Could It Be That It Was All So Simple Then? Or Has Deb Rewritten Every Lie?


Oh dear. It appears Donk is in the midst of yet another painful breakup/meltdown due to her own psychotic behavior. We don’t have the details yet — a commenter speaks vaguely, and promisingly, of Lilly neglect, dirty deeds done to Debbie that will make the Pancakes abuse seem like an afternoon tea party, parental fallout, desperate attempts at a face-saving job in Chicago as she is shown the door by Derwood — but even in the absence of solid information, it is clear something has happened and it’s bad. Donk claims to hate living in downtown L.A. and has spun it to at least one friend in San Francisco that her proposed, now abandoned “road trip” is simply a desire to get out of the “horrific” neighborhood Derwood lives in that isn’t fit for a pretty pink princess. But most suspect Debbie, in fact, asked her to leave due to some major relationship-killing act of Donkey terror, and the road trip was meant to save face.

What could possibly have happened? Doesn’t Derwood KNOW that GRANDMOTHER SENT HIM TO HER? That this is the GREATEST LOVE OF ALL? How has he forgotten all of this??! It was just weeks ago!!!








Oh honey. Truer words were probably never spoken.

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156 Responses to Could It Be That It Was All So Simple Then? Or Has Deb Rewritten Every Lie?

  1. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    Maybe his heated growth opportunity fell off. Hey, Ellsberg! Yoo-hoo! What gives?

  2. qvc says:

    That ring looks like something from a 3am viewing of QVC

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      And it’s at least 2 sizes too small!!

      • qvc says:

        This. The circulation in her finger will be cut off.
        Why is she even showing it to everyone? I know cheap jewelry when I see it and that ring is cheap. It’s totally informercial merchandise.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Defending him though…if someone I loved didn’t have much money and bought me something he could afford out of love, I don’t care if it was cheap or fake, I’d still wear it. Yeah, he may not have the best taste but I think the gesture was sweet. We all know he didn’t have the money for this trip.

          I had a co-worker once who would have rivaled Julia in her narcissism. She married a guy who was besotted with her only because everyone in the office was getting married and she had to one-up them with an extravagant wedding. He bought her a beautiful antique diamond and gold ring but it was only about 1/2 carat diamond. A year later she had it modified to fit a bigger stone and ruined it to hell. Of course in 2 years, she’d cheated on him, he found out about it, and they got divorced.

          Oh and yeah, she told everyone in the office she had cervical cancer and needed to have two weeks off for surgery, when in fact she got breast implants for the wedding. Funny but her 2nd hubby is an OMG founder and now she’s rich, living in a huge mansion on Russian Hill in SF. There is no god.

          • qvc says:

            Okay I have a response to this. I totally get the not having much money deal, we have all been there for the most part at one point or another.

            I guess it’s just me but I would rather have chinese delivery and a netflix movie that an obviously fake ring. If I were dating someone and had a lack of funds, I would just make him dinner or something involving less money. I wouldn’t go out and buy him a fake watch. It’s like she needs something to show people.

          • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

            Also, there are plenty of non-precious stones that are really pretty and make nice rings, etc.

      • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

        And it’s at least 2 sizes too small!!

        Just like all of her tacky clothes.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        I have a little intaglio ring I wear as a pinky ring, but if I FORCE it onto my ring finger, it fits exactly like Donkey’s fits hers.

  3. Shamoolia says:

    She wanted to keep him around as a GREATEST LOVE EVER KNOWN prop until the Pancakes wedding was over (as if Pancakes ever looked at her feed). Debbie outlived his usefulness.


    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      She also just wanted so badly to reach and pass that one year milestone. Congratulations Donkey, you faked it until you made it.

  4. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    She’s writing a book on HAPPINESS? Oh sweet Lord, Jesus, in heaven above!

  5. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    JUST NOTICED SOMETHING: In the Harlequin Romance poses with Debbie carrying Julia, by keeping her left arm down, she is making herself a total hernia-popping weight for Debbie. If she were a truly thoughtful girlfriend, she’d throw that hoof of hers around his neck to take some of the heft off his arms.

    What a dump!

