The 2013 Year In Review: Michael Arrington is an Alleged Rapist and Beater of Women, So, Naturally, Julia Allison Makes It All About Herself

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It wouldn’t be a year in review without Julia Allison inserting herself into someone else’s rape. First it was that CBS Lady who got Benghazi’d, then it was her mother, now it was that chick who thought crying rape to Facebook instead of the police and her former sister Meghan Asha.

Long story short, Michael Arrington may or may not have beaten and raped his girlfriend. Julia Allison saw this story and said, this story needs a little dash of MEEEEEEE, so she ran to Gawker and claimed that Michael Arrington beat her former sister/Pointy McPointerson Meghan Asha is if she were familial with the matter. That’s all fine and dandy, Gawker trades in tips such as these. Where it went all wrong was that Julia Allison had to be all Julia Allison about it. 

When Gawker reported that Julia Allison confirmed rumors that Arrington also smacked Asha around, Julia threw a hissy fit, claiming that she never did such a thing and was harangued by the media.

I have been harassed by no less than seven reporters about these incidents, including Gawker’s writers, including Adrian Chen. To ALL of them I said I was not willing to comment. I NEVER witnessed any physical abuse, and I don’t know why Gawker is alleging I did. I don’t know what happened between Meghan Asha and Michael Arrington, and I never will.

It is never okay to abuse anyone, but it is ALSO not okay to report stories when your “evidence” is shoddy and/or made up. Gawker has “reported” stories using absolute crap before, and they have no conscience whatsoever about doing so.

I have moved away from New York, I got my life back, I am happy now, I have moved on. I told Gawker to leave me alone and leave me out of this. Why am I not surprised they didn’t respect me enough to do so?

That’s all fine and dandy too, because Gawker does indeed employ some shitty reporters, like Adrian Chen (except not anymore!), so it’s easy to believe they were making shit up, except Donkey wouldn’t shut up about it. So Gawker played their hand by releasing the text messages Julia sent to two Gawker employees, including Adrian Chen.

So, yes, Gawker was forced to throw Julia Allison under the bus and back it up a few times for good measure. Donkey pissed people off left and right, including Mr. Paultato, who also felt the need to insert himself into this story by throwing his former friend Julia under another bus.

I’d say this was glorious, but Michael Arrington is still stomping around the streets of Silicon Valley and is not rotting in jail for being a Rapey McRapeBurger.

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150 Responses to The 2013 Year In Review: Michael Arrington is an Alleged Rapist and Beater of Women, So, Naturally, Julia Allison Makes It All About Herself

  1. Worrisome Pelts says:

    Anglos!

  2. no bullshit grammarian says:

    gawker!

  3. Prom Party Burnout says:

    It’s sooo odd…her random silences and then sudden bursts of memememememe. Thocial Media Sethpert! Really building brand, she is.

  4. Donks gives good deadline says:

    Silicon Valley should be fire bombed

  5. SURROUNDED BY BOOKS BECAUSE I AM AN AUTHOR WITH BOOKS says:

    This was probably one of the highlights of her year. Reporters talking to her, being quoted/mentioned in Gawker, feeling like she mattered again (not that she ever did before). Probably distracted her from being a random failed nobody (who is fat now).

  6. The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

    Mikey won’t hesitate to sue a bitch. I wonder if Petey had to settle out of court on this one? Combined with the European extravaganza this year sounds like it was an expensive one for Dad$ers..

  7. Lin says:

    Rapey McRapeBurger. Hahahahhaha i die

  8. BunnyBingo says:

    Remember how she was going to make a ton of “fuck you money”, because she was a “woman in tech”?

    • Stolen Barbie Talks aka Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      I could never understand how she felt comfortable using that line. She wasn’t an engineer, programmer, just a talking head saying a lot of nothing. I wasn’t around from the beginning, but did people in the industry call her out on that shit?

      • Queen Neferteeri Is Chortling Derisively! says:

        Considering the brazen lies on her resume, I mean bio, and in her deranged book proposal, that shouldn’t come as a surprise.

    • Barking Mad says:

      That’s how I got here. As a real woman in tech, I googled her and her bubblehead lifecasting companions to find out wtf was passing for a woman in tech. And have been unable to look away.

