the knowledge that being with your lover is a privilege and an exquisite gift worth fighting for, perhaps even dying for (ie: your protective, defended persona must die-into the raw authentic self that your partner is actually in love with)

    • Authenticity Costume says:

      let it unfurl?

  59. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    “You’re an unconditional lover…You’ve opened for me a door to a world of belonging and acceptance and allowed me to find a way to love and be loved.”

    I think you’re right, Grifty, and I think this part of his FB post reads like she was OK with him exploring sex with men, which maybe he did for the first time. To me, this sounds like it’s referring to some kind of coming out.

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