  6. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    It can’t be said enough. That’s a really ugly ring.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      And really small!

      If she wears it for more than 15 minutes, she’ll need that sausage amputated.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Not even that. Hers doesn’t have the glass on the side. Let’s just pretend that rock is at all real. What stone would that even be? I’ve seen fancier, more realistic jewelry come out of a plastic bubble.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Pale ruby or amethyst? I have a pale ruby ring and it is that shade of pink, and it’s the real deal. Although I doubt hers is, but it’s the thought that counts! Derwood tried!

          • qvc says:

            There is NO Way that ring is real. It’s colored glass. It doesn’t even look remotely real. The sad part is she thinks it does or she wouldn’t have posted it all over facebook.

          • mcakez: We Need to Talk About Devin says:

            I like how she could only pull off a blurry shot. Like she suddenly forgot how to use the camera on her iPhone, and not because she was hoping to hide how cheap it is in blur.

          • Donkey is a sinister failtard, toodles losers! says:

            I have a pink tourmaline ring that’s like hers (also a gift! from a sister! a real sister sister, not “you’re not useful to me anymore, bye bitch! sister) that looks pretty dark like that in some lighting.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Tourmaline or rhodolite, maybe. But I’m betting CZ.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Maybe rhodolite. This is a nicer ring with a similar-looking stone, MSRP under $100.

  7. Me, Myself & l-I-lly says:

    Anxiously awaiting The Hooveumentary, Part Deux with corresponding series, Amanda Bynes 2.0.

  8. Psychotic Today says:

    I feel like a addict. I keep checking in to see if we have any details on her meltdown.

  9. Jelly Roll says:

    Oh Goat Soap, we hardly new you…

    • Docteur Love says:

      How incredible would it be if she screwed him over enough to make him so angry that he joined the basement? A girl can dream.

      • OMGPearskank says:

        “How incredible would it be if she screwed him over enough to make him so angry that he joined the basement? A girl can dream”.

        I don’t think he could take the mocking he so clearly deserves.

        • Dawn Kiebals says:

          Considering what he’s probably already gone through, any mocking from here would be a cakewalk.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        I’d like his MMA brother to post here. I would just LOVE to know what he thought of the Donkey.

    • Jelly Roll says:

      and by new I meant “knew” – gotta agree with whoever asked to swap the “like” button for an “edit” one!

  10. للاقتصاد العالمي Esq. (with Chesly, Manly, Bottomy, & Gorham) says:

    The dumpy donkey hits the big citaaay. Let the couchsurfing and cocksucking commence!

  11. للاقتصاد العالمي Esq. (with Chesly, Manly, Bottomy, & Gorham) says:

    Seriously though, ten days. Of imposing yourself on others. Barging into other people’s homes. She is just so fucking rude.

    JFA, if you run into her, please do what the fake homeless guy couldn’t. Knock some sense into her.

  12. Tom Brady says:

    That’s the most repulsive female hand I’ve ever seen.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      The nail polish is what gets me. It’s something a ten year old would wear.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        A ten year old with dirty fingernails. Donkey lacks basic hygiene skills.

        My nieces were allowed to wear nail polish from the time they were like 3 or 4 years old, and they inevitably chose sheer sparkly colors that emphasized their grubby little paws. I was horrified at the time that their mom let them out of the house like that, but I look back on it now and I guess it was harmless. (Well, one turned out good and one bad, but I think the bad one is still in the chrysalis stage and could yet be OK.)


    She must have had to butter up that pork finger somethin’ good to wriggle that ring off. Jesus.

  14. anon says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but something makes me not believe “Krista.” Everything she says is so vague that it basically can’t be proven false, and her reasons for not spilling don’t make any sense.

    And I did believe Pancakes’ friend of a friend a few threads back, so it’s not like I’m a total skeptic…

    • Julia's Jowls says:

      I actually agree. Until we hear real details confirmed by multiple sources I’ll be skeptical. There is definitively something up in DonkeyLand, though I feel like it actually might have more to do with the Arrington thing and the real life consequences of her shitty behavior there.