  9. The Artist Formerly Known as Random Snowflake™ says:

    Did the Boogers sell the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility™ a few months ago? It looks like they made a nice pile of ca$h, too. Or maybe they had to do it to keep up with the mounting expenses of supporting an almost middle aged spinster layabout?

    http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1006-Michigan-Ave-Wilmette-IL-60091/3365225_zpid/

  10. Sake Bombardier says:

    “I got my life back” = laugh-worthy on so many levels.

    • Suicide by Ballet says:

      That whole list of “accomplishments” was just so sad. And that she felt the need to write all that to a random commenter is pathetic and hilarious. This Arrington thing was a truly a great Donkey story, but I am disappointed she didn’t end up sued by that prick.

      • Stolen Barbie Talks aka Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        And she’s disappointed she didn’t get mentioned in the VF article about Arrington. Tries, so, hard, our donkey does.

      • Queen Neferteeri Is Chortling Derisively! says:

        He probably didn’t sue because she doesn’t have assets. Just because her father has some money, unless he can somehow be proven liable, I don’t think anyone can go after his money for what his idiot Donkey does.

        • Stolen Barbie Talks aka Blowjobs by Bravo says:

          Maybe if he set up a trust for her. But, I’d imagine we’d have heard endlessly of her ‘trust’ and it would be on her bio right under ‘tit thrust’

          • Queen Neferteeri Is Chortling Derisively! says:

            Perhaps. I don’t know the legal issues, or if a trust can be hit like that. Then again, if he set up a trust for her, she probably wouldn’t have been shilling tacky shit and wearing cheapo clothes, shoes, etc.

  11. ShesJustStupid says:

    One of the dumbest things she’s ever tried to pull off is the whole “documentary series” description of Miss Assvice. I sure hope she’s recharged her batteries to start writing her awesome book in the New Year! Can’t wait for the RV trip.

  12. bitchface says:

    hahaha the visuals of this post are awesome…………………(picturing rapey McRapeBurger ape stomping around silicon valley while julia hides in her SF nesting home in fear of going out from the thousands of paparazzi waiting to harass her and meghan pointy mcpointer pointing out where she is hiding)

  13. Donks gives good deadline says:

    I got a book on happiness in me too – it’s a private only-one-edition print. As should everyone’s – she’s too retarded to understand individualism to that degree

  14. Life is unfair says:

    OT, but there she goes again…

    Julia Allison
    2 hours ago via mobile
    If you ever have a choice … Always – ALWAYS – pick the adventure.

    [As long as Dad$ser$ is around to pay for it.]

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      “adventure” usually means something didn’t go as planned in Donk Speak…

    • JFA says:

      This is not LA, and you are not Julia Roberts playing a prostitute. My god, STFU. The shit this bitch finds meaningful.

      Yes, your adventurous life of not having a job and living with your gay wanna be chef boyfriend. God I envy you.

    • Stolen Barbie Talks aka Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      I choose she starts dressing better for her ‘adventures.’ Real clothing, not costumes, on loan from devin’s cross-dressing closet. Christmas was quite, but I’m guessing her passive-aggressiveness towards devin about still not being engaged, was off the charts!!! See: JA FB profile picture, sans devin.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        She removed from her page (but not the gallery) that fauxto of the two of them … I’m betting that he made her do so … is “happiness” defined by having a gay bf who won’t even acknowledge you? I am betting not.

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          It’s still showing up on her page. She removed it as her main FB background photo or whatever and replaced it with the one of just her.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            What she posted on the 25th isn’t showing on her page when I look. Maybe you’re talking about the one that *is* showing on her page, from the 22nd? Derpin ain’t in that one.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            It’s still there for me. These are her three latest posts on her page (the second edited profile photo on the 25th is her with Devin):

            1.
            Julia Allison
            19 hours ago via mobile
            If you ever have a choice … Always – ALWAYS – pick the adventure.
            2Like · Share
            123 people like this.

            Rachel Billow You always have a choice, J!
            16 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

            Annie Lalla d’you know what characterizes and adventure? not knowing how it all turns out…
            13 hours ago · Like · 3

            2.
            Julia Allison changed her profile picture.
            December 25 · Edited

            Like · Share
            84 people like this.