      I think the main tell from Krista is “we call him Debbie.” That’s so RBNS-specific, you know? Also “looking for a job in Chicago to save face” is a theory that’s been bouncing around here for a long time. I hope we are proven wrong though. It’d be sooooo gooooood.

      • LickedRandisCake says:

        To be fair, some of our wildest theories are more often than proven correct by actual, real, bonafide tipsters after the fact.

        But, I do hope we get some confirmation soon.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      It’s the “K” name that makes me skeptical…

      • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

        I’m still stunned that Kim and Kanye did not give their daughter a K name!

        • Ava says:

          How about Knorth West as the actual spelling? 😉

          • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

            Did they really?

          • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

            I’m still upset that the world lost James Gandolfini, but gained another Kardashian.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Yup. I’m skeptical. Just repeating things we have thrown out there. Every single thing she said has been suggested here at some point.

      And if she was a friend, she wouldn’t refer to him as “Debbie.” Not buying that either.

      I’m not looking to throw a wet blanket on the party, I just have a healthy level of skepticism on this one.

      • Devin Stetler 's Healing Personal Pan Pizzas™ (formerly Malf) says:

        Possibly… though if it’s not real, it’s not like it’s coming from a Donkey.

        That said:

        1) She left The Greatest Love Of All 2 days after returning from Europe – only to then make June, July & August plans to be away from him

        2) Even if Debbie is a wack-a-loon aspiring grifter, most men, if they are marriage minded about their woman – think about what she will be like as a mother. Debbie’s Donkey parked her dog with A STRANGER while in Europe (among other times) and doesn’t even rush to pick her up afterwards

        3) After seeing Donkey run around Meagan Mark ‘s wedding I am sure 2 things occurred to him 1) Donkey wants to be with a man who is mega rich and Devin is not 2) If she is so well connected with all these rich OMG founders, why isn’t anything happening for her… and by extension – for him?

        Again, if the Krista thing isn’t true, we can at least deduce – they are no longer together and she did something awful in Europe that made him want to end it.

        • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

          Maybe it was something a bit less dramatic. Could it be that between traveling like hobos and seeing all those rich and happy people at the wedding, she got uber bummed out and decided to dump him after they returned to the Fecal Loft, because she has delusions of OBOing?

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        I’m skeptical too, for the same reasons. But if it’s a hoax, why? It can’t possibly be Donk herself, right? Like, trying to say “See, Devin, I can make them believe ANYTHING!!”

        So strange all around.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          IP info suggests not.

        • Happiness Is a Modesto Line Cook in Silver Hot Pants says:

          I’m very skeptical about this tipster. That first post from Krista didn’t even read as though an adult had written it. Just a lot of vague hints that anyone could have concocted to get some attention and/or put one over on us. I’d like to be proven wrong, but I don’t see that happening.

  15. Stay Out says:

    Totally OT but spotted Mare Mare at an Abbot Kinney restaurant looking oh so beachy and bitchy.

  16. Twitter Banned by JA says:

    Where have we heard this story before?

    Julia Allison flees California & Greatest Love…. for New York, New Man.

    Could her past be a clue to the endlessly repeating crazy circles of her behavior??
    How many years ago was the BOLTed engagement?
    Man, that’s pathetisad to be reliving your botched life over & over. No, it’s
    not a science experiment for REALLY SMART people—-it’s a #lifefail

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      that was NINE years ago, i can’t believe you still care!
      seriously though, bitch be repeating the same thing NINE YEARS LATER!
      Hit the Learn Button!

    • Discount Veneers says:

      Well I mean she was always such an astoundingly weird fit in both NYC and California. It’s a real shame that her famewhore gene was more dominanat than her trophy wife gene; if she’d had more ambition she could already be on her second Atlanta divorce and alimony payment by now! They ADORE her type of style and look down there and there’s no shortage of monumentally dumb (but OMGrich!) good ol’ boys to sponge off.

      tl;dr: donks could have found a successful mark to grift in the South, but she’s past her Southern expiration date now ;.;

  17. First Class says:

    I thoroughly enjoy her FB post of ‘too many Mr. Wrongs’. Maybe you, dear heart, are the one true Miss Wrong for ALL THE BOYS.

    • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

      Or she went to Chinatown and there were too many Mr. Wongs?

  18. Brussels Sprouts A Terre says:

    Hi Catladies! Who knows if the juicy deets on our Donquee will ever come to light, but I just wanted to say how much I love you guys lately…this site has been on fire, and our wonderful mods have been kicking ass lately. I am happy today as summer has begun and I just received tenure at my teaching job after four long, VERY difficult years of working my ass off and then coming home to three kittens every day. I feel for Julia sometimes that she may never know the satisfaction and self-esteem boost that one feels after achieving a career milestone or personal achievement. Hard work does pay off, and sometimes I believe it is the only key to true happiness. May all of you lovely catladies have a great summer! And I hope that the NYC meet-up happens, as I might be able to make it! Peace!

  19. Edward R. Burro says:

    What’s the plan now, Julia?

  20. Devin Stetler 's Healing Personal Pan Pizzas™ (formerly Malf) says:

    I have to say, seeing all these posts together fucking freak me out. None of it rings true and it feels very psycho.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Especially when we know from Ellsberg that she has pondered dumping him throughout.

      When I have more time, I’ll do a Pancakes Retrospective — same over-the-top psycho-posting.

      • Shamoolia says:

        If you were her boyfriend, how much would these posts freak you the fuck out when you know exactly what’s going on behind the scenes? Like, they have a huge fight or Julia’s being a total bitch or snooping in your email and then five minutes later some gushing post about their incredible LUUUURVE. PSYCHO!!!!

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:


          Very chilling.

        • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

          But that’s kind of my point about why I don’t feel bad for him and I don’t trust the tipster. These posts are so so so far over the top that if they truly had just fought or things were going very bad, and he saw these, there is no way he would have stuck around through any of it. And if he did, he brought the entire thing on himself.

          It has been a year, and the way she has gushed about him, including all the incredible lies about her list and everything else, has been so far beyond anything she did with any of the other boyfriends. Again, he stuck around through all of that, so in my mind, he was complicit in the great scam. And if she crapped on him, tough titties. But I don’t think he’s been crapped on because I don’t think that’s possible. I think they are both part of the entire fraud.

          • LickedRandisCake says:

            I really don’t know what to think at this point, honestly but, I would argue that her behavior with Devin hasn’t been far beyond anything she did with other boyfriends. She did crazy shit while with Pancakes. Jack McCain’s lawyer anyone? I mean, that is flat out straight jacket behavior. She also gushed over the home they shared, how blown away she was by Pancakes, blah, blah, blah. Same with PK, TK and all the others. Gushing is not optional with her, it’s standard policy.

            To my mind, it’s the exact same level of crazy, she just had much longer to perpetrate it with Devin because the relationship lasted 3x as long as any other one she’s had in the last 9 years.

            There have been times that speculation on here has gone places that I thought was beyond the beyond and yet, when the cold, hard facts came in, it really was as bad and as crazy (and sometimes much worse) than had been speculated. I remain skeptical of any new tipsters until they are vetted out but, just because Kristi’s teasing tidbits match up to our speculation does not, for me, prove she is a plant. It quite simply may mean that, once again, RBD commenters know Julia better than she knows herself. Shit, on more than one occasion we’ve actually predicted her behavior before she’s even done it.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I agree with this.

            And I am not skeptical of the commenter. I read that as being someone in Derwood’s circle. Maybe he is just starting to spill the details to his friends, so she wants to give it enough time to get around via word of mouth before she shares it with us.


          • LickedRandisCake says:

            And quite honestly, not to be a suck up but, even if I didn’t trust a particular tipster, I do trust Jacy and JP’s vetting process. I don’t know how they do it, but they seem to do it well – as even the tipsters themselves will attest to. We’ve had people on here that didn’t seem particularly sketchy to me that were shut down like nobody’s business by Mommy and Daddy as being frauds. So, I don’t believe they would bring something to us that they didn’t feel was reliable info from a reliable source and, if they ever have anything they aren’t sure of, they’ve quite clearly stated so. That’s what Unsubstantiated Rumor Time posts were all about.