            Mia Cara Wow – you look so prim and proper…and that this picture could have been taken 40 years ago…awesome, you are timeless!
            December 25 at 4:56pm · Like · 3

            Megwyn White Gorgeous plaid mama!
            December 25 at 5:43pm · Like · 3

            Milena Kozhin You look amazing!
            December 25 at 6:07pm · Like · 1

            Aubrey Sabala Gorgeous!! Merry Christmas!
            December 26 at 6:45am via mobile · Like · 1

            3.
            Julia Allison changed her profile picture.
            December 25 · Edited

            Like · Share

          • A-Game Content says:

            Mwegwwwynnn’s comment that refers to her as “mama…” I know it could mean *nothing*, especially from that lunatic… But what if… What if….

  15. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    So no mention of Christmas in Modesto?

  16. Meteorologist grammarian says:

    Happiness books = fleecing the hicks

  17. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    Here’s what I was thinking: How many people on the planet other than Putin and Rush Limbaugh types have said or done several things annually that they should be horrified and embarrassed by? That should have caused them to seriously re-evaluate what type of shitty human being they are?

    There are several of these episodes every year by this dumb asshole, even in 2013, when she was relatively “off the grid.”

    Oh honey.

  18. Braying Lady Crony says:

    What the HELL is on Rapey McRapeBurger’s face? Clearly some sort of bronzer/concealer/spackle of the absolute wrong shade. It is to vomit.

    • JFA says:

      He is so fucking revolting. The hardest part for me in believing this story is that anyone dates him. I don’t care how much money he has. You couldn’t pay me enough to have sex with that. Gross.

      • Queen Neferteeri Is Chortling Derisively! says:

        You wouldn’t believe the icky, makes-your-skin-crawl guys who get sex because they have money. I know of a couple in which he looks like a child molester and she’s a white trash slut with a horse face and aversion to washing her Ronald McDonald hair. But he buys her expensive gifts and takes her on fancy vacations. So it’s assumed he’s getting anal, and almost certainly fulfillment of some really gross fantasies.

        • Cunter Gorham says:

          Please leave Michael Ellsberg and Jena La Flamme out of this.

          -Tucker Max

        • JFA says:

          Hey, what’s wrong with anal?

          Also yeah, generally when I fuck someone I have to be attracted to them. But I am also the kinda person who would rather date a sexy attractive artist without a ton of money then some ugly douche with money and/or power. I’m crazy like that.

          He’s worse than Elsberg and Debbie combined IMO. Not only is he fat, he’s also ugly. I can’t.

          • JFA says:

            I have an artist/creatives fetish. Also a euro fetish. At times I wish I had a money fetish, but I prefer to earn my own, because i am not a dumb bitch and I never want to be reliant on a man, like ever.

          • JFA says:

            Also isn’t she loaded anyway? Why fuck does she need to date disgusting wealthy men?

            the mind boggles.

          • Tingolayo says:

            Yep. I have a job and support myself, so I don’t need a white knight. Not impressed by rich, self-tanner-using, golf-shirt-wearing, automatic-transmission-Porsche-driving, vodka-martini-drinking, Silicon Valley d-bags. Arrington is vomitty.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            All his features are crowded into the middle of his face, like they’re trying to escape from his ears. People like that are doomed to look like Humpty Dumpty, which is not a good look for actual humans.

  19. Norse Horse says:

    Hey you guys.. glad to see you! I came here last night and it said “Page suspended” or some shit and was a bit freaked. Whew! And the alt address just-in-case is on my crap ole broke computer. Anyway, much relieved. xo

  20. JFA says:

    My favorite part of this story is that Asha just blatantly ignores her texts for days. “Babe?” She’s so gross. How can anyone stand to be around her for even 5 minutes, I do not know. Besides her boyfriend who is clearly at least slightly mentally challenged and the world’s biggest dork/loser.

  21. Donkton Blabby says:

    This Arrington incident in particular fascinates me because it truly highlights that JA is a pathological liar. A dear friend of mine growing up was a liar like this — the scariest part of it was that she seemed to believe her own lies even when caught in the act. When we’d confront her on them she always seemed genuinely confused. I suspect Julia is the same way. I totally think she spilled the beans to gawker and then believed the denial she issued. It’s a sickness, really – just one of many this chick has.

    Anyway….choose adventure!!!

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      “adventure” = bronc a wallet, no doubt. Just spin the deceit & bray loudly.

      You’ve described my childhood (now ex) friend’s pathological lying, & now that I am witness to another pathological-liar-in-the-making, I think a lot of it has to do w/ one’s innate need to weigh-in , no matter how clueless they are to actual facts, as some dire need to (a) supply an answer, & (b) be heard. I keep trying to help a little kid understand that it is okay to say “I don’t know”, but the mixed signals she gets from family (demanding an answer that they don’t even listen to & never calling the child out on blatant lies) wins out, always.

  22. Donkton Blabby says:

    Brayella – in my ex-friend’s case I think she was desperate for attention. She came from a large, drama-filled family and her lies made her important; they helped her to matter. I suspect JA is the same – she feels the need to be a part of every story, to matter and be heard. And this desire has manifested itself into an illness. Honestly, JA is a fascinating case study. She’s also an asshole.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      That is similar to my ex-friend; she comes from a family of only two siblings, but her family life was chock-full of histrionics (dad had a Napoleon complex & was very blustery & volatile, so she picked up on being over-the-top demonstrative).

      The young child I referred to, well, she is everyone’s little darling & can do no wrong, so it’s always about how cute she is, hence the center-of-attn M.O. at all costs that never gets addressed.

      All that ^ is fascinating to me, since I came up as the youngest of a bunch of sibs &, while I stop short of saying I was “neglected” (I wasn’t), I sure as hell never got to ‘call the shots’ & cause my parents world to revolve around me — just a different era, from when kids were seen but not heard, I guess? — it definitely taught me to do for myself to get what I wanted (but in a good way: strong work ethic, etc).

    • Queen Neferteeri Is Chortling Derisively! says:

      Mine, too! The former JIML came from a smallish, but well-known, family (2 parents, 1 sibling), but she was the only one who wasn’t accomplished. Now that you guys bring it up, I bet a big part of her compulsive lying was for the same reason. I thought it’s because she’s a cunt. Well, that too.

    • new year new you grammarian says:

      my daughter has been glommed onto at school by a junior monster in the making

      i would have recognized it as odd without the goings on here; thru this lens, it is the beginning phase of the disorder(s): drama, lying, screaming, crying, we’re BFF, we’re like sisters, repeat

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      a propos! i finally read Gone Girl. very interesting psychology; hosebeast psycho. also finished A Hologram for the King. quite good too, weak and incomplete ending though, i felt. i’ve got a hold on The Circle, hope to get that soon. good books recs, thanks RBD cats!

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Three recent good reads:

        The Woman Upstairs
        The Goldfinch
        Dirty Love (by the author of “the House of Sand and Fog)

        • psychotic today says:

          Did you like, “Dirty Love?”

        • Fameless Shamewhore says:

          Didn’t read Dirty Love but can highly, HIGHLY recommend both the other two books – The Woman Upstairs and The Goldfinch. Both fantastic reads!

          • jane says:

            i haaaaaaate donna tartttttttt

          • frequent liar miles says:

            We have always called her Doreen Trapp in my circle as a way of mocking the hype (e.g., posed as a circus performer on a trapeze in Vogue when The Secret History was coming out), but I actually do enjoy her books immensely. I have determined that she has only written these few books over the years between/during stints in rehab. Whatever the process, I think her books are great, and The Goldfinch was my best read for the past year.

            processcase, I

          • frequent liar miles says:

            processcase I = secret code to identify dummies who cannot control kindle keyboard, I guess.
            P.S.: so delighted to read here that Heehaw will not be in SF for NYE.

          • Greg says:

            FLM, I am interested in your theory about rehab because I have a friend who said the same thing! Is this fact or your speculation?

          • jane says:

            rehab? well i have a soft spot in my heart for that so maybe i will reconsider my hatred of her and only hate her books :)

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I have friendquaintances who worked with her at the Victor Hugo bookstore eons ago, and she had drinking and sniffing issues then (of course so did I, it was the Reagan Administration).

            I couldn’t get into The Little Friend at ll, but I really liked The Goldfinch. You have to love Dickens, though.

          • Greg says:

            I lovelovelove The Secret History but I think it is a function of reading it at precisely the right time in my life. Hated The Little Friend but really enjoyed The Goldfinch – was sick in bed with a cold one weekend and couldn’t put it down between naps.

  23. bat signal says:

    she and derpy are in tribeca, nyc.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Why on Earth? NYE party chez sex gargoyle, I suppose.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Oh, lord. Imagine having La Thorne as a stepmother,

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Wait…her fiancé has kids?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            She has a photo on her FB saying “This is my first Christmas as a parent,” so I assume so.