            That said, after my very first few posts, I was accused of being Julia. Because I wrote like her, apparently. My ego had the sadz after that for a few days. Write like Julia? The utter humiliation!

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Mommy loves you.

          • JuLIAR Allison (is watching Julia & Devin unfold) says:

            Licked Randi’s Cake just took all my thoughts and wrote them down. I’ve often been entertained by our theories but dismissive of their plausibility … until a tipster has confirmed them all. I pretty much just accept any popular RBD theory as fact now. We’re *that* good. (And Donks is *that* insane.) (And never with the button of learning.)

        • LickedRandisCake says:

          Very creepy. That’s why you hire a homeless guy to help convince her the neighborhood is dangerous.

          Well, played, Derpin.*

          *For humor purposes only. This statement is not intended to imply Derpin contracted an assault or that violence is ever the answer. Furthermore, the views expressed by LickedRandisCake do not reflect the views of RBD or its participants.

      • Documentary Series says:

        Speaking of Ellsburg, I wonder if his RBD drop-in is contributing to the breakup. Maybe Devin did not know that Julia had wanted many times to break up with him.

        If Devin doesn’t read here, some of his friends probably do. And they would give him a heads up about what Ellsburg wrote. Maybe Devin came home to that news.

        • anon says:

          “And I am not skeptical of the commenter. I read that as being someone in Derwood’s circle. Maybe he is just starting to spill the details to his friends, so she wants to give it enough time to get around via word of mouth before she shares it with us.”

          That would be a different level of sad for Devin if even his friends call him “Debbie,” as Krista said she calls him.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Some of Donkey’s friends privately call her Donkey, so …..

          • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

            Maybe his friends are mocking him because they can’t believe that he’s actually with such a Donkey?

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Devin comes home to that news, maybe getting it right after Donkey high tailed it up to SF, and so maybe he thought the main reason she was going up to SF was to confront the newly married couple the day after their wedding. I don’t know, we’re just speculating. Come back, Krista!

  21. K_Swizz says:

    Why does all the fun happen when I’m swamped with desk errands and can only check in every 2-3 days? It’s like Craymas Part II*: The Revenge of Pancakes.

    *And by part II, I really mean LVIII, because it’s lather, rinse, repeat with this bish.

  22. ShesJustStupid says:

    I’ve just had “long lunch” at Stella 34 in Macy’s (nyc peeps: awesome place. go if in area) and returned to an almost empty office. Time for a summer exit. But…

    Somewhere in this city clomps a donkey.

    I realize best way to avoid is to take the subway (which she only did after she tested positive for Celing Cats and fell down the subway stairs. Another lie. Someone can find it), but I have to go to Tribea. She likes it there. I don’t want my buzz to tank.

    • iblow4shoes says:

      “Somewhere in this city clomps a donkey.”

      This would be an excellent first line of a novel.

    • Admiral of the Burro Fleet says:

      That’s why when I go put several beers in my bod in a few hours, I’m going to do it far away from any place the donkey might find an enticing stable.

      • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

        Stay away from chain restaurants and tacky tourist traps.

  23. Donks a lot says:

    This has become a remarkable part of my entertainment.

  24. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    She must have a full schedule in NYC! Let’s see…

    – Stop by Tumblr and College Humor to see old friends.
    – Stop by Red Eye to see old friends.
    – Stop by TONY to see old friends.
    – Stop by Star to see old friends.
    – Meetings at Elle for her ‘column.’
    – Meetings at NBC for upcoming FW coverage.
    – Drinks with Andy Cohen to celebrate successful second season of Miss Advised.
    – Tea with Erica Jong to reminisce about that essay Julia was contributing to an anthology.
    – Dinner with Wallet Thing to reminisce about ski legs.
    – Lunch with buddies Covino and Rich.
    – Girl talk with Lena Dunham.
    – Fittings at her favorite designer, Oscar de la Renta.
    – Shoe shopping at Bergdorf.
    – Sentimental veggie burger at Houston’s.
    – Hang with Davos buddy Nouriel Roubini to discuss state of economy.
    – 8 hour touch-up from Dr Booby.
    – Black tie dinner hosted by Denton to celebrate her return.

  25. Gimme Pig of Love says:

    I think you’re on the wrong cite/sight/site.

    Also, I’m going to take a stab at something and say that you hate White Power Bill.

  26. Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    No debate douchecanoe. You have NO idea how awful it would be were tenure stopped. If the same employment laws/rules were applied to teachers as to any employee, anywhere USA, tenure wouldn’t be needed.

  27. LEFOOLIEH says:

    you’re here commenting often enough that you almost certainly check back, Beaushamp; Greg knows your ego wouldn’t allow you to do anything else. People have a difficult enough time bothering acknowledging you at all, let alone taking out extra time that could be better spent on sexually delicious snark vs. “debating” with you, so enough with behaving like a whiny, bitter pill just for the sake of it. It’s old, nobody believes you, and it’s unbecoming – and untrue.

    • Brussels Sprouts A Terre says:

      hmmm…i’m piecing together that beauchamp came on here and starting shitting on teachers and tenure? yeah, i’ve heard it before. “tenure” for me means really nothing except i’ve been rewarded for hard work. the subject that i teach is the type of subject that would be cut in a second if budgets demanded it. also, our new evaluation system was created specifically to get rid of tenured teachers if necessary. so i certainly don’t have a “job for life.”

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I killed out the comment.

      • iblow4shoes says:

        I think it can be abused, but it keeps differing opinions alive in higher education, no matter the political climate of the day.

      • C says:

        I’m with you on the evaluation process, our AP’s keep screaming, “it’s not meant to be punitive!!!” but then warns of of the 21 points she will be looking for in fifteen minutes. This was a practice year for me as I am tenured (Congrats on yours!!! btw) and months ago, I had a really great evaluation, last week our AP told my department she has been ‘calibrated’ and (miss)advised that her evaluations were way to0 high. “Don’t expect high scoring evaluations next year!”

        tl;dr The new teacher evaluations have little to do with teaching.

        • Brussels Sprouts A Terre says:

          sing it! we were told ours would be “less subjective” and it turned out that they were totally and completely subjective. i had wildly different evaluations from different people, and i am the same teacher, so WTF?!

    • Magda says:

      “you’re here commenting often enough that you almost certainly check back, Beaushamp

      Isn’t ‘Beauchamp’ traditionally pronounced /BEECH-um/?

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        No. Bow-shomp.

        • JuLIAR Allison (is watching Julia & Devin unfold) says:

          In the UK it’s pronounced beecham. Honestly, it’s like they don’t speak English over there with their Leicester and Gloucester and Edinburgh and such. Just say it like spell it or spell it like you say it. God!

          *Flounces back to the convict settlement she came from*

  28. Discount Veneers says:

    Let’s take a moment to be thankful that the donkey has not (yet) taken the “I’ll trap him with a child then bilk him for child support!” route. Because OMG, donkey as mother? Can you imagine the quality and quantity of the fauxtoshooting? The incessant braying?


    • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

      As we saw in her big fancy documentary series, she can’t even get a guy to kiss her. So how’s she going to get one to have sex with her?

      • Discount Veneers says:

        Thank Greg for small favors. No child deserves that headcase for a mother.

        • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

          Nor does any child deserve her original face.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:



    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Don’t speak too soon, I suspect that strategy is next.

      • Devin Stetler 's Healing Personal Pan Pizzas™ (formerly Malf) says:

        Honestly, I thought she would have done it with Pancakes, I really did. Shows just how delusional she is – she thought he would actually want to be with her forever WITHOUT trapping him into a pregnancy.

        • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

          Maybe they didn’t have much sex? I mean, can you imagine how difficult it must be for guys to get it up around her? And given his family’s wealth and prominence, he was probably super cautious about wrapping his stick before dipping it.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I would call Faye Dunaway a beautiful woman.

      I would call Joan Crawford (back in her heyday) a beautiful woman.

      This picture is still somehow the most terrifying thing I have ever seen.

      I think it’s the secret side-eye from the present-opening dwarf.

      It’s like Scarlett O’Hara just took out the Wicked Witch of the East.