            On the other hand, it’s Thorne, so maybe she meant something completely different, like “I love pie” and she just Englished wrong.

          • Jack the Adventurous Bulldog says:

            So dreadfully embarrassed! How did I miss the Thorne-y nupitals? Oh wait, I’ve been flying around the country and WORKING these past three weeks. Glad to have gotten out of NYC in time to have missed the donkey and her gelding.
            Re: that wedding to the mysterious Mr. Geffner–no carbon footprint?–surely Julie can offer some advice to her yenta:

            “Oh goodness the nerves are setting in about my wedding on Tuesday. I’m not nervous about getting married but nervous about the fact that I’ll be the center of attention.

            I’ve never liked parties for myself. When I was little my mother used to have to beg me to let her throw me a party. I had one when I turned 8. My 18th was a surprise.

            Help! Have any Words of advice about how to divert the nerves?”

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Sex gargoyle and his goddess are in SF after returning from a trip to India where they posed in front of copulating statues and posted about how sexual they are.

        • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

          Those two are gift that keeps on giving. The casual racism, the raging narcissism, the unchecked privilege. Truly a delight to people who enjoy a good face/palm.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Grosss! My hood!

    • Tingolayo says:

      Get the fuck out of the neighborhood of my new favorite hotel. On the other hand, stay out if California. So basically, get off my planet.

      PS Am drink.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Homebody! Comfy and delightful!

  24. cluck you birthday chicken says:

    So, wait, how is Arrington rich? I know he’s a “tech editor” but he’s not a founder or anything, right? What am I missing?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      He started some companies, including one that got sold off to Western Union. It’s in his Wikipedia entry.

      • Stolen Barbie Talks aka Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        No amount of money can fix ugly and soulless (MA and JA are shining examples).

      • cluck you birthday chicken says:

        Gotcha. Clearly I don’t care enough to read his wiki–but all I want for 2014 is a lawsuit from him to Donkey. Let’s kick this party up a notch. That being said, how would we know if he sued her? (fingers crossed)

    • bitchface says:

      he sold techcrunch to AOL and made anywhere from $15-30M

      Today I had to take a cab and was thinking about Julia Allison’s cab thing from what back when and then started thinking about this site and then Rapey McRapeBurger and I started giggling and couldn’t stop and the driver thought I was losing it…..

  25. cluck you birthday chicken says:

    Arrington has been known to advocate dropping out of college, stating at the 2010 UC-Berkeley Distinguished Innovator Lecture Series that “the best thing in the world is to go to Harvard for a year and drop out. Everyone knows you were smart enough to get in.”

    Donkey hates him bc she’s too stupid to get in anywhere. Also, he’s a rapist scumbag

  26. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    hey, some “happiness experts” were talking about how to be happy over on Al Jazeera. strange that they didn’t have Donkey on for an insightful interview.

  27. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    Sheeitt this is funny. “If you can’t find rocks in the wild.” And what is with Pervy Dave Morin?

    http://valleywag.gawker.com/brit-morins-diy2k13-a-look-back-at-making-magic-1492210157

    • Jack the Adventurous Bulldog says:

      “I showed y’all how to write words on a jar, which is simply cool as heck IMO. Stenciling is the new green (Black is an evil color, witches, spooky cats, etc. #fail)”

      Bwa ha ha–only future husband Sam Biddle could have come up with a Brit who hits too close to home.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      So funny. I mean, those crafts are ridiculous. Why are people so stupid?

      I love Sam Biddle.

    • new year new you grammarian says:

      so much filler — the content and her face

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, Sam Biddle. That is brilliant.

    • featherbrained/Total JING says:

      Glad to see RBD is a Sam Biddle love fest! He’s the best valleywag-er ever.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Sam Biddle just has to be a closet catlady. That was brilliant.

    • JFA says:

      This is gold. So glad they are tearing her a new asshole. And my god the way she mugs for the camera. What an ego maniac. You aren’t that cute honey.

      I like how she supposedly has 45K + followers on FB and there are like NO COMMENTS ON ANYTHING, and barely more than 10 likes on anything. She must be employing a full time bad comment scrubber.

      This chick is such a hot mess.

    • Braying Lady Crony says:

      “4. Can u make a centerpiece out of yogurt and LEDs? Prob”

      #slain

  28. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    happy new year, cats!

  29. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Been a while since I chimed in.

    Just wanted to wish you cat peeps a very healthy and happy new year.

    Best to all in 2014!

  30. Barking Mad says:

    Happy New Year, everybody! Even though a donkey is quieter, we will never the donk.

    Looking forward to another year of fail and fabulous conversation. The book fail is inevitable. If she submits something, it will be dreadful. And if not, it will be the most spectacular fail of all!

    How much does it burn to be still not engaged?

    • Tingolayo says:

      As of tomorrow, she’s “officially” “writing” the “book.”

      • Jack the Adventurous Bulldog says:

        … which will then be put off to February 1 and so it goes. Let’s hope 2014 brings us another big three along the lines of the Arrington “scandal ” (or Rapey McRapeburger), outrageous insensitivity towards a minority group, and that goddamn endless book proposal. I saw two pals in publishing when in NYC recently and they’re still laughing over the footnotes.

    • Stolen Barbie Talks aka Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Happy New Year Everyone! Excited for all the real books coming out from those on the page. And looking forward to the excuses come from the reason for this page.

      I’m starting a ‘new’ New Year’s tradition. Pork and sauerkrat, be gone! Shoes are the ‘new’ New Year’s good luck tradition!

  31. Prom Party Burnout says:

    Ok…ok…just checked donkey’s fb to see if there were any nye faxtos to laugh at and score! Did Thorney get OMG married on nye? That is the only excuse I think of for wearing such an ugly, white, mermaid dress with netting/feathered facinator on her head. Sad christmas tree in the backgroud, devin in a rented tux, saggy donkey tits with an EPIC effort to tit thrust…lololololol! Happy new year bitches!

    • Stolen Barbie Talks aka Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Ahhh yeah! That creepy claw hand of Devin’s in back in full swing. This time it’s there to help keep her dress up. Christ, I hope her resolution is to find a fucking tailor and some taste. Dressing like the DWTS trophy, does not a trophy wife, make.

      • Modesto Strangler (form. Aspen>Tulips) says:

        Did you notice the big piece of bling on her ring finger (not the infamous pink ring, also seen on the other hand)? Given the lack of braying I have to assume it’s her favorite tactic of wearing wedding-like jewelry for attention.

        Her new cover photo makes her look truly demented. Like a Jack in the box from hell.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Wow, Thorne’s new husband is tiny. I hope they will be diminutively happy together.

      Julie Albertson’s dress is terribly unflattering. Because flattening. She never gets it right, does she?

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Later, at the tuxedo rental place:

      “Hey boss, there’s something really weird in the pocket of this tux.”
      “What is it, Davey?”
      “I dunno. It’s green and slimy.”
      “A Brussels sprout? First time for everything, right?”
      “What the hell, in the other pocket there’s a purple horse.”
      “Ha, a My Little Pony, my daughter loves ‘em. I bet his kid is wailing for her doll now.”

  32. Rebecca of Donkeybrook Ashram says:

    Hilariously big head and terrifying maw in the pic of her with Thorne and groom. These are the best, Facebook worthy ones? Can you imagine the outtakes?

  33. Malformed Face says:

    What happened to her boobs? So sad. So flat. So saggy.

    • Queen Neferteeri Is Chortling Derisively! says:

      That’s what happens when she doesn’t shove the cutlets in her bra.

  34. K_Swizz says:

    Happy New Year catpeeples! Y’all are the best!

  35. The Final Rose says:

    I guess I follow Juliar on Instagram because she suddenly popped up in my feed today. She is attempting something called #365grateful and is first grateful for some really ghastly pictures of her and Devin at last night’s wedding. He looks seriously ill and she appears to be eating his face in one picture. Enjoy!

  36. Andy Whorehol says:

    [img]http://instagram.com/p/ipMdptCVU8/[/img]

    Ewww.

  37. LEFOOLIEH says:

    U GUIZ.

    Julia Allison
    21 minutes ago via mobile
    Escaping to Costa Rica for the next ten days … If this flight takes off! The New York snow made it a bit of a treacherous journey to the airport at 6 am. But what’s a journey without a proper hurdle in the way of your bliss? ;)

    HAPPINESS TOUR BEGINZ

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