  29. ADD says:

    Please don’t hurt me if this has been posted already– but I was just reading Time Magazine and I read a very interesting little tidbit on the editor’s page.

    “Joy Division: What makes you happy? Tell us on Instagram”
    TIME SOCIAL MEDIA: For a project about happiness in different countries, TIME wants to know: What makes our readers happy? ” Blahblahblah. Isn’t this the same drivel JAB has been posting? Could it be she had to copy a fake premise for her fake working on her fake book proposal for her fake book with a fake publisher?

    It just sounds WAY too much like what she has been trying to pass off as legitimate work/daytime activity. And I really have no idea why she even thinks this is a great topic for her to cover anyway–not only has it already been beaten to death since the beginning of time with the efforts of minds FAR more sophisticated than her own, but she has never actually seemed happy to me. I haven’t been on this site nearly as long as most of you, but to me she has always either sounded like she’s trying really hard to pretend she’s happy, or she’s been ranting about being miserable.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      There have been a million books on happiness, but one I thought of in connection with Julia’s penchant for imitation is the lamentable Gretchen Rubin’s “Happiness Project” and follow-up, which enjoyed considerable hype in the NYT and other high-minded circles of superficial wisdom from Very Rich People.

      • ADD says:

        I’ll have to look into that for snarking/giggling into the night while snarfing purposes. I think the best I’ve read was “Stumbling on Happiness” written by a psych, although it’s not psychology-y book at all. Seriously though, sometimes I think she is asking that questions repeatedly because she has never felt it, doesn’t know what it means, and has been frantically searching for it in the wrong self-serving avenues–so she wants other people to tell her what it’s like and where/how to find it.

        Just like she’s too lazy to look up basic shit she might need on her own, she’s crowdsourcing for a cure to being miserable. Too bad she thinks the answer lies in the computer box and not actually getting off her ass and living her life with any semblance of purpose or dignity.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Fuck, it’s not that difficult, is it? Cut negative assholes out of your life. Try to find work that inspires or interests you. Develop a solid network of truly good friends. Get regular exercise. Don’t booze or do drugs excessively. Pursue hobbies that you love. The rest will come to you, no, including meeting potential life partners who will be into you because you have a healthy and interesting life and you’re fine being on your own?

          I guess I have been very lucky but every person I know who is miserable is failing to do one or several of what I just mentioned.

    • Zoe says:

      There’s also a ‘This American Life” story that recently came out that talked about this young-20’s guy that literally walks across America and along the way, records people talking about…you got it- happiness. It’s an all too similar concept to Donkey’s failed road trip / talk to people about happiness idea.

  30. Train(Wreck) Spotting says:

    I delurked and now I can’t stop.

    Re: The Ring. My family has some nice real jewelry, some of which has been passed down to me. I wear simple, but high-quality, stuff every day. (I sound like such a spoilt B but really it’s a cultural thing and my day to day consists of a gold chain w charm and gold hoop earrings. Occasionally a ring.) But I would never expect a boyfriend to try to match the stuff I own. I’d much rather have a unique piece from Etsy or an independent store that cost $30 but was picked out with love/me in mind. Sadly, don’t think that’s what was in Juliar’s mind when she posted that picture.

    Also, congrats on the tenure. I got a bonus (small, but enough to buy a plane ticket!) this week at work and felt great. It’s the kind of money donk would sneeze at, although she’d never work hard enought to earn it. (Although some of why I got it was social media related and it shames me to no end. But we don’t have to buy Twotter fans so I guess I’m winning?)

  31. JFA says:

    IF a single person I knew posted pics like that of themselves on FB, I would hit defriend so fast smoke would come out of my keyboard. She is so fucking cheesy and embarrassing. Gee, I wonder if she is in love? She certainly doesn’t seem to be trying too hard to prove it or anything. Everyone knows real people who are really in love have the time to take 750,000 cheesy hallmark card pics of themselves traipsing on the beach. Also, with all her spackle and clodhoppers etc, she must weigh at least 145. That’s probably more than he does. Stop making him lift you, you damn dingus. I give up. SHe’s such a stupid whore.

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